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stergeon · 2 months

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for the writer ask

💭🚦💛 💌

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

this is a real marketing major-ass answer (from your local marketing major), but i love sharing knowledge and telling stories. writing’s one of those things that’s a bit of a compulsion for me—i’m always writing something. i took a five-year break from fiction writing before i stumbled ass-first into fanfic last year, but even in those years when i was focusing on my career, i was writing guides and trainings and a ton of other stuff—just not anything fun, lol.

writing is also so cathartic. sometimes i set out to tell a specific story, but at other times, a particular emotion gets me in a vice grip and i have to put it to words before it’ll go away. my stories tend to wind up as emotional dumping grounds as a result.

i don’t write things pulled directly from my own life, but there are bits and pieces of myself and things that have happened to me scattered throughout stuff i’ve written, and usually when i’m about 75% of the way through a piece, i’ll realize it’s absolutely related to something i’m currently going through. funny how art works that way, even when you don’t intend for it to.

and occasionally i just have a fire lit under my ass about an issue and i get so hot about it that i gotta compile my thoughts. looking at you, silver snow

🚦 What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

look, i would love nothing more for them girls (pick whichever girls you please) to have a happy ending where they kiss and are stupid in love for the rest of forever. i love reading those kinds of stories. but in my heart of hearts, i love an ambiguous ending. i like when there are still questions after the story ends. i like thinking about where things could go or how the characters will go on after the events of the story. like, shared space could be read as having a happy ending, but i don’t really think it is. and with the victors; the vestiges, well. you’ll see :0)

come to think of it, i’m not sure i’ve ever written a happily-ever-after, but i don’t think i’ve ever written a 100% bad ending, either. i read too many bury-your-gays stories and watched too many sad european queer coming-of-age films in my youth to ever be happy putting that kinda thing out into the world. i want to write about love with all its ugliness, but not despair or hopelessness. i think what most appeals to me about an ambiguous ending is that lingering feeling of hope. it’s not the same as the kind you get from a happily-ever-after, and something about it speaks to me.

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

honestly? how to take criticism. i took a creative writing class in high school where we had to read our work out loud and then receive feedback on it from the other writers in the class, and that did a lot for me. going into that class, i’d already been writing for forever and had won some little local writing contests and such, so i was a wee bit of a pretentious douche. but i’d never gotten real critique before beyond, essentially, spelling and grammar checks. it humbled me lol. it made me grow so much as a writer, and i could see where i needed to improve or where my head was wedged way too far up my own ass for others to follow. it also helped me recognize strengths i didn’t know i had, and that was huge. it’s easy to get into a self-doubt spiral when making creative work, and good, constructive criticism can do so much to help avoid that.

to this day i love critique. i like knowing what worked or didn’t work so that i can continue to improve as a writer and do better next time. did my themes land? did something really work, but another part fall flat? i’d love to know!! i try to treat everything i write as practice for the next thing, and frankly that’s helped take some of the pressure off so i don’t go into total Perfectionist Mode.

i know critique is kind of a sensitive topic in fan spaces, but i think that’s because a lot of people have gotten unsolicited criticism that is purely critical and isn’t constructive. but getting good, constructive criticism will do so much to help a person grow as a writer. it’s scary, and sometimes it hurts! writing is very personal for most people, and it stings when things aren’t received the way you think they will be. but i know i’ve grown more from having my failures pointed out (and, very importantly, having the good things about those efforts acknowledged) than anything else.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

actually Just answered this in another ask!

