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#the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it
orcelito · 5 months
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Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.
Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.
Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.
It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...
This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.
I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so...#jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader.#because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly.#and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up.#it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out.#the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed.#but thats how it goes with any art piece i think#the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it#they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider.#is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad?#is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day?#that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own.#but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it.#it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person.#i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down.#puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world.#and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session#it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet#no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic.#(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol)#& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much#i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast.#even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it.#I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me.#i... really do love my fic y'all
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lvrcpid · 1 year
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reality in motion.
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it’s warm. like a sunny spring day. nothing compared to the pain you once felt. when your eyes open, the bright white light was almost blinding. i’m dead. you thought.
“my child? why are you here? it isn’t your time.”
what was that voice? then it registered. it was the great mother. your creator.
you quickly stood to your feet and bowed. when you lifted your head up you met eyes with the almighty. she was beautiful. the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
“(y/n)..no..no no no it’s far too early for you to be with me..what happened?” doesn’t eywa see all? how does she not know what happened.
“i would rather not talk about it..you said it wasn’t my time.. what do you mean?” the great mother took pity on you, one of her greatest creations.
“you’re still young..still have so much time..you aren’t supposed to be here with me..not yet” she took her hands in yours and gave you a small smile
“it was great to meet you my child..but you must return..” what did she mean by that?
your world suddenly went black. your eyes snapping open as you felt a burning in your lungs. you looked around and noticed something, you were underwater. at the bottom of the ocean.
you quickly swam up to the surface and took a deep breath, choking up some water as you struggled to keep your head afloat.
just your luck, some divers noticed you emerge from the water and quickly swam over to save you. they recognized you as the child that had gone missing.
your body was weak and frail. your lips were a light blue. signifying that you indeed had died. as your head leaned against the back of the metkayina diver, you raised a shaky hand over your chest to see that your wound was healed.
you blanked out after that. you only really remember bits and pieces of what happened. one minute you were in the care of tsireya, the next minute your family was running in with frantic eyes and puffy faces.
they had been crying for you. tch. i bet those tears were forced.
“(y/n) you’re safe! thank you great mother thank you!!” neytiri dropped beside you and hugged you, not too tight seeing as though you were still fragile.
your mind was all over the place. you had just been brought back from the dead for what seemed like weeks. you looked and felt like hell. and why was your mother hugging you..she’s never done that before.
“this child proclaims to have been dead at the bottom of the ocean..they don’t remember much but they remember seeing their siblings..” ronal looked over to lo’ak and neteyam “ride back to shore on an ilu..”
lo’ak felt his heart drop. that was days ago. he looked over to neteyam who had guilt written all over his face.
neytiri pulled away from her eldest child and looked at their face. she didn’t notice you were gone. she didn’t know you had died. she didn’t know. she didn’t think to check.
“you left them there? i thought you said they were behind you..” jake turned to his sons, his eyebrows furrowed. when they did notice you were missing, the boys were the first ones to speak up , saying that you were behind them.
“well we thought they were..but we didn’t look back to check..” neteyam scratched the back of his neck, tears brimming his eyes as he felt so guilty in that moment.
the whole family stood in shock. they thought you were somewhere far from them this whole time. not dead. and how did you even come back to life..that’s impossible.
“(y/n)..is this true?” kiri spoke up, looking at you being treated by ronal, tonowari close by fuming at the family.
“what reason do i have to lie..” you spoke, voice hoarse. “i was shot” you pointed to the wound on your chest.
the family collectively gasped.
“i took the bullet for neteyam..it was supposed to be for him..considering the face lo’ak made when the ship was mentioned..im gonna assume it’s been days..hasn’t it been lo’ak?” you turned to your youngest brother as he let out a shaky sigh and nod.
“i stand corrected..it’s been days..nobody tried looking for me..” you said sitting up. tsireya was quick to put a hand over yours and grip it tightly.
“days..i’ve been gone for days..and nobody tried-“ you were cut off by your fathers voice “we started a search party!” he frantically said, tears now in his eyes “ and when did you start it ? “ tonowari spoke up, he already knew the answer , he just wanted to hear what the family had to say for themselves.
“we started it 2 days ago..” neteyam spoke. he was now crying. how could he do this to his big sibling. you were nothing but kind to him. to all of them. but this is how they repay you.
“and when were you all on the ship?” ronal asked, looking at lo’ak. he didn’t want to answer, he felt the shame rise in him as he looked at tsireya. she looked so disappointed in him.
“it was about 6 days ago”
the mauri fell silent. you’d been gone for 4 days before the family realized you were gone. that’s all it took for tonowari to dismiss your family, instructing ronal to keep patching you up and tending to you.
“you bring shame to your people..out..before i change my mind on letting you stay here.
you watched as your family quickly moved out of the mauri, not even turning back. you laid back on the floor, the world seeming to move on it’s own around you. you blanked out. you couldn’t feel. you couldn’t think. you couldn’t breathe. you didn’t want to be here.
why was eywa punishing you so?
you were eventually left in the mauri alone, left to rest.
your world was changing right before your eyes.
like reality in motion.
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tags 🏷️: @23victoria @avtprint @bucky12345 @boilingpots @Marcswife21
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tnsophiaonly · 9 months
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"I am your Creator, your Grace."
A divine spoke from above, causing everyone to gasp all towards Teyvat.
The prophecy has been fulfilled. The creator is descending to Teyvat, visiting or rather coming.
With the way the creatures are more hostile and the way they increase more is a sign. It means the creator's blood has been shed on the way, who could have done such an atrocity? They must be tortured and
Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
TW: Detailed death and gore. SAGAU. Manipulation. OOC. Yandere. Manipulator Reader.
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You were just an average Genshin player, farming for new characters or unbuilt characters, artifacts, things, bosses, monsters, and primogems.
"Ah; I can't wait for Fontaine... The characters, the new nation! Ah...~!" You spoke excitedly, cannot wait for the 4.0 update.
After the 4.0 live you went back to Genshin to at least try your luck with a last ten pull before sleeping, not really caring which banner, you press the *10x wish* button.
The fate turns gold and you grin in excitement. You got all the five/four stars you didn't have, which is more than a ten pull that's for sure, you blinked your eyes, rubbed it and lastly pinched yourself to see if you were dreaming.
But you weren't. Oh, now what? You just clicked the exit button and looked through your characters, they were all here! You had only a bit of 5 star C6 characters because you were broke.. but you couldn't believe it you got everything! Even the weapons! Whohoo! But wait.. what if you get banned?
Oh no. Oh nonononononononono. You reassure yourself, no one knows so who will ban you? No one! You just closed off Genshin.
Okay you went back to see if it was just a glitch, when you were brought to the entrance screen you pressed enter and it flashes so bright! You didn't remember it being this bright!
Your eyes hurt from the brightness and you close your eyes, you feel yourself shifting realities.. was TikTok really true when it brought up switching realities? You wish you could have checked cause it hurts!
You felt as if you were getting torn into pieces by pieces. You let out a scream of pain as you felt your head getting torn out.
—e—m—o—c—l—e—w—
Waking up with a pained scream and fearful expression. You look around your body to see it still intact.
Sighing in relief from the sudden shift in realities, you came back to reality (get it?) when you heard a rather loud thunder strike.
You look around and see yourself in an unfamiliar surroundings. 'What the hell? Where am I?' Your thoughts were cut off by a thunder strike.
You tumble when standing up, after all you were worried your legs were cut off from the reality shift. Finally finding out it was a hut made with wood with a hay like roof. Surprisingly it was comfy, and it didn't leak!
And you see that it had; a bag —leather back pack—, clothes —japanese like? Wait...—, food —in a plate, and it looked really familiar—, water —in a kettle—, mini med kit —which seemed 19's like—, and..
Is that mora?! As in genshin currency?! Holy moly nutsy cats! You must be in genshin! Woah...
You admire the Teyvat currency. It really was the real deal. You took steal all the things you see in the hut, even the pillow and blanket!! Literally everything you could take!!! And the leather back pack? Fits it all.
It also has a game like screen, like the inventory? Yeah.
You wear Japanese like clothing, you wouldn't want to unfit in Teyvat, would you? Anyways stop calling it Japanese like clothing it's Inazuman now.
I mean Inazuma is inspired by Japan right?
The only thing that bothered you is that, what was the mask for? The mask was split in half So what's it for? Hiding your identity? Pfft-
(pick one)
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You took it just in case.
You walked out of the hut, oof! You almost got hit by lightning! Why are there so many lightning? You looked around and you couldn't really see anyone or anything.
Huh last time you know you already finished the quest in Seirai Island so why are there so many lightning?
You shook your head. Your eyes perk up at a statue. Ah, it's a Statue of Seven. It's a bit broken because you didn't really level up Inazuma statues... Laziness..
You wonder, would you get elemental powers if you touch it? I mean it did say something about people from other worlds getting powers.. but... You shifted realities, does that count?
Oh well, you proceeded to touch the statue either way and it got fixed like if you max level statues, in fact it looks cleaner than before. You even felt as if the statue's element- or electro was happy to see you.
Did you bless the statue? Or did it bless you? You didn't really care.
You checked to see if you had powers or not, you didn't really feel anything. Maybe it didn't work? You sighed in disappointment.
You look around your surroundings. Just as expected, it really is Seirai and you are in Inazuma or Teyvat. You walk around and spot a tree, ooh lavender melons!
You reach up to pick up the first lavender melon and take out the kettle from your backpack or bag and wash the lavender melon, safety first!
And you took a bite, oh it was really ripe and juicy! What a surprise! It tastes just like a watermelon but with a more lavender-ish taste? I don't really know.
You took more of the lavender melons, because in person, one tree has 16 melons. Unfair, cause in the game it only has 3!
You put it in your magic bag, you walk away from your "spawn point". Eager to explore the dangerous island more. You were about to walk straight when you saw Fatui.
Haha, no.
You turn back and take a left (cause no one treated you right), and went right (cause everyone left). You see a teleport waypoint. Oh wow. Omg. It's the same size as you..
Feeling amazed and anxious at the same time, you wonder, are you able to use this? You hesitantly touch it and instead of blue, it turns into color gold. Mesmerized and shocked and also scared.
You look at your magic bag and see a map in it, you take the map and it has the teleport waypoints! It was all locked but you could go and explore more to get more— no what are you thinking it's dangerous! You put the idea of exploring in the back of your mind (you died, and I didn't even cry-).
You see one of the wave rider summoner. (Was it called that?) You touch it and it becomes color gold too. Wow! The boat is amazing!! It's way better than the game! Man you could live here for all you care, but the thunder..
You were still wondering where the thunder came from. You look around first before riding the wave rider. Just to see if you would have a clue where the thunder is coming from.
While in the way you see a sweet flower, you were about to pick it when you remember Whopperflowers. The ones that disguise themselves and can take on the appearance of other plants like Sweet Flower, Small Lamp Grass, and even a Mint. You felt really scared
You were about to walk past it when it came out from the ground. Making you scream and tumble. Almost making you fall.
The whopperflower had a face that presents fear and also admiration. It doesn't attack you.
You stare at it in fear and shock. Confusion looms over you. 'Why isn't it attacking?' you thought.
"Uh- hello.." you spoke awkwardly, hoping that it wouldn't deam you as an enemy, you smile nervously. The whopperflower looks mesmerized now.
Oh? It understands you? You reach out a hand to pet it unconsciously and it leans to your touch. It gifts you a sweet nectar and gives you a sweet flower and goes back to the ground. And just as if it felt like someone was coming, you also felt it, someone came.
It was an adventurer, you recognize that solid green and red uniform anywhere. It seems as if it was running away. And it spots you. The adventurer pushes you out of its way and was getting chased by a hilichurl. Seriously? It was a group of 3.
Wow. When you tumble back from the push the adventure did, causing your ankle straining from the force. The cryo whopperflower jumped out of the ground and started attacking the adventurer and your eyes widened.
It starts sending out cryo spikes which stab the adventurer's legs and knees —earning a scream of pain from them—, then it sends another spikes that's higher which stabs the adventurer's abdomen. Spitting a heavy amount of blood from the spikes. They glance at you with pain, but it soon washes away when they saw your face. Oh it was their holy creator, so you actually exist? It wasn't a lie? "HELP YOUR GRACE! I DIDN'T MEAN TO GRAZE SUCH A DIVINE! FORGIVE ME FROM MY GRAVE SIN!" The adventurer screams out with brimming hope and grimming despair, and takes out a hand at you, but you are frozen in fear; 'Grace? What.. what..?' your thoughts ascending to worry, confusion, guilt, anger, pain... The adventurer... the adventurer was heavily injured which caused the spikes and the ground splattered with red blood. The whopperflower was charging up and the adventurer bleeding on the spikes with life fading slowly. The whopperflower finishes the charge up and starts shooting out deadly cryo balls at the adventurer, beating it up. But that wasn't enough to kill it, as its uniform was blocking the attack from a critical spot and only destroyed the bloody greenish uniform. So the whopperflower sends another cryo spike which ultimately ends its life in a brutal way. Which ends up splattering more red blood than it should.
You could only stare in horror and shock from what happened, your slippers with white socks or rather shoes getting stained with blood.
"Grace..? Wha.. what..?" You whimpered in utter horror, the cry whopperflower then proceeds to take the adventurer's head and heart and present it Infront of you, with an expression of admiration, as if it didn't just kill another being brutally in front of you! In fact they want you to praise them.
You held out your hand to form a stop sign but it took it as a praise and lent to the touch and the whopperflower went back to the ground with you still frozen.
You saw, watched, played a lot of horror like, or something that concerns dead bodies but you never expected seeing them personally, or was it really your first time? Your eyes dilate at the sight of the dead decapitated frozen body and its stabbed heart which beats slowly fading away.
Tears start to build up from your eyes, the emotion you're feeling, empathy was it? Or was it something else?
You just put on a pray-like pose and you walk away with a heavy heart.
—t—a—v—y—e—T— —o—t—
How long has it been ever since you've witnessed a brutal sight? For your sake? Hmm about at least almost an hour, you got lost. You couldn't find the wave rider. I mean you could use the map and teleport but hell, how do you teleport? You were walking around, avoiding any danger as much as possible in Seirai Island.
You finally saw a wave rider, and look there's a waypoint nearby! But then you see a familiar purple head. Shit, it was Ei. You had to cross paths just so you could get to the wave rider! You didn't know what to do and was panicking when you remembered your mask. You took it out from your magical bag and inspected it. It only covers 1/4 of your face, why bother... Eh, a mask is a mask at the end of the day. You wore it.
