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#this probably isn't even a photo post but :
racew1nn3rs ยท 2 days
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โ”€ ๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ช. (๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ) ๐ŸŠ
โคท summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
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liked by f1, landonorris, and 55,007 others
tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri
mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come
12,567 comments
user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers ๐Ÿ˜ญ
user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era
mclaren well, yes!
user3 HELP MEEEE
user4 the way lando looks at her ๐Ÿ˜ญ
user5 this is a place of business
user6 oscar looks petrified ๐Ÿ’€
mclaren dw guys we're still training him!
oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog
mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver
user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
user8 no literally, content of her WHERE
mclaren ynusername ๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿผ
user9 LETS FUCKING GO
user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM ๐Ÿ’€ THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL
mclaren they don't pay me to LIE
user11 CRAZYY
user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN ๐Ÿ˜ญ
mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace ๐Ÿฅฑ
user13 icon
landonorris reporting you to hr
mclaren for what
landonorris idk harrassment or something
mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down ๐Ÿ’€
user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM
user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures
user16 real and true
user17 i fear we may have lost the plot
user18 thoughts on today's results
mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man
user19 LMAOOOOO
user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif
mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want
user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?
mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches ๐Ÿฅฑ
landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO
mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF ๐Ÿซต
oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice
oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day
mclaren so basically your everyday look
oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile
mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want ๐Ÿคจ
oscarpiastri nevermind!!!
maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years
mclaren that's saying something isn't it ๐Ÿคฉ
user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin
mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
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liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others
ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:
3,422 comments
user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today
ynusername 3!
user24 oh that's not that bad
ynusername +5
user24 JESUS CHRSUT
bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier
ynusername honestly yeah
ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!
user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha
ynusername that just made me want to do meth more
landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces ๐Ÿ˜‡
user26 oh brother here he goes
ynusername you must be deaf then
landonorris ๐Ÿ˜” 2 espresso machines?
ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines ๐Ÿ™„
oscarpiastri now what car is that ๐Ÿซต
ynusername SHHHHH
oscarpiastri TRAITOR
bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ
ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments ๐Ÿ’€
ynusername but yeah obviously
user27 admin vlogs when ๐Ÿ˜”
ynusername SOON!!! very very soon
user28 mother feeding us once again
ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume
danielricciardo coffee recipe where?
ynusername in your dms now โ€ผ๏ธ
danielricciardo is this flirting
ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable
landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then ๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿผ
ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case
user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ
user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her
user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:
ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???
user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse
user33 oh please the horse would be dead
ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME โ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
ynusername posted to story!
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(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)
15,221 replies
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
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would you like to watch? yes or no
now loading...
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."
"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.
"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."
"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.
"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."
Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.
"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.
Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.
"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"
An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.
"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.
The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."
Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.
Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.
In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.
"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.
"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.
"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.
"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.
Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.
Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.
"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.
"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.
"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.
"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.
"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.
"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."
"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"
Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."
"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.
"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.
In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.
"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.
"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.
"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.
She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.
The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.
"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.
Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.
Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.
The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.
A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."
Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.
And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.
Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.
The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.
"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.
"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.
And with that, the camera cut to black.
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others
ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost ๐Ÿ˜” i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ best friend frl
9,547 comments
bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST
ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette ๐Ÿคฉ
bsfusername never doing shit for you again
user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take
ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking ๐Ÿฅณ
maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป
ynusername don't mention it! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ
ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)
mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ
user35 not y/n threatening herself ๐Ÿ’€
oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee
ynusername it did! just 25 hours later
user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner
ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!
user37 PERIODDDD
user38 me personally? i'd never log on again
user39 she needs a personal channel ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ i'd subscribe
user40 her cat is so cute ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ gimme that
ynusername ๐Ÿซต STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES
user40 my bad fam ๐Ÿง๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ
user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat
landonorris don't you have a job to be doing ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ she slept through a full work day
user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt
user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed
ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me ๐Ÿฅฑ talking bout get a job
user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back
user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit
user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys
ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass
landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???
ynusername THAT'S THE POINT
user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
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user48 NURSE ๐Ÿซต SHE'S RIGHT HERE
user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma
user50 OP, are you concussed?
user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€
pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!
user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION
user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1
user55 i fear i totally get it ๐Ÿ˜”
user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk
user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight
user58 she also hugged oscar ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ?? and he has a whole gf
user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after ๐Ÿ’€ delusion is a disease yall
user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause ๐Ÿ˜—
user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall ๐Ÿคจ
โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
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โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” เผปโœฉโ‚Šโ‹†โ˜พโ‹†โบโœงเผบ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”
sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!
please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3
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๐™ฉ๐™–๐™œ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
1K notes ยท View notes
the-force-awakens ยท 2 years
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OSCAR ISAACย inย The Promise (2016)
973 notes ยท View notes
osaemu ยท 8 months
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GOJO SATORU: THINK I NEED SOMEONE OLDER
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โœฉ โ€ง หš. synopsis: what do you do when your boyfriend cheats? you go to his house and look for revenge, and you get it by fucking his dad! NSFW
contents: fem!reader. age gap, blowjob, praise, degradation, use of slut, slight dumbification, dirty talk, and possibly more. 2.6K words.
