#thanks for giving me an excuse to overshare

[pugh-bug]

No.42 Chapter 3

Art Donaldson x reader slow burn friends to lovers

Sorry for the wait! The day I set aside to get loads done on this I ended up having to visit a family member in hospital, he’s much much better now. Anyway oversharing. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I loved writing it. Let me know if you wanna be added to my tag list 💕

Part 2

——————————————————————

You woke up on Saturday morning to a missed text from Art.

7:58am - text from Art

Sorry if I woke you when I left. Gone to play hard court today hope you slept alright on that couch.

The sudden realisation that you were not in fact in your bed hit you almost as hard as the loose spring in your back. You groaned, reaching for some leftover pizza. None left. You groaned again.

9:26am - text to Art

Did you eat all your pizza?

To your surprise the boy replied immediately, showcasing his ability to read your mind.

9:27am - text from Art

Afraid so :) Look in the fridge if you’re so hungry

The fridge, despite the tightness of your apartment, had never looked so far away. You’d rather wait the nine hours for Art to return and pass food to you through a funnel. He could create some sort of feeding tube, perhaps he could fashion it out of one of the dozen tennis ball containers Patrick left lying around. You hadn’t seen the floor in years.

It took you almost thirty minutes to peel your lifeless body off the sofa and trudge the eight metres to the fridge. Before all of your fingers had grasped the cold metal you caught it. The smell.

The month you and Patrick were flat hunting had been a difficult one, full of stress and disappointments. A week before you found the flat you now called home, Art had found crying outside your favourite pancake place. You didn’t know if Patrick had texted him, giving him a heads up of your less than stellar mood and where to find you, or if he had simply ran into you by accident but one minute he was there.

The two of you had shared your favourite, strawberry and kiwi pancakes with whipped cream, despite having never spent time alone together previously and it hadn’t been awkward. Any awkwardness had come from your inability to keep your emotions to yourself and not a mess for all to see. Art hadn’t minded in fact, unbeknownst to you, he’d greatly enjoyed your company and had had a shitty day himself before your talk.

10:02am - text to Art

Did I ever mention I love you living here??

Sitting proudly in the fridge, in between Patrick’s abandoned pasta and your pathetic amount of cheese, was a plate of strawberry and kiwi pancakes. You looked at the pile of washing up and noticed essence of strawberry still dripping from the chopping board next to a whisk and bowl.

‘God damn…’ you actually moaned aloud at the first bite. Not only were they delicious but they’d been made especially for you for no reason. No one had ever made you breakfast before, unless you counted the time Patrick threw a box of muffins at your head to wake you up for school. It often didn’t take a great amount of effort to impress you, something maybe a therapist needed to hear about, but you felt justified being impressed with Art for this. They were truly wonderful.

10:20am - text from Art

Come thank me in person if you want, Liam is taking another break

You couldn’t help but smile at his little dig at Liam, whether intentional or not it told you everything you needed to know: Art was the better player. Art was always the better player, he usually wiped the floor with anyone who wasn’t Patrick.

It was only a twenty minute walk to Stanford and although you were ashamed to admit it … you had nothing better to do on a Saturday morning. You decided to pack your laptop, so you could kid yourself that this was a productive thing and not just an excuse to watch Art sweat. The damn thing wouldn’t even get opened and you knew it.

It was a hot day, even for Summer it was unforgiving. You pulled at your tank top, attempting to negate any sweat stains by leaving a gap between your wet skin and the thin fabric. No such luck, the car window reflection of yourself showed you the harsh reality. How did Art do it? How did he look sexy whilst sweating? You felt like a drowned dog, heaving and panting in the back of a muggy car trying to see past the drops of sweat in your lashes.

You reached Stanford earlier than you expected and to your great satisfaction, saw no Art present. That gave you ample time to tidy yourself up in the toilets before meeting him. The college had crisp air con, much better than the pathetic excuse for a fan you and Patrick would crowd round on hot days.

Art didn’t text you directions because he didn’t need to. He knew you’d visited Patrick enough times to know your way around all the tennis courts, hard or otherwise. It didn’t take you long to find the right one.

‘Fuck!’

You scanned the indoor courts for the source of the outburst. Art, third court from the left and he was not happy. For a moment you teetered on your feet, unsure if it was better to wait a bit before interfering with their clearly tense match. Before you could make a decision however-

‘Y/N!’

Liam spotted you, putting his racket down immediately to wave you over. He’d once gotten drunk and told Patrick how much he liked you but that it had been so long ago that you’d almost forgotten and his new girlfriend was a tennis star. On the ‘up and up’ as Patrick’s dad would say.

Although Liam’s hug was intense, sweaty and pretty uncomfortable you were too focused on Art to cringe. He was rubbing his face with his hands, looking more pained than you’d ever seen him. You didn’t know why. He’d been playing well before you arrived.

Noticing the object of your frown, Liam suddenly grinned even wider. ‘He just lost the third set.’ Art took a large swig of water, not noticing the way you stared in awe at the angle of his jaw and the wet curls on his forehead. He was too focused on the racket he was clutching fiercely enough to force the veins of his forearm to pull your attention.

‘I know it’s not over yet,’ Liam panted slightly, clearly Art had still run him ragged. ‘But this never happens - never.’ In the years they’d played together, Liam had never beaten Art. Not in singles or doubles. Not on hard court. Not on clay or grass. Never. You were not convinced, however, that poor Liam had never won a set before so you voiced your opinion without thinking.

‘Art, you can still win. It’s fine!’

Art shot you a glare. It didn’t last long but it burned you a little, the intensity of it. He wanted so badly for you to be right, for it to not matter to him. ‘It’s just a game’ well it wasn’t to Art. It was his entire future and if he lost - if he lost ever - it was him throwing that future away.

‘You’ll win the fourth.’ You smiled, reassuringly. That lifted Art a little and bruised his partner.

‘I thought we were stopping for a bit since Y/N’s here.’ Art watched your face for a reaction, daring you to decide for the three of them. Without removing your eyes from Art you smiled. ‘No, no. I’ll watch.’

You watched them play for another hour and a half. Art just won the fourth set, by the narrowest of margins but that gave him the confidence boost he badly needed to destroy Liam in the fifth. Th-wack! Smash. Th-wack! Slice. Th-wack! Topspin. You were honestly confused why Liam bothered serving. If it had been you - well - let’s just say the floor would have made a more than sufficient bed. It was certainly making a sufficient seat for you to watch Liam get massacred. God was Art good.

‘You win…’ Liam was dripping, his white shirt almost see-through. ‘I need a sec…’ So did you. It was practically a workout just watching them. You clapped as Art walked over to you, looking very satisfied with his win. ‘You happy now?’

‘Very.’

As Liam rung out his shirt, Art gestured to the court with his racket. ‘You and me. One game.’ His eyes were full of amusement.

‘Ha.’

You’d die.

‘One set?’ He smirked, desperate for you to humour him. Not today. ‘Absolutely not.’ You laughed, standing up.

‘Actually, I’d love lunch right now,’ Liam’s suggestion was a necessity. ‘After a shower.’ And so was his afterthought. They both needed one desperately. Art’s hair didn’t even look blonde anymore.

‘Yeah you two go, I’ll wait then we can get food. I’m not super hungry but I can always eat.’

Liam was already rushing to the showers, practically leaving a pool of loser evidence behind him but Art heard. He looked like he was waiting for something from you and for a moment, in your haze, you wondered what. Oh!

‘The pancakes,’

‘Hm.’

‘De-licious.’

‘Good.’

You could tell he was happier with your compliment than he was letting on. The truth was Art craved praise, mostly for tennis but for anything he accomplished. It didn’t matter if he’d made a three tier cake, organised a trip or won every set in a match he wanted to know he’d done good.

‘Seriously, how did you even find the recipe?’ The two of you walked together out of the hall. ‘I’ve been asking the staff for years, pretty sure they hate me now actually.’

‘I have my ways.’ He grinned. ‘Now, I’m gonna go shower-‘

‘Good, you stink.’

‘Fuck off.’

Taglist: @gatorgirl007 @imblushingrn

#art donaldson slow burn #art donaldson friends to lovers #art donaldson fan fic #challengers art donaldson x reader #challengers art donaldson #art donaldson fic #art donaldson fanfic #art donaldson x reader #no.42 #Mike faist #challengers #slow burn #art donaldson fanfiction #x reader

[thegentlefem]

What got you into GFD?

I really love this question, and yet I don't have an exact answer to it. The short answer is that nothing in particular got me into gfd, it has always just been a part of who I am. I enjoy taking care of people and dominating men. I'm an independent person who doesn't conform to the mainstream. I have an innate hatred for the way society promotes toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. So gfd is my perfect niche. I'll give a longer answer below if you'd like to read it. Thank you for the question!

So I just went ahead and wrote an essay in 5 min oops it's probably more information than you wanted

I guess the origins of it can be traced as far back as elementary school. This seems really trivial but I used to be a competitive gymnast, so as a kid, I was constantly surrounded by strong girls (and boys) in the gym training for hours every day. It was normal for me to see girls who could do 50 push ups no problem or climb a rope with no legs, and at such a young age my female and male gymnastics friends were very equal in that regard. On the playground at school, I even remember arm wrestling a few boys during recess and winning. Things like that were fun, and they usually birthed friendships. No really one cared about society's views of femininity and masculinity because we were too young to understand. Good times.

In middle school, puberty hit and I realized that society didn't consider physically strong or independent women to be "normal". We were outliers. Dating became popular in school, although I never participated because it seemed too dumb to me and the girls with cliques or immature boys seemed so exhausting. My strength wasn't a source of friendship or interest anymore, and instead people (guys) were intimidated or weirded out I think. Goodbye male friendships. I was introverted and mature, not charming or cute like other girls. Girls were supposed to like smiling all the time and doing their hair, putting on makeup and acting cute to flirt with their boyfriends, right? I felt like that was foreign to me, that everything was backwards, because I knew that wasn't what I wanted. And no way was I going to sacrifice my personality for a stupid middle school relationship. So I stayed in my introverted lane and didn't get involved in dating drama.

In high school, I discovered more about my sexuality and about what I wanted from a relationship. Have you ever read Is It Wrong to Get Done by a Girl? because that's how I felt. Along with real life things, I also began consuming more media. I discovered movies and books with characters or scenes that sparked my interest. Whether it was seeing a man being tied up, a stoic character being comforted, or a man generally taking a submissive role to a woman, I was hooked. Like a memorable scene was seeing Wonder Woman tie up Steve Trevor in the lasso of truth, mwahaha. So no one event got me into GFD, it was just a desire that always existed within me and became more apparent as I grew.

My sexuality became centered on wanting to take a dominant role, but also on curating a relationship based on respect, love, and affection. I realized that toxic masculinity for men existed just like toxic femininity did for women like myself, and I just wanted to give men the love that the patriarchy of today will never show them. GFD allows me to be the woman that society will never appreciate properly: strong and in control, yet caring. GFD allows my partner to be the man that society will never appreciate fully: vulnerable and passionate, yet strong.

So, I appreciate anyone who has read this much, and I appreciate this anon ask! I also hope other women with a similar experience can read this and realize that they aren't alone in their desires. This really allowed me to reflect on myself and I would gladly answer similar questions.

#thegentlefem #woah that turned into a long post #if you read it all i am impressed #thanks for giving me an excuse to overshare #asks #about me #if mutuals dm me about this i am happy to chat

[uttering-joyous-leaves]

7 + 9 + 21 + 41 for the ask game !!!

