#theres just so much to say about the tragedy of their pairing

[fourteentrout]

Azriel had waited. He had waited for five hundred years to find his mate. His equal.

That's the kicker, wasn't it? His equal. How could he find that, when he was Death itself. When he looked into the bloody mouths of his victims, Truth Teller in his grasp, and he could not see anything but his own reflection staring back at him. Built upon fingernails and severed toes, built upon a burst of blue that burnt like fire, built upon a blade that sang when it cut through flesh. Calculated death, something beyond rage, something beyond a quest for justice. Something not borne out of impulse or uncontrolled power, but out of a carefully constructed network of lacerations, each placed with more thought than the last.

What, out there, was equal to that?

Oh, how cruel, he thought.

Is this what it is? Is this what an equal is? Someone with fists wreathed in flame, who could wield what Azriel's hands hadn't been able to survive.

Fire itself mated to the burnt.

Someone tortured, mated to a torturer.

How cruel to him, he thought, flames dancing in his head.

Was it cruelty, though? Or simply justice? That fire lord with lashes across his back was no hero. He was the worst of the worst, and his pain didn't make him any better. It just made him both the victim and the tyrant. It allowed him to play both sides. He himself was cruel.

Eris was nothing like who Azriel had thrown himself at. Eris was unkind, unable to wield his flaming hands with the same delicate niceness of Elain. Eris was a sneaky, manipulative, slithering thing, a stranger to the blunt authenticity of Mor. Eris would never be able to turn to the sunlight the way she did. Eris would never be able to speak with words like honey the way Elain did.

Azriel had never earned those words, anyway.

This is what it is, then, he thought. Two people who got exactly what they deserved. Fated to share something so pure, so clean, with someone who was decidedly not. The thing he had slogged through five centuries of silent desperation for a female who would never love him back for, finally granted to him--only with someone just out of reach. Perhaps, if he wanted, he could reach out a hand.

But he didn't want to. It was easier to stay angry, easier to pretend that he didn't deserve something as honorable as a mating bond, like he had during those five hundred years of waiting.

He did, though. He was getting exactly what he paid for.

His hands were soaked with the blood of a thousand, a hundred thousand, too many for Azriel to feel bad for. Eris' hands burst with the same flame that had once bathed Azriel's own. They delivered each other's scars, Azriel supposed. His mottled skin would be familiar to Eris. How many people has he burned, Azriel wondered. The scars that littered Eris' perfect High Fae body were the same Azriel imparted dutifully upon anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in his chamber. How cruel, to look at the one tied to your soul and see an assignment. The same methodical job he imparted on the prisoners in the dungeons, blanketing the one he was supposed to be able to look at reverently. How could he?

Eris was always a slimy bastard, anyway. Azriel could never love him, just as he would never love Azriel. It was upon principle, more than anything.

And perhaps it was easier that way. Perhaps his hands would thank him, kept safe from the fire that they still shied away from, centuries later.

How cruel, he thought as his chest throbbed with that bond.

Azriel had waited his whole life for something he knew, in his soul, he would never deserve. But of course, the Mother found Her ways. To give him what he wanted more than anything in the world.

To give him something he would never be able to have.

Not when he was one who supplied torture, and his mate was one who received it. Not when he was scarred with burns, and his mate could light the fire with half a thought.

How cruel, he thought, that I could not have been better. That I could not have become someone able to earn something good.

That even the mating bond could be twisted into something to punish him, something to prove his unworthiness. It was right there, and yet he couldn't have it. Would never be able to face that. The fact that he and his mate were everything that had made the other suffer. Why, he wondered, had he wanted it so? Had he not realized that to be granted that, he would have to look into the eyes of another and see himself reflected back? The one person that could break him.

After a lifetime of waiting, he had finally gotten what he wanted. But he had also finally gotten what he deserved.

#azris #i dont know what this is lmao #but like #theres just so much to say about the tragedy of their pairing #something something your equal includes everything youve come to hate about yourself #azriel #azriel x eris #eris #eris vanserra #azriel shadowsinger #my writing #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar drabble #azriel acotar #eris acotar #azriel spymaster

[eomayas]

love without tragedy • jww

pairing: mafia!wonwoo x f!reader

genre: angst, mafia au

synopsis: what is it called when he wont be your boyfriend but acts like he is?

warnings: swearing. mean wonwoo. toxic realtionship. reader is in her early twenties, its unspecified how old wonwoo is but he is older. reader slaps wonwoo

a/n: helloooo i cant get wonu out of my mind so here is a little drabble. he is really mean in this story but thats not how i see my man its just for the purpose of the plot 😭💕

the look he's giving you is enough to make you tremble. you've never felt fear around wonwoo—his job is inherently scary and dangerous, but you've never felt fear of him, though right now that is being put to the test. a cold shiver runs down your spine as he stares at you from across the room. you wish there was an island of distance between the two of you, and not a measly coffee table.

"w-we were j-just dancing," you try, wringing your hands together in front of you. he scoffs through his nose and smirks, but its not sweet. there is malice behind it, like he thinks you're pathetic.

"that's what we're calling it?"

sure, maybe you did do more than dance with jun. maybe he had his hand on your leg and you let him inch it up your dress. and maybe you let him kiss you a couple of times. and sure, they were on the lips, sometimes on the neck. and maybe jun ran in the opposing gang in the city, so you made yourself and your fathers mob a target, which inherently puts wonwoo in the middle of it as well. but can he really blame you? wonwoo won't go out with you, always says its not safe for you to be seen with him. what he's really saying, is that he doesn't want your father—his boss—to find out.

wonwoo stares at you, his nostrils flared and his jaw set. whats making all of this worse, is that he hasn't even yelled yet. anger is practically seeping from his pores, but hes not yelling. "well, you wont go out with me!" you exclaim, throwing your hands up.

"so you go and fuck around with somebody from the other side, all because i wont take you out?" he scoffs at you again as your bottom lip trembles. "you really are a spoiled brat, you know that?"

"don't call me that," you frown at him and he shrugs at you, unfazed by your emotional state and the words he's saying to you. other than the fact that you were kissing the opposition, you don't know why he cares so much—there are plenty of other men that work for your father that can handle this.

"its what you are—you think you can have whatever you want, whenever you want," he says bitterly.

your frown deepens, and you almost threaten telling your father, but you know he'll just call you childish. its what he always does when you two argue about something stupid and you pull the dad card. "you're not even my boyfriend, so i don't know why you give a shit," wonwoos nose twitches at the B-word, and you know you've struck a nerve. if theres a couple ways to get under his skin, its to threaten him with your dad and point out the truth to him. "im not yours to worry about. there are plenty of people who do that anyway."

when he doesnt say anything, you keep going. "and so what if jun is with the other side? he doesn't seem to mind being out with me—something you can't handle! you won't even be my boyfriend, so what i do, and who i do it with, is none of your fucking concern."

"watch your fucking mouth, y/n," you're visibly taken aback at his words and his tone. wonwoo rarely, if ever, swears at you. he'll swear in your everyday conversations, but its never towards you. not even when you swear at him, like right now, does he ever do it back.

staring at him with wide eyes, a million thoughts race through your head, the first one being: when did i start being afraid of him? "dont talk to me like that," you say, a slight tremor in your voice.

"don't pull that card now, you've been cussing at me all night," wonwoo spits, puffing his chest out. "that's that spoiled brat shit i'm talking about! you think the entire fucking world revolves around you, but it doesn't!" you can't handle his sudden change in temperament, and your hands ball into fists at your sides.

"quit fucking talking to me like that."

"i'll talk to you how i want to talk to you-" the slap happens before you even realize what you've done, your feet carrying you over to him on autopilot. its not until you pull your hand away from his cheek that you register what you've done, the hurt on his face.

anger flashes on his features, and you have a split second to panic. you tense up, waiting for him to yell at you, but instead he only takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze away from you. "wonwoo..." you whisper, bringing your finger tips up to touch your lips. a red mark in the vague shape on your hand spreads across his pale cheek, and you swallow the lump in your throat. "wonwoo, i..." you trail off, because you don't know how to finish that sentence—you are far from sorry, feeling vindicated because, in your eyes, he did deserve it.

wonwoo runs a hand over his face and opens his mouth, but rethinks and closes it into a thin line. shaking his head, he shrugs on his jacket and grabs his belongings from your coffee table. he slips past you wordlessly and your eyes trail him as he walks out of your apartment, a sort of darkness settling over the room as you're left to stand alone.

wonwoo doesn't call, and after the fifth day you start to lose your mind. the day after the incident, you hardly thought about him, and when you did, it made you angry. the second day, you started to feel his absence, but it wasn't nearly as violent as it feels right now. the tears started on the third day, and haven't stopped. its only now that the guilt has settled in, your dry phone practically taunting you every time that you touch it.

"kwannie, i miss him!" you moan, burying your face into a pillow and letting out a scream. your best friend, seungkwan, gently pats your head and you sigh, turning your head to the side to look at him. "do you think he'll call?"

seungkwan presses his lips into a line and glances around his bedroom. "y/n, you slapped him," he reminds you, making you wrinkle your nose. "and you haven't apologized yet. i would't want to talk to you either."

"okay, but he deserved it! he was being disrespectful!"

"but you put your hands on him. you should have let, like, mingyu or somebody—if not your dad—deal with him," seungkwan says, referring to another one of your fathers men. and seungkwan is right; even though mingyu and wonwoo are friends, you know that his loyalty to your father comes first, which means that you come first. any of his men could have handled it adequately.

sighing, you sit up and hug the pillow to your chest. "he is so..." you groan into the pillow and hold it there for a few seconds. wonwoo is a piece of work. he's quiet and hard to read at times, and can't always give you a clear answer on what the two of you have. he says things that hurt your feelings. but he's also a confidant, your protector, while being something similar to a boyfriend. you trust him more than you trust yourself at times, and sometimes what you feel for him is so intense you wonder if you're making it all up.

its hard to trace when your realtionship with wonwoo began. you've known him since you were 20 years old, him appearing seemingly out of nowhere one day when you came home for a weekend in college. he introduced himself politely, but hardly asked about you or offered any information about himself. you went back to campus with your brain on him and him only. it wasn't until that summer that you saw more of him, but you two hardly interacted. he was always around but never quite where you needed him. your paths hardly ever crossed, unless it was the rare times you happened to be passing by him in the hallway or kitchen. a few months later, when you were home for winter break, you ran into him early in the morning. you'd just come back from a work out and ran into him in the kitchen. he was leaned up against the island, tapping away on his phone and he looked up when he heard your footsteps. you spoke first, saying good morning and asking him how he’s been. he returned the conversation and from there, every time you saw him you two at least spoke.

from then on, you exchanged numbers. he’d text you sporadically, checking in on you and asking you about your classes, life, etc. the texts turned to phone calls, late into the night when you were tucked in and he was just getting home from whatever job he’d finished. he never really told you what he did, but you knew. when you’d ask, he’d just say he handled something for your father, almost like he was trying to protect you from his reality, but you knew—you’d grown up around this lifestyle from birth. the calls started getting longer too, going from ten minutes, to thirty, and then for an hour, sometimes more. you’d talk about any and everything, so late into the night that you’d hardly get sleep sometimes, nearly missing class or dozing off during lectures. but you didn’t care, as long as you got to talk to wonwoo.

for spring break that year, you didn’t plan to come home, having plans to go out of town with your friends. b ur you cut your trip short by two days, and came home instead. everybody was surprised to see you, especially your father who wasn't expecting you. you just lied and told him you wanted to surprise him, but that was far from the truth. you were itching to see wonwoo, even if only for a few minutes because of his other duties. it was hours before you finally got to see him, and when you did it was late. you were hot tubbing, and you heard the backdoor open, his dark figure emerging. you called out to him and he walked to the edge of the hot tub, squatting down in front of you. your heart was racing as he looked down at you, and you got goosebumps despite being in warm water. not much was said between the two of you, but it was like there was an electric current flowing between the two of you. you asked him about his day, and he gave you the answer he gives you all the time: "it was a day." and then he asked you, and you said: "better." as in, better now that he's here in front of you. you raised your body out of the water a bit, the water coming up to the bottom of you ribcage. wonwoo shamelessly checked you out, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. you moved to the edge of the tub, standing directly in front of him, his eyes darting between your bikini clad chest and your eyes. you stood up taller, this time most of your body coming out of the water, to get as close as possible to his face without touching him. he asked you: "do you know what you're doing?" to which you replied: "im positive i know what i'm doing." and then you kissed him, pressing your wet body against his extremely dry and clothed one, your hands gripping the edge of the hot tub. he kissed you with a hunger that made you breathless, and you gripped the front of his black jacket, nearly yanking him into the hot tub with you. when you pulled back to look in his inky dark eyes, you knew you were a goner.

letting out a breath, you let go and drag your hands over your face, closing your eyes. "i just don't get him sometimes," for nearly two years, you have been playing a sick game of cat and mouse with him. you think you have him, and then he'll say something to remind you that you in fact, don't. but he always has you, as much as it pains you to admit it. "h-he says he can't be my boyfriend. but when i try to go out—if i even look at another man—he goes crazy. kwan, i don't even know how he knew where i was. i didn't tell him i was going out."

seungkwan swallows and avoids your eyes. you glare at him, trying to meet his gaze. "seungkwan."

