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#telepathic bond with a cat
lurafita · 1 month
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If Chairman Meow was Magnus' familiar and they had a telepathic bond
One morning in the kitchen. Chairman Meow sitting on top of the fridge, glaring.
Alec: "Magnus... Why is your cat looking at me like he wants to scratch my face off?"
Chairman Mewo: "I will do worse than that. I will bite off your toes and claw out your heart and desecrate your grave. Your ancestors will weep upon the carnage I will reap on you for the crime you have committed!"
Magnus: "Ignore him. He is just being grumpy because you stopped petting him yesterday."
Alec: "He sat on me for two hours. My hand was cramping!"
Chairman Meow: "You will never be save from my warth!"
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trumpkinhotboy · 2 months
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Little critters
Pairing: paul lahote x fem!reader
Type: requested
Warnings: nothing, pure fluff!!
Word count: approx 800
Requests: open! for twilight wolfpack, narnia and heartstopper
A/n: loved loved this request it's so cute and I think the vibes are adorable hehe seeing sam being so soft for emily🥺 so thank you again for this nice request I always love writing for you guys
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"Aren't you the most adorable little creatures I have ever seen?" "You're so cute. I want to keep you forever!"
Passersby probably took Emily and you for some deranged ladies when they saw you crouched in an alley, apparently talking to the ground.
But they couldn't see the adorable little balls of fur meowing back at you with impressive intelligence lighting their eyes. You were leaving the grocery store when you had heard plaintiff meowing sounds and discovered kittens shivering in an old cardboard box.
There was two of them, a fiery black one, who hissed when you first came close, and a grey one who immediately approached you, looking for pets. It had been 10 minutes, and since then, you had dug in your bags to give them water and food. By the way they devoured the bit of ham you gave them, you knew they had been there for a while.
"We can't leave them here," sighed Emily as she petted the black cat on her thighs. The grumpy cat had seemed to take a liking to her incredibly quickly.
"But where can we bring them? I'm scared if we leave them at the pound, they'll be forgotten," you pondered while delicately petting the gray head of the little critter bundled up in your lap.
As if you had just communicated telepathically, you and Emily looked up with a knowing light in your eyes.
Without having a plan, you brought the kittens back to Emily's to give them proper shelter and a long-awaited bath.
The four of you were now on the couch, extenuated after this eventful day. Junior and Paulie, the names you had settled on because of their resemblances with your boyfriends, were sprawled before the fire.
You had just started preparing dinner when you heard familiar howls from the forest. Seconds later, the seven members of the pack entered the cabin. Distracted by the smell of food, they didn't seem to notice the new presence of the two fur balls. Sam immediately headed for Emily to hug her and kiss her cheek. You smiled at the happy couple as you felt a pair of warm hands grab your hips. You smiled and melted into the muscular arms wrapped around your figure.
"Hey, you." "Hey," you answered, a smile in your voice. "What have you been up to?" he sweetly asked.
You tensed at his question, your eyes immediately finding Emily's. Through all your excitement, you didn't have a plan on how to tell seven werewolves you were planning on keeping two kittens.
"Well, actually, it's pretty funny," you started as you turned to face your boyfriend's suspicious expression. You tried delaying your explanation when you heard Seth's excited scream.
"Oh my god! Where do those kittens come from?! They're so adorable!!" he cooed before dropping on his tummy to try and pet them.
"Kittens?!" exclaimed Sam with a questioning look at Emily.
The pack gathered in the living room, observing the two cats, unbothered as ever, lying in front of the fire.
"We found them across the grocery store. We couldn't leave them there to fend for themselves!" explained Emily as she walked to little Sam Junior. The antisocial cat lifted a heavy eyelid at the disruption of his nap, only to meow and lift his head in search of pets when he noticed who it was. She grabbed the kitten in her hands, bringing him close to her chest with an adoring smile. The little beast softly purred in her arms. It was impossible to deny the special bond they already shared.
You looked at Sam with a glimmer of hope. The look he gave Emily as he saw how happy she was told you everything you needed to know.
"What's his name?" he asked with a defeated sigh as he neared the pair. The little kitten carefully sniffed his hand before allowing him to scratch his head.
"Actually," Emily looked at you with a conniving smile. "With his black fur and protective instinct, he made me think of you, I thought we could call him Sam Junior."
Your little crowd chuckled at the name and the resemblance between the two.
"Junior, eh? Sounds about right." He smiled softly. Whenever Emily was concerned, Sam was as docile as the cat in her arms.
Suddenly, a soft nudge on your shins surprised you. You looked down to realize it was the gray kitten. You felt your heart melt at the display of affection and lifted him carefully from the floor.
"Oh, don't even think about it," uttered Paul as he noticed how you looked at each other.
You pouted your lower lip, bringing the little kitten next to your cheek. "Please, please, please, please," you pleaded. "His name's Paulie," you added with a cheeky smile.
Your boyfriend looked at you with incredulous eyes.
"I see it, Paul. He looks like you," added Sam with a teasing grin and a lift of his shoulders, as if to say 'You know they've already won bud'
He stayed silent, observing your pouty face and the sleepy kitten in your arms. Before finally saying, "Werewolves with kittens?"
You gave him a little nod. "Yeah, I guess that can work," he conceded with a grin.
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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS - Sensual Connections Pt.2
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Pluto in the 8th house individuals need something raw and deep. They need to see you naked and im not talking about just taking off your clothes. When it comes to having a lover, need you to be on bored with wanting to connect vulnerably with them as this creates the most passionate sex/relationship there is. They'll take you deep to the underworld and back to earth, take you down to an ocean where its impossible to swim back up as your old self. You have to be willing to transform during this emotional act, because for them its more than sex. Its a portal to a new life.
Venus/Lilith individuals can and will be in a few relationships that are very taboo. They might be the ones to initiate these relationships first. These placements need lovers who will go the extra mile with them and will allow them to be themselves along the way. You cannot tame them, which makes their love a whole lot sweeter ;) There kink could be in beds where they come be the dominator. Or play the role as the submissive because who doesnt like a little cat & mouse ;) They need love that surrenders to the darkness of their soul, and releasing it as you both intertwine with each others shadow. They can show you a love that is raw, deep and penetrating and you probably leave a different person after being with them. Being with them is an adventure.
Sun/Neptune Venus/Neptune Individuals need a love like in the story books, Im talking candles in the room with rose petals everywhere. A love that feels like cupid just shot them in the back. They need to create a world for them and their lovers to exist in where no one can taint it. These are the type of lovers that would paint their lovers, or be the muse themselves.
Venus Scorpions need their lovers to feel every inch of them in their souls. They cannot have anyone who doesnt love them for them in their entirety. They need the good, bad, and the ugly when it comes to taking a leap further in all their sensual connections with their lovers. These scorpion babes need their lovers to be engulfed into their shadow, allow them to take in all of their nutrients as in the end it will make both of you stronger. Scorpion Venuses need you to obsess over them a little, may even want you to fight for their honor. This turns them on and lets them know that you truly wish to be their one & only.
Sun/Uranus individuals need someone whose different, and allows them to be different. Sun/Uranus people are always changing and they need someone who understand this. There love can grow stronger for you if you can take the journey of self-discovery with them. There kinks can go be a little different but their fun, Could be into the use of sex toys with their lovers because why nooooot ;)
Venus/Mercury Sun/Mercury Moon/Mercury individuals need an intellectual. Point blank period, a dead mind is a boring soul to them. They love to uncover the brains of their lovers as this is a turn on for them. Natural mind readers, they want a telepathic connection with their lovers. And want to be bonded with them were their is no secrets or no need to hide who they are. Need someone who sees the ins and outs of who they are, because their is so much that goes on inside of them that most people cant seem to notice.
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verysium · 5 months
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please write something about blue lock as cat dads, like we have cat and its batshit insane <3
my cat was furiously scratching at my bedroom door this morning, so i'm taking that as a sign to write this. here you go anon:
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rin owns a void. black fur with bluish green eyes and sharp little fangs. rin adopted him as an emotional support animal after sae left for spain. his name is kuro (黑) which means "black" in japanese because the itoshis are just unoriginal with all pet names. sometimes the cat camouflages with the furniture, but rin knows its habits too well to accidentally sit on him. they have an almost telepathic bond. kuro follows a very strict routine. feeding times are 7 in the morning before rin's football practice and 6 in the evening during dinner. he is calm and quiet most of the time but hisses whenever there are birds in the window. very shy around strangers. will curl his tail around rin's leg and peek out from time to time but does not have the courage to actually approach. sometimes if rin has free time, he takes kuro out to the park and lets him chase after the butterflies. kuro is also very intelligent. knows how to unlock doors, fetch the newspaper, and clean up after using the potty. sometimes spaces out when rin watches his horror movies at night. will blink at the screen owlishly. he's not very skittish when it comes to jumpscares. he just doesn't understand what's going on in the film. his favorite time of the year is during the holidays when rin goes back to kamakura to visit his parents. mama itoshi always sneaks kuro an extra fish bone.
oliver has a cat with heterochromia. his name is björn which is swedish for bear because he is a massive maine coon. flirts with all the tabby cats in his neighborhood and purrs loudly to show off. incredibly fluffy but sheds a lot. very strong physically. one time he moved oliver's entire closet because he did not like how it was blocking his cat door. secretly the leader of a cat gang, but oliver doesn't know. pretty chill most of the time and enjoys large family gatherings. multilingual because he can respond to commands in swedish, japanese, and german. he also knows a little bit of danish. oliver taught him a few tricks as a kitten. he can twirl around, roll over, and give high-fives. despite his large size, björk is very flexible and light on his feet. one time he got into the cookie jar on the top pantry shelf, and oliver's mom had to shoo him out.
shidou has an orange cat named ryu (竜) which is an alternative form of the kanji for "dragon" (龍). it is also adapted from the first character in his name "ryusei." his cat looks exactly like how mcdonald's sprite tastes. very spicy. does not sleep at night. his business hours are from three in the morning to whenever he passes out. drifts like a literal race car and makes vrooming sound effects. ryu took one whiff of catnip as a kitten and has never been the same since. all of his toys are shredded. prefers taking the head off first. you will find cotton stuffing everywhere. he destroyed the brand new cat bed shidou got for him, so now he's been downgraded to a cardboard box. ryu is prohibited from all open windows especially the ones with pull-down blinds because he once saw a squirrel and went absolutely feral. only eats raw meat and refuses to even touch dried kibble. sits beside shidou whenever he orders yukhoe from the local korean restaurant. feasts on all the scraps.
barou has a tuxedo cat. her name is mimi, and she is the sweetest cat in existence. claws are always trimmed. licks herself clean. unusually calm at the vet and groomer and is one of the few cats who actually enjoys baths. sometimes helps barou with cleaning by catching all the dust bunnies. his apartment is also insect-free thanks to her. she is, in fact, a baddie. the tomcat next door has tried to get her attention for over a year now, but she refuses to be swayed. he gave her a dead rat once, but mimi swatted it away before telling him he better start paying some bills and look somewhat hygienic before she even looked his way. the only man in her life is barou, and it will stay that way. mimi is also a polydactyl cat, so it looks like she's wearing white mittens. sometimes barou comes home from practice exhausted and collapses face first into bed, and mimi will crawl onto his back to knead his muscles for him.
nagi has a scottish fold. she has white fur and brown eyes, hence her name yuki which is japanese for "snow." she is very similar to nagi. lazy and sleeps all day. their favorite activity together is sunbathing. eats a lot but somehow still manages to stay in shape. she often sits upright like a human and kneads the fur on her tummy. as a kitten, she mirrored nagi's actions, so he got her a mini video game controller. it doesn't actually work, but she gets to press on the buttons whenever nagi is gaming. makes her feel very involved. scientists have also classified her as a liquid. she can get herself through every nook and cranny. even the two millimeter crack under the bedroom door. her favorite place in the house is her bed. has two fluffy blankets and a teddy bear. during winter, she moves her bed closer to the heater. has unofficial beef with choki because she tried to eat him once. ended up with spines in her mouth and never touched a houseplant after that. choki still has a giant missing chunk from where his arm was bitten off.
reo has a persian cat. her royal title is kana-hime because she is a spoiled princess. she has silky fur that smells like perennial roses. has an entire room to herself and a private chef. reo has like 3134736845 pictures of her on his phone. she is even included in the holiday cards and family portrait above the fireplace mantel. her collar is made of sterling silver with a diamond in the nameplate. very coquette. pink bows are her favorite. sensitive paws so reo customized a pair of small fur booties for her. clingy and has attachment issues (just like her owner.) sometimes goes on playdates with yuki. said playdates involve yuki just sitting there while kana-hime gives her a full body grooming session and makeover.