7: Have tattoos?

just one so far! when i was back home this past summer, my dear friend and i got matching wasp wings on our arms, which is of course a reference to sufjan stevens' predatory wasp of the palisades. for the two of us it's a symbol of queer friendship and shared childhood/adolescence (and maybe the looming spectre of christianity as well). i'm dying to get more tattoos now, but i want to save up and get something more elaborate—probably an oak branch with moss, with species native to the midwest and the pnw respectively. that'd be in honor of whitman's gayest poem cycle live oak with moss :)

9: Got any piercings?

i think i'm temperamentally more of a tattoo guy than a piercings guy, but i do have a cartilage piercing in my left ear (courtesy of claire's 😬) and a lobe piercing in my right ear (courtesy of my best friend's younger sibling). i can wear a gay dangly earring and that's all i really care about

21: What I love most about myself

i've done a lot to get to a point in my life where i actually love myself a good deal, but i also feel like recently other people have clued me into parts of myself i didn't even know to love. like apparently i'm really good at empathizing and communicating with people. apparently it's hot that i'm enthusiastic about esoteric knowledge. apparently it's possible for my particular brand of silly, profound, tremulous affection to be welcomed and even desired.

41: Where I want to be right now

oh i'm SO glad you asked. we've got a serious snow day so i'm stuck at home right now. wishing more than anything that i could be snowed in with the wonderful guy i'm dating, just like valentine's day two weeks ago...drinking hot chocolate, reading dracula for class, cuddling on the couch, commenting on how pretty the snow looks every five minutes...that's precisely where i want to be right now. crazy how you can go your entire life without experiencing that kind of romantic tranquility and then when you finally do you can't go two days without it before beginning to froth at the mouth. ANYWAY

#thank you apollo for giving me an excuse to overshare <3 loved reading your answers as well and i feel like i know you a bit better now #also i've been working on this all day as a way to avoid homework heehee i need to be back on campus tomorrow or i'll die and go insane #🪶

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM Office Party Fics 🎉

Hey everyone! Thank you so much to everyone who participated. I am so happy to share everyone’s hard work. If you have a oneshot or masterlist you’d like me to add, please send me a message - new additions are always welcome.

SFW Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Inexperienced by me: Virgin!Reader has a secret no one expected, least of all Spencer. She’s a virgin… in every way.

Dancing with the Doctor by @smalltownbeautyqueen: After hearing the BAU's prom stories, Garcia decides to throw her own BAU prom.

Gift Exchange by @ssahopelessly: It’s time for the Secret Santa gift exchange at the BAU.

Secret Santa by @c-m-stuff: Reader and Spencer are together for Secret Santa.

Better for You by @incognit0slut: Spencer spends the change of year with a new resolution as he starts looking at his rival differently.

Clue by @pathologicalreid: A fic in which Penelope hosts a NYE party with a murder mystery theme.

Mistletoe's for Two by @andiebeaword: At the annual Christmas party, Spencer gets caught under the mistletoe by the woman he didn’t want to kiss.

More ratings and pairings below!

NSFW (18+) Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Prom Night by @foxy-eva: After everyone shared their sad (or non-existent) prom stories, Penelope decided to host a BAU Prom, giving Spencer the perfect excuse to finally ask out Reader.

Funhouse Mirror by me: SSA Reader promised Spencer he’d be surprised by her costume of the Doctor for the Halloween Party. He definitely was.

Kiss ’n Tell by me: Reader gets drunk on a night out with the girls and accidentally mimics her boyfriend’s habit of oversharing.

Unhappy Holidays by @reiderwriter: Reader runs into Spencer at holiday celebrations four years in a row, including this NYE.

Always Bet on Black by @reidmotif: Reader realizes she has an advantage at the Bureau's Casino Night, when Spencer can't seem to take his eyes off her and her dress.

Never Have I Ever by me: After a case involving kink culture, Spencer is assigned to judge the girls’ game of Never Have I Ever. Later, him and Reader compare scores.

Other/Fem!Reader (SFW)

Somewhere I Belong by @0and0its0doctor0: (Hotch) Hotch has a little liquid courage and breaks the rules.

When Snorter Does the Unexpected by @alluring-andrayav: (Derek) It's Derek's birthday, and he receives an unexpected gift.

Other Pairings & Gen Fic (SFW)

All is Bright by @masterwords: (Hotchgan) After a long series of failed dates, Hotch and Morgan finally come to their senses thanks to some well-placed mistletoe.

Talk of the Town by @/masterwords: (Hotchgan) Hotch has an invite to a Christmas party at the White House and he's asking Derek to be his plus one.

October by @gaelic-symphony: (Temily) The couple spends Halloween together.

November by @/gaelic-symphony: (Temily) The couple spends Thanksgiving together.

So Just Keep Kissing Me Under the Mistletoe [AO3] by @starzzyeyed : (Hotchreid) Spencer's dreading the BAU's christmas party for many reasons; not least because it means spending time off duty with his boss.

Happy Hotch Day by @codename-mom: (Platonic) Penelope wants to cheer her boss up as he still suffers from what Foyet did to him. The team prepares a surprise for him.

It's a Piece of Cake by @/codename-mom: (Platonic) Jack is turning six and Penelope wants to do something for the occasion.

The Sweater Case by @/codename-mom: (Platonic) The FBI organizes a gala with all the agency directors in the country. Hotch doesn't want to go.

Happy Reading!

#spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut #criminal minds challenge #criminal minds women #criminal minds fanfic #temily #hotchgan #hotchreid #heid #criminal minds gen fic #gen fic #cm writing challenge #fanfic rec #fic recs

[by-soleil]

can't fight this feeling

Pairing: Mark Lee x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warning: One-sided love, Mutual pinning (?), Oblivious bestfriend(s), idk...

This fic was inspired by "Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon"

•••

You remember it clearly. It was the morning of the very first day. The sun was unforgiving, blazing thru the thinnest of fabric that was your blouse. And it was only 9 in the morning. How you survived the rest of the day was still a mystery.

After sighing for the nth time, you try to scan the new surrounding. The unfamiliarity of it left you with an uneasy feeling. How exactly does one supposed to find where the ‘Neo Auditorium’ is after only being here once? Granted, it was your fault. It was you who skipped the unofficial tour of the ground in favor of getting your nails done.

You fish your phone out, maybe your friends replied to the text you sent before you started driving earlier. They should be here already, they should know where you’re supposed to be heading.

“Oh, crap.” you grit your teeth in annoyance. Checking once more if there are any clues about where that Neo place is in your group chat before locking your phone and threw it carelessly inside your purse.

“Screw it, I’ll find my way.” you mumble to yourself as you head towards the nearest walkway shaded by the tree.

Or so you thought.

What supposed to be a 4-minute walk from your car turned into a 30 minute of absolute confusion. Stopping at every directories for some sign only for you to find out weeks later that it hasn’t even been updated since God know when.

Just when you’re about to give up and just go back to your car for some air conditioning, someone approached you.

“Excuse me, do you need help?”

“Yeah, actually. l think I’m lost, I’ve walked around probably a thousand times to look for that damned Neo-something and somehow just ended up back here. My head hurts and I haven’t broke into these shoes ugh I feel like—“ you abruptly stop, realizing you just overshared and probably scare the only person that might actually help you. “I’m sorry, I’m mumbling. Yeah, a help would be nice.” you smile shyly.

The man in front of you gulped. A bit flustered with how fast you were talking. Then he chuckled. “It’s fine, you’re good. You’re looking for the Neo Auditorium, eh?” he asks, still chuckling lightly.

You nod, questioning weather you should feel offended that the man in front of you can’t seem to stop chuckling.

“I’m heading that way, actually. I’m guessing we’re in the same class. I could show you where it is.”

“Ugh, thank God!” you grunt, feeling relieved. Sipping what’s left of your watered down iced coffee, you nod to him. “Let’s go.”

“Umm, actually, can you wait a sec? I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be quick I promise.” The man in front of you hold his hand up as if to assure you he wasn’t lying.

A chuckle slipped out of your mouth and you nod before following the man towards the bathroom.

“I’m Mark, by the way.” the man walking next to you introduced himself. Making sure his hands are dry by patting it on his shirt before offering it for you to shake.

After introducing yourself, you arrived in front of a big wooden door with a big slab of glass running through the middle of it.

“You can sit next to me, the seats in front are all taken I think.” Mark offers kindly. Which of course you accept, a friendly face was exactly what you needed that day.

And that’s how you met Mark, your dearest, closest best friend.

Throughout the years, you and Mark become inseparable. It is not a strange thing for someone to ask you where Mark is when his phone is unreachable. Reserving two seats for you knowing Mark would also tag along anyway.

Here’s the thing, being around Mark is easy and comfortable. He feels like home.

Mark is your person as you are his. You tell Mark everything and he also tells you everything about him. Well, most things.

Countless nights spent with you burning his ears off talking about your shitty love life. How your ocean-deep love for Haechan is never reciprocated.

Mark is a great listener, he might never give you any advice on how to deal with your stupidity when it comes to Heachan—sometimes you wonder why, cause he seems to always have an opinion about everything else—but you don’t care. All you needed was to be heard. To feel heard. And Mark give you just that.

“What’s up, lover boy?” Jaemin greets Mark when he set his book bag down near the couch.

“Shut up, man.” He jokingly brush him off. Taking the guitar and placing it on his lap.

Jeno then pops out of nowhere, startling both Mark and Jaemin. “You coming tonight, lover boy? You know Haechan always throw the best parties.” he wiggles his brows.

“Of course Mark is going, his little girlfriend is gonna be there. Where is she, anyway? Aren’t you guys supposed to be glued together or something?” Jaemin continue to tease.

Mark taps the guitar strings, “First of all,” then he strums a chord, “not my girlfriend.” his slender fingers quick to adjust to another chord before strumming once more. “Second, she’s getting her nails done.” another strum of the guitar follows before he quietly murmured “for Haechan’s party.”

“How are you the smartest person I know yet capable of being this stupid?” Jeno tsks, shaking his head as he head for the fridge.

“Remind me to never let you copy my assignments from now on.” Mark jokes. Knowing exactly what Jeno is implying with him being stupid.

Mark never know that it would end up like this. What started out as friendship has grown stronger. At least for him.

Maybe it was the way you always put everyone else’s feelings before yours. Accommodating people’s wants and needs, even if it means going the extra miles.

Always so kind towards other people yet never really expect the same from them. Always so selfless, smiling through the inconvenience people threw your way. Mark knows that you know you can say no. You just choose not to. Making him want to be the person you could rely on.

Or maybe it was your pure heart. You love hard, you really do. Too bad it’s never to the right person. What a shame, really.

Mark wishes he had the strength to show his feelings. The courage to just shut you up when you tell him that you feel like shit and unwanted. To kiss the pain from your voice away. To show you how amazing you really are. How you deserve to be treated.

Mark though it was only a phase. Maybe the endless hours spent together, be it studying or just hanging out in your room was taking a toll on him. But, nowadays he started to doubt himself.

“Yeah, right.” he often find himself mumble quietly, running circles inside that big ass head of his—yes, you’ve confirmed it. Mark has a big ass head. Making him all the more grateful you always gift him beanie and bucket hat instead of baseball cap. Truth be told, he’d love it regardless.