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you should've known that dating a rich boy came with more than just the moneyโ€”it came with a shitty boyfriend too.ย 
as you walk to his house, rain falling in your eyes, you curse every time he had you do his homework, his bills, even his fuckingย laundry. that's what you get for dating the spoiled heir to the massive gojo fortune.
you step onto the gojo estate's porch, wondering what possessed you to come all the way here in the middle of the night without an umbrella. thank god you still had the key your ex had given you, since he was too stupid to remember to take it back after he dumped you.
hands shaking from the cold, you slip the key into the lock and turn, a small smile dancing across your lips when it opens as easily as your ex's legs. he was probably out fucking another girl right now, if the pictures on his instagram story were any hint of his whereabouts.
you push the door open with your shoulder and dry your feet on the doormat. his parents are never home, and it's late enough for the staff to have all gone back to their quarters. besides, even if one or two were still here, they probably didn't know you weren't their spoiled brat's girlfriend anymore.
humming the post-breakup revenge song you'd been listening to for the past hour, you tie up your hair and look around. the only reason you walked all the way here in the middle of a dark, stormy night was for revenge, and you weren't leaving without it.
on the way to your ex's room, you stop in one of the bathrooms to dry off. rainwater slides off your body as you wring out your hair in the sink, water dripping down your wrist as you do so.
you walk the familiar path to your ex's room, rolling your eyes when you see a bra on the floor that definitely isn't yours. funnily enough, you aren't surprised. there's no hurt, no sadness, just disgust. your suspicions were rightโ€”heย wasย fucking other girls while the two of you dated.ย 
a sigh slips through your lips as you look around his room. it's messy, even with theย help from the gojo estate's numerous staff. they say bigger rooms naturally look cleaner, and yet your ex's room still manages to mirror his mindโ€”filthy.
you're so immersed in the thousand ideas you have to ruin your ex's life that when a deep, sleep-ridden voice asks you what the fuck you're doing in his house, you nearly jump out of your skin.
you spin around, words caught in your throat when you come face-to-face with satoru gojo, your ex-boyfriend's dad and the infamous head of the gojo family.
it's more than shameful that the first thought you have is thatย shit, he's hot. you've met before, but it was only in passing. satoru's never around, and the extent of your relationship was a brief nod as he passed you in one of the many passageways in the gojo estate. in fact, you aren't entirely sure if he even knows who you are.
satoru gojo's well-known in japanโ€”not only is he the reason the gojo family has its reputation, but he's made quite a name for himself by being the most affluent and handsome of them all.ย 
you've heard stories about him back in his prime. most sound too far-fetched to be true, but the photos of him in his twenties that resurface from time-to-time make good material for your late-night fantasies.ย 
and satoru's even more intimidating in person. he's easily over six feet tall with well-defined muscles, and he's the definition of aย dilf. he's probably twice your age, but the glint in his eyes and casual arrogance in his stance makes him all the more attractive.
it's a shame his son is such a dickhead.
"are you one of my son's whores?" satoru asks dryly, eying the bra on the floor. you scowl and kick it away, a soft huff slipping through your lips.
"no, i'mโ€” wait, he never told you?" you cut yourself off with the question, a hint of incredulous disbelief in your tone.ย 
satoru shrugs, reaching up to ruffle his hair. his shirt slides up just enough to expose his abs, which areย really fucking hotย by any standards. "if you're asking about my son, he thankfully leaves me out of his sex life," he says amusedly. "so, who are you? and what the hell are you doing in my house this late?"
"iโ€”" well, you couldn't just say you were here to ruin his son's life. "uh, i'm his... girlfriend."
satoru barks out a laugh, looking down at you through his long, white eyelashes. "really? you sure you're dating my son?"
you narrow your eyes and nod. satoru shakes his head, slipping one of his hands in his pocket and gesturing to the bra on the floor with the other. "either youย aren'tย his girlfriend or you just found out he's cheating. which is it?"
well, you tried. "both." satoru raises his eyebrows at that and takes a seat on the chair across from his son's bed, exhaling as he does so.ย 
"so, sweetheart, what's the story?" he asks, a bored expression on his face. he leans back and spreads his legs enough for you to wonder what it'd be like to be in between them.ย 
not sensing that you really have a choice, you sit on the corner of his son's bed and start explaining. at first, you sugarcoat his son's actions, not wanting to sound like a whiny brat, but at one point he interjects with a sigh.
"i know my son," he says dryly, brushing his floppy white hair out of his eyes. "and i also know a liar when i see one."
