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awkward-tension-art · 21 hours

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Darkness on Umbara Chp.11 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter. 10

Hardcase

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Canon character death, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, names of non-canon dead clones, Grief, bottling up emotions to appear strong, Mentions of breakdowns, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DNI

As it turned out, Dogma was correct.

Hardcase, Fives and Jesse had stolen Umbaran fighters and managed to infiltrate the supply ship that was the source of such a powerful resistance. You had been outside, walking the airbase to check up on previously injured them when they returned.

Your heart dropped when you realized there were only two ships. Seeing Jesse and Fives step off the ships, but no Hardcase…

No.

No. No.

No!

Wordlessly, you turned and went back into the medical bay.

Ignore it. Hardcase is fine. He's fine.

You refused to accept his death. It didn’t happen. Hardcase was alright. He was just late.

As a doctor, you’ve seen all five stages of grief. You’ve experienced the five stages before. Felt them in your own way.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

And acceptance.

Logically, you knew this denial was part of the process. Emotionally however? You were going haywire. Hardcase was your friend. You’ve known him the same length of time as the rest of Torrent Company.

You couldn’t think about it. You had work to do. You had injured soldiers to wake and evaluate. You had others to hunt down and check their injuries. You couldn’t collapse into your grief, not yet.

So you threw your feelings aside and focused.

“What happened?” Kix’s voice sounded concerned as soon as he saw you walk in, “Are you alright?”

You shook your head. He had to know. Shifting your mindset, to that of a medical professional, you told him, “Kix, I’m sorry.” your hands were on his shoulders, “Hardcase is gone. He didn’t return with Fives and Jesse.”

The medic’s eyes widened. They were from the same batch. Cadets together, “Hardcase..?”

“Kix, I want you to go. Go to the barracks and get some sleep. Go be with your brothers.” You commanded him gently. You could swallow your mourning long enough to fill in for him. Let him grieve and process.

With a nod, he stepped back, away from you. His brown eyes roamed the floor, as if trying to find something.

Shock, most likely. Hardcase was a powerhouse, almost nothing could take him down.

Except fucking Umbara.

“Kix,” You murmured, “Kix, look at me.” Your hands held his face, forcing his gaze into yours, “Leave the medical bay, go to the barracks, and take some time for yourself.”

He croaked in response, barely holding it together, “The men..”

“I can handle it.” You responded calmly, “Go. Be with your brothers.”

With a nod, Kix left you. His shoulders were shaking with silent sobs just as he walked out the door.

The clones were brothers. All of them were connected in a way you couldn’t fully understand. It was a deep familial bond that you were sure transcended the damn Force. Even the word for brother in Mando’a seemed so much…deeper than any other word.

“Vod.” You whispered the word in Mando’a to no one but yourself, It means Brother.

You didn’t feel the tears as you whispered the language.

It hit you that Hardcase didn’t speak much Mando’a. Did he know these words? Probably. Most clones knew the basics. You could ask him-.

No. You couldn’t.

“Vod’ika Hardcase…” You breathed, heart tightening.

Dearest brother Hardcase. That's what the clones would call him as they mourned. Dearest brother.

You sank to the floor, staring ahead as you silently cried. Your palm slapped over your mouth as your emotions hit you in waves. Just when you thought you could breathe, another sob would rock your body.

Hardcase. Hardcase.

You let yourself cry. It was good for the brain, you knew that. Your medically trained mind kicked in. You were allowed this grief and this pain. Hardcase wasn’t your brother, but he was your friend.

So you cried. You let your brain release its emotions. At some point you had moved, leaning against the wall between two troopers on medical cots, Rusty and Cobalt, both down with broken ribs and severe blaster burns. Mindlessly, you ran your fingers through their hair.

You’ve found that even under the effects of sedatives, they could register touch. Sometimes they would also remember words spoken near them as well.

“I got you guys,” you stared ahead in your grief as you mumbled, “I got all of you. Whether you hear me or not, I got you.”

You found some comfort in taking care of these soldiers. Maybe it was because you were a doctor and you wanted to help. Or maybe with Rex as your lover, they were your brothers in a way.

