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wrenwinchester · 2 months

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Bear with me here. Because I have. Some thoughts.

First things first, visit here for another in depth analysis of the table carvings that doesn’t really have anything to do with my commentary, but I found it while looking for the picture for the table and liked their analysis. So….

Anyway, the table. We watch as Sam and Dean carve their own initials, and we know Mary’s initials get added after her death in season 14. That’s all fine and dandy. And we know Cas and Jack’s names get added sometime after Cas’s death, and presumably after Jack leaves, but we don’t really know when, or even by who. We also don’t really know who carved Mary’s initials, not really.

However, we see Sam and Dean’s different styles of carving into things twice. (Sorry about the gore it was the cleanest picture I could find of the car initials completely.)

Now, neither of the boys are identical, however, we can see a distinct difference between Sam and Dean’s style. Dean carves deep, so it will stay a long time, despite wear and tear. Sam however carves wide. He carves out his initials instead of making a hole. It’s much more surface level, almost as if he’s scared of getting in trouble and wants it to be easier to get rid of. But that’s something we can get into later.

When they add Mary’s initials there are a couple things that tip us off that it was Dean who actually carved them in, A) they’re from that direction, which is the side/seat Dean almost always sits in when both brothers are up and about. And B) it has that same depth to it as his initials, and the same style of how the lives meet. Therefore Dean carved Mary’s initials.

However, this brings us back to Jack and Cas.

Both Cas and Jack’s names have that same width over depth, more surface level carving as Sam’s initials. Especially when compared to Dean and Mary’s. The S in Castiel has very similar strokes to the S for Sam’s initials, and the A’s and C’s in their names are similar if not the same (or as same as they can be considering they were carved into wood and sometimes the grain of the wood disrupts flow a little bit).

This, to me, means that Sam was the one to carve Castiel and Jack’s names into the table. And I’d even bet, that he didn’t do it until after Dean died.

Now I could be wrong about this last part, but if I’m remembering correctly, we don’t see all five names/initials until after Dean’s death. While Sam is sitting at the table (notably in Dean’s spot, and wearing dean’s sweatshirt.) with Miracle, so it’s plausible, and even probable.

And I’d bet he did it when he decided he couldn’t live in the bunker anymore without Dean because every little thing reminded him of his brother. And I’ll bet he did it because they are a part of his family and they deserved to be remembered too.

Castiel, the angel of Thursday, the angel who betrayed heaven for the sake of humanity. Who chose over and over again to take the Winchester’s side over any other supernatural being because he trusted their sense of right versus wrong. Castiel, one of the Winchester’s only friends who stuck around, who made sure that they took care of themselves, and made sure to save them while they were saving the world. Castiel, the Winchester’s best friend.

And Jack, their kid. Sure, he was the spawn of Lucifer, but he was Castiel’s kid. He was Sam’s kid, and he was Dean’s kid. (I’ll get to a rant about Dean and Jack’s relationship at a different point because I have thoughts.) Jack saved the world, and he turned out good because of Castiel, because of Sam, and because of Dean. Jack took the mantle of God to protect the world, so he could protect his family, and keep the angels from interfering with human affairs.

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tiktaalic · 7 months

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its been said before. but really is emblematic that they wouldnt even budge on cass vs cas. and would take convoluted routes to avoid writing out the shortened version on screen. dean switched to calling him cas like 4 eps after he was introduced. but his name in dean's phone? castiel. when they pan over the table of initials and its DW SW MW JACK ( who called himself a winchester) and CASTIEL (lol and lmao even).

#etxt #spnwatch

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notdeadyetnatural · 3 years

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It's not great quality, but until someone gets a better one here yall go.

#spn #supernatural #supernatural family #supernatural fandom #supernatural season fifteen #15x19 #15x20 #supernatural 15 years #deanwinchester #samwinchester #castiel #jack #sw #dw #mw

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risley92 · 3 years

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Defacing find wood table tops, this is terrible. They should all be punished....wait this is TV. Their punishment is to never leave the screen, eternal reruns & streaming services.