"s' that so?" you mutter under your breath, ignoring the way satoru's eyes narrow at your side comment. from then on, you list every detail of just how shitty your ex was to you. you tell satoru how his son made you fold his clothes, how he dragged you to parties even when you swore you had homework, how he'd make you fuโ€”
you stop there, not wanting to divulge every detail of your sex life. sure, your ex forced you to fuck him every night in every way he knew existed from watching porn, but that wasn't for hisย dadย to know.
satoru, who's been listening intently for the last five minutes, studies your irritated expression thoughtfully. rather than comment on the way you suddenly stopped ranting, he asks, "so you're here for revenge?"
you nod, crossing your legs. satoru eyes you for another second before placing his hands on his knees and standing up with a soft grunt. "do whatever you want, but i want youย outย of my house in fifteen minutes. and whatever you do stays in this room. no fire."
satoru looks down at you and raises an eyebrow. "is that clear?"
it would be easier to agree if satoru wasn't looking down at you with an expression like that on his face. it's somewhere between mild irritation and disgustโ€”whether it's directed at you or his son, you're not sure, but he probably has better things to do than listen to some girl's breakup story. so you nod, and satoru starts to leave.
just before he steps out the door, you think of a really fucking insane ideaโ€”one that would absolutely shatter your ex. and for some reason, you say it out loud.
"you should fuck me."
oh my god.
satoru turns around slowly, hand clenched around his phone. "the fuck?"
you swallow, eyes wide and a stupid grin plastered on your face. "shit, iโ€”" you were ready to apologize for just about every word you've ever said, but satoru holds up his hand before you can start, cutting you off.
he scoffs, blue eyes glimmering with either amusement or annoyance. "you really are a piece of work, aren't ya?" satoru narrows his eyes, surveying you critically. his gaze settles on the way your shaky hands, and you hide them behind your back self consciously.
"you want me to fuck you on my son's bed?" he says dryly, stifling a laugh. when you force yourself to nod, he grins. "not bad, sweetheart. not bad at all."
"i-is that a yes?" you hate yourself for stuttering, but it makes satoru laugh.
"sure, why not?" he says, walking over to where you're still sitting on his son's bed and resting a hand on your shoulder. satoru rubs the side of your neck with his thumb, cerulean eyes fixed on your lips. "might be about time to teach my son a lesson anyways."
satoru's agreement surprises you enough to make your mouth fall open, and soon enough, his dick replaces the empty space between your lips.
"shit, you're takin' meย soย good, baby," satoru groans, hand tangled in your hair as he pushes his dick deeper into your throat. "yeah, that's it, jus' like thaโ€”ย fuck," he cuts himself off with a breathy laugh as you nearly choke.
he'sย big, way bigger than your ex, and you wonder how his dad's big dick gene skipped him. and even better, satoru's skilled too. he knows how to fuck you good, and you can tell that it's from experience, not from watching pornโ€”unlike his lame excuse of a son.
"tell me, sweetheart," satoru drawls, looking down at you with a cheeky smile. "was my son half as good as i am in bed?"
when you shake your head no, satoru clicks his tongue in disapproval. "shit, now y're gonna expectย every guy you fuck with to be as good as me. well, sorry 'bout that, because theyย aren't."
at least you know where his son gets his arrogance from.ย 
it's getting a little hard to breathe, especially since you have ten inches of dick shoved down your throat. despite all satoru's talk, you can tell that he's getting close to cumming down your throatโ€”his eyes are twitching and his breaths are starting to become more and more shaky as you suck him off. soon enough, the coil in his stomach snaps and he cums, cursing and praising you as he does. satoru's grip on your hair tightens, and it's borderline painful as he tugs you deeper by the hair.
"shit, that was the best head i've had in a while," he groans after his breathing starts to go back to normal. satoru grins at you, shaking his head and pinning you on your back on the bed.
"you've already been fucked by a gojo here, haven't you?" satoru cooes, tracing your jawline with one of his fingers. "tch, i'll fuck you better than my shithead son ever could. show ya the reason we gojos have a reputation for our dicks."
and fuck, he does. after quickly making you cum on his fingers with the excuse of loosening you up, he roughly shoves his dick in your already-throbbing pussy with a grin. he's soย fuckingย big that you've convinced he's gonna rip you in half.
"g-gojo, iย can'tโ€”"
"sure y'can," he cuts you off, jaw tightening as you tighten around him. "fuckin'ย hell, you're just tight as a virgin. my son must be shit in bed, yeah?"
"mhm," you hum, tilting back your head and gasping for air as you feel your body heat up. "shitโ€” right thereโ€”"
satoru grins, dipping his head and meeting your tear-lidded eyes. he's far from gentleโ€”it's barely been a couple minutes and your back is already in the highest arch of your life, and it's hard to form coherent thoughts as satoru continues bullying his cock into your pussy.
you lose track of time easilyโ€”fuck, you forget there's even a world outside of whatever this is. at some point your tongue falls out of your mouth, lolling to the side as your eyes roll backโ€”just a dumb slut for satoru; or at least that's what he calls you.
as you approach what must be the hundredth orgasm of the night, satoru asks you to say his name. it's almost embarrassing how much effort it is to sayโ€”he's fucked you dumb enough to the point where you're a babbling mess.