"yes?"

you hold eye contact for a second before he quickly looks away, and you gasp. "seungkwan, what the fuck!" you shout, jumping off of your bed. he holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide and pleading.

"y/n, i'm sorry! but he called me randomly, and said that you weren't answering! and he knew i wasn't with you because i picked up the phone, and i swear i wasn't going to tell him, but..." seungkwan trails off and you scoff, shaking your head.

"but what?"

"but... you know wonwoo: he's intimidating. and i don't want any problems with him. i'm really sorry, y/n. but i felt like i had no choice."

you frown at seungkwans words, the gears in your head turning. he had no choice? "did he threaten you?" you ask your best friend, your stomach churning. seungkwan... he's not like the rest of them. his father is also a mob leader and does dealing with your own father, which is how you two know each other. he is your longest and first friend. seungkwan isn't involved in any mob activities per his mother, who made it known that his father was not to involve her only son in any of that business. everybody knows to leave seungkwan alone, that he's like you: off limits. but clearly, your not-boyfriend doesn't know the rules.

seungkwan waves vaguely in the air and you see red for a moment before snatching your purse off of the nightstand and pocketing your phone. "y/n, where are you going?"

"i'll be back," is all you say before running out of his house and down to your car, hopping in and speeding the one place you can guarantee to find wonwoo.

pulling up to the club, you swing your car into a spot and scan the parking lot looking for his black mercedes. you spot it glimmering in the evening sun, and scoff before jumping out. you hardly have to talk to anybody when you walk in and make you way to the very back where wonwoo and five of your fathers men do business outside of your house.

a cloud of smoke hits your face when you push the door open, and you scrunch your face up. the first person you come in contact with is joshua, your fathers right hand man who you've known for the greater part of your life. when your father wasn't around, joshua was. he was more like an uncle to you, practically raising you. "hey, princess," he says, a smile on his face.

"where is wonwoo?" you ask, eyes surveying the room. you see mingyu, minghao, jeonghan, and vernon, but not the man you are here for.

"that's how you greet me?" joshua asks, tilting his head to the side. you don't feel like arguing, so you give him a quick hug paired with a kiss on the cheek. "why are you looking for wonwoo?" he asks.

you bite the inside of you cheek, trying to come up with a lie on the fly, until the door to another room opens, and wonwoo emerges buttoning the first three buttons on his shirt, followed by a dancer. your stomach drops, and you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. wonwoo doesn't acknowledge the woman and turns away from her, meeting your eye in the process. guilt and shock pass quickly over his features, before he composes himself and carries on like he didn't see him.

marching over to him, you stand in front of him as he takes a seat on the couch in the room. "wonwoo, we need to talk," you say, putting your hands on your hips. he picks up a glass of brown liquor and drains its remaining contents.

"then talk."

"in private," you say, widening your eyes. he sighs and stands up, starting to walk over to the room he just came out of. "i'm not talking to you in there." you say, a hint of disgust in your voice.

"then talk," he barks, the room quieting down a bit. your face burns in embarrassment, hating the way he's treating you. he stares up at you like there's better things he could be doing, his gaze hard.

"you're such an asshole."

wonwoo shrugs. "oh well."

"you know what, wonwoo? fuck you. i know you threatened boo the other night, so you can just fuck off! you can fuck with me—fine—but leave seungkwan out of it!"

his nose twitches like it did the other night, but this time you don't stick around to wait for him to explode. you leave just as quickly as you'd shown up.

once outside, the tears start. you lean against the side of the building and sob into your hands. you don't know how, or why, for that matter, you let wonwoo treat you this way. but he's not always like this— you've seen sides of him that prove it. but its been nearly two years of push and pull, him doing both the pushing and pulling. he pushes you away while simultaneously pulling you to him. he knows that you'll follow him wherever he goes.

#svt x you #svt imagines #svt x reader #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo angst #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo scenarios

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Karasuno

a/n: oh dear. hello everyone. i am back, gigi is back and this is the newest installment of the manager series :))) i hope you guys like it and sending much love!!! <3

a/n: have fun :)

mm okay so this is a new series

or season?

the series is the managers and this is a new season because this is karasuno’s manager!!! :)))) 

everyone say hi!!!

she’s a wittle first year and shes a cute little thing but she got the energy of a rabid chihuahua

so this is how it you came to be

when mommy and daddy love each other very much-

hehe i kid i kid

but srsly, the whole bird and bees thing

and then boom, you were attending middle school in hyogo

you were a first year that was taken in by a pair of twins that were your neighbors

the miyas

miya osamu <3

and

miya atsumu >:3

they were what got you into volleyball in the first place even though you were more into soccer like your papa and even talked you into being their team’s manager

so here you were, freshly turned 12 (because you were the youngest of your entire grade) and suddenly responsible for a bunch of older kids

the coach helped you too of course but it was a lot of work and so when the twins left and you became a third year, you were practically a know-it-all with volleyball

flying receives?

jump serves?

you learned from the best B)

however,

when you were about 3 months into being in high school and as their current manager at inarizaki,

tragedy struck.

see, your parents were often out of town and tended to go overseas for business but when a plane that they were on crashed causing their death, you had no choice but to be taken in by your next of kin which was your uncle down in miyagi

he was your mom’s cousin but she practically saw him as her brother and you didnt really talk to him very much, apart from the times your mom called him and a few sentences of greetings were exchanged, but you knew who he was because your mom was close to him

duh, you were grieving and loss is such a hard thing to go through

the miya twins were there for you the whole time, even when they were busy

i mean like you lived at their house because you couldn’t stand being in the same home that you once shared with your parents

they didnt take it very well when you had to leave but they understood as long as you promised to come visit them soon so you get to see them play on the big stage

:’)

so here you were, on the train en route to miyagi where your uncle was supposed to be waiting for you

the time on your phone blared that it’s been nearly 5 hours and you’re supposed to be approaching the prefecture now

you’ve taken the train by yourself before but it still doesn’t make it any less nerve-wracking because one, you’re alone and two, theres a lot of people

you didnt really do well with a lot of people nor the anxiety that bubbles in you whenever you stuck in a place for a very long time

it doesn’t help that the worst thing to ever happen has happened

eventually, the conductor went around and it was announced that you have arrived so you quickly grabbed your backpack and your duffel bag before rushing to grab the one large suitcase that was at the back of your compartment

the rest of your luggage and clothing was already taken to miyagi when your uncle drove all the way to hyogo to pick it up so you wouldn’t be inconvenienced during your way there

hes so sweet

you pulled the handle and gripped it, nerves eating you away and sleep pulling behind your eyes but you couldnt sleep

you didnt want to

the doors opened and you hurried out, getting past the many people and you saw the familiar hair of your uncle

his bleached hair was pulled back into a baby ponytail and his headband kept stray hairs from clouding his eyes

‘y/n-chan!’ he shouted and waved

you cringed at how zealous he was and the attention he was receiving from strangers so you hurried over to him

he rushed to give you a hug as if you didnt just see him a few days ago

‘oji’ you mumbled in greeting and he pulled back, giving you a wide grin

‘man! i can’t believe you’re as tall as my shoulders! before, you were still a tiny little baby that was smaller than my arm!’

you turned red and began to pull him to go home because he was attracting many stares from blushing ladies

sigh

you guys reached his cute yellow car and piled your suitcase and duffel bag in the back so the two of you could settle in the front seats

he started the car and drove off the parking lot and into the streets

wow, it doesnt look very different to hyogo

‘how are ya, y/n-chan?’

his tone was softer and you turn to look at him

he was focused on the road but it definitely sounded like his mind was somewhere else and he was trying to concentrate on talking to you

‘’m okay’ you mumbled

he was there during the funeral and the only one to attend since your grandfather and aunt was in the middle of recovering from their surgery and your other family members had other obligations

as if this wasn’t more important 

but he was there and you couldn’t be more thankful enough

you were only 15

you don’t know how to plan a funeral and a burial by yourself

not to mention their will and the passing on of their estate 

like bruh thats stuff that you have no idea on what to do with

so keishin was there to help you sort it out and meeting with legal attorneys and you were lucky that he always made sure that you understood what they were saying and making sure with you that whatever you decided is your choice and it shouldn’t be influenced by him or the lawyers

keishin is worried about you a lot since it happened and didn’t even want to go back to miyagi afterwards but his store needed to be opened and he doesn’t have anyone else to run it apart from his mother, who he really doesn’t want moving around since she also just got knee surgery

‘are you sure? you know i’m here when you need to talk. i lost her too so i understand most than anyone’

he quietly comforted you and your nose began to sting as a signal from the incoming tears but you looked out the window and to the trees that you passed by

‘i dont want to’ you whispered to him and keishin nodded

he won’t force you but just to let you know that he was there and will always be there

you two drove in a comfortable silence and you arrived at his family home where you will be staying

‘this is where your ma grew up. its a shame she never brought you or your pops down to visit but it can’t be helped. your grandma is in there sleeping right now so its best you keep the noise down a bit but im sure she’ll be excited to see you, kid’

you got settled into the house quickly and keishin’s mom who you could call as your aunt was very excited to see you and you smiled and hugged her and stuff

apparently your grandpa was helping some friend with his rice farm and such

sigh. you remember kita-senpai so that made you sad

since you just got there, they gave you some time to adjust like a month off of school

but you come to find out that you were enrolled in a nearby school, karasuno, which was somehow associated with your uncle

keishin attended there too when he was young and so did your mom but was now the volleyball team’s coach

you were a little >:\ because you wanted to stay in hyogo with the twins but you knew that you needed to be taken cared of right now

you were still young and even now, grieving is a process that would be easier with family

keishin got you all set for your first day and you had to hide a laugh at how excited he was when he gave you your uniform

‘its like sending off my own kid to school!’

gosh he gives such dad vibes now

your first day!!!!

of course keishin got you a little whiteboard that says first day of high school written on it and he told you to stand in front of the door so he could take a picture

even his ma was giggling behind him while you were red at the amount of attention he was giving to this entire ordeal

‘come on! here’s your lunch and some allowance to get something good at the vending machine. i would’ve sent you off myself but i got a delivery for the store. you remember how to get there right? if not, you got the directions in your notes?’