Carving initials/name is like a ”kilroy was here" moment.

#season 15 supernatural #supernatural #spn #spnfamily #bunker #table #leaving your mark #Castiel #mw #sw #dw #jack

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the--chaos · 5 years

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Supernatural 14×18 - "Absence"

(Castiel, about Jack)

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sexybabystevie · 3 years

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thinking about the younger generation of hunters (and other ages) walking into the bunker post 15x20. they haven't gotten the news yet but they walk in and the lights are off and the door's unlocked. they immediately think the worst, but then they find everything cleaned out. the kitchen is emptied, the guns are taken down from dean's wall. his dean cave is completely gone. everything is as it was prior to them taking residence, except for a few missing lore books from the library. they finally approach one of the old dining tables - perhaps they've shared a meal or two at that very table with sam, dean, cas, or jack - and there's only one sign of the winchesters ever having been there. ever having existed at all, past the rumors, and it's a set of names etched into the wood like an old folktale. 'dw', 'sw', 'mw', 'castiel', and 'jack'.

#mmm i cried writing this on impulse #supernatural #destiel #...should i expand on this on my writing acc?#spn #spn mini fic

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slipper007 · 3 years

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WIP: Sing Me To Sleep

Word Count: 2,485 (of 15000+ so far)

Tags: Destiel, Fix-It Fic, Grief and Mourning, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Canon-Typical Alcoholism, Ignores S15E20 Carry On, more to be added when I post the full piece

Notes: a little addition to celebrate hitting 15k words. Read the begining here. Once it's done, I'll post the whole fic here and on my AO3

As soon as they got back to the Bunker, Dean started making a home for Miracle. He gathered some spare blankets before having an epiphany: she could just sleep with him. She would love the bed, and he would love having her there with him.

It was just his luck the Men of Letters, stuffy old guys that they’d been, had some food dishes perfect for Miracle. He had seen them months ago when he had been looking for an artifact and left them in storage without another thought. He headed over to get them now only to freeze in front of the doorway.

The door to Room 7B was heavy and even standing in front of it took a toll. Mouth dry, Dean managed to put his hand on the knob but couldn’t find it in himself to open the door. He knew what waited on the other side for him, and he didn’t want to see it. The empty space, the sheer nothingness—not even goo or a coat this time—was too much.

He could get the dishes later. Better yet, he could buy new ones. Miracle would love that, wouldn’t she? She deserved nice new dishes to eat from. And while he was out, he could get her food and toys as well.

Dean went back to his room to start making space for Miracle’s things only to see himself in his mirror and freeze. There was a handprint on his shoulder, marked in blood. Slowly, Dean slotted his hand over the mark, aligning the fingers with his own.

Cas.

Dean turned away and bit his lip, hard. Tasting blood, he took his utility jacket off and folded it neatly before putting it in a drawer out of sight. He was too sober for this.

He wandered out into the library, looking for Miracle and pointedly ignoring everything else when he stopped. SW. DW. MW. His family, immortalized in the wood of the table. His fingers traced his mother’s initials absently in thought. Family didn’t end in blood, and the Bunker had been a home to far more than just the Winchesters. They deserved to have their legacy remembered, too.

Dean pulled out his pocketknife, the same one Castiel had used, back in the dungeon. Slowly, carefully, he dug it into the wood and painstakingly added two names: Jack and Castiel. They always should have been there. They should have known that they belonged. It was Dean’s fault for not including them enough, not helping them to feel seen. Maybe if he had, they wouldn’t have left. With a heavy heart, Dean remembered standing in this same library, shouting that Jack wasn’t family. He remembered nearly killing him and blaming him for things beyond his control. Just as bad was the memory of Castiel at this same table, sitting and eating a burrito and being content, happy even, just before Dean had kicked him out. That wasn’t even the worst, was it? No, he had done so much worse to Castiel, even just in the library.

What about beating him to a bloody pulp and leaving him broken on the floor? Mark or no Mark, he had done that. Even if it had taken him everything not to give in to the Mark and kill him. The Collette to his Cain, only asking him to stop. What about only a few months ago?

Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong.

Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

Dean felt sick just thinking about it. He could vividly remember the hurt on Cas’ face and the shock that Dean had said that. It was one of his biggest fears, being a useless screw-up, only around until he was no longer useful. Dean had known that and still said it. What kind of a person did that make him? And more than that, what did that make Cas’ true happiness? How do you love someone like that, someone irredeemable? It couldn’t be love.

Castiel was wrong. He hadn’t done everything out of love. If he had, he never would have pushed Cas away.

To distract himself, Dean tore his eyes from the newly added names and caught himself thinking about adding more. Who else was family, who else had they neglected to include?

Sam came out from the hallway looking ready to have a heart to heart and Dean couldn’t take it.

“You want a beer?” Without waiting for an answer, Dean stood. “I’m gonna grab a beer.” Then he headed towards the kitchen.

“It's pretty quiet,” Sam said once Dean returned, taking the offered beer. Dean hummed in agreement.

There was a silence, so heavy that Dean almost didn’t break it. In a rough voice, he managed to say, “To everyone that we lost along the way.” He clinked his beer against Sam’s and took a swig, ending it abruptly. He needed something stronger. Vodka, maybe, or bourbon, though he wasn’t sure if they had either of those in the Bunker anymore. He had already gone through a fair amount after Cas was taken, and then even more when it was the whole world. Still, maybe he had missed a bottle somewhere. He was about to stand to search when Sam started to speak.

“You know…with Chuck not writing our story anymore, we get to write our own.” His voice lilted upwards, optimistic in a way that Dean hadn’t heard in months. “You know, just you and me going wherever the story takes us…. Just us.”

“Finally free,” Dean summed up. He thought about the last few months, his own obsession with freedom. Sam’s statement was right—it was just them. They hadn’t reached out to anyone else yet, too overwhelmed with the implications of Chuck being defeated. That didn’t change the fact that Castiel wasn’t there to share it with them. Or Jack for that matter. He had been shoehorned into the position of God, had never gotten to be a kid. Dean’s heart ached in sympathy. If anything, Jack was more trapped than ever.

Sam and Dean had gotten their freedom, but at one hell of a cost. Still, Sam looked so hopeful…. Dean could be content, or at least pretend to be, for Sam’s sake.

He clapped his little brother on the shoulder, forced a smile, and they went for a drive.

For a little while, he dared to hope that by flooring it on the open road, with music blasting from the radio, Dean might be able to escape his grief. They could go anywhere, do anything. He and Sam had earned the right to a fresh start after at least three apocalypses, but Dean didn’t know if that was what he wanted. How could he start over if his best friend was dead and their kid was gone? He might still have Sam, but what about the rest of his family? Didn’t they all deserve the chance to begin again?

There was no destination to their journey and even Dean didn’t know where they were going. All he knew was that they were going away. To distract himself from the road, he paid more attention to the music, only to balk at it. Running on Empty. He couldn’t help grimacing at that last word and turned the music off rather than changing the station.

Sam, for his part, was watching Dean, taking in and gauging his reaction. Well, what was the damn point of the drive if neither of them was enjoying it?

When they got back, Sam seemed just as disturbed as Dean felt. The world had fundamentally changed, and it was like it hadn’t. The world went on, every moment passed as though there wasn’t a throbbing ache in Dean’s chest. They had lost their son and best friend. They were alone all over again, just like those first few lonely years when they had been looking for John.

Dean hated it.

The Winchesters settled in their respective spaces—Dean in the kitchen and Sam in the library. The stash of alcohol in the kitchen was gone. Had he really drunk it all already? Dean sighed and took a beer from the fridge instead while he made dinner. He managed to find some solace in it, as he always did. It was nice to cook and bake, to wear a silly apron and ask people to “try this!” After years of living on the road and killing monsters, Dean was able to flip the script. He was able to use his hands, hands that had become accustomed to being covered in blood and gore and dirt, to do good in another way. He didn’t need to be violent anymore; he could care for his family, or what was left of it.

Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.

Dean swallowed thickly as emotion rose within him, but managed to keep pushing it down, holding it back. He would deal with it later, once he was alone in his room and sure that Sam wouldn’t walk in. He finished cooking up the burgers and took a few steps over to where he had already laid out the plates and hamburger buns.

Four plates waited to be filled. Only Sam and Dean remained.

“Going out!” he shouted over his shoulder a few heartbeats later, running up the stairway and out the door before Sam could stop him.

He didn’t make it to the liquor store. His eyes were burning and his vision swimming only minutes after he left, and rapidly he found himself pulling off onto the side of the road. Everything was too much.

Castiel was gone. He was dead, after nearly a dozen years of it not sticking. Dean had thought that maybe grieving would get easier. After all, he had lost everyone: his mother, his father, his brother, Bobby, every friend they had ever had, and so many more. It hurt like hell, every single time, but eventually he could cope. He had lost Castiel before, five deaths and countless almosts before this one. Why did it hurt worse? Every single time, losing Castiel left him emptier and emptier.

Cas was… Cas was his best friend. A pillar in his life. Someone who he could count on. Someone who should have outlived him. But he was more than that, wasn’t he? Dean hadn’t gotten the chance to reply, had hardly gotten to process before Castiel was gone. Cas loved him, and Dean hadn’t—

Dean neither knew nor cared how long he sat there. His grief only grew deeper with each minute, especially with the sheer despair of realizing that Castiel’s true happiness was what had killed him. His happiness was coming out, speaking his truth, and now he was dead. Dean ran out of tears, but ugly, breathless sobs still racked his body when he found it in himself to pull back onto the road.

The sales clerk in the liquor store gave him a look as he checked out. Dean didn’t know if it was for the volume he was buying or how fucked he undoubtedly looked. Didn’t care, either. He held off for the drive back and started drinking in the garage. Then the library. When Sam found him on his way to his room, Dean was solidly drunk and sobbing again, too far gone to care about appearances anymore. He just wanted the pain of it all to be gone.

He fought to keep the bottle of bourbon but Sam managed to take it, along with the rest. Without something in his hands, they were restless. Dean ran them over his face and through his hair before they ended up clutching at Sam’s shirt as the weight of his grief pulled him down.

“They’re… they’re jus'… gone,” he mumbled into Sam’s shoulder. “Jack… ‘nd C— Cas…”

He felt his brother’s arms close tighter around him and somehow felt worse, like he didn’t deserve it.

“I…I k-killed ‘im, Sam. He tol’… me he l-loved me, ‘nd then he was…”

Sam helped him to his room and stayed with him until he fell asleep, listening and shushing him in equal regard. With his eyes bleary and full of unshed tears, Dean thought the silhouette of Sam in the extra chair looked almost like Castiel, and he took comfort in that for a few minutes.

When Dean woke up, his heart was racing and the distorted nightmare of black goo was rapidly fading. He turned to the empty chair in his room and then to the door before seeing Miracle. She had situated herself in between his legs and was whining loudly. If he had been a little less hungover, he probably would have found it terrifying, given the number of nightmares he’d had featuring whines and growls. The sound grated against his ears but she seemed to perk up seeing him awake. Decidedly less nightmare-ish. He carefully extracted himself from his bed and ran the cold tap water over his hands and wrists, letting it ground him before washing the sweat from his face and popping a pain-reliever. He looked rough, with bags under bloodshot eyes and stubble across his jaw and cheeks. He probably smelled as well, wearing yesterday’s clothes soiled by booze and sweat. It didn’t matter much; Dean had no intention of going anywhere and lacked the energy to get cleaned up.

Miracle whined loudly again and Dean allowed himself to get back into bed to lay with her until she was a little happier. He absentmindedly scratched Miracle’s head while waiting for the throbbing ache in his head and chest to dissipate. He settled for one of the two and, after a few hours, made his way out of his room.