Either way, you cared so much about them.

The doors opened some time, possibly an hour, after you calmed down. Tup walked in on you sitting between Nax and Ink. You were aimlessly massaging Nax’s hand when the young trooper saw you. He took one look into your eye and figured it out.

“You know about Hardcase?” He asked, walking over to you and sitting down on your left.

“Yea.” you mumbled, “I sent Kix to the barracks. To get some rest, so it's just me here.”

He nodded, draping an arm around your shoulder, “Everyone stable?” Clones were affectionate by nature with each other, so you didn’t read into the closeness. You’ve been hugged and held by plenty of Rex’s brothers. He trusted you, and he trusted the troopers, so platonic affection was just that. Platonic, but still appreciated.

“For now,” your answer was quiet, “What’s going on with Fives and Hardcase?”

“Court martial,” He responded, tilting his head to rest on yours, “It's not fair. They did the right thing. Krell is just…being cruel.”

“I’m sure Anakin will do something about it when he returns.” You mumbled, “He’d probably compliment Jesse and Fives, then let them go.”

Tup chuckled, but it sounded hollow and sad, “Wish Hardcase would have made it back.”

You nodded slowly, continuing to stare ahead at nothing. Carefully, you rested Nax’s hand back on the bed before resting your head on Tup’s shoulder and closing your eyes, “I’m not going to let this happen ever again.” You whispered, making a promise to the 501st, “I promise, Tup, I’m never going to stand back and let a bad General hurt any of you ever again.”

He hummed softly, “I would pay real credits to watch you rip into Krell.”

“You don’t need to pay me. I’ll do it for free.” you snarked, earning a snicker from the soldier.

“I’m sure General Skywalker would too, once he knows about all of this.” He responded, moving his head to lean against the wall, “Who do you think would win in a duel? Krell or General-.”

The doors to the med bay opened again. You opened your eyes when you heard the steps come to a stop in front of you. Tup stiffened and sat up straighter.

Rex was standing above the two of you, His eyes were a storm of grief, agony and frustration. You’ve never seen such a look on your lover.

You raised a hand to him, “Take a break and grieve with us.” You rasped.

He took your hand but remained standing, “Krell has ordered the execution of Jesse and Fives.”

“What!?” Tup scrambled to his feet, “Why!?��

Your eyes widened and you shot to your feet. It felt like someone dumped ice water over your head and your stomach dropped. Desperation hit you like a speeder. Jesse and Fives can’t be executed! They did nothing wrong!

“He has asked me to put a firing squad together.” Rex continued to speak, “Dogma is going to oversee the execution.”

“No, I refuse.” The younger trooper snapped, “I won’t kill my own brothers!”

“None of us have a choice.” The clone captain sighed.

“Rex,” Your voice cracked, “Is there really no other way?”

“I’m not forcing anyone to execute,” He responded, “The men will have the freedom to choose. I was just commanded to put the squad together.”

Tup looked at his captain, eyes going wide before he shook his head, “I’ll be on the squad.” His voice trembled, “But I won’t shoot.”

“I can’t force you too.” The clone captain responded. He looked over at you, “I want you to remain here.”

“Respectfully decline that order, captain.” You answered him, “They’re my friends.”

Rex’s expression was unreadable. Was he proud you wouldn’t look away? Worried you might break down? Or was he angry you declined to follow his orders?

Could be all three.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, the 501st captain didn’t argue, “Go to the back of the tower. Speak with Dogma about placement.” He mumbled to Tup before turning to leave.

“Yes, Captain.” the other trooper responded with a salute. The both of you shared a look before you followed him to the back of the tower.

To your horror, Kix was among those selected for the execution.

Rex chose a medic for an execution!?

Was this a particular act of cruelty? Or did Krell specifically order him to pick the only other medical professional on the 501st?

With Krell not present and Rex going to get Fives and Jesse, your ire was directed at Dogma, “Is this some kind of joke!?” You snapped at him, “How are you not sick of the taste of Krell’s boots?!”