you rolled your eyes playfully

‘yes, oji. me gots it’

keishin actually walked you to the school a few days ago to teach you the way there and my gosh hes adorable

you tightened the straps of your backpack and hugged your grandma and grandpa before venturing out

it was so quiet

the neighborhood that you lived in was the kind where old people lived so there was no sound of students talking amongst themselves

but about 5 minutes into your walk, you found a pair of students, boys, who were going to the same direction you were in

one had his headphones over his ears and the other was talking to him like he didn’t see the headphones at all

you could only see the back of their heads and noticed that the one who was talking had dark green hair and was shorter than the one wearing the headphones, who was blonde and was really, really tall

the only person was omimi-senpai

and that dude had to be around his height

you had your earbuds in so you couldn’t exactly hear what they were saying but you were just walking along and absorbing the scenery instead of hurrying to class

then the tall blonde guy stopped walking but you were too busy at looking around you to notice that he stopped so you bumped into his back and made a noise of surprise

duh the first thing to come out of your mouth was an apology

‘sorry!’

bro it wasn’t your fault that this dude just stopped out of nowhere

but this guy turned his head around at you and met your eyes

you shivered, scared at his glare at you 

‘’m sorry’

you apologized again by bowing and walking around him to prevent anymore accidents

you weren’t gonna make a big deal about it because it was just an accident but you were afraid he was going to yell at you or something

instead of trying to have a peaceful walk, you were speed-walking to the school and even got lost once since you turned at a wrong street

but dw dw you just had to call keishin in a panic and after laughing, he helped you back to your destination

even google maps didn’t help you bruh

gigi fact: i went to dublin and was looking for nandos and we were walking but the gps thing didnt work correctly so we walked in circles around the city without ever finding nandos

in the end, gigi never got her nandos

anyways!

you went to the little office they got in the front of the school and you smiled at the lady

‘hi, ma name is l/n y/n’

she looked at you and nodded

‘new student?’

duh

but you nodded

‘id please?’

you fumbled in your bag and found your old inarizaki id because all of your other important ids were with keishin

lowkey kinda scary but maybe i just got trust issues

it seemed like it was good enough for her so she quickly typed something in the computer and after many clicks later, she got up to get something from the printer and returned with your schedule and what looks like a card

an id?

she noticed you staring at the identification card

‘it seems a relative of yours with the name of ukai keishin sent your information from inarizaki high, if im correct, and with it, your school picture so we just transferred it over to our database and printed your school id from there’

you let out a small sigh of relief that you dont gotta take a picture and you thanked her then grabbed your things

class 1-4 huh?

you wandered around and found out that the layout of the school was like inarizaki with the third floor being for first years and the second for the second years and so on

but you hate stairs

so you were kinda already dying when you made it up to your floor and by this time, students were already arriving

you obviously felt out of place and even when you started high school back in hyogo, you were already friends with some people in there and with the help of the twins, you were a bit well-known already

but here

you were a total stranger

a background character

an uneasy feeling crept into your stomach but you inhaled and exhaled before walking to the room that was labeled ‘1-4’ 

in an instant, several pairs of eyes were on you

everyone wasn’t there yet but enough that you wanted to crawl into a hole and die

who needed school anyways?

the twins already promised you a future where you don’t gotta work so it doesn’t matter

speaking of, they were messaging you now with how your phone was vibrating and you hurriedly ran to a chair in the back of the room to avoid any more attention

you pulled your phone out and stopped a smile from creeping into your face

it was mainly atsumu sending crying emojis while osamu was fussing over the fact that you only packed some sandwiches for lunch but you were quick to calm down his concerns by telling them that you were gonna get some snacks from the vending machine

sigh

you miss them

a lot

if you were back in hyogo, they would already be in your class, annoying the ever loving god outta you along with the other guy in osamu’s class, suna

atsumu is actually in a class higher than his brother and he continues to use that as a bragging thing

but you really do miss them

it feels like something is missing

but you weren’t allowed to be in your feels for too long because you felt someone looming over you to your right and looked up to see the tall guy from earlier, golden-brown eyes piercing straight to you

you didnt do the whole gasping thing like they do in mangas but you did freeze

he was definitely going to pick you up and throw you outta the window beside you bruh

pray for me

gigi: im praying for you sis

‘can i help ya?’ you asked because we aint here to be stuttering and stammering like little anime girls

but you were still scared lmao

he looked down at you with a cold glare

‘youre in my seat’

goddammit y/n

of course you were

just your luck

y/n things, you know?

but you looked at him dumbly 

‘yer wha?’

maybe it was because you were scared of him that you didnt fully process his question 

but he leaned down at you, glasses shining for effect

‘you’re in my seat, shorty’

he repeated but with an edge this time

yea no you clearly heard that

so you grabbed your bag and stood up, hurrying out of the room

maybe you can go back home and tell keishin you weren’t feeling good and you didnt wanna be here

that could work

so you were standing outside of your class, away from the windows because duh the entire class saw the whole thing and you didnt want them to watch you like thats so embarrassing lmao

your fingers were typing a message to keishin but before you could hit send, you hear someone stop in front of you

you looked up and was met with a man who was quite short but you could tell he was a teacher

god, if hes your homeroom teacher-

‘oh? are you the new student? i’m your homeroom teacher, takeda ittetsu’

the lord just aint on your side isn’t he?

you stared at him with this grim look in your face that his brows were furrowed with concern

‘are you okay?’

you nodded, swallowing and looking to the side

he just nodded along and gestured to enter the room

you cursed in your head but followed him, surprised that everyone was already there

did they just appear there out of thin air?

or were you really that out of it to notice people walking in

‘everyone, we have a new student today. she is a transfer from hyogo so if you could please, welcome her to our school. would you like to introduce yourself?’

if takeda-sensei didnt have such a nice look on his face, you woulda bolted outta there

but also, that would be embarrassing if you just ran out

so you nodded and looked ahead, remembering atsumu’s advice

just look at the wall and tune everything and everyone else out

‘’m l/n y/n and ‘m from inarizaki high school. let’s get along’

ugh, awkward introductions were never my thing nor have i ever transferred during a school year either so idk man

takeda directed you to a seat by the windows and was in the middle of the rows so you were ahead of the tall scary guy

but my god, you felt his stare the entire time

by the time lunch rolls around, you were already ready to go home

you were messaging the twins and suna of what was happening and they all petitioned for you to move back home and into the miya household

osamu: in favor of y/n moving and staying with us, say i

atsumu: Iiiii would like that

suna: *hand raising emoji* i

*cue tears forming in your eyes*

they were so cute

but you were distracted from your phone when a bunch of students started whispering around you and you looked up to see a really really pretty girl at the doorway of your classroom

and she was looking directly at you

aint no way

you havent been here but only a few hours

how have you already made beef with people?

she saw that you were looking at her and after a split-second eye contact, she was already walking towards you before stopping beside your desk

‘can i help ya?’ you asked again, feeling deja vu

man, pretty people were really freaking scary

then she smiled 

small, but still a smile

‘i’m shimizu kiyoko, third year. i’m also the manager of the boys’ volleyball club’

ah! the club that your uncle coaches

so you felt a little better about that so you gave her a small smile back

‘o, ma uncle’s the coach. didja need’m?’

she shook her head and you could swear there were flowers radiating from her right now

‘actually, no. the third years would like to meet you and i was sent to collect you’

*cue the suspicious eye brow raise*

like we as the watchers know kiyoko is the absolute sweetest angel to ever exist but in a realistic point of view, this was still kinda sussy you know?

she saw the hesitation 

‘the team wants to meet you but that might be a lot for you so we thought it was okay for the third years to meet you instead. if you would like, you could call your uncle and see if it’s okay’

nah, you werent taking any chances so you hurriedly whipped out your phone and pressed 1

since he was in your emergency contact :’)

‘oji, theres dis really pretty lady who says shes the manager of yer team’

‘mhm. mhm. shimizu kiyoko’

‘ahhh, okei okei.’

you ended the call and looked at her before standing up

‘lead the way’

she brought you down many stairs and into a secluded little hallway of the third year floor

you were a bit scared so you were walking a little bit behind her but saw 3 figures at the end, just talking and one leaning out of the open window

they saw the two of you and perked up

‘oh hey! you must be coach’s niece!’

the one with grey hair raised a hand

‘yo’ you timidly greeted

the one with the man bun understood your shyness and gave you a small smile

‘azumane asahi’ he extended a hand and you were surprised at how soft his voice was

‘i’m sugawara koshi but feel free to call me suga-senpai!’ he gave you a peace sign that initially made you cringe but quickly found endearing

he seemed really nice

then the last one with the short black hair gave you a smile

‘i’m the captain of the team. sawamura daichi’

ahhh so he was the captain

well, he was no kita-san but they had the same vibe

the same aura

that authoritative and leading aura

they were quick to ask you questions and get to know you better and such

then the bell rang and the older boys bid farewell to you guys while kiyoko was gonna walk you back to your class

not like you were completely lost or anything

but as you walked, she asked you a question

‘y/n, would you like to be a manager? i’m graduating next year and i worry that we won’t have a new one to replace me’

you looked at her in surprise

did someone say something about you being a manager in your old school?

you blinked

‘me?’

she nods, softly

‘you know our coach already and the third years too. it wouldn’t be too hard to be friends with the others but i do admit they’re quite rambunctious’

it might sound like shes complaining but you turn and see her with a smile

‘do ya think i can do it?’

theres that underlying fear

you werent very social and you werent outgoing enough to make friends with anyone and everyone

back home, you had the twins who weaseled you in to the team in middle school and high school

but now, you were completely alone and you had no one, essentially

so yea youre kinda scared lmao

she hums

‘would you like to see first? you dont have to do anything’

you still hesitate

but maybe you can just sit there and see how it goes 

you could even walk home with your uncle afterwards and with him, you know you wouldnt get lost

so you nod and you were sent back to class which ended really quickly now that you got something to look forward to later

kiyoko picked you up from your classroom since she knew you werent sure where everything was and she asked you to wait outside a room while she got changed to her manager uniform

you were familiar of the manager uniforms since you had to wear it at junior high and high school too

you even still have your familiar red inarizaki jacket but you were too emotional to wear it nor did you want to wear another school’s jacket

kiyoko smiled when she saw you leaning against the wall after she came out and nudged you

‘follow me?’

you nodded, blinded by both her beauty and her striking white teeth

she made small talk with you along the way like how your first day was and if you liked miyagi 

she also asked about where you were from and hyogo

‘i managed ma school’s volleyball team too’

her eyes widened at that revelation

‘did you really? then you know how to do these things then!’

you smiled at her but didnt really answer

the two of you were nearing the gym and could hear the squeaks of shoes against the floor and the balls that were smacking against the walls

hehe

she opened the door and you heard shouts of her name before they saw you based on their silence

you observed the gym and noticed many heads, including the tall scary guy from your class

your brows furrowed when your eyes landed on him but he only looked at you with a blank expression

the third years already knew you so they were giving you a smile 

daichi, if you remember correctly, walked up to you and raised a hand

'hey, y/n! glad you could make it!'

you nodded

'shes just observing today, if thats okay?'

daichi lit up and clapped his hands

'of course! feel free to sit over there at the stage, y/n'

the gym wasnt like inarizaki where they had bleachers

it was just a metal box with a stage at the other side 

but before you could go, 3 people bounded up to you

one with orange hair

one with a buzzcut

and another with a bleached fringe

omg tsumu?

they looked at you with wonder

daichi noticed them and quickly put an arm in front of you

'everyone! this is l/n y/n, shes coach's niece and shes simply observing today. please be kind to her'

he pointedly looked at the meme trio and they shrunk back with a pout

but you grinned and raised a peace sign

'yo'

they immediately introduced themselves to you with hinata, noya, and tanaka being the very outgoing ones and hinata being the one who was in your year while the other two were second years

you also met the quieter and softer second years: ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita who shot you apologetic smiles after they saw the surprised and overwhelmed look you got after the trio talked your ear off

‘sorry about them. they can be a handful’

ennoshita apologized but you waved a hand around

‘don’ mind! don’ mind!’