Sam was on the phone in the library, but upon seeing his brother put an end to his conversation. Dean didn’t know what he expected: to be chastised, perhaps, or to be forced through a heart-to-heart. Worse, to have Sam look at him with pity without saying a damn thing. Instead, his brother wrapped him in a brief hug.

“How are you holding up?”

“’M fine.”

“Dean…”

“’M fine, Sam.” Dean kept his tone stiff as he pulled out a seat, unwilling to become the sobbing mess again in front of his brother. Maybe Sam understood that, as he changed the subject after a beat.

“Hey, I talked to Jody. She and the girls are okay, and she says Donna is, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Dean said, nodding.

“Yeah. She wanted to know if we wanted to catch dinner next week sometime.”

Dean froze for a second before shaking his head adamantly. “Maybe some other time.”

“What? Why?”

“Claire. Sam, I would have to tell her that Cas….”

Sam’s face filled with understanding and his own grief. “I’ll tell her we can’t make it.”

///

AN: I swear this is gonna end happily.

Tagging some people who might be interested in the update: (ask to be added or removed!)

@becky-srs @bizzlepotter @bonkybornes @casgirl @chaoticbisexualdean @evermorecastiel @ineffable-impala @lassoted @poohkeepsee @professorerudite @theangelwiththewormstache @thiscastielhasflown

#destiel fic #wip update #my writing #wip writing #destiel #spn fic #slipper007writes

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theoneandonlytruejack · 3 years

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“To Everyone That We Lost Along The Way“

Ladies and Gentlemen, a round of applause for your Supernatural players. It’s been one hell of a show:

SW = Sam Winchester, the boy with the Demon blood DW = Dean Winchester, the righteous man MW = Mary Winchester, the all too human mother CASTIEL = Castiel, the Winchester's Guardian Angel JACK = Jack Kline, Lucifer's reformed son JW = John Winchester, the vengeful father AM = Adam Milligan, the third Winchester brother CROWLEY = Crowley, King of the Crossroads/Hell MEG = The Demon that possessed Meg Masters AK = Arthur Ketch, muscle for the British Men of Letters CB = Charlie Bradbury, the sister they never had BENNY = Benny Lafitte, Dean's vampire friend GADREEL = Gadreel, the angel who let the snake into Eden GF-IV = Garth Fitzgerald IV, Dean's werewolf dentist/dance partner RF = Rufus Turner, Bobby's best friend KC = Krissy Chambers, from the next generation of hunters CN = Claire Novak, Jimmy's lost daughter JM = Jody Mills, the supernatural sheriff who rebuilt a family LS = Lily Sunder, the woman with many regrets PT = Patience Turner, Missouri's wayward granddaughter PB = Pamela Barnes, the blind psychic BR = Becky Rosen, Supernatural's biggest fangirl EZ+HS = Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler, the Ghostfacers AJ = Annie Jones, the vampire victim who reclaimed her life MM = Missouri Moseley, John Winchester's psychic friend SAMANDRIEL = Samandriel, the Heavenly fry cook and Castiel's #1 fan ASH = Ash, the Roadhouse's biggest patron HW = Henry Winchester, John's missing father RM = Rowena MacLeod, the Queen of Hell BS = Bobby Singer, Sam and Dean's adoptive father EL = Eileen Leahy, Sam's girlfriend and too cute for words LB+BB = Lisa Braeden and Ben Braeden, Dean's other family EMMA = Emma, Dean Winchester's daughter LT+KT = Linda Tran and Kevin Tran, a prophet of the Lord and his supportive mother DH = Donna Hanscum, Jody's best friend DR = Donatello Redfield, a prophet of the lord and lover of chicken wings AP = Amy Pond, Sam Winchester's forbidden friend KK = Kelly Kline, Jack's departed mother KN = Kaia Nieves, the Dreamwalker EH+JH = Ellen Harvelle and Jo Harvelle, the owners of the Roadhouse GABRIEL = Gabriel, the one Archangel on their side BALTHAZAR = Balthazar, Castiel's brother in arms SULLY = Sully, Sam's imaginary friend KATE = Kate, the reluctant werewolf LENORE = Lenore, the shameful vampire DOROTHY B = Dorothy Baum, a.k.a. Dorothy of OZ

#supernatural #SPN #15x19 #15x20 #the road so far

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moonshadecastiel · 3 years

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15X19 Summary

Dean: Hey look a dog

Dean: dammit

Lucifer: It's me, Castiel, come out here and kiss me Dean

Dean: On my way!