#sterge.eml #foxyjeongin #thank you for playing my little game and letting me talk about stories (and about me lmao)#sorry this is kind of a long post #i talk too much #i think i sound pretentious in this ask whoops. sorry #unfortunately i kind of am. i’m working on it.#… i guess the short answer to that first question is ‘emotions and mental illness’ lol #if you follow me on twitter (not recommended as it’s just me complaining about the weather and not being able to ride my motorcycle)#you know that every time i bring up my writing in therapy my therapist rocks my shit by revealing the story is #in fact.#NOT about what i thought it was about #or more accurately it’s ALSO secretly about whatever’s going on with me in real life lmao #y’know what’s really fun? looking back at something you wrote in a manic or depressive episode and going ah. hm. interesting.#the signs were. in fact. there.#(this is in fact not fun and i don’t like it. but it always happens.)#everything i write is accidentally Also about being bipolar. no getting around that #i tend to have issues organizing my thoughts and feelings to even figure out how tf i’m feeling #(forget making any attempt at doing so verbally. i have chronic foot-in-mouth disorder and accidentally say shit i don’t mean all the time)#but writing stuff down has always helped me sort through whatever mess is going on in my noggin and i love it for that #learning how to take critique is my no. 1 piece of writing advice but no. 2 is to read #read the classics. find out why they’re classics. read weird shit. read shit you don’t like. find things you like about em anyway.#and importantly: figure out WHY you do or don’t like it #it’s funny to re-read a book i haven’t read in a long time and discover OH. that’s where i get that technique from.#or that’s where i got that idea. or that’s why i had X thing happen in this story.#or why i like this type of character or scenario #nothing’s truly new and original #we’re all an amalgamation of influences and that ruuuuules #celebrate it!!!

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bbygirl-obi · 9 months

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Hello, I just wanted to say I appreciate your detailed and thoughtful response to my reply. I do think I accidentally fell into an ongoing discourse I'm not really familiar with so I'm taking responsibility for that miscommunication/misunderstanding on my part. I in no way ever meant to imply, nor do I believe, that the genocide on the Jedi is anything other than a tragedy. Even if people have faults that never justifies violence. I'm very sorry that was not clear. I don't identify as an anti and I am chill with the Jedi. Lots of things you wrote about are reasons I like the Jedi and SW in general.

Since it seems I've caused harm I don't really see value in me trying to "defend" where I was coming from but I might be wrong, I'm not sure. The interpersonal relationship section of DBT has always been the hardest for me to grasp and I think that's really showing right now. So, sincere apologies again for my miscommunication.

(This ask is in reference to this post)

Hi, thank you so much for reaching out! I was a bit heated when writing that response, so kudos to you for not getting defensive and for hearing me out. I do really appreciate it. I'd love to help you understand a bit more why this hit me so hard, especially since this was unintentional on your part. There are three things that I think are important to understand here. I'll talk about them below.

1. There's kind of always been a worrying amount of racism, sexism, and anti-Semitism that's baked into big parts of the Star Wars fandom. It's unfortunate, but it's there. Many of the women and/or PoC characters/actors have experienced awful slews of online hate throughout the course of the franchise, specifically for being women and/or PoC. Ahsoka, Reva, Rey, Finn, Rose... the list goes on and on. There are also communities of fascists or incels who use the Empire as inspiration porn. These groups do not make up the entirety of this fandom, but they are a very loud part of it. AND their influence extends beyond their circles into the rest of the fandom, in the form of things that other people with privilege do not always register as bigotry.

2. Star Wars is unfortunately one of those fandoms where a lot of the discourse tends to step on the toes of real-life cultures. As I mentioned, the Jedi are based heavily off of Buddhist culture (George Lucas has been very explicit about this), and the targeted genocide is very similar to the real world's Holocaust. The rise of the Empire is pretty directly based off of the rise of Nazi Germany, to the point of the Empire's aesthetic being based off of the Nazis and Palpatine's rise to power directly paralleling Hitler's. Because the real-life connections are both significant and explicit, Star Wars intersects with the real world a lot more than other fictional or sci fi franchises do. There's a greater burden on members of fandom to investigate things before speaking on them as a result.

3. There are a lot of fandom misconceptions about the Jedi, including that they stole children, that they erased cultures, and that they were emotional, unfeeling people with no relationships. There are also a lot of sentiments that the Jedi were at fault for, or deserved, what happened to them (either because it was "balance" or because they created the man who genocided them). Some people arrive at these conclusions because of the racism mentioned in #1 intersecting with the non-white cultural influences mentioned in #2. Some people arrive at these conclusions because they see it elsewhere in fandom (from group #1), and don't recognize the dogwhistles because they aren't familiar with the cultures being trodden upon.