and you met the other first years

the tall scary guy was tsukishima kei and the one who was walking next to him with the green hair this morning was yamaguchi and was strikingly opposite to his best friend

he had freckles and an adorable smile

‘hi, i’m yamaguchi tadashi’

he introduced himself with a bashful smile

your heart exploded with how cute he was and nodded before sticking a hand out for him to shake

‘l/n y/n’

then the last team member you were introduced to was kageyama tobio

he is a first-year setter with dark blue hair and seemed to have a hobby of bickering the with the tangerine

he was kinda quiet and a bit awkward with introducing himself but it cant be helped that people were awkward you know?

in a way, he reminded you of sunarin

sigh

you miss them

but once you were introduced to everyone, you simply sat on the edge of the stage and watched them practice

duh, you just met them so you werent gonna have an automatic friendship with any of them but it didnt mean that you were a stranger to them

your uncle did eventually arrive and he already knew that you met kiyoko and the others but he wasnt really sure if you were gonna be there at practice so he was still surprised to see you

keishin would look at you often just to check if you were uncomfortable but he saw some sort of light in your expression, a sense of excitement and longing

he knew that you were a part of a volleyball club in hyogo too since he met the twins in the midst of moving your stuff

so he knew that you had a connection to volleyball

which is why he dropped the hint to the third years and shimizu about possibly recruiting you as a manager for the team

once nightfall breaks and it was finally dark, everyone clapped as a signal that practice was over

you felt bad just watching them clean up so you jumped off the stage to pick up the stray balls and helping them dismantle the net as much as you could

‘y/n, here’s the cart’

shimizu gently said and you smiled before pushing it yourself and dropping the balls in as you went

she watched you with a soft gaze and she was looking forward to training you

she feels that she made the right choice

keishin rounded them up as a meeting before leaving and announced to stop by the store to get some ice pops as a treat for their hardwork today

you connected to the meme trio since they had an energy that reminded you of your friends back home and how lively they were

hinata and you bounced off each other effortlessly and you animatedly spoke to him the entire walk to the store

did you know where you were going?

no

but you were just following along with everyone else

‘ah, now we got two shortys to worry about’

tsukishima remarked from behind you and both you and hinata gave him a glare

‘rude’

hinata huffed and you nodded

‘its like i can never escape ya, tsukishima. are ya stalkin me?’

you teased and he rolled his eyes before shoving your shoulder lightly

‘dont be so vain, shrimp. maybe its because we live in the same area and go to the same school. its just a maybe though’

okay, hes sarcastic

keishin opened the door to the store and you greeted your auntie who was looking after it for the time

hinata wanted to get some chips but you wanted a drink so you went to the fridges in the back causing kageyama to follow you too

you noticed him stand beside you, looking at the contents of the fridge and you gave him a sideways smile

kageyama turned his head a bit when he saw you and nodded stiffly before opening and reaching for his milk

how cute

you grabbed your f/d and met up with everyone at the front

the third years were fussing over the meme trio while the second years were watching with an amused smile

your uncle stood beside you and nudged your arm

‘so? you okay with this?’

you looked at him and smiled softly

‘its fun’

yea keishin hasnt really seen you smile like that and he felt a warmth surge in his chest

he wanted to make sure you could start over here and help you move on from what happened

this is the first step to doing so

daichi waved you over and suga patted your head as he began to talk to you

you met keishin’s eyes and he nodded

that night, you were on a group facetime with your friends

tsumu: oi, y/n! ya better not be replacin’ us!

osamu: oh, shaddup, tsumu. nothin’ wrong with making friends yanno

sunarin: how is it there? are you getting along with them? are they nice to you?

y/n: ‘m kinda scared to start over but i’ll do ma best

and thus, started your little adventures with karasuno volleyball team

for like a week, you followed kiyoko everywhere and just watched what she did

you found out that you needed to be in a club as a first year from your homeroom teacher who also coincidentally is the advisor for the team

he was so nice omg

as the days went past, you were quickly warming up to the boys and it was like you were back on the groove that you’ve lost

as a manager, you knew that you needed to be responsible while also being a friend to them

you helped kiyoko with the note taking and doing errands with her to ease the burden on her shoulders while also making plans to hang out with the people in the team

it helped that you were also skilled in doing some medical things so you would be on stand-by with the first aid kit just in case someone did something

but when kageyama and hinata start fighting, you just avert your eyes and pretend your didnt see anything

the third years love you since you were a quick learner and you already knew what to do and what to expect during practices and such

the second years were a bit scared that you would be like the meme trio but they found you were actually not that rowdy and they often stand by you to just talk

sigh, why must they always be benched bruh

you were close with them and because they were your senpais, they would also help you with your studies and tutor you

the meme trio thought of you as another goddess with their kiyoko-senpai but hinata and you just clicked so well together

i mean like yall make jokes and be the only ones that laugh at it

kageyama is more distant and reserved from you mainly because thats just how he is but he does start warming up to you in ways like asking if you would help bandage his fingers and such

and sometimes, you grab him his milk before going to school and surprise him with it 

very very cute things

gosh, dont get me started on tadashi

you got permission to call him tadashi btw

he is so adorable like help he is so cute

like yall are in the same class and you both talk to each other a lot during lunch since you have now joined their little group (much to tsukishima’s dismay) and you guys get along with your similar interests

but gosh, now we get to tsukishima

this dude cannot seem to forget about your bumping into him and taking his seat during your first day

‘gosh, shorty. remember when-’

‘tsukishima, shaddup!’

he loves and i mean LOVES to tease the ever loving life outta you bro like you cannot seem to escape it

and during practices, he will make little remarks to anger you or tick you off 

like when youre on your toes just to reach for something in the storage room, he would somehow know you were in trouble and would make a comment

‘it wouldnt be a problem if you werent so short, chibi’

you turn to him with a glare

‘are ya gonna stand there an’ jus’ keep yappin’ like a chihuahua or are ya gonna help me like a normal human bein’?’

he laughs before huffs and grabs the cone for you but not without accidentally dropping it on your head

‘ah, whoops’

‘yer such a bully, tsukishima’

these boys adore your accent!!!!!!

so it seems that they do have an accent here too but its so faded out and its like a normal tokyo accent but gosh, you were raised in hyogo and your kansai accent is strong asf

and unfortunately i do not speak japanese so i cant explain it directly but theres certain ways that you speak that they find so endearing

like you were rushing to the gym since you were late to their practice because obe-sensei held you up with some sort of issue with your assignment

you were huffing and puffing as you stumbled into the gym and they worriedly asked you where you were and if you were okay

but you were just grumbling since you were frustrated

‘obe-sensei was goin’ on an’ on ‘bout somethin’ so not related ta the homework like didja need ta tell me ‘bout yer dog?! ugh god get the hint why dontcha?!’

you were so cute

like hearing you rant was so adorable and they were blushing at how cute you sounded just now

then training camp starts and you, along with the others, meet nekoma

AHH it was intense and you met the rooster head and kenma too

kuroo looked at you intensely before he lit up, startling you while you were taking notes

‘can i help ya?’

you ask and he chuckled

‘thats where i saw you! youre the girl in suna’s phone!’

you turn red at the mention

help that was so random why did he just say that

‘wha?’

kuroo laughed

‘man! now i remember!’

‘what’re ya sayin’, kuroo-san?’

you press on

‘kenma! come over here!’

he yelled for the bleached hair setter who cringed at the mention of his name and how loud it was yelled but still walked over, eyes glued to his phone

‘what is it?’ his soft voice fills the space

‘you remember the inarizaki trio right? the ones that bokubro brought to our last hang out?’

kenma looked up at kuroo with a furrowed brows

‘huh?’

kuroo rolled his eyes

‘you know, the training camp and how we met that one school in hyogo and we ended up hanging out after?’

‘ah, the twins’

‘same thing. anyways! you remember the middle blocker? i thought you had beef with him at first but you got along with him’

‘ah, suna’

‘yea him! y/n-chan is the girl on his lockscreen, right?’

kenma looked at you, eyes fixing itself on your face as if he was committing your face to his memory

‘uh, wha?’

you ask again

bruh youre the emoticon O.O

then he nodded

‘mhm’

you turned red, freezing and voices tuned out and your team was worriedly asking if you were okay but nah, not really

HAHA ENOUGH OF THAT

because of how young you are, the third years tend to treat you like you were a baby and at first it bothered you with how caring they were since you didnt really know them that well and they were already taking care of you

there was still some underlying trauma from your parents death that haunts you

the guys dont know what happened or anything like that because obviously that was your business and nobody else’s

all they know is that you were from hyogo and transferred over here to miyagi and now live with your uncle

one day, you got a phone call from the legal attorneys with them explaining that all of the stuff was being finalized and you were finally finished with the longest months of your life

it was during a school day and you needed absolute privacy so you were at the back of the gym since one, the rooftop had too many cliche stuff happen up there and there has to be someone that could go up there and two, the volleyball gym wasnt exactly a popular hangout spot for anyone and three, the back of it was rarely visited by any of your team members and most of them would be in class anyways so they wouldnt be here unless they were skipping

but anyways

you were pacing behind the gym with your phone pressed to your ear

‘if you have any other questions, ms. l/n, feel free to call us okay? again, we are very sorry for your loss and offer our utmost condolences. there is always light in the darkness’

‘yes, thank you. goodbye’

you mumbled before they hung up and you stopped, harshly biting your lips with tears brimming your eyes and fists clenched around your phone at your sides

this was it

everything was done

you should be relieved, there was no more issues or legalities left to worry about

so why do you feel so empty?

as messed up as it was, those stresses and problems were the last of what connected you to your parents

and now that it was finished, it felt like that connection was gone

you sucked in a breath harshly, trying to not cry and make yourself calm down but you couldnt, sobs escaping you

:( 

you harshly wiped your eyes and kept breathing in and out to stop yourself

‘l/n?’

someone’s voice called out to you from way in front of you so you looked up and saw

kageyama?

his eyebrows were furrowed like usual but there wasnt a trace of annoyance like there usually was

instead, there was concern

‘ah’

you mumbled before shakily sighing and breathing for a second before looking up at him

even with your puffy eyes and red face with tear tracks down your face, you still smiled at him

‘wha’s up, kageyama?’ you question and he sighed a bit

‘what happened? are you okay?’

he approached you cautiously but you nodded

‘yea, ‘m fine. really’

he didnt believe you but didnt say anything, continuing to look at you

your eyes glaze over and you looked down

‘please, don’ give me yer pity’

you whisper

kageyama’s eyes widens

‘huh?’