Dean: dammit

Michael: Adam was 98% of my impulse control, and it still turns out I want to be daddy's favorite

Chuck: d i e

Chuck: Can y'all just stay on the ground pls

Sam: No, we look good bloody anyways and you know it

Jack: I've been sucking up your power, so suck on that, gramps

Chuck: Noooooooooooo!

SW DW MW Castiel Jack

#supernatural #spn #castiel #dean winchester #supernatural family #sam winchester #jack kline #supernatural spoilers #supernatural season fifteen #supernatural season 15

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destielayna · 3 years

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Into the Empty (a Destiel fic)

Chapter 9: With You

(Originally posted to Ao3)

Jack heals Cas first, then fixes up Sam’s shoulder, and then the four of us just kind of sit there in disbelief that we actually pulled this off.

Part of me wants to celebrate, because saving Cas feels like the biggest win we could have hoped for. But knowing that Chuck is still out there—that we still have the whole rest of the world to save—brings an ominous tension to the air. Our fight isn’t over.

I have to wonder, will it ever be?

“You both look terrible,” Cas says to Sam and I. I have to laugh at his bluntness, but he’s not wrong. I feel like I haven’t slept right in weeks.

“Thanks for that,” Sam says, “I’m gonna try to get some sleep. We’ll worry about Chuck in the morning.”

Jack nods in agreement, “I definitely could use some sleep right now.”

As Jack heads off to his room, and Sam turns to do the same, I stop him.

I put a hand on his shoulder, and remind him, “Hey, we’re bringing her back, okay? Whatever it takes.”

The sadness in his eyes is deep, because while I know he’s glad we found Cas, Eileen is on his mind as much as Cas has been on mine. “I know we will,” Sam says, and I tug him close to hug him in the way only a brother can.

Before he leaves, he glances from me to Cas, “Glad to have you back, man,” he says.

“Glad to be back,” Cas replies, as Sam heads off to bed, leaving the two of us alone.

When I turn to face him, I have to take a deep breath. There’d been so much fear pent up in my chest after the Empty took him that I would never see him again. Never get the chance to tell him what I should have years ago.

“Cas, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

He walks closer to me, “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“Where do I start?”

I sit down at the table, my eyes glancing to the place in its surface where we’ve all carved our names. DW, SW, MW, Jack, Castiel… he’s been family for so long, but it wasn’t until losing him in this way that I realized how different it was.

I spent so many years, thinking all I wanted from him was friendship. Was brotherhood. And there was a time where that was true. But somewhere along the way, Cas became more to me than I realized. Maybe it was when I was searching for him in Purgatory, maybe it was when he lost his grace and I had to watch him become fully human, or maybe it really wasn’t until I heard the words fall from his lips... I love you.

God, do I love him too, and I’ve never felt like more of a fool for not realizing it when I should have. It shouldn’t have taken this for me to see it.

He leans on the table next to where I’m sitting, arms folded over his chest, as he says, “Dean, you don’t owe me anything. I admit…” he pauses as if unsure he should say whatever he’s about to, “kissing you back there was… something I have wanted for a long time. But I don’t want your guilt at the Empty taking me to make you feel obligated to me in any way. I know that you don’t—”

“Cas, stop.”

He looks surprised that I cut him off, but it takes me a second to collect myself before I can make the words come out. “The way I grew up, raised on the road by my dad… as much I love him, the way he raised us, or hell, didn’t raise us sometimes, I never had time to figure myself out. Like you said, I felt like his blunt instrument. I was trying so hard to be everything he wanted me to be, the tough guy. The big brother. The ladies man with that Winchester swagger. I never got to really ask myself who I wanted to be. How I wanted my life to go. But these last years, since knowing you… Cas, you showed me how different I could be. That I didn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but mine.”

