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#that is... quite philosophical
ineedmorepronouns · 3 months
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had my first intesnse shift the other day. it wasn't 963 or bright though, it was a fictionflicker. NiLU from Len'en Project. god having a shift was so weird it lasted almost the full day. i just felt very apathetic, almost physically numb, and confused on how human mind's worked. since i was at school it was a very prominent though. humans everywhere. humans made 95% of everything i saw. i ended up having to go to the library. after i've gotten my book i ended up in the long empty hall. since no one was there, i decided to close my eyes. NiLU doesn't really have eyes(?) like, there's bandages around both of their eyes. but they do have a fabric thing with an eye on it that moves around but idk its weird. anyways, i just closed my eyes walking down the hall. in that moment it was the most blissful experience. having to slow down to make sure you don't trip, more in tune with the sounds around you. i made my way across the auditorium. band was playing music in there. i didn't know until i heard the trumpets and other instruments playing while passing by the door. it was beautiful. then during third period i swear i saw my hat and hair as that of NiLU's. i felt that i was wearing their cloak. i didn't understand that this was a shift or flicker until like 2 days later. but then i never felt like that again (for now, who knows). i mean for mr bright i guess i have mental shifts, but those really arent as intense as this was. nature seemed so... beautiful. ive also been questioning myself if im robothearted at all. also, len'en fandom, hi 🧍 i will make tom gijinka (on the uwom discord)
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vaguely-concerned · 4 months
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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oatbugs · 6 months
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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If you want to, Pep, you can imagine the clouds as different shapes! That always helps me pass the time when I’m outside. (Also your art is great and is one of the major fuel sources for my Pizza Tower HYPERFIXATION)
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Pep: "Rewot eht ni saw siht ekil gnihton... Em ot wen etiuq llits lla si ti. Sduolc eht... Yks eht..."
Pep: "Sgniht tnereffid hcus ees tey dna, yks emas eht ot pu kool llams dna taerg serutaerc lla... Tnatsnoc syawla tub ,gnignahc reverof ti si woh. Sruoloc ynam os dloh ti seod woh. Thgin eht nees evah I. Yad eht nees evah I."
Pep: "..."
Pep: "Azzip fo ecils a ekil skool eno taht...?"
Pep: "...!"
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Brick: "...?!"
Pep: "Kcirb, yrros, ho..."
Pep: "..."
Pep: "Oot ti nees evah dluoc yeht hsiw I. Ecin s'ti... Ssarg eht ekil I..."
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Pep: "Mrp?"
Pep: "Won retteb leef od I. Sdneirf eizarg, heh."
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mewtwo24 · 29 days
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You know idk if it's just me being oblivious af but mxtx sure does enjoy putting her protags through the trolley problem when it comes to her works huh /j
#mdzs#mxtx#i say this not to be critical but because she really does prove how time and again#people want a scapegoat and an easy target to blame#and so much of her work is abt proving how faulty these philosophical absolutes are--nothing is that simple.#literally the arguments made to put everything on wwx (at least for now) appear to be faulty at best#i mean sure sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth but like ;;;;;;;; the kid is just doing his best wtf#everyone out here like WWX IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU except for lwj and i'm just like#1. hes literally like 16 yrs old or smth#2. whether or not he stepped in during the cave scene was kind of a non-question??????#the wens were so clearly going to engage in egregeious violence regardless of the rationalizations that came after#pointing fingers is legitimately pointless and fallacious logic#if mianmian wasnt targeted theres really no guarantee smth similar wouldnt have happened#furthermore working tg and refusing to play by wens' rules was p much the only feasible option#lwj was young and afraid and had lost so much but he still had enough clarity to insist on working tg#i also really love what he said abt suffering bc its just true.#the way he claps back to his uncle by saying that nobody would be spared violence and atrocity#the only choice they had was to try to band tg and mitigate the dmg--basically 'war is hell'#i find it such a stark and lovely contrast to the common perception of others abt him#that lwj stands alone and thinks of no one else; quite the contrary#he's v self-contained and v disciplined but he's not indifferent to suffering or apathetic#i think so much of the natural love that blooms between wwx and lwj is rooted in their mutual desire to do good#wwx wants to help--he loves to see people smile. he would do anything to protect the ppl he loves#lwj is honestly the same--he's just more abt structure and stability#wwx is more spontaneous and more attuned to the people around him#im a little shocked that people werent able to tell lwj was just as obsessed with him#just bc wwx is loud and mischievous about his interest doesnt really???? to me mask the ways lwj is so responsive. also i ????????#still don't understand the mental gymnastics of madame jiang insisting it was all wwx's fault when she literally targeted wen's mistress ->#in retaliation???????????????? all this 'pick your battles what the fuck is wrong with you wwx' and she goes and instigates their wrath??#i mean idk fellas i was just sitting there like 'you could have handled this so many ways and you picked the TNT option. wat.'
