#theres absolutely no need for anyone to address this and its better if it isnt addressed but im in a bit of a bad space mentally right now

[mathieubellamont]

man in relation to that last post, and its not really related to this blog outside of it but its weighing on my mind

ive seen two things lately about audiences and content creators, specifically those of the Edgy kind. And, as a disclaimer, i am both LGBT and mixed race and oh, also disabled, and i am not saying “yes their content is offensive But you should care about them more” like ofc im gonna care more about the people who are hurt by the spreading of harmful shit but. anyway

whats been on my mind is the fact that these creators create, with all their edginess and their discarding of feelings for Facts and whatnot forms these audiences that, even if mild in their reactions, have and hold no place for feelings, and people who they disagree with. Even the ones who just have “Comedic” content thats laughing at minorities and whatnot, it breeds things in the audience - and attracts peole who’re already infected by it - that focus on laughing and making fun of people and tearing people down who they just mildly disagree with. We all knew that, but specifically whats weighing on my mind is that........... When you do that, theres no backing down. If you realise youve been wrong somewhere and the people youre attacking have been right, if you realise you dont want to make this content anymore, if you realise you’re tired or stressed, or the environment youve created has gotten too toxic, how are you going to back down? People look to you for their vicious entertainment, people look to you for things to tear apart however lightly, to Roast or to offend or to seriously hurt, and if you arent providing fresh bodies to that audience, theyll take it from you. You have to either be sure when you go into creating edgy content that youll be doing this for the rest of your life, or youre ok with being the subject of what youre inflicting on others when you stop. That, or you have to hope to god that your audience gets bored of you before you call it quits

like...... It all boils down to this. Edginess attracts two main kinds of people, people who are clueless about the harm theyre doing and looking to parrot others/who want to make people uncomfortable or upset/who want to make people feel like they feel, thats one category, and the other main category is genuinely fucked up people who like to see the hurt and the offence it causes, who want women/other minorities to be uncomfortable at best or unwelcome or feel in danger at worst, people who show through their humour that theyre willing to act in ways that hurt people for fun. The first category, people who dont get the harm it causes and just want to shock people (which, as a person clueless to microaggressions and racism and why things actually offend people could either be just surprise Or serious harm they label as shock), theyre clueless about the power youre breeding in them and the cluelessness, but the second group of people are actively harmful. Either way, when you finally need your audience to be understanding, when you need to post your “my mental health is going downhill and i cant ignore it anymore” video or post, youre stuck with these people, and obviously others outside those categories, but youre stuck with them. The people who are willing to beat down already beaten down minorities? Who reduce everyone to a set of stereotypes and if they disagree with any quality you have youre their target? Who think doxxing and swatting are funny, who think harrassment and death threats are just edgy and, well, you know edgy is totally fine right?? Edgy is good right?? what are you going to do?

Maybe when youre in your hour of need your audience will have a change of heart, but if you attract an audience who follow you for and approve of your disregard for peoples needs, who make fun of and attact people saying they need help (”i suffer at the hands of oppression” “im disabled” “im a targeted minority” “ive suffered from harassment” etc) what do you think theyre going to do to you when you dont want to play the game anymore? 

Like theres a leap in logic here between being an edgy content creator and definitely reaching a point where you wont do it anymore. Yes, maybe youll be edgy for the rest of your life....... But as someone who was an edgy teenager slinging around slurs constantly and racist and homophobic and transphobic shit...... The end to that was the singular logical conclusion for me as someone trying to be a good person. When you actually learn about these things, or when you start to live it as an lgbt person or you reconnect with your nonwhite half, or you have a family member who is assaulted, or a friend who finally confesses their online harassment and the severe damage its done to them, and you have an audience waiting for you to tell them who to laugh at/treat like shit if they want to because well, theyre wrong and stupid arent they, why should anyone treat them well - thats the conclusion a lot of these people take from seeing people be made the butt of jokes.......... What are you going to do?

Ive always tried to make this blog a mentally and emotionally safe place. Ive made mistakes, but ive always tried to own up to them and learn from. Like, yeah, theres been some racist shit on this blog before, probably some transphobic shit too, ive had this blog since i just turned 17 in dec. 2013....... Its important for my followers that i cultivate a place that is good for them, that isnt stressful, that focuses on good content or. me having fun in video games lmao. and why is that good? well, because i want to. Its not necessarily the right thing to do nor the wrong thing to do, it just Is morally. But when it comes to cultivating an audience based on constantly shocking people, and making people uncomfortable, and making innocent people scared to exist or ashamed of their existence or hurt because theyre reminded that what they are is disgusting to people like you, whether you mean it or not? Thats where I feel things like this become a moral choice. Like, first of all, even if youre doing it jokingly, if youre having fun pretending to throw punches and kicks even if the point is to laugh at you, you run the risk of people getting hit. Thats why we dont do that in public spaces. When youre jokingly throwing metaphorical punches even if the joke is that youre being an arse purposely, youre in that corridor, and the traffic in that corridor is every single person that sees your post, possibly hundreds, possibly thousands, and so the chance that youre going to hit people - many people - is huge. But to get back to whats on my mind, even if you dont give a shit about all the people you hit accidentally or on purpose, when you train an audience to expect you to feed them meat, when you stop feeding them meat theyll still be looking at you, and if theyre hungry enough - entitled enough, angry enough, uncaring enough, tired of life and other people enough, unknowing enough, ready enough to bring the fight to other people - theyre going to pick at you if not take chunks off you if not tear you to shreds. When you call people who think shock humour and hurting other people is acceptable, well, thats what youve done right?

You dont need to make a blog like mine thats purpose is to be safe. You dont need to actively try to make sure people feel like they fit in with your content, you dont need to create a space for other people to enjoy at all, maybe you just wanna do what makes you laugh. But the less space we hold for people to hurt people the less people are going to get hurt, shocker i know, but also the less harmful people’s anger we are unknowingly feeding, and the less fucking clueless kids who are going to grow up parroting things theyve heard and never understood, that truly evil people understand, and the less content creators in the future we’re going to have to dig out of the hole they back themselves into

anyway. odd post, its done now

#i cant proofread this ugh im at my limit. kinda defeats the point of making this post if its not understandable but anyway #sorry this. i put it here because its directly related to the below post and its about content creators #this might make very little sense and theres probably a lot of logic leaps i didnt explain and maybe im super wrong and whatever but #theres absolutely no need for anyone to address this and its better if it isnt addressed but im in a bit of a bad space mentally right now #(dont worry im going to bed after i do the dishes) #unknowingly hurting people and hurting people in general and people unknowingly backing themselves into corners is just. #on my mind except on my Heart ad emotions right now i just need to talk about it #i just keep thinking if i can save one fucking kid from getting into trouble #hell even the content creators i thoroughly disagree with. the ones echoing harmful ideas and Haha Offensive oppressive content #the idea that some of them are still doing it because they cant escape...... the idea of anyone realising their mistakes and being stuck #and not being able to get out of it #theres so much anger in the world and i Know everyones tired and theyre aching emotionally #everyone including the people i really dont like are all doing what theyre doing because. anyway #its just. the more we can talk about this - and i understand as Many Minority Statuses Overlapping that we dont owe any assholes conversatio #n - the more people who can talk about this talk about this and bridge the gap and drag people who dont know better out of their edgy #phases to become better more conscious people.............. #oof. its almost 5am #traitor's ramblings #assault #mention.

[dyketubbo]

i know its been a while since the saving michael streams but man. its not even that i dont think cfireworksduo becoming friends or at least allies is an objectively bad plot point but i really do wish it would have been.. done better? or at least more smoothly? its great and all that ctechno sees ctubbo as Based or whatever (god am i starting to get tired of hearing white ppl say that again) but i feel like despite tubbo demanding an apology and techno complying there were like. several factors that made the subsequent complete and absolute forgival from both sides rather.. lackluster

1. tubbos lack of care about what techno did to lmanburg. sure, we can consider technos slights towards tubbo during the red festival as now properly addressed even if it sucks that tubbo had to demand it and push techno into giving any sort of acknowledgement (which paints technos regret as more of him assauging his own conscious rather than actually caring for tubbos wellbeing), but doomsday was not apologized for or recognized as a flaw of technos and outside of tubbo complaining that techno blew his country up twice (mostly jokingly which ive said my gripes about the improper comedic timing before), theres no.. real conversation about it. techno expresses no guilt, and despite one year later tubbo just doesnt seem to care which while that can be written off as in character (tubbo repressing his emotions because its clear techno still doesnt care and therefore tubbo trying to just focus on what he Can fix, as well as tubbo still devaluing his emotions around techno) it still makes me feel hesitant about celebrating any future fireworksduo interactions because its unclear if this is a case of cctubbo keeping his character consistently repressed or cctubbo being inconsistent with how much his character cares about lmanburg and how the red festival vs doomsday are weighed in his mind.

techno destroyed what tubbo considered his purpose, and its unsure if this will be shown as an actual strain on their relationship or if it will forever be joked about and doomsday will just not be something considered as a flawed action of technos (which, considering how cctechno seems to feel the need to write his character as In The Right and how this tends to make other characters agree when around him yet show their true opinions when not around him [again, as ive discussed with niki during jailbreak, something that reflects badly on techno], is.. Worrying.) i dont know how willing tubbo is to challenge techno on anything other than the red festival anymore and fireworksduo content may not be consistent enough to play off any pushback very smoothly. with how integral lmanburg and technos actions against it have been to tubbos character, this is, again, Worrying

2. tubbos lack of care for anyone else techno has hurt. this is possibly just because of tubbos tunnel vision (hes one of technos Main victims, and the mission was to save his son, and as such hes more likely to focus on what techno did that hurt specifically him and then everything else is just to provide michael a safe place) but it still feels awkward for tubbo to not really show much care for the fact that techno Has hurt more than just him, especially with how community focused he is. this is something that may be addressed when tubbo isnt just focusing on michael, and im more hopeful for at least those characters standing up for themselves if tubbo wont, but its still a tick off in my enjoyment, just a bit. i still want a proper acknowledgement of jailbreak from tubbo dammit, he literally was going to make a secret base for himself before this mission happened and had a whole monologue about things in snowchester being taken from him (something that was especially prominent around jailbreak), and techno still has a part in both of those factors because He released dream. speaking of..

