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#the kraken

The only math I was ever able to do is calculate the number of brain cells the Hargreeves have

  • It’s safe to say Luther was always a big fat 0
  • Diego has 1, and it’s barely staying alive
  • Alison had 1 and it died before the events of the show took place
  • Klaus actually had 5, but they died because of the drugs and alcohol
  • Five actually has 4, he used to have 7, but two died when he came in on the apocalypse and the other when he saw what his idiots of siblings have been doing and one is kept safe by Grace in case something happens to him
  • Ben had 2, one died with him, but the other remained acting as a replacement for Klaus’
  • Vanya had 2, but one died when Reginald locked her up the first time and the other is dead on the inside, so she’s left with 0.5
  • Grace keeps one safe as I mentioned

In conclusion, the Hargreeves have a total of 7.5 brain cells, which is more than I originally believed

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Hi. :) could you please ship me with someone from Riverdale or the Umbrella Academy? I'm a 5'6 girl, pale skin and black hair and brown eyes. I like to draw and read a lot, I do pole dance in my free time (I have fairly large muscles for a girl, and my flexibility is fairly good). I'm currently in med school. I keep to myself a lot but when I actually make Friends I am very sociable and I have a sarcastic streak a mile long.

I ship you with: Sweet Pea!

Originally posted by hersheyjoneswuzhere

  • it’s a good thing you’re in med school because Sweet Pea gets injured a lot
  • so you would have to bandage him up a lot after fights and stuff
  • he loves your sarcasm, and he will joke right back with just as much fire
  • he loves all your drawings; they’re really good 
  • also, he likes how focused you look when you get into a good book
  • although, sometimes he distracts you because he wants attention
  • you wear his jacket, and both of you love it
  • let’s be real for a second: you’d own the shit out of that serpent dance
  • (even though it’s an unfair, sexist initiation)

I ship you with: Diego Hargreeves!

Originally posted by quikkksilver

  • Diego’s knuckles are always bruised from boxing, but you make sure he doesn’t take it too far and break a wrist or something
  • he loves how sarcastic you are; most people are too scared to sass him
  • he’s secretly soft on the inside, but he only acts that way around you
  • but he can also be …rough … so it’s a good thing you’re strong
  • he knows you would never make fun of his speech impediment
  • which means he trusts and values you so much
  • he makes sure you have access to all the books in the Hargreeves’ house
  • he loves your drawings, especially the shading, and you draw an image of him and he’s so honored and happy

A/N: I did both because I thought ‘why the hell not,’ I hope that’s ok. Thanks for the ask; I hope you like your ships! Have a nice day!

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I just want the hargreeves siblings to love each other more. I need some sibling love, for Vanya too. Also I'd like Luther to apologize to Vanya and Vanya to apologize to Allison and maybe Diego can chill out a little on the violence front. Klaus is being his best self, Allison is, I mean shes surviving and Five...he's doing as well as we can hope for someone in his situation, ya feel? Hes making it.

The apocalypse certainly put a damper on family bonding time. I, too, want to see the sibling relationships strengthened!

Luther and Diego? So much potential there! Luther needs to stop using hugs as a way to render people unconscious and Diego needs to try throwing his feelings around more often than he throws his knives!

Vanya and Allison? I hope they have an opportunity to grow closer simply because they love each other instead of because the evil plans of some controlling, manipulative man (*cough* Reginald and Leonard) necessitate it.

Diego and Klaus? Both doing amazing and already making great strides in their relationship. It would be fantastic to see even more empathetic support going forward as they learn to cope with similar losses.

Ben and Diego? I think these two could sit down and have a nice long talk. Possible discussion topics: being on the giving/receiving end of physical violence, managing the desire for revenge, getting Klaus some driving lessons.

Luther and Vanya? Give them a shared hobby so they can actually spend time together! They were raised as polar opposites (Number One vs. “just ordinary”) and would benefit from nurturing a little compassion for one another.

Allison and Ben? No one can relate more to Allison right now than Ben. She’s re-learning how to communicate and Ben knows exactly what that’s like! Klaus needs to make Ben corporeal again so he can hug his sister.

Klaus and Luther? They can start with “sorry I tried to choke you into unconsciousness.” Luther needs a guide to the larger world. Klaus needs normal experiences that aren’t about his addiction. A perfect match!

Five and EVERYONE? After his post-apocalyptic decades with only a mannequin and the decaying corpses of his loved ones for company, I don’t even know what Five needs. Just to get used to not being alone.

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Allison: you think I can’t fight because I’m a girl?

Diego: I think you can’t fight because you’re wearing a wedding dress. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Klaus could fight in that dress either.

Klaus: maybe not but I would make a gorgeous bride

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the umbrella academy as shit my friends have said


“I would like to give thanks to my right hand, it helped me through hard times and it always came through.”

“We don’t even know if he canonically has a dick.”

“You can’t run from your mistakes forever, I’m faster than you dad.”


“People like it when I use my mouth.”

“If you’re going to assert dominance can you do it outside.”

“What’s the word for eye fucking but like competitively?”


“I manipulate others into doing what I want by giving them a false sense of authority and superiority.”

“Pay child support you ginger thot.”

“You put the u in beautiful.”


“It’s now canonical that the dragon from Shrek eats ass.”

“Thots make the world go round.”

“Live by the aesthetic die by the aesthetic.”


“Your sins are many and your time is short.”

“He aged like a bottle of milk ngl.”

“God is punishing me for being an asshole.”


“Sometimes you’ve just got to Macarena through the anxiety.”

“I’m living my life through a cartoon duck.”

“Life is meaningless and goldfish have mouths.”


“Some actual human interaction does wonders for character development.”

“Glad to hear that the child abuse is mutual.”

“My stomach has performance anxiety.”

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klaus: i’m ga-

klaus: i’m gargantuan

klaus: i’m gastroenterologist

klaus: i’m gastronomic

diego: it’s okay, take your time

klaus: dave

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