You were thinking of a plan when, "It feels like the creator is nearby.., who's there?" The Electro Archon said with an unfazed voice but irritated too. You walk out from your hiding place and put your hands up.
"Ah forgive me for hiding, but I assure you I mean no harm." You spoke gently, the shogun tensed up and looked at you directly, she looked so pretty personally...
"Is that.. who are you?" She spoke with a rather forced calm voice. You were skeptical about her behavior, so you plan to use an alias. "My name Akeldama Kagema. I really apologize for the sudden appearance, The Shogun." You keep a facade with a calm, elegant personality.
"Akeldama Kagema.. what is your purpose here? Seirai Island is dangerous for inazuman citizens." Ei spoke with a rather skeptical tone when she pronounced your name.
"Ah, I am an adventurer and I was given a commission on this specific island. I was about to leave with the wave rider there." You lied smoothly, lying has become a part of your nature which you can't live with lying.
"And the commission was?" She was being pushy, she seems really suspicious of you. You kept up your facade despite being irritated, "Taking care of a hilichurl camp." You lied again.
She hums, and let's you be. But before letting you be, she held your hand, her eyes widened but she soon let go. You were about to touch the wave rider when an uneasy feeling looms over you, as if Ei was watching your every move.
When the wave rider turns yellow, you made a mistake. Shit, wonderful, now Ei is really suspicious of you now. How the hell did you make a wave rider gold when you're not the creator?
She runs over you at light speed and refrained you from moving further. "Ah, What is this for.." you spoke with a forced smile, trying to keep up the facade of calm and elegant.
"Tell me your real name." Well fuck. You grumble, "My name is (Y/N).." so much for aliases.
She unrestrains your movement and looked in worry. "Are you alright your grace?!" She asked with a worry laced tone. Your eyes widened with her question and tone, the sudden switch up?
"I'm fine.." you muttered loud enough for her to feel, and you swore you felt her sigh in relief. She held your hands softly.
"So the prophecy was correct..." She spoke gently, then her grip on you became harsh and painful "Except if you're also a fake like (Same Name or S/M) who gets mistaken as the creator for having the same face, body. ." She said harshly, "I will end you." She threatens with a venom laced voice.
You muttered an 'Ow' and hissed from the godlike grip on your hands. "yes yes..." She lets go, of your hands and your hands have a mark on them, one of your fingers bled tho and when it dropped on the floor, you saw flowers growing and the way the grass became cleaner from just a drop of blood. And Ei's eyes widen.
"You really are the creator!" She said with so much happiness, "I apologize deeply for hurting you, I'll treat your wound now please do come with me.." She said.
"Ah.. and how am i- are we supposed to do that?" You asked confusingly. "Ah, staying from another world and descending here must have caused an impact to your memories.. Your grace, you can teleport to places you wish to be at!" The Electro Archon spoke excitedly. Happy that her nation was the first the creator has come.
You're seriously not their creator right? But then it doesn't really explain what's going on unless you're the creator... I mean it was Hoyo who created them! What are they on about?!
You breathe carefully. You put on an apologetic expression. "Ei, as much as I would really wish to be treated by you, I do not like to be a center of attention..." You declined respectfully
"Your grace, you are deemed to be given all the attention and riches as much as you are the only reason we live..!"
"Ei, I am not a fan of attention, not at all. How about this, I want to act like a messenger who gives out the creator or me- messages. Like an oracle? But I'm not really like that, just a messenger. But you can still know who I am, but refrain from letting anyone know." You lied reasoned out
Ei understood, "Your grace.. so humble..." She muttered in a hazy state, you hold her hand gently "I truly wish that, you would try your best to hide my identity... Ei can you do that? Don't tell anyone? Not even Yae?"
She nods, "Prove it." You demanded. The Electro Archon, injures herself as proof, an unnoticed indigo blood dripping but soon turning red. "wonderful. Put your life on the line for me would you, my strongest acolyte? Or do you wish for me to abandon you.." you threatened with a low voice.
Ei shakes her head. You give her a peck on the forehead. And told her of your plan.
You plan to be an oracle like or just a messenger sent by the creator. So you could 'observe' the present Teyvat.
An obvious lie. You have no plan on meeting any characters and pass on your messages to crazed devotees.
Ei only goes with your plan, great now you have a powerful ally. As much as she is very out of character, I mean who wouldn't? After all;
I'm their creator.
Ei left Seirai hesitantly. You could only smirk in victory.
Then you went to the wave rider. You went inside, and put your hand in the modern screen and told it to lead you to Kannazuka.
It did as you told.
—e—c—a—r—G— —r—u—o—y—
But there's something bothering you, how did you communicate with Ei when you were speaking in your world language rather Teyvatian language?
Is it because of a certain connection between Divine beings and The Creator? But the way you communicated with Raiden is rather too out of character. If what you guessed was right that this was some kind of SAGAU cult AU and possibly impostor AU, shouldn't she attack me?
You're rather worried than grateful that Raiden spared you. What lies ahead of this so-called Teyvat? A fantasy open world with open battles using elemental magic turning into a crazed cult who worships their so-called creator who doesn't even own Genshin but just a player, wouldn't the title of creator go with everybody else? As in like other Genshin players or the people who went to your world...? Oh wait.
Would communicating with others be considered hard? Considering the others might not have the same connection as the creator does with the divine beings.
You just shook your head in frustration, your mask jingling at the process.
–s–e–i–r–o–m–e–m– –n–e–d–d–u–S–
You see yourself in Kannazuka.
What was your purpose here? Why did you go here...?
Oh yeah, to get a mask that'll actually cover your face rather than 1/4 of it. You don't want to be seen as the creator, no not at all, you might will get hunted! You might will die painfully.
But is Kannazuka a good place...
Item Naku Weed.png Naku Weed
I don't think so. Narukami might be a better place to fetch mask.
Perhaps you came here to explore?
Maybe.
Okay maybe you did come here for...
Dendrobium
Crystal Marrow
Onikabuto
Sea Ganoderma
Out of curiosity. I promise!!
Oh. Crap.
I keep on forgetting that there are still characters who can get here.
It's Kujou Sara. And who is that? She looks a lot like me.... Is that the (S/M) Ei said of? A fake that gets compared with The Creator?
OMG I'M FINALLY DONE... yes SAGAU cause yes. This monstrous chapter... I need to train myself to write longer chapters.
Anyways have a nice read, it's cringe I know and it sucked but this is my actual first time writing SAGAU. Especially Raiden Ei. I don't know much about her but I js know she has gno-sis. Jk I did study her a bit for this, ending up to be ooc.
When you don't give a shit about the lore but you have to so you don't make mistakes...
heavily inspired by @whispereons (pls support them)
Anyways. VOTING IS CLOSED
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𝑀𝑦 𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑚𝑒
A/N: Okay, I got inspired again and this piece is just me, pouring my absolute and eternal love to the favourite place of mine: Mondstadt! This could be read in sagau or just any other normal piece of work but I wrote it with Creator!Reader AU in mind.
Because let's be honest, they welcomed the Traveller albeit a bit hesitantly, with open arms even when they were really busy with Dvalin situation... And I might be sick of writing/reading Mondstadt as one of the nations who tortured Creator!Reader 👉👈
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"Mondstadt."
One might be wondering why the Creator was telling the nation of freedom's name right in front of the said nation but the answer was pretty clear to you as you stood before the entrance of the city with Venti next to you, looking pretty surprised himself with his aqua eyes wide open.
And no, it wasn't to punish someone.
Why was it that everyone thought you enjoyed torturing people when all they ever did was... to make you drunk?
"I'm choosing Mondstadt."
Because, ever since your arrival to the Teyvat, though most didn't trust you and rather tried funny things on you... The people of Mondstadt welcomed you with open arms, even if they were facing a crisis at the time which was "magically" solved very soon.
That was also a test on them and their Archon Barbatos, who went by the name Venti to honor a friend he once did and was unaware how badly things could have turned out had they been...
Well, you got the idea.
Now, Barbatos often prided himself to be your favourite which often got on the nerves of other gods and Archons. But he didn't give much thought to it as he floated around you as a little spirit at the time. Besides you wouldn't have specifically asked him to accompany you to everywhere you went if you didn't feel safe and secure, if you didn't like him, right?
"I see..." Zhongli said somberly while standing right outside the Gates of the city, his amber eyes filled with jealousy and anger directed themselves onto the shorter Archon next to you looking both surprised and proud as he held your hand. He had to pull himself together, however much it affected him, as he thightened his hand into a fist and looked at you with unconditional love and undetering loyalty, no matter whose nation you chose to stay.
"May I ask why, Your Grace?" He softly asked you, with no hint of anger or malice directed to you as you shuffled on your feet anxiously but held your head high. You were obviously the Creator, come on!
Venti looked at you with a turn of his head, his usually pouty lips forming a thight line as his hand naturally found yours. He remembered the first time you arrived, all the Winds and waters were singing and there was a feast of falling star in the sky. He remembered how he rushed to where you landed, the Tree of Vennessa, and were trying to get your balance back on your wobbly legs. His heart thumped inside his ribcage violently at your etheral body, the fact that you chose his land, the three that meant the world to him to ascend down...
He could have fallen on his knees in gratitude eit tears flowing down his soft cheeks and round eyes right then and there.
But what stood out the most was... The fact that you were scared.
And that damned fact made him almost collapse beneath your feet and beg for forgiveness, for something he didn't even know he did.
Please don't hurt me, one simple sentence that he never knew that could cause so much pain to him even after all the battles he fought. How could someone dare to hurt you enough to think that your Archons would do the same, as if they couldn't sense and feel you and your warmth they all once basked in?
Mind you Venti, you awkwardly thought after he explained everything, standing there like a shy kid, that you were the Creator and you had golden blood and he felt you, and cried on his knees for you to believe him as you patted his back and let him hug you thightly. The amount of fanfics I read about this situation made me a little paranoid.
But... Was he grinning and nuzzling closer to your neck?
After that, you were more relaxed. By now, everyone in Teyvat knew of who you were and already started to plan for your arrival in their nations. So far, Liyue and Inazuma were the most eager ones to have you while Sumeru and Fontaine just let you decide when and how you wished to come to their nation and you were glad for them giving you this choice.
But... Well, you didn't really want to leave here.
Mondstadt always stood out to you the most, even after seeing every other nation. Of course they were all special, but Mondstadt was... Home.
Every time you would get hurt in the game, you would immediately seek out to go to one of the Statues of Seven in Mondstadt. Every time you just wanted to stroll around, you would go to Starsnitch Cliff or Windrise and just listen to the nature, absolutely beaming and glowing with you there. It was cozy and warm here...
Then you would always pay a quick visit to the Dawn Winery and Wolvendom to see Diluc, his staff and then Razor and his family. Every time you suddenly appeared in the Winery, or insisted on helping Adelinde out even though the woman begged you not to do that since she knew Diluc would have a heart attack, yet you still did it.
After all, you were the one who cleaned your own home in your world.
Which, by the way, he did just as Adelinde thought every time as you pampered him with a sweet ringing laughter and swiped his soft hair away from his flaming hot face, all the while fawning over how soft and amazing it was and wanted to learn his secret at keeping it so tame.
And may You forbid it if you tease him about the color of his face and even kiss his forehead affectionately?
Now, you would have a very shy and flustered young man clinging onto your touches and love, something he was mostly deprived off, and warmth that couldn't even compare the one his body had because of his vision.
And sweet Razor? The clueless boy would always tug on your sleeves and run around with you, showing every hidden place and then stop and make a makeshift camp for you, eating whatever you found or hunted together. Other Archons would have had a stroke at seeing you sitting down on mud, eating and cooking simple food as you exchanged stories with him from your world as he listened intensely with wide eyes and animated voices.
He was especially into the Supernatural creature stories for some reasons.
Scolding Jean because she never takes a day off, telling Lisa that she was exceptionally bright, assuring Kaeya that he was enough... And then getting yourself into trouble with them by pranking, some adventures and even more... These were all the reasons why you loved here.
Because often, a place feels like home because of the people you met there and those who had an Impact on your life.
With a soft sigh and looking back to the lively city that welcomed you, you spoke with a voice that held many memories. Both from your world, days spent with farming and wishing for them and from this time when you were... Their God.
"Because all of you always saw me as something I have never been for the entirity of my time... A God, the Creator, The Divine, Godslayer, The First Who Came... Which is fine, really, having a lot of cool titles are amazing but..." You rambled off without realizing, worried that your words might piss the Archon off. But why would it?
You were his Creator anyways, and even if you weren't, you didn't deserve to feel bad for thinking the way you did, right?
But they both were just looking at you with soft eyes, clear devotion and understanding crystal clear in them as they only basked in your etheral voice that could bring them to their knees just by itself. Though Zhongli was bitter that you didn't choose to stay in his nation, it didn't mean that you would never visit and have some tea with him, right?
But Venti? Oh the shorter Archon was grinning like a cheshire cat as pride, joy and love filled his entire being.
All for you and because of you.
But a part of him was also smug and all knowing. Because who else would you go to? He was the first one to get to you, help you and protect you. You arrived to his city first, you asked help from them first and you blessed his city, his people, he himself first.
If Zhongli, or other Archons didn't get it then, it was their problem.
Not his.
Besides, he needed to have someone to dedicate his love songs to, after all! And what a coincidence it was that all those songs were about you and you had to listen to them as... The muse itself.
Zhongli was able to read all of these, at least most of it, since he once spent a lot of time with the childish yet strong archon. Unaware of the silent battle between these two that was ready to tear mountains apart for you...You remembered all the times you got to spend with Venti under the tree he usually sat down whenever he needed to pick his thoughts and spend some time with himself.
Alone, as only his winds companied him.
But, after you showed up with bright smiles and a promise to take his mind off of things with your stories or your flower crowns you made just for him because it would compliment him and his pretty face well to which he only accepted with a bashful smile and flushed cheeks, these lonely moments when he would think back to the past and all the mistakes he did turned out to be... A session where you both learnt to accept yourselves as the way you were.
Mistakes and all.
And that was why you were so sure of your reasoning as to why you chose them.
"They have seen me as Y/N..."
They stared at you shocked with wide eyes, perhaps even the other Archons who weren't present heard you and you were sure you heard some people falling behind you...
Must be your imagination.
You shrugged your shoulders and stared ahead of yourself with a small smile and slightly squeezed eyes, both a result of the bright sun that seemed like it felt your own happiness.