You must’ve startled him, but he whirled to look at you, almost seeming scared. To his credit, he did manage to recover quickly and retort, “General Krell has given an order to execute traitors. We are soldiers and we follow orders that will benefit the republic!

“Make your own fucking decisions before your lips need to be surgically removed from Krell’s ass!”

Hardcase would be proud of you for that one. You thought to yourself.

Kix stepped out of the firing line and approached, getting between the two of you, “Doctor, stand down. Now!”

Dogma kept a steady glare on you, “We are made to be soldiers. Good soldiers follow orders, something you will never understand.”

Good soldiers follow orders.

Why did that phrase send a shiver up your spine? You swallowed and took a step back, folding under Dogma’s critical gaze, “You all are more than just soldiers.” You responded, “But you're right. I will never understand. But I’m still staying.”

He seemed to accept his petty victory. Dogma was vindictive, something you learned a little too late, “Line up the prisoners!” he called out, and Kix returned to his place in line.

You remained off to the side, eyes on Fives and Jesse. The ARC trooper had his head held high, as if proud to be in such a position. Even facing down death, he was courageous.

Rex and Appo had the two prisoners stand in place before stepping away. The former found his place beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder.

Dogma stepped forward, “Do the prisoners request to be blindfolded?” His question was met with defiant silence, “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma.” Fives spat.

You knew in your heart that Hardcase would have said a lot more swears. Maybe even try and swing at Dogma for this display of coldness.

The soldier overseeing the execution didn’t react to the ARC trooper's words, “Ready weapons!” he called. Just as he gave the command, the soldiers in line prepared their rifles.

Jesse hung his head and mumbled, “I never thought we’d go out this way…”

“Aim!”

Before Dogma could give the command, Fives interrupted, “Wait! This is wrong and we all know it!” He looked over the line of his brothers, desperate to reach them, “The General is making a mistake and he needs to be called on it! No clone should have to go out this way!”

You noticed Kix made eye contact with Tup. the both of them shifted slightly, body language reading as ‘unsure’. Others in the firing squad did so as well.

The ARC trooper continued, “We are loyal soldiers, we follow orders but we are not a bunch of unthinking droids! We are men! we must be trusted to make the right decisions especially when the orders we are given are wrong!”

You couldn’t help but smile softly with unshed tears in your eyes.

Hardcase would be so proud…

“Fire!”

The blaster shots rang out, startling you. But you refused to look away. Your eyes took in the reality of the situation.

Jesse and Fives, still alive, stood still, looking at their brothers. Every single blaster shot missed, littering the tower with smoking holes. Yet, none of them went anywhere near the two troopers. The firing squad dropped their rifles, the weapons clattering to the ground in unison.

Dogma gasped beside you, “Wait what!?” He hurried in front of the line.

“They’re doing the right thing, Dogma.” Rex stepped beside the confused and frazzled trooper, “Because if this,” The 501st captain motioned to the two prisoners as he spoke, “is how soldiers are rewarded for heroic actions then one day every man in this battalion may face a similar fate.”

You wiped your tears with your sleeve, and Kix looked at you with a chuckle.

Bastard, stop laughing at me. You couldn’t hold back your own relieved giggle. Apparently you were worried for nothing.

“Take off their binders!” Rex commanded, and Appo followed his orders loyally.

Dogma argued frantically, “No! We have orders! We have to go through with this!”

“Good luck finding anyone to do it,” Your lover damn nearly growled as he approached Jesse and Fives.

You turned away, intending to go back to the medical bay. The arguing of Rex and Dogma was tuned out as Kix and Tup appeared at your sides.

“You ok?” the medic asked you, looking relieved himself. His hands were shaking ever so slightly.

“You stressed me out!” Your tone wasn’t harsh, but it was clear the entire situation got to you, “Next time, give a doctor a warning before you deliberately miss a shot!” In a friendly manner, you grabbed his ear and tugged slightly, “I am going to age as fast as all of you because of this battalion!”

Tup laughed beside you as you manhandled your medic comrade. Of course you didn’t mean anything by your words, and they knew that. Still, you let him go, “Hardcase would have done the same as you, I think.”