sae owns a siamese. light blue eyes and a dark patch of fur on her face and paws. she does not have a name because sae never formally adopted her. one morning he had gone to practice and returned to a mother and her kittens on his fire escape. sae did not keep the kittens, but unfortunately the mother was very persistent, so he let her stay. despite originally being a stray, she is very clean. always licking herself and sae's hands. not very picky but has a preference for seafood, specifically surume. very productive during the day. rearranges her bed and water bowl. scratches her post five to six times. takes a daily stroll on the rooftops of madrid. she doesn't have a collar, but somehow always manages to return safely to sae's window. has an almost sixth sense when it comes to his emotions. if she senses he is tired, she will hop onto his lap and force him to lay down and give her pets. if she sees that he is stressed, she rubs her head under his chin to calm him down. probably the only emotional attachment sae has had ever since he left japan.
kaiser has a norwegian forest cat. it has golden fur, dark stripes, and blue eyes. has a little mane around his neck, so he resembles a small lion. his name is klaus. basically a mini kaiser. preens in front of the mirror every morning alongside michael. prances around as if he owns the entire establishment. bullies other cats but is scared shitless in the presence of dogs (even chihuahuas). has a little habit of gently biting kaiser's finger. not enough to draw blood but enough to leave a little imprint from his fangs. it's his way of showing love. nuzzles against kaiser's neck tattoo when he picks klaus up. a very needy baby at night. cannot sleep well in any place that is not michael's bed. needs to be tucked in like a child with his stuffed animals and blankets. ends up sleeping on kaiser's face by the time the morning rolls around. has perfect loafs, as in 11/10 if it was a competition. side-eyes ness whenever he comes to visit. extremely judgmental to the point kaiser suspects klaus must have been a human in his past life. knows how to pose for photos and even tilts his head to capture a good angle.
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aohisworld · 27 days
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ENHYPEN & HER ! ✮⋆˙
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↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
Heeseung (희승) 𓆩⟡𓆪
HEESEUNG / AOHI = AOHEUNG ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (ow-hung)
AKA. = ‘hybe’s ace duo!’ - alt. violetz. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
silent listener! (aohi) + rambling nerd! (hee) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Heeseung was always the one who listened to everyone’s problems, if one of the boys were upset, or if two of his members argued, he was there to listen to both sides, and he was fine with that. Although, he does admit it felt a little lonely.
Aohi changed that for him. At the start, he felt weird at the thought of sharing his feelings. So he mostly rambled about nothing and everything to Aohi.
Aohi happily listened to Heeseung’s soft words and sudden thoughts that he would blurt out around her.
Heeseung and Aohi are both known as one of the maturer members of ENHYPEN, but as soon as they’re alone together they’re turned into giggling toddlers. (source: EN-log; Aohi Day.)
When they first met, Aohi and Heeseung was like a cat who didn’t like it’s new siblings. If Aohi ever tried to even come close to Heeseung, he’d swat her away.
Heeseung’s favourite thing to do with Aohi is play LoL. Aohi doesn’t fairly enjoy the game, partly because she’s more FPS based, but she likes to bond with Heeseung.
There’s a running joke that Aohi is the boyfriend between the two, Heeseung acting a bit of a babygirl around her.
For example: Aohi and Heeseung watching LoL streams and Aohi praises said streamer, and Heeseung will want some praises as well.
“bunny, me too right? I’m good at it too, right?” - que sigh, “yes, seungie, you too.”
Aohi’s favourite thing to do with Heeseung is sleep, it’s not uncommon to know that despite being the eldest, Heeseung’s the last to wake up between the boys, therefore, he’s the best pillow.
Aohi knows if she sleeps in Heeseung’s bed, the boys don’t have the heart to wake either of them, even if they were late.
“Aohi!— oh.. oh no.. she’s sleeping with Heeseung..” “wake her up then!” “But… :( they’re sleeping..” “SUNOO!”
shared fav foods: pizza.
favourite date: gaming cafe.
matching plushies: among us (purple and yellow).
best aoheung era: dark blood - bite me.
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⋆。°✩
Jay/Jeongseong (제이) 𓆩⟡𓆪
JAY / AOHI = JAOHI ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (jao-hee)
AKA. = ‘the marriage duo!’ - alt. parentz. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
motherly! (aohi) + fatherly! (jay) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Aohi and Jay kind of took on the parental role of the group, Aohi, despite being part of the maknae line, Aohi’s maturity puts her as one of the elders basically.
I think that’s one of the many things Jay admires about her. The way she’s able to take care of things and manage her time and emotions effortlessly.
They’re what you’d expect from a married couple honestly.
Their habits of watching whatever on the TV, or the way they seem to just communicate telepathically whenever they’re cooking in the kitchen together.
Jay thinks Aohi is an ideal person to be with long-term, he answered her as the most ideal person to marry. (A fan had asked during a fan meet.)
Jay’s favourite thing to do with Aohi is bake, there was more than enough times where Jay was actually able to have some childish fun.
The members remember well when Jay and Aohi were left in the dorms, and the kitchen looked like a mess, with icing everywhere on the two’s faces.
Aohi’s personality with Jay is like a doting wife, to her hard-working husband.
That’s probably why Jay’s saved as Hubby on her phone, and her saved as Wifey on the boy’s phone.
Their favourite inside joke, Jay slipped on some mix while they were making meringues for Sunoo’s birthday, and ever since then, “meringue boy” was Aohi’s nickname for Jay.
“chop chop, meringue boy.” — “Call me that again and I’ll stop making you food.” — “YOU CAN’T STARVE ME!”
Aohi’s favourite thing to do with Jay is go shopping, Jay and Ni-ki are, in her opinion, one of the best dressed and the best at finding outfits at shops.
“Jeongie, this look good?” — “looks perfect, batsy.”
the stylists adore jaohi because they’re the duo that they love matching together the most.
now the stylists have a schedule on when they get to style jaohi.
shared fav foods: pasta — specifically, carbonara.
favourite date: swimming in bangkok.
matching plushies: black cats (dressed repectively as their parents)
best jaohi era: baby shark promos.
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⋆。°✩
Jake/Jaeyun (제이크) 𓆩⟡𓆪
JAEYUN / AOHI = AOHYUN ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (ow-hyun)
AKA. = ‘the opposites duo!’ - alt. oppositez. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
black cat! (aohi) + golden retriever! (jake) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Jake and Aohi had the most difficult time period with getting along, like cats and dogs, you could say. (haha, pun.)
Aohi had a bit of a hard time getting used to Jake being affectionate towards her because before Aohi debuted she and Jake were the ones likely to argue all the time.
And it always resulted to Aohi winning. Think as in, Dog bothers cat so cat swats dog and Dog ends up whimpering away.
Although, Aohi (doesn’t like to admit it) does have a soft spot for Jake.
Jake sometimes has a hard time falling asleep and when he does, he goes to Aohi’s bed where they cuddle to sleep.
Jake tries to be affectionate with Aohi a lot because he does feel guilty for fighting with her all of the time during her pre-debut days.
Jake thinks that with him bothering her all of the time during pre-debut, Aohi probably had a harder time. So he tries to make it up to her, by basically doing everything for her.
Aohi does appreciate his gestures and knows he’s guilty of their past. Aohi tries to soothe his guilts to the best of her ability.
Jake is like Heeseung in a way, always wanting her eyes on him, if Heeseung buys her a cookie? He’ll buy a jar full of cookies, Sunghoon buys her a perfume? He’ll buy her favourite perfume.
basically, if anyone goes low, he goes lower.
Their favourite topic to talk about is basically pets, Aohi has two family pets, named Chewy and Mochi. Both cats.
Obviously Jake loves Layla, but he tends to bicker with Aohi because he likes the way her eyebrows furrow when she’s frustrated, he thinks it’s cute.
“I’m not saying cats are better than dogs, I think Layla is cute and you’re just putting words in my mouth!” — “nuh uh.” — “FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH???”
Jake’s favourite thing to do with Aohi is taking their pets for walks. Surprisingly Aohi’s pets are outdoor cats, and they enjoy taking walks with Layla.
Jake thinks that Aohi walking their pets is a very domestic task to do and basically adores it.
“Yah, Layla! Slow down! Yah, Sim Jaeyun! Help me control your daughter!” — “aigoo… she’s just happy to be walking with her sisters and mama.” — “JAKE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW.”
Jake practically has the biggest heart eyes for Aohi and Aohi doesn’t know how to deal with that.
shared fav foods: pad thai.
favourite date: dog park with Layla and the kitties.
matching plushies: pochaco and chococat.
best aohyun era: come 2 me, weverse-con performance.
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Sunghoon (성훈) 𓆩⟡𓆪
SUNGHOON / AOHI = HOONAOHI ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (hoon-ow-hee)
AKA. = ‘the ice duo!’ - alt. royaltiez. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
ice princess! (aohi) + ice prince! (sunghoon) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Visual overload, that’s what I’d call it, Aohi and Sunghoon bring the most visuals out of any event ever.
Engenes on Twitter love it so much in fact, that there’s threads of the outfits Aohi and Sunghoon have both worn matching.
Sunghoon and Aohi are the type of people to have silent conversations in a room full of people, enjoying each other’s silent gazes rather than speaking outwardly.
Despite their, rocky start (in rocky start I mean, Sunghoon was pretty much awkward with Aohi, pre-debut.) Aohi and Sunghoon are pretty funny together.
Sunghoon is actually the funniest member of Enhypen, and Aohi is his apprentice. Sunghoon loves to teach her his puns, it’s like their favourite thing to do.
Their victims mostly consist of Jungwon and Jay. The only difference is that they hate when Sunghoon does it but laughs when Aohi makes a joke.
The favouritism is so real, it’s crazy.
Aohi enjoys being around Sunghoon when she needs a break from talking or being social. They mostly don’t, but when it does get too much, Aohi seeks Sunghoon out.
Their favourite thing to do is definitely ice skate, she’s not better than Sunghoon, but she knows how to keep up with him.
Sunghoon and Aohi definitely have danced on the ice together, if not all the time.
“Oh my god, hoon, hoon! I’m gonna fall!” — “you’re literally dragging me down! Of course we’re gonna fall!”
Sunghoon loves when Aohi holds onto him on the ice, it makes him feel very loved and needed.
Aohi thinks his boyish charm is very adorable, and has no issue feeding into the boy’s satisfaction.
“Hoon-ah, want to eat grapes with me?” — “eung! let’s go, bunny.”
Aohi loves to dote on the boys a lot, mostly Ni-ki and Sunghoon though because— well, they’re the ones who got close to her first.
Sunghoon believes Aohi to be one of the best people to talk to, she’s very good at listening and he depends on her to listen when he and the boys fight.
shared fav foods: tiramisu.
favourite date: ice skating.
matching plushies: mini hoon and aohi plushies.
best hoonaohi era: manifesto promo era.
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⋆。°✩
Sunoo (선우) 𓆩⟡𓆪
SUNOO / AOHI = SUNAOHI ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (soon-ow-hee)
AKA. = ‘the fox duo’ - alt. foxez. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
sunshine protector! (aohi) + sunshine! (sunoo) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Now, new engenes tend to mistake ages a lot between Sunoo and Aohi, more people actually think Aohi is older than Sunoo!
Reason being is that, basically, Aohi acts like a bodyguard to Sunoo. She’s never not on Sunoo’s side, an arm around the boy’s shoulder like it’s some kind of avril lavigne song.
Behind the scenes though, Sunoo dotes on Aohi more than anyone in enhypen.
Sunoo and Aohi both definitely compliment each other in terms of personality, Sunoo has a bright mindset while Aohi has a more nightly perspective.
In other terms, Aohi and Sunoo complete each other as the Sun and the Moon.
Sunoo and Aohi also play a lot of video games with each other! Their favourite thing to play together is Animal crossing: New Horizons, they def have matching islands together as well.
Sunoo also appreciates Aohi a lot, Sunoo is the most prone to getting sick, and tends to stay home more often than any of the boys and Aohi loves keeping him company most days.
Sunoo thinks that Aohi is very caring, but It does worry him that she might be too caring about others that she forgets to take care of herself.