‘i don’ need pity, kageyama’

there was no malice or anger in your voice, just a little tone of embarrassment peaking through

kageyama understood

pride

he was the same way

he was prideful and would rather die than someone seeing him so vulnerable and much less, crying his heart out

especially to someone he knew personally

so he understood

and he also understood grief

no one knew anything about your past as their coach always remained tight-lipped about it

but he did hear from some gossip from his mother with the coaches in the area that the old coach ukai’s granddaughter died

were you somehow connected to that?

oh, the current coach ukai was your uncle so it had to be you

you looked at kageyama and you saw a flash of understanding

did he know?

kageyama turned to lean against the wall

‘would you like me to leave you alone? i promise i won’t say anything to anyone’

his gruff voice sounded gentle and you looked up at him

‘yer a good person, kageyama. but, ‘m okay’

there was definitely an odd aura in the gym today and you and the coach were acting weird but everyone didnt want to be involved in familial business so they left it alone

but kageyama was paying attention to you more than usual and running to you to be bandaged up

they were even shocked when he patted your head

trust me, kageyama shocked himself too

the entire time, the team were trying to make you laugh and doing more jokey things

they wanted to cheer you up and daichi suddenly remembered, in the midst of closing up and cleaning up

he got you a surprise before they were starting to do the interhighs and he ran to the storage room, everyone watching him intently

‘daich-san?’ you asked when he came out and walked towards you with his hands behind him

daichi smiled softly before presenting you a clothing

is that

‘welcome to karasuno high school volleyball club!’

they shouted and you looked at them with wide eyes, tears once again in your eyes but this time, they were kinda happy tears

you looked to the side to shimizu and she gave you a rare wide smile and your uncle too

what is this feeling

so familiar but so strange since you havent felt it in a very long time

‘thank you!’

you shouted with them and bowed to keep your tears hidden

you all went to your family’s convenience store to celebrate and when you and keishin got home, he pulled you to a hug

‘we’re here now, y/n. not just me, but the team too’

that night, you once again facetimed the trio and they saw how grinny you were

tsumu: ei, why’re ya lookin’ like that?

y/n: tsumu, rude!

osamu: yea, did somethin’ happen?

you shake your head

y/n: the volleyball team here is really nice

tsumu: ahhh, yer really replacin’ us now!!!! what would kita-san say hm?!

osamu: here ya go again with your jealousy

while the twins bickered, suna gave you a gentle smile

suna: something good happened right? i havent seen you smile like that in a while

y/n: yea. i just…

you trail off, eyes wandering to the black karasuno jacket hanging there beside your red inarizaki one

y/n: its not startin’ over. its jus’ startin’ a new part of ma life. and i think ‘m ready to do it.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #karasuno #karasuno x reader #karasuno imagines #karasuno manager #karasuno headcanons #karasuno fluff #haikyuu fluff

[gokartkid]

do you have any thoughts on the trend from some fic recently to always make alex "less than" his partner? he either retired early, gave up on karting, never raced, or any other scenario you can think of. it happens in aus too, where he's the failed artist or whatever. it seems very unfair given he's one of the most motivated drivers on the grid and reeks like implicit bias, but maybe i'm reading into it too much 🤷

omg i DO think about this all the time anon!!!! ur so smart. i will give my little thoughts. (under the cut, it got long lmfao)

i think there are a lot of things to consider here. theres the career based angle, where alex DID get dropped from rbr, spend a year out, come back in a williams, which surface level leads to this failed-at-something image right. i think that does lead to a (sad) characterisation that doesnt look at his motivations/drive like this is the guy that in F2 didnt know if hed be ABLE to race….literally race by race contract! he HAD to place. (and he did!) so that... for me, is important to remember when i write alex.

and then i think re: implicit bias, with how white f1/f1blr is i am always thinking about the white/non-white ship impacts.

it kind of gets meta because what we’re doing all the time is basing our portrayals off of the media that is portraying THEM right….  and its like if they are already approaching alex in a racially biased way (which: think the yuki effect of oh just a silly no commitment guy) (media is also rlly good at doing this in not-obvious ways if u are not looking for it) then obviously that trickles down into fic… inevitably! the media was incredibly cruel to alex when he was in rbr. compare that to georges williams-to-mercedes treatment, to charles in sauber and ferrari... yeah.

characterisation is never going to be perfect! its just fic! i think where it becomes dicey is if your characterisation relies on racial tropes that ur implicitly feeding into LIKE asian people not being seen as emotionally vulnerable compared to their white counterparts, like ignoring the ways that alex IS a very hard worker (think the spreadsheets! the amount of work he did as a reserve!) (what im rlly saying is taking a look at why you find a narrative of alex failing interesting, is not a bad thing. why is it not compelling to think of alex as the winner and the other person as the loser? etc.)

like for instance in chalex/galex/wotever alex ship, when its the other person being overly emotional, or needing emotional support, it is interesting! because why is alex the manic pixie dream girl esque guy? why is he the one fixing them/causing growth in them etc. at perhaps a lack of his own growth?

on a personal level, whenever i write alex i find it the most compelling if he IS at his low, of having maybe failed, right, but always paired with him working and striving towards something more, showing that he has that ability.

the tragedy isn't that he failed because of his OWN shortcomings, the tragedy is that he HAS what it takes and yet nothing aligned to allow him to show that.  

#asks #this is sooo long sorry HAHAHHA

[wormstar]

Could you give your thoughts on firestar x ravenpaw? You have never mentioned anything about it as far as I can remember, but you seem to reaĺly like it based on the ship tierlist.

oh yeah i dont have as much to say about it as uhhh tallbark or blueyellow or whatever the hell else i pegged there its mostly a matter of me not liking most other firestar pairings and finding ravenbarley very cloistered (not a bad thing in itself btw i like the way barley works as an archetype. theres simply not much meat on the bone) hence fireraven is interesting to me just because its on higher flooring inherently imo

i just think its cool in terms of "firestar is a kittypet who ascended into leadership and is basically starclans favorite favorite boy" and "ravenpaw is a former clan cat whos found fulfillment in an outsiders life though still feels indebted to his former way of life" something about their paths diverging but in the end they have this same cosmic concept of serving the clans imbued into them. like firestar went out of his way to seek out ravenpaw and barley at times just to ask for their advice and the two have always gone forth and aided him out of nothing but devotion. and the reason im interested in ravenpaw specifically is because he had that connection to firestar as an apprentice so it feels more personal i guess. i also just think the weird tragedy that comes with the territories moving and hence firestar never seeing this guy he maybe had feelings for ever again is fun.

#much more simply i like the bits in tpb where fireheart visits ravenpaw and barley and they talk about shit. #though theyre detached from the clans they get what theyre like and i like that firestar finds their perspective worthwhile. i think #in theory the idea of two characters who know of clan life yet critique it from a place of seclusion would be a well done story opportunity #unfortunately this is warrior cats and theres only a hint of that characterisation in ravenpaw and barely. #i havent read their novellas/mangas either im confident they butchered that lens entirely but whatever. #rambling

[kineko-fab]

What are your favorite FOB songs? I've always liked Thnks fr th Mmrs, Just One Yesterday, and The Last Of The Real Ones, but I admittedly am a radio-listening normie so I only know a small selection of their songs ^^"

vees my dear friend vees im gonna write so many words now thank you TL;DR heres a list of my faves and me only letting myself choose my top 2 from each album. i do not talk about EVERY song on this list but i talk about a lot

FUTCT

Lawyer sued

Dance

Sugar goin down

Get Busy

XO

IOH

Arms Race

Lawyer (Me & You)

Hum Hallelujah

Golden

Thnks

(After) Life

Bang

Fame

Crashing

FAD

Disloyal order

I dont care

Headfirst

(Shipped)

[Coffee]

What A Catch

W.A.M.S.

West Coast

Pavlove

SRAR

Phoenix

Light em up

Alone Together

Where did the party go

Miss missing you

Save Rock and Roll

ABAP

Centuries

Kids arent alright

Jet Pack Blues

Favorite Record

MANIA

Stay frosty

last of the real ones

hold me tight

Wilson

church

heavens gate

sunshine riptide

OTHER:

City in a Garden off of Lake Effect Kid

ok to start those are all great songs. Thnks fr th Mmrs is one of my personal faves cause i grew up listening to that song. however did you know that song has a lead in song? fall out boy has many segue songs; a song whos end flows seamlessly into the beginning of the next. Golden, the song before TFTM is gorgeous and i loooove listening to it, especially since the transition to thnks is so dramatic sounding. Last of the Real Ones is also a big ol song for me. it is, admittedly, on several of my character playlists. now im gonna go by album. ill admit right here i dont listen to take this to your grave very often so. its. not gonna be on here. off of from under the cork tree. theres a lot of good songs but the two i come back to are another segue pair, Get Busy (im not writing the whole title its their longest one) and XO. i love the transition, but both of those songs are absolutely wonderful as standalones.

infinity on high is where things start ramping up in terms of songs i like off of it. ignoring the popular ones because i also like those, and golden that i already talked about. I'm Like a Lawyer is such a nice sounding song I like it a lot. The lyrics are really good (as usual, i will gush about fob lyrics), and the music is very upbeat and fun, the contrast between the lyrics and the music should be stark but they go well together. The (After) Life of the Party is another absolutely gorgeous song holy shiiiit. i love that song so much it sounds gorgeous. fun to belt, fun to listen to, 10/10. Bang the Doldrums is one of the songs i listen to most frequently, and like a lot of fob songs, especially on IOH and FAD, it has a little section right before the ending chorus that has lyrics thatll kill you. Fame>Infamy is such a fun song to listen to, but i have to say the switch from minor to major in the middle blows me away every time. its so gorgeous. Crashing is fantastic but the subject matter is so heavy i have to be like. prepared to listen to it. love it to bits.

Folie a Deux is hard because thats. like my first or second favorite album. but this album FUCKS HARD. a lot of the songs on here have orchestral parts to it that makes them absolutely gorgeous. The first song, Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo, is gorgeous, big, loud, and dramatic and i love it. Headfirst Slide is also great and i love it and i wish i had his range holy cow. (Shipped) Gold Standard is great and i love trying to sing that little genre change at the part before the last chorus its so fun. [Coffee's for Closers] is. wowie wow wow. This song is why i think people who didnt like folie were just upset that it didnt sound like their perfect little emo songs because holy shit this song slaps. This song perfectly combines fall out boys version of emo with orchestral music. its honestly a fucking tragedy more people dont listen to it. What a Catch is so great, i just cant listen to it all the time because its so sad. which is understandable given the songs context. however, it does make for a funny little "hey is that [insert another famous musician that hangs with fall out boy a lot]" moment. W.A.M.S. is one of my all time faves and is one of the reasons Im learning bass guitar! still cant play that! fuck you pete your bass lines fuck severely but are so complicated for me to play! I also love West Coast Smoker. high energy belt/scream song. also not on the album proper but on the delux edition, love me Pavlove!

Save Rock and Roll has so many bangers, but did you know theres a music video for every song on this album and all the music videos tell a story? its really cool. again, skipping the popular ones. Alone Together is such a pretty song. that song sounds so good. Where Did the Party Go is so fun. I love their fun songs theyre fun to dance around to. Now, if I had to choose ONE FOB song as my all time fave? Miss Missing You. Holy fucking shit that songs so fucking good. The lyrics in that song are just one punch after the other and its so. AAAA. Save Rock And Roll (thr song) is also fantastic. Elton John hello sir. ABAP has a couple good songs. I recently used Irresistable for an OC piece i did. Jet Pack Blues is also a pretty sounding song and is nice to listen to for more of a chiller vibe than some of their other music. Favorite Record my beloved I love that song its so nice and upbeat and love filled.

Mania my beloved. My good time boy. My rotten soldier. genuinely dont think theres a song on this album I don't like. Stay frosty will always be there for me when I feel like throwing hands. that song slaps. hold me tight is a funky little jam. fun song. Expensive mistakes? my song. i love that song. pete was after my own heart making that song. Church is such a fuckin devotion song. Church and Last of the Real Ones are songs that feel like you sing them to someone youd give your life for. i also use those on charcter playlists. Heavens Gate is my FAVORITE love song. of all time. Sunshine Riptide is such a good song and is so fun to listen to.

not on any of their main studio albums, but City in a Garden is so good. so lovely so full of emotion.