"shit, you can't even talk," satoru says with a grin, flicking your forehead playfully. "cute." he rests his elbow by your head and shoves his hand over your mouth, amusement dancing in his eyes. "you talk too much anyways, princess. take a break."
you whine against his hand and satoru shakes his head, a faux pout on his face. "c'mon, it's not like you can talk anyways," he tsks. his next thrust is particularly rough, and you can't seem to remember who the name of the dickhead who got you in this situationโ€”what was your ex's name again? does it matter?
"yeah i can" you mumble, voice muffled by satoru's hand. when his pout deepens, you can't help but giggle, a sound that soon turns to a squeal when he pushes the side of your face into the mattress.
"what's so funny?" satoru grumbles, dipping his head and pressing his lips against the hand seperating your mouth from his. satoru's glimmering eyes are fixed on yours as a cheeky smile spreads across his face. "fine then."
he pulls out, cursing under his breath as he presses his back to the headboard. satoru ignores theย hm?ย that slips out of your lips and removes his hand from your mouth, resting it on his dick instead and stroking it with a smirk. "what is it, princess?"
"whaโ€” why'd you stop?"
satoru lifts his other wrist, studying the watch on it and turning his hand so you can see too. your vision is still so fucked up that the numbers look like swimming otters, but you can vaguely make out the time.
"it's been fifteen minutes, kid. time to go."
your mouth falls open and you sit up, still breathing heavily. one second you're having the best sex of your life, and the next your ex's dad is calling youย kidย and telling you it'sย time to go?
"not fair," you mumble, pulling your legs into your chest and resting your head on your knees. "that was a stupid time limit," you huff, chest heaving. "i couldn't have done anything to him in fifteen minutes anyways."
satoru snorts, stretching his arms and resting his hands behind his head. "i'd say we didย somethingย in those fifteen minutes," he says dryly, white hair falling into his eyes.ย 
"hmph."
satoru raises his eyebrows, biting the inside of his lip as he continues stroking himself. you notice the way his abs flex and tense the closer he gets; something that shouldn't be as attractive as it is.
"can't believe my dumbass son fucked up so badly with a girl like you," he groans after a minute, back resting against the headboard as he continues stroking his dick. "won't be seein' you around here again, huh?"
you blink, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as satoru eyes you intently. "what d'you mean?"
before satoru can answer, the two of you hear footsteps, and before either of you can do anything, standing in the doorway to his own room is your ex, a giggling girl on his arm. the faint scent of alcohol floods through your nose as they stumble in, and it's all you can do to stop yourself from laughing when your ex sees that his bed is already occupied.
"why the hell is my dad in bed with my ex-girlfriend?!"
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sonicboomseason3 ยท 2 months
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a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:
paramount has come out in public support of israel
keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie
james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile
there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???
kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too
this is a complete and utter joke.
EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]
you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.
i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.
with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but likeโ€ฆ you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.
ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.
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pierregazly ยท 2 months
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but mama, i love him ๊จ„ oscar piastri smau
oscar piastri x leclerc!reader
the one where oscar's girlfriend has been soft launching their relationship for ages. and he's okay with it, especially if it means he can keep hiding in plain sight from her three overprotective brothers.
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ynleclerc
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tagged charles_leclerc
liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and others
ynleclerc omg omg omg... charles leclerc signed my hat? should i add it to the shrine? give them something to sacrifice?
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username any non-f1 fan would automatically assume ynleclerc is a crazy fan page for charles
username or a charles leclerc hate page... all she does it make fun of her brothers here
username she's offering her signed hat for the tifosi to sacrifice for a CL16 win??? that seems like pure love all around
arthur_leclerc i also signed your hat?
ynleclerc i also do not care? will a hat signed by you get me millions if i sell it for sacrificial purposes?
charles_leclerc what's next? my personal belongings?
ynleclerc is that an offer? if so, oui. i will take what i think will make me the most money next time i'm there, merci <3
scuderiaferrari if it gets us a 1-2 finish, sacrifice everything ynleclerc... please ๐Ÿ™
username being a Ferrari fan is so satisfying when you remember ynleclerc is an automatic inclusion in everything and anything charles does
username the things i would do to have her as a McLaren fan... she's too beautiful for Ferrari ๐Ÿ˜ญ
oscarpiastri a piastri hat will get you good money in straya btw
username oscar??
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oscarpiastri
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liked by logansargeant, landonorris, mclaren, and others
oscarpiastri 'stop hitting me with the ball on purpose you jerk' was said more times than it should've been, by someone who really just sucks at tennis. had an awesome week back home, time to get back to it ๐Ÿ’ช
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logansargeant no wonder you're so worried about getting run over
username the coordinating outfits?? i'm gonna scream, who is she!!!
username what does logan know, tell us your secrets girl logansargeant
username oscar is gonna soft launch this relationship until the end of time. show us her face, you coward!!
ynleclerc did you pay her for all the bruises that tennis ball left?? poor girl
oscarpiastri it's not my fault she's a terrible tennis player, we all know i've offered to pay for a trainer
landonorris so this is why you couldn't come to bali with me ๐Ÿคจ
username lando really said i'm the third wheel??