Mark tried plenty of times, he went on dates. Yet, his mind kept on wondering whether you’ve had dinner or not. Or would you like the gnocchi he’s been playing with through his entire date. Or is the music that’s been quietly playing in the background would suit your questionable music taste. Everything just somehow linked back to you.

Most of the girls were nice, hell, all of them were nice. But they’re just not you.

Sometimes, he’d think it was his ego. His needs to be needed. You were so out of it and all over the place sometimes, makes him want to take care of you. You make him feel good about a lot of things.

“You look very pretty.” you hear Mark say when you step into his car. Grinning widely when you roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna shoot my shot tonight, Markie! It’s now or never. I’m tired of Haechan only seeing me as friends. I mean, I’m not all that bad, right? I’m pretty—like you just said. I’m always cheerful. I could make a great girlfriend. Don’t you think?” you bring your body forward, pestering your bestfriend for some validation. You need all the ego boost you could get for tonight.

Mark could feel his gut stirring inside. Tonight, huh?

“Earth to Markie! Hello?” you wave a hand in front of his face.

“My bad, I just randomly thought of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mark scrambles to turn the car on.

“Yeah, what? Are you okay, dude?” you ask genuinely concern. Your bestfriend was never the type to get all panicky. Something must’ve going on.

“Yeah, you’d make a great girlfriend.” was the last thing Mark said to you through the entire 20-minute ride to Haechan’s house.

What was supposed to be ‘the night’ for you, took turn for the absolute worst.

You were so eager to find Haechan as soon as you step into the party. The music blasting from the speakers pumping adrenaline straight to your gut.

Light airy steps got heavier the more you step into the living room. The visual of Haechan shoving his tongue down someone’s throat is all you could focus on. Smiling into the kiss like some simp in love.

Your vision’s getting blurry from the hot tears threatening to spill out. The air feels thick, the smell of booze doesn’t smell like a good time no more.

You didn’t feel the arm that suddenly wrapped around your shoulder, turning you around towards the front door. Helping you walk on your trembling limbs.

Everything was happening so fast. One second you were standing on Haechan’s living room grasping for air and the next you’re bawling your eyes out in your bestfriend’s arm. Soiling his ironed Ralph Lauren shirt with mixture of hot tears and snot.

Mark was there. Mark is always there. By your side as you pick up your shattered heart, gluing it back to together. He even helped gluing some of the pieces.

Mark was there, waiting patiently as you slowly turned back into your old self. The one he fell in love with.

Maybe what happened that night was for the best. Mark feel bad for feeling this way, but that was what you needed to finally get over Haechan.

You no longer fix your hair when Haechan walks by. You no longer care whether Haechan’s gonna be at the hang out later or not. You are over him.

“Wanna go get some Korean food?” Mark suggests over the phone.

“Kimchi jjigae?” you elaborate. Earning a groan from him.

“Something else. Literally anything except that.”

“Literally what is your problem with kimchi jjigae, Mark?!” you sound offended. Though it’s true you started eating kimchi jjigae just so you can resonate with Heachan, but over the time, you genuinely enjoy it. Annoying Mark everytime.

“I’m sick of it.” Mark groans. Never actually made his peace with the stuff you adopted when you were still head over heels towards Haechan.

“Then you pick! You know what? You’re pissing me off lately. Get that stick out of your ass before you come and talk to me!” you hang up the call before throwing your phone towards your bed.

Mark’s hands smacking the steering wheel repeatedly. Frustration consumes the better part of him. “What the fuck is your problem, dude?” Mark shouts to himself.

“Can’t fucking man up, I know that’s what.” Mark answer himself. Turning his car engine on before zooming to your place.

You barely caught you breath after cursing the hell out of Mark after the call ended earlier when someone—you obviously know who it is—starts pounding on your door.

“Open the door, please. I need you to hear me out.” Mark pleas, sounding way too soft for someone who just drove twenty miles above the speed limit all the way to your place.

You stand up immediately, stopping before you turn the door knob separating the two of you. “Are you done being an asshole? Cause I don’t have the energy to fight with you, Mark.”

“Please, open the door.” his plea sounds a lot sadder that before, weaken your pounding heart.

There are a bunch of things you expect when opening the door, but Mark, down on his knees looking defeated and red was definitely not one of them.

Mark breathes out you name, face looking up. He looked… nervous?

“I am sorry,—”

“As you should be,” you cut him off.

“Not just about earlier,” he paused, raising to his full height. Making you look up in the process. “But also for what I’m about to do”

Mark didn’t let you say anything before stepping into your personal space, catching you off guard. His hands fly up to cup each side of your face, causing heat to spread all over your body.

He breathes out your name wholeheartedly, “My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you that day. The day you were lost and can’t find our class. I’ve been running round in circles ever since. You take me to the places that alone I’d never find.”

“What are you saying, Mark?” your voice came out more like sigh.

“I can’t fight it no more. I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” Mark breathes heavily before leaning down and crashing his lips into yours.

The kiss was anything but sweet, it was filled with rage and desperation. It was filled with needs, it was like the kiss was the only thing keeping him alive. He doesn’t want the kiss, he needs it.

The shocked you felt was quickly washed off by the heat radiating from his soft lips working its way in against yours. Begging to be let it. Begging for you.

Your limp hands somehow find its strength to circle his waist, welcoming him with open arms as your lips do the same.

“What the fuck was that?” you laugh in his face when Mark finally have the decency to let you breathe.

He joins your chuckle as he connects your forehead with his. “Guess it finally get too much to handle.”

“What is?” your hands play with the hair on his nape.

“My feelings for you.” his voice lowers in volume.

You scoff, “You don’t get to feel shy after you just kissed me like a madman starving.” you try to pinch his sides. Earning a laugh so crisp you can’t help to join in.

“What took you so long?” you ask, outing yourself of knowing about his feelings already. Though it is obvious, you yourself are also afraid of pulling the trigger. Not wanting to lose the precious connection you and Mark have shared over the years.

“You knew?!” Mark shrieks in absolute horror.

You smack his forearm, “Everyone with brain size bigger than a shot glass would know, Markie!”

“Then why didn’t you say anything.” he pester, eyes still bulging out.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t wanna risk it. What we have, you know? And I know you’d break, eventually.”

“Of course, cause if it’s me begging on my knees it wouldn’t be a problem.” he rolls his eyes.

You stand on your tippy toes before landing a quick smooch on his lips. “Just like what I planned.”

“You little minx!” he bops your nose before throwing you on the bed, joining your laugh as you try to crawl away.

Things turned out way better than neither of you expected. The afternoon spent laughing, pointing out the times any of you showed affection more than what a friend should. Laughter and shrieks of embarrassment filled the small space of your bedroom. With the craving for kimchi jjigae long forgotten.

#mark lee #lee mark #mark lee angst #mark lee oneshot #mark lee fluff #mark fic #mark lee fic #nct mark #nct fanfic #nct au #nct imagines #nct dream #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #kpop fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct 127 fanfic #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct angst #nct fluff #song inspired #can't fight this feeling #reo speedwagon #by soleil

[vcrooster]

Midnight Rain

PREQUEL TO AFTER HOURS

Smut

Paring: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw & Simpson! Reader.

Word count: 4K

Summary: Bradley is nice enough to buy you a drink on your birthday.

Warnings: pinv, car sex, public sex, smut, smut, smut.

Author’s note: this can be read as a stand alone but here his part 1 if you’re interested: After Hours

***

“Excuse me, could– Hey!” It’s not your first attempt in getting the bartender's attention. It’s embarrassing but not even leaning a little more on the bar to expose more of your cleavage is helping.

“Just a moment, sweet thing” He said, lifting a finger towards you, ignoring your order and going straight to the blonde that just got there a second ago.

“Prick” You said under your breath.

And Rooster notices everything from the other side of the bar. He couldn't help but to feel like an asshole when he was trying to see if he could get a glimpse of your ass under that little pink skirt of yours.

You soon turn your head when you feel a pair of eyes looking towards you. He’s handsome. Really fucking handsome and for the look on his face he looks like might be interested in buying you a drink.

“You need some help?” He figures if he already made eye contact he might as well offer to get you something, he didn’t want to seem like a creep.

“Is it that obvious?” You scrunch your nose with a little bit of embarrassment. You move towards his direction noticeably biting your lip to grab his whole attention.

“Just a little” And it seems to work by the way his eyes linger over your body. “For what it’s worth I really thought you almost got it there for a second.” He gives you an ironic smile.

You notice how sweet his smile is and how his hazel eyes lighten up when he does so. “What can I say, I tried my best”

“Yeah I saw that” You know what he means, and now you know exactly what he has been looking at. “Don’t you look too young to be in a place like this?”

“As a matter of fact” You showed him your ID, you had it ready in your hand to show the bartender. “I turned twenty one today.” You say it like you're proud of it. He reads your name on the card and it falls so nicely from his lips.

“Then it has to be my treat then” He offered. Bradley quickly noticed the curiosity in your eyes which made his lips quirk up slightly. You tell him what you want, it takes him no effort to get the bartender's attention “Get me a Sour Martini.”

“Right on.”

Even though he doesn’t offer you the seat next to him, you take it before he could even finish talking. He was about to do it, you just beat him to it. He doesn’t hide very well how his eyes take a look at your legs.

The words get lost in his throat when the drink arrives in just a minute. “Thanks man.”

“No problem.”

He slides it to you, meeting your fingers in the process in a way that’s totally intentional.

“And you're not going to tell me your name?” You try to make small conversation, well, find out the name of the guy that just bought you a drink seemed the right way to go so you could at least say ‘thank you.’

“It’s a secret” He looks at his beer giving you a smirk before taking a sip.

“I’m very discreet, y’know” You rest your head in the palm of your hand, trying to look more interested in whatever words come out of his mouth.

“It’s Rooster” You twitch your lips playfully with some hints of confusion.

“Rooster?” You think maybe you didn’t catch it quite right because of the conversations over lapping next to you. “Rooster?” You repeated. He nods his head leaning closer to you, licking his lips in the process. “Maybe I already had too much to drink.”

There is a chuckle coming from him looking at how confused you are. It’s cute. “It’s my call sign, I’m a fighter pilot” He explained.

“Really?” You sound more surprised than what you actually are, you don’t know what it is about him but it isn't so far-fetched the fact that he’s a pilot. “My father is in the Navy too. He’s on deployment right now” Maybe you overshared, but it’s not every day you’re able to talk to a hot Navy guy without having your dad watching over you shoulder like a hawk.

The expression on his face went a little confused trying to pace all of the information together.

Simpson, he remembers your last name on your ID. The only Simpson he knows in the Navy is Admiral Beau Simpson.

An admiral's daughter. He sure is fucked and the only thing he’s done so far is buy you a drink.

“Hence why are you at a bar” He didn't want to think about it a whole lot. Thinking about it’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, yet.

“Hence why I’m at the bar” you repeated. He has the most gorgeous smile you’ve seen. You reciprocate immediately feeling him loosen up.

“Your old man hard on you?” The way his eyes lock on you is making you feel like you’re melting. He’s not like the other pilots you’ve gotten the chance to see, it makes you think he’s not here for a long time.

“Not really” Come to think of it, your dad’s concern over you has always come from your constant bad choices. “He has a no pilots rule, though.”

“Hurtful, very hurtful” He sets his hand on his chest acting as if that was the most offensive thing he’s ever heard, stealing a laugh from you.

“Well, not the best reputation precedes you guys” He catches how you cross your legs giving him a little more to see. “You can’t blame the man.”

“You think that?” He raises his left eyebrow softly.

