#tarot saved me

[cookinguptales]

You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

#I guess it did save me a lot of money #I'll still probably go up to nyc to visit with friends for my bday but I won't go all the way out to brooklyn for the show #and I probably won't need to get the hotel room #and I DEFINITELY won't be supporting their patreon like I was planning lmao #I'll buy myself a new tarot deck for my birthday instead #cw: #disability #ableism

[kaitobromota]

thh survivors posting

#theyrehhsoo important to me #don’t worry about the tarot card one he can reclaim 👍 #im sorry kyokos only in that one i promise i love her so so sooo much #i only saved so many posts #kyoko kirigiri #byakuya togami #aoi asahina #makoto naegi #toko fukawa #yasuhiro hagakure #genocider syo #genocide jack #junkos there once i guess #junko enoshima #danganronpa #dr1 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #thh survivors #text post edit #shsl shitposting

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

The Fool bears the burden of wielding unlimited potential in the face of a new, long adventure—but he perches upon the precipice of fate and smiles regardless, ignorant of what the future plans for him. He invokes you to take a leap of faith as well, make as many connections as possible, and to trust in the life that's coming...and to embrace it as broadly as you can.

Upright, the Fool represents Beginnings, Innocence, Spontaneity, and Idealism

When Reversed, the Fool is indicative of Naivety, Reluctance, Recklessness, and Holding Back

#ninjago #the lego ninjago movie #tlnm #lloyd garmadon #legacyverse #the ninja legacy whip #legacyverse tarot #art tag #art of mine #works of mine #as if this card could go to anyone else ;P #i am aware it's not his birthday yet BUT #that's gonna be saved for the other two cards this month~ #it was very important to me personally to do this one first

[robo-dino-puppy]

horizontober 2023 | 18: tarot

#horizontober2023 #horizon forbidden west #hfw #hfwbs #aloy #pls don't come at me if this isn't a good interpretation of this tarot card bc i've never studied tarot T_T #but i looked it up and this is the one that spoke to me (that i thought i'd be able to do in photomode lol) #i actually got pretty into designing the border but it needs a lot more work and then i realized i saved my wip as a flattened image >.< #so....... all my layers are gone. fuck me. #still! i can recreate it without too much trouble (the pattern is an svg in inkscape) #and my quest to make svgs of the whole alphabet imitating the logo 'brushstrokes' on the horizon font continues #i think i've done most letters by now? just missing like q x y z and a few others #i also have a few variants (esp r/h/n) with different ascenders/descenders and some with the gaps in the vertical strokes #if anyone wants a word/title you're welcome to ask me and i'll see what i can do if i have time!

[kelenia]

My dream is having enough time to make the whole major arcana

#i even have them all thought out and everything #someone pay me to do this lmao #scumbag system #scum villian self saving system #svsss #liu qingge #tarot #my art #scum villains self saving system

[affytaffy]

i think it would be really sweet if mercedes was the one who taught normal tarot and bought him his first deck. and after mercedes passed, the deck she bought him was so important to normal that he refused to throw it away or use any other deck. its been very worn down over the years and its smelly like him but he just cant throw it away

#stop im so unwell i cant believe shes gone #ive always thought about mercedes doing tarot readings but now i know NORMAL DOES THEM #please #mercedes oak garcia save me #dndads #dndads spoilers

[arcanewonder]

the lady of murder.

#the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 render #bg save #morwen #this is kind of a tarot style edit #which i'm never good at but it was sitting in my head for a while #she's a very somber moon elf it matters at all #the actual novelization of the first bg never existed to me #we don't talk about abdel adrien in this household #blood tw

[kisaraslover]

if anyone has any problem making sense of the way i interpret Kaiba just remember this: Tea Gardner looks at him one day and has the dawning realization "hes like a lesbian of some kind" this should make all the pieces fall into place

#not art #tea gardner #anzu mazaki #seto kaiba #yugioh #ygo #i mean it. kisara existing or not. i mean ittttt #i look at him. i look at myself. i look at his barely contained animosity towards all men- immediate competition- rivals #and then his much more calm reception of women. and i go ''hes literally me'' #this is why im forever kaiba-mai valentine kaiba-ishizu friendship truther. tea doesnt make the cut but like. #if i write the series again id have to make him choose her for anything that isnt dueling. that spot is determinedly atem #but hes gotta sit next to someone from yugi gang for a flight? gardner. hes gotta share a cab? gardner. hes gotta save a yugi friend? #gardner. #not that they speak. not that hed want to spend time with her he doesnt have to. but to me hes like those dogs that hate men always #mai valentine would genuinely have his respect -she seems to have given battles of her own and came out a bit similar to him #hed actively enjoy her humor especially if joey is the butt of it. she would actively make an effort to get close too. birds of a feather #ishizu though. ohhh hed be so annoyed anytime shes like ''fate and gods and magic'' the way i am when straight girls bring up. #astrology. and tarot and whatnot. half disproving and trying to convince them. half listening to see where they take it #but 100% not taking it seriously for himself #but shes an accomplished woman who can be a deadly business woman and hed like that part of her. #again he can see himself reflected in powerful women and the sexist writing aside he just wouldnt be threatened by them #COUGH gozaburo COUGH. #sigh i just gotta make everything about that asshole dont i. #<- actual seto kaiba thought whenever he has an emotional awakening to his trauma once again being tied to gozaburo #DAMN im a good kinnie. yeeeesh