3. tubbo moving into the arctic commune when he started off with a discussion about things being taken from him and still hasnt had any proper resolution to missing lmanburg, and its unsure if phil or techno will ever be willing to budge on their opinions about lmanburg. and frankly, if tubbo ends up agreeing that lmanburg deserved to be destroyed, that fucks up a lot about his character. him moving into the commune does fit with his desperation for community and safety, but it also continues the fact that all of tubbos previous homes and projects are either destroyed or just simply Abandoned, and to be quite honest i just dont trust techno or phil to properly handle that (which gives me some lessening faith in tubbos want to handle any of that, because his rp style depends so much on who else is around, and as we saw by saving michael, hes not the most willing to challenge techno [and we already know hes not going to challenge phil much outside of deliberately stating hes neutral on him, which honestly puts more points for tubbo and phil interactions than fireworksduo interactions because phil actually.. feels like a character that others can safely have complicated feelings on without there being any arcs where theyre forced to like and forgive him]).

at most, if tommy or wilbur starts any growth in phil, maybe he and tubbo could come to a more smooth resolution, as we actually have reason to trust phil can accept that tubbo will always have fundamentally different viewpoints on things. phils interactions with beeduo and therefore tubbo and ranboo separately feel more natural in how theyre all vaguely wary but can still fuck around and agree to disagree. if techno and tubbo were on neutral terms like tubbo and phil are that would make.. a lot of sense and feel in character for both of them rather than them going on one mission and declaring that theyre besties whose wrongs against each other were just Simple Misunderstandings (rather than.. techno traumatizing tubbo and then reacting to tubbo lashing out once by traumatizing him further)

4. tubbo being friends with techno out of all the people who have hurt him and those around him is something that happened too quickly. not only are there still things about these twos past that still needs to be addressed that may now not Be addressed because there was just that Instant Forgiveness, but also. tubbo still has.. so many relationships that probably should have been rekindled first and would have been more natural to rekindle first. he already mentioned jack manifold, of who we need a proper resolution with due to the nukes arc. he still hates wilbur (who has done significantly less to tubbo), hes still slightly wary of eret (who has done even less than wilbur), hes even neutral with phil and theres still things he needs to work out with quackity. his relationship with sam has a lot of depth that may or may not be out the window due to tubbo seemingly seeing him as a supervillain now (but tubbo and sam i have a bit more faith in as a duo. just a bit). he tommy and ranboo all have things they all need to sort out with each other. hell, even his relationship to sapnap should be addressed considering sapnap actually killed him in the final control room, and considering sapnap has a connection to lmanburg and was noted by eret to have tried to kill michael. thats not even touching the waters of his relationships with niki or fundy. fuck, even punz has a significant relationship to tubbo that has things to address about it. and of course considering jailbreak, tubbo and dreams relationship should be talked about at least at some point, especially if tubbos going to be around the syndicate more now

so.. having techno be the one relationship seemingly fully resolved out of.. All of tubbos Other shaky relationships is very.. rushed? and again feels like a flaw of cctechnos writing because it doesnt feel like theres proper room for tubbo To dislike techno even though objectively techno is the second worst person in tubbos life. again, could have easily been at least a little resolved by tubbo just.. doing something to acknowledge that yeah he and techno would probably naturally be on neutral terms rather than being besties. their friendship was Rushed and only one thing was given proper address (i dont feel like even touching my slight gripes about the lack of anything but Cool Quips being dropped about the beeduo marriage) and its all very.. hm. i really do hope that any future streams give.. something, at least. some sort of conflict or acknowledgement of the flaws withing this "solution"

even with all the things i addressed theres still More (one- will michael ever like.. go, home? to his room with his chickens and books? two- will tubbo ever even go back to snowchester again, especially considering.. yknow. the fact that he was planning on moving into the mansion [now that ive ironed out so much, man did moving into the commune really just sort of make quite a few of tubbos building plans and mini arcs just.. Moot and abadoned before they even truly started], three- will there be a proper discussion about the beeduo marriage or is it just not going to be addressed, four- uh.. not to care about tommy during a tubbo arc but. tommy is tubbos best friend and theres a lot about this arc that has ties to him. is there going to be another clingyduo conflict or any sort of acknowledgement from tommy or tubbo that this situation doesnt actually solve them both being in danger? who knows) and theres just.. so many untied plotlines and unfilled plot holes and its so. Weird

heres to hoping the ccs actually capitalize on the fact that even the characters feel weird about this whole situation, because theres a lot about this stream that gives uneasy implications about where the story will go

#i both have faith in the ccs and also Do Not #discourse #critical #c!tubbo critical #c!technoblade critical #also slight cc crit but not serious #mask mews #amaryllis analyzes #(<- i Guess) #i dunno! its very very weird #long post #dsmp

[starlightfaltershere]

Geraskier - android Jaskier

@sirencipher and I came up with something wonderful today and thought we gotta share. (they're wonderful ya’ll please give them all your love)

- a post-apocalypse AU, in which jasiker dies. Geralt, heartbroken, and unable to tell their family and friends that Jaskier had passed; builds a droid Jaskier out of desperation (and desolation.)  ‘no one can take the anguish of losing anyone else’ he thinks. ‘but, they can assume this is the real Jaskier.’ Geralt, employing magic, pulls Jaskiers memories from his physical form, and stores them into the droid Jaskier. and for all the droid Jaskier knows, they’re real, alive. 

- it’s a profoundly morbid creation, a hollow thing, ‘but it keeps Jaskiers memory alive’. and for now, that’s enough for Geralt. 

- Geralt covers up that the droid is not real, just until everyone is ready to lose Jaskier he reflects, just a ‘little while’. 

- and droid Jaskier cannot die on Geralt, which offers some consolation. 

- but looking at them makes him feel as if he has betrayed original Jaskier, but somehow he can’t let it go.

- in some moments, it’s easy to forget they aren’t the real Jaskier. he always fails in the times the droid is with other people, they look so real. but droid Jaskier isn’t the same when they are alone; it’s like having Jaskier there, but any time Geralt moves to touch, he dissolves into dandelion fuzz. Geralt could program how Jaskier felt about anybody else. but, Jaskier had never confided how he truly felt about Geralt. “Jaskier had tried as he laid dying, but the bullet had gone straight into his throat. the sole thing that graced his lips was blood and ocean waves.” the part of Jaskier he needs desperately is missing. was rinsed away in the sea’s salt.

-  Geralt had used as many of the memories he could pluck from Jaskier. but himself and the droid could not work out how the memories had threaded together to make up Jaskier. Jasker had always confounded the Witcher, now Geralt desperately wished he had made more of an effort to understand the man.  he’ll never wholly know now, with Jaskier - his Jaskier, his lark - changing into the larkspur flowers he adored so much in a small unmarked grave Geralt had dug him. 

- but Geralt fears that if he dies before he can admit to everybody about Jaskiers death, Jaskier grave will be lost to everyone. he’ll be forgotten. but he cannot risk putting a name to the unmarked grave, he can’t risk everyone finding out.

- ‘but when is their ever a right time to reveal to everyone of the crime he committed out of his own desperation?’

- he doesn’t know, so he vows to himself he will confess to them when he’s moved on. but it’s inconceivable, because everyday he wakes to almost Jaskiers face; it’s almost like the oil paintings in the museum’s Jaskier used to drag him too before the war. all the portraits of beautiful individuals, those individuals who were created perfect by other people. Jaskier was born perfect, and Geralt replication of him has far too many imperfections. it was all wrong.

- the droid stays for a long time. too long. 

- Geralt realises this was a terrible, terrible mistake. a lapse in his judgement - Jaskier caused a lot of those for him -but Geralt knew better. 

- one day he will shut the android down; Jaskier will die a second time. kill the ghost of his love, and that will weigh on his conscience until he’s back again with Jaskier. maybe even after that. 

- he questions why he really did this, did he honestly do this to save Ciri from losing another parent? no. it was a pitiful excuse for being selfish, this is the time Geralt had chosen to be selfish? he just could’nt handle remaining in a world where all his love could do is die. love is now a spear of larkspur, will someone rob him of that too? 

Geralt is pissed at himself for the situation he got himself into. how will he explain the droids death? its disappearance without hurting everyone? without hurting Ciri?

-he’s on a bed of knives, and any move will hurt himself and everyone else. he’s fucked himself. and he knows real Jaskier would be equally pissed as we as find the whole predicament hilarious.

- he can hear Jaskiers response just thinking of it.  “come on Geralt, what we’re thinking? that’s right, you weren’t thinking at all.”

- and perhaps the worse of all, he’s hurt the last remnants of the bard. he’s done a great evil against the android. lying to him about who he is and telling him will burst their mechanical heart. if they have one

- Geralt has gotten himself into a house of mirrors, not matter where he swings it’s going to hurt. he will not escape with no guilt. but it must end, maybe even soon. 'but not today’ he thinks.

- at some point, he finds himself sitting in Jaskiers room, surrounded by the parts of the real Jaskier that were left behind. Geralt had taken up caring for Jaskiers things. the droid couldn’t manage such a task. and they need to keep up appearances. 

- you see, real Jaskier is a fiddler, a tinker. he always had something in his hands. it’s one thing Geralt missed most. he always found broken lute strings tied in shapes and pulled apart pens and things around the house. he was constantly doing something. but all the android can do is hold them. blink at them slowly. they have no recollection of what to do with them.

- so Geralt decides that the droid will never see or touch another thing made by Jaskier hands. 

- the droid can’t even create any new songs, none that sound right. the soul just isn’t there. Geralt wonders why no one has noticed how pale the world is now. there are so many things amiss with android Jaskier. his eyes are the wrong shade of blue. his hair is wrong. passable. but wrong, and no matter how hard Geralt tried he couldn’t replicate Jaskiers smile. and worse, Jaskier sing-song voice. it seemed as if Geralt had hacked the soul from Jaskier. 

- a big part of him is furious that no one has realised the ruse, but they think Jaskier is just under the weather, maybe even heartbroken for the loss of the old world.

-but how could they imagine Geralt doing such a thing like building a fake Jaskier? great isn’t a liar. never. he was renowned for being ruthlessly honest. no one would think him capable of such a thing. but they forget he’s good at pretending. he did it around Jaskier for a long time. everyone. 

- Geralt eventually has a break down over android Jaskier not being enough, about what a piss poor copy he made of the man. Geralt questions if he even really knew the bard.

- he didn’t. and it will torment him until he dies. so he looks through Jaskiers notebooks, in hopes to touch some unexplored part of him. he finds songs, notes of Jaskiers thoughts

- he finally cries. 

- he cries when he sees Jaskiers drawings. he didn’t know the bard could draw. Geralt finds lots of doodles and pictures of him mingled amongst love songs and stories of Geralts heroism. 

- there are unsent love letters, years worths of them. unsent letters addressed to Geralt are tucked amongst the pages. some are sealed, ready to send. others not even finished. Geralt wants to read them, truly. but is it right for him to read them? Jaskier isn’t here to say no and none of this really matters. it doesn’t matter, he’s already surpassed considering morality. so he reads them. 

- It’s all too painful, and the realisation has been a creeping thing, and it hits him like a freight train. And here he is, sitting in the ashes of a man’s life, responsible for a fraudulent version of him.

 And Geralt decides then and there to get rid of the android. But it won’t be easy now, is it? it’s been weeks, months? And there’s so much he must explain. Even to the android. He may not be Jaskier. But he still wears his face.

- but he has to. so like every other night, he helps the droid to bed. but this one will be different. Geralt can’t help but take the droids to face in his hands - cradle Jaskiers face in his hands for the first and last time. and tell them the truth.

- the droid cannot cry, but if they could he know it would be. Geralt tells them he’s so fucking sorry. love - love makes you do stupid things. horrible things. but it won’t hurt, he swears, it’s just like going to sleep, you’ve gone to sleep so many times

-  Geralt slowly raises the droids shirt. pries its chest open - where Jaskiers heart should be. ha, Geralt thinks, this is not the first time he’s ripped Jaskiers heart open, he’s read the bards poems, songs, about how the Witchers hands had dug into jaskiers soul and tore it into two. but this isn’t Jaskier. with tears, Geralt pulls out wires and wheels that made up the droids heart. 