Though Zhongli seemed like he didn't understand what that sentence meant... Venti did, and his face visibly softened as a small oh left his lips. His hand silently sought yours to squeeze in assurance, to tell you that he knew what you meant and felt, your own eyes turned to look at him with your own shy smile as you accepted his slightly calloused hands.
Which made the Geo Archon seethe at him even more since... He wished to be the one in Venti's shoes, the one who had your love and affection, the one who you held dear to your heart and close to yourself, much like now.
"They know me as the one who always tripped on their own feet, the one who got so flustered because Kaeya was flirting with them but was being genuine and always made sure I was comfortable. And never once did he hold any malicious feeling as he showed the city to me, I really didn't have the heart to tell him that I already knew every nook and crevice..."
You mumbled shyly with a flush, remembering how it was the first time Kaeya had genuinely laughed and smiled wide as you both came to a stop under one of the trees near Springvale to catch your breath and then eat whatever you wished to do in the village, which was ecstatic to have the Creator in their humble village and served you the best they could.
You didn't have to know, but as Kaeya watched you play with children and then look around yourself as if you were searching for something-no, someone- his heart beated faster as his tan skin darkened in embarrasment when he understood that you were looking for him.
He was the one you wanted to have close to you, he was the one who brought that wide smile to your face... He was worthy enough to spend the whole day with you and you never for once judged him, his past or whatever weight that had been forced on his shoulders since he was a young boy.
But rather chose to drag him towards an opening to watch the night sky and point every star to him, telling him giddily that it all reminded you of him and his one visible eye sparkling at what you said
He made you swear to never tell a soul about the way he cried onto your shoulder and landed a kiss on your forehead affectionately while you patted his back, his almost whole body on top of yours as he resembled a cute koala to you. Because one, Venti would kill him. Two, Diluc would kill him. And three... He couldn't hug you anymore :(
The third one was obviously the biggest reason why, as he pouted at you when you laughed hard at his reasoning, all the while assuring him that you would protect him...
Which gave him yet another thing to think about before he went to sleep, a lovesick smile being glued on his face as he chuckled and giggled like a teenager girl all the while hugging his pillow thightly, hoping that perhaps one day... There would be someone, you, for example, to take over that empty spot.
"They saw me as the one who always made sure that those around them were comfortable, happy and well-taken care of even though they were struggling with their inner demons and in exchange, was equally taken care of and pampered by delicous food."
Because you knew all those young men, women and teens had one hell of a traumatic life and since you weren't able to erase that part or rewrite it... You wanted to at least let them know that you were there for them.
As a shoulder to cry on, a friend to listen, an ear for them to vent... Whatever they needed at that moment. And though they might have been skeptical about your true intentions at the beginning, they quickly found solace within your presence, hugs and love, slithering to your light like moths did to a flame.
Even Diluc, who usually wasn't one for " idle chit-chat" often found himself before you, drinking grape juice together as he told you about his frustrations... More specifically about Kaeya, his brother with whom he re-connected thanks to you.
"The one who was befriended the fastest by the little kids, because they obviously had immaculate sense in new games and story telling from other worlds an enjoyed making an adult suffer for their entertainment."
Indeed, you learnt it in the hard way while playing with Klee. Though you had an amused face as you said this out loud, you underestimated her energy and love to... bomb things, at that time. It was your fault really, Albedo and Jean warned you about it and how she got excited whenever she went fish-blastimg with someone she loved, but even when you met her... You just thought they were exaggerating it.
You were wrong.
They could only slap their foreheads in affectionate anger as you ran away from Klee who was holding yet another Dodoco bomb that was about to explode because she changed her mind from catching the fish to showing you how amazing it was.
And for a second, you indulged with her... That is, until you realized the bomb was about to set off.
"Klee, dear, I think we should really let go of that bomb!"
"But... Mr. Dodoco only wants to meet you! (⁠✷⁠‿⁠✷⁠)" you nervously sweated, thinking how to dodge her without hurting her feelings when the bright eyes of the bomb caught your attention.
"Maybe in better circumstan-WATCH OUT!"
*cue you and her covered in ashes, Klee holding onto your hand as she rambled about how amazing it was throughout the whole time back to Mondstadt while you were shaking from the adrenaline*
"Yeah... It was amazing, dear."
"The one who was always there to pick up the broken pieces of those who acted noncholant and cold, but held the warmest hearts ever." You pointedly looked at Diluc at this part, who came over as soon as he heard that the ex-Geo Archon was here to have a talk with you, watching as his pale cheeks were blossomed with an adorable pink. To be seen as such in your eyes, as a warm hearted man rather than the cold and uncaring one he showed himself to be...
It was an honor.
To hear such lovely words leave your lips was an honor.
Because you were all he had left, after he lost his father and cut all ties with his brother who came clean to him... The only constant thing he had was you.
You who came to him after days of being in Mondstadt, knowing that it was the same night of the same day when he had that fight with Kaeya and comforted him with soft words and your presence right before the fireplace as you both sat together, knees touching. Even though his breaths were laboured, chest contrasting painfully...
"I know it was hard for both of you... But you only have each other, is there really no way for you both to talk it out?"
He listened to you and his heart caved in. How couldn't he, when you were quite literally begging him with desperation and tears in your eyes for him to accept Kaeya back?
Besides, thanks to you... He had his family back now, and both Diluc and Kaeya couldn't be any more grateful for it.
"The one who knew what loosing a loved one meant, but never pushed too far into their comforting and instead let them come to you."
Diluc couldn't help but nod aimlessly as tears slightly dampened first his eyes and then cheek. It was true that you only left there with one question only, knowing how sensitive the topic around Kaeya and his father was for Diluc.
But you just... wanted to pay them back for all the good they did for you, every time they gifted you something heartfelt, made you your favourite food, indulged in your hobbies even though they might not be as interested as you were to them.
And all the time they spent to help you, with quite literally everything since everything was new to you.
You smiled at the fond memory of Albedo and Sucrose, who were trying to explain to you one of their experiments excitedly. Well... As excited as Albedo could be, of course.
But even as a scientist and an artist, there was one thing Albedo didn't realize at that time but much later when he thought back to it: Though you seemed like you understood what they were talking about... You were actually pretty clueless at whatever the hell they were telling you about.
You never were good at chemistry, okay? Not your fault that Albedo was so damn smart!
"The one who didn't always understand what was spoken to them, whether it was way to smart for them or the language barrier but had people to patiently teach them... And later forced to eat all together in the city with others."
Albedo smiled as the same memory replayed in his mind too. The way you often were distracted by the fresh snow in his lab or a colorful show of his newest experiments which made you grin widely with amazed eyes, always brought a smile to the usually stoic blonde man. He might not exactly understand the human nature, and even saw you as some kind of experiment to work on so that he could better understand you, he really liked... The idea of having you around.
He didn't even know when he started to seek for your praises, of your presence whenever you would touch his shoulder softly and urge him to take a break and come with you to either play with Klee or have some warm "sahlep", a warm winter drink from your world that you specifically made for him.
To which he would always agree, no matter what, under the shocked, jealous and impressed eyes of... Well, everyone in Mondstadt.
Because the Creator was offering him something They have done, specifically for him and was looking at him expectantly for his reaction as they swayed a sleepy Klee from side to side on their lap after she drunk the hot liquid.
Did he use Klee to have more of your attention? Maybe... Did he make even more experiments just to have you in Dragonspine? Yes... Yes, he did and he had absoultely zero shame for it.
You clasped your hands together after talking so much, your throat starting to hurt from using it so much since that irritating raspy feeling had made itself visible slowly.
The disappointed face Zhongli had broke you, he looked like a kid being rejected of something sweet. Just because you chose Mondstadt, it didn't mean you hated other nations.
They all had other reasons to love about!
Liyue had more of an enigmatic aura with all the rituals, temples and over all Divine Vibe in them but they also had a lot of rules, though you didn't have to apply them to yourself.
You already dealt with enough rules and strictness in your world, really, so though you liked the over all traditional vibe... It wasn't your first choice.
Inazuma was much like Liyue, though once the strictest one with rules and eternity in all over the Teyvat. Fontaine, though you liked hanging out with many people there, seemed... Cold, though Tsaritsa's land was the one considered to be cold because of the constant snow.
Maybe Sumeru could have been your next choice, but you were still pissy about those mages and scribes who treated your precious baby Nahida like that-
But Mondstadt... It had been the first your created, the first one you saw and stepped foot onto. The first to welcome you and teach you everything, the first to give you a family and a whole lot of friends, the first ones to allow you to be yourself...
They were the apple of your eyes.
"The one who is just... Y/N. That's why I'm choosing them... I'm choosing my home, but that doesn't mean I love any of you less." You patted Zhongli's back with a sorry look that said please understand my point as he did and smiled back. Your comfort and happiness was the most important one after all and if you were the happiest here, though he still sent daggers to a certain half-drunk-of-you bard who was looking at your back with literal heart eyes, he thought he could be... Fine with it.
At least, for you.
"I understand, Your Grace... I just hope that you will come to Liyue soon, which will be waiting for your arrival quite eagerly."
And as you reassured again and again that yes, of course you would... You were yet to know that Venti already carried your words to the certain people you talked about and the whole people of Mondstadt with his winds as the city cried out in joy from having your blessing and love.
And who knows... Maybe, they could have your blessings and love through one another way.
In a more... Romantic and free way.
Bonus Part!
"Oh, but I'll visit Liyue soon! Can you prepare Osmanthus-"
"Nooo~ Your Grace, Dandelion Wine is much much better!"
Zhongli: ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ 😒
You: (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠) 🤭
Venti: ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ 😭🥹
Also Zhongli: "As you wish, Your Grace..." 😎
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🕸️My thoughts and feelings on Beetlejuice 🪲 (at least for a while)
I know a lot of people probably won't care but I really want to share my thoughts and talk about this character and that's what I'm going to do, There are a lot of thoughts and feelings accumulated inside my head and I need to get them out, it's a little mess but I think it will be fun to read.
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I've had this on my mind for a while, which has finally become one of my biggest, if not the biggest, hyperfocuses for now and I'm going to share a little bit of it now >:)
I really didn't think I would have the courage to post this because I'm not that confident in sharing my things but I CAN'T TAKE THIS GREEN DEMON GHOST MAN OFF MY MIND😫‼️
The beginning of this happened when I was already in another hyperfocus on the character Adam from the series Hazbin hotel on Amazon(I was already a fan since the pilot on YouTube), and then a slight curiosity hit me..."Who is his voice actor?"
So I went looking for who he was and I ended up being so interested in the actor, who is Alex Brightman (I love him a lot by the way and I can't wait to go see the musical and see him in person) and also in the characters he played and voiced, and in particular one of them won my heart.😔🩷
That's exactly what you're thinking, it was Beetlejuice.
For some reason he caught my attention and over time I ended up becoming quite fond of the character, even more so when I remembered that my parents watched the character's film when I was a child, which made me even more eager to research and look for any possible bit of information on the internet that I could find.
AND YES !
I actually achieved a lot and I'm going to share it <3
Firstly, the 1988 film, which was one of the first pieces of information I found about it, after all, it was in it that the character made his debut (apart from the story of its creator Tim Burton). And I know Beetlejuice is a pervert in this movie, but I try to ignore that and try to just look at the good side of him being a good character.
Secondly, and I think this is what caught my attention the most, is the cartoon of 1989 with the same name as the character called Beetlejuice where the character acted as the protagonist alongside Lidya (In this one there's nothing about him wanting to force her to marry him like in the movie, it's just a cartoon of them having a good friendship and being best friends).
And man, the way I was happy when found out that the cartoon had 4 seasons and about 68 episodes, I was almost like that kitten TikTok meme ✨ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY ✨
Like, wow, a source of potential Gifs, icons, dividers, photos, edits, there was so much I could do that I didn't even know where to start because of all the hustle and bustle and animation I had (And of course I spent the next few weeks pestering my friends about it during class with every little bit of information I found🤓👆).
At the moment I'm trying to look for a website that has all the episodes together or just some, but so far I've only been able to find them on old DVDs. When I can find a website I will gather all the links and post them, so that more people can watch.
And one of the best parts...I FOUND A WHOLE COLLECTION OF 🩷VALENTINES' DAY CARDS🩷 and I'll probably make another post later to post all of them or at least their links, they're all official. This made me even more excited because I love all that romantic and cute aesthetic of the Valentine's Day season, hearts, red and pink decorations, heart-shaped candy boxes, love letters, Decorated store windows, stuffed animals, I just love everything (even though I don't have a valentine, and I don't want to🙃).
To give you an idea of how focused I was on this little green-haired corpse demon ghost man, everywhere I have the opportunity I make doodles or drawings of him all over the places, walls, notebooks, tests, napkins, classroom board, and in my sketchbook, in which I'm making an entire page dedicated just to him and Lidya, which maybe later I'll post too. Even more so after I managed to find several official reference sheets from the studio that designed and animated the cartoon, so now the drawings will be much better.💋
There is so much information that I managed to find that I am having to organize my thoughts because unfortunately I am very agitated and anything takes my focus easily, but as soon as I can really focus on that, it feels like I'm somewhere else.
But now talking about the Broadway musical, (which as said before has my beloved Alex Brightman as the main actor), I've always liked the idea of musicals, and even more so when his story is about my favorite character, and speaking of musicals, I REALLY WAS OBSESSED WITH THE SONG "SAY MY NAME" 😫🩷
And oh boy, I spend almost all day singing it or with it resonating in my mind, whenever I read, write, draw or do anything to do with Beetlejuice, I put on my headphones and listen this song as if it were the greatest masterpiece made in history.
AND I'M SORRY BUT I NEED TO SHARE THIS SONG WITH YOU GUYS
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Leaving the character a little, and going to the actor...he is simply the SWEETEST AND CUTEST MAN I'VE EVER SEEN!!
After I discovered that he voiced the characters that I like most in the Hazbin Hotel fandom and played the character that I like so much, I developed a huge affection for him, not just for his work, but because he is so sweet, fun and funny that I can't help but love everything and everything I find about this man online.
Alex Brightman bringing the character Beetlejuice to life and voicing Adam, Fizzarolli and Sir Pentious
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That's it for now ,folks, that's all I have stuck in my mind for now or at least what I can remember
I apologize if this isn't so good, I'm writing this while I'm at school at 7am after waking up at 5am while my body is sore after a presentation.