Sunoo’s favourite thing to do with Aohi is eat! If not for the way these two’s fox characteristics beat their love for food, their duo name would’ve been foodiez.
Aohi thinks that it’s adorable the way Sunoo looks like a hamster every time he eats, basically she gets cuteness aggression from his cheeks.
Aohi’s favourite moment of Sunoo’s was when it was late at night and he was supposed to be sleeping, but Aohi had caught him eating a food delivery he had gotten secretly.
Safe to say Sunoo had to share his food that night.
“Sunnie, you finished all of the radish!” — “yeah, well you finished all the sausages so we’re even.”
Aohi loves to bring Sunoo her food creations whenever she experiments, sometimes Sunoo does worry it’ll make him gain much but he can’t really deny Aohi now can he.
“Oppa, it’s just a muffin! It won’t do much!” — “Aohi…” — “please! I won’t bake anything for you after this!” — “Yah! I didn’t say you shouldn’t!”
Aohi and Sunoo also love to gossip a lot, heck, the boys have scolded them one too many times for being too loud at night.
If not for Xiulin who takes Aohi’s spot as her partner in crime, Sunoo would definitely be runner up.
Sunoo’s and Aohi’s most well known crime/prank would be when Aohi purposely took the wrong gate at the airport to leave from, so everyone thought she wasn’t on the plane to begin with.
shared fav foods: mint chocolate ice cream.
favourite date: garden picnic.
matching plushies: fox plushes, dressed respectively of each other.
best sunaohi era: orange blood promo era.
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Jungwon (정원) 𓆩⟡𓆪
JUNGWON / AOHI = AOHWON ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (ow-won)
AKA. = ‘the lead duo’ - alt. leadz. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
nonchalant! (aohi) + devoted! (jungwon) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Jungwon and Aohi was similar to that of Jake and Aohi, Jungwon was mostly frustrated since he took on the leader role at such a young age.
He believed that with Xiulin and Aohi into the mix was just even more stressful, and he was only a kid with too many responsibilities.
Jungwon and Aohi did talk about their shortcomings as members to each other, ending up where they were now.
Now, Aohi and Jungwon was very much friends, until of course, the promotions during the manifesto album.
Jungwon was very adamant with pursuing Aohi despite her unsure feelings (because at the time, Sunoo and Ni-ki were already in pursuit of her, and she knew.)
Despite this, Jungwon pursued Aohi anyways, leaving the girl with no choice but to let Jungwon court her. (She was secretly enjoying it, what’s a girl to do when getting pampered?)
Aohi and Jungwon are very easily the most girlfriend-boyfriend out of the whole duo. Both being born in the same year, and working like they merged into one person.
If Jungwon was the leader, then Aohi is definitely what follows after Jungwon.
The two are very strict with each other and the group, always wanting to be on their best behaviour. Very hypocritical of them because they always do the weirdest lives.
As in, eating every type of ice cream at three am in the morning lives. Yes, Aohi and Jungwon deliberately went to a convenience store and bought every type of ice cream there was.
Aohi got sick that day, and Jungwon felt so guilty he literally banned ice cream for a week after she got better.
Aohi and Jungwon’s favourite thing to do is go live, if that’s not surprising. Engene’s favourite live duo, because you’re either messing around with Jungwon or bothering other with Jungwon.
“jakey jakey, let’s go wake him.” — “GOOD IDEA. Why don’t we like… idk pinch him awake.” — “we’re not that evil.” — “OR ARE WE????”
Jungwon’s very heart eyes for Aohi, he thinks she’s the most brilliant person in the whole entire world, Aohi, of course thinks the same, she loves his mischievous behaviour.
Aohi also loves to teach Jungwon English. She finds his aggressive English adorable, and she knows it’s a bit of a struggle to speak it because of Korean and English syllables and consonants clashing with each other.
“You kind of have to say sss, like a snake, instead of shh, because that way it won’t sound weird,” — “like.. seal?” — “yeah! Like that!”
To be fair, Aohi does teach most of the guys English, but Jungwon (and Sunghoon) Are the ones who go to her the most, I mean, Jay and Jake, sure they speak English, but they do troll with them most of the time.
Aohi’s guaranteed to teach them without the jokes and memes.
Aohi admires Jungwon’s ability to be a leader, and it’s what draws Aohi to Jungwon easily.
All in all, Jungwon’s a very devoted person to Aohi, while Aohi is the same for Jungwon, she’s just more shy about it.
shared fav food: grape tanghulu.
favourite date: convenience store runs.
matching plushies: milk and mocha bears.
best aohwon era: manifesto world tour.
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Ni-ki (니키) 𓆩⟡𓆪
NI-KI / AOHI = NAOHI ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (now-hee)
AKA. = ‘the gaming duo’ - alt. gamerz. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
gamer girl! (aohi) + skater boy! (ni-ki) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Aohi’s favourite.
But the boys don’t know that!
Okay, she actually doesn’t have favourites, but she goes the softest for Ni-ki, because, well, He was the first person to ever befriend her. (during her pre-debut days of course.)
Ri-ki’s never once fought with Aohi during their pre-debut and Aohi’s obviously going to baby Ri-ki because he is the maknae.
Ri-ki actually dislikes Aohi’s babying (as in, too frequently, babying him.)
Ri-ki prefers babying Aohi despite her being his noona.
His favourite thing to do? Collect plushies with Aohi, if Aohi has it, chances are Ri-ki has a matching one. Ri-ki treats them like his babies.
Ri-ki and Aohi spend most of their time window shopping plushies actually. Their current buy list consist of genshin plushies (in which Aohi forced Ri-ki to play) and some few Enhypen themed ones.
Aohi is very thankful that Ri-ki indulges in her childish purchases because it makes her relieved that Ri-ki wouldn’t judge her for buying things to heal her inner child.
Aohi and Ri-ki are also very prone to gaming together, usually it’s them and Sunoo, and Aohi mostly plays valorant with the two.
It’s surprising how good Ri-ki and Sunoo actually are at FPS games. Currently, their ranks are Ri-ki - High-Ascendant, Aohi - Immortal, Sunoo - Low Diamond.
Sunoo doesn’t play as much as the two evil twins do, but when he does, he plays pretty much better than diamonds do. (Only because he’s got Immortals and Ascendants teaching him.)
“YAH! RI-KI YAH! I TOLD YOU TO COVER ME!” — “I WAS LITERALLY FIGHTING HOOKAH.” — “you’re so poopoo..” — “hey, watch your language, I’m top-fragging missus immortal rank.”
When they aren’t being competitive though, they like to enjoy minecraft! Aohi has.. maybe one or more times burnt or exploded or drowned half of Ri-ki’s house.
Ri-ki and Aohi are actually ChromeHearts ambassadors, if not for Hoon and Jay, Ri-ki would be one of the most likely to be paired in a photoshoot with Aohi.
Aohi’s favourite thing to do with Ri-ki? Dance. She tries her best to help with Ri-ki’s dancing, always making up new things or joining Ri-ki whenever he wants to do a dance on tiktok.
Although dancing isn’t her strong suit, she still loves to do it!
“And then, maybe it could go like this- and then yeah!” — “wait you’re so smart I love that dance line.” — “right?” — “i’m so happy you’re my girlfriend.” — “okay relax mister smooth talk.”
Aohi loves to be childish around Ri-ki because she knows that Ri-ki will join her, and it gives her a break from being mature in front of many.
fav shared foods: hotteok/mochi.
favourite date: cat cafes.
matching plushies: duck + bat-based enhypen plushies.
best naohi era: orange blood - kalpa photoshoot.
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Xiulin (쓰린) 𓆩⟡𓆪
XIULIN / AOHI = XIUHI ! ⋆。𖦹°‧★ (zhu-hee)
AKA. = ‘the rockstar duo!’ - alt. rockstarz. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
DYNAMIC’’
culprit! (aohi) + accomplice! (xiulin) ⋆。˚𖦹
HCS!
Aohi’s favourite favourite!
No, but really, she’s the favourite.
Xiulin and Aohi were the first to band together during pre-debut. They shared each other’s memories and experiences together.
Xiulin, despite being somewhat of an older sister figure to Aohi, likes to bicker a lot with the boys. Xiulin knows of their relationship and is one-hundred percent supportive! At some points…
Xiulin is very protective of Aohi because of well, their pre-debut. Aohi and Xiulin were pretty much cast aside because the boys had a hard time letting them into the group.
No matter though, Xiulin just likes to bully them because they know if there’s one person who gets most of Aohi’s time, it’s Xiulin.
Xiulin and Aohi are like two peas in a pod, if Aohi commits a crime, Xiulin is there with her.
Aohi’s whole thing with Xiulin is that she reminds her a lot of her older sister figures in XG, and that’s why Aohi likes to stick to Xiulin a lot more than any of the other boys.
Aohi and Xiulin are kind of like, each other’s opposites, yet equals. Despite Aohi’s tendency to lead after Jungwon, that’s just it for her, she follows the leader.
Xiulin is there to guide Aohi if Jungwon isn’t, and that eases Aohi’s heart.
Xiulin’s favourite thing to do with Aohi is play guitar together, Aohi didn’t actually know how to play the guitar until during the manifesto process.
Xiulin and Aohi would stay up together, just learning the stupidest riffs (like the SpongeBob theme) and laugh about it until their manager would bust them for staying up too late.
Aohi, absolutely adores Xiulin with all her heart, the boys believe she’s never looked at someone with such admiration before.
“Ah oppa! Xiulin-noona said, not to eat snacks before dinner..” — “Aohi, baby, you know Xiulin is younger than me…” — “Jake-hyung…” — “Ah.. okay, don’t call me hyung..”
Aohi’s favourite thing to do with Xiulin is paint together, Aohi’s an artistic spirit at heart, and sometimes that’s what she wants to do with her free time.
Although the boys join her from time to time, that doesn’t mean she’s really keen on letting them.
Sometimes painting time can be girl time, and with seven boyfriends? It’s definitely needed after a while.
“Gosh, you know Seungie-oppa? He keeps eating my chips! He won’t even buy them for me, he just sends me the money for it and is like ‘ sorry :9’ Like, that’s so rude!” — “Drop him for the day, bad boyfriend of the week!” — “you’re right!”
Aohi and Xiulin go hand in hand together, continuing to somehow… create chaos for their staff members and managers.
Aohi hopes to introduce Xiulin to her XG sisters one day.
A secret Xiulin holds is that she actually did like Aohi at one point, but ended up never pursuing her because well.. (let’s just say there was seven obstacles in the way.)
shared fav foods: Yema Cake.
favourite date (platonically): amusement park.
matching plushies: White tiger + orange tiger based plushies (hoshi would be jealous.)
best xiuhi era: orange blood - ksana photoshoot.
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chiropterancreed · 4 months
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more vulcan headcanons: biology edition
vulcan eyes have a tapetum lucidum, just like an earth cat's. their reflective nature allows them to have nearly perfect night vision, able to use even the smallest amounts of light to see in the dark.
vulcan pupils are round in low light, but in bright light, they become vertical - just like earth domestic cats.
vulcans have sharp canine teeth. their upper and lower canines as well as the pre-molars are sharper than the rest. this is a remnant from their feline ancestors they evolved from (instead of the primate ancestors of humans).
vulcan infants aren't as helpless as human infants. they are born with the ability to sit, hold their own heads up, as well as lift themselves on their arms. at three months, they are able to crawl and emote as well as a human six to eight month olds. this is due to the harsh and dangerous environment of their planet and the need to adapt quickly for survival.
vulcan infants don't cry, as they have the ability to communicate telepathically upon being born. they are able to transfer their needs through the telepathic bond they have with their parents. the bond is a simple one at first, until the child is able to communicate verbally. instead of complete thought, sensation and emotion is sent through the bond.
due to their feline ancestors, vulcans have the ability to purr and make other sub-harmonic vocalizations.
vulcans also have thicker, stronger nails. most vulcans keep their nails trimmed, mostly due to cultural and hygienic reasons (the same reasons humans tend to trim their nails) if they are allowed to grow out, they can easily become claws.
if a mated pair have sex regularly, pon farr becomes non-fatal. by meeting those needs regularly, the suppressed emotions become more easily to deal with.
if one partner enters pon farr, the bond can assist the suffering partner by influencing their bondmate into their own cycle. this could be considered a false, sympathetic version of the pon farr that ensures that the suffering vulcan doesn't die.