- the droid leaves him with the image of Jaskiers face permanently frozen half afraid, half sad look. not too much different from how the real Jaskier looked. just lacked the sea water and blood.

- Geralt catches the droid as it fell. something he wished he could have done for Jaskier. he sets them on the bed. makes it look as if Jaskier had passed peacefully. for his own sake and for their families sake. it’s what he deserved. 

I no one really asked what happened. a great many of the things could have happened. Jaskier finally gets a funeral. one he deserves. but Geralt asks to bury him alone. he dismantles the droid. and marks Jaskiers grave; it lays facing the ocean. 

#jaskier #jaskier geralt #jaskier x geralt #jaskalt #geralt jaskier #witcher geralt #geraskier #geralt #geralt von riva #geralt of rivia #android #hurt without comfort #writer's angst #angst #soft angst #fanfiction #fanfic #prompt #writing #my writing #heart break #au #future #apocalypse #yennifer #yennefer of vengerberg #geralt x yennefer #witcher ciri #ciri #cirilla

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

[trixiesouphanes]

Okay so this isnt a cool quote just the really fucked up dream I just had

So I was in the pool alone after browsing instagram all day and I was thinking about this one account that just posted a bunch of absolutely beutiful pictures and I was sad cuz I might be only to be that pretty if I had as good as a photographer/camera as them

So I went to the pool and for some reason it was night and there were a lot of other people there trying to figure out the puzzle answer for a door and I couldnt figure it out either

The next day I hopped back in the pool and there was no one there at like a really pretty sunset and at the time I was thinking about the pretty pictures on instagram I just had my arms on the side of the pool and my head down staring at the sunset

I decided to go inside when I catch a glimpse of a dude and for the stupidest reason looked like Vance waggoner but like the bojack horseman version... yeah

But also this other lady about the same age holding like a tablet I think? There were both smiling crazy as hell so I just rushed inside

I didnt think much of it thinking they were just playing a game and then it skipped to the next day, I went back in the pool

I was still alone, just kinda chillin and swimming around, then I wanted to back inside again cuz it was sunset again. But i turned to get out and my top had unhooked itself. Outside of dreams, my pool is in my backyard, surrounded by a million trees, so no one would see me put it back on

I was walking towards the stairs and i didnt realize that 'they' were still out but I was putting them back in so I didnt matter

But as soon as I started walking towards the stairs I see the man and the woman, both staring at me with these horrible smiles. The dude is behind the woman, and the woman is behind the tablet she was holding, a large tablet but somehow I knew that the camera was open. I tried to jump so I could swim away but I was too late...

I heard the sound of a camera starting to record and my jumping did not help me, I tried to say something like "IM TEN" to get them to stop or at least get the video taken down from wherever they post it, but they had stopped the recording by time I did, and they started running as fast, as fast as they could away from me and I just stood in the pool and cried.

I went back inside and who was waiting for me there? The man and the woman. In the dream my parents werent home, late shifts I think

They started trying to lecture me about how pretty I actually looked and I might feel ugly but the problem is the camera all the time

I cant rememeber word for word what they said except for this one quote I cant get out of my mind,

"You think you need a lot of makeup, but you've got it. We took this in the pool and you looked stunning anyway" and then he took the tablet and showed me the picture they took from the first day of being alone in the pool

The lighting, the aura, the angle, and just the general sound of the image was all amazing. For once, *I* was amazing. I didnt want to but they had started to change my mind slightly. I was sitting on the poolside with my head on my arms staring at the sunset with long, beautiful, wavy hair stretching out in all directions behind me.

And then, they showed me the short video

I had jumped at the second I saw the guy take a screenshot of me, my tits were perked up but you couldnt see the look of horror creep onto my face yet

And for the most horrible reason, they were out, up, and I had looked so... grown. From behind me the sunset had not only pretty colours but also did that thing where the sun had those pretty shapes from a line that always happens in movies

I hated it. I hated how much I loved it. It was so pretty, *I* was so pretty and I was exposed. At a shot, I tried to take the tablet from him but he was too fast and ran off, driving away.

I then turned to the woman. She told me her name was sherry, so at least that was good to know, I checked my phone after getting a notification of them posting something and I checked

It was me, the first picture was my long hair out, and the second made me cry.

I saw hundereds, if not, THOUSANDS of comments of people telling eachother my age, my school, my address, and worst of all, my profile

In seconds to minutes, I immediately started getting spammed with dms telling me how pretty I was, and that they wanted to see more, others telling me I was a slut, more telling me if I wanted to do "photography" with them...

I was sobbing. I had how real it all seemed. Then for some reason I wasnt in the same house anymore. I was upstairs looking down at a staircase and I saw the woman

I pushed her, obviously, she was threatining me with a taser if I said anything to anyone. So I pushed her

I took the cord she had the laser powered with and ripped it apart, and then started smashing glass on her wherever I could find it.

She was knocked out by now, and I ran and sat down screaming about why I had done this, and why this was happening

And in that moment of absolute helplessness, that desperation for something to stop going wrong, something to stop it, I rememebered theres a landline in the house

Ya know brain, I couldve gotten a dm from someone saying how they knew this was all something horrible happening, and that they wanted to help me. That would have been something really nice, brain. But no, you had to make me fill up with white hot rage and stomp to the landline phone

(This is where it gets worse)

I saw the woman was up and she was going to tell people that j was insane and was going to check me into a mental institution so no one could fight against her

I was trying to call 911 but I kept not getting the numbers right, because dreams suck like that. While I was doing this, she too, was calling the cops

I finally got the numbers right and waited for them to pick up but I heard nothing. It rang and rang for what felt like at least two whole minutes but... *nothing*

That's what did it. That's what made me feel like my life was over and I was going to throw up. Nit the picture, that would somehow eventually go away. But a mental institution? I would never get out to live

Then I heard sirens, and i wanted to destroy her

So I got up and grabbed everything I could to knock her unconscious again, and whatever didnt it still felt a little good to beat the shit out if her

I went outside and for some reason, dream reasons probably, the cops werent there anymore, it was my mom

It was dark as hell outside, and I had forgotten about how I was still wearing my swimsuit. My mom was trying to be angry, thinking that I had been swimming at dark, then she saw me crying and covered in bruises and broken glass.

I told her that sherry was still inside after showing people porn of me, "bastards"

I watched my mom call the police and when we both went inside, the Vance guy was there looking at what had happened to his partner

My mom tore him to shreds with screaming, and I could see he was about to start running, so I slowly creeped back outside and was going to grab him from the side door

I heard his footsteps going fast so I quickly opened up the door and grabbed him, threw him to the ground, and bit his neck. With my jaw chomped down, I jumped up, with a gory mess surrounding me

The police arrived and while I was thinking about how I was going to say something like "temporary insanity" in court, I woke up

Like I said, that dm could have saved me. If you see this happeneing, just tell them that its *okay* that everything is going to get better, that their life isnt over.

But I'm awake now, no swimsuit, no glass in my arms, not a slice of someone's jugular clamped down with blood filling my cheeks

Just a few tears and the hate for my brain

[wtfzodiacsigns]

My Experience With the Signs (Reprise)

Aquarius: They have a commanding presence to them that to some is intimidating but not to me. You stick to your “one way of doing things” far too much. they act emotionally detached even when everyone knows they’re the most sentimental person in the room. some of them get on my nerves with their one track mind, but for the most part we get along. they’re the type to say eww guiltlessly when you say you like something really lame (if they dont then they’re the lame one). don’t really get irony for some reason either. they dont understand how you can be ironically into something really stupid, like saying you ironically listen to journey or hall and oats sometimes.

Pisces: its a 50/50. Either I love you or I can’t stand you theres no in between. they all have high morals and will really push them on people. this isnt a big problem unless their logic makes absolutely no sense which happens. they can be very intelligent but this can lead some to become overzealous. they’re smart, empathic and very compassionate. they are equal parts capable of being my favorite person or me just wanting to kill them due to some of their know-it-all natures and ridiculous logic. they’re the type where you can chain smoke talking about every topic under the sun with for 7 hours. so long as you don’t offend them which can happen pretty easily. make one innocuous joke or comment and all hell will break loose.

Aries: we would be cool except you make every issue about you. I admire your ability to stay positive, almost to a level where i fear you’re actually just ignorant of the problem completely. they’re good at making light of other peoples situations, but if something happens to them that they don’t like, its as if the whole world has to go on hold for them to figure it out. they can be really exhausting this way and come off as being super self absorbed. these are the type to call you at 4am saying “guess what just happened to me.”

Taurus: honestly not much has changed. you are still lazy and still prefer netflix and your bag of cheetos to hanging out. but regardless, they’re level headed and easy to talk to. they love to use the blame game to explain away their problems so they dont have to put work into adjusting their behavior. they have sound logic and ideas and can be that friend that you make a meaningful glance to across the room when the person you’re talking to is full of shit. nothing phases these people. until something does. then all hell breaks loose and they are insane.

Gemini: (i dont know many so im sorry if this is an unfair bias) out of all the ones I’ve known, they’ve all sucked. they manipulate and lie to get what they want from people. usually control. every picture on their facebook page is of themselves. they think they’re really talented and special when really they’re just a methhead trying to pick up underage girls with their guitar at a party they weren’t invited to.

Cancer: they’re all super sweet honestly. prone to being down on themselves and making their poor self esteem painfully obvious. they can get defensive and close themselves off even though you really just wanna hug them. tend to make poor relationship choices though they usually dont figure that out til later. really just fun to be around and drink half a bottle of tequila with. you can really tell them anything and they won’t judge you. a wholesome bean.

Leo: the person who cuts into a conversation because you haven’t said their name in five minutes. these are a bit of a mixed bag. the ones who dont have any control of their ego are unbearable: naiive, arrogant, selfish, self centered, etc. but the ones who are aware of their own egos are typically nihilists who like really weird anime and rip on themselves to make them laugh. the self aware ones have this “dead inside” air to them but not in a depressing gloomy way just in a confident “life is meaningless so fuck it” way. also I’ve never met a female leo who wasn’t gay so theres that masculine sign bringin the gay.

Virgo: they overanalyze too much and it makes them anxiety ridden but they dont do anything about it. they can be critical, but trust me they criticize themselves the most. they can be pretty blunt, and its a good trait only about half the time. they are secretly very emotional though most will never know that. they are dying inside but are super good at faking it and turning it into a joke. range from being overbearing to overly detached in about half a second. people don’t really perceive them the way they should in both directions good and bad. they stick to their ways but not in an aquarius or taurus way, but more of a “I am at a loss I dont know what else to do” way. typically very understanding and kind but not at first. it takes time to get through that prickly cynical exterior. they’re moody and typically get way too caught up and drown in tragedies. if something bad happens they never forget and they let it follow them to their grave. they’re the kind of person where you can lay on the hood of their car at night listening to beach house talking about how cool space is. (true story)

Libra: another 50/50. they both make me the angriest most miserable person on earth and also happy to the max. they love passionately when they’re actually in love but are prone to cheaty behavior which they never address. They get caught up in what people think of them without realizing it and it makes them act irrationally. they have a habit of trying to get someones attention or respect by covering up their true selves and adopting all the interests and hobbies of the person they admire, basically a chameleon. this makes them seem fake. i wish they would just embrace who they are and be themselves because literally everyone on earth would prefer that. some, usually the men, can be extremely arrogant and think they’re the greatest thing ever at everything with no evidence. they can be incredibly insecure and have all sorts of weird ways of covering it up. can be manipulative. very flirtatious which is great if you’re interested in one and really not great while you’re dating them. don’t really understand the concept of emotional cheating, probably because they do it so much and dont want to look at themselves as cheaters but they are.  if you find a loyal self aware libra with integrity and self respect though, my god they could rule the world through their ability for kindness and love.