[release-th-kraken]

Tarot Pull for 4/18 Kraken-Wild:

LETS DO IT ONE MOR ETIME KRAKENBLR <3 oughhh man. oh boy what a season..,, THAT being said. i love these cards for our last game AND for looking to the future they both just feel very... optimistic. modest fortitude for the obvious reasons of, recomposing ourselves and waiting patiently for our chance to shine as a team. and. the intelligence card in the sense that it's been kind of a rough season for players and fans alike, but! BUT! as mentioned in previous readings/etc. we have such a good foundation with, the firebirds, and our core players, and we have such a special lovely fan culture here that like. my non-kraken fan friends have told me how great the kraken culture seems!! idk. i feel like with the care that the fans and the players and the organization have put into building this team, our time is definitely coming. was it this season?? no!! will it be soon?? who knows!! but these cards to me encapsulate the grit and perseverance and whimsy this team has. there were such good moments this season too!! i could list them all but i shant!! but anyways. it's fun as hell watchin our boys play and being whimsy and heinous with u all <3 see yall in september!!

#oughhhh man. oh man im gonna miss them!! #save me mariners... #jk jk #love u krakenblr thank u all for being so welcoming and lovely <3 #kraken lb #seattle kraken #tarot pulls

[shuro]

today has been a neverendingn struggle. at least my neopets tarot deck is out for delivery

#hey who gives a digit? #neopets tarot deck. neopets tarot deck save me

[this-thing-saved-me]

Recently I showed my nephews a few of the classic Silly Songs with Larry videos and I just have an ample amount of gratitude to the creatures. These videos are somewhat unhinged and take the best parts of SNL and Python-esque skits to make three-ish minutes of musical gold.

Tucked safely between two episodes of children's television that are equally entertaining Bible stories.

My mom loved that we loved Veggie Tales. I still have the whole whack of DVDs somewhere in storage.

The songs are embedded in my cerebellum and I'm not at all embarrassed about performing a dramatic reenactment of "The Hairbrush Song" for the tots was met with many giggles. (I know how to appeal to my audience.)

Despite the fact that it's been well over 20 years since I regularly attended church (first because I became the Sunday person at work with Very Important Responsibilities that included reorganizing the entire New Release wall. It remains my favourite job task I've ever had and should probably just become a merchandiser when all is said and done, but I digress. And kid since I've also been paid to attend concerts, rock. on. Second because my mom stopped going too so there was no longer... an excuse? a reason?) sometimes I miss it.

Engaging services anyway. Good music. Good messages. Just generally an hour of spreading something positive. That's what I liked about Veggie Tales. Non-denominational messaging. No "we're the better Christian's because of X-Y-Z..."

Whatever your precise definition of God looks like, I always appreciated the message in every video that included the words: "God made you special, and he loves you very much."

The consistency of that message I believe is a true value. That there is someone outside of you that sees your inherent worth just because you are here and you are loved for that.

That message certainly stayed with me, long after I stopped watching, or listening. (Don't look at my YouTube history for this morning, there was not a Cebu-related rabbit hole that I regret taking from an earworm perspective.)

I haven't been to a non-wedding/funeral related religious service in at least... no wait I also once got paid to attend a church service for work. Still likely a good ten years. It could be interesting to try a few on for size.

#this thing saved me #this song saved me #veggie tales #the dance of the cucumber #larry the cucumber #bob the tomato #this is sitting this is standing im sitting #are you there god it's me the tarot girl who suddenly misses church #god made you special and he loves you very much #self love #Youtube

[bennijie]

The Lovers

#elliot #elliot save me #bennijie art #dunamis #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dunamis dnd #d&d #dnd art #tarot #love us a trans king

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

falcone family which mostly* profits from human pleasure (brothel & drug sales) is so important to me

#they deserved a casino honestly. devil tarot card for real #yes i know its like a basic thing for mafia/criminals in general but #clemente got his meat business & vinci controls the port #its one of the reasons falcone polycule seems very natural to me. fits them well #m2 #*i mean based on the image they've been given in the game #sorry. just thought bout the garden of eden once again #wait #ok if its eddie's brothel tf he called it like that #😭ok new random thing to think bout bye #noooo i remembered one scene from the script where eddie says some serpent coded shit #it wasnt on purpose but now it is i guess. save me serpent eddie #this whole pleasure theme intertwines with eddie's alcoholism btw🤨 #falcone family youll always be the definition of greed to me #+ smth bout place/person. ill think bout it later #“u can sink ur teeth into anyone's flesh and call it an act of giving”

[don-othellito]

I've been possessed with the sudden urge to draw them turts as tarot cards hehe. I'll post Donnie's tomorrow

Also, i'm having a hard time figuring out what raph's card is gonna be, so if you've got any ideas please let me know 💜

Donnie "The Hermit | Mikey "The Sun" | Raph "Strength"

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt art #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rottmnt leonardo #rise leonardo #rise of the tmnt fanart #tarot cards #this is so gay and mentally ill of me #heehoo

[poorlittleyaoyao]

in which my tarot deck advocates killing Jin Guangshan

I view tarot cards as a fun thought-focusing activity rather than a tool for divination, so when I draw a set of cards that seems random, I look for patterns and try to figure out other situations or people it could apply to, be they real or imaginary.