“Maybe” You answer with a bitter sweet tone. “He could be right”

“Why’s that?” He’s more invested in what you have to say due to the sudden change of your voice.

“Because when a guy tries to take a girl back to his place he usually starts off giving his actual name” You take a sip from your drink, he never breaks eye contact with you following every movement you make.

He’s captivated. Not really being able to figure out how Beau Simpson raised a daughter so unlike his strict persona, but then again he’s only judging by the front he got to see in a couple of training exercises with him. If it wasn’t for the last name he would’ve never put his money down for Beau.

He didn’t realize how long he’d let you hang until you spoke again.

“I see… he’s not interested” You twitch your mouth to the side in disappointment. Did he just buy you a drink out of pity? After checking you out? “Well, thank you for the drink anyway, Rooster” You emphasize his call sign just to turn around and walk back to your friends.

Oh but he is. He just doesn’t want to make it too obvious that he wants to take you home.

He doesn’t give it too much thought. He’s not the biggest fan of fucking a random stranger but you look so good in that little pink set that he doesn’t really care about anything.

“It’s Bradley” He didn’t want to rush it out as fast as he did. He honestly thought you weren’t going to turn around back to him anymore. “Bradley Bradshaw” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous that he blew the whole thing. “And he is interested.”

You don’t even want to hide the smile on your face. Maybe this is the best birthday gift you could have ever landed on.

You’re trying not to think about the repercussions of following this man in the rain towards his car.

It’s a nice gesture from him draping his Hawaiian shirt on your shoulders trying to keep you covered from the rain.

You had a couple of drinks, you wouldn’t say you're drunk, you know you’re going to remember every second of this night in the morning.

He looks like he’s struggling to find his car, almost not remembering he parked in the back of the parking lot. It seems like a long walk and the midnight rain isn’t going anywhere any time soon. You try not to think too much in how you just totally left your friends for the hottest guy in the room, but still a stranger nonetheless.

He acts like such a gentleman, opening the door for you and holding your hand to help you in. Your heart beats loudly against your chest in anticipation for what’s to come.

Maybe your fake ID only got you in one or two bars but adding up all of the frat parties you’d only had a very blurry couple of night stands. But this is so much different, he’s an older guy. The last thing you want is to seem like a prude.

“Fuck, it’s pouring” He puts the keys into the ignition letting the car warm up for a second. You’re nervous. The fidgeting with your fingers was going to be a little too obvious if you kept it up. “You alright?” His voice is so sweet you could die.

You’re looking at him as he's pushing his wet hair back, your heart races. You feel like you’d lost all the confidence you had back in the bar. You’re scared that if you don’t act now you’re going to be too overwhelmed later.

Before he could even speak again, you’re pulling him close to you, tugging him by the neck and rapidly joining your lips together with him. It takes him only a second to respond to your kiss, his hands find their way to the base of your skull. The harsh press of his lips made every single thought in your mind disappear just so you could only focus on him.

His tongue is gliding over your bottom lip looking for access that you give him right away. Your surprise by the way he’s already giving in to you.

As you feel the sync of his mouth against yours escalate he pulls away taking a second to look into your eyes. You notice the pink color from your lip gloss all over his lips, you giggle at how confused he looks. “What?” He said smiling.

“You got a little…” Your thumb brushes over them collecting the gloss on your finger, his eyes follow it so mesmerized by it.

Shit, shit, shit. That’s all it takes for him to be wrapped around your finger.

“That don’t bother me” He pulls you back in kissing you roughly, teeth clashing and his tounge fighting with yours, only separating to take some air.

He’s fast to push his seat all the way back to make space for you to straddle his lap. He pulls you by the waist immediately moving his hands roam all over your thighs.

Rooster sees you growing shy once you're settled on his lap. He thinks it’s endearing how you're blushing when you kissed him like that just a second before.

“Hey, look at me” His voice wasn’t as soft as before. Hand sliding over your jaw tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “That's better” He said with satisfaction.

Your hips circle down into his own. His fingers buried into your hip bones guide the pace. Your core rubbed perfectly against him as you felt him hardening through the fabric of his jeans.

His hands skim under your skirt soon making their way to your ass, bringing you closer to him. His lips feel soft and rough at the same time.

His mouth moved with yours almost immediately, both fighting for which one of you was in charge, it wasn’t long before you let him guide you exactly how he wanted you to. He pushed his tongue in and your head began to spin.

Your clit is throbbing with each movement he guides down as you feel yourself growing wet between your thighs. “How does it feel?” He asks with a raspy tone. You barely notice how his hands are riding up your skirt slowly, but then again everything feels too good to be noticing anything.

“So good” You whimper. His tongue glides slowly over your bottom lip before he starts to trail off to your neck, painting small red circles all the way to whatever skin is exposed from your chest.

You want to tell him not to leave marks on you but the words fall off of your month with a moan that’s been building up in the back of your throat.

You roll down again and his hips meet you halfway in smooth thrust. The way he moans his like music to your ears. The way he’s kissing you is getting hotter by the second, same way as he grows inside of his pants. “You’re so good for me baby, aren’t you?”

“Yes” You answer without even having a second thought. It comes out as a whine making his already hard cock twitch in his pants.

He smiles at the sight of you needing him. He loved how his name just slipped out of your mouth begging for more. Hands removing his own shirt off of your shoulders, he finds the zipper of the crop top just to soon reveal a low cut lacy bra.

You feel the heat rising to your face and the puddle of pleasure building up in your lower stomach. He lets you move down a couple of times before holding your hips steady, stalling your movements.

Soon enough his hand gets lost in between your thighs, rubbing you on top of your panties. “You’re so wet for me already.” He pulled the fabric aside letting two of his fingers inside while his thumb drew circles with pressure on your clit.

He feels lost in the way you’re moaning, how you're kissing down his jaw nibbling at his earlobe, returning the same little number he marked on you a minute ago.

The way he lets out a groan sends shivers down your spine. “You smell so sweet” He said so softly you almost didn’t catch it. His breath hits your skin and the tip of his nose keeps drawing its way up your neck until his month meets your again.

You felt so close to the edge your body started to react, hips followed the traces that his thumb was drawing over your clit. The sound of you moaning made his eyes look for yours in realization.

He had to remind himself where he was. Maybe the rain helped cover up the two silhouettes but he still figured that it was pretty obvious what was happening if someone stared long enough.

“Shit– Hold on” he pants over your lips taking just a second to catch his breath.

“What?– why?” You huff. His hands go up your sides, settling you on his lap. You kiss him desperately trying to get him going again, not really getting why he stopped in the first place.

You kiss down his jaw all the way to his earlobe. He moans softly and you’re loving how such simple actions are the ones that affect him the most.

You got him for a second, his hands sliding over the material covering your breast cupping them in his large hands.

Fuck it. His common sense was thrown out the window.

He wanted to drive you back home. He wanted no other but but yo fuck you in every surface of his apartment, maybe the plan wasn’t this one but he won’t oppose to it.

“Get in the back for me. I’m not done yet” He clarified.

You do exactly as he said. He catches a very nice view of you when you go over the center console, he’s quick to pass his hand over the curve ass, gaining a surprise moan from you.

He didn’t even feel the cold when he walked out of his car.

He looks through the wet window at how your blurry figure settles against the opposite door. He feels his jeans growing tighter at the image of ripping that pink skirt off your body already. “Fuck me.” He says under his breath.

The door swigs open. Bradley takes a moment to look at you. Your cheeks were flustered and your lips have a cherry plump to them. He’s seen many pretty girls before but not a single one he just couldn’t wait to sleep with. First time he’s ever fucked someone in his car.

You brush your thighs together to revive some of the tension that’s building up, feeling too shy to have your hand do it for you.

Once the door is closed he couldn’t decide what to do to you first. Your shoes come off first, his hands finally take care of your skirt. It’s slow, he makes sure that he takes his time feeling the skin of your thighs.

He kisses you hard, grabbing a hold of your waist easily and laying you down on the seat completely under him. Your leg wraps around him settling on his lower back. It leaves for you to meet the bulge in his jeans again.

He feels warm to the touch despite being covered by the cold rain. You break the kiss just to pull on his soaked shirt, taking it completely off him.

You knew whatever he had going on underneath was going to be good. His muscles were toned and exercised but not to exaggerate, they were smoothly marked across his whole body and his skin was soft and tanned by the California sun. He certainly would take anybody’s breath away.

You slid the palms of your hands down his torso until they met the waistband of his jeans, and you used it as leverage, feeling how the way he’s kissing you became more and more dizzying.

He likes how your lips feel pillowy over his, it makes him deepen the kiss even more, he’s so lost in it the only thing that took his attention off of it was you unbuckling his belt, which he helped out with right away.

It all feels so rushed. His jeans are pooling alongside your skirt and heels in the footwell. Next went your bra which he wouldn't of mind leaving on, it’s no secret that he’s always been a lingerie type of guy.

“I need to grab a condom” He says, separating from you. You’re debating whether to tell him that you're on birth control and trust the guy you just met at a bar on a Saturday night that was nice enough to buy you a drink, which at this point doesn’t really seem like a bad idea.

“It’s okay” You pant pulling him back to meet your lips. “I’m on the pill” His eyes fall into yours for a quick moment. He thinks about it but he’s far too gone to give it too much importance.

You pulled him in against your lips to kiss him feverishly, snapping him out of his thoughts. His tongue caresses yours leading to a soft mewl on his mouth.

His boxers are gone as soon as you tug at the waist band. He noticed how you’re staring, it goes straight to his ego. He tries to hide his smile, licking his lips focusing on the expression on your face. “So beautiful.” He moves a string of your hair to the back of your ear just so he could take a look at your features a little better.

You give him a smile that makes him completely melt. Your cheeks are flushed and he can’t help to think how sweet you are. “You ready sweet heart?” You nod.

He pays attention to your clit again to help you relax. His cock lines up with your entrance and he can already tell how tight you're going to feel.

It burns the first couple of seconds from the stretch of him pushing in. He’s taking it slow trying to ease the pain as much as possible for you. He places a tender kiss on your temple just to feel how his lips separate over your skin moaning in pleasure loving how you feel around him.

You squeeze onto his shoulders as you keep lowering yourself, feeling how his chest clashes with yours and his hot breath hits your ear, there’s a sigh leaving his mouth with the further you go down his length.

Bradley bites his bottom lip resting his forehead on your collarbone having a great view of your body’s coming together. “Oh god– You’re so perfect” He said with an airy voice.

You still. Rooster noticed some discomfort in your face once you took him all in. He’s mindful about it, you just turned twenty one, probably it’s for the best to let you guide the pace. His thumbs draw circles on your hip bones, kissing your skin tenderly just to comfort you.

You’re grabbing onto his shoulders to start your pace. He helps you move with his hand wrapped around your waist. It’s easy at first, he likes the slow burn of it, how his cock almost completely out and deep back in afterwards. “You’re so fucking tight.”

A breathless moan leaving your mouth. Your pace picks up. He’s hitting just the right spot every time you come back down.

His hand lands on your hips digging his fingers in your skin, his arm still around your waist allows you to go faster, he bucks his hips upwards to meet yours half way, he gives the extra fricción you're looking for. “Ngh– shit”

His head leans back in the seat, brows knotting together, enjoying how you're bouncing on him. “Fuck– your precious baby” He moaned.