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dear-buttercup · 5 months
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Okay, okay, hear me out:
Spy x Family AU, except Marinette is Loid & Adrien is Yor.
Marinette & Loid both have this alternate self that is very calculative & has the urge to plan out every possible outcome of a situation so they're not caught off guard. Not to mention that both of them have this very strong sense of justice and, each in their own way, are trying to make the world around them a better & safer place. However, both of them also have this other side that is gentle and kind and, essentially, a softy (though this shows more in Marinette bc, well, she hasn't been through the things Loid has been).
Then we have Adrien, who, like Yor, is outwardly sweet & cheerful and doesn't have a clue what to do with Life (TM). But he also has a dark & deadly side, which makes him absolutely consider dirtying his hands if he thought he was protecting the ppl he loves (*cough* derrision *cough*). I can totally see him become an assassin if it was the only thing he could do to protect his loved ones & bring food to the table, esp if he was taught to do that from a young age.
Also, some of my other headcanons for this AU (and pls beware of possible spoilers for sxf if u aren't caught up or want to watch):
- Emma would be Anya, obv, and like Anya, she has telepathic powers and can read her parents' minds. (Side note: I was considering making Emma a creation of the peacock miraculous & for that to be the reason she has her telepathy powers, but then I realized the miraculous existing in this AU might not make much sense, so I'm putting it on the backburner. If anybody wants to explore that, though, be my guest!)
- The plushy u see in Emma's hands in my drawing is Tikki, which is the equivalent of Mr. Chimera in the anime (however, alternatively, The Handler could be Tikki & in turn, The Shopkeeper could be Plagg. But going with my initial idea...)
- The cat in the picture, then, would be Plagg, who is the equivalent of Bond. However, unlike Bond, Plagg is a little shit & he knows it & therefore gives Marinette a lot of grief. But he's very cute when he wants to be, and Emma is very set on keeping him, so Marinette resorts to silent psychological warfare with him. Surprisingly, Plagg is pretty chill when it comes to Adrien to everyone's surprise.
- Just like Bond, Plagg also has psychic powers. However, I can just see him hissing in annoyance everytime a vision pops up. :D
- Adrien is secretly an assassin who exterminates traitors with his special dagger(s) that he calls 'Cataclysm'.
- Marinette is a spy who is tasked with getting close to her target, Chloe Bourgeois. She has a customized gun that she prefers to use that she calls her 'lucky charm'.
- Also, the same as the anime, Marinette's agent name is 'Ladybug' & Adrien's is 'Chat Noir'.
- Chloe is Marinette's target (I know Desmond & Gabriel are crazy similar, but I think it'd be pretty weird to have Gabe & Adrien in the same universe & for them to not be related).
- Chloe has 2 children: a twin son & daughter who r attending the same prestigious school. The daughter (which I haven't chosen a name for) is the equivalent of Becky & the son (which I also don't know the name of) is the equivalent of Damian.
- Chloe's daughter lives with her father (who I imagine is Luka bc it's a guilty ship of mine, but eh), but she also pays for her child support and education, so her daughter was raised like a princess and therefore has the same princess tendencies as Becky.
- Chloe's son is still pretty much the same as Damian, so not much to add there. (Yes, exactly like Damian. If you know, you know :) )
- Lastly, I will leave you with this out of pocket notion: Felix as Yuri and Kagami as Fiona (and yes, I very much ship them, even in this AU :) )
Here are the individual characters separately as a treat for making it till here!
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xxstraymoonchildxx · 4 months
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This Couple is Unusual
Prev. / Next
Chapter 2 This Couple, investigating
cw: bad humor, graphic description of a corpse in the second half
You didn’t know who looked more perplexed. Satan or the, admittedly handsome stranger with the pitch-back hair.  They still stared at each other, both bent down to touch the felines, it was almost comical. Slowly they stood up, both with a kitten in hand. Satan cleared his throat. The other person did the same. They eyed each other for a long moment, the felines meowing and tugging at their dress pants begging for attention. It reminded you of Mammon and Asmo.
“I did not expect to run into another person with a love for cats,” the stranger said while bowling politely with a practiced smile on his lips.
“Likewise. Well, there is much to appreciate about them obviously.”
You weren't sure but it looked like they were bonding telepathically. 
/Is this the beginning of a new romance?/
Whatever it was that was happening in this non-verbal dialogue, it was cut short quickly.
"Sebastian, what are you doing?!”
A small person a few feet away appeared out of nowhere, a scowl on his young face. He couldn't be much older than twelve or thirteen. It was obvious that he tried to appear more mature from his fashion choice - a top hat and high-heeled shoes and in his hand a walking cane like the other gentlemen walking around the area. 
He clicked his tongue, watching the cats with disdain. The blue shade and style of his hair reminded you of Belphegor’s and he had the youngest sibling-energy around him to match; now you couldn't unsee it (It would be funny if he had a twin). 
“Please excuse me, it was my pleasure, Sir. Farewell.”
“I apologize for the wait, young master.”
“Tch, let's hurry already.”
“That was weird. But they kinda remind me of some people I know,” you deadpanned, watching the duo with the interesting dynamic leave until they vanished between buildings. 
Satan checked into the hotel. Not that you weren’t capable of doing it yourself but you had to follow the customs in this era whether you liked it or not.
It did come with a bonus. Satan was in uncharacteristically high spirits from the moment you stepped into the hotel room together. Unbeknownst to you he was happy that he could spend this and the coming nights with you, in the same bed, without having to worry that one of his brothers would barge in, demanding time with you - and way too kind you, usually folding. 
You readied yourself for bed, longing to sink into the mattress from this exciting day but first you had to shower -  technically you’d have to do with a sponge bath but luckily you were a sorceress and had the right spells on hand to do the trick, courtesy of Asmodeus. Satan helped you with your dress, opening the back for you. The outer material pooled at your feet. “This dress sure has many layers,” you couldn't help but complain as you stepped over the striped dress, untying the padded bustle from around your hip, shaking off the thin petticoat and the corset cover. Satan watched you twiddling with the lacing of your corset while walking into the bathroom. He respectfully looked away, pulling out his nightwear, a dark blue pajama.
In the modest bathroom, you dropped the rest of your undergarments “Spirit of water and wind, I, the sorcerer y/n command thou to clean and dry my earthly vessel.” 
After everything was done, you changed into a simple tank top and a pair of satin shorts and handed the bathroom over to Satan, who joined you in bed fifteen minutes later. 
There the two of you lay, snuggled up together with you tucked under his arm and him with a book in hand for you to read.
Wasn't all this wonderfully domestic?
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The next day 
Bold letters hung above the entrance door, spelling the word “Undertaker” and a skull on top of the sign.
You decided to visit him after getting an approval letter from Scotland Yard. The wine did wonders! Anyway, the funeral parlor looked very interesting from the outside! On the right two anthracite coffins and three sotoba - you had to ask Satan what those even were - were leaning against the brick wall. On the left were two tombstones and a flag leaning against one of them. The cobwebs were a nice detail, too. /Guess you need to stand out from the competition/
A little bell jingled when you stepped inside. It was dark and it took a moment for your eyes to adjust. The candle chandelier didn't do much to illuminate the place. Satan didn't have this problem, his bluish-green eyes observing the unfamiliar room.
Coffins were standing around, even the counter was a massive exemplar. Large shelves with various bottles and jars containing questionable items crosses on the wall, skulls, and a human skeleton in the back. The place had cobwebs inside and out and needed a good dusting. 
Not that he was any better with his room back in the House of Lamentation but at least it was squeaky clean.
“Hehehe”
The coffin on your left suddenly squeaked open. A set of dark long nails tapped the wood, pushing the lid to the side. 
“What a nice surprise, customers in the making!” the man said in a squeaky voice, giggling like a madman. An interesting entrance for sure. As unique as the person itself. A crooked top hat sat on top of long silver hair, the bangs hid his eyes, leaving only the lower part visible which displayed a wide, crazed smile and a prominent scar running from his cheeks up and over his nose. 
With swift steps he glided over the floor, stopping himself just right in front of Satan, leaning in. “What brings you to me, care for a test lay in one of my first-rate coffins? We have a pair, brand new~ Care for a fitting?” Irritation oozed from the blond, so you decided to step in. “Excuse us, Mister...eh” His head snapped towards you, still grinning “Undertaker~”
“Yeah, I can see that?”
“Hehe, no, that's my name,” he slyly boobed your nose with his long index finger or rather his nail. Asmo would love to paint them. 
“Oh, like a pseudonym for an artist. Noted.”
Undertaker twirled around, the long black coat fluttered along with his movement and the mourning lockets around his waist clicked together. “Artist! Oh my, how flattering! It sure is, preparing my guests for their most important day.”
“So?” the funeral director drawled out, propping himself up against the counter and crossing his legs. (You noticed the slight shift in his demeanor, planting the thought inside your head that he looked kind of cool when he didn’t act like a weirdo). Satan cleared his throat “My name is Holmes and this is my wife. We are journalists from America and have permission to write about the Whitechapel murders in all their detail. We were informed you are in charge to autopsied the victims”
His wife. You blushed. 
You did talk about playing a married couple while undercover but hearing the term from his mouth and addressing you made your head all fuzzy while Satan felt pride swelling in his chest that rivaled Lucifer's. 
Undertaker hummed like he already knew about you. “It will cost you,” he grinned.
“How much?” Satan was ready to pick out his wallet but Undertaker beat him to it. In the blink of an eye, he dashed forward, halting close to Satan’s face. “I don’t desire the queen’s coins. What I want is…” 
A dramatic pause.
“...a Joke. Make me laugh~”
/This human is unreal-/ Satan’s left eye twitched. 
“Well, they do say ‘A kingdom for a joke’” you chirped in while Satan gave you a side eye. Undertaker giggled excitedly, plopping down on one of the coffins. You raised your hand as if in class. “Let me try!”
You took a moment to ponder over your options, searching for a joke that wasn’t too modern. 
“A man and his son are driving past a graveyard. Suddenly the son leans forward asking “Do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”
Surprised the father said “Of course not! Why ask such a question?” His son replied “Well, I read a gravestone that said “Here lies a lawyer and an honest man”
Silence. Satan sweatdropped. 
You were worried for a moment, thinking /Maybe I should have told the orphan/ graveyard joke/
“BWAHAHAHA”
To your surprise, the silver-haired director threw his body back, maniacal laughter blasting through the building. He held his belly, kicking his feet like a child. He laughed for two minutes straight, without taking a breather until he finally calmed down, sitting himself up properly and rubbing his eyes with the long sleeves of his coat. 
“Wonderful,” he quaked “Consider the payment done. My newest guest just arrived today and I was about to start the autopsy before you came in” 
Undertaker hopped down from his coffin and with the movement of his finger, he ordered you silently to follow him down the stairs.  
A disgusting smell of blood, disinfectants, and death hung in the cold air and instantly hit your nose. It smelled disgusting and you were glad you skipped breakfast this morning. Satan was less affected, the lucky demon! The reason for the stink was lying on two metal tables each, partly covered by an old linen cloth. Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes were the recent victims of Jack the Ripper as the silver-haired man informed the two of you. 
“I must warn you, this is not for the faint heart” Undertaker warned but nevertheless guided you towards Eddowes, carefully petting her hair peaking out from under the fabric “This one was not as lucky as her friend over there” 
“How so?” Satan asked, confused as both women were dead after all. 
With a knowing smile, Undertaker pulled away the cloth over Catherine's body, showing you all the gruesome work of her murderer. Thank whatever deity that you skipped the breakfast. The intestines had been stuffed back messily into her body, perhaps for the transportation of the corpse, and her throat had been slashed open. Her eyes were wide open from horror, having faced the killer just upon her death and mutilated nearly into unrecognition. 
“The killer slashed both victim's throats first, but this one was mangled much worse,” Undertaker explained, amused by your ever-changing facial reactions to the unsightly sight. “The killer was perhaps disturbed and searched for the next victim, finishing their work on dear Catherine here~ She was found with her intestines hanged over her shoulder, so they could reach for something else” He pointed towards her uterus, or rather where it should have been “My guest isn’t a whole woman anymore to add to the insult of dying in their own puddle of blood. The left kidney is missing as well, a minor detail but might be important as well.”     