username to be fair i'd probably pick oscar's girlfriend over lando for a week away too
username girly you don't even know who she is!!! she could be the devil
username i wanna be included in oscar's post week home photo dump :(
ynleclerc has posted a story
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, pascale.leclerc.355, and others
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oscarpiastri you can call me pookie whenever you want if you're gonna post things like this
ynleclerc i'd call you pookie with or without your permission, mon amour
charles_leclerc who is this
charles_leclerc why won't you tell us who you're dating
charles_leclerc we won't hurt him
charles_leclerc answer my texts
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ynleclerc
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liked by oscarpiastri, pascale.leclerc.355, arthur_leclerc, and others
ynleclerc get you a man who can do both, luckiest woman in the world whenever you're around. mon amour ๐Ÿค
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username people involved in formula 1 and their obsession with soft launching everything NEEDS to be studied
username at least she posts her boyfriend and he isn't just a small figure in the background of every post (charles this is a direct hate comment)
arthur_leclerc this would have been very lovely if it weren't for the last photo
liked by charles_leclerc and lorenzotl
ynleclerc suppose it's a good thing you could easily ignore it. cheers :)
pascale.leclerc.355 trรฉs belle, ma fille ๐Ÿ’—
charles_leclerc maman?
username could you IMAGINE if ynleclerc told pascale but obviously hasn't told her brothers? i can FEEL the outrage
username starting to think this may be a driver, ynleclerc is at every race weekend and ALWAYS makes a post with her mystery man at some point during the week after...
username okay ms sleuth (i think it's lando)
username i'm like 65% sure it's oscar, and 35% positive it's someone that looks a lot like oscar
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ynleclerc
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tagged oscarpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and others
ynleclerc someone exposed us on twitter, so i had to expose us on instagram ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ
comments on this post have been limited
oscarpiastri love you <3
oscarpiastri i will love you even when a ferrari has run me over, of course.
arthur_leclerc is this your way of telling me i was right, without texting me back?
charles_leclerc this must be a joke, non?
pascale.leclerc.355 so very excited to finally be able to invite the both of you for dinner. trรฉs belle ๐Ÿค
charles_leclerc maman, you knew?
ynleclerc oscar and i will see you for sunday dinner, maman! <3
tresbelleleclercspam
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ynleclerc live feed of oscar running away from charles in the paddock when he said he 'just wanted to talk, mate'
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charles_leclerc i truly just wanted to talk about the race
charles_leclerc i did not have a speech planned, non
arthur_leclerc i did have a speech planned
lorenzotl i just wanted to welcome him to the family, as a good big brother should
oscarpiastri my apple watch warned me of an overactive heart rate 5 times today. why did you do this to me. why couldn't you have three sisters???
ynleclerc so very sorry, in our next life i'll try to make sure you only have to worry about sisters and not three overprotective brothers
oscarpiastri as long as i get to spend every lifetime with you <3
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i actually got a request for something like this ages ago, and finally got around to finishing it. i so hope you all loved it as much as i loved writing it. thank you for all the support!!
i'm not currently taking requests, but if anyone has lil suggestions or prompts please feel free to send them.
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decepti-thots ยท 2 years
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here's some advice for people new to tumblr i haven't seen around our parts yet... a very, very common current scam on this site to get some money out of folks is as follows:
You receive a message like the below, asking for a signal boost for a donation post pinned on their page; this is almost always for a pet.
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You check their page and it all looks legit. They have an icon/pfp, a bunch of reblogs rather than an empty blog, the pinned post has candid cat/dog/etc photos that look convincing, and there's a link to a normal looking gofundme in a lot of cases, with similarly realistic photos. They didn't even ask you to publish the ask specifically, they just want you to consider reblogging.
โ€ฆbut if you scroll down far enough, it turns out there's only like a week worth of random reblogs, no real other posts and no interaction with anyone else on the site. Which isn't in and of itself an issue- everyone joins Tumblr at SOME point- but maybe a red flag?
Inevitably, when you reverse image search the pet photos, they were nabbed off instagram or facebook or twitter or something. It's a scam.
I was getting 2-3 of these a week at one point, and all of them were convincing, probably because I doubt any of them were bots. this is a really common scam but not nearly as easily spotted as obviously automated phishing attempts; don't publish or donate to these. they're hoping your sense of sympathy, generosity and even guilt will override your suspicion at a rando asking you for money. delete 'em.
i just bring this up because i'm seeing a couple people in tf fandom getting these asks and going 'hey, signal boost!!!'' and while it's a very kind impulse... yeah, it's overwhelmingly scams, folks. sorry.
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copperbadge ยท 3 months
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AI Scraping Isn't Just Art And Fanfic
Something I haven't really seen mentioned and I think people may want to bear in mind is that while artists are the most heavily impacted by AI visual medium scraping, it's not like the machine knows or cares to differentiate between original art and a photograph of your child.