Scorpio: I can be good friends with them but dating them is always a poor choice. they can be pretty oblivious and a lot of them get caught up in trying to look cool. its not because they care what people think its for some weird unknown self serving reason. these people can surprise you in all kinds of ways. because they keep themselves pretty low profile you never really know what they’re capable of. they’re unpredictable that way. they are pretty slutty in frivolous relationships, but once they commit they’re pretty attached. almost to an unhealthy degree. like they could get beat up, cheated on and abandoned by their partner and still love them (true story. like 3 of them). honestly though, usually just dorky memelords who wanna argue with you about politics and music using alien conspiracies as supporting evidence.

Sagittarius: oh you fiery eyed beauties. the independent ones are the best ones. they can talk all kinds of shit and not give a fuck better than anyone and its amazing so long as you’re not on the receiving end of it. the lazier ones are usually more clingy and unsure of themselves and usually use that fiery energy on their loved ones and themselves which isnt as fun. they are the greatest best friends. they know exactly what to say and when and they are the type of person where if you tell them you got cheated on they’ll go find the bastard and light their car on fire. essentially, a punk rock sagittarius can’t be topped by anyone. just stay away from the alcohol because you are so prone to being an alcoholic like please stop we love you.

Capricorn: usually very sweet. like to the point where you wonder if they’re “okay.” they will put up with some ridiculous shit from people. if you need emotional support though ask a capricorn because they will be there. usually like to keep in charge of themselves and accomplish their goals in their own kind of strange ways. usually neat and clean and smell good. they’ll buy you pizza and not ask to pay it back. if you upset one enough to leave your life then you’ve fucked up big time because they will put up with just about anything.they are precious keep them close and protected. I only met one i didnt like and they literally ended up the person i dislike most out of the whole human race that I’ve met. so i guess this means they’re just as capable of being complete asswipes as they are being squishy marshmallows.

Source: nanothestrange

#zodiac sign #fun facts #horoscope #zodiac #astrology #facts #fact #weird #weird sign #zodiac signs #aries facts #taurus facts #gemini facts #cancer facts #leo facts #virgo facts #libra facts #scorpio facts #sagittarius facts #capricorn facts #aquarius facts #pisces facts

[imagine-fe]

matchup trade with me in disguise

aka @edelgoth sorry u know i live for bad jokes

sorry it took me almost a month to finally finish it but at least i can say that its one of the longest thing ive written in years haha. ive written one matchup for fe4 and one for fe16, both with two alternatives each! (i think u can tell in which order i wrote them bc they just kept getting longer askdsjfg) i hope u enjoy your girls and Token Guy, friend ✨

also i feel like i ended up being quite repetitive, sorry about that ;;; this isnt super edited bc my perfectionism will tell me to keep working on it instead its long and time is Against Me so please tell me if theres any mistakes

so without further ado, here it is! (under the readmore)

for fe16 i match you with…

...petra!

✧ she, too, is a very curious person and absolutely loves to learn everything she can! she’s particularly interested in other cultures, so i think you two would find common ground quite quickly! petra enjoys talking about her home country as much as she does hearing about yours and other places you know about, so there would be a quite active exchange and you definitely won’t run out of things to talk about easily

✧ speaking of talking, it’s definitely something she enjoys, even if she’s no chatterbox. she’s perfectly capable of letting you know if she ever feels overwhelmed or it’s just not a good time, so there’s nothing to worry about in regards to whether or not you might be bothering her

✧ petra has a good head on her shoulders so if you’re stressing out about something, she’s very good at grounding you and finding a solution or giving some reassurance depending on the situation. if needed, she will gladly take the time to go through everything step by step. as long as she can help you, it doesn’t matter how long it takes.

✧ she still struggles with the language a little and keeps stumbling over things that are just… different from brigid. it’s sometimes a little overwhelming, so she really appreciates your patience and understanding. with her, you’re always ensured the same in return!

✧ she’s no social butterfly, but has no trouble starting conversations with someone. she would try her best to help you overcome your shyness a little, but wouldn’t be overwhelming about it and gladly take over if something gets too much for you or you let her know that it really isn’t something you can handle

✧ she’s used to seeing animals as a source of food, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like them! in fact, not having to rely on hunting anymore definitely opens her up to come to care for them in a completely new way. (the first time she gets to pet, say, a bunny she’s so moved and completely understands why everyone seems to love them so much)

✧ i think your sense of fashion would also mesh! of course, petra would be more than happy to share what she can about brigid’s fashion too and would be absolutely delighted if you ever expressed interest in trying it out!

✧ depending on the situation, i feel like she could also maybe help with you being unforgiving? obviously she’s not the type who would push yourself to forgive someone who really doesn’t deserve it though, in that case she would only bring it up if you were, say, holding a grudge that really affected you negatively

✧ overall, i feel like it would be a very warm and supportive relationship, full of curiosity, often discovering and exploring new things together!

some alternative matches would be:

hilda

✧ you want someone to chat with? she’s your girl! hilda isn’t really the type for deep philosophical conversations, but otherwise pretty much anything is great in her books. she’s quite talkative too (without talking over anyone) so it would fit quite well!

✧ she loves fashion so you’re definitely at the right address with her, too. doesn’t matter if it’s more theoretical or practical, it’s one of the few things she’s openly passionate about, after all.

✧ while she’s no artist, she loves seeing your art! if given the chance, she would absolutely make some accessories inspired by her favourite pieces. same goes for your stories, too!

✧ i can’t see her being all that interested in your other hobbies, but if you play your cards right, she’ll listen to you and perhaps find a thing or two she’d like to know more about!

bernadetta

✧ as you know i was especially torn up about who to give this last spot to, and bernie is someone who i kept on deleting and adding to the list in general… but in the end i think she’s who i’m happiest to put here, after all

✧ now, for the most obvious, your negative traits are very similar, just with a special Bernie Flavour™. it’s the biggest reason why i felt she wasn’t as good of a match, however i’d like to think it could help you out, too. you know those moments of like. “i’m anxious about doing this but this person with me feels even more anxious so i somehow become able to do it after all”? kinda like that. plus, while it’s obviously not the same, having at least partially similar troubles definitely helps you relate to and support each other

✧ your nature i feel would really help her open up to you and feel… accepted? i can see it definitely aiding her in building up some self esteem and also starting to… trust people. she’s still gonna leave most of the talking to you, but you definitely get to see a side of her nobody else does very quickly and she’s a great conversational partner if you want to talk about the… deeper things

✧ if there’s ever a competition for “most creative couple”, then the two of you definitely have a good chance at winning! she, too, is very artistically inclined after all. it takes her a while to share her stories especially (since they tend to be rather… personal) but once you overcome that, bernadetta loves having someone she can talk about writing and drawing with! she definitely understands feeling negatively about your creations, too, and i think a lot of mutual support could come from that understanding of each other in this regard, too. i can see the both of you eventually getting to the point where you openly share everything in this regard, give each other critique, share tips you learned or certain skills you have, and just help each other improve in every way! also just… a lot of mutual inspiration

for fe4 i match you with…

...diadora!

✧ having spent most of her life in a remote village with little contact to the outside world, she’s a very curious person herself and enjoys learning too, so i think that would fit very well!

✧ she… tends to be rather spontaneous when making her decisions and will rarely change her course of actions once she’s set, so i think that could definitely help with your tendency to overthink and indecisiveness! on the other hand, you could also help her learn some, well, impulse control (and that sometimes thinking things through properly really is the way to go)

✧ she’s naturally a very supportive and encouraging person which would probably help with reassuring your more insecure side at least a little

✧ diadora is pretty… mellow in regards to most things so i think she would be very interesting in hearing about your opinions on things! it might help her gain a stance of her own, too

✧ not the most talkative, but definitely enjoys good conversation. even if she’s not in a mood to talk herself though, she will always gladly listen! she’s a very attentive listener

✧ whenever you start talking about something you're passionate about though, she's not only going to be an attentive but also a passionate listener. she really enjoys not only learning something new but also seeing that wonderful spark in your eyes!

✧ your positive qualities are quite similar, so i can see it being a very warm and supportive relationship! even if you do have a fight, she isn’t the type to push too far, so it would usually be resolved quite quickly, especially because of the willingness to listen and (trying to) understand to each other

✧ in general, i think she would absolutely eat up your interests! in the beginning she would mostly just listen to you talk about them and absorb all the information she can, but with time she would absolutely inform herself and you would end up having mutual conversations!

✧ diadora adores your creative streak and nothing would make her happier than being able to see your writings or drawings! she’s going to be your biggest fan without a doubt

✧ writing in particularly opens a whole new world up to her. she’s always been an avid reader, but with learning of the possibility of writing yourself… with some encouragement, she will gladly join you in that hobby in particular and loves trading bits and pieces of stories with you! 

✧ she absolutely loves forest animals (those she is familiar with) so you would be in good company in that regard! she will gladly teach you more about them, too, if youre interested in that

some alternative matches would be:

sigurd

✧ he’s got lots of love to give and is endlessly supportive, as long as it’s nothing that goes against his moral code, of course. basically, he’s your biggest fan and in constant awe of the things you do, especially because he doesn’t have any artistic skill himself at all. so, while he doesn’t really understand your insecurity, he’s also always more than willing to drop as many positive comments as you need to at any given time

✧ again, he… has a tendency towards rash decisions, so i think you might be able to positively influence each other in that regard, too

✧ sigurd is, especially at the start of his “journey”, a pretty naive person who doesn’t really know much about the way the world works. as such, i feel he would really enjoy getting to talk to someone knowledgeable in different fields than he is! 

✧ overall, i feel like your positive qualities especially overlap a lot, which i think would bring a lot of positive energy into the relationship. also, you know, if you want to make a difference in the world, what better way to try it with someone in a position of power at your side?

lachesis

✧ she’s strong in every sense and almost always knows exactly what she wants, when, and how. while that may lead to heads being butted sometimes, i think in general it’d be a good driving force with a set direction and may bring some stability, in a sense

✧ not one for mincing words so what she says is what you’ll get. well, that isn’t to say she can’t change her mind or anything like that, but you definitely won’t ever have to worry about her not being honest, especially when in a close relationship

✧ another one who starts out pretty naive and maybe even a little spoiled. she does grow into her role rather quickly, but even then she would definitely appreciate having some guidance. highly values your input, as long as it’s not delivered in a way that hurts her ego (especially in the beginning, she’s a little… sensitive in that regard)

✧ absolutely loves fashion so you’re definitely on the right page with her on that! while lachesis rarely does it openly, i can actually see her liking to draw too whenever she gets around to do so! by herself she’s not terribly passionate about reading but would gladly exchange thoughts on books the both of you have read or read whatever you wrote, if you let he

#matchup #edelgoth #im super tired so i just like. very roughly checked this and tried to fix the formatting #skdfh copy-paste sure is annoying in that regard... #anyway time for bed. im Anxious now i rly hope u will like it!!! #writing #i guess it counts. bc fuck this is long i so i say it does

[alicezan-ncgred]

Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul​, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative. 