/This is disgusting af/ you tried to stop breathing the foul odor in, holding a tissue to your nose. How Satan, who was deep in thought, was able to handle it was beyond you. “The kidney taken could mean the killer was involved with organ trafficking but the uterus? Very unusual…” He said it more to himself than anyone. “But the unsub very likely has experience in the medical field. They must be right-handed judging by their slashing movement”
“You refer to the killer as ‘they’, Mr. Undertaker,” you chimed in “The Yard and the public usually address Jack the Ripper with a male pronoun. Do you think the culprit could be a woman?”
The mortician hummed “That is a possibility yes, although they prefer poison, well, judging by my usual patronage.” 
“Nevertheless, the unsub most likely has personal feelings towards prostitutes in general. The victims have done something to anger the killer, the uterus and kidney are most likely some sort of trophy, usual for serial killers. As you said, the uterus is exclusively female and the kidney has significance in several cultures. In Egypt, for example, they were left in mummies because they connected the kidney with judgment and moral decisions. In Hebrew, it was understood as the seat of emotion together with the heart and bowl. And during medieval times they were regarded as the seat of our conscience. Fascinating.”
/Satan - Google, who?/
Undertaker regarded the blond with a cheeky smile “You sure are a smart one, Mr. Holmes. Interesting deduction.” 
You beamed, proud of your husband. If Undertaker looked closely, he could see the hearts floating above your head. 
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“We thank you for your time, Mr. Undertaker” You curtsied politely, glad you finally left the mortuary, which bad smell hopefully didn’t stick onto your clothes and hair. “It was my pleasure. I hope you’ll tell me another joke one day.”
Satan deadpanned (He loved you, but those dad jokes…)
“Oh, I have one for free. Wanna hear?”
“What do you call it when an orphan visits a graveyard?” 
“Oh, please tell me~”
“A family reunion” 
Silence. 
/Too offensive?/
A chime of a little bell forced all of your attention to the entrance door. The young boy from the day before stepped inside forcefully, the man dressed in black from head to toe by his side. “Are you here, Undertaker!?”
You were not sure that the funeral director started to roar with laughter just because of your joke.
What an unusual man, that Undertaker.
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Sorry for the long wait. Hope you like it.
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romirola · 9 months
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Balancing Act: A Redactedverse Fanfic (Chapter 1/18)
READ CHAPTER 1 OF BALANCING ACT ON AO3!
Summary:
Rating: T; WC: ~75K over 18 chapters
Note and Thank You Shoutouts: It’s here. It’s here! IT’S HERE! The Redactedverse power swap fic is finally here and ready to share with you all! I’ve been steadily working on this fic for months, barely able to contain myself as I shared the occasional snippet on Tumblr. I can’t tell you how much joy it brings me to contribute this long labor of love to the fandom. Before I kick things off, I want to give some special shoutouts to the wonderful people who let me incorporate their creativity into this story: @claracatlady, for Bob, William’s spoiled ragdoll cat; @pinksparkl, for suggesting Anaia be a panther shifter; @floofdeloop, for Asher’s surname “O’Connell” and his parents’ names, Ciaran and Áine; @frenchiefitzhere, for use of the Dahlia Academy for Magical Novices Alma-Mater Song; @gwenifred , for use of the character, Dani; @palilious, for use of the character, Manu; @itsdaifuku for letting me adapt this art into a textual moment; and @pycth for Zephyr, Lasko’s and his partner’s pet blue jay. Check out their amazing work if you haven’t already. Another thank you to everyone who showed support and excitement for this story during my months of writing it. One last deep and heartfelt thank you to anyone who chooses to read this story. I truly hope you enjoy. As always, any and all feedback is welcome and encouraged.
As requested, I’m tagging @starlitangels, @shellssstuff, @thegoldenlittlerose, and @halscafe in posting updates of this story. Would you like to be alerted when Balancing Act is updated? Please let me know and I’ll be happy to add you to the list. 
Looking for more info about this fic? Find a list of characters and tags at the above AO3 link or below the cut. Still have questions? Feel free to reach out to me! Ready to read? Then let’s go, because there is a lot of story to tell...
Characters: David, Angel, Asher, Babe, Milo, Sweetheart, Darling, Sam, Cutie, Huxley, Marie Greer, William Solaire, Starlight, Lasko, Damien, Geordi, Freelancer, Aaron, Gabe Shaw, Colm Greer, Aggro
Tags: Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Love, Support, Trust, Communication, Friendship, Fluff, Banter, Suspense, Action, Adventure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Mates in Love, Relationship Growth, Memories, Healing, Character Growth, Happy Ending, Power Swap, Vernal Equinox, Exchange Ritual, Unempowered David, Shifter Angel, Smol-Wolf Asher, Vampire Babe, Big-Wolf Milo, Telepath Sweetheart, Unempowered Sam, Earth-Elemental Darling, D.U.M.P. is a Toxic Workplace, Vampire Discrimination, Negative Self-Talk, Consensual Trancing, Consensual Blood Drinking, Rival Pegasus Shifter Group, Mate Bond, Child Stealth, Magneto-Energetic Attack, Humor, Bonfire, All Listener Characters are Gender Neutral, Pack Anniversary Party, Pack Dynamics, Pack Bonding, Adult Language, Humor, Bonfire
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gaybroons · 13 days
Note
28 + swaymark!!!
28. forehead touches or nose nudging or any soft variation on the theme
prompts!
Bonk
Swaymark, catboy goalie AU
—-
“Why do cats headbutt people?” Charlie wonders out loud, voicing what everyone is thinking as the scene in front of them unfolds.
Jeremy is— well, there’s no other way to describe it, he’s sitting in Linus’ lap, answering media questions as the other goalie rubs his nose and whiskers against the side of his face. It’s a regular occurrence at this point, having two catboy goalies is a guarantee for some weird shit happening in the locker room.
“—the boys were doing great in front of the net considering— well,” he laughs, and they can’t tell if it’s from Linus’ ears flickering in his face or from remembering the chaotic mayhem in the first period. “Considering everything that happened. It makes my job easier.”
“Head bunting,” Charlie— the other Charlie, Coyle— reads from Jake’s phone. “Cats engage in this behavior to help create a colony scent.” On the other side of the room, Jeremy is cheekily flicking his tail in front of the camera lens, acting as if he’s unaware of what he’s doing. Linus bonks their heads gently, an endeared smile drawn on his face. “During this process, they are using some of their scent glands, which are located in their cheeks, lips, forehead, flanks, paw pads and tail, to leave their scent on you or another object.”
“Scent glands? So like, sweat?” It’s a valid question to ask— it is! He doesn’t know why Coyle smacks him. “What!”
“This scent comes from their pheromones—which we can’t smell, but is clear to themselves and other cats.” He continues, reading from the page as Jake scrolls down. “It’s an affectionate gesture.”
The media people filter out, reluctantly, ushered away. Charlie gets it, really, no one wants to miss seeing a catboy bonding session, but they’ve overstayed their welcome.
Jeremy turns around, now face to face with Linus, makes a delighted mrrrp sound as he kisses his temple, the top of his head, nuzzles against his soft, fluffy ears. He, in turn, pushes his faces under Linus’s jaw, spreading his pheromones, Charlie thinks. He wonders if the whole team smells like they belong to Jeremy and Linus, considering how often they’re head butting people. He doesn’t think he’d mind.
Jeremy and Linus turn to each other in sync, like they’ve been telepathically communicating—at this point they might as well be— and move in like they’re about to kiss. Instead, they bump their noses against each other and jump, startled, yet go back in for a second touch— then a third and a fourth. Are they sniffing each other? Or is this a new catboy thing Charlie is too human to know about? Is this like a cat kiss? A kitty kiss? What is this?
Either way, they’re enjoying it, evident by their pleased prrrts and mrrrps and the swishing of their tails back and forth.
God, Charlie really, really wants to touch it. Linus’ tail looks so soft, so fluffy, it must be like touching a cloud.
Linus catches his eye and smiles conspiratorially, and Charlie instantly feels seen, exposed, and wonders again if catboys can read people’s minds.
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emeraldtart · 8 months
Text
Gold Watcher! Yuu
The third level of the Nightmare Realm, Deadly Decadence. It is a level tailored specifically for those who values wealth above all. Those died in greed are coated in the gold and wealth they loved so much. Yuu is no different. They are one of the youngest Gold Watchers, but they are still lethal nonetheless.
Lord Malak had ordered them and their family to chase after the mortal going after their ring piece. As Yuu raise their axe, preparing to deal the killing blow as their siblings cornered the mortal, a neighing sound pierced the eternal night.
`There aren't supposed to be horses here,' was the last thing they thought before getting hit by a horse-pulled carriage.
They heard their siblings cried out to them in their telepathic bond, and heard the thud of the mortal's body and the smell of copper as their blood was spilt by a spike trap.
At least Lord Malak will be pleased.
He blinks a couple of time, and before he knew it the statue was gone.
Arrival
Grim opened the coffin and almost got flattened by a golden statue wearing the ceremonial robe.
Yuu ran all over the school, trying to find out where in the Nightmare Realms are they.
They ended up in the library, and when Grim arrived they immediately stop moving.
Crowley came to a cat monster trying to tear the ceremonial robe off a statue.
When he diverts his gaze to Grim, he heard a heavy step and saw that the statue had moved from a salute to a wave.
"A-Are you alive!?"
When there's no response, Crowley did his signature thinking pose and close his eyes, thinking what the hell just happen.
"Myah! It moved again!"
The statue moved from a wave to handing a piece of paper to Crowley.
It says, "I can't move if you look at me. Close your eyes or divert your gaze. Then we'll talk,"
So Crowley did. He even grabs Grim (in his Rope of Love) and turns around, their backs facing the statue.
And they hear a voice.
They tell them their name is Yuu, and asks Crowley where they are.
Crowley tells them they're in Night Raven College, and urges them to follow him and also to watch for their familiar.
To which Yuu replies that they can't, because if someone sees them they'll freeze in place. It's not an option, it's an unfortunate curse that traitorous witch (Bierce) had put to make things 'fair' between the monsters and the mortals that came to their realm.
Crowley can't remove the curse, but he can modify it. He changes the condition for Yuu standing still from 'being within line of sight' to 'making direct eye contact'.
So Yuu, who tries their best to just look at the floor, go to the hall with Grim and Crowley.
When the time comes for the Dark Mirror to sort them, it says something very concerning.
"A soul full of greed, coated in the gold that was loved so much. Your time had passed, your body had long perished, and yet you still remains here in front of us all. A soul filled with greed for all things, there are no dorms that can fit such huge desires, so this soul belongs to no dorm,"
So that was concerning. Wait, does that mean this student is technically dead!?
Grim, upon hearing this demands that Yuu gives the robe to him.
Chaos ensues and when Crowley asks someone to stop Grim, Yuu threw their axes.
Yes, axes. They take it from somewhere and they didn't stop. It wasn't until Grim was completely surrounded by golden axes that they finally stop.
Azul is looking at the axes with an incomprehensible face. Are those axes made of real gold?
Crowley can't send Yuu back because their home isn't in this world, so they have to stay at Ramshackle for a while.
It was a total downgrade from the manor they used to live in, and it's also made off wood. Yuu is a bit scared to climb the stairs, they fear the floorboards might not be able to support their weight.
Luckily, it did. But the creaking increases their anxiety, so they might need to find some wooden planks and replace it first chance they got.
Grim comes in and they battle the ghosts. Yuu is technically a 'ghost', having already died and the current form is just what they gain after arriving to Deadly Decadance. So their axes can do damage to the ghosts.
After Crowley checks in, they got promoted from guest to janitor.
Crowley expected some complaints since they're dressed like an aristocrat, but they didn't.
Most monsters spend their time cleaning their respective Realm and made some adjustment to their it. I mean, how often is it for an average human to get past the monkeys, Agatha and Lord Malak?
Dwarf's Mine
Yuu doesn't sleep. They spend their night cleaning what they can. They don't know how to deal with the plumbing and electricity. The ones in the manor never had such problems, weirdly enough.
Their first task is to clean the Statue of The Seven and the area surrounding it.
Yuu half expected the statues to move and talk, like they did. They didn't.
As they wondered who the statue was made in the image of, Ace appears and explains who they all are.
The moment Ace made fun of them, they decided to make fun of him in return.
All it takes was one. Single. Blink.
They moved behind Ace and taps his shoulder. When he turns around.
He came face-to-face with a wide, open mouth and an axe raised above.
Yuu started to laugh like mad after Ace fell over from shock. Ace asks them for a fight to which they refuse. So Grim takes over because Ace called him a raccoon.