So when someone says the kinds of things you said in your post:

Jedi children are "stolen from their homes and raised devoid of their culture and families"

All Jedi initiation "traumatizes their subjects"

"Attachments are human relationships and…are integral to mental health"

All Jedi "have absolutely nowhere to turn to for comfort"

"The Jedi order is more akin to a cult"

The Jedi "sterilize" and "manipulate" DBT and force their practices upon their members as "the one true way to live"

The Jedi are "about eradicating big emotions"

Their "goal [is] indoctrinating the children they stole"

"Anakin is the direct product of their failure"

Sure, the first thing that jumps out is the misinformation. But since almost everything you're critiquing about the Jedi is something that also exists in Buddhism, you are simultaneously deriding Buddhism as something that is detrimental to mental health, that provides no support network to anyone, that is sterile and emotionless, and that is a form of indoctrination.

The paternalistic idea that Buddhists were victims of backwards, harmful cults, and needed to be "saved" from their own culture by white people, is both old and insidious. These are things that have been said about Buddhism with the intention of painting it as stupid and even harmful, so that white people could justify oppressing both Buddhism as a religion and the PoC cultures who originated and practiced it. This is still used today as a justifier for modern-day forms of racism, but it's also been used for centuries as a justification for the colonization of entire countries.

I've discussed the genocide aspect in my other post, but I'll just reiterate that the sentiment "the Jedi are not to blame for their genocide" cannot coexist with the sentiment "Anakin, the perpetrator of said genocide, is the direct product of the Jedi." The idea from your tags that the Jedi "killed" Anakin is also a tricky one, since the idea that Anakin's death was Vader's creation is a popular fandom trope turned canon with the "you didn't kill Anakin Skywalker, I did" line in the Obi-Wan Kenobi series, and to say the Jedi killed Anakin is therefore to say the Jedi created Vader, their genocider.

I guess part of me also wonders why, even if it is true (I think it isn't, but people can and do disagree), it's relevant to bring up under the type of post I made. Take the example of a school shooting. People have died, children have died, a member of their community has betrayed them, and the community is hurt and grieving. Let's say someone makes a post celebrating the community, celebrating how kind and supportive they are to one another. And let's say someone decides to comment below that post saying that the other kids in the school were mean to the shooter. Even if it were true, I hope this example helps illustrate how (1) it comes across as excusing the shooter's actions, and how (2) that sentiment is just so incredibly tone-deaf and victim-blamey. That's kind of how it feels to have someone comment these misinformed things (of racist origin, even if they are not of conscious racist intent) below a post that I made celebrating the practices of a culture that was genocided. It's neither the time nor the place.

And remember what I said in point #3, about how people arrive at these conclusions one of two ways? When I read stuff like this, it's really hard to tell which of the two groups a person falls into. It's hard to tell if the coded racism is simply going unnoticed, or if it's there intentionally. But it's there, regardless. And in my experience, the hidden or unintentional racism can be the most dangerous, because people will often get defensive and gaslight the hell out of you when you try to call it out. Thanks for not doing that, but you're unfortunately the minority.

So when people say these things, I usually have to assume that they are not a safe person. Because like I said: Whether or not the racism was deliberate, it was still there. You might have not originated these ideas, but you were willing to accept them without investigating further, to adopt them as your own, and to spread them further online. I think there's something to unpack there for you. Some great next steps would include doing research into the following topics:

The nuclear family and how it ties to white supremacy and homophobia (this gives context for the institutional aversion to the Jedi's form of community; you can find an article by a Black man about this here)

The American Jewish Committee's resources on identifying subtle or hidden forms of anti-Semitism (this gives context to how seemingly innocuous statements can have very problematic histories; you can find it here)

The phenomenon of "Holocaust Distortion" (a real-life example of how harmful it is to distort facts to place greater blame on the victims of genocide; you can find an article from the Holocaust Remembrance Alliance about it here)

The history of Buddhist groups suffering religious persecution (this gives context for ways in which the religion has been deliberately misrepresented for the purpose of harming Buddhists; Wikipedia is a great place to start, here's an introductory link)

The colonization and oppression of countries with large Buddhist populations (this gives context for the global racism I mentioned; look into the countries of Japan, Cambodia, China, India, Vietnam, etc.)

Though there can also be room for excitement, not just depressing homework, because it seems there's a lot of great stuff about the Jedi (and Buddhism) that you didn't know about, and now you get to learn all about it!

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