So, thank you for reading 💞
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midwestmade29 · 3 months
Text
Memories of You ❤️‍🩹
I was in the mood to break a few hearts so this story came to life…don’t hate me 😂🫣 ✧ Valentine’s Day writing prompt: #5 (Valentines Day break up. Sometimes relationships don't make it on the day of love) ✧ You can find @madhatterbri’s complete list of prompts here 🙂 ✧ Word count: 1,408 ✧ Divider by: @firefly-graphics
Disclaimers: Just sadness mostly. The story goes over a breakup and the feelings that come with it. Read at your own discretion.
GIF is not mine. Credit goes to the original creator.
This is a standalone story. There will be no continuations or a part 2.
This is the first Valentine’s Day you’re spending without Christian…
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This Valentine’s Day looked a little different than it had the last 2. You were spending it alone instead of with him. This would be the first time in the last 2 years that you weren’t waking up to good morning kisses, the first time in 2 years that you weren’t spending it in the comfort of his arms. You knew there was no chance in hell that you were leaving your apartment on a holiday devoted to all things love! You had prepared for this day a few days prior when you went to the store to buy yourself a cliché heart shaped box of chocolate and 2 bottles of your favorite wine. You had purchased all the ingredients you needed to fix a homemade meal along with some self-care items. You made a promise to yourself that you would avoid social media so you wouldn’t see everyone’s mushy posts about them and their loves. The iPhone sitting on the coffee table was the enemy today because you knew you weren’t going to be getting the “I love you texts” you always looked forward to so much. This day was all about you now and you were going to spend it doing the things that you enjoyed to help take some of the sting from the day away.
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“I’m fine. I swear I’m really doing fine,” was the reply you sent to your friends in the group chat you all shared. They had asked how you were holding up, checking in with you and offering their love and support because they knew even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud, you were missing Christian. Once you were done fixing dinner, you sat yourself down on the couch and began watching one of your favorite movies. Time was moving forward at a decent pace, which you were grateful for. The bottle of wine you had opened was about halfway gone when you paused the movie to clean up your dirty dishes and apply a face mask. On your way back to the couch, an old familiar box that sat on a bookshelf caught your eye. You tried your best to talk yourself out of opening it, but the contents inside of it called out to you. You hesitated when your hands reached out to grab it, but here you are sitting it down on the coffee table in front of your couch. Your face mask had another 10 minutes left before you could take it off, so you tried to get engrossed in the movie again. Periodically you would glance over at the box, almost giving into temptation but you refrained.
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You removed your face mask when it was time and polished off your 1st bottle of wine. Your head was a little unsteady from it, but you weren’t too far gone. The heart shaped box of chocolates was half eaten with most pieces placed back into the box after you bit them in half to taste their flavor. You decided to rip off the band aid after you poured another glass of wine and go ahead and open the box. You had done so well all night not going down memory lane, but it turns out you’re a glutton for punishment! With your legs crossed as you sat on the floor, you took a deep breath and pulled the top off the box. The smell of Christian’s cologne danced around your nose when you pulled out one of his old wrestling shirts. The scent caused a rush of memories to overtake your thoughts as you remembered all his matches that you were ringside for. It took you back to all the times he wore this cologne for any special occasion that required him to wear a suit and tie and how he looked so fucking handsome in them. It was the same cologne he was wearing on the night you broke up. Sometimes you feel like the scent is embedded on his side of your bed. You sat the t-shirt on the floor and moved onto the next item in the box.
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The paper tickets that Christian printed out were what you pulled out next. They were from the first hockey game the two of you went to together! You remember how into the game you were and how he looked at you in astonishment because of how well you fit right in with the rest of the hockey fans. Your cheers and curses made Christian laugh, and you encouraged him to let loose too! There was no good reason why either of you shouldn’t be your authentic selves around each other, even if that meant losing your minds over a hockey game. A piece of paper that you had Christian sign during one of his meet and greets caught your eye next. You decided to play a joke on him that day by standing in line and pretending to be a crazed fan just dying to see him. Your theatrics were over the top when you rushed up to him pretending to be his biggest fan. Onlookers thought you were bat shit crazy for your behavior, but Christian thankfully smiled when he noticed it was you causing the commotion. “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It’s really you! Captain Charisma. The Instant Classic. The Patriarch of AEW!” you cried out, barely able to keep a straight face. “What are you doing here, Y/N?” Christian asked while shaking his head at you. He signed the note you had slid to him on the table, and he grinned from ear to ear as he read over what you had written on it:
“I love you baby! I’m so glad that you’re mine. I’ll see you at home after the event!
P.S.-I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much”
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Up next were random trinkets that you had collected from your travels together. A keychain from Las Vegas when you were there for Double or Nothing. A few seashells from your favorite beach vacation you went on. Beer bottle caps from the bar you went to after he won the TNT Championship. You pulled out a half a dozen pennies that Christian picked up for you whenever he found one on the ground because he knew they reminded you of your grandfather who collected coins. The very last thing that remained at the bottom of the box were pictures of the two of you throughout the course of your relationship. You gulped down the wine in your glass as if it would help you get through the next set of memories. A few tears escaped your eyes when you looked at every photo. Each picture was different, ranging from silly and cheesy, to happy with the both of you displaying the brightest smiles! There were candid photos that you had taken of Christian when he wasn’t aware you were taking them and there were some that were like that of you too. Pictures of sunsets, you both with each other’s families and friends, underwater pictures of you snorkeling, the two of you snuggling on the couch together. You finally pulled out your favorite picture of the two of you covered in flour and other ingredients, sitting on the island in the kitchen after a small food fight you had.
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You found yourself sitting on the floor with memories of what used to be spread out all around you. Tears stained your cheeks the more you thought about Christian and what he might be up to tonight. The stroll down memory lane made you feel sad and brought up things you were trying to hard to forget, but it was good for you. It was good for you to feel all the feels and release them. It was good for you to acknowledge your pain and let it go. The tears you shed made it feel like some of the weight you had been carrying around with you since your breakup was a little lighter. Once you dried your tears, you packed everything back inside the box, except Christian’s wrestling t-shirt. You placed it over your shoulder and got yourself ready for bed. While you were still in the process of moving on, it was still okay to hold onto some of the happy from your relationship with him. That night you fell asleep wearing his shirt, the smell of him that was still remaining on it lulled you to sleep.
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warmaidensrevenge · 10 months
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Love and pinball
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Pairings: Eddie x Chrissy x Fem!plus size reader
A/N: Hey everyone. I'm glad some of you are still reading my stuff. I really appreciate the love. This next part is a little bit rough. But I'm happy with it. As always thanks for reading. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Feel free to share your thoughts. I'm always open to suggestions and help for any fic I write. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee.
Word count: 6,000+
I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators.
Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Language, slow burn, angst, sexual implications, hurt/comfort. Not proof read.
Summary: The truth comes out. And feelings grow.
Part 3: Can we be something?
Eddie sat on the couch when you went to change. When you came back you were in an oversized shirt and shorts that looked like underwear. With your hair down. You looked so pretty and comfy. You smiled at him and went to grab a couple of beers.
Once you handed him one, you went to grab a game.
He wanted to talk about the possibility of you being in a relationship with him. However, he got the feeling that maybe tonight you just wanted to hang out.
When you opened the board, you looked at him and gave him another pretty smile.
" I hope you like checkers. I do have the stuff for chess. But I don't have the patience for it."
He took off his jacket and got up. Sitting on the ground next to you
" That's surprising when you work with kids."
You chuckled, lining up the black pieces. " Okay. Maybe it's not patience. Maybe…I just have a problem with remembering which thing does what."
" Hmph. Same."
He helped you finish the board and both took a drink.
You motion your hand to the board. " Black goes first."
He reached over and put his beer down. In the process he moved his other one behind you on the couch. Did he mean to do that? No. He was just trying to get comfortable. What he didn't expect was you to move closer to him. So close that your shoulder touched his chest. What did that mean? Were you interested? Was it possible that you just might want more than this friendship?
"Bud?"
He looked at you and you nodded towards the game while taking a drink too.
" Right. Sorry."
He moved a piece, starting the game. About half way through you started up the conversation again.
" So…how long have you and Chrissy been together?"
" Al-almost five years."
" Hmmm you seem unsure about that."
He saw you smirking as you made your next move. "That's a long time."
" Yeah."
" Umm have you guys always done the whole open relationship thing?"
He shifted a little. " No. It's been about a year."
" Oh…so how many girls are you seeing?"
He licked his lips and sighed. Kinda embarrassed to tell you the truth.
" Just Chrissy." He said taking one of your pieces.
You moved a checker to his side and kinged it. " So it's not an open relationship?"
" I uhh…it is. I just didn't feel like I wanted anyone else."
Until now.
" Didn't? As in now you do?"
He grabbed his beer and took a swig. Trying to find the right words.
" I-I don't know."
" Hmmm. Does it bother you that she's seeing other guys?"
Not anymore.
" It used to."
The silence after his comment was weird.
" Hey bud. If you don't want to talk about it, or if I'm annoying you, just tell me to back off."
He smiled a little and shook his head. " You're not annoying. I get that this is something that a lot of people don't agree with."
" No it's not that. I think it's interesting. I don't judge. It's just…you didn't look too happy with her date."
He sighed and finished off his beer. That's when you got up and got him another. Bringing along some goldfish crackers. Sitting a little further away.
" Sorry this is all I have right now. I haven't gone shopping yet."
" No. Don't be. I liked these." He said with a half smile.
" Cool. Well eat up. I don't want you to get a tummy ache from the beer."
He let out a light chuckle before popping a few crackers in his mouth.
" Umm so…you don't like the guy?"
He shook his head. " Fuckin' hate that guy."
You strained your mouth into a frown. " Oh no. What did he do?"
" It... it was a long time ago."
You put your hand on his thigh. " It's cool if you just want to drink and keep playing. But I'm willing to listen. No pressure K."
He nodded and took another drink. After he put his hand on yours. Rubbing soft circles with his thumb.
" In highschool, he was popular and a jock. He uhh bullied me a lot…I was always different. And everyone thought that I was some satanic worshiping freak. I uhh I guess the long hair and metal I listened to didn't do me any favors."
" Let's egg his house."
He threw his head back and laughed.
" No seriously. I have bologna. We can put it on his car and in the morning, he will try to take it off and it will peel the paint."
He shook his head and smiled." Oh so you've done this before?"
You pressed your lips. Shaking your head. " Not yet. But I'm willing to vandalize and destroy everything in the name of justice for little Eddie Munson."
He grinned. Why were you so…cute?
" But you're not right? A devil worshiper?"
He laughed a little. " No. I mean I do love metal-"
" Who doesn't? Honestly the best songs I've ever heard were by Black Sabbath and Warlock."
He lifted his brow. " You know Warlock?"
You pulled your hand away and got up. Turning on the radio low. He smirked when he heard the opening of I Rule the Ruins and saw you slightly banging your head.
When you came back you sat closer to him.
" This is the first song I heard by them. And I just fell in love"
He started banging his head too." This is really a good song."
You guys just sat there listening for a minute.
" You know I was bullied too."
Out of nowhere he lifted his hand and moved your hair behind your shoulder. Leaving his hand on your back. Then you hung your head.
" Kids can be really cruel when you don't fit into the norm."
" Who wants to be normal?" He asked. " Normal is boring."
You turned to look at him. " I used to say the same thing all the time."
As the night went on you guys talked and played. Truthfully, though the night started off the way it did. He was happy he was there with you. That it ended with you and him.
" Well it's getting late. I have to work early."
He suddenly felt sad. He didn't want to go. Neither did you.
" If you want." You stood up. " I would like for you to stay."
His eyes widened.
" I mean I don't want my friend to drive after drinking."
Damn.
" That couch is a pull out."
He stood up too. " No. I don't -"
You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. " Please. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt."
He looked down at your guy's hands. How could he say no to that? So he agreed.
He laid there thinking what it would be like to sleep with you. How would your warm body feel next to his? Would you like to be the little spoon? Or do you even like to be touched? He hoped so.
-
You did the same thing. Think about what it would be like to cuddle him. To feel his strong arms around you. You thought after the conversation about Chrissy, he would ask you if you wanted to hook up. You might have said yes. Who knows? If he would have tried to kiss you when he brushed your hair back. Maybe you would have. But, you had never been in a relationship like this. It was very complicated. It could get really messy. And that was something you wanted to stay away from. Still, Eddie was something. He was different, and though you wanted to push the feelings that were there away. He made it so hard when he looked at you with those baby cow eyes.
In the morning you woke him up for breakfast. He sat at the table while you served up two plates of chocolate chip pancakes.
" Thank you sweetheart."
" It's no problem. It's nice cooking for someone in the morning."
" Well if you want we could do this again?"
You were quiet and it freaked him out.
Shit shit shit!
" I-I m-mean-"
You held up your hand. " Eddie, I have to be honest here."
He closed his mouth and stared at you intently.
You put your hands on your lap and averted your gaze to your plate.
" Okay so I don't know how you feel about me. But I was not being entirely truthful when I said you weren't my type…you are. And I think that maybe there's something between us…I-if I'm wrong please tell me-"
He reached over and held his hand out for you. A little hesitant, you lifted yours and put it in his.
" There is something sweetheart."
You met his big brown eyes. " Oh-okay…so umm I don't know how to do this."
He grinned a little. " I don't either…but maybe…we could figure it out…together?"
You sighed. " Together sounds nice."
When breakfast was finished, you were kind enough to make him a sack lunch too. When you guys parted you gave him a big hug.
" Have a good day bud."
" No, you have a good day."
You giggled. " Bye..Make good choices."
He grinned at you.
The rest of the day he was in the best mood.
Time went on and you spent loads more time with him. Hugs were the closest you guys got to touching each other. Not that he minded it. He liked that you two were going slow. Getting to know each other instead of immediately jumping into bed. Like he did with Chrissy.
But after a month of breakfasts and dinners. You got closer.
He was over watching The Thing. You were on the other side of the couch when it started. But 30 odd minutes in and your face was buried in his chest. He held you tightly for the rest of the movie. Later that night he was laying on the pull out when he heard you.
"Ed-eddie?"
He looked up and saw standing in the hallway.
" Yeah sweetheart?"
You cleared your throat. " Umm you doing ok? Do you need anything?"
He shook his head. " No, I'm good."
" Oh-okay."
He leaned in his elbows. " Are you okay?"
You tucked your hair behind your ears. " Y-yeah. I umm just wanted to make sure you're not scared or anything like that."
He smiled to himself. He knew that you were just trying to hide that you were.
" Umm I might be a little."
" If you want… I could lay with you until you fall asleep." You proposed.