Kix nodded, giving you a sad smile, “He’d probably have gone after Krell himself.”

“I’d have loved to see that,” Tup chimed in, clear in his own state of mourning still.

You looked at the two of them before sighing and grabbing the medic in a hug. At first he was startled, but you felt his arms wrap around your waist soon enough. Wordlessly, you reached and tugged Tup’s hand, pulling him in as well.

Clones are affectionate to their brothers. You always kept such a thing in mind, I’m no clone, but I hope they appreciate it.

The two melted into the warmth, and it was the younger trooper who mumbled, “Thanks Doc.”

“I’m here for you. I’m here for everyone.” You reassured him kindly. Your grief could wait. It had to, just for them.

Sadly, the group hug was broken up by Kix’s comm buzzing. Once he answered, Rex’s words came through, “Umbarans have stolen clone gear. Krell has ordered we take them out.”

“So the Umbarans think they can trick us, huh?” Tup put a hand on his hip, “I say we go after them. Care to join us, doc?”

Your nod was uncertain. Not because you didn’t want to join the men and help, but because you couldn’t take the unease you’ve felt over Rex’s words.

You had the worst feeling about this.

#reader insert #captain rex #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #clone trooper tup #clone trooper kix #clone trooper jesse #arc trooper fives #star wars the clone wars #star wars x reader #star wars #tcw x reader #tcw x you #umbara arc #clone trooper dogma

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annama-art · 7 months

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Tiny doodle of the omens omening

#it's a sticker now #illustration #artists on tumblr #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanart #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #idk what the ship name is #hellooo sorry about the silence. life got in the way #here's a doodle

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geodenes · 3 months

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can someone PLEASE be insane with me about them

#mordeson #regular show #benson #benson dunwoody #(ꈍᴗꈍ)♡#mordecai #regular show fanart #regular show benson #regular show mordecai #mordecai x benson #GUYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCHJ i rlly wish i could talk as in much depth about them as i would like 2 bc i could spend hours!!!! i swear 😪#i can't believe i only had a single post of them I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAKE FAN IM SO SORRY #btw has anyone thought of a name for this ship besides mordeson? i always wanted 2 make one like those big fandoms do ! it's just so.. cool #i suggest bluegum or videoclip ( videogames + clipboard ) in case there are no options available yet:3 #I HOPE THOSE DON'T SOUND LAME AAAAUGH I REALLY TRIED MY BEST TO THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD BUT MY BRAIN IS USELESS 4 THIS KINDA STUFF #anyway. thank u very much bee for letting me use the idea of the cat beanie hehee<3

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ghoostrash · 5 months

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Ghostmates fan art in the year of our lord 2023???? More likely than you think

#my art #digital art #fan art #smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ghostmates #eddie clayton #charlie ross #ianthony #kinda???#idk #what's even this ship name?#charddie?#inspired by that scene of them in bed #The movie would be good if Eddie and Charlie had ended up together #i'm going sicko mode with smosh content lately #sorry about that

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chiyobaasama · 5 months

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yamato is about to be DITCHED i fear

#my art #anko mitarashi #yamato #shizune #shizuanko #ankoshizu #i dont know what the ship name is thats how little content there is #saw there was like near NOTHING to look at #everything i have to do myself around here for good femslash #scorpio/scorpio <3 #sorry to disappoint you if you thought both of these women liked men. dont make me laugh #yamato just wanted to have someone to talk to :(#this is the we all had bad run ins with orochimaru squad if you really think about it

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shrinevandal · 4 months

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lost meme dump because i cannot be assed to make individual posts

#roach talk #sorry that it's mostly ben/linocke. you can tell i have a favorite #i feel normally about him #lost #lost 2004 #i refuse to use ''bocke" goofy ass ship name i'm sorry #ben linus #john locke #desmond hume #charlie pace #i refuse to tag that other guy. fuck you #and then everyone who only appeared in john's contacts also goes untagged. sorry #i also have a version of john locke whatsapp that had desmond instead of eko. idk which one i like more but i posted the one with eko since #desmond already got to be here w charlie #Good for them. good for them #desmond/charlie/claire/penny the polycule ever thanks for coming to my ted talk

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ride-a-dromedary · 7 months

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Astarion and Shadowheart: *collars undone, thoroughly debauched* Sorry we're late! We were doing stuff. Halsin: *a step and a half behind them* I am stuff.