AI visual media scrapers take everything, and that includes screengrabs, photographs, and memes. Selfies, pictures of your pets and children, pictures of your home, screengrabs of images posted to other sites -- all of the comic book imagery I've posted that I screengrabbed from digital comics, images of tweets (including the icons of peoples' faces in those tweets) and instas and screengrabs from tiktoks. I've posted x-ray images of my teeth. All of that will go into the machine.
That's why, at least I think, Midjourney wants Tumblr -- after Instagram we are potentially the most image-heavy social media site, and like Instagram we tag our content, which is metadata that the scraper can use.
So even if you aren't an artist, unless you want to Glaze every image of any kind that you post, you probably want to opt out of being scraped. I'm gonna go ahead and say we've probably already been scraped anyway, so I don't think there's a ton of point in taking down your tumblr or locking down specific images, but I mean...especially if it's stuff like pictures of children or say, a fundraising photo that involves your medical data, it maybe can't hurt.
If you do want to officially opt out, which may help if there's a class-action lawsuit later, you're going to want to go to the gear in the upper-right corner on the Tumblr desktop site, select each of your blogs from the list on the right-hand side, and scroll down to "Visibility". Select "Prevent third party sharing for [username]" to flip that bad boy on.
Per notes: for the app, go to your blog (the part of the app that shows what you post) and hit the gear in the upper right, then select "visibility" and it will be the last option. If you have not updated your app, it will not appear (confirmed by me, who cannot see it on my elderly version of the app).
You don't need to do it on both desktop and mobile -- either one will opt you out -- but on the app you may need to load each of your sideblogs in turn and then go back into the gear and opt out for that blog, like how you have to go into the settings for each sideblog on desktop and do it.
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chuluoyi ยท 4 months
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โœŽ stupid liar
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- gojo satoru x reader
no way. impossible. you couldn't possibly be jealous of gravure idol gojo likes so much now... or could you?
genre: jealous!reader vs slightly jealous!gojo, crack, and obviously, fluff !!
note: based on this post :))
a part of gojo's love entries
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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"Look, Suguru~ Isn't she pretty?"
Your eye twitched at the sing-song voice, lips twisting into a scowl as you glanced at him from the corner of your twitching eye.
No. You don't care. Not in the slightest.
You stabbed your fork into your cheesecake with more fervor than necessary though.
"Eh?"
"Inoue Waka!" Satoru exclaimed with an enthusiasm that felt almost too bright. "This is her in her newest issue!"
โ€˜Newest issueโ€™ being a bikini special, with the said model lay sprawled in the most revealing piece possible. That indecent photo had also become the wallpaper and lockscreen on your boyfriend's phone, and he shamelessly showed it off with pride.
You steeled yourself. Again. No. It's not a big deal. You weren't jealous, especially not over some... heavily-altered picture of a porn actress!
"Ahh, she does look nice..."
You attacked your now-mutilated cheesecake again, feeling your mood plummet further after hearing Suguru's response. Now you were convinced, all men are dogs!
"โ€”but not exactly my type," he added quickly, his gaze darting towards you. His interest lay more in your reaction, which was why he stirred the pot further: "Is she your type, Satoru?"
Your boyfriend, whether oblivious or intentional, erupted into giddy laughter like a kid. "Ehh... why of course!"
His enthusiastic agreement seemed to echo louder in your ears than it probably should have. The cheesecake, once a treat, now felt like lead in your mouth.
That's it. One more time andโ€”
But then, Suguru's voice cut through your irritated thoughts again, clearly amused. "Well, but I've always thought real beauty lies not just in appearances but in strength of character. Wouldn't you agree, Satoru?"
You knew it, Suguru was indeed the best. You dared to glance up from your plate, curious about your cocky little clownโ€™s response. But you really shouldn't, because Satoru, the absolute cretin he wasโ€”
"Why are you getting philosophical all of sudden?" he sullenly grumbled. "Important thing is if she's hot, then she is hot." You could have sworn he briefly side-eyed you before saying, "And no one is hotter than Inoue Waka."
Stupid. Idiot. Insufferable.
Standing up, your patience dissipated into thin air. Your brisk pace made Shoko, who was beside Suguru, to quirk an eyebrow. "Oh, leaving already?"
"I'm going back. Have a practice."
"Ehh? You didn't say?" only now did your shameless boyfriend turned to you fully. "It's still break timeโ€”"
"Nanami is waiting for me, goodbye."
You didn't look back even once, too annoyed to notice that Satoru was gawking at your words.
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Satoru couldn't believe this. You ignored him. You actually didโ€ฆ in favor of Nanami!
He was starring daggers at how the two of you conversing so amiably across the hall. You were his girlfriend already, but he could barely able to make you look as sweet as you were with Nanami just now. You were always prickly with him!
Okay, but rest assuredโ€”with Suguru he may have doubts, but with Nanami, he was convinced he outshone him by a wide margin, perhaps even ten or twenty times over!
"Why are you sparring with him?" he was sulking when he caught you on the way back to the dorms after school. "Why not Haibara instead?"
You scoffed. "And why do you idolize Inoue Waka and not Yuzuki Tina?"