Their fight ends with them charring the Queen of Hearts statue.
The trio ends up having to clean every single window in school.
Yuu obviously can't climb a ladder and clean the upper windows, because, you know, their weight.
They realise that Ace is gone and tracks him down using telepathy. Where they find out that he is leaving them and Grim to do all the cleaning. They also heard Ace's mind dissing them, so they grab Grim to find and drag that card soldier.
They ran into Deuce, and after a chase Deuce ended up throwing Yuu (which takes a lot more effort because gold) towards the chandelier.
So now they need to get that magic stone or its expulsion.
Yuu sees Ace, Deuce and Grim arguing which almost leads to them getting killed and decided that they need to intervene.
They went back to the dwarf's house for a strategy meeting.
They told them to work together.
Grim: Don't tell me what to do, henchman!
Yuu:... What did you call me?
Grim: You're my henchman, obviously.
So Yuu briefly turned into their nightmare mode and destroys the table and the floor in one swing.
After a few seconds of horrified silence, Yuu turns back into their regular form and acts like nothing happened.
Let's just say that the three's braincells are permanently shared from that point on.
Since Yuu is the fastest, they'll get the magic stone. The other three needs to work together to distract the miner.
It works, but when Yuu gets back the miner notices what Yuu has in their hand and went to get it, pickaxe in hand.
Only for it to get chopped clean in half by a golden axe.
Ace: Wait, you can defeat that miner in one swing? Why didn't you do it before!?
Yuu: I forgot.
They definitely didn't.
They get the stone back to Crowley, and now Yuu and Grim's position is promoted to students (prefect for Yuu) of NRC.
That night, Yuu wonders how the other Gold Watchers are faring.
Bonus: The other Gold Watchers are planning to raid Bierce's dimension because they think she's responsible for taking one of them. Malak and Mama Bear are scared by their determination.
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witchofthesouls · 1 year
Note
I rarely see any TFP Soundwave love here, let’s fix that shall we?
TFP Soundwave developing an obsession for the Autobots new human, a girl with hacking abilities so good she has best Soundwave at his own game of my than one occasion, is unable to read her mind despite him being telepathic, and has saved and cared from Laserbeak due to outside forces without the Autobots knowing.
*Soundwave, tilting his head to the side with a question mark popping up on his visor: “Query: (Y/N); prime mommy material?”
Cause let’s me honest, you’d get the hots too if a chick smaller and daintier than you kicked your ass on more than one occasion and cared for your kid despite being enemies.
(In total agreement. I love me some TFP!SW and this is most likely a slight crossover with Elsewhere University or a Magic!AU since you earned a boon to shield yourself from mental abilities.)
You’re difficult to locate and it’s galling. 
Unlike the other Autobot pets, taken and secluded away by their guards and shielded base, you actually have a life outside of them, and it seems that you have no set ‘bot for some meager protection.
Instead of an easy target to snatch away -so eye-catching with that ridiculously bright-green hoodie with flopping audials- Soundwave digs and digs and digs for your whereabouts…
And you’re not there. The most he could find was your birth records, a few newspaper scans of the sparkling-equivalent of basic education, and then you drop from the face of the planet after high school. You reappear after five years and hop across the world with no rhyme or rhythm and at an impossible speed with the current technology on Earth.
Annoyance turns into begrudging respect for your efficient work. You have a talent for finding even the most inconsequential recordings of their presence and you cleanly wipe away the evidence.
If anything you do break the monotony of his work, especially with the little notes of “Better luck next time, Slenderman” or sad cat memes replacing the conspiracy posts of Cybertronian presence on Earth…
And then, Laserbeak completely disappears for a week without a hint of her status. No activity. No locator. Not even a life signal.
Soundwave searched everywhere. Remaining at the consoles, letting the massive amount of data flow into his systems, and refining his queries. When that amounted to nothing, he locked his hydraulics and set himself into the Nemesis itself, supplying his frame from the ship’s flow, overriding his own filtration because needed its power. He has to know. There must be absolute proof. He cannot stare into the ceiling of an empty room and do nothing but scramble after hope-
When Laserbeak suddenly reappeared, Soundwave disconnected from the warship and checked himself into Knock Out’s care, dismissing the accumulated complaints because he still had done all the necessary work and more during his locked state.
He weighed the necessary systems flush for the accumulated slag and joint stress as an acceptable tradeoff.
“Aren’t you a lucky girl? Count your stars that I do actually have standards, pretty bird.” In the memory loop, he feels the ghost of your touch, gentle and searching as you repair the damaged circuitry and clamp the sparking wires. A gloved hand resting upon the still wing and he can feel the phantom of your own biochemistry. Unique in its chaotic not-patterns and near-repetitive beats that clash and reform and clash again.
And you were right. Laserbeak was truly lucky that the shot didn’t stray to the left and the compromised seams. Otherwise, she would be gone as well. Laserbeak pings her active status over the bond as if she’s not currently docked on him.
“Sorry, birdy, you gotta stay like this.” Beneath the tease, there are apologetic notes as you keep Laserbeak immobilized by unknown means. In an off-placed mirror, he sees the outline of dark goggles and a facemask underneath that absurd hoodie, the screens of monitors, a toolbox, and, of all the things, Energon crystals.
“And tell your master that there’s no point coming here. I’ll be long gone and elsewhere.” 
Something in your tone spoke of a private inside joke.
And true to your word, the suburban dwelling used to treat her is completely empty. It stands empty and unoccupied and without a trace of your once presence. Not even the security cameras, both public and private, could find one hint of a person living there. Only the vehicle with darkly-tinted windows drove and entered the garage, the doors closed without anyone stepping out.
And you purposely leave that hint.
That car -the very one used to transport Laserbeak -was found abandoned and hollowed out by fire, erasing physical evidence of yourself and her.
:: ‘Tor. I like that one. :: Laserbeak hums with a pulse of warmth. Not quite affection, but close enough.
His lips twitch to a near smile beneath the visor as it traces the digital records of the license plate. It leads to a second-hand purchase by a dead human. 
He’s starting to like you, too.
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grigori77 · 11 days
Text
Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 91
A long episode with an ominous title ... yeah, this can't bode well at all ...
Sam's a cat again. Great ... oh, Taliesin's a mouse? Of course he is. This is more like it ... Travis is loving this already ... ah, short but sweet, definitely ... oh yeah, I totally agree with Ashley, massive Donnie Darko vibes ... XD
Liam: "I want Sam and Tal to reenact that scene from The Shining." Um ... okay? O.O
So, picking up right where we left off, then ... chaos, and LOTS of craziness, with VERY heavy implications ...
Oh, so Liliana is HUNTING, now? For them in particular? Or just ... ANYTHING? Hmmm ...
Yes, SHUSH, Pate! You're REALLY loud right now ...
Chetney-wolf: "Hold onto my tail! Tighter!" Stop it, Travis ... XD
This is going to be a complicated getaway, clearly ...
PANIC!!! Great ... how long is it gonna be before they get spotted? CAN THEY get away from this?
Mystics? Crap ... "a Murder of Mystics" ... yeah ...
A little on-the-run healing and repair work ...
Balls, good point ... yeah, they have NO IDEA where they are or where they're going ... and now Ashley's cocking dice all over the place ... O.O
Oh, this can't be good ...mystical shenanigans ... FUCK!!! Invisibility is now GONE!!! Shit! Oh this is SO FUCKING BAD ...
PLEASE don't tell me they just lost their Telepathic Bond too ... oh for the love of the GODS, Matthew, you cruel bastard ... NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!!
Hide! Just fucking HIDE, people!
Wow ... Taliesin rolled amazing, but Sam and Ashley rolled BALLS on Stealth ... that's so bad ... oh shit, and now they've got GLoamglut RIGHT ABOVE THEM!!! Ouch ... does it see them? Oh no, Fearne, PLEASE do not try to PET the fucking thing!
Marisha: "There are no dumb ideas in D&D!" Are you SERIOUS? OF COURSE there are!
AAAAAAAAAND now they're blown ... good one, Fearne! Now they're coming down ...
Ashton, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing? Oh, that's right, HE IS still in his powered state ... 32 points of damage on the wall? Holy fuck ... oh yeah, that's just a FANTASTIC distraction/escape ... nice! Just run. RUN!!!
Another wall? Oh yeah ... BOOM!!! Ashton's just a demolition MACHINE right now ...
NOW he's knocking down a building they're not even going into ... bit overly much for cover, isn't it? Jeeze, Ashton ... STOP ENCOURAGING THIS, Matthew!
Oh yeah, they're TOTALLY broadcasting their location now ...
Seriously, just HIDE while you got cover, seriously ...
Crap, Dex saves for the three of them? O.O ... oh hell, what's that fucking Fay dragon gonna do? Darkfire? Oh hell ... whoa, 16 points is HALF damage? Ow ...
Oh, NOW Imogen's casting Invisibility? Yes, do that ...
Evoroa gives directions ... yes, good move ... do that now!
Quart mile away? No, HALF of that? Hmmm ...
Back to the panicked chase ... RUN RUN RUN!!!
Can they fit through that? Ashton's going under, apparently ... just SQUEEZE guys ... yeah, shquish in those fantastic tits and that luscious butt, Fearne! Crap, it's coming again! I hate that fucking dragon!
Oh wow, the Sorrowlord speaks! He knows she's here! Crap!
Pass Without a Trace! Finally!
Fearne: "Do we need to cut off your wheels?" FCG: "127 hours!" Cue sawblade startup whir ...
Wow, Zathuda is actually MONOLOGUING ... Fearne: "Can you say all that again?" LOL ...
Fungus? Great ... Annihilation? Cool ...
"Pussy in Bio"? Nice flask nonsense this time, Samuel ...
PEG IT!!! Once it's clear, anyway ...
Polymorph, yes ... a "moon thing"? Hmmmm ... so she turns FCG into a Slither ... okay ... and then she Wildshapes into one too ... okay, get tunneling guys!
Ah, yes ... where ARE THEY going?
A Survival roll? Oh boy ... 28? Nice one, Ashley! Heading back towards their exit, then ...
And so back to the others ...
A Wisdom save IMMEDIATELY? Fuck, Matthew ... 15? Hmm ... wait, THAT'S not good enough? Shit! O.O
Laudna: "You're not like a sleeper agent, are you?" No, really, please don't even put that karma OUT THERE!
The Sprawl Grotto? Cool ...
Yeah, they don't know WHERE they're going right now ...
Bronze fountain! OKay ... oh hell, what's THIS shit?
And now they're very effectively TRAPPED. Great ... is this them SPECIFICALLY, or just general? Oh, it's DEFINITELY for them ... not good ...
SHIT!!! LIliana is now RIGHT ABOVE THEM ... "Did ... you ... KNOW?!!!"
Is Imogen REALLY gonna try and bluff this? Wow ...
Oh, so she has been THROUGH IT ...
The locket? Oooooh ... O.O
Can she talk her down? Get through to her somehow? COME ON ... Persuasion roll? Oh boy ... 16? Whoa ... um ... is that enough?
Wait ... DID THAT just work?
Yeah, just RUN ...
Oh, for fuck's sake ... NOW what? Damn it, more mystics? Crap ... oh yeah, they're proper BUSTED ... crap, this is the ACTUAL Weave Mind?
Oh, so this MIGHT be an illusion? Hmmm ...
Hold on, are they doing something to Chet? Crazy werewolf shit? Crap ... and Travis totally fails that save ... O.O ... bollocks, this is so bad ... Sam: "Quick! Distract them with a toy!"
Liam: "If we keep making these jokes for 30 minutes we won't have to deal with this problem!" LOL
Orym is choosing NOW to invoke Nana Morri ... oh boy ...
What just happened?
Nothing immediately around, but they're in the area ... just GO. Right now, just FUCKING GO. RIGHT NOW.
Back to the Burrowers ...
It's oh so quiet ... that CANNOT be good ... yeah, just BOOK IT ... nuts, more mystics ...
Oh, they FOUND THEM? Okay ... yeah, just FOLLOW THEM!!! Quick!
Going up? Yes, seems the smart way to go.
Yeah, they DO NOT speak Slither ... aaaaand they're finally back together ... in the most ridiculous way possible ... XD
Yeah, sending a merssage to the Volition would probably be the smart move right now ... maybe they could send somebody to find you ...
So, where to go now?
Imogen Sends to Rashinna ... so the safehouse is out ... hmmm ... so they're just going to have to find alternative digs ...