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marta-bee · 1 year
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I’m re-reading Good Omens, or at least making a start at it, and I really don’t think I was prepared for how profoundly melancholy the opening scene is. You expect it to be, I don’t know, funny or even cute if the miniseries is what’s first in your mind, and that version is lovely.  But this? is soul-achingly beautiful.
"I'm not sure it's actually possible for you to do evil," said Crawly sarcastically. Aziraphale didn't notice the tone.
"Oh, I do hope so," he said. "I really do hope so. It's been worrying me all afternoon." They watched the rain for a while.
"Funny thing is," said Crawly. "I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn't the right thing to do, as well. A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing." He nudged the angel. "Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?"
"Not really," said Aziraphale. Crawly looked at the rain.
"No," he said, sobering up. "I suppose not."
Slate-black curtains tumbled over Eden. Thunder growled among the hills. The animals, freshly named, cowered from the storm.Far away, in the dripping woods, something bright and fiery flickered among the trees. It was going to be a dark and stormy night.
They’re not enemies. They’re not friends, either, but they’re there, together, figuring it out for the first time side by side. And it’s not funny, somehow. It’s not happy. It’s not even something to be angry about. it just kind of is. And they’re just kind of they. But they’re figuring it out side by side, and that seems a worthy kind of start.
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slashmagpie · 8 months
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Blood & Snow
Pt. II
Directory: {Pt. I} {Pt. III} {Pt. IV} {Pt. V} {Pt. VI} {Pt. VII} {AO3}
Day two for @hermithorrorweek! TWs for this chapter include: minor gore, body horror*, temporary character death
II. ENVIRONMENT
Scar and Tango make an odd pair.
Catching them together is a study in contrasts: Scar’s light against Tango’s dark, Scar’s loud against Tango’s quiet, Scar’s whimsy against Tango’s sarcasm. The theme park owner brightly welcoming you to the happiest place on Hermitcraft, and the dungeon master presiding over a subterranean labyrinth of fear and pain. Scar’s hunger for diamonds, and Tango’s dismissal of them. Scar’s tendency to distraction, and Tango’s unwavering focus that had led him to spend the better part of thirteen months in a cave, despite all of Scar’s attempts to drag him out of it.
And Scar had tried! He’d even succeeded, a few times. More often, he would just hang around and bother Tango while he worked, rambling about Star Wars or Disney or trains or updates or whatever while Tango coated his frosty fingers with redstone and made the occasional comment. And whilst to an outside observer, Scar would come across as an annoyance as he gushed about flowers and Tango rolled his eyes and pulled faces, he knows that they were both enjoying themselves. As different as Scar and Tango seem, they’re still friends.
And as different as they both are, they still have one thing in common: their love for atmosphere.
Because it’s one thing to make a build: it’s another to make an environment. It’s all about movement, and sound, and all the little additions that make a static picture of blocks come alive. And Tango has truly and utterly knocked it out of the park this season—Decked Out is the most alive build Scar has ever seen.
…It’s, uh. Not usually quite as alive as this though.
That’s the only way Scar can think to describe it, as he pushes himself back against the wall, heart pounding in his chest louder and faster than the dungeon’s heartbeat echoes around the walls. Just out of sight, a ravager grumbles, having lost its snack, and Scar heaves as he attempts to catch his breath. His fingers are sticky with berry juice as he presses another to his mouth, grimacing at the sweet taste as it mingles with the blood in his mouth. 
Behind him, the stone wall seems to quiver as he presses himself into it, not quite as solid as it should be. I’m imagining things, he tells himself, reaching back with a red-stained hand to feel the rough ridges of deepslate beneath his fingers. He lets out a shaky breath and draws himself up. Right. Back to work. His artefact should be just around this corner.
He glances back towards where he’d left the ravager, ahead to where his compass is pointing, and takes off running towards it.
His lungs burn, and his legs ache, and his head spins as he dives forwards, but he manages to, by some miracle, avoid the ire of the ravager and make it to the alcove where his compass begins to spin wildly around. “Compass skills, perfect compass skills,” he mutters to himself, dropping the compass and hearing the click of a dispenser as it vanishes and an artefact appears in its place. Hypnotic Bandanna. “Oh, come on,” he cries as he picks it up. “Don’t you think I deserve more than that? Did you see my ravager skills? I could have died! And I didn’t! Tango!”