Oh, so that's what this is about. Suddenly, he didn't feel as miffed as a stupid grin split his face. "Ooh, you're looking into gravure idols too?"
"..."
"Heh, if you're doing it for research purpose, that's totally okay~"
"..."
"Pfft, you're so jealous it's so great to watchโ€”"
You halted abruptly, your annoyance now at its peak. Facing your infuriating boyfriend, you leveled a piercing glare at him that caught him off-guard. "Gojo, from today onwards, we're having a ban."
"Whoa, heyโ€”"
"โ€”and in the meantime, you can print Inoue Waka out of your phone, hang her in your dorm and kiss your wall insteadโ€”"
"Just a minute!" Satoru interjected, eyes rounded with slight alarm. "Don't be too hasty!"
He looked at you, really looked at you, and saw that you were actually upset.
A twinge of... what is it? Some kind of guilt, he supposed, pricked his chest. He didn't like seeing you like this, especially knowing he had played a part in it. You should be smiling sweetly and catching his heart with it, not frowning like this.
"Hey," he started, his voice softening as a small, sincere smile crept onto his face. You continued to look away, a stubborn pout fixed on your lips. Darn it, how did you manage to look cute while angry too?
"Look at me, I'm all yours, okay?"
That got you to shoot him a sharp glance, and boohoo!โ€”the ice in your heart thawed slightly as you met his smile, which soon evolved into a toothy grin.
But then, in one swift strike, he pulled his phone out and took a snap of your very-not-ready face.
"Satoru!" you screamed in panic, trying to climb over him to pluck his phone. "No! Delete that!"
"Ah ah," he crisply snickers, raising his hand with the phone high above where you couldn't reach. After pressing a few buttons, he triumphantly showed you his phone screen, now displaying your flop picture in all of its glory.
"That's seriously awful!" you grimaced, a look of horror in your face. "Satoru, for realโ€”"
โ€œYouโ€™re adorable,โ€ he countered almost immediately, his smile wide and unabashedโ€”the very winning smile that won your heart. โ€œMy girl is cute as heck and you know what the best part is? Sheโ€™s mine.โ€
. . .
โ€”okay, you were now positively melting. This was irritating, how can you forgive him this easily?
You huffed, raising your chin high to cover the very sizzling heat in your cheeks. "Hmph. Keep that photo then. But I'm still sparring with Nanami though."
"Mm-hmm, whatever. I hope his foul hairstyle won't affect youโ€”"
"Don't badmouth him! Wait, don't tell me... you feel threatened by him?"
"Wha? Why would I!? I have the better face, better walletโ€”!"
Together, you walked back to the dorms, the evening air somehow felt lighter around you. Satoru's hand found yours along the way, and the two of you kept up a playful banter, followed by shared giggles afterwards.
. . .
What you didn't realize, however, was that there was another reason behind Satoru's happy laughter... his secret little mission had been a smashing success~
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Epilogue
โ€œI put too much faith in Y/N. Iโ€™m disappointed.โ€
โ€œWe are paying Gojo, damn it.โ€
Suguru and Shoko let out collective sighs, looking at the two of you. They witnessed your little outburst and that sealed everything.
You used to not give in to so easily. Unfortunately now, you were whipped for that idiot too, enough to get jealous over him.
As Suguru opened his wallet, a realization struck. โ€œShoko, now that I think about itโ€ฆ why am I always losing these bets?โ€
โ€œYou could just suckโ€ฆ or maybe," she glances him over before letting out a snort. "Your bangs just bring bad luck?โ€
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omgthatdress ยท 5 months
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The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.
When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.
Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.
When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.
A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.
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I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.
In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:
youtube
Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.
Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.
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They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.
Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.
Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.
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pixiesndberries ยท 6 months
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๐ƒ๐„๐€๐‘ ๐…๐”๐“๐”๐‘๐„ ๐‡๐”๐’๐๐€๐๐ƒ, ๐‰๐‰๐Š ๐Œ๐„๐ โ€”
a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !
โ˜† OUR STARS : Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !
โ” REQUESTED BY : none
โ”โ  WARNINGS : none
เท† PIXIE'S NOTE ! : heya pookies I know it's been a while ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป but here I am creating another series to pay off the days I wasn't posting so much โ€”โ  forgive me my pookies ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ we have holiday break so I'm going to grind a lot ๐Ÿ˜
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NANAMI KENTO, as your husband !
โ€ข Nanami is the perfect standard for male wife, argue with the wall โ€”โ  this man knows how to cook, clean his home, does his own laundry, and mostly basic life skills that most men barely know which is pretty much a big turn on.
Nanami who always supports your decision as long as it doesn't have any bad effects in your life, he respects you a lot to whatever you do in your life โ€”โ  he thinks that just because you are married it doesn't mean he have full possession on you, though sometimes when you asked for his opinions about your decisions in such situations he isn't shy of what he thinks.
Nanami the type of husband who will always do small and big things for you even though you can do it yourself โ€”โ  carrying groceries for you, helping you in the kitchen, sending you to your work, helps you clean the house, and goes to the mall with you.