#these elves are poly (for each other) GOOD for them #BG3 Musing #i don't have a ship name for them so i'll just tag #bloody heart and a bear #i am an astarion/shadowheart/halsin truther with sometimes karlach thrown in there if she's comfy because they all love her too #thinking about how shadowheart in EA was willing to join in with astarion's romance when he was ready #how halsin flirts with the two of them and accept their teasing good naturedly #and how the two of them are the only ones fully on board with bringing halsin into the fray (i know people read star's agreement as being #not into it but let's not take his right to consent to things and be believed away from him and devoid him of agency okay)#like how can you hear 'nature used all of its powers when it sculpted you astarion' and 'to watch a woman flush with pleasure #is one of nature's sweetest gifts...though perhaps you will prove even sweeter shadowheart' and not swoon and go WELL OKAY #halsin: i can make them better :3 astarion/shadowheart: we can make him worse! >:3 #this is an unserious post but one about a throuple i am serious about - i have a serious post about them earlier on my blog somewhere #i am so sorry minty this could also be you but larian playing #when your half elf girlfriend is the only one of you who has to sleep so you both let her sleep on you preferably at the same time

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beady-one · 10 months

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I'm sorry but I just keep seeing people put supernatural in there even though it Does Not Fit The Profile

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vegetashouse · 9 months

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“Yeah, I lured you out here to the garage so I could have you all to myself in the dark!”

“So you admit it!”

#*smashes my face as hard as i can into your face so you know how good i am at kissing*#i cant stop thinking about them im sorry. but not actually.#dbz #freeza #frieza #perfect cell #dbza #hfil #tfs #fricell #cellza #thank you to the peson who told me the ship name ilu

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mxalexwhat · 2 months

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Magnus Archives but make it Hozier

Here's my Spotify playlist for TMA Hozier. Its always evolving. Some fears just don't have a good 1 to 1, but with the new Unreal Unearth album, its gotten better

JonMartin - Wasteland, Baby!

Tim/Sasha* - Who We Are

Basira/Daisy - Unknown/Nth

Elias/Peter - From Eden

Jon/Oliver - Abstract (Psychopomp)

Agnes/Jude - Cherry Wine

The Buried - Work Song

The Corruption - In A Week

The Dark - De Selby

The Desolation - Arsonist's Lullaby

The End - All Things End

The Eye - Dinner & Diatribes

The Extinction - Be

The Flesh - Eat Your Young

The Hunt - In the Woods Somewhere

The Lonely - To Be Alone

The Slaughter - Shrike

The Spiral - Sedated

The Stranger - Someone New

The Vast - Almost (Sweet Music)

The Web - Movement

*or JonMartin MAG200 or JonTim MAG119 if you're feeling extra spicy

#tma #magnus archives #hozier #Lonely Eyes #Jonmartin #Daisira #agnes montague #jude perry #oliver banks #I don't know all the other ship names sorry #I like to imagine Elias and Peter singing From Eden as a duet and Peter calls Elias tragic lol #I did not fall in love with Jon/Oliver as a ship until this song omfg so good #and I get that Unknown has a lot of Lonely references but if you think about Basira refusing to see Daisy's sins? pure poetry

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littlehatmouse · 1 month

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i finished this in the last 20 minutes of lesbian visibility week after not drawing at all LETS GO