#olitalks #im so sorry fall out boy is my favorite band #i tried so hard to not talk about every single song on the albums #i tried to only talk about the songs i listen to regularly #and songs that i really like and would listen to more if not for the subject matter

[soloorganaas]

Hello my love 🌎 and 📚 PLEASE 🙏🏾🙏🏾

omg yes yes

🌍 What is your dream AU?

i have so many but i got this ask twice so here is the first:

so a looooooong long ass MWPP era through first war fic. the first part of which digs deep into why and how sirius and remus got together wrt the healing they give each other but how unstable their relationship can be bc of their own many faults, unhealed traumas, the unrecognised power dif etc. i'd love to see them slowly start to work that out as well as they hit sixth and seventh year. all the while not ignoring how central james is to sirius, and also to the way his relationship with remus develops

and THEN i want to see how all this growth and development drives their decisions to join the order. what their options were, did they have doubts, what did they know about the war, where did they think it was going. then once they're in it how did this put pressure on their relationships, how did it bring out the best and worst in them

BUT. omg but. i want to see at least one (1) fucking adult intervene or even just be PART of this bc its an insane, huge, life-altering thing happening but somehow none of their parents are involved in any way. they're 18!! and that doesnt ofc mean they listen to even some of what their parents say, but i want to see that dynamic in place. the potters and james were so close. remus and his parents were close. sirius's entire family were on the other side of the war. none of them were acting in this alone

and then from this, i want to see someone older who cares about them give them even one ounce of perspective. and this goes x10000 for sirius and remus. bc the thing that hurts me the most is that they never got a chance to fully unlearn and heal from all the childhood bullshit that stopped them from ever having a stable relationship which then led to the whole betrayal tragedy in the first place. i want them to have older parents or family or guardians or anyone have some kind of insights into whats happening to them, even if only occasionally, even if they dont want to listen. but i want to see something interrupt the cycle of doom - of the idea that the could never possibly work out bc their relationship was imperfect, bc they had too much baggage, bc there was a war. i want them to be actually able to GENUINELY wrestle with those difficulties not just an inevitable miscommunication and falling apart. and maybe it still doesnt work out at all - maybe not then but later, maybe not ever - but i want to see a first war era where they are not just three kids left ENTIRELY by themselves bc theres so many reasons it doesnt need to be that way. it could actually be so much deeper if it was told just a little differently

wow that was long

📚 What’s the longest fic you’ve read in one sitting?

it was blue skies which is a star wars WW2 AU where RAF pilot poe and HRH navigator luke are paired up (with the ages adjusted obvs so its like a 10 year age gap). its set in the midst of war and its so real and gritty and all the other characters are amazing. and it is so so steeped in british-isms it literally transported me home. i sat up all night reading it drinking cups of tea. one of my fave fics of all time

#asks #if there is an AU like this that exists lmk #bc i'll read it

[betawooper]

Your thoughts on the canonical kny pairings? (The main trio, uzui's polycule, Obanai + Mitsuri and Hakuji + Koyuki)

warning ahead of time that there will be ship hate, just like look away if you dont like that stuff lol

(by main trio, im assuming you mean tanjirou with kanao, zenitsu with nezuko, and inosuke with aoi so we're gonna go with that assumption)

before i actually get started, i will say i generally dont like how gotouge writes romance if they arent established beforehand (like parents), and even then there couldve been more complexity and nuance behind such decisions, the romance is just so weak compared to their ability to write sibling dynamics

with that in mind

tanjirou and kanao - ugh, i dont like it at all, the fact that this was pretty much kanao's whole deal until the douma fight was abhorrent and every time i see kanao getting all flustered around tanjirou i lose 10 years of my life. it feels out of character and i hate that every time i see kanao interacting with him i see nothing but it being used as ship fuel and not a genuine exploration of their dynamic

they also have nothing in common and nothing to bond over, and their dynamic is not fun at all, i really dont see how both fans and gotouge genuinely think theyd make a good couple, its literally "shes a girl, hes a boy, can i make it more obvious"

-

zenitsu and nezuko - ughhhhhhhh

i mentioned at some point that this ship brought the worst out of canon zenitsu, and i still hold up to that, it literally ruined whatever emotional maturity he acquired in infinity fortress. then theres the fact that canon nezuko has essentially regressed to a toddler so theres the weirdness from that + she is really in no position to return his affections when she also has no agency over her actions

its the same thing with tanjirou and kanao where they also have nothing in common and nothing to bond over and their dynamic is not fun at all and its just "shes a girl, hes a boy, whoop-dee-stinking-do"

-

inosuke and aoi - gotouge put them together bc theyre both blue-coded huh? (/s) like thats it, that is all theyve got going, they have nothing

-

uzui's polycule - now this is where it gets a little better (kinda), i like how every one of the characters have distinct personalities and they play off each other in a fun way

i do have two complaints: one is that this relationship is a big reason why i think gotouge is not good at writing romance, bc even if they know how to write the four in an entertaining way, i dont sense any romantic love in their interactions. well, theres uzui and hinatsuru, but even thats reaching

second, makio apparently being a distant cousin of uzui is just wtf, idk why gotouge felt the need to add that at all, way to ruin a perfectly good relationship with a completely unnecessary and gross factoid when they could have just not done that

-

obanai and mitsuri - i actually really like this ship, just not the way gotouge handled it. theres so much potential for them to understand each other's struggles with their self image but all they actually got were moments about obanai being a creepy overprotective bastard over her, and mitsuri going "awww hes my knight and im a princess!" like girl,,,,,,

canon obamitsu, cringe

rewrite obamitsu, based

-

hakuji and koyuki - literally like the only relationship gotouge didnt screw over or fuck up, you can tell the two love each other a lot and thats what makes the tragedy later on so heartwrenching. koyuki and keizo representing hakuji's capacity to love and find hope and meaning in a cruel world and having them dying is just like, damn, cant believe this is in the same manga where zenitsu got jealous over sanemi patting nezuko on the head

-

tldr; main trio pairings are ass, canon obamitsu is wack, uzui polycule is okay just has a few issues, and hakuji and koyuki is the best ship in this story, no question

#incest mention #bc of the uzui thing #asks #kny manga #also thanks for sending all these asks! i love talking about my opinions

[stevenrogered]

Hi Liv! A couple things about Daisy Jones and the Six I’d love to chat with you about if you don’t mind.

First, I haven’t read the book, but I’ve seen that it ends similarly with the Daisy, Billy, Camilla of it all. And I gotta say it turned me off a bit for a few reasons. I hate the “killing the significant other due to illness, accident, tragedy, etc” so the main character can end up with the third person in the triangle. It just feels cheap and like a cop out. I know you’ve said it a lot but I agree and would’ve loved to see more of Camila and how his and Billy’s relationship is in the book portrayed more in the show. But I honestly was torn between both pairings. The ending also made me think of the How I Met Your Mother finale and I know we all loathed that, lol, so in a way I just was turned off it even more. But also also, the whole time once Daisy enters the Six, I kept thinking of the HIMYM quote Robin tells Ted "If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing, timing. But timing's a bitch." 

Second, I keep thinking of another love triangle where the guy has a wife and maybe also kids and there’s a new woman who comes in and he falls in love with her too but they all try to be friendly, and I believe he also has a brother who tells the new woman “He will never leave her (the wife)” and tries to get the woman out of his brother’s life. And I’m sure there are endless possibilities, but I can’t even remember if it was a show or a movie, or maybe it was even a Hindi movie? Lol, if you have any ideas/this sounds familiar at all, please share what show/movie it could be.

This cast was truly magical and I’m so sad the show is over. Do you think there’s any possibly for another season or more, based on anything from the book that didn’t make the show, or even a new route for the show beyond what was in the book?I remember reading rumors when the show was about to premiere that they have a tour planned, and if so I would absolutely buy tickets if they play in New York City!

hi! it does end pretty much the same way, but the big difference is in the book it happens when they're much older.

the first movie i thought of that kinda fits that is kabhi alvida naa kehna- the ONE srk movie that i hate with a burning passion bc i absolutely hate the message in it and especially how dirty they did preity zintas character lmao i saw that movie in theaters and i have such a visceral reaction to it, i hate that movie so much haha but the only other thing i can think of is when harry met sally, that might be what you're thinking of?

theres a rumor they're trying to get them to go on tour! but they need to see if it can work with all their schedules. i'd totally go see it too!

#ask #anonymous

[blamblamblairy]

Top 10 works of fiction ask? 👉🏻👈🏻

fuck this is hard for me without any order, it would probably have to be WTC Series - Ryukishi07: kinda obvious considering my blog. It covers all my favorite genres and it has relatable characters (i already know what you're gonna say.) (still need to start ciconia but i keep not finishing other things so i need to finish those first) Madoka Magica - Gen Urobuchi: lesbians, time loops and tragedy. honestly what more can you ask for. homura best girl (love them all tho) Neon Genesis Evangelion - Hideaki Anno: with my current list so far and including this i couldn't even lie about being mentally stable (not that anyone would believe a yasu is). eva is a series i hold really close to my heart. its focus on more introspective things rather than on the actual robot fights themselves led to me realizing and accepting some things about myself and for that i will always love it. K-On - Kakifly: not all my favorites are dark and emotionally driven, sometimes i just need a simple comedy to enjoy and laugh at. what can i even say about k-on other than haha funny light music club go brrrrrr. Spider-Man - Marvel: i have my fair share of issues with everything modern when it comes to superhero shit but everything pre 2006 of spider-man i still adore. compared to all the heroes on the level of gods and idols theres something special about an ordinary guy who got his powers by chance and still has to deal with the same struggles regular people face. Girls Last Tour - tkmiz: pretty simple series of a pair of girls and their lives at the end of the world. made me laugh. made me cry. truly wonderful series. (tkmiz's shimeji simulation will probably join this list but i wanna see where it goes further first. still deserves a mention tho.) Shin Godzilla - Hideaki Anno: i love this kaiju to death so ofc i had to put the greatest godzilla movie on this list. with a return to godzilla as a destructive force of nature as opposed to a semi hero type figure the american films have been trying and a new take with a constantly evolving monster, shin godzilla mixes new and old for a spectacle that can be taken both at face value and a little deeper. Devilman Crybaby - Masaaki Yuasa: (never read the devilman manga so idk if im missing out on anything) truly a beautiful series that says a lot about human nature and discrimination of people for being "different." would recommend to anyone Serial Experiments Lain - Yasuyuki Ueda: why yes i do have a thing for weird thought provoking shows. they're just so good. lain probably is the weirdest one i have on here but that adds to the intriguing nature of it. its hard for me to really talk about it without going too much into weird spoilery shit but funky internet girl. Chainsaw Man - Tatsuki Fujimoto: epic action series with devils and some horror elements and characters to get way too attached to. check out the manga or the anime later this year idk. its mappa so i expect it to be good. in conclusion im a huge weeb who likes things that make me think

#when they cry #umineko #higurashi #umineko when they cry #higurashi when they cry #madoka magica #neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #k on #k-on #spider man #spider-man #spiderman #girls last tour #tkmiz #godzilla #shin godzilla #gojira #devilman #devilman crybaby #serial experiments lain #lain #chainsaw man

[theultimatefanficwriter]

My Ships!

Hey guys! So currently it's late at night and I wanna write something to help me sleep. So here I am on my phone quickly writing out all my ships down so you guys can see what a loser I am lol.

Now feel free to discuss your opinions, but dont start any ship wars or bash anyone's ships, alright? Cool! So here we go! Each ship will have a short explanation as to why I ship it. And they are in order from favorite to least, though my least favorite is still one I like.

Ishimondo-This is my biggest comfort ship. I love enemies to lovers so much and these two idiots are just...such a beautiful tragedy.

Saimota-Can someone say bromance? Like please they were flirting so hard it hurts. They are dating your honor.

Saimatsu-Please the way she was able to motivate him? Even after death she helped him improve. They had such chemistry from the very beginning.

SakurAoi-Yeah yeah Sakura has a bf whatever. But they technically werent dating yet cause they were waiting til Kenshiro got well. So...LES GO LESBIANS! Hina was about to commit murder suicide for her boo. Literally lovers.

HaruKaito-So even besides the fact Maki straight up confesses, I disagree with people saying they dont have chemistry. They're adorable and Kaito opens her up to people. This ship is adorable af.

Tokomaru-Similair to Kaito and Maki! Komaru helped Toko be a better person! Like I hated Toko at first, but after UDG, shes a top tier favorite. This ship is too cute.

Soudam-Again I love enemies to lovers. Idgaf if they never show romantic interest in each other shut up. They're beautiful bastards, both of them.

Fuyupeko-...do...do I really need to explain? Just play the second chapter again lol.