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely  meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this. 

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too. 

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin. 

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better. 

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.  

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression. 

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that. 

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD,  Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind. 

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue. 

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt. 

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly. 

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling. 

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode. 

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell. 

#Long post #tw: suicide #TW: Depression #Trigger Warning #TW #OCD #Anxiety #Chronic Depression #Bipolar Disorder #Bipolar #Mental Health #My mental health

[k-urokonobasket]

kurotsuki headcanons bc im weak for like. the housekeeping stuff.

third gym all xchanged numbers at training camp, kept in touch. it wasn't super active, but once someone sends smth it just keeps blowing up. (kuroo bokuto akaashi lev hinata and tsukishima are all in it!) its active like once a weekish probably, mostly . not tsukishima! hes in it but has it muted but sometimes hell humor them and react to the messages and stuff - this kid loves to have fun. akaashi is even less active then him though, bless his heart. but sometimes when kuroo or bokuto come up north to visit family, theyll ask if they can play at the gym or meet up and sometimes. kuroo will text him directly which makes tsukishima Raise His Hackles but he doesnt say no, and the first time they meet up, its at Ukais shop (albeit when someone else is at the counter.) tsuki voice you arent getting me to any secondary location sister. its also the first thing he addresses - youre a cradle robber? chasing firsties? cant land anyone your own age? kuroo laughs but says hes not really interested in anyone but he wanted to properly apologize for his comment over the summer, and in return he'll allow tsuki to lend his ear - for anything. tsukishima is like. w h a t ? ¿ he accepts the apology for the hinata thing but then chdbzhsbj he gets this Glint In His Eye when he says "he might be creeping up on me and inevitably over come me, but im not kind enough to make it easy for him" and like not to be dramatic but kuroo gets goosebumps and is like Ah Hah. he commends tsukishima on the change in perspective, and asks if they wanna go to the karasuno gym - hell help in his endeavors, and after sitting on a train for a few hours hes restless. the . offer to talk kind of slides to the wayside, but neither particularly mind because theyre not Really The Talking Type and tsukishima enjoys being around someone with the same sort of cunning edge he has, and they make slight jabs during the walk and its . light. easy! when they show up its free practice, so some of the people from the girls team are there, as well as the third years. suga notices them first, and gets daichis and asahis attention and hes like. Hello ? tsukishima is like. Now We Dont Have Time To Unpack All Of That, so he lets kuroo explain. daichi raises an eyebrow but leaves it alone, at least until right before they leave and he talks to him and is like. i know youre not so despicable to go after a kid but . be kind. and kuroo nods and smiles and says his "im always this kind" line and daichi rolls his eyes but he trusts him and wishes him well. kuroo is kind of surprised everyone things hes trying to flirt with tsuki, but. people will just be like that.

anyway, they meet up sometimes, joking and talking about teammates and school and kuroo helps tsuki with chemistry and they find out kuroos going to school for molecular bio and tsuki is thinking about lit, or maybe compsci, but he's not too pressed about it yet. kuroo is like Ah, The Wiles Of Youth and that earns him a soft smack on the back of his head.

tsukishima doesnt go to see him graduate high school, but he does send a text, which is nice.

as kuroo settles in at his university (north or tokyo but not by much, hes a city boy!) they visit less but tsukishima has a lot to do because the new first years have a lot of work they need and now that hinata and kageyama are less incorrigible spending time with them can actually be fun, but they still try for once a month, splitting the difference. kuroo got recruited to his team and still plays volleyball and its exciting to watch him get better - tsukishima says hes not going to watch until kuroo muscles his way onto the starting lineup because otherwise whats the point.

third year for tsukishima and hes vice to yamaguchi and he is proud proud proud and theyve got to wrangle these untidy underclassman and now that theyve got multiple national titles under their belt, they can now start to reestablish as a powerhouse snd get the fundng and managers and scouts they need so the captains have a lot of responsibilities, so it sometimes gets harder to get away. kuroo is settling well at school and did well in terms of grades and even if he isnt a starter, hes on the bench and thats Something. when he does start a game, tsukishima comes down to watch, and its. incredible? breathtaking? hes really good and hes connecting with the team and yeah its not nekoma but he looks just as home on this court as any other and hes made a family all his own right here. after the game he waits outside the locker room, and like not to be ridiculous but watching that game made tsukishima graduate from crush to like. being in love with kuroo. and he hopes people cant see. some of kuroos other teammates leave first, and most pay him no mind but theres a few who catch his eye, have a moment of recognition, and start snickering to their friends. it puts tsukishima on edge, a little, but even if these are college kids tsukishima has mastered his intimidation technique from the best (tanaka) (even if hes WHOLLY UNSUBTLE!) and then when kuroo exits at long last, tsukishima launches himself at him, wrapping him in a huge hug and kuroo freezes before hugging back just as hard.

tsukishima doesnt know if itll be worth much but he still whispers that hes so proud into kuroos ear and like. peak tenderness.

when they go apart, kuroo has fucking flowers and tsukishima is like. hello? hello? and kuroo asks him on a dste and tsukishima calls him an idiot and kisses him st its Cute.

before heading back home he visits suga and daichi who are sharing an apt in tokyo while they go to school and like. decompresses and loses his mind and they both give their blessing.

and when tsukishima comes back he keeps it quiet for a few months from the other two but yachi and yamaguchi both know pretty soon and when hinata finds out he absolutely drags out the groupchat and SHOVEL TALKS KUROO!! kageyama doesnt say much but they do need to, he and tsukishima have a quiet companionship now and hes fine with that. yamaguchi meets w kuroo seperately and its not a shovel talk but it is very much. be kind be nice be prepared and kuroo is happy someone he l*ves is loved but hes still properly scared of the murder of karasuno crows. and obviously bokuto and kenma and yaku reach out to do the same but its pretty sweet all around

kuroo watches him graduate. he helps him apply to college- theyre an hour or so apart but its a vast improvement and they make it work.

and they make it work!

#im soft and this is so long.

[midoriyasbones]

This isnt hate but man, you're wrong. You were an anti, you took part in a nasty group that hurt people and continues to do so, and no one has to forgive you or be nice to you just because you got better. even if you didn't send the hate, you're not entitled to others nice behavior. and complaining about being judged for it when sheith shippers have had to go through so much shit, just makes you look so fake; 1/?

2/? sheith shippers have had to go through so much shit, and just because you have or Are going through doesn’t make you deserving of our consideration; It just means you’re in the same boat as us now. And so you should know how it feels; But seeing you complain and gripe about it makes you look incredibly whiney and superficial dude. You ARE ALLOWED to be sad and angry and want to enjoy your ship,           

3/? you absolutely are, and we are too. But we got our anger from the group you used to support and belong to– You’ve gotta understand that.  antis are still out there doxxing, harrassing our staff and VA’s off twitter, ruining panels, making death threats and suicide baiting, chasing off content creators, misusing “pedophile”, causing the infamous needle incident and more– and you guys are mad because theres some angry posts and cross tagging?? And you expect /sympathy?/ Really????            

4/ Please, go outside, get some fresh air, go for a walk, go offline for an hour every day. Refresh yourself. Take a breather. Refocus, and understand with more perspective the irony of it all, and why you’ve got so much angry vitriolic Sheithers out there. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and ex-antis/klancers, especially the ones who are content to “stay in their lane” are only making themselves look worse by acting entitled to forgiveness while taking out anger on sheiths for being             

5/? justifiably angry about the cyberbullying they themselves helped bring about. Especially the ones who are “staying in their lane” while doing nothing to prevent all the anti’s that are CAUSING such vitriolic sheiths in the first place– then demanding that we stop being angry because its not fun for them– wow yknow what isnt fun for us? Being called pedophiles, suicide baited, and threatened daily. But god forbid we talk about it, be angry about it, express that– then we’ve gone TOO FAR             

6/? im stopping here because this started with intent to be NICE criticism and is now descending into an angry ramble and thats not what i wanna do here- the point remains: what you said is not reasonable, relies on expectation and entitlement, and as such, comes off as entitled, fake, and all around insincere. And in your TakeBackKlance server i see you shitting on sheiths like this all the time. Its disappointing, extraordinarily hypocritical, and furthers the established mistrust between             

7 / ? shaladins and ex-anti’s. And you complain about people staying away from ex-anti’s. If they’re acting like this, of course they would. They’re perfectly within their rights to, justifiably, and you have to accept that. So yeah, you “have to atone” Its almost like you’ve gotta earn each individual persons trust, like in real life?. If you’re complaining about it, then it just shows you don’t really support Shaladins as much as you claimed you did.            

okay, thank you for some perspective on the situation, and i’m going to give you some credit. you managed to convey yourself in a civil way making very valid points and expressing emotions that are entirely valid. there is nothing here that i don’t think is out of place. your anger here is very much warranted and i appreciate you acknowledging all this, but i’m not sure you understand everything that’s going on.

first of all, i was an anti almost a year ago. i ditched the community in june of 2017 and became a full fledged pro in july of that same year. since then i’ve done my best to drop all my former bearings of that life. that’s my personal history.

1. “you’ve gotta understand that.  antis are still out there doxxing, harrassing our staff and VA’s off twitter, ruining panels, making death threats and suicide baiting, chasing off content creators, misusing “pedophile”, causing the infamous needle incident and more-”

not only do i understand this, but i’ve seen it first hand and have been fighting against it for nearly a year. i understand your anger because i am just as angry about it too. i’ve actively been fighting against that since i switched over and i’m not saying that makes me ‘worthy’ or anything, but it’s not like i’m sitting back here doing nothing.

2. and you guys are mad because theres some angry posts and cross tagging??

no, we’re mad that pro ship klancers are being constantly kicked aside and expected to just take it. we’re mad that a community that calls themselves ‘pro ship’ makes us feel unwelcome and has chased us out of what is supposed to be a place for us too. cross tagging isn’t cool no matter what. vent posts i really don’t give two shits about, you have every right to express your anger.

3. And you expect /sympathy?/ Really???? 

no, i actually don’t. you don’t have to give me the time of day, i’m just asking that you not come into our inboxes or reblog our posts with angry and irrelevant additions (so long as our posts aren’t overstepping certain boundaries of course).

4. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and ex-antis/klancers, especially the ones who are content to “stay in their lane” …

i’m not an anti, i’m a pro shipper. i believe that everyone has the right to ship whatever they want. i think that people who harass others for their ships are immature. and in case you didn’t know i far from stay in my goddamn lane. i don’t allow antis to say shit and get away with it. i don’t support anyone who is anti ship, even those who claim not to be a part of the anti community. you’re comparing apples to oranges.

5. are only making themselves look worse by acting entitled to forgiveness 

again, not asking for forgiveness. i’m not entitled to a damn thing except a peaceful life.