#lila art #genshin #genshin impact #genshin fanart #arlecchino #arlecchino genshin #navia #navia genshin #arlevia #navicchino #i dont think thats a ship name that anyone uses but im tagging it just in case #arlecchino x navia #this took me SO FUCKING LONG you would not believe #to be fair it was because i kept getting distracted by youtube or twitter or the thoughts inside my head #but STILL #i am very proud of this though this is one of like. two kisses ive ever drawn that look Good and the other one i didn't finish lmao #i was kind of impartial to arlevia until like. Yesterday #and now they are very important to me #arlecchino has a big polycule full of all his lesbian girlfriends and one bisexual woman (clorinde)#im also lowk obsessed with drawing sideprofiles because i am fascinated with drawing different noses #and giving characters different nose and face shapes #it is so beautiful how humans are so diverse in even the shapes that our bodies make #i went on a rant with my friend about this a few weeks ago #ANYWAY i was going to say this earlier but i forgot #i am Sorry for those two panels being so rushed and bullshitted #i had been working on this for like 8 hours and i wanted to be done SO BAD #but i needed to finish before lesbian visibility week ended!!!!#ok going to farm for father before i pass out good bye

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seagreenstardust · 10 months

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I’m gonna say something that’s probably not going to be well received in certain circles so let me start by saying this: I believe, with only a few rare exceptions, that you should be able to ship whatever speaks to you the most. And just because I don’t ship something doesn’t mean it’s wrong for anyone else to ship it, and the same for things I do ship, no one else has to ship it too. Who you do or don’t ship will never be a reason I pass judgment on you, ever. Live your best life.

That being said, I want to talk about Horikoshi and straight ships.

(And bakudeku.)

Here’s the thing: Hori has written straight ships into MHA and he’s done it so masterfully that it’s made me ship them without even realizing it. I don’t know if we can call them canon because as far as I know no ship is actually canon yet, but what is canon is the care Hori put into building these relationships.

Kirimina. Hori wrote in a backstory that parallels bkdk that I just adore. There is something about Kiri looking up to Mina and being so inspired by her bravery that it shapes the hero he becomes that is such good content. They’ve had multiple mid-battle moments of protecting and helping each other. I ship Kirimina so hard because of the canon Hori gave us.

I am a low key Denki/Hitoshi shipper but season six kinda hit me in the face with whatever we’re calling Kyouka/Denki these days and now I guess I’m a multi-shipper???? That is how hard Hori hit me with the Kyouka/Denki feels. And he did it the same way as Kirimina, because we have years of content of Kyouka teasing Denki mercilessly, plus the cultural festival band, so when they’re separated in Season 6 and Denki has this intense moment of realization that she’s who he needs to be brave for and it actually works??? I’m a goner.

Heck, I ship todomomo too you guys though I can’t blame Hori for that one, that’s just me being me. The point is that I ship it because the characters Hori gave me struck a chord inside.

But there is one straight ship Hori never once made me ship.

Every time izu*cha showed up I just kinda endured it? It just wasn’t for me. I didn’t see two kids with chemistry, I saw two kids who didn’t know who they were or what they wanted fumbling their way through a will they/won’t they without either of them seeming all that invested in it.

In six seasons and nearly 400 chapters and multiple times revisiting the story I have never once felt any inclination to ship izu*cha

Hori can write straight ships. Hori made me ship his secondary straight ships nearly effortlessly. So if izu*cha was meant to be canon why have I never once felt the chemistry?

You know who has the chemistry? Bakudeku. But here’s the thing: I wasn’t thinking about Katsuki as a possible love interest for Izuku the first time I watched the entire story. I honestly wasn’t paying much attention to him at all, he was everything I didn’t like on the surface so I more or less ignored him despite Izuku holding onto him for dear life. Katsuki never once colored my opinion of izu*cha, they did that all on their own.

It wasn’t until after my first watch through, when I was hungry for more and trolling around tumblr, that I realized people shipped Katsuki and Izuku and it was literally like something out of alignment popped into place in my head.

Oh. Duh. That’s the ship.

I went from zero to a million in a handful of seconds because the chemistry was there, the backstory was there, and boy are Izuku and Katsuki loud about how obsessed they are with each other. Just like Kirimina, just like Denki and Kyouka, Hori planted the seeds throughout the entire series so that when it was brought to my attention everything about the narrative and character development supported it.