His hands roam on your back close to your waist dropping all the way to your ass squeezing softly. His lips leaving a trail of kisses hungrily from your jaw to your collarbone, he nips at the skin once he gets there leaving a couple of marks along the way.

His face hides on the crook of your neck as you ride him. Hearing all of the soft moans that are coming out of you in his ear are sending more pressure straight to his cock. “Bradley…” You whimper with need.

He looks into your eyes knowing that you want more. He helps you, jerking up harder, setting a much rougher pace that makes your head feel fuzzy.

Fingers leave bruises on your skin. Your walls clenched around him as he can tell how your legs begin to tense up. You’re close, so close.

“That’s it– Fuck” He moans. You feel your body getting hot and the heat pooling all over your cheeks. When your hand falls on his chest he feels as equally as heated as you. “You cumming baby?”

You nod, desperately latching on to him. You kiss him again to try to ease the feeling that is so overwhelming.

There is sweat making the front pieces of his hair stick to his forehead, the flushed on his cheeks is almost covering his face. You meet with his soft hazel eyes going over the edge.

The orgasm hits you like no other. The waves of pleasure go through your body, and that was enough for him to follow up to you. “Fuck…” he lets out in between moans.

He pounds into you a couple of times before staying completely still.

Your chest meets his, both trying to catch your breath. His arms coming up to your back falling to your waist.

“Well fuck… Happy birthday” Rooster said, panting. There is a chuckle leaving his throat before your lips fall sweetly over his pulling away to show him the pretty smile he’s been charmed by all night.

He stares at you, pushing the hair off your face to take a look at your pretty face. “You’re coming home with me.”

He shifts you, now finding yourself under him “And what exactly are you planning to do with me good sir?”

“Oh, everything honey” He kisses you for the last time leaving you eager for what else he has planned.

***

Taglist:

@xoxabs88xox @abaker74 @cherrycola27 @mak-32

#bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #rooster angst #rooster one shot #rooster smut #rooster top gun #top gun #top gun maverick

[barleyo]

Genuine question (if it's not too personal for you to answer) what got you so into incest? I found you through tt but it's been a min since I've been on there so idk if you've ever told your story. For me personally I've dealt w sexual abuse/assault from my brother & I think that's why ur writing doesn't bother me as much as it would if that hadn't of happened to me. But I'm also sure there's plenty of people interested in this content with out it being trauma related so I was just curious about your "inspiration" I suppose.

cw: incest, rant, kinda long ramble under the cut

Honestly, I don't mind answering because I am a HUUUUGE oversharer, I'm actually glad you asked because maybe if I answer, people will get off my dick about it :3 I am also a victim of incest! For three years I was sexually abused and repeatedly raped by my older cousin (him being 13 to 16 and me being 8 to 11). COCSA, or child on child sexual assault, is a tricky thing to deal with for me, and personally, it left me with more guilt and confusing feelings as opposed to the sexual abuse and grooming I've faced from adults. Especially because it happened via someone I was related to. I think a reason why it manifested into this dark interest is because I only recently told my mother what happened, which gave my mind time to twist it around and make it something sexual. I enjoy writing about it because, for me, placing it in a fictional context makes me feel like I have more control over the situation, and helps me ease the constant itch in my brain that is just dying to replay the scene of me being sexually violated over and over again. I can, in a weird way, replace what happened with my cousin with silly little sexy stories with fictional characters; it gives me peace of mind to turn something bad into something "good," i.e, a story. It gives me a creative way to siphon all of the trauma leaking out of my brain and make it something partially useful to other people.

I actually don't mind when people who haven't been victims of incest or other awful things enjoy dark content that uses those themes! I think it's human nature to enjoy the taboo, and even have a bit of an obsession with it. Our brains, in the modern day, are so obsessed with being politically/socially/emotionally correct that we stop ourselves from enjoying the dirtiest, most perverted things that we know we truly want to indulge in, even when we're alone! People can enjoy what they want. The beautiful part of being online is anonymity. If you want to read about parents fucking nasty with their (adult) kids, you can totally do that with no real-life consequences because it is online, not-real, fictional, made-up, make-believe, and pretend (all in that order.) If you want to call anyone who indulges in these communities and reads this shit awful people, guess what? You totally can! Because this is the internet and everyone gets to have an opinion, spread their agenda, and say what they want, within reason of course.

I hate to use this excuse, because truly, I understand that words hurt, but what I'm writing and what people are reading is all fiction! I certainly don't, and I hope most people who enjoy the incest/cnc/ddlg communities don't actually want to fuck their relatives, be raped, or be in pedophilic relationships.

Saying all of that, I'm going to continue to write nasty, depraved, incestous, rape-centered smut, because at the end of the day, that's what I want to do on my blog, and it's what makes me happy.

Thank you for asking. I'll be happy to answer any other questions that anybody has, even if they're hateful <3

#barleyxnighteye #cw incest #cnc k!nk #barley speaks #barley loves attention #rant post #mini rant

[delicris]

hey doll

32 and 38 for the ask game <3

hello there, love <3 i'm putting these under the cut because i overshare and they got too fucking long skhdfjsk

32: What words upset me the most

what upsets me the most is when people tell me to stop making up excuses when i'm trying to explain my situation to them. they always ask for the reasoning and then when i try to give it, i'm talked over and not listened to. it's the most frustrating thing ever, why would they ask for the reasoning if they're not even going to give me five seconds... just say you want me to take the blame and fuck off, WHY IS IT SO HARD I DON'T UNDERSTAND also, in general getting talked over pisses me so much, i don't mind when it's w friends and we're all having a good conversation and we're kinda finishing each other's sentences and helping each other out w the thought process and w finding the right words, but it happens so much in my class istg, and it never fails to make my blood reach the boiling point SO FAST, why can't they wait for their turn to speak, why do they feel the need to fucking interrupt me OR LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE like... who tf do they think they r?? that's just the tip of the iceberg, obviously i get upset when people r hateful and not considerate and simply shit on others and spread lies just because they think they can, but i feel like that's obvious but i could go on and on, there r so many things that people say that make me do a double take fr

38: My childhood career choice

this one's kinda funny because i wanted to be a doctor, preferably a surgeon, HOWEVER, my mother has forbidden me to pursue that dream because she went to med highschool and didn't want me to go through a similar experience (do i think it's actually because she never got the opportunity to study medicine at uni?? perhaps... we're a weird little family, you see)... so i thought i'd be a writer or a translator or an english teacher or literally anything within the language fields, but then i realized i wouldn't be the best teacher out there and i was also scared of not having a stable job which i kinda need because i was never really planning on having a traditional family, so i thought hard about my future career and... kinda ended up right where i started?? basically, i'm planning on studying paramedicine, instead of general medicine because it's also one of the careers i wanted to do as a kid, u only need a bachelor's degree for it and i honestly think i wouldn't finish my studies if i were to study for more than that AND i can get a stable job out of it that i'm almost sure will be fulfilling and paid good enough for me to live somewhat comfortably

do i realize these r long af and that i give out info that wasn't asked?? yes, but this is my house (leave ur shoes at the front door, please and thank u)

#sheba tag <3 #delicris ask #ask game yayy

[tiffanylamps]

I am wondering how did JW get through the first couple days or weeks after DS’s and HGH’s arrest? We watched the drama for 16 episode then many developed the serious brainrot. What does it feel like for JW who has spent the last several months in the case, developed the deep relationship with DS and Manjang people, twisted and turned and endless late nights…then all of a sudden everything came to an end at that night…. Cannot imagine the hollowness he must have felt. How did he get through with just himself ? I bet Hyuk must be there for him but must still be very very hard. I am wondering how YJG and SHK feel after this project. Have they experienced similar withdrawal like us? #mental-dump #just-want-to-chat-with-someone #it-is-good-to-see-jw-smile-after-a-year-but-he-must-have-gone-through-a-lot-of-xxx

Firstly, thank you for your message. I appreciate that you took time out of your day to contact me <3

So... Heartbreak interlude/Post-Canon Han Joo Won? The man of my (albeit minor) worries and concerns? The small baby cherub himself that... gosh, simply put, he needs therapy.

Let's get into it. I'm going to overshare my headcanons and hopefully give satisfactory answers to your questions along the way...

[grab all of the snacks and stay hydrated. I go on about it for about a decade because I don't know how to stfu. As always, excuse my dyslexia pls]

[EDIT 12/07/22: I added some more thoughts because i cannot be stopped... someone stop me pls]

Okay, firstly, look at that gif, look at the Joo Won we are being presented in the ending scenes and tell me he's okay. He looks so worn out, emotionally suffocated; as if he has put all of his emotions into a glass jar and has been huffing on it just to get a hit. Joo Won is vein and yet, he hasn't had a haircut, he's wearing the same clothes, he has bags under his eyes, he walks with a shyness that isn't like him, etc, etc.

Han Joo Won is a confident (not to be confused with his arrogance) man. We do not see that confidence at the end of ep. 16. I read his body language as someone who has been strung up to dry, through his own doing. He has spent an (almost) year emotionally self-flagellating because of what he did. Joo Won is semi-responsible/directly involved in three people's murders. The guilt must be weighing a tonne on him. That, including his overwhelming feelings of guilt/complicated feelings toward Dong Sik... well, I don't think he would be dealing with it in a healthy way.

Joo Won doesn't scream like he's a "i go to therapy and take my meds and openly talk about my trauma in a healthy constructive way, whilst learning to slowly forgive myself" kind of guy. Quite the opposite.

(yes, hit your chest with a loaded gun whilst you have an anxiety attack... people, his finger is on the trigger!!! what are we going to do with his man?)

How did JW get through the first couple days or weeks after DS’s and HGH’s arrest? (my thoughts only, based on my wild imagination and lack of knowledge) Joo Won was one of the lead investigators in the national /international scandal of the decade: the murder and cover-up case of Lee Yu Yeon, involving the lead suspect, General Commissioner of South Korea's police force, Han Ki Hwan. He was not the arresting officer but he was a leading detective of that case, working undercover/behind everyone's backs with his colleague from the Inspection Inquiry department at headquarters (from my understanding, it's basically Internal Affairs), who also happens to be the deceased twin brother. [He's also the arresting officer for Lee Chang Jin, Park Jung Je, Jo Gil Goo, and Do Hae Won. that's a lot of paperwork and a lot of court hearings.] Yeeeah..... that's a sticky situation. I fully believe that the South Korean version of the CPS (crown prosecution service) would have wanted Joo Won off that case as quickly as they could because his involvement will make it very messy in court. [Personally, I think HKH would have a solid appeal and I think it might even go through because of Joo Won and Dong Sik's handling of the case. A half-decent lawyer could make a meal out of the relationships/dynamics at play here.] He is also the arresting officer of his partner/ his father's arresting officer... Which is just... yeeeeeeeah. a. lot. So, he'll be doing a lot of paperwork, following procedures, answering SO many questions and I think, just going through the motions, completely and utterly numb to it all. Emotionally, he would have checked out in order to assure he brings justice to the victims and their families.

But that emotional numbness won't last for long...

I fully believe he would become a media sensation but not because he wants to be. I think the press would follow him around and dig every ounce of his life as they can, so they can sell more papers/get more clicks regarding HKH's case. (they follow him to and from work, sit outside his flat, find all of his favourite spots, contact everyone and anyone who could have dirt on him... basically, make his life a living hell). Also, the fact that Joo Won is handsome and annoying is a factor. He was also correct about the Manyang serial killer, investigated his own father and arrested his partner- gosh, well, there's a lot to be said about him.