Hinanami-Im not a big fan of Hajime. In fact hes my least fave protag. But I think the way they interact and the way he is around Chiaki is too fucking cute.

Sondam-They had the more obvious chemistry in the game, and I love Sonia with Gundham. They fit each perfectly, having similar interests. Plus how sad she was when he died? 😭

Kiiruma-Ok so they're a perfect fit right? Kiibo was one of the only ones to even care when Miu died, and Miu seemed to care about Kiibo. Yeah because she could upgrade him, but I feel theres more there!

Naihiro-Now this is a rare pair. I think the two of them are very cute and soft boys, so they relate to each other. Theyd be a very sweet couple.

Akanidai-Nekomaru literally died to protect Akane, and took two bazookas to the chest for her. They were inseparable. Case closed. They cute.

Daiyakure-Another rarepair. It's hard to ship Hiro with people cause you'll get hit with the "hes 21 and they're underage" argument. But with Daiya Oowada, you can say hey, fuck you! Theres literally no interactions between them. It's almost a crack ship. But I love it more than I should.

Naekure-Another Hiro ship, but this one can be justified by saying they start dating after they escape the game and they know they're both adults. I think Makoto would be a decent balance to Hiro's...everything.

Togakure-Same logic as with Makoto as to when they get together. Byakuya would be able to deal with his idiot enough to calm him down slightly. Plus it would be a funny contrast.

Ishikure-Ok now this is a bit harder to explain. I see it more as they were dating before the mind wipe, and in survivor aus theyd date again. I just think Hiro being the only one to care about him after ch 2 is sweet and that the two would be cute.

Hagekureon-Same reasoning as with Taka;Hiro and Leon were dating before the game and/or they date in survivor aus. I think the two idiots together would be an interesting combo, like with Ishimondo.

Naegami-Finally, back to well known ships!😅 So Byakuya clearly cares for Makoto even if he tries to hide it. He'd be a good partner to Makoto, if not a bit tsundereish.

Kuzusouda-Fuyuhiko was like the only one to try to curb Kazuichi's simping, and they have a nice friendship in the anime(from what I've seen and heard, havent seen all of it😅)so I think Fuyu would be able to help Kaz accept himself.

Asakure-Once again, getting together after game. My friend put it as "the two idiots getting together. Its cute." And hes not wrong lol Despite Hina being slightly smarter and the fact she bullied Hiro a bit in game, I can see them working off each other nicely.

Goshi-Firstly I just love the striking difference in their heights. It's funny as hell to me lmao. But secondly I think Gonta's sincereness and kindness could eventually break through to Ryoma and help him realize he isnt unlovable, and he is worth something.

Twobuki-I just think Ibuki's constant praise and lowkey flirting with Twogami is adorable, especially given his...size. Usually people would make a character like that completely unlovable, so the fact she was seen doting on him so much is adorable.

BandAid-Now I normally dont ship killers and victims. It just doesnt feel right to me. But given Mikan was more or less brainwashed into doing it, i kinda give this ship a pass. Plus i think Ibuki could help her be more confident in herself and stop letting others use her.

Soapies-I dont really like either of these characters, thus why its last on the list, but I think Mahiru is the only one who could "tame" Hiyoko, for lack of a better word. She could help her stop being a bully and actually open up to others. Plus they both care a lot about each other. It's cute. Its sweet.

So that's my list! It might grow, and if it does I'll reblog this post to add onto it! Feel free to give your opinions on it, but remember: no ship wars!

Alright imma go pass out now! Good night guys! Lol

#danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa ultra despair girls #ships #danganronpa ships #ishimondo #saimota #saimatsu #sakuraoi #harukaito #tokomaru #soudam #fuyupeko #hinanami #sondam #akanidai #daiyakure #togakure #naegami #kuzusouda #twobuki #bandaid #soapies

[eatingscorpions]

u have.me so hard on the strint gummy/timekeeper train i want to hear all of it

I AM SO SORRY TUMBLR USER CROISSTRING I FEEL LIKE A HOMEWREAKER GJNKHJHJJJHLKJKJK

i really want them to have a happy ending but there are so many ways of making timekeeper feel miserable and unwanted i cant help myself

string gummy feels like a person who would be very hesitant to move on and care about something again even thought. timekeeper literally was director croissant at some point of their life. you fool. you silly boy. but it was painful to lose your future and then being saved from that isolation and then lose your future again…. (and a certain someone saw an escape in isolation? in a thing that made him suffer so much?!)

and the fact that he thinks that it was ruler of ephemeral flow’s fault that director croissant was depressed is not helping tk win him over, even though she doesn’t really need an internal influence to become timekeeper. its more of a naturally occurring tragedy of being a director

string gummy also knows that timekeeper was able to see his timeline so i think an interesting conflict can spring if he does not know that tk and croissant are the same person. they saw her and knew how she acted and if they act like her (because they have samey mental configuration) and if they are generally passive aggressive around him that must mean that they want to ridicule him for caring about her. it may be resolved by him noticing that its just how they are towards others as well or during stressful situations

on timekeepers end being the same person as director croissant means that they have same tastes and every timekeeper/string gummy has director croissant/string gummy behind it “<D this dialogue kinda implies that tk sent him on a mission? so she relies on him :( why are you so mean :( your director used to do that too :(

i think tk bullies him in the event because he keeps saying that she is irresponsible and he has no right to say such things because he doesnt know how painful loosing someone dear is!! (bc in the ending where he did see it they weren’t mean to him)

also string gummys rejections have very tasty implications of timekeeper being a ‘not right’ version of croissant, can you tell i want the next timekeeper event to be about them feeling like a failure because theres a need to avoid becoming like them haha

this is a pairing built on painful misunderstandings and not speaking words through mouths and i love hating this dynamic and trying to fix it

______________

they complemented him and were smirking about how similar they are, it is a little bit cute... croissant is hard-working and they were watching her the whole morning!!! they like hard-working people

#THEM!!!! THE THEY OF THEMS D: #i am doing this to myself i can’t complain but i want to

[bxngthedoldrums]

a comprehensive timeline of the best/most tragic lines about mikey way, written by pete wentz on his social media from the mid-2000s pt 2

aka i cant believe theres so many aka he just cant let it go

[july 8th 2006]

“when the air is clear i can see how perfect you are for me.” // “i only love how the words feel in my head when i write them. fireworks over the valley.” // “i just want to stay up late and wake up early to talk to you. that i want to show you all of my jealousy and insecurity and have you not care.”

[august 11th 2006]

“i have affection imprinted deep inside my head. its why i am always on the verge of love or giving up.” // “maybe we’ll just go to sleep and wake up on the summer sheets i grew up on.“

[august 14th 2006]

“dear world, please make me not alone.”

[august 19th 2006]

“comfort can come from the strangest places. while you are dying waiting on a phonecall.” // “everything is really all about the follow through, from swinging in baseball to bestfriends.“

[august 27th 2006]

“there is one single pair of eyes that could ever decode any of this. put another “x” on the calendar. summer is on its deathbed. there is simply nothing worse than knowing the ending.” // “i wonder if anyone else thinks of you as much as i do, even you.” // “a mutual misunderstanding. kaleidoscope eyes sparkle on pillows in the dark. and i dont care what anyone thinks of that except me. put the love on hold, anticipation is on the other line and excitement called while you were out.imagine me and you…”

[september 18th 2006]

“somehow the things we say mean more in corners of dancefloors and we focus on love below the waist and outside of the head.” // “ im in love with lovers who dont love me except under the pale light of the moon. im sleeping in my driveway tonight dreaming of sleeping in snow or gravel or whatever is next to you.” 

[october 2nd 2006]

“i was designed to break your heart. my only real crime is my obsession with documenting it. and maybe the way i still love you after the flash on the camera cools off.“

[november 26 2006]

“im only in love with trainwrecks.”

[december 14th 2006]

“i love to write of sex and bodies pressed against eachother- but i am not a closer and never will be, i cant get my mind to shut off long enough to make moves. id rather remember the smell of your hair and the way you faked like you were too drunk to drive home.“ // “its no fun hating someone who hates themself so much more.” // disappointing people is my thing baby, find a new gig, this town aint big enough for the two of us. i have a love/hate relationship with being forgotten.”

[april 27th 2007]

“i want the weightlessness of love with the carelessness of a fuck.” // “when they said we had chemistry im pretty sure this aint what they meant (me plus you plus tears plus a sedative or two).“

[may 17th 2007]

“sex on tile floors next to bathroom sinks, fuck to forget fuck to remember” // “i wouldnt dare say these words aloud as i fear they would set off a chemical reaction within me or you or that they would come across like a foreign language straining for meaning.” // “i want to get under your skin and its not just a metaphor mostly. your eyelashes kiss off everything i say except in the way that it only makes me dream. informercial love affair.” 

[may 30th 2007]

“i am completely obsessed with everyone who is completely unobsessed with me.” // “ i dont even remember saying goodbye to you.” // “ im sorry baby. my heart is clumsy. but i love you in a holding your hair back kind of way.”

[june 29th 2007]

“ex- loves. and friends. save your troubles for another day, they wern’t at the end of the hallway. baby boy, you’re too busy writing tragedy to notice.”

[december 11th 2008]

“stuck on the pause of you.”

#petekey #some DEEP CUTS in this one...i did my research for yall

[littlx-songbxrd]

The last hour among us AU

So, I said I wouldnt do this

But I did it

Thanks to @grangerstairs for listening to me rant and helping me with some of these

Oka this is gonna be a mess

Overall headcanons

Them playing always results in someone getting threatened with a seraph blade but its fun!

Ok Jesse is always the first one killed for some reason and kinda rules the ghost chat, but he never leaves and just continues on doing hes tasks

James is suspicious, of everyone. He trust no one

Lucies a good impostor, but she never kills Cordelia and that kinda gives her away

For some reason Lucie can read the ghost chat but all she does is flirt with Jesse and try to get him to tell her who the impostor is

Mathew throws out wild accusations, almost always says alastairs sus

Actually no everyone is always saying Alastairs sus

This pisses him off cause whenever hes making any real accusations he gets voted off cause of bloody fairchild

Alastair: "Its Anna, I saw her vent when I found the body in electrical"

Mathew: Idk Alastairs kinda sus

Alastair: gets voted off

Thomas tries to defend Alastair because he knows his friends are just all throwing out of context accusations at him but hes kinda powerless

He once called an emergency meeting to tell everyone to behave because Lucie kept saying James was sus, Mathew kept acussing everyone (even dead people) for the drama and they lost kit, twice

Thomas is actually very observant so he doesnt make accusations often, but when he does hes almost always right

Christopher is simply there to have a good time and gets caught up doing tasks

He honestly forgets hes supposed to be looking out for the impostor so he almost always gets killed after Jesse in electrical

He likes the wires-

After three straight games of him being killed Thomas decides to stick with him to make sure hes not killed in electrical, again

Cordelia tries to stick with Lucie because she knows wether shes the impostor or not she'd never kill her

For some reason Cordelia is really good at the card admin thing and no one understands why

Thomas, Cordelia and Christopher are the only ones who ever get their tasks done

Mathew has never once in his life finished his tasks

Hes here for the drama of the game

The betrayl, the bloodshed, the TRAGEDY. Hes not here to fix wires

Also to mess with James while he does sus things and follows him around

For some reason even if he swears his not James is always acting sus

Hes an easy target to pawn off on if they've already eliminated poor Alastair

Charles plays very rarely, but when he does they all have an unspoken agreement to vote him off

Charles "I think-"

Alastair "Charles is sus"

Mathew "For once I agree with Carstairs"

There was this one time Charles really was the impostor so that was a... win win?

Theres an unspoken agreement that if you vote for christopher you're immediatly sus

Like "are you blind???? Christopher?????"