And I have to take a moment to explain my dislike of Katsuki at first: I honestly fell for the surface-level interpretation of his character and then kinda wrote him off without much more thought. Which is insane to think about because you can’t really understand MHA without Katsuki, he is so integral to the story as a whole that any version of it without him is skewed so far out of alignment that it’s not even the same story anymore. But I just saw angry boy who yells for no reason and put Katsuki in a box and left it at that.

It wasn’t until I was willing to give his character a second look that I started understanding him, and more importantly, his relationship with Izuku. And it helped that when bkdk was presented to me as a ship that my brain understood immediately why it worked. The canon source material supports bkdk at every possible moment.

I really don’t think it does the same for izu*cha.

#bkdk #bakudeku #I’m being very deliberate about not including actual ship names for the one ship I’m arguing against here #because the shippers for that ship deserve to have their tag filled with positivity and I am not trying to rain on anyone’s parade #mainly I’m just word vomiting something I’ve been thinking a lot about while tumblr lurking #and I guess you could say that Hori doesn’t actually know how to write a solid romance and mistakes his way into it three separate times #but izu*cha reads to me like the token het ship for the main character that Hori doesn’t want to write but has to #there’s no care being put into it except how it highlights the other ships for the two characters #anyway #good for you if you made it this far in to my rambling #or maybe I’m sorry is the better thing to say 😂

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purgatory-of-assbutts · 10 months

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Regarding this post by @assiraphales saying that a separation between Aziraphale and Crowley would be beneficial for their development as individual entities in addition to being an “us”;

Exactly this! I mean, if you look at Prime's official character description for the two of them, you can see how skewed it is insofar as the dependence they have on what defines their indentites

They've been side by side for so long they can't imagine life any other way.

Even though this is about both of them, we know how much more this resonates with Crowley, if only because he’s the one who is at least consciously acting on it (there’s a whole universe out there and we could have been an “us” just to pick the most obvious ones)

Aziraphale, though, has never quite come to terms with how the world actually is and lives within the bubble of the world he has created

Where Crowley is idealistic but pragmatic, Aziraphale is (to a certain extent) naive, deluded, and in denial from sheltering himself away from the realities of, well, reality. He enjoys letting Crowley rescue him as much as Crowley enjoys playing rescuer, but this dynamic has snowballed into something else by the time we get to the end of Every Day. Granted, Aziraphale has millennia of religious and institutional trauma to work through, but so does Crowley. The thing is, their traumas manifest in different ways.

For Crowley, who was cast down for asking too many questions, does not tend to directly verbalize his wants. Instead, he hints and wheedles. Crowley, being a kindhearted demon—an idiosyncrasy in itself—does not accept compliments. In fact, he actively reacts from even a slight acknowledgement from Aziraphale (nice is a four letter word and do you know how much trouble a demon can get into?) (also if you haven’t seen it you should look at that one post by @edgarallennope on how being punished after 1827 was the reason why he asked for holy water in 1862). So, a) the talking and b) the being nice/being with an angel. Despite this, we see how hard Crowley tries to work through his confession at the end, only to be, as he sees it, thoroughly rejected, as he is every time he tries to move forward with Aziraphale (you go too fast for me and there is no our side, Crowley and nothing lasts forever).

Aziraphale, whose relationship with Heaven has a clear parallel with Nina and Lindsay, needs to learn to truly separate himself from Them and heal. Despite the ridicule and the ostracism he’s experienced, it’s nothing compared to Crowley’s Fall (not to compare traumas, of course) and as Crowley said, he understood what Aziraphale was asking from him far more than Aziraphale did in wanting him to return. Aziraphale remembers how much Crowley used to smile and how he’s done so less and less over time (not even just from angel → demon but during their time on earth) and probably attributes that to The Fall. He still has to unlearn the major heavenly conditioning doctrines and work against his bias against Hell.

Anyway. They need to learn to communicate. And they need to work together. It has been three days and I am unwell.

#good omens #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #idk what the official ship name is #ineffable #meta #**#also sorry about the tag I just wanted to make sure you were properly credited

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