(come on, the insta pages created in his honour would be bountiful. he has nice clothes, great hair, that face, a nice arse that doesn't quit, and a funny personality... He's the young "star" of a modern Shakespearean scandal. it's bound to happen.)

So, I think he would be harassed by the media/public throughout the duration of his father's trial. He'll be ostracized by MANY people within the police force because he's uncovered the extent of the institutional corruption. He'll be a very busy boy, who is on the edge of falling apart 24/7 because life is a lie/gone to shit.

How did he get through with just himself? I bet Hyuk must be there for him but must still be very very hard.

Okay, so let's get to my headcanons and talk about my juicy (unhealthy) theories of what Joo Won's (almost) year away could have looked like.

It's either he:

He works very hard and keeps his head down. He's quiet and tries his best. He applies himself to prove that he's not his father's son. Perhaps, over time, he reconnects with his mother's side of the family and that helps him develop an identity outside of his father's shadow. Or.... my preferred theory... (it's dramatic, just HJW)

Joo Won is a fucking mess. He is someone who cares more than the average person, he holds himself to a very high standard and is his own worst enemy. He is suffocating with guilt, it drenches him to the point he is soaking; heavy and unable to move. His day-to-day life is a slug that he endures because it is the right thing to do. But at night, or when he's alone, he's a trainwreck. I believe Joo Won has substance abuse issues (as hinted with his drinking in the show) and I think that would get much worse post canon/the interlude. Joo Won drinks to punish/numb himself, he drinks alone and during the day. We never see him drunk but that could be because he's very good at controlling that side of himself... Well, as someone who has control issues like him (wanting to be in control but also, has a very bad temper/easily loses control with the right pressure/if Dong Sik pushes his buttons), what if something so traumatic happened to him that it forces his self-control out the window? What then?

(this boy loves to punish himself. He's a masochist, I tell ya. Maybe he'll get into BDSM, who knows? it might be cathartic for him; losing control in a controlled setting)

I think he would allow the sides of himself that he's been repressing his entire life to come exploding out. It's messy, ugly, and painful but germination isn't a pretty process. It's a cold undertaking that happens alone, in the dark corners of one's mind, and doesn't always succeed first-try. But like many seedlings, Joo Won can survive in the dark and has an abundance of perseverance. He just needs to spread his roots and keep reaching toward the sun; with patience, he will eventually see the sky.

But he can't do it alone.

There are three important men in Joo Won's life:

His father: Han Ki Hwan

His partner: Lee Dong Sik

His other: Kwon Hyuk

He sent one to prison (who gave him massive daddy issues, let's be honest), he arrested the second (who he had a complicated/queer-coded relationship with) and that just leaves one behind. One left out of three... and you know what? I think in pure Han Joo Won style, he would have become desperate, compulsive and obsessive over Hyuk.

(there aren't enough gifs of Hyuk. It's a crime. I love him so very much.)

They are the remaining sons of a dying dynasty*; a defamed house that is burning down to the ground, ignited by the molotov cocktail that Joo Won threw himself.... lit with the aid of his partner. HE WOULD BECOME SO RELIANT ON HYUK, I can't even begin to explain it.

*someone play Dynasty - Rina Sawayama

Hyuk would become his everything. He would do anything; he would self-sabotage to hell and back if it meant he got to keep the only person left to him. (his last remaining family member) Hyuk is his friend, his forced rival, his pseudo brother, his sore spot, his sweet spot, and someone (depending on your interpretation of the text) he may felt some non-platonic feelings for, at some point in time (i.e, adolescent crush/sexuality awakening/first love kind of situation.... they gave each other funny looks, okay? don't blame me, the Han family is weird!) Joo Won means a lot to Hyuk. He would LOVE Joo Won relying on him, so he would really step up. [[ I think that in the future, this would cause tension between Hyuk and Dong Sik (kind of like: I picked up the pieces you left, bitch. ) ]]

Anyway, anyway, anyway, in summation: I think Joo Won will have a horrible time of it. He would be so focused on keeping himself accountable that he'll end up punishing himself through self-destructive means. He would reach a point where Hyuk is like "enough is enough" and drags Joo Won's self-pitying arse home and sets him straight (lol). Joo Won would try to reconnect with his Lee family (his mother's family) either physically, or privately/mentally, so he can try to find his true identity (outside of his Han heritage/father). I think they'll be a lot of self-discovery, punishment, and an explosive release of 28 years worth of tension. He'll make many mistakes and it'll be a very sad and lonely process. But through Hyuk's guidance and his own need to carry on, he'll learn to grow and uphold his promise: to never treat anyone the way he treated Dong Sik (never hurt ds again). (ep. 12, 34-ish minutes in) I fully expect him to gradually (over many years) finally accept to go to therapy but I think it would take a very troubling (police) case to get him there. I also believe that it would take years for him and Dong Sik to get to a point where they could even consider exploring what the hell they had going on. They need a lot of time to heal and grow; to accept and forgive each other, and themselves.

I LOVE the idea of them being messy idiots for years. Who continuously make mistakes and drive the other insane. But they both stubbornly stay by each other's side like glue because they're cut from the same cloth. (Come on, let's be real, has Joo Won been ever been this comfortable with anyone else? So open and real, so himself in every way; even the ugly and immature parts. Dong Sik has seen every side of him and still accepts him. beautiful. and Joo Won wants to be in Dong Sik's life so desperately, he wants to be good for him and bring him happiness- he wants to make his life easier. according to the script, Dong Sik sees Joo Won as his saviour...... that's heavy. what a beautiful bond) No one understands them the way they understand one another. No one will accept them the way they accept each other. No one else will have the shared trauma and therefore, the patience they need to be with one another. I love the idea of them developing a deep friendship. I read their dynamic as romantic, so I would suspect that at some point along the way, they would explore that side of it. Whether they could make it work or not... I don't know (I hope so)

I am wondering how YJG and SHK feel after this project. Have they experienced similar withdrawal like us?

I'm not too sure. But considering Shin Ha Kyun received an award for his wonderful performance and made a rare appearance on social media to celebrate the 1-year anniversary of Beyond Evil, says that he hasn't forgotten about it. Yeo Jin Goo, on the other hand, can't escape it. He's currently starring in Link: Eat, Love, Kill which is basically a (headache of a show that has massive problems with its tone but is still very charming) het romantic comedy version of Beyond Evil, including basically the same storyline, just told from a different perspective, even including a few of the same actors. So... I don't think he's going to be forgetting any time soon. [We need a season 2, mainly so we get more of these wonderful characters and 10/10 cast/crew. but also because we didn't get an editorial fashion shoot with these two (SHK & YJG) and that is a crime. I said it, someone needs to do time. Joking aside, I don't think they ever will (make a season 2) because if they were to follow jwds's story, they would have to explain some stuff... the actors could see, the audience can see, and the creative team leaned in towards it... so, do they have the bravery to make the show queer? like 100% canon no-second guessing queer. I don't think so.]

So.... yeah. Before I write a 20-million-words about Han Joo Won (which would make me more pathetic than him lol), I'm going to leave this here. Joo Won is a delicious character with so much depth that he can be interpreted in many different ways. I think that's just wonderful.

Just because I see him as a little weirdo who uses kinky sex, drugs and alcohol to punish/explore himself, whilst pretending everything is fine on the outside, and still somehow making it to work (just) on time, *inhale* doesn't mean you or anyone else has to see him that way. He's fab, this show is fab, and you are fab.

Thank you for your message. I hope this answers your questions. I also love talking about this show, so thanks for choosing me to be the person you chat with.

[EDIT: I should include that I think the majority of Joo Won's grieving and destructive behaviour will happen during the almost year-long interlude. I do believe that once he knows that Dong Sik doesn't blame him and actually still feels affection for him, the weight will be lifted and he go down the path of self-forgiveness. He'll mess up and be silly along the way but I fully can see him one day living a relatively normal life, living with someone (preferably a certain someone) who understands and supports him. His future is FULL of love and discovery.]

As always, if anyone wants to add to the conversation, please feel free to do so. I'm sure many will disagree with me and that's okay, this is just my opinion of one of my favourite fictional weirdos.

May he grow and learn to love himself (he deserves so much love, bless him).

Bye for now!

#beyond evil #jtbc beyond evil #han juwon #han joo won #beyond evil analysis #beyond evil replies #beyond evil meta commentary #jwds #lee dongsik

[pokimoko]

summer winter reading/writing/arting tag

Thank you so much for tagging me @thealterscrolls in your post, you know I love an excuse to overshare about things I like and/or are working on. Though, I'll be nice and keep each list to a maximum of 8 cause otherwise I would go overboard and that would make this already long post longer than necessary. Alright, let's get into it:

Describe one creative WIP project you're planning to work on over the summer: No summer for me for a while but hey, winter for me personally is a great time to work on stuff cause excursions outside the house are at a minimum, and I don't have to feel bad about being inside all day when the sun's already going down at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Anyway, I'm hoping to work on my In the Absent Place prequel slash companion fic focusing on Jake and the events that lead into that story. It's been an idea I've wanted to do for months and I have indeed started on it but I keep getting distracted from it by other ideas and fandoms (and also working on zine fics). But I do want to finish it. I also have a fic for The Owl House and one for Wolf 359 that I keep coming back to (aka the fics that have been distracting me), so we'll see if I ever get round to finishing those.

Recommend a book: When it comes to reading books, I am both very easily entertained (I rarely give out 1 or 2 stars) and extremely reserved with what I consider a great book, to me at least. I have given only a few books 5 stars. These are those few books: • 'Project Hail Mary' by Andy Weir • 'Piranesi' by Susanna Clarke • 'Loveless' by Alice Oseman • 'Radio Silence' by Alice Oseman • 'Elatsoe' by Darcie Little Badger • 'Good Omens' by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett • 'The Witch's Heart' by Genevieve Gornichec • 'His Dark Materials' series by Philip Pullman

Recommend a fic: There are so many great fics I've read that are lost to time because I'm stupid and rarely bookmark stuff (it's that same 5 star problem, y'see). But here's some I have bookmarked or remember really liking: • 'Mens Rea' by yellow_caballero (Moon Knight) • 'the dotted line' by zippe (Moon Knight) • 'An Evolving Situation' by whiskyrunner (Moon Knight, ongoing) • 'Puddlejumping' by Davechicken (Moon Knight) • 'Misguided Ghosts' by petrichorishly (Lucifer) • 'Thermotemporal Equations' by blinkytreefrog (Captain America) • 'No Echo' by sh0rtwave (Wolf 359) • 'you were the song that i'd always sing, you were the light that fire would bring' by rnelody (The Owl House)

Recommend Music: I like listening to a lot of genres, but I think indie pop is probably my go-to, so pretty much all of these will fall under that. Here are some of the songs I've really been enjoying lately: • 'Word to the Trees' by whatever mike • 'Christmas in June' by AJR • 'Kelly Time' by Owl City • 'Bite Down (Bastille vs. HAIM)' by Bastille • 'Jigsaw' by Conan Gray • 'Bloody! Bloody!' by Junie & TheHutFriends • 'Serotonin' by girl in red • 'Talking to Myself' by Will Jay

Share one piece of advice: Nothing you learn is a waste of time. Nothing. Doesn't matter how obscure or pointless it feels like it is, everything comes in handy some way or another eventually (and, hey, even if it doesn't, it can still be fun to have that knowledge). So learn! Learn whatever you want, however big or small. Learn that fictional language or lore from your favourite story. Learn about a show you've never watched from an hour long video essay. Learn about that obscure historical event you found in a Wikipedia rabbit hole at 2AM. Learn not because you have to but because you want to and because you're interested. Because no time is ever wasted when you've gained something new.