6. on sheiths for being justifiably angry about the cyberbullying they themselves helped bring about.

i won’t deny, when i was an anti i should’ve recognized that what i supported was wrong and i should’ve stepped up and done something, but i didn’t. i won’t excuse my actions, i’ll stand here right now and tell you i was being immature, selfish, and stupid. there is nothing i can do or say that will make up for what i did or actually didn’t do. i can at least say i never sent anything or said anything extremely awful, but i certainly didn’t try to stop anyone and i did actively support them. that’s on me… but that’s also almost a year ago. you don’t have to even want to be around me, i’m just asking that you don’t think i’m still in support of that stuff anymore.

7. Especially the ones who are “staying in their lane” while doing nothing to prevent all the anti’s that are CAUSING such vitriolic sheiths in the first place

i’m not causing anyone to do anything. the way people act on their anger is entirely on them, not me. furthermore, i’ve already addressed that i am taking action, so this really isn’t a fair thing to say to me at all.

8. then demanding that we stop being angry because its not fun for them

point to where i’ve said you can’t be critical of klance or lance or anything. as long as what you’re doing is cross tagging i could care less. as long as what you’re doing isn’t going into people’s inboxes or bullying them out of fnadom spaces that are supposed to positive i quite honestly don’t consider it my business. be angry, get that out, it’s healthy to express that emotion, just make sure you aren’t being toxic.

9. wow yknow what isnt fun for us? Being called pedophiles, suicide baited, and threatened daily.

full offense, but i’ve been called a pedo too. i’ve been suicide baited and threatened too. in some cases it was daily. you already said we’re in the same boat, so suddenly why are you shoving me off of it? we’re in this fuck fest together anon, and again, that doesn’t mean you owe me shit, but i don’t owe you anything either.

10. But god forbid we talk about it, be angry about it, express that– then we’ve gone TOO FAR 

like i supposedly have when i express my anger about getting the same treatment from people who said they supported me? vent posts are not too far. harassment (like that lance’s ass fumes anon and the clit anon) is.

11. And in your TakeBackKlance server i see you shitting on sheiths like this all the time. Its disappointing, extraordinarily hypocritical, and furthers the established mistrust betweenshaladins and ex-anti’s

false. i’m literally never in there because i’m so busy with my real life stuff. i have said some things in my anger, but i do not think it is nearly frequent enough to label as ‘all the time’. most of the time i’m in agreement with the sheith fandom. your criticism of antis and of fanon and even canon stuff is totally valid, i’m only angry about when things stray too far and actual people are attacked. what’s disappointing is that i’m on the receiving end of your anger for something i don’t even do.

12. And you complain about people staying away from ex-anti’s

i literally don’t want you anywhere near me. i don’t want my name in your mouth. i don’t want to be yelled at for things i haven’t done and no longer support. i’m not asking you to support me. i’m not asking you to follow me. i’m not asking you for anything. i’m asking that i not be blamed for things i no longer take part of. that’s all.

13. They’re perfectly within their rights to, justifiably, and you have to accept that.

what’s justified? vent posts that are properly tagged.

what’s not justified? getting sent anon hate and seeing myself vagued just because i don’t like it when my friends are upset over how they get treated and i actually speak my mind. what would be fake is if i kept my damn mouth shut, but i don’t. you need to accept that.

14. So yeah, you “have to atone” Its almost like you’ve gotta earn each individual persons trust, like in real life?

actually?? it’s almost like i have been working my hardest to do so? and those who actually know me would say that i am balls to the fucking wall in everything i do? you don’t have to trust me, you don’t have to forgive me, but i’m not going to take everything lying down just because my past isn’t spotless. i don’t owe you a blind following. you’re not immune to my thoughts just because i was once a part of a group that hurt you. it’s been hard enough to forgive myself, i don’t need to work for someone’s forgiveness who clearly has no intention of even giving me a chance. i don’t need to atone for a damn thing and i thank you for actually bringing this up. i was working and being so hard on myself thinking i had to make it up to y’all and i actually don’t. i’ve been chaining myself up for you when i didn’t need to.

15. If you’re complaining about it, then it just shows you don’t really support Shaladins as much as you claimed you did.            

if you’re complaining about someone bringing up that they’re uncomfortable with how horrible a certain aspect of fandom life makes them feel than you clearly can’t take as much as you think you can. i was never trying to hurt or offend anyone in my post and was careful to craft it in a way that took into account how much anger has built up over the years. you have every right to hate k/l, but you have absolutely 0 rights to pretend you’re a perfectly kind person if you think that my past means i owe you anything while thinking it’s justified that my friends and i receive hate for a fucking ship from people who say they support me. 

no offense anon, i think your anger towards my past and what i once affiliated myself with is totally justified, you can even be angry at me, but you also need to accept that i am not who you are painting me to be. i am not a ‘stay in my lane’ fake person. i stand up a lot for others and i work hard to create things and places for everyone. i understand that not everyone needs to like me, and i’ve accepted that fact long ago, all i am asking, and all anyone is asking really, is that if you don’t like us, then ignore us. don’t feel the need to come into our inboxes or reply to our posts. we really don’t want to hear it. we’ve been through quite enough just from leaving the antis. you don’t have to like, you don’t have to follow me, you don’t have to be my friend, but you do have to acknowledge that i am not the person you think i am.

your anger, your hurt, and your frustration is something i resonate with. i can feel the pain through your words and i want you to know that i don’t hold this anon against you at all. you have every right to express your opinions and offer me this. i think that in some ways you’re right, maybe i am asking for too much, maybe i’m being a little much, maybe i’m not totally in the right here, but a lot of this feels misdirected. instead of being angry at antis you’re pouring it out on me. instead of taste of my own medicine you’re just pouring concrete down my throat. your emotions and your pain are valid here, but i’m not your target and taking it out on us isn’t fair. you can’t hold this above my head and think you’re justified in doing so.

again, i’m not taking away your right to vent, all i’m saying is please don’t think i am your enemy because i truly am not. i’m not an anti. my past is not my present and neither is it yours. the anger you feel is real, but it’s not entirely something you can throw at me and expect me or any pro ship k/l to just take it. we’re not the fandom stress ball or punching bag, we’re people just as you are. you have every right to be wary of me, i  don’t blame you, but again… don’t tell me this is all my fault. it’s not. it’s really really not.

thank you for giving me your perspective and your time, but at the end of the day it’s not my responsibility to make you feel okay again. that’s on you. we don’t owe each other anything. i don’t expect anything from anyone but it feels like everyone is expecting a lot from me, too much really.

#ask jules #anon... rant? #yeah #anon rant #discourse #Anonymous

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

[lesbianralzarek]

Quick question! I'm part of a peer support group for my department at my university and want to make sure I have the right skillset to support anyone who might come to me without sounding condescending :) so is it appropriate to, and if so, what is a good way to compliment someone who is autistic with how they're doing?

a good question and a good goal. the answer varies from person to person, as autism is such a wide spectrum, but a good rule of thumb is to not compare our accomplishments to that of allistics. we arent trying to be allistic, we’re just trying to be the best version of ourselves (or, at least, thats the goal that any decent mental health advocacy groups tries to give its clients). saying anything along the lines of “wow! youre functioning just like a normal person!” is usually bad. just focus on the skills/accomplishments themselves. theres no need to say “youre so good at _____ its almost like youre not autistic” when you can just say “youre so good at _____”. if comparisons are necessary for whatever reason, compare them to themselves. “youve gotten a lot better at _____ over the past few weeks” is so much better than “you match up at about this level to normal people” (no one says it that bluntly but thats absolutely a line of thinking ive bumped heads with). 

im assuming this is in response to my comment about how “i would never have guessed you were autistic” isnt a compliment. in which case, ill give you a better alternative to say when someone tells you they have asd. “oh, okay. is there anything i need to be aware of?” that way, you arent being condescending, you arent implying being allistic is the better alternative, and you arent prying for any info they dont want to share, all the while you still have a meaningful response that properly addresses the mild gravity of what they just told you. this is by no means a script, but just play it by ear along the lines of wanting to help without implying that they need help. you feel me? if that doesnt quite make sense (im writing this at a ridiculous hour in the morning), or if you have any more questions, id be glad to answer however i can :)

#asd #actuallyautistic #autism tag #bekamercury

[annieoftheshitposts]

this post used to be a link to the old canons page but i’m turning it into a text dump of the revised one for people on mobile [or who have bad wifi/computers that the fancy schmancy script on the canons page wouldn’t play well with.] theres a lot sorry not sorry. here we go.

Canon Info

 Much more is said about Annie in external sources than the game itself, here's copypastes of all I know of and go by.

From the 3rd DLC Character Voting page:

As popular figures in nationwide folktales, a children’s television adaptation of Annie and Sagan’s adventures was inevitable. The show’s success lies in its pair of live action hosts, who are as convincing as their cartoon counterparts. Though what the public learns about the real Annie might surprise them. Annie is a seasoned fighter who has been around for a long time, acquiring many skills and powers along the way. Her sword is forged from a meteorite and can channel the power of the stars in its sweeping cleaves. Her right eye bonds her to her Remote Parasite and partner, Sagan, who grants her powers of a galactic motif. While some of her abilities carry more of a sparkly magical girl motif, Annie tries to execute them with the same sternness.

From "The canon info thread" on Skullheart Encore forums:

-Annie is several-century-old. Her immortality was gained when her parents wished on the Skull Heart so that Annie would never have to experience the hardship of adulthood, thereby making her forever a child. -She has had many different weapons and abilities throughout her life. - Sagan, her remote parasite. keeps her right eye in his mouth. - She’s physically not able to swear due to her condition - She is familiar with Double due to her experience fighting Skullgirls - Annie has encountered a lot of Skullgirls and has killed a lot, but not the same a lot. She’s seen the cycle multiple times and seen how they become stronger each time and is looking for the underlying source now. - The Annie of the Stars show is very similar to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with live action segments with cartoons and PSAs and commercials in between. - Sagan can talk. Somehow. - Annie hides her immortality by getting a new hairstyle every few years. The show tells the audience that they have simply changed the actress. Eliza also pulls a similar trick

and finally some other misc. scraps that weren't covered above:

-annie has some kind of "super" or "powered up" form, in which she seems to fuse with sagan. it can be seen on her

move concept sheet, in the end of robo-fortune's story mode, and as a very tiny feature on one of robo-fortune's merch posters, but to my knowlege it's never really been talked about.

-she's been depicted with an "incognito outfit", presumably for going out in public and not being recognized by fans.

-sagan is named after renowned astrophysicist carl sagan. this isnt really relevant to anything but it's not on the wiki so i figured i'd share :b

-and this random pic of annie in the past with a different look, plus gun and minus eyepatch, apparently official art from the "digital art compendium". i haven't seen the source for this one myself though, and count this one more as speculative canon since that ingame image up there with her eye uncovered doesn't show a scar or any kind of damage from this.

-another canon fact about annie is she is strong and brave and i love her.