He nodded. " Yeah. That would be nice."
He pulled back the blanket and you climbed in with him. He didn't know if he should hug you or something. But you quickly decided for yourself. You pulled his arm under your head and snuggled up closer to him. Grabbing his other arm and draping it across your waist.
" I hope this is okay."
He pulled you closer and sighed. " It's perfect."
You settled into him and he tried to control his breathing. A minute went by before you lifted your leg and placed it on his thigh. His hand slid down your leg and hooked behind your knee. Pulling you closer. After his hand went back around your waist and firmly tugged you so that your body was flush with his.
His heart started to pound out of control when your hand went up and gently started scratching his head. You were so close and you were so fuckin warm. He wanted to touch you and kiss you all over. But then he heard you sigh deeply. Your minty breath smelled so good.
" I have to be honest." You whispered. " I came out because I was scared."
He lightly chuckled. " I know…don't worry. I'll protect you."
" Prom-promise?" You asked sleepily.
" Pinky." He whispered. Giving you a kiss on the forehead.
Before he knew it, you were softly snoring.
" I want to do this every night." He said before sinking deeper in the bed. Falling asleep too.
The following week was date night with Chrissy. He decided to take her to the carnival. He absolutely loved the rides. And she always liked to play the games. So it was a great idea. He had come to the conclusion that in order for this relationship to work, he needed to focus on the girl he was with. And try his best to not think of the other when he was spending time with the other.
So tonight he was going to be all about Chrissy.
-
You were in the kitchen mixing up a batch of cupcakes. Swaying your hips to Angel Baby. Thinking about waking up with Eddie spooning you. It was nice. Being held like that again. Though it was the first time you slept together, it almost felt like you've been doing it for years. That feeling of being protected and cared for was something you had missed. And when he left, it hurt your heart. And it hurt more that he didn't come over during the week.
You knew he had to go home and spend time with his actual girlfriend. Which you wished that was you. Maybe you were being selfish. But you couldn't help what you felt deep down. Something you weren't ready to accept or even think about.
"Hey Sis."
You turned around and smiled. " Hey. You're early. There she is."
You put the bowl down and picked up Natalie.
" Hi baby. How are you?"
" Hi Tee. I missed you."
You kissed her cheek. " I missed you too."
Your brother put down her overnight bag and gave you a hug.
" How's it going Paul?"
He sighed. " Good. Just been busy."
" Well it's nice to see you."
He grinned at you. " Yeah. Same. So what're you making?"
You looked at Natalie and widened your eyes. " Chocolate cupcakes."
Natalie laughed." I love chocolate."
" I know you do. Why don't you go and put your stuff away and you can help me."
She nodded.
You put her down and she ran to her room with her bag while your brother sat down at the table.
" How are you y/n?"
You continued to mix. " I'm doing pretty good. Been working a lot."
" That's good. I'm glad you're keeping busy."
" I try."
There was an awkward silence after your comment. Paul always did that when he was judging you. You rolled your eyes and turned to look at him.
" What, Paul?"
He didn't look at you. But you could see his jaw was flexed.
" Who's the guy?"
You furrowed your brow. " What guy?"
He met your stare. Obviously upset. " The guy you're in love with."
You jerked your head back. " What are you talking about? I'm not in love with anyone."
" Common y/n. You only listen to this type of music when you've fallen for someone."
You looked at the radio. It was playing Wonderful World by Sam Cooke. You shook your head and turned to fill up the cake liners.
" I'm not in love with anyone."
Paul sighed. " Well maybe you do. You're just not ready."
You were quietly thinking. You couldn't possibly be in love with Eddie. You guys only knew each other for about 3 months.
" Y/n. Whoever this guy is. Make sure you don't do what you did last time."
You scoffed and turned around. Crossing your arms over your chest. " What did I do last time that was so bad?"
" Well let's start off by dropping out of school."
" You knew that I never wanted to go. I hated college. I never liked going to school. I only went because pop pop wanted me to."
He sat up straight. " Okay how about running off to a different country without telling anyone for a year."
" What's so wrong with me traveling? You know I wanted to see the world."
" Fine! How about when you missed Sandra's funeral."
You looked away, fighting the tears that were coming. How could he say that? You apologized so much for it.
Paul regretted the words as soon as they came out. He immediately got up and put a hand on your shoulder.
" God…I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. It's just." He sighed. " Champ…"
You met his eyes and gave a thin lip. He hadn't called you that in so long.
" I just don't want to lose you again. Especially now that Natalie is used to you being here. She needs her aunt and I need my sister. "
You sniffled and nodded. " I got my head screwed on right now. I'm not gonna bolt again."
Paul hugged you. " Okay. Just be careful."
" Daddy?"
Paul looked down and smiled at his daughter.
" Hey baby girl. Are you ready to make cupcakes?" He asked letting you go and pick her up.
" Are you gonna help us?" She asked.
He looked at you and you gave him a nod.
" Yeah baby girl. I'll help frost them."
Natalie squealed, making you and Paul laugh.
A little bit later you guys started frosting.
" So what are you guys doing tonight?" Paul asked.
"Well." You fed Natalie a little bit of frosting. " We're going to the carnival."
Natalie's eyes were saucers. " Yeah Tee?"
" Yeah baby. After dinner we are gonna go for a little bit."
" Is it going to be just you two?"
" umm I might call Robin to come."
" Well you guys be safe and have fun. Do you need some money?" Paul said pulling out his wallet.
You shook your head at him. "No, we'll be fine."
" What is it Chris?"
Eddie could tell there was something up with her when he parked.
" N-nothing."
" What? Did you not want to be here?" He asked, gesturing towards the carnival.
" No. It's just…I came here last night…Clark brought me."
Eddie flexed his jaw. " Fine. We'll go somewhere else."
Chrissy put her hand on his forearm." Ed, it's okay. There was a couple of rides I missed and I saw a big pink monkey I wanted."
He turned his head and saw her pout. " Alright Chris. Let's just have a good time."
He got off and opened her door. After he helped her out she grabbed his arm and put it over her shoulder.
They walked for a while before getting on a couple of rides. After Chrissy led him to a ring toss booth.
He played two games and was only able to get her a small frog. He was going for a third time when he heard a familiar voices.
" TEE! I WANT TO RIDE THE CUPS."
" Okay baby. What do you say Steven? Want to release your inner child."
Eddie looked around and saw you holding Natalie's hand. With your arm hook with Steve's. A wave of jealousy washed over him. Were you on a date? When did you start hanging out with Steve? First Gareth, now Steve. Why hadn't you told him?
" Ed?"
He turned to Chrissy and she was looking in your direction.
" S-sorry."
" Did you know she was coming here?"
He shook his head.
" Let's go say hi."
Before he could say anything she took off.
Fuck!
" Hey Steve."
Steve turned around. " Oh hey Cunningham."
Chrissy smiled at you.
" Hi y/n."
You looked shocked. But Eddie saw you fake a smile.
" Hey-hey. Umm…"
Chrissy gave you a big toothy smile." Nice to see you again."
You cleared your throat. " Y-yeah. Umm-"
"BUD!!" Natalie squealed.
She let go of your hand and ran to Eddie. Hugging his legs.
His heart melted and he laughed. He bent down to pick her up.
"Hi princess."
Natalie wrapped her little arms around his neck. Giving him a warm hug. When he met your eyes, he saw one of the most beautiful soft smile he had ever seen. Your eyes had this mixture of sad and happy in them. He didn't know whether to be glad or upset from it.
" Hey there." You said giving him an awkward hug. Taking Natalie after.
Why his heart broke then and there, he didn't know. But all he knew was he definitely did not like it.
After a bit, Chrissy suggested that you guys just enjoy the fair together. Eddie could tell that it made you feel uneasy. But before he could say no, you faked another smile and agreed.
The first ride was on the teacups. He wanted to sit with you and Natalie. What he truly wanted was to have this night and all future nights to be spent with you. Just you. But he couldn't. He most definitely shouldn't.
The next ride was the Tilt a Whirl. All of you squished together in one. Eddie was on the end with Chrissy then Natalie then you and finally Steve.
The way Steve held onto you while the ride spun had him fuming. Chrissy noticed it again and got really annoyed with him being quiet. When the ride was over Steve and Natalie wanted to go again. You were feeling nauseous so you sat the ride out.
Chrissy saw Eddie contemplating going too. So she told him to wait with you.
" Are you sure?"
She nodded and went to join Steve. Eddie then went to sit with you. You gave him a thin lip smile before looking at the ground.
" You feeling okay?" He asked.
You let out a slow steady breath. " Yeah. I'm fine. My stomach isn't what it used to be."
He was silent for a second before he turned his body towards you. " Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were gonna be here."
You glanced at him. " It's fine bud. You don't need to apologize for being on a date with your girlfriend."
He went for your hand but you pulled away. Now he was confused.
" S-sorry."
He lifted his hand and gently pulled at your chin.
" Don't be sorry. Remember we're still trying to figure this out."
You nodded and held onto his wrist. A second passed and he dropped his hand and intertwined his long fingers with your short chubby ones.
" Is there something going on with you and Harrington?"
You opened your mouth to say something, then they came back. Eddie shot his head towards Chrissy and then looked back at you when you jerked your hand away.
Nope. Don't like that.
" Ed, Steve said he could get me the stuffed monkey. So we're gonna go try. Why don't you and y/n take the little girl to get some food?"
He should've said no. He should've told her that they were on a date and that he could win her that stupid monkey. But he just agreed. All he cared about was being with you and Natalie tonight.
Once you guys split up, he held out his hand for you and took you to a food stand. While he waited for the food, he watched you putting a little sweater on Natalie. Giving her Eskimo kisses after.
He loved that. Loved how absolutely adorable you two looked together. How such a beautiful loving person you were when no one was looking.
He grabbed the food and sat watching you help Natalie with her hotdog.
" Are you sure you don't want anything? I can get you a pop or a funnel cake."
"No thank you bud. My stomach is still being a poop."
He took a long breath in. " You look really beautiful tonight."
You peered deep into his eyes and gave him another amazing soft smile. " You don't look too bad yourself…but can I say something?"
He licked his lips and stared at you, waiting for you to finish.
" You look better with your leather jacket and battle vest."
He looked down at his cardigan and scoffed a little. " Yeah…Chris made me wear it."
" Oh. S-sorry. No offense."
" No…you're right. This isn't me." He said taking off the itchy sweater. He haphazardly folded it and gave you a wink.
You blushed lightly and bit your lip.
"You're pretty when you blush like that."
"So what, like I'm ugly the rest of the time?"
" N-no." He stuttered. " You're just extra pretty."
You narrowed your eyes at him but smiled right after.
A few moments passed when he got up and went to sit on the other side of Natalie when she offered him some fries.
" So we got interrupted earlier…is there something going on between you and Steve?"
He watched you take a deep breath and take a second to answer. This only served to worry him.
" Would it be a problem if I was?"
That wasn't what he was expecting. A hard YES was shouting at him. But it wasn't fair that he set rules in place for you. Why couldn't the girls he was seeing just want him?
"Uhh no. It-It's fine. Harrington is a good guy…so is Gareth."
"Gare-"
" OH ED! HE DID IT!"
You were cut off by Chrissy's giddiness. When he looked over Steve was grinning away and Chrissy was holding onto a big pink monkey.
" Awe cool."
Both you and Eddie looked down at Natalie who's eyes were huge looking at the toy. She wanted it. Eddie could tell. So he looked at Chrissy.
" Hey Chris, how about you let her have it."
Chrissy then began to pout. " Aww but-but."
Eddie then heard you whisper to Natalie.
" Common baby girl. Let's go get you one too." You then stood up. " It's okay bud. I'll win her one."
You held out your hand for her and went to a stand that had Bushel Toss. Eddie shook his head at his girlfriend.
" What?! You know I wanted this."
Steve and Eddie looked at each other. Giving one another a thin lip. When they didn't say anything Chrissy scoffed. " Whatever. Stevie? Want to go on rides with me."
Steve ran his hand through his perfect hair. "Uhhh well I thought I could help y/n win a-"
" That's okay. Ed can help her. Right Ed?"
Eddie rolled his eyes. Chrissy clearly was flirting with Steve right in front of him. But he wasn't angry at her for it. He was angry because she didn't give Natalie the stupid monkey.
" Yeah man. Here." He handed Steve tickets. " Take her on whatever she wants."
When he walked away he could hear Chrissy giggle.
-
When you left you weren't mad or anything. You were sad. It cut real deep seeing him with her. So instead of showing that it hurt, you pretended. Then he said he was fine with you seeing his friends. That felt overwhelming. You had to get out of there.
While you and Natalie got ready to throw the balls Eddie came and paid for more.
-
Eddie could see you staring at him through his peripheral.
" Double the chances sweetheart."
Eddie was in bed staring up at the ceiling. Listening to the storm that rolled in when he was at the carnival. Just 30 minutes ago he was arguing with Chrissy about her not giving Natalie the toy. A heated argument turned into angry sex. He fucked her so hard that she was screaming his name.
Once she came she knocked out. Now he was laying there thinking about what you were doing. Wondering if you were okay. But something was eating at him. No longer able to stand the lie he told, he got up and got dressed.
When he pulled up to your house, he saw the living room light on. It was down pouring and he waited for a minute trying to practice his speech.
He took a deep breath and jogged to your front door. Before he could knock, you opened it.
" Well aren't you a cliche waiting to happen?"
He looked at the ground and grinned. " I guess I am huh?"
" All you need to do now is confess your undying love."
He looked up and you looked away. Obviously not meaning what you said.
" Y/n…I came here because…" he pressed his lips for a second. " Because I lied earlier…I would have a problem if you were seeing Steve. And I know it's tremendously selfish of me to say that. So I'm gonna try and be okay with it, if you do want to spend time with other people…I just don't want you to spend less time with me."
You stood there, not saying a word. You had this confused look on your face and he felt like he should go.
" Well it's not a declaration of love. Still, I just couldn't go to bed knowing I wasn't honest with you."
You nodded and he said goodnight. He started back to his van when you called him.
He stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"
" There's nothing going on with Steve and with Garethe. Steve was the only one who was free… I honestly don't know exactly what you and I are doing. But whatever it is…I don't want to do it with anyone else…I don't want to spend time with anyone but you."
His heart jumped for joy. That was the best thing he could have heard. Now he knew what he wanted to do. So he walked back to your porch.
He smirked. " Who's the walking cliche now?"
You rolled your eyes and laughed a little. " Common curls. Let's get you dried off so you don't catch a cold."