That's it for me. I'll tag @pizzee, @yellowocaballero, @theophagism, and @mockspector. Consider it my not-so-sneaky way to learn about your projects and/or favourite books/fics. ;)

#tag game #my stuff #personal #book recs #fic recs #song recs #long post #this piece of poki advice brought to from that one time in highschool that: #a) i spent a week and bit learning how to read/write in cyrillic because i liked bucky barnes and I wanted to write/say the code words #in russian (and yes I still vaguely remember how to do that; can I speak or understand russian outside of that though? haha nope) #and b) learnt the origin of the word 'robot' for a sci-fi story I was wrting for one of english classes which hardly helped with writing it #both of which came together to help me on a visual arts exam when the artwork i had to examine had 'robota' written in cyrillic #that single moment made me realise that knowledge and random facts have funny ways of helping you at the most unexpected times #so now i don't feel bad for going down rabbit holes or for learning about things that don't have any apparent practical use #also researching stuff is fun i'm sorry i'm a nerd #and yes before you ask 'radio silence' by alice oseman was 50% of the inspiration behind the itap(listening to silence on the radio) title #it's on my bookshelf. i looked at it. went hm. okay. i think i can work with that

[catwingsathena]

5, 19, 21 for the writing meta asks?

Thank you for the ask, friend! You sure do know how to pick these, huh 😂

5. What character you’re writing do you most identify with?

Thinking about the Jailbreak Squad, it’s funny, because Jon, Mike, and Karolina are the three I tend to relate to (and project on) the most, but like… in extremely different ways, because they’re very different people! And yet the things they do have in common are very much places I can relate: smart, stubborn, intense, autistic, nerdy, and incapable of doing anything with less than 110% commitment. There’s… I don’t know how to say it, a directness to them? Almost a purity, though not at all in the moral sense. What I mean is that they are what they are at all times and at full volume. You know they’re not being manipulative when they talk to you, not because they’d have any issue with it on principle, but because they’re just flat-out incapable. Sincere by lack of other options. Which is SUCH a me mood. It’s not that I wouldn’t lie to you, I’m just really bad at it…

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing?

Thistle, you know the answer to this question. You know all of the many answers to this question. However, as per your request, I will expose my faults to the world, because I love you and it will objectively be funny.

My characters breathe to express emotion way too often (this becomes especially annoying when I’m writing about characters who don’t need to breathe) (confession time: I established early on in A World of His Own that Jon still takes deep breaths to calm himself, even though he doesn’t need to, because I knew some would inevitably slip through even if I tried not to have him do that, so I decided to just give myself an excuse). In particular, people take deep breaths, or deep, shaky breaths, or deep, shuddering breaths… you get the picture. Like many writers, I overuse nods and head shakes. People also say or do things slowly a lot. (As you would imagine, people in my fics nod slowly far more often than they should.) I’m much too fond of the words “wry” and “rueful,” which probably says as much about the kinds of characters I gravitate towards as it does about my writing, but still. People “give” expressions or sounds (“she gave a shaky smile”) instead of just doing them. I do, in fact, overuse the phrase “in fact” in that particular construction. There’s more, but that’ll do for now.

As for tropes, plots, characters, et cetera… sorry, disclosing my word choice sins on this webbed site was quite enough oversharing for one night :)

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well in?

I’ve definitely imagined some Jailbreak Squad comics! You could do super fun things with perspective for the Vast people and Helen’s corridors, I bet, and Helen would have a great time interacting with panel boundaries/sound effects/etc. and ambiguously breaking the fourth wall. Jon is also an occasional fourth wall breaker, and you could do some really cool playing around with text boxes for him, I feel like? Incorporating speech into the images in various ways, having an entire panel background that’s just words, that sort of thing. I actually have some little scenes in my head as comics, including but not limited to “may the gods ensure your suffering,” “go to horny jail,” “SoL,” “squeaky,” the carnival not-date, and the Pacific Rim movie night idea we were talking about. I also think Do Not Ignore the Mermaids (for everyone who isn’t Thistle, Harriet and Oliver’s first meeting) could be FANTASTIC as a comic.

Once again, thank you for the asks, my dear! Hope my answers were satisfactory 🙂

#answered asks #my writing #tma au #the jailbreak verse #thethistlegirl

[stinkyme]

OMG STINKY!!! MY FAVORITE PERSON TO EXCHANGE HORNY THOUGHTS WITH!!!!!! I know, nobody asked and please excuse my oversharing, but I think I kinda solved the mystery of my preference for the whole Dom/Sub thing.

I think the point is, that I would especially rather be on top when it comes to mean, bratty, cocky, dominant, etc. people, like Jouno or Dazai. Let’s be honest, I think they wouldn’t respect me and instead tease and degrade me all the time, and I don’t think I’d trust them or be willing to be vulnerable around them, especially like this (I’m still gonna keep reading smut with them x sub!reader, it’s still hot). I want to avoid feeling inferior in any way, So I’d prefer to put them in their place to assert dominance, if you know what I’m talking about.

Perhaps it’s also because I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like casual flings and stuff, I’d catch feelings asap I think I need an emotional connection to that person, them to care about me, and I don’t see Jouno or Dazai to be willing to do that (also, I don’t feel like I’m good enough for them, I think they’re out of my league).

Howeverrrr…if it were a person who would respect me, love me, praise me and not degrade me, then I’d let them top me (after topping them). For example, I don’t see Odasaku (*I’m sweating*) as a sub, and I’d trust him with my life and let him ruin me tbh Or sigma (*screaming*), despite my general preference for me being on top, I wouldn’t mind seeing him be the dominant one (I mean did you see how stern and composed he is when it comes to his beloved casino? Top me). I hate how in most smut fics he’s being portrayed as an overly innocent, oblivious, hyper subby baby who doesn’t know what the word sex means (I know he’s “only three years old”, leave me alone pls). I’m sure he knows what he’s doing, and he’d be super respectful, loving and polite.

I hope i kinda managed to get my point across…Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk everyone, nobody wanted to know what kind of nsfw thoughts are going through my head, but I’m letting you know anyways!

Greetings from Horny Jail :)))

I KEEP TALKING ABOUT THAT SIGMA PANEL WITH CASINO LIKE HELLO????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CAN'T DO NOTHING, HE IS INNOCENT UWU BABY??? MY MAN TOLD THEM TO DISAPPEAR BEFORE HE TOSSES THEM OUT BY THEIR TAILS??? THEN WENT AFTER THEM WITH A GUN AND WORSE. H E L L OOOOOOOOOO, HE LOOKED SO GOOD NGL AND ALSO HE WOULD BE POLITE, ROMANTIC AND SOFT BUT NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, DUDE LEARNED EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYONE IN CASINO, THEY TRULY THINK HE WOILD BE LIKE *_* WHEN IT COMES TO SEX, NAHHHH :3

ODA IS A SOFT DOM!!! ODA IS SO EJSJSJSJSKS, HE WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO, WHEN TO DO, HOW TO DO, HE WOULD CHECK UP ON YOU AND GIVE LITERALLY THE BEST AFTER CARE EVER

as for Jouno and Dazai......I don't think you are out of their legaue by any means Hio please, however catching feelings for Dazai does sound nasty since yk he is a bit emotionally unavaliable :3 However, Jouno, I think he is able to compromise a lot actually, as much as he is considered sadistic, he is only sadistic with people he considers criminals, but we can see towards his coworkers, towards that old lady - he definitely shows different side to him :) So I think Jouno would be quite respectful actually, he would most likely compromise with you, whether you want this/don't want this, etc, after all he is a man who fights for justice :3 but for real now, it would be fun to see him submissive and as much as he might be against it in the start, he would try it out eventually :D and he would definitely respect boundaries ngl <3 but he would look best submissive :3 <3

but also Dazai, Jouno and him have one thing in common and that's being in control, craving control all the time and usually people who are constantly in control give it up in bed yk what i mean :3 so don't give up on sub Dazai, he is vers much capable :D the only issue with Dazai is that he prefers flings probably and you do not, however Jouno?? I am kind of tore about him because I don't see him as a man who goes around and fucks anything and anyone ngl, I think he needs certain connection 100% :D

I WILL BAIL YOU FROM HORNY JAIL MY SWEET HIO!!! I AM COMING 🚣🚣🚣🚣

#stinkyanswers #my sweet hio <3 #SIGMA IS NOT PURE UWU BOY I CANT WITH THAT CHARACTERIZATION #NGL I LOVE MY BOY BUT ATSUSHI IS MORE CLUELESS ABOUT IT #BUT DAZAI AND JOUNO WOULD BE ABLE TO COMPROMISE IN A SENSE #ESPECIALLY JOUNO :3 #TRUST ME #AND YOU ARE NOT OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE I SWEAR HIO I WILL FART ON YOU #ODA AS SOFT DOM M W A H <3333 #AND I AM BAILING YOU OUT BABY!!!!!!!

[ruiination]

RULES

topaz. he/they. 25+ blogs: warrior of light. / personal / makoto yuki

Meta Rules:

I am a person and am bipolar. I have episodes of intense depression and also moments of extreme anxiety/paranoia. During these extremes, I will shut myself out from others. This is because I know I can be harmful when it comes to my thinking. I can be incredibly negative and accidentally vent or overshare. I can become irrationally fearful or obnoxious. I am in treatment for these things, and the biggest thing I know is that I can be harmful and be easily harmed. I have had a variety of experiences where I have accidentally crossed lines or slipped into toxic bullshit. I have been manipulated and hurt during these episodes. The best thing for me in these situations is to give me space. I need to protect myself during these times. I need to be alone. I am reluctant to be open because of past experiences. I know I cannot act rationally and can make stupid choices. I can become snippy or traumadump. I can allow people to walk on my boundaries during these periods. I have been manipulated multiple times to do and share things I am not comfortable with. On that subject, I am always open to talking or hearing people out. But if I am having an episode of depression, I will not be capable of listening to people vent. When I am manic, I get incredibly anxious or hyper. The anxiety can turn into downright paranoia which is why I cannot handle vagueblogging and stuff during those times. I am not making excuses. I am just letting everyone know that I sometimes need space. I need patience. I may still write. But I will not be able to speak much ooc. It is not personal. But sometimes I just struggle. It is a struggle a lot of the time. I wanted to add this into my rules even if it makes me so nervous to do it.

I try my best to tag triggers, so if you need something tagged let me know.

Sexism and racism will not be tolerated, you will be blocked. If you post anything transphobic, homophobic, or biphobic, I will block YOU

If you ship adult/minor ships or condone that stuff, do not interact.

I can and will block if people make me uncomfortable.

I will never write incest.

If you are here because of Jay or whatever, here is my post about his little stunt and the photo of my original DNI (which i posted as a screenshot from my Clive blog so it wouldn't so up on searches) is on the bottom of the page. ♥ I am thankful for all of the support, but I do not want to talk about him. If you have found one of his blogs, you can feel free to let me know.

In terms of triggers, I try my best to keep up. But it's not easy for me to tag not standard ones. If you are triggered by dogs, violence, mental illness, and childhood trauma this may not be the blog for you.

If you constantly delete/move your blogs, I might be hesitant to interact with you.