So today I present to you the cards I drew last night, which thankfully have zero application to my own life but DO give a spot-on reading for Jin Guangyao!

The spread I used is the WTF Spread found here, and oh my god, once I got to the third card, I was CACKLING. Let’s go through it!

(tl;dr the cards say TIME FOR PATRICIDE)

“WHAT THE” (the challenge at hand): Six of Wands upright

The Six of Wands is about accomplishments, success, and recognition. To quote the book that accompanied my deck: “This card indicates that you have approached your goals with strength, perseverance, and focus, and that others are taking notice. [...] With achievement and praise comes the expectation of future greatness. Get ready to take things to the next level.” It’s important to note that Wands as a suit is about creativity, so cleverness/resourcefulness is core to this particular type of success.

A very positive card, but it’s in the “problem” position, which means that the expected recognition has not been forthcoming. For example, maybe your dad still treats you like garbage even though you've gone above and beyond in everything from event planning to war crimes. What else do the cards say?

“ACTUAL” (what is real about the situation?): Two of Swords upright

The Two of Swords warns against avoidance or denial of difficult truths--hence the blindfold over the falcon’s eyes. Swords as a suit is about logic and decisiveness, so this card urges you to look at things objectively and take action. “Many major decisions involve pain, sacrifice, or sadness,” says the book. “Now is not the time to be emotional about your choices.“

JGY understands this--he says as much to NMJ in their final confrontation on the stairs--but he’s still clinging to the hope that JGS will accept him if he shows enough filial piety. Has literally any of that panned out, buddy? The cards say it’s time to face facts.

“FUCK” (what is not real about the situation?): Four of Pentacles reversed

The Four of Pentacles is about materialism--you’ve accumulated wealth, but you’ve alienated yourself from community and interpersonal connection. (So, you know, typical Jin behavior.) When reversed, it implies greed or a debilitating fear of losing wealth or material security. “Learn to set aside the fear, anxiety, and greed, and see wealth as just one facet of a healthy life,” the book advises.

Easier said than done if you grew up in poverty and have a chip on your shoulder! But this card is in the “what’s NOT true” position, reminding JGY that his situation is not as precarious as it was when he was Meng Yao. Maybe JGS is more of a threat than a safeguard.

“?” (where do I need more information?): Six of Cups reversed

Cups cards are about emotions, and the Six of Cups is generally a positive card about happy memories and childhood nostalgia. When it’s reversed, however... “You are clinging to your ideas or identity from the past or there are issues from your past from which you have not moved forward. Use your past as the guide to your future, but focus on the present and laying your foundations for the future.”

GOSH GOLLY, I WONDER HOW THIS COULD POSSIBLY RELATE TO JIN GUANGYAO!

The “more information” sought in this case would be, what course of action would best allow him to avenge honor his mother? It sure would be handy if JGS candidly stated his opinion of Meng Shi where JGY could hear it!

“!” (what can I do?): Knight of Pentacles reversed

Pentacles as a suit isn’t just about wealth; it’s about security. The Knight of Pentacles embodies responsibility and an affectionate sort of sturdiness. “The archetype represented by this knight is the dependable, strong, male protector and provider.” Reversed, it can mean that something--or someone, since court cards are often understood to represent people in your life--is not as dependable as you thought.

JGY had a Knight of Pentacles in NMJ until he didn’t. He had a Knight of Pentacles (but make it EVIL!) in WRH, but that was meant to be temporary. He wanted and expected his father to be the all-time Knight of Pentacles, but JGS never was and never will be. JGY is 2 for 3 on murdering failed Knights of Pentacles. This card says that it’s time to go for 100%.

#new 'Huaisang saves the day by getting JGY to kill his dad sooner' concept: he keeps rigging the shit out of tarot readings #'san-geeeeee let me read for youuuu it's my new hobby!' #'wow I can't believe we got Seven of Swords reversed AGAIN! that's soooo wacky!' #'and the Hierophant reversed too! haha sooooo random! but hey as long as we're here' #'is there a hierarchy you're part of that's oppressing you in some way and maybe you should do some sneaky shit against it?' #'let's draw another card for clarity just for funsies... oh! King of Pentacles reversed!' #'hmmmmm san-ge do you know any rancid narcissists who are shady af and think money gives them absolute power?' #niche textpost content

[i-suck-sorry]

The tarot made it so clear.

#sad #hurt #never enough #pain #alone #lonely #regret #i miss you #broken #mistake #i need you #numb #empty #tarot reading #poetry #quote #poem #falling apart #save me #lost #i love you #spilled poem #spille ink