I stand up and start pacing, something to help with how much I’m trying to process as I pour myself out to him like this, “And then Jack. My mom coming back and me getting the time with her I never had. All of it… I spent so long thinking it was just me and Sammy against the whole world, and that I needed to stay that brave big brother to him or it would all fall apart. But I know now. Sam is always gonna be my baby brother. I’m always gonna charge into hell after him and be there for him. But watching him really fall for Eileen? Seeing him hunting with her and making breakfast with her here in the bunker. Having a chance at being with someone who gets the life, and still makes him happier than I’ve ever seen him… I realized that I want that too.”

When I look to him, his eyes are as tearful as mine, “And Cas, I want that with you.”

He strides across the room to where I’m standing, and with reckless abandon, he presses me up against the wall behind me and kisses me deeply.

I’ve never in all my hook-ups, in all my realtionships, in all my life-felt a kiss like this.

Its as if the sparks that fell from the roof of that barn the day I met him are igniting again from the feeling of his lips against mine. I put my arms around him, hands clutching the fabric of his trenchcoat on his back, as he runs one of his hands through my hair to pull my head closer to his. It’s everything I could have ever dreamed of, but never believed I’d ever get the chance at having. A love like the kind my parents shared, the kind that transcends life and death and heaven and hell.

When he pulls back for just a moment, I say what I should have told him so, so long ago. “I love you, Cas…”

He smiles at me, and kisses my forehead in a gesture so gentle, I can never believe I’ll deserve it.

“I love you too.”

(Read the rest on Ao3)

#destiel #supernatural season 15 #spn spoilers #supernatural spoilers #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #fixit fic #spn coda

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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what do you think of the sw/dw/mw/cw carvings discussion j2 had at chicon?

I had no idea what you were asking this morning when I first saw this, because I don’t typically watch con videos, and haven’t for years (it gets old really fast when they basically get asked the same few questions every time, you know? How’s the family? Tell us about pranks on set! etc.). So I decided to scroll my dash to see if I could figure out what they’d said before replying.

I saw a couple of posts of tweets from the con that paraphrased them, and apparently they joked about it (as they always do).

So, being a responsible human being, I decided that I needed to actually see the video for myself before forming an opinion, and not just spouting off on a couple of out of context fan interpretations of what was actually said. Unsurprisingly, they go on for like four whole minutes, far longer than those Hot Take Tweets would lead one to believe…(eta: the video was being weird, but their question starts at about 7:15 in case it’s not functioning properly still…)

youtube

Jared starts out immediately making jokes while Jensen sits there quietly. They do joke about it a bit, but then Jensen gets serious and actually talks about the decision to add Mary’s initials to the table, changing what’s been an iconic bit of imagery that’s been part of the show since 5.22. How that made him feel, and commenting that he expects a lot more of that sort of thing as the story draws to a close. And then to break that tension Jared turns it back into a joke again and they play it off.

Which is how so many con question replies go.

Does anyone reading this legit think that the story the show has been telling isn’t leading directly to Cas completing this journey into the Winchester family? Like… really? Does anyone reading this think Cas won’t have a CW on the table by the end of the series? Because Cas is still struggling with exactly how and why he belongs in the family. This was his primary worry he expressed regarding Jack, and why he didn’t say anything about his concerns for Jack in 14.18. This is literally what Cas is struggling with, and is his main character arc right now.

How many times has Dean (and Sam) declared Cas part of the family? Going back YEARS, even.

So jokes about not knowing Cas, or not thinking he’s a Winchester? Um… I don’t know how to tell anyone this, but this is one of those “this would be a major spoiler if they discussed the future of an ongoing major plot point” sort of situations. Maybe not the actual carving of a CW into the table, but everything surrounding it as we’re running up to the season finale.