I am white irl and I do write a few poc. If you see me so anything wrong and you are a poc, feel free to educate me. I'm always trying to learn and be better. I have a zero tolerance policy about racism. I will not speak over poc. If they tell me something is a microagression or downright racist, I'm only going to listen. I can't possibly know their lived experience and trust their perspective. Please reach out if you see anything from me I need to correct!

I'm queer. I am genderfluid with a masc lean. Assigned female at birth. I have a zero tolerance policy about about hate toward lgbt+ people and misogyny. I will say something to you if it seems unintentionally done. But yeah.

I am incredibly uncomfortable around much of the following fandoms: final fantasy xvi , danganronpa, and baldur's gate 3. Still willing to follow or interact but I may be hesitant.

Interaction Rules:

Asks can ALWAYS be replied to.

All muses are crossover friendly and OC friendly.

Do not force me to ship or smut.

I'm mutuals only.

If you are a multi muse and send an ask or like a starter call without specifying what muse you are sending from, I won't answer. If you don't specify a muse you want from me when you send asks, I won't answer.

I don't use icons for certain muses. I do not have time to make icons for 60+ muses.

I have 4 different muse sections which are to indicate activity. Primary muses are the most active and accepting. where each section below it becomes less active or accepting. I also added a feature muse to indicate the character I have the most muse for right now which will be the MOST active.

I will no longer be writing smut rps. It doesn't make me comfortable for a variety of reasons. I may do some on discord and I am happy to talk about those sorts of headcanons, but I have discovered that I have hang-ups with writing things like that that I have not been able to push past. I will enact a fade to black policy for now. I am truly sorry. I have only had a handful of partners I have written this type of content with and all but one have resulted in the same outcome that is just a personal failing of mine. I will continue to try to work through this. But for now, please try to be understanding. If you want more of an explanation, feel free to ask in dms/ims.

Shipping/Mains Rules

If you are a main or ship partner, I need to be able to kinda talk to you ooc. I only will be mains with someone that speaks with me ooc.

If you MAINLY want to smut/ship and that's the only reason you are here, this blog isn't for you.

Mains get priority.

If you become mains or start shipping with be and then never reply or talk to me, I'll remove you from my list. Shipping or being mains should be the start and not the end. That status is not a trophy to be put on your shelf. Exceptions can obviously be made and I'm always okay with low activity or extended breaks. I just ask for communication when possible.

I will typically not be exclusive.

Credits

Icon Templates: cassiaslair, somresources, calisources, paletterph, thunderousmemes, stephysource, biscuit, supersources

Coloring psds: abstraect, somresources, tattooedtaemin, calisources, freerps, biscuit.

Caps: capsource

dividers: here, and paletterph

Mains

@nivaera.

@cagedfirebird

@unrealization

#( meta ↷ rules. )

[cat-arsenal]

im shaking the can

🔫 talk about lasko (please and thank you)

(Shall I tag you in the post(s) that will definitely be made after I have absorbed the audios I missed (mostly one of them?))

The irony of the struggle of loving a character who I see a lot of myself in is not lost on me! Traits I find endearing in fictional characters and other people I find annoying in myself so I'm working on that!

Lasko as a dude is so genuine--as, indeed, are all the DAMN Bois (eventually. Gavin)--and that's important to me. Babe has no filter, though, bless him, he tries. Darling, precious, beautiful chatterbox who knows things and wants to share those things with people and wants to know what other people know. He rambles and overshares and he's a little nosy but not in gossipy way, he just wants to know!

Had some bad childhood that probably made him even more of a gentle and caring person who sticks his neck out for strangers. Loves his friends! So much! Loves DnD and has far too many characters and dice (same).

(Certainly projecting-->) Autistic, ADHD, a little OCD and plenty of anxiety, imposter syndrome, insomnia, cold hands, Bad Posture, Some Kind of Gender.

I’m obsessed with the way any time something horny is brought up he’s scandalized at first, thinks about it for a moment, and then is like “yeah let’s do it.” He’s characterized, in an out-of-universe, as shy, but he also goes for it, you know? He can be so sly so suddenly and it always takes my breath away. Examples: 1) The fully-canonical first time he meets you, asks “which 7-Eleven?”, and then says he’s gonna go somewhere because he’s “thirsty.” Excuse me? Whore (Affectionate). 2) The end of his confession audio where he suggests you keep kissing him to help him stop swearing. Sir? Sir.

(Incoming Thirst)

His laugh? Heavenly. His whines? Immaculate. I feel like the amount that I’m into Lasko says Pretty Much Everything about me lmao like it’s a little embarrassing. I like the other dudes but fuck, man. IRL I’m Severely Asexual but this silly imaginary wind boy fucks me UP and I wanna give him the world. All the worlds. The horny and non-horny. I wanna give this man kisses and dinners and snuggles and vibrators and new ties and hugs and a place to rest, you know? I dunno. This is kind of incoherent but there you have it! There’s always more. The depths of my love for Lasko uhhh just keep goin’ but I am So Tired

#cacti! #read more #AS IF THE POST WASN'T GONNA BE HUGE WHO AM I KIDDING #swearing #suggestive #toward the end #redacted asmr #redacted lasko

[500wordsormore]

Dear Tumblr Diary, how do I tell my family I don't want to be near them anymore?

Ok I procrastinated posting for a while, and now I'm finally giving in. I'd wanted to ~*cultivate a theme and aesthetic*~ and practice writing on big important topics that I cared about. Thanks to my chronic perfectionism, that didn't happen so now it's my garbage can where I can infodump and move on with my life because god DAMN, I need to get this off my chest. If I can't get my own family issues off my chest how am I ever going to get my nuanced takes on race and religion out? It's probably best if I shoot myself in the foot by oversharing my own personal flaws straightaway rather than not planning on doing it at all?

The Apple Watch was designed with the intention of removing the water that would get inside of it, not preventing water from ever entering. That's not any kind of reverence or praise for a brand or product, btw, it's just a good example of practical planning.

So, I'd like to whine about my family for a little while.

They fucking suuuuuuck-ughh they're the most annoying passive-aggressive ingrates in my life and I don't want to visit them. Our dynamic is, in fairness, complex, but it is not complicated, as it were. There's a lot of history to be sure, but the thing is that none of it is particularly challenging or unique. By their own insistence, we are all perfectly mundane "normal" people. To be clear, we are not. Chronic illness of body and mind runs on both sides, and I'm 50:50 mixed so there is definitely some real baggage to unpack, but again, none of it is beyond the grasp of allegedly rational adults.

The problem, is that the key to the metaphorical baggage's lock, is their terminal martyr complexes and passive aggression. And I mean terminal when I say/write it. My grandparents have been unwell for a while, and over the last winter holiday season it was revealed to me just how bad it's become.

My grandmother has lived her whole life with the "classic" anxiety/depression combo you naturally get from being raised in the worst time for women with chronic illnesses. Her suicidal ideations have been roundly dismissed by my entire family because "she's always been like that", and that has always made me nauseous. Over Christmas dinner my aunt and uncle so casually discussed how she has stopped taking her daily medication that she needs to survive, and has been flowing in and out of the hospital almost monthly, and I finally lost it.

I shouted and cried and jabbed my finger at them and told them I was sickened by their behavior. I lamented them, and my mother. I bitterly insisted that they had raised me better than this, that we, their children, would never stand for this treatment to befall them. And as I looked around at their blithely patient faces I choked and realized that nothing I said registered to them. They blinked placidly and smiled and tried to gently explain to me why their negligence was excusably normal my own hearing clouded.

Ever since then A darkness has grown in me. I have hated myself for hating myself for hating myself for not being able to admit this, but it must be said: I don't want to be near them anymore. I still love them, in a kind of biologically obligatory way, but I can't stand their presence. I want none of my time to be shared with their wastes of breath. I am openly neurodivergent in most spaces, but not in my own family's home. It's taken time for me to realize and accept, but I now understand that this is indicative of a bigger problem.

My family members are the kind of performative "normals" that reek of abnormality and denial. Their pathological devotion to the mainstream is the only visible passion they ever display, and its fierceness rivals that of my own hyperfixations. They want to pretend that they're pretending that "ThEre'S nOtHiNG wRonG WitH bEInG Different(tm)" when in reality they are the different ones. They're fucking kooks, weirdos raised by religious zealots who had a late start on real life. My white mom has two brown daughters, that look nothing like her. "Normal" was never an option.

I've been manically giggling all week in anticipation of Easter dinner, mocking their solipsistic tone in a nasal whine: "oh nooooo! We don't know how to use our words and now our parents are slowly dying in front of our eyes and there's nothing to be done for it! If only we had learned the English words for emotions then maybe we could have communicated them." and I think to myself: "gods, what is wrong with me?"

My plan is to openly use my vape at this even. I can either mask my neurodivergence or my THC use, but not both anymore. i don't even know if this is 500 words. Wish me luck.

[emberprince]

hello... answer ALL of the halloween ask meme questions... OR the first 3 if you dont want to do them all

you fool... you’ve made me too powerful

Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?

- this is a hard one, I’d probably have to say no because the only thing I’m looking forward to about death is not having to, like, deal with the planet when there’s little oxygen left and it’s hot as fuck and dying for real. or when the sun explodes or some shit. I wanna be done with my time on earth before it becomes hell. I also think I would be SUPER fucked up if I had to outlive all of my loved ones because I’m so emotional I literally cannot handle it

Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?

- ok this is a little gay but... probably You...

Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

- I think it would be nice if the greed levels in the world were just... waaayy lower. I think like 90% of our problems revolve around greed so maybe if people stopped hoarding money and killing the environment that would be nice

Ghost: Do you have any regrets?

- doesn’t everyone? I think I’m okay with where I’m at, though

Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?

- I am a very independent person but I think everyone makes their suggestions from time to time

Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?

- I HOPE SO???? eternal sleep sounds kinda sexy though I am so tired

Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?

- you...... and sasha and zuko :( I also miss being near peyton and aredin, we never get to hang out anymore because I’m like thousands of miles away

Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do?

- I would move into another, less shitty residence hall and live there in secret because they won’t let me move right now. anything else would have moral consequences too great for me to do it

Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself?

- absolutely silent and usually melancholy or anxious as fuck. always deep in thought or texting you frantically so my loneliness doesn’t overwhelm me, I overthink a lot and get sad about shit if I’m left by myself for too long

Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love?

- if they don’t love me back, I wouldn’t go very far at all, but if they did, then I would do just about anything

Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself?

- I’m really self conscious about my face and my body and I wish I was prettier. I also wish my voice was more normal instead of, like, gravelly or whatever the fuck it sounds like, and I wish I didn’t have anxiety. wish the mole above my lip would go away

Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?

- DON’T make me think about this i would be crying and hugging them the whole time but I’d also try to help them do anything they wanted to do in their last day. I would probably confess all kinds of shit

Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?

- I would make housing allow me to move to an apartment this year instead of next year so I could finally spend time with my pets again and not drive 8 hours every weekend just to see them

Genie: If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?

- I would ask for my best friend’s chronic illness to go away forever

Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear?

- “hey can we talk?” or other anxiety-inducing shit, also things like “we were never friends” or whatever

Incubus: What would someone have to do to get in your pants?

- be semi-attractive, have a good sense of humor, have similar interests as me, probably be a girl rn because I am way too afraid of getting pregnant even with every single contraceptive method LEAVE ME ALONE im baby

Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?

- you....

- and also sasha and zuko

#answered #thank you for giving me an excuse to overshare #i would die for you #adven-t