OOh ... yeah, do that! A giant mole sounds so cool ... like that one in City of Ember! O.O That'd be sweet ...
FCG's still a Slither? Oh boy ...
Crap! What's this? Oh no, what the fuck ... PLEASE don't be fucking Otohan! No ... NO!!! Fuck ... that bitch is SO FUCKING CLOSE now ... hell ... JUST RUN, guys!
Ashton pops up out the ground and SMACKS THE ROOF OF THE TUNNEL with his hammer once they're through ... smart and sweet ... oh fuck ... you mean he COULD collapse the whole thing? Thankfully not ... phew!
Bollocks, Otohan is COMING!!! Fuck ...
RUN!!! JUST FUCKING RUN!!!
Crap ... SHE'S FOUND THEM!!! They're in deep shit ... AND NOW he chooses to call a break? Seriously? Matthew!
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ... and now he's producing a Battlemap ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Cut Wizzkids plug! Also FUCK!!!
Fuck me ... is the rest of this episode JUST gonna be combat? Gods no ... I'm not ready for this ...
ROLL INITIATIVE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
So ... Orym's up first ... he slips between her leags and turns round to attack her fancy backpack ... OKAY!!! A Crit! Go, wee man! 38 points of damage! Yeah! Another hit! Yeah! ANOTHER Crit! Sweet! 25 points ... anmd she's Hexed too ... nice ...
Legendry Action? Crap ... Telekinetic Control? Fuck ... and even with Indomitable Orym can't resist it ... she flings him like a ragdoll! Ouch!
Laudna unleashes her Hellhoud because she is FURIOUS right now! Yeah ... FCG names the pooch Caviar? Cute ... now she Banes Otohan ... goody!
Otohan dashes off ... giving the Hellhound an attack of opportunity ... which fails ... crap! She attacks Chetney ... oof ... 27 points of slashing damage! Ow! Plus the Psionic knocks him prone ... another 16 points with additional Force? Argh ... and another 13 plus 9 more ... AND another hit? 13 plus 10! Fuck ... he is BARELY alive now ... O.O
fuck, and she has ANOTHER attack with an offhand weapon? Fuck ... ACTION SURGE?!!! Matthew NO!!! PLEASE don't do this! Silvery Barbs from Laudna ... which fails? Shit! Fuck ... and now he's OUT!!! She keeps hitting him, 2 IMMEDIATE Death Saves ... argh ...
Fuyck ... she just straight MURDERED him ... LAST WORDS? What the fuck?
Sweet fuck ... CHETNEY'S FUCKING DEAD?!!! Are you serious, Matt?
Now she's going after Fearne? FUCK!!! No ... and now SHE'S on the ground too ... fuck!
Ashton pops up out of the ground RIGHT IN FRONT of Fearne to block the coming attack ... he swings at her with the hammer ... "Gosh, you got a punchable fucking face!" 23 points of damage and he knocks her back HARD ... Density Well? OKay ... he batters a nearby platform and knockd it RIGHT ONTO HER ... YES!!! She sort of dodges so it's just a glancing hit ... he's monochrome now ...
Otohan rushes Imogen ...
Fearne is FURIOUS about Chetney as she flames on like the Human Torch! Nice! Oh, nice fiery Fearne mini, Matt! O.O She comes in right behind the bitch ...
Oh, so Otohan's like doing MONK SHIT? Fuck ...
FCG goes to Chetney's corpse and casts Revivify at 7th Level ... please ... please please PLEASE let this work ... come on, Changebringer! Come thorugh in clutch ... please ... YES!!! THE WOLFMAN IS ALIVE AGAIN!!! Thank fuck ...
Caviar! Attack! Kill this bitch, you wonderful Hellhoud! 19 MISSES? Seriously? Fuck ...
Otohan attacks Imogen ... 14 points of Force damage ... she gets knocked BACK but not down, at least ...
Imogen Telkinetically grabs the backpack and tries to tear it right off her ... oh wow ... and it WORKS!!! Oh yes! Let's go! She pounds it into the ceiling and smashes it to fuck! BEAUTIFUL!!! She grabs her hand and casdts Shocking Grasp ... go go go ... 14 points of damage! Yes!
Orym Misty Steps to her and pulls a Bat & Switch with Imogen, then takes a swing ... NAT20!!! YEAH!!! 23 points of slashing damage! Then 14 points! A Crit! 28 points! VENGEANCE!!! YES!!! Go wee man!
Laudna drops a 5th Level Blight on the bitch ... oh fuck, Legendary RESISTANCE? Damn it ... whoa ... 51 damage? Even halved that is SWEET ... Eldritch Blast! Yeah! Hit! Hit! And another hit! SWEET!!! 13 damage, then 15, then another 15! YEAH!!!
Now Otohan goes for Imogen again? Oh for fuck's sake ... thankfully she fails miserably ... second hits though ... ouch ... Orym to the rescue! Nice defence! And Silvery Barbs from Laudna! Yes ...
She keeps going for Imogen ... she is just POURING the hurt on ... and now she's going for Orym? Hmmm ...
Three way attack of opportunity? Fearne CRITS IT!!! Nice! 16 damage! Yeah ... Orym gbets another 22 on her ...
Now she goes for Laudna ... just hits her Mirror instead ... and the second ... and the third ... but then gets her with a CRIT!!! Oof ... 14 slashing and 12 Force damage ... ow ... and she's knocked down ...
Chetney shakes off the rust ... as he flanks he Misty Steps to Imogen and pours a healt potion into her for 12 points back, then slopes back away to safety ...
Ashton powers up as close as he can to Otohan, then holds until she gets into range ...
Otohan uses anothe Legendary Action to attack Laudna ... 10 points of slahsing damage and 18 of Force ... ow ...
Fearne casts 6th Level Blight on her ... gah, only half? 39, down to 18 ... fuck's sake ... it's STARTING to take a toll, but still ...
She's going for Laudna AGAIN?!!! Fuck ...
FCG rolls towards Orym, then pulls a mass Cure Wounds on everyone. ALL OF THEM get 23 points back except himself ...
Caviar attacks again and it's another miss ... crap!
Imogen gets up AGAIN and hurls a Psychic Lance at her ... a Nat20 on her save? Are you FUCKING KIDDING? Argh ... 30 points halved to 15 ... nuts ... so so tries to Telekinetically Push her towards Ashton ... but it fails ... crap ...
Orym tries to jump on top of her and slash down into her ... it hits! Yeah! 9 points, then a Crit ... 18! Third misses, though ... then he backs off to give Ashton room to attack ... she gets an attack of opportunity ... OUCH!!! 16 slashing and 10 Force damage ... shit ...
Why does she KEEP attacking Laudna?
Destroy this bitch, Laudna! HUnger of the Shadow Shard? Oh sweet ... wait ... WHAT? That doesn't work? COME ON, Matthew! Argh ... so she Quickens a 5th Level Hunger ... which HITS ... 48 damage on this bitch! Yeah ...
Oh, she's FLARING? Fuck ... Exultant's Fury? Double fuck ...
But now she's been pulled into Ashton's Gravity Well and he attacks ... 23 plus 2 of fire damage! POW!!!
But now it's HER turn ... she goes for Ashton ... and hits him ... ow ... twice ... AND ANOTHER? Fucking hell ... I can't believe he's still up ... wait, he has Erratic Defence? Okay ... so he slams her right into the wall! Nice ...
She retreats ... and attack Imogen while she does it? Fuck ... Imogens's knocked down ... AND she gets an Action Surge? What? FCG takes half of the damage, BARELY saving her from going out right there ... second hit takes her out, though ... FUCK!!! Now she's going for Chetney instead ...
FUCK ME, CHetney's out AGAIN?!!! Un-fucking-FAIR!!!
Now she's going for FCG ...
Top of the round ... come on Ashton ... he charges her flat out while charging up ... Nat20 on the first hit! Yes! Chaos Burst ... 64 points of damage in a single hit? Wow ... how is she STILL UP?
Otohan goes for FCG ...
Fearne pulls Scorching Rays on her ... fuck ... that doesn't work out HALF as well as we'd expect ... wait, she's FIRE RESISTANT? FUCK!!!
She attacks Letters ... and he's OUT!!! Fuck! Death save ... 19 ... oh thank fuck ...
Wow ... Caviar is just COMPLETELY BALLS on this fight, isn't he?
Imogen Crits her Death Save ... SHE'S AWAKE again! Oh thank fuck ...
Orym picks himself up and draws Seedling, using it to pull himself to Ashton, bouncing off him to attack her ... first attack misses ... second hits ... 12 slashing damage ... next hits ... eight damage ...
Laudna casts Wither & Bloom at 3rd Level to get FCG up again ... spends a sorcery point to quicken qnd pours 12 Necrotic damage points into Otohan ... quckens again, pours an Eldritch Blast into her ... two hits one miss ... 16 damage altogether, halved to 8 ... oof ...
Otohan goes for Orym ... fuck, she is just KILLING It tonight and I hate it ... Orym is BARELY UP right now ... wait ... where the fuck ... she just DRANK A SUPERIOR HEALING POTION?!!! Son of a bitch! 66 POINTS BACK?!!! Fucking hell ...
Chetney succeeds his second Death save ...
Legendary attack on Fearne ... gods fucking DAMN IT ...
Ashton attacks ... first hit is a CRIT!!! 46 points of damage! Yeah ... next hit is a miss? Fuck ... what, is that ALL he can do? Shit ...
She hits him right back ... FUCK!!!
Fearne casts Aura of Life ... it helps, i guess ... zand there's NOTHING ELSE she can do ... O.O
Otohan hits HER ... nasty hit ... but she's got Armour of Agathys, so she burns her right back ... but Aura of Life is GONE ... fuck ... as if she NEVER cast it ...
FCG flips his coin and asks "Run or fight?" Hmmmm ... it lands on its side? Interesting ... so he casts a mass Cure Wounds ... 23 points back to everybody but Fearne ... and now his mood has turned RED?!!! Fucking hell ... so he's gone berserk again ...
Caviar tanks YET ANOTHER FUCKING ATTACK ... oh my GODS why is the Hellhound even OUT?
Imogen casts Sending to her mother ... REALLY?!!! Fucking hell ... and she's COMING?!!! Wow ... mothering instinct is STRONG. Otherwise there is NOTHING she can do right now ... so she's just gonna continue to play dead? Nuts ...
Orym is in shitty condition but pushes through ... makes an attack, small hit ... he's barely hanging in on this fight ... fuck ... so he downs a potion on the bonus action? Okay ...
Laudna casts Phantasmal Force to make Otohan see Liliana coming in to FUCK HER UP?!!! Wow ... and the bitch RESISTS IT ... shit ... that was almost so cool ... so she just Eldritch Blasts her instead ... a hit and a Crit ... 7 on the hit ... she Empowers the Crit ... 11 altogether ... not spectacular but it chips away at her ...
She attacks Orym ... and he's DOWN ... FUCK!!! Next on Fearne ... Shield protects her! Yes! So she goes for Ashton instead ... now an Action Surge on him too? Fucking hell ... and he's ALMOST down except that he's RAGING so he keeps 1 hit point ... fuck ... but her next takes HIM down too ... FUCKING HELL!!!
She attacks Imogen while she's down ... Deception Check? OMG ... barely makes it through ...
Is there ANYTHING Chetney can do? He pulls out Turmoil and casts Shatter ... 19 points of Thunder damage ... and that's all he wrote ... fuck ...
Now she attacks FCG ...
Fearne cuts her off and inflicts 48 points of damage on her ...
She attacks FCG again ... he is BARELY alive at this point and completely insane right now ...
FCG casts Guiding Bolt ... on HIMSELF?!!! Fucking hell ... what the fuck is he DOING? He's self-destructing? What the hell, Sam? Oh, this sounds SO BAD ... is this genuinely going to DESTROY him if he does this?
Oh my gods he is genuinely making a fucking MEAL out of this self-sacrifice ...
Fuck me ... is Matt CRYING? Wow ... whoa ... EVERYBODY IS LENDING HIM DICE to do this ... O.O ... what the epic FUCK, Sam? Oh my fuck that is A LOT of rolls ...
79 damage ...
Sam's description of FCG's death is BEAUTIFUL in the most heartbreaking way possible ... his eyes go white again? Oh my fucking gods ...
Otohan is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ... holy fuck, she is DEAD ... and so is Letters ... oh my fucking gods I don't believe it ... what the fuck, Samuel?