He was in your room waiting for you to grab some stuff for him. He got curious and looked around. Your room was so simple. Like you didn't need much. It was so different compared to the room he shared with Chrissy. She had insisted that she decorated the place. So naturally the bed had way too many pillows. And random glass balls everywhere. Everything has a place with a label. The bedsheets were silk and a lavender color. They were nice he had to admit, but fuck were they slippery.
Your room however was…for the lack of a better term. Perfect. Only two pillows on the bed with sheets that looked like they came from Walmart or something, because they had random patterns that he normally saw. There was a half empty water bottle on the bedside table and a fan that was clearly used for white noise. He used to have one for the same reason when he lived with his uncle. His eyes wandered and settled on the pictures on the dresser. Somewhere of you posing in what looked like Greece and Italy. Others were of you and Natalie. Goofy smiles and all. He smiled to himself and continued to be nosey.
" So thank God my brother left some stuff over. They might be a little big but they should be okay."
He turned around and took the clothes and towel you handed to him. " Thanks sweetheart."
" You're welcome…you could use mine." You said pointed at your master bathroom.
He nodded and went to shower quickly. Even your bathroom was simple. Not overly decorated or anything. He liked that too. He opened a cabinet and took a gander
Tampons, Tp, extra towels and soap.
Then he went and opened the medicine cabinet. A part of him told him to stop going through your things, but he shut that voice down.
Lotion, perfume…birth control?
He closed the door and decided that was enough of him snooping. Once he was finished showering, he looked at himself in the mirror.
" Kiss her. Kiss her like you've been wanting to." He whispered to himself.
He knew how he wanted this night to end. But only if you were willing. He looked at the shirt you gave him and decided he didn't want to wear it. He took a deep breath and walked out. You weren't in the room though. That's when he heard you humming to There Goes My Baby by The Drifters. He went out to the hall and found you sitting on the couch reading. You looked up and blushed a little seeing him shirtless. He smirked and went to sit next to you.
" This is a good song."
You raised a brow. " I'm surprised you know it."
He put his arm on the back of the couch behind you. " Hey. I know good music when I hear it."
You scoffed a little while closing the book. " And here I thought you were all metal."
He tilted his head and grinned. " Who's judging who now, sweetheart?"
" Not judging. Just wrong… again."
While taking a short breath and holding it he reached up and tucked your hair behind your ear. " My uncle loves this kind of music. He used to play it all the time. I guess you can say he rubbed off on me."
You turned your eyes down to your book. " Yeah? My mom did the same thing. Still does actually."
" That's cool."
You leaned your head on his shoulder and sighed. He wrapped his arms around you and took a whiff of your hair. That's when he noticed the song These Arms Of Mine by Otis Redding just started.
Now or never man.
He softly said your name as he gently pulled up your chin.
" Can…can I kiss you?"
You took a second then moved back out of his arms.
Shit! You're not ready. Fuck!
" Y/n, I-I'm sorry. I just thought-"
"Yes…Yes you can kiss me."
His heart was pounding so hard and his palms got all sweaty. " Are-are you sure? If your not ready-"
" Kiss me Eddie."
He gulped and nodded. "Oh-okay."
This was so damn scary. Time seemed to slow down as he scooted closer and started to lean in. He kept repeating to himself to not fuck this up. To calm down. That it was just a kiss. But he was scared and nervous and excited. He felt every feeling all at once. He could have honestly pass out from it.
He was about six inches away when a loud boom shook the house. Stopping him in his tracks. The sound of the power going down accompanied by the sudden darkness was such a mood killer.
Then you laughed. " Alright God, calm down."
He hung his head. " I'm gonna have a talk with him about how it's rude to interrupt."
You laughed even harder, making him laugh too.
" Common bud. You check on Natalie, while I get my camping lantern out of the garage."
He helped you up and told you to be careful.
With lightning lighting his way, he went to Natalie's door. He peeked in and grinned seeing her complete out, hugging the big orange monkey he won for her.
Sleeps through a storm too.
He silently closed the door and saw a light being shown on his back. When he turned around he caught a glimpse of hurt in your eyes. But instead of hiding it with a fake smile, you looked away and moved the lantern away from your face.
" Umm…Chrissy uhh really went to town on your back."
His stomach fell to the floor. And all the air was snatched from his lungs.
Jesus Christ!
" I-I-I" he swallowed. " Sweetheart I'm sorry."
You walked right up to him holding up the lantern once again. Eyes focused in the middle of his chest.
" Stop being sorry... Girlfriends do that sometimes."
He wanted to cry. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg you to forgive him. But before he could say anything, you quickly checked on Natalie and started for your room.
You sighed." I'm gonna go to bed."
Are you kicking me out?
" If the thunder scares you, you can sleep with me."
He felt so damn guilty when he followed you to bed. And he felt even worse for wanting things to go farther when he literally had sex with Chrissy an hour ago. Clearly you were hurt at what you saw. Honestly he hadn't noticed them. But damn did he wish he would have drove you home instead of Steve. Then he would have never fought with Chrissy. He would have never had sex with her. And he would have never seen that look of pain you had.
He laid there wishing you would say something. Anything about how you were feeling right now. However, you turned your back towards him. He could have cried. He should've left you alone. Now that he hurt you, all he could think about was never doing it again.
" Eddie?"
He lifted his head and looked at you. "Y-yeah?"
" Maybe we can try that kiss another time."
And just like that, he had hope.
" Of course. Whatever you want."
You shuffled a little and softly cleared your throat. " You can hug me now."
A wave of relief engulfed him. He still had a chance. Only this time, he wasn't going to ruin it.
...
@browneyes528 @marsmunson86
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sakuraoora · 2 years
Note
Hey, so, for the "Tonight the music seems so loud" event, can I recommend Unconditionally by Katy Perry, specifically, "I will love you unconditionally" or Lonely by This side of paradise ("If you're lonely come be lonely with me") with Scaramouche? Kinda... hurt/comfort esqu.
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IF YOU'RE LONELY COME BE LONELY
WITH ME <3
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Ships. Scaramouche x Reader
Warnings. Scaramouche backstory spoilers, angst → fluff, Scaramouche is down bad af for reader, reader is a fatui member. Might get some points wrong, not written the best for this idea, unfortunately 🥲
LINK TO THE 200 FOLLOWER EVENT
Notes. Hi Anon! Thanks for submitting ^^. I hope you like it! I also included some other lyrics from “Lonely,” so I hope that works out! I’ve been waiting for the inspo to write some Scaramouche backstory angst so… :)
The text in quotation marks + italics are from the song lonely by the other side of paradise
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“Ask me why my heart's inside my throat
“I've never been in love, I've been alone
“Feel like I've been living life asleep…”
Purple eyes blinked themselves awake to an empty, stone room.
"Are you lonely?"
A nameless young puppet, not yet having a gender, felt a warm hand clasped with their cold one. They looked up to see his creator, a beautiful woman with long purple hair like theirs, but her hair was braided down her back. Her purple kimono was spotless, despite being out most of the time.
As he sank into deep sleep, the last thing he remembered was the warm hand no longer being there, the electro branding at his chest throbbing.
“Are you lonely?”
The nameless puppet, now Kunikuzi, had cut his hair and walked aimlessly in Inazuma City before encountering a boy who introduced himself as Kaedehara [REDACTED] and took him in. He learned that the Kaedehara boy was a blacksmith that made the most excellent weapons of the finest caliber in Inazuma. There, the Kaedehara boy became Kunikuzi’s best-- and only-- friend.
But then, the Kaedehara boy cast him aside after learning about who he really was, just as he would’ve any scrap piece of metal.
“Our fingers dancing where they meet,”
A small boy approached him, his hair, although he appeared very young, was gray. The boy held his hand out to Kunikuzi, and he returned it, touching his cold fingers against the boy’s young ones.
“You seem so lonely…”
Kunikuzi laughed. The boy brought out the best in him, and so, in return, he sewed a small doll, one that looked much like him, and gave the doll to the little boy, who called him “Kuni.”
That doll reminded Kunikuzi of himself. Only, this little doll would be loved and cared for by this little boy.
“Are you lonely?”
Kunikuzi walked briskly back to his home with the boy-- or hut, whichever you’d like to call it-- with an armful of lavender melons, which would be today’s dinner. Kuni wondered what he’d do when he went home… maybe he’d tell a story to the boy, or--
Kunikuzi’s train of thought shattered when he opened his door. The boy lay on the ground in a pile of sakura blossoms, and in his cold, unclenched hand, held his doll, which shed a tear.
“I’ll be the only dream you seek…”
Kunikuzi stoned his heart, a single tear falling down his face. He lit the abode that he lived in and loved so much, and walked away, the stench of burning wood and flesh filling the air, filling him with tears.
“So if you’re lonely, no need to show me…”
Kunikuzi, who now was Scaramouche after he cast away his past life and name, joined the Fatui. There wasn’t a spare smile for him to share now, not a tear that could be shed for anyone.
But at least he was ready to receive a gnosis now, brimming with divine power…
“If you’re lonely then come be lonely with me.”
You were his new secretary. One that he did not ask for AT ALL, but the Tarista had assigned you to him… so he couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t deny that once in a while, he felt like an invisible force tugged at the sides of his mouth, just a little bit. Barely noticeable, and just a single crack compared to the vast, desolate landscape of his heart.
“Lonely… (are you lonely?)”
He’d finally did it.
He’d finally absorbed the electro archon’s gnosis. But he still felt a certain longing for something that he couldn’t quite place his hand on. A certain… emptiness. One that he thought would be filled by the gnosis, but was still left empty.
The crack in his heart widened, and a stray ray of sunshine peaked into his heart for the first time in a long time.
“Passion is crashing as we speak…”
You found him one night in Sumeru completely by accident. You had found a nice stargazing area and were staring at the stars when you were on a mission to Sumeru to accompany Il Dottore, because you’d been reassigned to be under his command after Scaramouche left the fatui.
A rustle sounded nearby, putting you on alert. You drew your weapon, but when a familiar figure stepped out of the forest, you immediately put it away.
“Scaramouche?”
“You seem so lonely… (are you lonely?)”
Scaramouche looked at you in shock. “What are you doing here?”
“You’re the ground my feet won’t reach…”
“I’m here… accompanying Il Dottore… sir,” you stammered, at a loss of words. The stars in the night sky twinkled as the two of you stared at each other.
“You don’t need to use honorifics anymore. After all, I’m not your superior or even a part of the fatui anymore,” he said, looking up into the sky that he knew was all a lie. Yet… there was something magical about being here, under the stars, no matter how fake they were.
“So if you’re lonely,”
Looking at you, Scaramouche knew what he felt was missing.
He was missing you.
“Darling, you’re glowing…”
Looking at Scaramouche, there was something about him that felt very different, yet one that you still couldn’t quite place. Scaramouche grabbed your hand, and you felt the aura shift.
“If you’re lonely, come be lonely with me.”
What? You thought, your mind racing. Your heart beat faster and heavier, as well as starting to grow tunnel vision.
“Scaramouche… he likes… me?” You wondered, unintentionally saying it aloud as Scaramouche snickered at your expression.
“You do realize you said that aloud, right?” He said, cracking a smile that you’d never seen before.
“Underneath the pale moonlight, dreaming of a circus life…”
Your shocked face gave it away, blushing hard and looking away from him.
“I… like you too.”
“Carousels and Ferris lights, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine…”
“…[NAME], instead of calling me Scaramouche, please call me… Kunikuzi.”
“‘Cause I’m lonely, I’m so lonely, if you hold me, I’ll be your only…”
The next day, Dottore checked your tent only to find it empty. He laughed, wondering what could’ve possibly dragged you away from the fatui, even knowing how severe the punishment for leaving without permission was. Like Superior, like subordinate, he supposed.
Meanwhile, you were staring at the purple haired boy sitting next to you, a smile bubbling up onto your face as you conversed with Scaramo--... no, Kunikuzi.
He was truly beautiful when he smiled.
“Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?)”
Wandering the lands with you, Scaramouche felt whole and complete. Sure, he was a wanted criminal in probably 5 out of the seven nations, but his time with you felt well spent. He no longer felt that nagging feeling, and no longer felt so lonely.
“Our fingers dancing where they meet,”
Scaramouche firmly held your hand in his as you sat down by a beach you happened to be nearby, watching the sky turn from shades of brilliant, scarlet red like autumn leaves to a dark purple like Kunikuzi’s hair.
“You seem so lonely (Are you lonely?)”
No longer did Scaramouche look at humans with nothing but fury. This time, he felt… compassion, and attachment.
The gods still angered him at the slightest thought, but you assured him that he needs time to come into acceptance with his past.
“I'll be the only dream you seek,”
You smiled as you pulled Scaramouche along.
“Come on, silly. We don’t want to miss Yoimiya’s fireworks tonight!”
Scaramouche picked up the pace as he followed you to a cliff to watch the fireworks, the multicolored sparks illuminating the night sky. Every thought left him as he was enraptured by your smile, and the way your hair was lit up by the fireworks. You were truly stunning, and captivated his whole attention.
“So if you're lonely, no need to show me… if you're lonely, come be lonely with me”
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REBLOGS HELP MORE THAN LIKES!
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TAGLIST. (send an ask to be added!)
@teyvattales @ghost9878
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phenomenalgirl9 · 13 days
Text
Soobin x Reader: MIA
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Summary: You have been MIA for a few days and Soobin is worried.
Pairings: Soobin x Reader
Genre: Supernatural au, Fluff, 13+
Warnings: Talk of allergies (rashes), Insecurities and Quasimodo.
W/c: 662
A/n: I had some ugly rashes recently and I hate them and was being dramatic, this is my delulu brain's cooking in that situation.
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Soobin: You’re doing it again… -What? Soobin: Pulling away. What’s up? -Nothing Soob.
I stared at the screen, the typing bubble came up and went down a couple of times, Nothing. So, he believed it, May be.
Soobin and you have been dating for a couple of years, he knows you very well, too well at times. His Idol image never altered the way he is with you.
----------------------------------------------------
3 years ago
“Is this seat taken?” the guy asked, he seemed kinda cute. You looked around to see that this chair was the only vacant seat at the café. “Sure” you said and went back to the tab to complete your illustration.
“You must be an artist” You heard the boy say, you looked up and nodded, fixing your glasses. “I don’t mean to pry but I have seen you here a couple of times” he added. “Yeah, I am kind of an artist. I freelance and do commissions as well and sometimes I do some random stuff for my own” you said and smiled at the cute stranger who seemed to be interested in you to strike up conversations.