In the episode we’ve just watched, seeing the MW on the table as part of Mary’s funeral pyre montage… can we as a fandom allow that to stand on its own as a memorial in this moment without making the assumption that it’s some sort of dig against Cas? Can we understand how emotionally meaningful it was for Sam and Dean to fully embrace Mary after everything they’ve been through in the last three years since she was resurrected, and that it literally took her death for them to honor her memory in this specific way.

With that context, do people understand why this was a HUGE emotional hurdle for Sam and Dean? To take this symbol of the fact that they had been alone since childhood, this pact forged between boys when they were children, in an episode where Cas (in his flashback) told Mary he was glad she was back because now her boys aren’t so alone, and Mary herself (who told Dean from before he was born that “angels are watching over you”) insisted that they were never alone (because Cas was with them all along), and for Sam and Dean to acknowledge that Mary now was a real part of their lives instead of the Sainted Mother Mary on a Pedestal that had been the focus of the revenge mission that shaped their entire lives…???

S14 so far has been focused heavily on laying the baggage of the past to rest so that Sam, Dean, and Cas really will be able to look toward the future. And this memory of Mary is something they want to carry with them accordingly. She’d been what had been missing from their entire lives. She was the reason their lives were lived out of the back seat of the Impala where they originally staked their claim with their initials. They’re not two lonely, frightened children anymore. When they staked their claim on the bunker (in 12.18– ONE EPISODE BEFORE 12.19, and The Future, where their entire concept of their legacy goes out the window, thanks Bobo again), it was framed around a discussion of “their legacy” they were building for the future. It was framed as wildly uncertain, during a time when they were once again feeling profoundly alone– Mary off with the BMoL, Cas disappeared to points unknown and not answering his phone– that Bobo bringing this back to add Mary SPECIFICALLY at this point in the story, well… this feels like Step Number One in embracing their future rather than the end of the road, you know?

That said, what were Jared and Jensen really supposed to say to this question? We all know Cas is family. They’ve driven that point home so hard for years that it’s impossible to deny. But having his initials carved into the table should be A Big Deal, and not tacked on to this moment that was about Mary.

Cas hasn’t come to that point in his personal arc where he’s fully accepted his place in the family. Yes, he acknowledges he’s part of the family, but he hasn’t really finished figuring out what that actually means for him. Even in 14.18 he demonstrated this, admitting that he still feels insecure about his place in the family, still needing to feel “useful”:

Castiel: I was scared. I had believed in Jack for so long, I believed that he was good. I knew he would be good for the world. And he was good for us. My faith in him, it never wavered, and then I-I saw what he did. It wasn’t malice. It wasn’t evil. It was like Jack saw a problem, and in his mind, he just solved it with that snake.Dean: The snake!Castiel: What he did wasn’t bad. It was the absence of good. And I saw that in him. But we were a family, and I didn’t want to lose that, so I thought I could… fix it on my own. Felt like it was my responsibility. So I left and didn’t tell you. If I could go back and just – just talk to him right then and there, I would. But I can’t, Dean. I failed you. And I failed Jack. And I failed –Dean: No, no. Don’t even say it. Don’t even say her name.

He still pinned his worthiness as a Winchester to Jack’s. Still sees himself as maybe a conditional member of the family, not really deserving to be their in his own right yet. Which is clearly The Major Thing he needs to accept for himself, you know? Let’s not rush the end of his narrative and rob him of the immense personal victory it will be for him to fully accept his place with the Winchesters for who he is, and not for what he can do for them.

#chicon 2019 #castiel winchester #pr is not showrunning #and neither is con banter #mary f winchester #spn 14.18 #spn s14 spoilers #anyone with two eyes and two brain cells to rub together can see that adding a CW to the table #will be the culmination of cas's personal acceptance arc and not some afterthought randomly tacked on without comment #regardless of the seemingly flippant deflection j2 engage in on con panels #and again this is why i mostly ignore con panels because they're useless as meta fodder #and often get taken entirely out of context and blown so far out of proportion as to be nothing more than wank fuel so...#Anonymous #spn 5.22 #spn 12.18 #spn 12.19 #spn 5.13

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