And then the dungeon does something it’s never done before: it laughs.
The sound startles Scar out of his skin, and he clutches the bandanna to his chest in panic as around him the walls shake, stone grating against stone and lava popping and bubbling and water splashing and the ravagers all groaning in time to create a cacophony that some way, somehow, sounds just like Tango’s laugh. 
Scar stands frozen until the sound dies down, staring with wide eyes. His mouth is dry. He swipes his tongue around his lips, clears his throat.
“Uh, Tango…?” he calls. “I think there’s something wrong with your dungeon.”
The dungeon sighs.
Its breath tickles the back of Scar’s neck, makes all his hairs stand on end. Nope! No thank you. Scar needs to get out of here. He needs to—
He takes off running, back the way he came, ducking past the ravager and surviving the resulting blow by the skin of his teeth and half a heart. He gasps for breath, shoving more berries into his mouth as he leaps over moving chains and makes a beeline for the stairs back up to level one. He makes it and takes a moment to stop and breathe, the soft light of the skulk twinkling around him.
“It’s fine,” he tells himself as he finishes the last of the berries. “You’re fine! It’s just—the dungeon. Same as normal. It’s just a normal—normal run, you’re gonna get out, it’ll be fine…”
The stairwell is, for a moment, eerily silent. Scar feels more acutely than usual that he is being watched. He draws in a breath—
“STUMBLE,” the dungeon announces.
—and lets out a squeak.
Okay. Probably a sign that he should get going. He can do this!
He presses the button at the top of the stairs and creeps out into the throne room of level one. Luckily, there are no ravagers here. Unluckily, the hazard door is closed. Okay, the long way it is.
His legs are cramping something awful as he races down the stairs. He takes a left out of the crypt and stops for a moment in the tunnel, breath rattling in his throat, reaching down to rub at the aching muscles. Normally, the fun of Decked Out outweighs the pain he knows it will cause him, but right now his fear is outweighing the fun and the pain is something awful. He needs to get out. Once he’s out, his wheelchair is waiting for him upstairs, and he won’t have to get up for the rest of the day—
He’s so focused on the pain that he doesn’t notice the ravager until it’s too late.
He falls, face-first, into powdered snow, letting out a strangled cry. It’s instinct more than anything else that pushes him up, that digs his fingers into the snow as he tries to escape—
As he blinks snow from his eyes he sees, where his hands have cleared the snow, revealing the ground beneath them, something pink and red. It shudders and pulses beneath his fingers, cold like ice, yet undeniably alive. Scar, without thinking, digs his fingers into the flesh.
The dungeon screams.
The stone and ice around him shakes, snow falls from the ceiling above him, and behind him the ravager lets out an agonised wail before stomping a heavy hoof down onto his back.
Scar screams too as his spine shatters and he sits straight up in bed, several hundred blocks above his own head.
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riewritten · 14 days
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entering my Oil Well Fires brainrot bc when will reader's suffering end (i am literally the reason why)
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kata4a · 12 days
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like I'm not going to try and claim that tonality is a necessary aesthetic feature of everything I want to call "music," but there's pretty clearly a mode of engagement required by tonality which is not (or perhaps should not be) present when listening nontonal music
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liberifatalis · 9 months
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i understand all the older og fans who are annoyed that a lot has been revealed about sephiroth's past. i really do. a mysterious villain, if done well, is super effective, and in the og the hints at a somewhat normal but slightly traumatic past is what made sephiroth very compelling.
and yes, ever crisis may very well be fanservice. but who fucking cares.
but a lot of the claims from angry fans that sephiroth's backstory is unrealistic or it ruins his character is so unfounded imo :/
a traumatic past does not take away from a compelling, mysterious villain. a backstory that lays out the situations that influenced a villain to become 'the bad guy' does not make him less of a villain, nor does it ruin his character. many mainline final fantasy games have shown the backstory of their villains — kuja got one, kefka got one, so why not sephiroth? why not expand on things that we already technically know from existing canon lore?
i don't think this is an attempt to make sephiroth a stereotypical, trope-y 'tragic villain'. i don't think it's an attempt to distract us from the atrocities he's committed. i think it's more to see the human in the monster, and to symbolise just how pervasive and destructive shinra is.
if you've watched the boys, you will see many similarities (and of course differences) between sephiroth and homelander, and shinra and vaught. both sephiroth and homelander were pawns of shinra/vaught from the beginning, literally created to be weapons and objects for their organisations. both are manufactured, sort of humans. both were lied to about their origins, both were 'lab rat kids', both had childhoods devoid of what all childhoods should be. manufactured monsters. they are both results of their environment.