“So, are you like a content creator?” He asked and that’s how it all started you, he followed you on your social media, he commented on a few of your pieces and then it went on to dms and chats.
You were always a bit insecure so opening up to him was a bit difficult, not to say the first time you got to know what he does for a living, you were taken aback. It was Soobin, he dragged you out of your shell.
----------------------------------------------------
So, Soobin knows that you have certain phases when you recede back into the shell and it gets difficult, and he is always beside you during those times.
But this time things were different, even he knew it, God even you knew it was silly but you couldn’t help it. You had cancelled on him thrice in the last week, the one time he asked to visit you, you made a dumb excuse of your cousin visiting you, and even your Security guard (Yes, Soobin greets them every time he walks in so he knows them) told him that you haven’t left the house in a week.
You heard a knock on the door and thought that your delivery has arrived so you got prepared and opened the door to see your tall, cute boyfriend standing at the doorway. “Are you sick?” was the first thing he asked and you shook your head. “Y/n? Why are you wearing a mask indoors? You don’t even wear one outside” he said, and tried to grab it, but you moved away and he followed you inside and shut the door.
“Babe~” he whined “take that off” he said and finally grabbed you, trapping you between his tall built and one arm and taking the mask of with the other. You pushed him away turning around. “Please Soobin I look hideous” you said.
“Hey! You can never be hideous! What’s wrong” He asked again and grabbed your shoulders. “Move your hand” he said, and you finally did.
“What?” he asked scanning your face. “Did you get an allergy?” he asked. “Yeah and the rashes look hideous” you whined, covering your face again.
“No, you don’t” He said “Even if you did, I’d still love you” he said hugging you.
“What if they don’t go away and I end up like Quasimodo” you whined against him. He giggled, gosh he’s so cute.
“I think that’s a bit stretch and I’d still love you okay!” He said, patting your head.
“Even if I looked like Quasimodo?” you asked looking up at him.
“Even if you looked like Quasimodo” he said kissing your temples. “But, did you see a doctor though?” he suddenly remembered.
“Yeah, I did, the medicines are going on” you said.
“It’ll get better” he said caressing your head, as you snug closer.
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Masterlist
My Networks: @kvanity-main @sandsofire
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kates-sweet-escape · 2 years
Text
KinnPorsche - It's all a ruse (a theory)
Warning: This post contains spoilers for KinnPorsche the Series. Read at your own risk. I haven't read the novel, only bits and pieces that I've found online so this is purely based on the TV Series. Also, this post is based on the work of other amazing Tumblr creators that will all be credited within this post. Brace yourself - this is a long one.
Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert, I am just a german romance-novel writer. Also, I come from a eurocentric perspective as I was raised in Germany by a British mother and a German father.
Additional KinnPorsche Content by me:
KinnPorsche: The question of true privilege (Meta - Episode 6)
KinnPorsche: Kinns Breakdown - I can't believe you still want me (Meta - Episode 7)
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Hello everyone.
I swear to god, the things this show and this fandom make me do. I usually don't share theories. Or meta. Or anything. I left the active part of fandoms a long time ago, but here I am, typing away with a facemask on and a half-empty glass of wine right next to me, cause damn I need a little self-care after watching the emotional rollercoaster that was Episode 9.
Ever since Episode 9 aired I've read a lot of opinions about Kinn, his character, and his choice not to trust Porsche. Reactions within the fandom vary from genuine understanding to absolute outrage, a fascinating mixture of empathy and cancel culture.
And ever since that devastating moment at the end of the episode I've been thinking. A lot. Maybe more than what is healthy considering the fact that this is just a TV-Show that somehow managed to take over my life.
Things didn't quite add up to me. I was caught in this weird emotional limbo of I do understand Kinn as a fellow individual with massive trust issues caused by ex-lovers that betrayed us and After what they've shown us last week and with the emotional progress those two characters have made, Kinns reaction does not make that much sense from a writers perspective.
So I went back to watch those last few minutes over and over again (and before you ask me - no, I am not okay! Porsches pleading and soft "Ai Kinn" will haunt me tonight), took screenshots, read the previous meta while trying to fit the puzzle pieces together. And then the brilliant @moerusaii posts this amazing piece of meta that convinced me to share my thoughts with you guys.
Because I have the theory that this might be an elaborate ruse by Kinn and Porsche to trick Tawan and Vegas.
And here is why:
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Kinn, Tawan and that one mirror frame
This is that one frame that kickstarted it all for me in Episode 9. @luckydragon10 whom I'm very much a fan of, has talked about what mirrors signify in this post, and ever since then I've been paying a lot more attention to the usage of mirrors in KinnPorsche.
We see Tawan and Kinn alone in Tawans old apartment to retrieve the evidence of who is behind the Italians (which is probably useless anyway - and YES all the shade for this b*tch). While Tawan is "remembering" the real location of the USB stick, this shot happens. We see the real Tawan, but we only see the reflection of Kinn, probably signifying that Kinn has a hidden agenda, keeping the truth hidden from Tawan while showing a side of himself that is not real and only a mere reflection of himself.
It's only a short frame but something about it feels so deliberate that I couldn't possibly ignore it.
Maybe it also means that Tawan is only seeing an old version of Kinn, feeding into the issues he had rather than seeing the real Kinn that has maybe gotten rid of them with a partner by his side he can truly trust, all without his vicious ex-lover noticing who is focused on the reflection he is familiar with.
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Kinn breaking the fourth wall
Okay, I've already mentioned @moerusai and her amazing post but I still want to add a little bit to that. (And thank you Mo for sending me a DM so I could use your gifs that looks a million times better than my screenshot!)
When I watched Episode 9 for the first time, this shot made me so uncomfortable. Kinn looks straight at the audience, no filter, no mirror, no nothing. And for the first time, I felt like I am looking at the soul of this man, bruised and bare and begging to be understood and to be trusted. It felt like he looked at me to tell me that things are going to be okay, as long as we keep our eyes on him and see past what is shown, willing to stare into the shadows until we can see everything that's hidden in the darkness.
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The lighting when Vegas and Porsche are alone is not green.
We all remember this scene from Episode 7. The scene where Porsche and Vegas stumble into the bathroom. The light in this scene is green, signifying danger as the amazing @antique-forvalaka has pointed out in her "KinnPorsche and the Use of Color" Series that I will mention again later on. It has been pointed out by @yellingaboutkp in this post that Porsche faked being drunk because he already suspected Vegas being shady and wanted him to show his true colors (no pun intended). If we assume this to be true, then Vegas should remain a threat to Porsche, his light remaining green.
Now look at this:
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The color in this scene is teal and not green. We've seen this color before, in episode 5, and as @antique-forvalaka pointed out in this post this specific mixture of blue and green is used when there is a danger that Porsche is able to handle. When he is not as helpless as he appears to be. When he is forming a plan.
But Kate, what does Vegas have to do with any of this? He isn't Tawan! Yes, my lovelies, you are correct. He isn't Tawan. But ever since he doubled down on the Kinn Shot His Ex Rumor, I am convinced that he's got something to do with it. Especially considering his disgustingly perfect timing and his offer to Porsche to run away together. In addition to that, we know that he will storm the compound from the trailer. So he is most definitely one of the main villains of the show and just like a snake with its beautiful and shiny green scales, he is able to slither into anything just so he can poison it in one swift bite.
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We are still waiting for that handshake (Trailer)
Yes, the trailer. I am even going back that far. I am sure that this scene takes place at Yok's bar (she's a true MVP) and I think it might even be a flashback where Kinn and Porsche talked about their plan, far away from prying eyes and ears. And what could be more romantic than a date night like that? A couple that schemes together stays together!
But all jokes aside, this scene might also take place later on when the two of them have drifted apart, signified by the fact that Porsche is wearing Jeans, something he stopped doing ever since getting emotionally closer to Kinn and adapting part of his style. So I might be completely wrong about this and it's not them scheming but instead reconciling.
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When it all goes up in flames - Porsche remains (KinnPorsche: The Hidden messages)
And since we are already on a trip down memory lane, I am taking you guys back to "KinnPorsche. The Hidden Messages" when it was announced that we would still be getting KinnPorsche the Series after months of thinking that it might get canceled.
We see Kinn standing in front of a banner with the word TRUST on it. It goes up in flames, revealing Porsche waiting behind it.
This could mean a great many things, especially now that they've decided to give him a phoenix tattoo that he also adapted into his name as an underground boxer. It could mean that he is rising from the ashes after Kinn burned the trust they've shared. Or it could mean that he is rising from the ashes of the trust that Tawan had broken when he sold Kinns information to the Italians. That Porsche is the one rebuilding Kinns trust from the dustry crumbs that Tawan left behind, willing to survive in the heat of the flames that lick at his skin, threatening to burn him too.
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Either way, I think we can all agree that Porsche is the only one that Kinn can and should trust, and I sure as hell hope that my theory is correct and that Kinn knows that too.
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aita-blorbos · 6 months
Note
Am I the asshole for putting someone in a time-loop?
This is a bit of a long one. Let me assure you of this: It was for the good of everyone else. I wish it hadn't come to it.
So, I (old as time, NB masc-presenting) am the creator of my world. My sibling (slightly younger than time, robot) is sort of like my... beta tester. Who denies beta worlds by destroying them. It's a whole ordeal, we don't exactly get along all the time. Anyway.
Now, this version of the world was going on just fine. My little people were a little cocky, sure, some more-so than others, however this was the best go with this timeline yet.
But the thing is... we know how things are going to end up in the future. It's horrible. But it might be necessary.
So, to prevent it from going as badly as it could (and to prevent my somewhat trigger-happy sibling from getting any ideas), I enlisted a few people to tether one of my sibling's arms to this certain point in time. Those being: P (oldest mortal there is, NB) and another person, D (ehhh, then-30-ish?, M) who isn't super important to the tale.
I, unfortunately, had to wipe P's memories of his life prior to the loop- they are slowly piecing it together themselves, of course, I am not so cruel to not allow them that- and had the other person imprint them with a new identity.
P was the one who did most of the work. I commend them for that. When the time came to it, they fought one of my sibling's cores, won, and went to my and my sibling's dimension to finish the job.
And this is when things get... messy. See, when a mortal enters our dimension, they sort of... cease to exist in the most literal way possible. But with the tethering, their existence begins anew - a new identity, but themselves none the less.
This was a fine system, but then I found out they were remembering the loop. It had only happened once so far; but I knew I had to explain this soon enough. They hadn't had an audience with me before.
And so I did. I told them it was actually a rather good set-up; although they are stuck doing the same thing over and over, they are spared from the mad future that will befall slash has befallen everyone else.
Their work was vital to the future ending out right (after all the bad stuff happens, of course) but yet, they were still upset! I suppose I understand it might be a difficult subject for a mortal to find comfort in, but I thought if I had explained the situation, they would at least understand where I was coming from. It's all for the greater good; the bigger picture.
AITA?
(TL;DR - Trapped someone in a time-loop in order to reinforce reality. They started remembering things immediately, and were still upset when I tried to explain the situation.)
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anxious-little-faicye · 6 months
Text
The FNAF Movie (no spoilers)
So, I just got back from watching the so awaited Five Nights at Freddy's movie, and boy oh boy... I can't even put into words how emotional I am. It was such a wild, crazy, amazing thing to actually be sitting down on a cinema and watch a movie I waited for- what, 8 years? I remember being a child and first learning about the game through ✨youtube✨ (as most of us did let's be honest), and I'm not exaggerating when I say that changed my life forever. I got into gaming and social media because of it, I made some of my best friends because of it (shout out to the gang I used to rp FNAF with on elementary school), I discovered my interests and passions that shaped who I was and who I am, and it all started out because of a silly horror game about haunted animatronics.
And today? Today it wasn't me that went to see that movie. It was the lonely, shy 9 year old girl that got bullied at school because she liked "weird boy stuff" and hanged out with boys because they understood her. It was the 10 year old girl that saw FNAF 3 and 4 come out and discovered she loved to uncover the lore of the franchise and watched about a million theory videos. It was the 11 year old girl that watched lived as two youtubers played Sister Location the day it came out. It was the 15 year old teenager that rediscovered her love for the franchise and found Matpat's channel and started to make her own theories. It was that 16 year old teen that read the first trilogy of FNAF books and from then on took it upon herself to know every single detail about the story, plus finding out about our beloved King Of Five Nights At Freddy's™ and watched his FNAF playlist top to bottom.
It was them.
So I went there- with my crappy Vanny mask I made in 3 days, with the Freddy pushy I've had since I was 11, with my dad' stolen purple shirt, and honestly? I had the time of my life. I was at the edge of my seat the whole movie, screaming and hitting (lovingly /j) my friends every time a very specific detail came out, giggling and kicking my feet once You Know Who appeared or when something that matched the lore perfectly happened. And once me and my friends came out, we were all still yelling and singing our lungs out to FNAF songs. It was more that I could've hoped for.
I won't go into much detail on this post, because I wanna keep it as much spoiler-free as I can, but I'm just gonna say this... This movie was a hug from Scott Cawthon to all fans of the franchise, especially those that have been here from the very beginning. It was his gift. His way of saying 'thank you'. Sure, some plot points were absolute bonkers, and to be fair it lacked a bit of the Spooky Factor and more gore. But overall... I FREAKING LOVED EVERY MOMENT OF IT. I felt the same excitement that when I first discovered the games and started to get into the lore. You can tell that a lot of heart and soul was put into this, and that it wasn't made for a quick cash grab.
Was it worth the wait? Well, that depends on how you wanna see it. Keep in mind that this is planned to be a trilogy, so it has to have some loose plot points in order to set the ground for a second movie- let alone leave stuff out from the games and books. Is wasn't groundbreaking, and no, it doesn't include every single detail about the story. But it was a perfect introduction to the universe, and I think that's all it's set up to be. But I personally thought it was SO worth it and, let's be real, we've waited 8 fucking years for this! Even if it turned out to be a piece of crap (which it isn't), I would still be excited.
Anyway, yeah, was the movie perfect? No. Was a bit weird and confusing at some points? Yes. But it was made for the fans, for those of us that FNAF played a huge role in our lives as kids, and for those of us who just discovered the franchise not so long ago. It was made with love- for the games, for the creator, and for all of us. The fans that have built an amazing community that still stands strong today, a community filled with incredibly talented people like artists, singers, animators, youtubers, theory crafters (you're doing God's Work jsdhsj), cosplayers, editors, writers, the list just goes on and on. It was made with all of us in mind. So as broken and confusing as it might be, is beautiful. What represents is beautiful. And hey, it wouldn't be FNAF if it weren't broken and confusing am I right fellas?