Mathew and Anna are always trolling the chat

Beside Thomas, Anna is the only other person to make good accusations

But shes having too much fun trolling with Mathew to actually take the game seriously half the time

Shes here to watch James be scared, Lucie go into full on sherlock mode and watch Alastair get thrown off the vent

Christopher never knows who to vote for so he always either skips or votes for the last person they wrote was sus on the chat

He accidently once voted for Thomas cause Mathew jokingly accused him and Thomas has never been so dissapointed

Colors and names

Jesses so tires of being killed his name is literally ghost~ and is white

Lucies cyan and probably has princess Lucretia to promote her wip while James is black for the aesthetic and probably has a book character name

Mathews lime and whoever refers to him as light green gets on his to kill list for when hes impostor. Also hes name is Oscar Wilde what did you expect?

Christopher for some god forsaken reason, is orange. Probs has kit

Cordelia is pink and has daisy as her name

Thomas and Alastair lit have the most boring names Thomas was Thomas L and Alastair literally just put Carstairs F in chat

Thomas is dark green while Alastairs red

Anna is blue and puts random names every match

Cordelia always has a flower as her accesory and its adorable, specially when shes killing people with her flower

Chriatopher has a plant, cause he likes plants

Lucie has a little antenna

Mathew and Anna are always changing their accessories every game in the name of fashion

Impostors

So the best impostor pair are Cordelia and Alastair

Everyone thinks they'd be horrible but if theres one thing the carstair siblings hate is loosing

They have a persian mother with a temper THESE KIDS KNOW HOW TO LIE AND LIE GOOD

With Cordelia there to stop Alastair from being voted off their unstopable

They have a good strategy, they're kills are evened out just enough for them to not get caught and have a very detailed venting system developed

They always pawn off on james saying hes sus to Lucie who always believes Cordelia

James: "Lucie I was WITH YOU-"

Lucie: "Yeah but Daisy says youre sus and thats all the prove I need"

The only real argument they've had was when Cordelia didnt want to kill Lucie

Alastair fought her on it but she said "then kill Thomas"

They unifficially made an agreement and Cordelia killed Thomas while Alastair killed Lucie

The only time they've ever been caught was when they killed mathew in the beggining and Anna was actually paying attention

Overall the BEST impostors DO NOT mess with the Carstair siblings

The worst impostors are actually mathew and christopher

Christopher never knows who to kill so he just follows Mathew around. And Mathew just kills Alastair and calls it a day

They never win, they suck

If Alastair is the first to be killed instead of being voted off, you can 100% assume Mathews the impostor

Anna is actually a really good impostor, unlike Lucie she spares no one and kills whoever she needs

Shes ruthless, has won often

The worst Christophers ever done as impostor is sabotage the lights and kill Jesse in electrical

While Thomas was still with him so he gets voted off

The most unpredictable impostor is actually Thomas

Hes a wild card, hes killing pattern is iregular, hes quiet so no one suspects him, but he doesnt hold back

If he can kill you, he will

Sure he'll fill bad about it but he will

Cannot for the love of life pawn off others when hes accused, thats how hes caught

Alastairs a good impostor, but without Cordelia always gets voted off by bloody fairchild

James always kills Lucie cause she keeps calling him sus

Once he killed Mathew and he started monologing in the ghost chat about betrayl

"by my OWN PARABATAI-"

Thats all I have for today! Please dont let this flop I worked really hard and my thumbs hurt lol

#chain of iron #tlh #the last hours tlh #chain of gold #chain of thorns #tsc memes #alastair carstairs #tsccreatenet #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #james herondale #thomas lightwood #christopher lightwood #anna lightwood #mathew fairchild #among us au #incorrect tsc quotes #tsc #tsc headcanons #cassandra clare

[corvidares]

c!ranboo, zoe murphy?

send me a character aaand..

c!ranboo -

favorite thing about them

oh gosh hmm... i think.. its his capacity for love. his caring. he's not close to many, but those he truly loves he would do anything for - from the smallest gestures (an allium, for you) to the grandest (i would protect you with my life)

and he doesnt care what anyone else thinks about those he cares about.

least favorite thing about them

his willingness to keep his head in the sand. theres so many things that happened in the server before he arrived, or things he's forgotten, and its a bit hard to watch him just.. be okay with that, especially when its relevant to him. like the fact that he only JUST recently found out about what happened to tubbo during the pogtopia war.. damn, dude. maybe pick up a history book or smth?

favorite line

“Although I’m forgetful, although I’m an idiot sometimes, I can’t forget people.”

(there might be other ones but its so hard to dig up quotes for this damn fandom)

brOTP

HIM AND TOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! their friendship, as rocky as it is, means EVERYTHING to me. tommy was one of the first people to show kindness to him. hes patient with his memory issues. and ranboo doesnt let tommys anger and playing insults get to him. he knows tommy has a huge heart. he doesnt give up on him, even when everyone else does. ranboo yelled at sam on tommy's behalf when.. tragedy befell him.

OTP

him and tubbo!! i just adore their relationship. you can tell they were drawn to each other, that they're growing together. they both hide so much from each other, both have so much trauma, but they would die for each other. they started a family together!! they have their own commune! tubbo is patient with ranboo and ranboo spoils the heck out of tubbo, just as he deserves.

nOTP

shrugs?? in terms of Any kind of relationship, keep dream the FUCK away from him

random headcanon

ranboo really loves hugs and similar types of physical affection :] he wraps his tail around tubbo a lot, and tommy if theyre hanging out close enough.

also he's nonbinary and uses he/they

unpopular opinion

fanon needs to realize that ranboo DOES in fact have a backbone and CAN stand up for himself and others

song i associate with them

okay this is embarrassing but i dont think i have any [pensive]

favorite picture of them

AUGUHGHG YOU CANT MAKE ME CHOOSE

this one jk haha no but uuuuh oh man. maybe one of the frames from shatter? this is cute too

-------

zoe murphy -

favorite thing about them

ohhhh. i think... it's how much she grows, how strong she is in the wake of so much pain. those things didnt make her stronger. but damn does she know how to keep moving forward, to truly step into her own light.

least favorite thing about them

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tough. maybe her callousness towards connor? i mean idk, i get where shes coming from, but.. it does suck a little bit.

favorite line

"'Cause when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep | No one lights a candle to remember"

yes im cheating with a song lyric

brOTP

IS IT CHEATING TO SAY HER AND CONNOR?!

OTP

no one? tbh. alana and her can be a cute pairing tho sometimes

nOTP

i. really dont like her with evan, at least romantically.

random headcanon

-slams fists on table- zOE HAS ADHD-

uuh but for something you maybe Havent heard, how bout... she loves spring! a cool breeze on a warm day! and sunsets

unpopular opinion

uuuuuuuuh zoe was not popular in school

also she doesnt hate connor

song i associate with them

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers ,,

favorite picture of them

AGH

this is one of my favorites!

#THANK YOU ELLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #ask games #corvimail

[katarastrans]

i really hate when people say that azula shouldnt get a redemption arc. like i get that not every villain or bad guy deserves one, but azula absolutely does.

before i get into it, it want to say that im not very good at putting my thoughts into words, so i apologize if any of this is hard to understand or is worded poorly. its not completely cohesive or coherent but i just really need to get my thoughts out.

there are a few things that are vital to remember about azula: shes fourteen, shes a victim of abuse and shes mentally ill in a way that is very frequently demonized.

im not saying that these things excuse any of her actions. they dont but these things provide important context as to why she does what she does. shes still under the thumb of her abusive father and shes only fourteen.

ever since azula was very young she’s had to deal with both ozai and ursas abuse. ursa openly disliked, maybe even hated, azula. theres one particular scene in zuko alone where ursa says “what is wrong with that child” within azulas earshot, as azula is running past her and that might not seem like a lot but as someone who has had to deal with similar things its fucking awful and i struggle to believe that thats the only time something like that happened. its obvious that ursa cares more for zuko than azula, and its obvious that iroh(more on him later) also cares more for zuko. 

the only adult that azula has is ozai, so it makes sense that she wants to be exactly what he wants her to be. she does what he wants and acts how he wants her to act. theres a lot more than can be said about azula and ozai but im not going to because its not necessarily important to whether or not azula deserves a redemption (thats not to say that its unimportant to azula and her character, its obviously extremely important, its just not necessary to get into all the details for this particular discussion) and i found that trying to write in depth about this i was unable to say anything i was really happy with. other people can and probably have written about this better than i can.

so azula has never been able to come out from under the influence of ozai. she only has him to look up to.

why doesnt she deserve redemption? what is it about azula that makes people think that she shouldnt be able to learn and grow and become a better, happier person?

now im gonna talk about iroh a bit. iroh was a general for presumably a while. he literally laid siege to ba sing se for 400 days and didnt stop until lu ten died. he is a war criminal as an adult. as an adult who is old enough to have a son who is in the military. he killed so many people and didnt stop to consider that hmm maybe this is a bad thing until someone close to him died. and like yea, thats horrible. its a horrible thing to lose someone close to you but hes activley caused the death of hundreds.

so why do we forgive iroh? to me, hes done worse things than azula. yes, azula conquered ba sing se but she didnt lay siege to it for over a year and he did this as an adult.

well, we forgive iroh because the show has forgiven him. whats more is that the show puts iroh on a moral high ground. iroh is always made out to be right and he hates azula.

he never even put in the effort to get to know her (as seen by the fact that he gifts her a doll, which she proceeds to set on fire because its obviously a ‘well i guess i should probably get you a gift too. what do girls like? dolls?’ kind of gift’ while he gives zuko something he actually likes). 

azula is in a situation that is while different from zukos, is also very similar, and iroh treats her like a villain for it while he only supported zuko. dont get me wrong, what he did for zuko is extremely good. he did a good thing supporting him because he desperately needed that, but azula also needed it and what does iroh do for her? he calls her crazy and says that she “needs to go down.”

this isnt me saying that you should hate iroh. hes important to the story, does good things for zuko and is interesting (though hed be much more interesting if the show actually acknowledged his flaws instead of making him the moral authority of the show -_-). its just kind of fucked up how people treat iroh vs how they treat azula.

iroh gets paired with the phrase ‘make tea not war’ (a complete mischaracterization. my hatred for this phrase is unending.) and is treated as some wise old man. azula is routinely called a psychopath. and i get that the show displays iroh as good and azula as bad, but we do also get to see azula in a sympathetic light at the end.

im not saying that the last scene with azula is perfect, but it shows azula as a young girl who is suffering. whats going on is a tragedy. the music is telling us that and then we see her sobbing and losing control after katara has beaten her. i dont like that this is the last we see of her, but i do like the scene because, at least to me, it shows that azula is sympathetic (though she shouldnt have to have a public breakdown to be sympathetic but thats something else) and that shes just a kid in a really shitty position but apparently people miss this. apparently people watch the agni kai scene with its sad music that culminates in a child weeping and still think that azula is an irredeemable monster.

and even if the show didnt show azula as sympathetic to some degree she still shouldnt be treated the way she is by the fandom.

azula is psychotic (said in the actual use of the word and not in the ableist ‘oh she fucking evil’ kind of way. also said as someone who is psychotic). she hallucinates and has delusions and intense paranoia on screen. psychosis is extremely demonized. 

to me its kind of obvious that a lot of the ‘azula doesnt deserve a redemption’ argument is ableist. people will see an abused, mentally ill child and think that shes worse than her war criminal uncle. if you think that azula doesnt deserve redemption please think about why you think that. think about why you dont want her to get the chance to grow and become a better person and to eventually be happy. i dont care if she makes a good and interesting villain, that doesnt mean she doesnt deserve redemption. zuko was also an interesting villain but he got a redemption and stayed a good and interesting character.

anyways to end this: let characters with “scary” mental illnesses have the opportunity to grow and change and live happy lives.

#atla #azula #op #honestly not totally happy with this but ive been working on it for three and a half hours and i just need to get this out #again: i am bad at putting my thoughts into like... words and stuff #my essays