Holy shit, the whole table is just IN SHOCK right now ...
Just like the rest of the party ... slowly they start to pick themselves and each other up ... those who are down are nursedc back enough to get them on their feet ...
IS THERE anything left of FCG? Ashton finds the coin ... Chetney collects Otohan's backpack ...
They throw what's left of Otohan in the Hole.
Ashton POUNDS an exit into the wall with his fists. They're on the surface again ... and here comes Liliana ... she can already tell they just lost someone ...
So is she with THEM now?
That's it for the night ...
Fuck ... we're all exhausted and completely devastated and SO FUCKING SAD ... oh my gods ... seriously though, NOW what?
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harmonie-writes · 1 year
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Endless Sol pt. 1
Poly dragon!Ateez x fem! reader
Warnings: mentions or nudity, language, mentions of death, potential violence.
AN: italics are telepathic bonds and thoughts. This takes place when the boys and YN are around the age of 13/14. Wyrm is a type of legless and wingless dragon.
If you enjoy my work, please consider reblogging as tumblr is based on reblogs and not likes. (The likes are appreciated, though).
Word count: ~1.8k
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»»————- ➴ ————-««
Previously on Endless Sol:
"Well then," Izar announces right before shifting, "Let's head home."
Five dragons take off from Thelea heading West towards the Mountains of Altair, and perched on the back of the Izar, is Seonghwa holding the small bird made of sol.
»»————- ➴ ————-««
To say that the Dragonborn people of Altair had any inkling of how to raise a young phoenix would be an understatement. They had no clue it would be worse than raising their own hatchlings.
Sure, both young ones stayed in the shifted form for a couple of months and had issues controlling their fire, but at least the baby dragons only had small hiccups of fire ever leave their snouts. They had no idea that reborn phoenix hatchlings have a tendency to light themselves on fire. And for the record, no, no one was hurt since fire isn't so much of an issue to the Dragonborn people of Altair, but many of their houses and huts have had some remodels done in the last few months.
They were also quick to learn that their warming stones weren't enough, and you would periodically begin to freeze unless you were brought back to Thelea for a week's time every month for six months.
During those six months, the four young dragons that found you would always travel with you when you had to go back to Thelea. Izar and Amia had a sneaking suspicion of the boys' attachment to you, but remained silent on the issue and let them grow their relationship with you slowly, even if you couldn't speak in common yet.
»»————- ➴ ————-««
It was the morning of the seventh month and you were waking up on the last day of your visit to Thelea. It's in the midst of stretching your arms and legs that you freeze in your spot. Bringing a hand to rest in front of your face you wiggle your fingers, and a small furrow appears in your brow.
This is my third rebirth, you think to yourself as you sit up to take in your surroundings. You're laying by one of the lava pools just passed the foot bridge south of town. The second thing you note are the four scaley beasts that have created some sort of make shift perimeter around you and the pool. The third and last thing you note is your lack of clothes.
A harsh huff of air leaves your nose as you try to figure out how to cover yourself. Deciding that the best way to go about finding coverage would be to sneak past the snoring reptiles that double as your guards.
Shakily, you start rising to your feet, much like a newborn deer, and you can't help the way your lips pull into a sneer. Oh, how embarrassing it is to have to relearn the basics of being in your human body again.
The sound of a tail dragging across gravel has you freezing in your place. Legs shaking and arms covering your upper body do you carefully look in the direction and notice a single, large yellow eye with thin slits staring at you.
You can almost see the scaled brows furrow on the gold dragon's head before a look of realization dawns on him, pupils returning to normal.
Stretching almost cat-like, the gold dragon pads over to you carefully before leaning down to sniff the top of your head, as if to confirm his suspicions.
In the next moment, a tall boy with wheat colored hair is standing in front of you with his shirt extended out to you. You're not entirely sure of what enchantment they have on their clothes but you're positive he was wearing that when you left Altair, and now it's in his extended hand without even being removed.
Shakily you take the shirt from him and slide it over your head. It's long enough to reach about mid thigh and you feel a little bit better now that you're covered but you still give it a small tug hoping it would cover more.
When you look up at him you can see a smile stretching across his features and you can't help the one that graces yours.
Clearing your throat you finally speak, "Yunho?"
If his smile wasn't bright before then it's shining now, even if your voice is a little rough from disuse.
"Hello there, little Sol," he greets, pulling you in for a hug.
Your body sags in relief as some of the pressure of standing is taken off your legs, and you enjoy the warmth that radiates off Yunho. It only takes a small moment of realization before you pull your head back slightly to look up at him.
"My name is YN."
Yunho repeats your name and you can't help the warm feeling that overtakes you, and you wish he'd say it again.
Although the moment is short lived as the ice wyvern closest to the lava pool blinks slowly at the two of you, before huffing out steam from his snout. It's not long before you feel a wave of cold hit you and you are greeted by another boy with snow white hair.
"Well, if it isn't our resident fire starter," Yeosang grumbles, voice still thick with sleep but you can hear the smile in his voice.
"Oh, shut it, you wyrm," you can't help but stick your tongue out at him.
Yeosang gives your hand a small squeeze, which you return, and goes to wake up the two eldest dragons.
You peek over Yunho's shoulder and see the crimson dragon swats lightly at Yeosang and the black dragon tucks his head beneath one of his wings.
You can't help the laugh that slips past your lips and it causes both dragons to snap their heads up in your direction, pupils dilating as they rest on your form.
It happens so quickly. The remaining two dragons are stumbling to you mid shift and you're being scooped out of Yunho’s arms and into two different pairs.
"So, this is what our little sunspot looks like," Hongjoong hummed, finally stepping back to let you breathe.
Seonghwa is slow to remove himself from you, the same way he was when he first carried you out of the burnt hut.
"So," you rock on your heels slightly, "Do you guys have any questions for me? Since I know pretty much everything about you guys."
The boys share a look before looking back at you, and notice you're making yourself comfortable on a rock. Shrugging they follow suit before they bombard you with questions.
"So, how old are you?" Hongjoong asks, one hand propping up his chin with his elbow on his knee.
You tilt your head back as you watch the sun bleed into the purple night sky. Finally, with a hum you direct your focus back to the fiery dragon in front of you.
"I'm fourteen, but I've been reborn three times already."
"Reborn? But wouldn't that make you a hatchling?" Seonghwa asks, leaning forward.
You give a small shake of your head, "It doesn't quite work like that. Our human body continues aging, and the phoenix part of us is what gets reborn. The downside of the phoenix being reborn is the drawbacks it has on our human body from the lack of use since we have to remain in our phoenix body for six months."
You swear you hear Yunho mumble something under his breath about it being "weird", but ignore it.
The next question surprises you a little.
"So, you said this is your third rebirth. Do you remember things before the rebirth?" Yeosang asks, leaning on his hands that are behind him.
"All of it." Your answer is simple and immediate. It was enough to state you didn't like talking about the rebirth process. Why would you? Knowing how you died, you'd much rather leave it in the past.
The four in front of you share another look. Assuming this wasn't a topic you'd like to continue.
"Okay, then how about this. Every month we came back here. Why?" Yunho asks.
"Besides not freezing to death, you're looking at the birthplace of the phoenix," you tell them, gesturing to the pool of lava sitting off to your right.
"Do you need to come back here now that you're able to shift?" Hongjoong questions, his mind wondering whether or not the trips here would be frequent.
"No, I won't have to visit as often anymore. It's more so to help our phoenix speed up the healing process.
Hongjoong nods at your answer. I mean heck, the dragons have something similar back in Altair.
You look up to the sky again and notice that the sky is becoming lighter.
"Well, I think," you stand up and brush the lingering pieces of gravel off your skin, "it's time to go home."
Without waiting for their reply, you begin the process of shifting. It starts as a warm feeling in your chest before it rapidly expands outwards, creating a blinding glow. Now standing where you stood is a bird of fire, probably around the size of Deimos' condor. Compared to other mythical creatures, you are pretty large in size with a wingspan of ten feet, but when you compare your size to a dragon you are still pretty small.
You watch as the boys shift once again, not that it isn't something you haven't witnessed before but it is still something to behold when a dragon the size of a home in Altair now stands before you.
Extending your wings out, you can't help but relish in the way your wings pull as they stretch. It's been so long since you could actually fly on your own that you can't stop yourself from doing some test flaps in excitement.
To the boys who hadn't shifted yet, they relished in the warmth that you gave off. Even though your body had burst into flames with your transition and your heat still lingered on the boys' scales. The flames that you erupted into should've felt almost painful, but it was warm and inviting, much like the hearth in their home.
With a cry that sounds much like a hawk, you take off into the sky leaving a trail of embers in your wake.
You can hear the strong wings of the boys as they push off the ground. It doesn't take much for them to close the distance to get to where you are, and you let out a content trill as you lead the way back to the snowy mountain of Altair.
»»————- ➴ ————-««
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herashifts · 3 months
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DRAGON RIDER DR.
I would like to preface this by saying that this dr is mostly custom. There isn’t really a “source” like you have with Harry Potter and the MCU, but it is heavily inspired by the Eragon books! This dr is a modern dragon rider dr, an urban fantasy dr, and a better cr all in one, but I just call it my dragon rider dr to make things easier for everyone hshfgfdgbdf
SO! Basically, the world is a lot like this one (minus the -isms and -phobias, obviously), but everyone receives a dragon. A person receives a dragon through a process called the Choosing. Their Choosing happens at the solstice or equinox immediately after their sixteenth birthday, whichever comes first. (Meaning that it’s an event that happens four times a year, if that makes sense.) The sixteen-year-old is brought to their country’s Hatchery, the facility that holds all unhatched dragon eggs for that nation. The Hatchery workers, called Keepers, guide the teenagers through the various rooms of dragon eggs to help them find the egg that will hatch for them. A dragon only hatches when it senses the presence of its rider. It will hatch for one person and one alone, and will wait centuries if it has to.
Once the sixteen-year-old is chosen, the egg will hatch, and a permanent bond will form between the hatchling and the human. As part of the bond, the pair have a telepathic connection (see what I mean about the Eragon influences? 😂😂😂) and the dragon learns how to communicate using the language of its rider (even if only via a telepathic connection). A downside to this bond, however, is that if either half of a bonded pair dies, so does the other. This is commonly seen as a blessing; to many, the idea of having to live without their rider/dragon would be a form of torture.
As for the dragons themselves, they come in countless varieties and endless color combinations. Some have four legs and two wings, some have two legs and two wings, some four wings and four legs, some four legs and no wings, so on and so forth. And they can have any of a wide range of what I call “breath weapons,” such as fire breath, lightning breath, etc. They can range in size, too! Some only grow to the size of cats, and others can become hulking behemoths. (Most exist in the middle of that range, though— large enough to ride, but not too large) All dragons, however, are intelligent and capable of (mental) speech. They are also mirrors of their riders. If someone is being shitty to you, you might want to avoid their dragon. Just to be safe :’)
OH! Something else that I scripted is dragonscale swords! If your family has enough money for it, it is an option to give a specially-trained blacksmith some of your dragon’s naturally-shed scales so that they can make a sword using them. This sword, once finished, has a blade that perfectly matches the color of your dragon’s scales. These blades never dull or break, and they are very expensive to make. In the Olden Days, it used to be tradition for members of a great house to gift their children a dragonscale sword when they became of age. (Now, it’s mostly just used. to flex your money hsghjdfghdf) The process of making these swords is a closely-guarded secret, but they are always stunning pieces of weaponry when finished.
Ok so now that the worldbuilding’s done, it’s time to move onto more important things: me! :3 ( /j )
When I shift to this DR, I will wake up the morning of the day before I get my dragon. (Originally, I was just going to shift to that morning, but I figured I would need time to adjust hjdhgfgfhd) This means that I’m 16, aka in high school. I’m actually kind of looking forward to this, believe it or not! I had a very Not Great high school experience in my OR, but I scripted that I’m going to have the positive experience that I always wanted! :3 So that’s fun hsjkfghdfghfdh (and before anyone asks, no, I will not be dating anyone until I’m grown.) After I graduate, I’m gonna go to art school!! The plan is to double major in animation and creative writing and y’all I’m so hype for that omg!!! I’m gonna go to the school I wanted to go to in my OR but couldn’t because it was ridiculously expensive hdfghhddfj
Aaaaaand that’s about it, I think! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!!! Thank you for reading, and I love you!!! Mwah mwah!! /p
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