Headcanon (Annie)

this is pretty disorganized bc i come up with and revise random shit on a fairly regular basis, but the very least it should be all here and up-to-date. [though on this text post version i may forget to keep it updated oops.

she can still only normally see from the one eye in her head [and likewise probably has terrible depth perception lmao], but she can “project” her vision into the one sagan has if need be, during which time both he and her main eye are blind.

even though sagan’s vision is his own and she doesn’t actively “see” through that eye most of the time, the stuff he sees still becomes part of her memory and she can recall it if need be, though it’s far less tangible and kind of a surreal experience trying to do so.

the space where her other eye was is now just...space. like empty starry void stuff. yes, TECHNICALLY, you could put stuff in it but why would you. sagan can feel when something interacts with it and it’s really just weird and uncomfortable for both of them.as sagan is the source of their powers, the strength of her abilities is slightly dependent on her distance from him. something like long sustained flight is really only capable if they’re touching, but she still has ample firepower and ability to zip around for a pretty good range otherwise.

Not interested in anime

absolutely hates being called her full name; hasn't gone by anything other than "Annie" for longer than anyone that should be alive today should know.

part of her curse of eternal youth is remembering everything up until the point it kicked in and she stopped aging [i.e. when she was Actually a kid] exactly as well as if she hadn’t aged.

from that point however, a lot of it is hazy as shit aside from more recent times [as you’d expect from someone who’s been around hundreds of years]. this one's gonna be angsty as shit when i address it and you can thank @sandstriker for that. fucker.

also hates being restrained. by the concept sheet and beo's story, her fighting style is very kinetic and relies heavily on mobility; take that away and you get one very uncomfortable and very angry starchild. [this one's 'cause of y'all with the handcuffs asks. this is part of why she's so agitated rn.]

what's in the pouch? whatever is alternatively convenient. is it snacks? is it a quick incognito disguise? is it her whole entire sword? who knows. i think it might be infinite hammerspace in there.

i haven't put much though into this side of her story yet, but i've decided part of the mythos of the "annie of the stars" character as a figure of legend is that she literally lives, among the stars.

if there's enough folktales about her to base an entire show off of, i'm willing to bet she used to be less elusive when she was just about fighting skullgirls before dedicating herself to the whole "looking for the underlying source" thing.

Headcanon (Sagan)

tl;dr: as far as things go here, he's essentially a cat and/or younger sibling.

Sagan's canon information and characterization is basically nonexistant, so i got to do pretty much whatever i wanted with him lmao.

simply put, he's a little gremlin of a partner, but he is genuinely good-natured and a happy-go-luckly little dude. mischevious, loves to get up to Shenanigans, go off and hide/disappear to fuck knows where for several hours, climb and sit on tall things[or failing that, annie's head], etc. @sawkinator has described him, regrettably accurately, as "the Token Disney Animal Sidekick". he has a lot of mannerisms like an animal, but is still very much a being of at least average human intelligence. he's also surprisingly indestructible. far from invincible of course, but in canon he's been shown to be quite stretchy and...possibly have minor shapeshifting capabilities?? he's pretty much immune to being squashed and feels very little [if any] pain from most things. really, as far as i can tell he's pretty much a weird sentient plushie. like, if it's not going to damage a plushie, it's not going to hurt him; examples being: getting knocked back really hard or falling a long way? not a problem. fire? problem.

Sagan tends to be somewhat nonverbal and generally only uses a few words or short phrase at a time when he does speak, which sounds something like the voice clip below. that being how it is, he can be kind of inscrutable and more than a bit jarring to most people--though at this point annie's been with him more than long enough to be completely desensitized to it and doesnt quite get why anyone would be perturbed. fortunately, with that familiarity also comes understanding, and she can easily "translate" and articulate more from his expressions. this understanding is a two-way street, and on its other side is sagan's sensitivity to her moods. annie's not particularly...communicative of her emotions, but sagan can always tell when she's having an off day or something's bothering her, and is far better than anyone at helping her feel better. all things said and quirky antics aside, he and annie are exceptionally close and fiercely protective of eachother the moment it comes to it. they don't make a big deal of showing it outwardly, but they know they've always got eachother's backs.

he's taken quite a liking to beowulf as well, and beo defintiely shamelessly enables sagan's shenanigans.

as i see it, annie may be the passion and power of their operation, but sagan is the heart and soul. beowulf is like....comic releif and emotional support. not entirely necessary, but certainly welcomed to have around. yeah. listen im a big sap i just want them all to be good friends ok. i love them.

also sagan does like and watch a lot of anime.

Blog Canon

miscellaneous happenings that either have continued relevance/significance, or y'all just won't let die. there's not a overarching plot to this thing at all, but geez we’ve kinda gathered some history here huh?

taught sagan to say fuck [and other swears, in her stead]. he used to have to do it on command but he's gotten really good at filling in for her.has a

stoat fursona that beo helped her make. she thinks it's neat/cute but has no real attachment to it.

attempted to sue the crystal gems for ripping off her entire shtick [it didn't go well]

beowulf also taught her how to dab.

@sparkeletran is a nuisance and must be stopped

the 70$ pile of high school musical merch. sagan and beo both wear the t-shirts sometimes. she hates it. don't let her attitude fool you though this is actually the best and most important ongoing joke in this whole damn thing.

the first handcuffs stint. they’re gone now but they had a good ~30-post run, and she did take to learning lockpicking because of it.

this.

hey. guess fucking what lads. handcuffs ROUND TWO 'cause y'all just don't fuckin' quit. the first mini story arc sorta thing, in which she visits the cirque des cartes and has an aggravting encounter with taliesin. [currently ongoing][hopefully soon ending]

[[redacted for ""spoilers""]] due to said encounter with taliesin

sparkeletran is a nuisance,

"the official annie of the stars instagram is just cat memes but with sagan" it's canon but i haven't decided whether it's something she would have had already or a recent thing. [either way, hasn't been touched on yet due to the arc taking so long]

badart annie is sorta like her own thing at this point but nothing that happens with her is canon; she p much just shows up for exceptionally dumb posts. we did give her noclip though which is terrifying. on that note i may as well include the things that are Not canon but y'all won't let me forget

beo's animated belt thing. look. it doesnt talk.

spray-on boots.

the lawnmower weapon

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh homestuck

#not annieposting

[xwwaqdyd-blog]

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[samanthasroberts]

Betches Love This College: The University Of Georgia

College is the best four years (five if you play your cards right) of any betchs life. No no. That wasnt a question. So in honor of college admissions season being like now, were bringing back Betches Love This College. That way, you can pick where to go to school based on important shit like parties and drinking rather than grades and what you want to be when you grow up. Youre welcome in advance.

In terms of where to apply, everyone knows Manhattanites go Ivy League (and Emory), while West Coasters love the Arizona schools. But what about Southern betches? Where tf do they go? The University of Georgia, thats where. UGA has all the cool shit Southern schools are known for like gorgeous people, insane Greek life, an awesome-ish football team, etc., but its also really hard to get into these days so you cant be a total hillbilly and go there. Sorry Alabama, maybe next year. So heres what you need to know.

The People

Greeks: Given that UGA is a massive Southern university, its not exactly groundbreaking that Greek life is no fucking joke. In terms of whos who, you can put them into two categories: old row and new row. Your old row sororities (ADPi, KKG, Theta, XO and Phi Mu) pretty much have the Atlanta private schools on lock, plus rich Texas and North Carolina girls. So unless youre one of those or the worlds hottest legacy, youre not getting in. But dont fret, public school betches. There are a handful of new row sororities that are just as good if not better. KD, ZTA and AOPi are definitely the best.

For the fraternities, theyre exactly what youd expect. Super fratty and douchey. Look out for pledges the first few weeks of school. Theyll be the guys walking around campus in suits who look like they want to fucking kill themselves. Poor kids. Before your 4-5 years are up, youll definitely want to be asked on Old South because who doesnt want to get wasted in an antebellum dress? So make nice with the KAs.

Orientation Leaders: You know the girl in high school who was the head cheerleader, volleyball captain, class president, valedictorian and still managed to volunteer at the local nursing home on the weekends? Yeah, this is what she becomes in college. There are guy OLs too, but that didnt work with my analogy. Every year, 12 people are picked from the entire 30,000+ person student body to help the freshman figure shit out before move-in day. If Taylor Swift had gone to UGA, she probs would have been an OL. Seems like the type.

Hipsters: Besides that Travelocity commercial and being the worlds greatest college town, Athens is a pretty artsy place. Most importantly, it has a kick-ass music scene, so what does that mean? Hipsters be flocking so they can see musicians before they go mainstream. They leave town during home games, hate the Greeks and smoke a lot. Theyre probs photojournalism or lit majors and arent involved in anything on campus because thats for the stereotypical norm. Fucking duh.

Athletes: If youre not one of first three, youre most likely a student athlete. Football players are easy to spot because theyre the massive, Nike-clad guys who ride around campus on red vespas. Have you ever seen a linebacker on a scooter? Its a sight. But tbh, no one really gives a shit about seeing football players. Too common. The athletes to be on the lookout for are the Gymdogs, UGAs badass gymnasts, and Olympians. UGA had like 30 people compete in Rio and they won 10 medals. Thats more than most countries. Pretty fucking impressive. If you see any of the gold medalists, be sure to get that shit on your Snapchat story.

Where To Live

Freshmen: All UGA freshman are required to live in the dorms. Just a heads up, these arent the dorms of Buckingham fucking Palace you see on Pinterest. The box my Tori Burch riding boots came in is bigger than these. But suck it up. Its just a year. In terms of the best dorms to live in, the high-rises are the only way to go. There are a shit ton of other dorms around campus that are nicer, but only weirdos live in those and they arent as fun. Youre here to get shitfaced and meet people, not for the Ritz Carlton-esque amenities.

Sophomores: Assuming you go Greek, and I feel like most of yall reading this will, you move into the sorority house your second year. UGA sorority houses are mansions and can house about 60 girls so hopefully you dont need much alone time. The upsides? You have a chef who cooks all your meals, maids and maintenance people to fix things, and theres always something fun going on. The downsides? No alcohol in the house, no boys upstairs and if you eat all three meals everyday youll get fat.

Upperclassmen: If freshman and sophomore year wasnt enough to get the batshit crazy out of your system, you move to Georgia Heights. This place isnt disgusting like a frat house or anything, its just in the middle of downtown where all the bars and restaurants are so if you live here, youll end up going out every single night. Rent is high because the location is fire and the apartments are super nice. If youre more of a chill upperclassman, you and your friends should rent house in Five Points. Theyre close to Milledge (Greek row) and the stadium so theyre perfect for hosting tailgates and wine nights.

Nightlife

Pauleys: Every night out starts at Pauleys, a crepe bar that serves a billion different beers on tap and insanely cheap bottles of wine. Tbh, no one really goes there to eat, although at least one person at the table will order the chips and Terrapin beer cheese dip or a Nutella banana crepe. The real gem is the Manmosa, which is just a mimosa plus vodka. Aka a regular betch mimosa.

Bourbon: Its technical name is Bourbon Street, but dont call it that or youll look like a newb. This is the closest thing to a freshman bar Athens has. Why no real freshman bar? Because the only places that are 18+ are sketchy af and no one goes there. Im not going to go into the deets about what you need to have in your wallet to get into these 21 and up bars before youre actually of age because I dont want to be liable for your law-breaking ass, but I think youre picking up what Im putting down. If not, talk to your big. Shell hook you up. Back to Bourbon. Its a total shit show because freshman who cant handle their liquor take over the place. But its a rite of passage and its always rated one of the top college bars in the U.S. so if youre in Athens because youre a student or just in town for a game, you have to go there.