and yet, they both are irredeemable in the end, regardless of the fact they were forced on a path they had no say in. AND fans of the boys weren't fucking foaming at the mouth because homelander got a backstory. none of us thought it ruined his character. we all still see him as a man too far gone. why are ff7 fans like this.
i'm not too sure if square will change things up in rebirth and the final game, maybeeee they'll give sephiroth a redemption arc, i'm not sure, but fans are speculating. i don't think they will. but either way, based on the current canon timeline, he isn't redeemable. he's turned into a monster, and he now has the complete opposite of a normal life which is what he wanted as a child.
i also feel like he encapsulates the sort of madness and entitled viewpoint that only a human being, and male villain could possess. and this isn't to take away from his character and it isn't a diss. it isn't a diss at men either. but i think it's extremely realistic. if we think of current society, how men are socialised, they are socialised to believe they have an inherent uniqueness, something special — an inflated ego. and tbh, i think if we look deeper, i think in a lot of western, individualistic societies, this also transfers to everyone, not just men. sephiroth admitted he always thought he was special ("i knew, ever since i was a child, i was not like the others. i knew mine was a special existence. but this… this was not what i meant") and different from the rest. i think this dialogue, while heartbreaking, really does show an insight into his inflated ego. and i personally believe that his ego, his entitlement, was borne of utter loneliness and isolation. what else could give him comfort, other than believing in this idea that he was of a special existence?
while sephiroth turned into a monster, i feel like he is so incredibly reflective of the human condition (or, at least, a facet of the human condition), which to me, is what makes him such a compelling yet tragic character/villain.
who and what else, but a human being, a man, to think the world owes them something, to think they are entitled to justice in the form of suffering and destruction? to think that everyone is deserving of pain all because he was objected to it? to think they can take and take and take some more? to act in a rage so strong that it is no longer blind, but calculating, intentional, thoughtful and nearly prophetic?
who and what else on this earth could be so utterly consumed by emotion to the point of complete destruction? THAT is a facet of humanity, or maybe it's a facet of a lack of it; of the human condition. sephiroth, the monster, the manufactured monster, the one who was of a special existence, the one who is not like the rest...ends up acting in a way that only a human being would be able to. the irony. he doesn't even see it!
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bogkeep · 8 months
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i've had "wide eyed idealist" in my blog and twitter descriptions for years, but i'm not sure if that's accurate anymore. i refuse to fall into cynicism no matter the cost - and i feel like at this point, i've paid enough to not be branded naive for it...
i'm sure i'll find some new words for myself eventually.
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terriblygrimm · 9 months
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ALSO snw is def gonna put in a kiss between kirk and spock at some point because they’re gonna wanna continue the tradition of making a powerful statement for the time perold. they had the first interracial kiss in the 60s and now they’re gonna have a queer kiss today. there is no way they’re gonna pass up that opportunity. whatever the situation or mission or circumstance, they’re gonna find a way to fit that in. even if its not kirk and spock (😒) it’s gonna be kirk and some man
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this whole KOSA thing is making me think of the time in history my teacher put us into pairs and said we would be debating wether Athens was a true democracy with another pair. I got paired with one of those guys who never does anything so I did the whole thing, we got the “athens was a true democracy” and our opponents main point was “women couldn’t vote” which is fair. but the reason we won is because I said “that’s because they thought it was scientifically proven women weren’t as advanced as men, just like why children can vote now maybe in 1000 years people might think we’re stupid for thinking kids shouldn’t vote” and from then on to anything the opps said my partner would just hit them w “but children can’t vote now! does that mean America isn’t a democracy!”
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mayariviolet · 3 months
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trying to beat the attraction to blonde tw*nk allegations here:
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letoscrawls · 2 years
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I know you're tired of me talking nonstop and i know i've stated before that Coldplay isn't my cup of tea (which is true) BUT that obviously doesn't include Viva la Vida aka humanity's anthem the only song ever emotions in the form of a song
anyways
Viva la Vida is literally Paul's song... i never paid much attention to the lyrics but the way it fits stupid Paul's life.... oh my god. I could make a playlist with all the (often questionable) songs i've associated with Paul and Alia just this year. i don't know why but as time passes i'm more and more obsessed with these characters, i've been into Dune for three years now and i feel like the fixation is getting stronger each day instead of fading away
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bimboficationblues · 5 months
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was flipping through my French Revolution document book and came upon a long excerpt from Rousseau's Discourse on Inequality and immediately started crying. I'm normal
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