*cries in Theorist*
So I guess my final thoughts are just... Thank you.
Thank you Scott Cawthon for all those years of scares and joy you have given me, thank you for making the game that would shape my life forever, thank you for loving your fans as much as you do, and thank you for not giving up on this movie despite all the things that happened along the way. You might have fucked up big time on some things, but I would be lying to myself if I said I don't appreciate you. Thank you for the best moments of my life.
And thank YOU, Five Nights at Freddy's community for everything you have done these years. If the franchise is what it is today is because it always had an amazing and creative fanbase backing it up and making sure it never died, no matter what sticks and stones came our way. I am so proud to be a part of this, and I hope we'll still be together many years to come.
And thank me, for making it alive and in one piece to the FNAF movie. Damn it took a lot of pain to get here, but I did it... I survived this long. And I can survive even longer.
I hope you can stay alive 5 more nights for this :)
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ravens-dagger · 1 year
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I just had the most insane lore idea pop into my head about Ranni while watching a lore video about the demigod family tree.
The creator was talking about their theory of a possible connection between Ranni and the amber egg Rennala cradles. This creators theory is that Ranni was born from the egg itself which is why Rennala is so obsessed with it, thinking in her "rich slumber" that she could use the egg to rebirth Ranni (of course that last bit is also a theory but just stay with me here).
HOWEVER I had a thought pop into my head that what if the Great Rune inside the amber egg was only placed in there later by Ranni? I know we hear from Gideon that the Great Rune Rennala holds is inside the egg, but are we 100% sure that Radagon, liel hound of the Golden Order, would just yoink out a rather important Great Rune from the Elden Ring as a parting gift? Cuz since it's the Rune of the Unborn and is used for rebirth, I've had this theory that the removal of that Rune is what really kickstarted the issues of having no Rune of Death. The Erdtree lost its ability to rebirth new souls. Since Radagon clearly wants so badly for the GO to work, I highly doubt he would've given away such an integral part of the life cycle of the Erdtree. Not to mention that the current state of Marika/Radagon implies that in order to make changes to the ER it has to be physically removed from their body.
Having no True Death works as long as the Erdtree can continue to recycle souls. But if the ability to rebirth is removed, that cycle falls apart immediately. As much as I want to believe Radagon loved Rennala I don't think he would also do something that's so sabotaging to his and Marika's order.
Instead, I do think it's entirely possible that Radagon merely gave Rennala the amber egg as it's a concentrated piece of the Erdtree; a symbol to remember him by. Perhaps people are born from these amber eggs, as there are many existing theories about people being physically born from the roots of the tree. But had Radagon given her the Great Rune of the Unborn before going to "marry" Marika, things would've fallen apart a lot quicker than they did. I don't think it's entirely crazy to think that along with casting aside her flesh, Ranni gave the Great Rune she inherited to her mother. Rennala is no demigod, so she has no claim to a rune on her own.
The only remaining question is why Ranni would give the Great Rune to her mother. Granted, this does lead into some more far-reaching theories I have about just how much planning went into Godwyn's assassination and who all Ranni was truly allied to (another post for another time). I don't have many answers for the motives at the moment just cuz it did come to me a few minutes ago but I felt the need to write it all down because it feels both too insane and logical at the same time. I feel like the main wrench in this is the fact that with the other rune currently disconnected from the ER, the Rune of Death, we know it was still able to be used to kill gods a-la the Godskins until it was officially sealed away by Maliketh. This of course was further compounded after the assassination of Godwyn. However since Rennala has been essentially using the amber egg to continuously rebirth the sweetings, it does give credence that she is essentially in control of rebirth even though her mind isn't entirely there. She, like Maliketh, is weilding a Great Rune that has been separated from the Elden Ring.
Please feel free to correct me or add, I admit this theory sounds kinda insane and it has its holes as mentioned above but wow this felt like such a light bulb moment and I wanna see other people's thoughts on my crack theory.
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Changing Digital Landscapes & Longevity - A word to the “OGs”
This guide started out as a very small word document I intended to send to a friend looking to get into the industry. At the time, I had been camming for a little over a year - but the process of offering the advice I’d gathered at the time felt deeply fulfilling and ultimately led me to build this resource page. 
Despite months if not years of silence on my behalf, it amazes me to still log in to find unread asks in my inbox. People still reach out to me on various social media platforms asking if I “still have that advice guide anywhere” - or if I mention it on the platforms where I’m actually active, some people are surprised to hear that I was the one behind the keyboard. 
This blog and the articles I write are mainly geared toward newcomers, and while I may answer the odd question here and there for more experienced performers and creators, by and large this is something of a 101. 
Today’s article is not for the newbies. Today I want to write to the veterans - the industry “OGs”. I want to write to others who started around when I started, way back in the early 2010s, because I feel like I need to listen to myself think for a bit. Maybe what I have to say will resonate with some of you, too.
Are you tired? I’m tired. I’m a mix of a million things - I’m grateful, I’m nostalgic, I’m burnt out, I’m uninspired, I’m looking at other industries (specifically vanilla ones) and I’m interested but scared. I’m bored of algorithms and watching my friends accounts get deleted. Sometimes I’ll think of a face and try to attach a name to it - or I’ll see an old photo from years ago and think, “I wonder where she went?”. Sometimes those old photos are shoddy, grainy screenshots and I wonder how she feels about them, wherever “she” may be now.
Most of all, I feel like I’m sort of standing on this big pile of memories and I’m asking myself how the fuck I got here and how the fuck I’m still, somehow, here. Did you think things would go on this long? I don’t think I ever imagined I’d be writing here at 31 years old, let alone still hustling online. 
I try to keep a level head when I look at news headlines; when I watch my own cost of living skyrocket at the grocery store or in gas prices, I wonder about the lives of the people who make my life possible and how much things might continue to change. I remind myself of the line I used to always say over on MF/C - “there’s always money to be made!”, and sometimes, very quietly, I snip back: “for how long, though?” 
The industry will always boom. There will always, always be money to be made. But sometimes I find myself wondering how much longer I, myself, will continue to make it - not for fear of “aging out”, but more of an awareness that I am losing steam. 
This life is very strange. In many ways, it’s absolutely ideal: it’s still the job where I make my own hours, where I am my own boss, where I call the shots. Some pieces of it still feel like it did in the early cam days - many other pieces are nothing the same at all. 
Remember when we’d release one or two videos a month? I look at my content folder for last month and feel like I could have “done more” - and yet I shot over 20 different looks, all with corresponding videos. Remember when girls would “go for rank” and then take time off? I mean Jesus, that was a whiiiile ago now - I guess the top 20 solidified pretty tightly around 2015 or whatever - but at least that felt like it at least alluded to sustainability. 
I catch myself wanting to say, “I’m not complaining” - like if I have anything to say along the lines of being tired or wondering what the fuck I’m going to do next somehow makes me a bad person, or an ungrateful person, or something along those lines. It feels bad for business, too, which is an almost scarier thought. 
A non-industry friend of mine and I spoke last weekend about work and I mentioned I was having a tough time “feeling inspired”, and she said,
“You’ve been working the same job for almost a decade. Most people switch jobs every five or six years.”
In many ways the “job” has changed, especially after having moved from exclusively live streaming to primarily content creation - but fundamentally, it is the same. We reinvent ourselves and look through new perspectives to keep ourselves going, and the things we like about this line of work are likely still alive and well - but maybe it’s not a surprise to feel the way I’m feeling. Maybe I’m not alone, either. 
Does anyone else feel like whatever the next step is, it has to be “big” somehow? Like if I were to do something else - something non-industry - it would have to either make me the same amount of money or be something so passion driven and different and interesting and “wow, she did THAT” kind of a thing ... almost in an attempt to make it feel “worth it” to have my attention taken elsewhere. I daydream about buying some farm out in the middle of nowhere a lot lately. I follow along on Twitter with one of the OGs who has literally done just that. I wonder how many of us also want to go where it’s quiet and slow. 
Anyway, more than anything I want to just say that it’s fucking insanity that putting out new content practically daily and fighting tooth and nail against algorithms that fucking hate us has become some sort of normal, acceptable thing. Are you tired? I’m fucking tired, man. I’m grateful and I’m kind of in awe of everything that’s happened over the last near-decade, and I’m in awe of those of us who have seen things rise and fall and rise and start to fall again, and somehow have still stuck around. 
What a strange little life we’ve made. I hope all of you are well - and if you’re not really sure how to answer the “how are you doing” question, just know we’re in the same boat. 
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smurphygames · 4 months
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On Discourse.
Taken from my blog. This post mostly relates to the twittersphere but I thought some folks here might find it interesting:
On Discourse.
I’ve been writing bits and pieces for tabletop role-playing games for just over a year now and if there’s a single piece of advice I’d pass on to anyone starting anew it’s this: don’t bother with the Discourse.
Capital D Discourse, that is. Discussing, debating, and arguing with fellow creators is part of any art form (especially one so early in its development) but Discourse takes on a very specific meaning in rpgs: Tired, played out discussions and arguments over short form social media platforms that swirl around for months and years, spawning entrenched camps who squabble for so long they can barely remember the original point of division. An exhaustive definition is difficult but once you’ve been around long enough, it’s a bit like porn or fascism - you know it when you see it.
I take the stance that capital D Discourse is, at best, basically never worth engaging in and, at worst, actively damaging to the hobby. This might be an uphill battle persuasively - everyone seems to love the mud pit, popular creators notwithstanding - but hopefully I can provide some alternatives to where we’re at now.
Nothing good comes from Discourse.
I’d like to start off by telling a little story. About 8 (?) months ago, another writer in the industry was being dogpiled on for a poorly phrased tweet that seemed to criticise another game when they really intended to praise it. A number of well known creators joined in on this, even past the point that the original poster had clarified what they had meant. I felt that they had been unfairly maligned and responded to the thread that had been the catalyst for the dogpile. During the same period, I had been talking to a distributor about getting print copies of one of my games sold in their store. Shortly after the response tweet went up, I found that they had blocked me on twitter and from that point they stopped responding to my emails. Clearly they didn’t feel the same way that I did about the situation. As the week passed, the drama faded into obscurity but the bridge remained burned.
The point of this tale is not to say “don’t share what you think for fear of being blacklisted by other people in the industry” but to highlight how easily even a minor infraction can have significant consequences for a small creator. Most distribution operations in the indie ttrpg space are run by one or two people so getting on their bad books can limit you significantly. And I understand that a lot of you upon hearing this will go “well, screw them. I shouldn’t have to limit my speech for their sake” and I agree with you but, fuck it man, I was out of a job at the time and that money would have been really useful to pay bills. Losing out on that just wasn’t worth commenting on a drama that everyone forgot about within the month.
Ultimately, you just have to weigh up what you’re getting out of participating in stuff like this. At best, you might get a bit of clout, which you can achieve anyway by just writing good books. At worst, if someone is having a bad day, misreads what you’re trying to say, or has decided that your opinion on a niche topic within a niche field is worth not engaging with you permanently, you might lose out on future opportunity
(Obviously if you don’t give a shit about trying to make a living from this stuff then this doesn’t really matter and you can go nuts. YMMV, weigh it up yourself).
All Discourse is performative.
Here are three topics that I have seen rotate around twittersphere repeatedly and constantly:
Which ideology produces better roleplaying games, Storygames or OSR/Trad Games?
Is railroading bad gamemastering and/or morally evil?
Does system matter?
These discussions have gone on for so long, have been passed around so many times that I’d stake that almost everything there has to be said about them, has already been said. At this point, the phrase “system matters” may as well be a sleeper agent activation phrase for the majority of internet-brained games writers. Except, instead of doing cool spy shit, they just get really annoying for half an hour. Let’s face it, even if there was more to be said on these topics, you probably won't be the one saying them.
For my money, these recurring arguments are no longer about advancing discussion in any meaningful way. Rather, participating in them is a form of belief signalling. If I’m an osr/trad creator, for example, I’m likely to extol the virtues of sandbox play and how it produces more meaningful roleplaying experiences because that’s what’s going to play well to my audience (and also because my products reflect these values). It’s marketing, basically.
The easiest litmus test for me on the genuinity of someone trying to push a specific game theory position is to see if they’ve bothered to write anything about it in a more structured, longform medium. Most tabletop creators call themselves writers, so, if they’re committed to discussing these specific topics ad nauseam, why won’t they write an essay about them?
This, I think, may be my biggest concern when it comes to the way that Discourse generally functions. If we want to have serious, ongoing debates about this medium, it makes no sense to host them on short form social media websites that could literally fall apart any day. Blog posts and essays are easy to source, cite, and archive but barely anyone will bother to save twitter/tik tok posts unless they’re looking to call someone out. We can find a topical example of this issue with a recently disgraced creator, Noora Rose. Noora was highly involved in rpg Discourse and, regardless of anyone's personal opinion of her, it’d be disingenuous to say that she hadn’t made significant contributions to the conversation. Now, post-controversy, her account has been wiped. Everything she ever said on her page, every joke, insult, interaction is gone. Living only in the fallible memories of those who had witnessed them. And this is just a single creator, what happens when Musk fucks up for the last time and the whole website goes under? It happened before with google plus and mark my words it will happen again. Write. Essays.
There is always more happening than meets the eye.
Beef. Ttrpg folks love getting into it almost as much as they hate writing full paragraphs. I’m not entirely sure what makes people in this space so eager to get into flame wars with each other (my working theory is that it’s the explosive combination that so many of them are a) very online, b) queer and, c) leftists) but it seems more common than other niche communities. The trouble you run into, as a new person in the space, is that it’s very difficult to figure out who doesn’t like who, doubly so if you’re not neurotypical or not on the internet as often. There is a web of drama and division that runs across many years, personas, and websites. Some of which no longer exist.
I’m not sure if I can evidence this position, but I’d estimate that a 40% of Discourse begins not because of any legitimate disagreement occurring but because two groups of people who don’t like each other (often for very stupid reasons) have found an excuse to publicly brawl under a proxy argument. Inevitably, unaware spectators get dragged into the mudslinging without the wider context, throwing more kindling on the fire. It’s a mess.
Final thoughts.
Discourse sux. Please write essays. If you do, I will read them and other people will too. If what you write is sufficiently invigorating, they might even write their own in response. I may have failed my English courses but I'm pretty sure that’s how An Academia happens.
Happy holidays and stay frosty.
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