College Ave: Along this stretch of downtown are three bars you need to know: Sandbar, City and Silver Dollar. These used to be considered upperclassmen spots, but now you can find pretty much anyone there. Because there are so many bars in Athens (80 in one square mile for all you mathematicians), no one just stays put in one place the whole night because that would be boring. Since these are literally all right next door to each other, theyre super easy to bounce in between when you need a change of pace. These are the places to see and be seen.

Creature Comforts: Besides being one of the best breweries in the whole damn country, Creature Comforts downtown address makes it the perfect spot to pregame a night out or day drink instead of going to class.

Big Events

Shower Cap: In the spring, all the fraternities host huge parties so everyone can cope with the fact that football season is over. Literally every frat has one, but SAEs Shower Cap is the biggest and best of them all. Tbh, I have no idea why were all so obsessed with it. Its just like hundreds, maybe thousands, of blackout people on a fraternity house lawn, but its amazing. Theres always a band and the people watching will give you life.

Twilight: Every year, Athens hosts this crazy bike race called Twilight in the middle of downtown. Three reasons why everyone loves it: 1) This isnt like you and your first grade bestie seeing who can get to the bottom of the hill first. This race is some Lance Armstrong level shit. 2) Its always right before finals week so everyone gets drunk af because theyre actually gonna have to study soon. 3) Open. Container.

Georgia-Florida: All of football season at UGA is a big event, but theres nothing bigger than GAFLA. The school literally plans fall break around it because they know everyone would still bail on class if they didnt. Every year, the game is played in Jacksonville, Fla., but instead of staying close to the stadium, UGA students stay a few hours away in St. Simons. Why? Because its bullshit that its in Florida every year, and Georgians want to keep their tax dollars in state. Im not even kidding. Thats the real reason. The Friday before the game, the entire student body takes over a stretch of beach aka Frat Beach and has a massive cluster fuck of a party. The residents of SSI hate it. The university hates it. But despite their many attempts, theres nothing they can do to stop it.

Drawbacks

Every August, youll think its UGAs year for football and that this team will go all the way. Every October, your hopes and dreams will be shattered. Just go ahead and prepare yourself for football heartbreak.

Parking is a fucking nightmare, the bus drivers are absolute savages, and regardless of which direction youre walking, its miraculously always uphill. So getting around campus is a bitch. But if you take the walking route, youll have a killer ass.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/30/betches-love-this-college-the-university-of-georgia/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/30/betches-love-this-college-the-university-of-georgia/

[amorrain1990-blog]

Tips to dating in 2017

I know what your thinking, "Who needs dating tips?" If your in a relationship OBVIOUSLY this isnt for you. I write this for the single people, not just females, but anyone who is freshly out of a relationship, those who are just tired of the same old experiences and looking for something real, or those who have no idea where to start in this new age era of dating online. Mainly I want to share my experiences with the world. If my words can help anyone, even just a little bit, or make someone laugh and forget about the terrible day they had, then one of my life goals will be accomplished. if your still reading this you must be seriously bored.. Just kidding and honestly thank you to those that decided that this was worth the time. So for a little background on me and why I decided to spend my valuable (not) time putting this together. I am a serial dater. Yes I admit it. Phew, first step to quiting your problem.... Anyways, ever since I started dating at 14 years of age, (if you can call it that when your that young) I never went more than a few months without a boyfriend. At 16 I met who I thought was the man I would someday marry. 6 years later, I woke up and realized that I wasted most my young adult life being a housewife without the big shiny ring and the bragging rights. Well I lasted about 4 days before I was back on the saddle and thinking I was in love again. I of course wasnt. After that ended, I entered another long term relationship. 4 years and a hell of a lot of tears later, I ended it and here I am now. Sitting here pouring my thoughts into Tumblr, knowing full well that no one will ever read this. But im doing this not just for others. Im mainly doing it for me. I made a New Years resolution to stay single all year. Theres been a few hiccups over the first month of the year, but so far still single. Its important to prove to myself that I do not need to be tied down, that I can be my own person and do things without a MAN. ( For clarification, I am in no way shape or form a feminist) Every woman should be comfortable with who they are, and shouldnt have to rely constantly on the male species. Dont get me wrong, I love guys! Who doesnt? Their manly smell, their muscles and of course the all important Penis. Although I enjoy the company and presence of a man, I also want to get down to the real nitty gritty, the foundation that is me. I need answers to important questions like : Who am I? What can I accomplish on my own? And most importantly, What talents do I have to share that will leave my own personal mark on humanity? No answers yet, but eh, its only been a month. Now to get down to the good stuff: Online dating. Ive dabbled for a few years with it. I learned a lot, and not always the easy way. Nonetheless, I would like to leave some imparting (and possibly humorous) words of wisdom. Over the time ive spent online, browsing through guys like a damn Ikea catalouge, I have come to the realization that NO ONE IS EVER AS THEY SEEM. No, dont argue. I do not care if youve added them on facebook and stalked them on Snapchat. CAMERAS CAN LIE. I dont care if he looks like Channing Tatum and Mark Wahlberg had a wacky (albeit ingenious) science experiment and they had a devestatingly handsome baby. Keep in mind filters and angles can make just about anyone look good. That goes for both men and women. Yes ladies im talking about you. If you arent comfortable enough with yourself to let a stranger see the real you, then how do you expect to truly find someone who loves you for you? I am not completely heartless, nor am I a virgin to using a snapchat filter a time or two (or five) but there are ways to keep it real and get away with it. You may be wondering why I brought this up? Heres why: I have had more than once, met some one online, thought they were handsome in their photos,(Yes photos can be altered, but I always look at all photos. They may not show the real guy behind the profile, but there is always a lot you can infer from their pictures. but i will touch bac on that at another time.) Back to my story, I usually am very good at picking out the phonies from the real. Like I said earlier, ive got some experience in this area. So the other day im bored talking to people online and this one guy hits me up wanting to hang out. He was super sweet and his pics werent too bad so I decided to roll with it and take him up on his offer. We talked for a week and to me thats better than most guys who just send a HEY and then ask for nudes. He came to pick me up and when i met him in person I was a little bit dissapointed that his pictures online didnt seem to really look like him too much. But im not shallow so I decided to give him a chance. He was a sweetheart and absolute gentleman, but i just wasnt attracted to him. If theres no chemistry, theres no chemistry. Plain and simple. Cant force it. Anyways, two hours later he dropped me off at home (we just sat and talked the whole time.) Overall i enjoyed the experience but in the back of my mind I knew he wasnt what i was looking for. Not that i know what that is, but maybe someday ill find that story book romance. The kind that takes your breath away and covers your skin with goosepimples. (meh, a girl can dream right?) The sad part is that i considered myself almost a pro at weeding out the guys who i know are a waste of time and those who arent. I had kissed more than my fair share of toads. Like the first time i tried online dating... (Hilarious flashback) I had just started out on this dating app, after getting my heart handed to me extra well done, and i obviously had no clue what i was doing. this kid(i think he lied about his age cause i thought he was 21 or 22, but in person he looked 12) starts chatting with me. We find out that we both liked to smoke and he seemed cool. He wanted to meet and i was lonely and depressed enough that i agreed to let him come over. His profile pics made him look like a redheaded justin beiber and i thought to myself, now brittany, youve never ever had good luck with redheads. But i chose to ignore that side of the brain. He called me unable to find the address so i met him outside. He got out of his car and lets just say, Justin Beiber? not even close. The kid knew that if he did his hair just like beibers in his photos, hed get more girls. But what he didnt realize is that if your going to use that to your advantage, maybe take the time to do it outside of just for your profile pictures. So, he asks what i would like to do, and i can already tell im not going to like this kid. Mainly because he was very indecisive, and i had to eventually tell him what we were going to do because i got tired of getting in and out of his car. So we decide to chill and smoke. My close friends know i can be a bit of a snob when it comes to marijuana. But i was born and raised in california. When your used to the best, other stuff is almost unsmokable. The entire reason i agreed to meet him may have been selfish on my part, he did say he would bring some and i hate smoking alone, so i guess i deserved what happened next. He pulls out his bag and then apologizes because he only brought a nug with him. But after i smelled it and looked at it i told him to forget it and we would smoke what i had. I could tell he was a little immature just from him trying to converse with me. It was obvious he thought this would be a hookup. He was like a teenager on prom night, bouncing around, nervous and looking for an excuse just to touch me. Of course he would be leaving disappointed. Not only was he starting to annoy me, but he brought crappy ass weed to my apartment. If you are a stoner, then you know how insulting that is. Somehow, amid his incessant chatter, a spider had made it to his face and was hanging off his nose. I couldnt stop staring at it! I wondered while he continued to talk, if he felt it at all. I was so fascinated by it i think he finally noticed and tried to slyly wipe at his nose. It took him three tries before he managed to rid himself of the arachnid. And cruelly i had wished it would bite him just so he would leave. As if my lack of effort in his one sided conversation wasnt enough of a clue that i wasnt interested, he then proceeded to sit next to me. He complimented me and then asked if he could kiss me. I didnt even reply before he leaned in and tried to toungue my closed mouth. I couldnt help it, I laughed. It was like kissing a relative. Not in an incestuous way, but in a awkward and not enjoyable in ANY way. I could tell i hurt his feelings when i pushed him away (the laughing part didnt help either) but at that point i was ready to enjoy the rest of the night with my favorite person: me. Luckily he finally got the hint and announced he was leaving because i obviously wasnt into him or having a good time... I was a little taken aback. I didnt think he could tell that i was getting fed up. I felt bad and lied to him, claiming exhaustion was the reason. Well it didnt work so he finally said he was just going to leave. I was too relieved to care. Needless to say i never talked to him again. Not that he didnt try! You would think a guy would take a hint and find someone who actually liked him. But thats what the block button is for, haha. (yes i know im heartless) And that leads us back to rule #1: Dont always expect to see the guy in the profile picture. 9 times out of 10 they took the pic when they were in highschool 5 years ago, or they angle it just right that you cant tell if theyre obese or not (again, not shallow, ive dated guys of all sizes) Or they just dont know how to take pics at all and look terrible in all of them. OR my personal fav, the guess who. (its where most of their pics are of them with other guy friends, most the time hotter friends, so you spend all this time trying to figure out which one is the actual sn: bicycleman007 or some lame shit. Only to spend the next 10 mins scrolling until i finally find an alone shot only to reveal that he wasnt the one on the left that i thought was hot. (ok this thing is getting longer than i thought. Time to wrap it up lol) One last thing that I think is just as important if not more so than rule number one: Rule #2: TRUST YOUR GUT. No exceptions, no excuses. JUST DO IT. 10 times out of 10 my gut has been right. That May be just a tad bit of an exaggeration, but seriously you will not feel guilt or regret when you follow your gut. Everytime i have followed it, I jump up in the air and do a dance because i was right and i did the right thing and felt so amazing afterward. The unfortunate times i failed to listen to that tiny inner voice, ive wanted to kick myself right in the tit. with boots on. But oh well, you live and learn and grow from it. Or vent on a blog with my absurdly long post. (just for those certain opinionated people, im not always right, everyone experiences things differently and in their own way.. this is just my experience. take it or leave it but dont be a douche about it. lol) Well thats it for now, but i will be putting more of my crazy experiences and tips for dating later. -b