; he surprisingly took the shopping bags form your hands gently "your hands will get numb, this is pretty heavy." he says with his usual tone as he looks at you softly, you can't help but to smile in his small little gestures and gosh it's making her heart melt.
"thank you, kento." you say as you gave him a big smile and pressed a kiss on his cheeks making him grin.
Nanami who is being a worrywart when you don't reply quickly when you're out with your friends late night โ€”โ 
; kento | sent a message.
10:24 pm
kento : just got home love โค๏ธ
kento : what time are you going home?
11:04 pm
kento : love, tell me when you're going home I'll pick you up โค๏ธ
kento : is everything going alright?
kento : kind of worried, hope you respond soon ๐Ÿ˜…
11:07 pm
kento : please reach out to me when you can so I can pick you up โ˜บ๏ธ
kento : I'm worried ๐Ÿ˜ข
you : love I'm fine sorry, we we're drinking just a tiny bit ๐Ÿ˜ญ
you : you can pick me up now ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ
Nanami the type of husband to use cringe emojis but you appreciate it anyways, he barely use his phone or try to use emojis โ€”โ  headcanon : he learned using emojis from yuji or gojo ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป you find it silly and cute anyways.
Nanami who's phone is always filled with your photos and some sceneries with you in it โ€”โ  he doesn't like taking photos of himself that much though, he loves taking photos of you and look through it when he's not busy or when he misses you and he's at work.
Nanami when he learned how to use Instagram and he can't stop posting you โ€”โ  Gojo probably tried influencing him to use social media once and he was like no??? not until one time you took a photo of him during one of your dates and you asked him, "hey can I post this?" and of course he said yes and after that you kept posting him at some times which led him to the idea of posting you as well since he thinks you deserve it too.
; nanami.kento1990
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tagged : @y/n.igcom | โค๏ธ
itaaa.yuji and 13 others liked this post.
gojosatoru | he knows how to use Instagram ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ???
gojosatoru | WHO TAUGHT YOU โ‰๏ธ
itaaa.yuji | first post !!
nobaraaaa | parents ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
Nanami who is nervous to talk about the future he wants with you โ€” not totally nervous it's more like when you talked about kids you wanted soon with him he will always be like, "sure I also thought about that." with his usual tone but deep inside talking about it was his hyper fixation and he can't stop thinking about it.
Nanami who never in his life forget about giving you flowers in small or big occasions โ€”โ 
; "happy mother's day." he says softly with a grin in his face as he hands you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, "kento, I'm not a mother yet." you laugh as you take the bouquet from him, admiring the flowers for a second. He never fails to make you feel happy, "maybe soon?" he chuckles then makes his way to give you a hug. "sure." you laughed and happily hugged him back tightly, exchanging I love you.
Nanami who never left by your side especially when you are not okay, he will leave his work for a day or even weeks if you really need him by your side โ€”โ  he will never get tired of comforting you; if you need a shoulder to cry on? He's there. He can stay all day in bed with you to make you feel better โ€”โ  take you out in a vacation if that's what you really need or probably do every house chores just to make you rest.
โ”€ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
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hedgehog-moss ยท 8 months
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Pampรฉrigouste escaped today and I almost didn't make a post about it because it's just more of the same isn't it? do people who read this blog really want to hear about yet another Pampe escape? Then I thought, that's like asking if people who read detective novels really want to hear about yet another mysterious murder. Probably yes. Also Pampe would have been offended to have such a successful escape go unreported.
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I would like to say that my new fence is still fully Pampe-proof. She has not escaped a single time through breaking or outsmarting the fence, so now she does it by outsmarting me. Which doesn't happen all that often, because we are intellectual equals. But I let my guard down this morningโ€”I'd just peeled some greenhouse carrots to make purรฉe and I went into the pasture to distribute the peelings even though it was raining (see how I got punished for my selflessness?), and I left the gate open because I was right in front of it, obstructing it with my body.
Pampe dropped her carrot peelings and acted like she couldn't find them even though they were right under her feet, so I took pity on her and crouched down to gather them and offer them to her again (see how I'm getting punished for my compassion??) and she took advantage of this diversion. In the span of 0.2 seconds she slithered around me and she was out. It was a little bit beautiful. I don't know if you remember this photo of Pampe & Pyrgus, but it's a perfect illustration of what happened:
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I sighed and ignored her and finished distributing the peelings to the other animals, and then went to the barn to get muesli to lure my nuisance back to her pasture. After escaping she initially ran towards the woods, but since I ignored her the whole time, she emerged from the woods when I returned, like, wait, did you notice I escaped? Behind your back, just earlier? Did you notice how I won and you lost?
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It shouldn't have been difficult to get her back into the pasture with the help of her favourite snack; unfortunately Pampoldine is still a big baby who was distraught that her mum had left her behind yet again (she should be used to it, honestly, it's been like this since she was an infant), she started making these little panicky noises that Pampe has never paid any attention toโ€”
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โ€”so when I propped the gate open with a branch to get Pampe back inside, Poldine hurried out instead. I wasn't expecting this, I thought it was clear that I had the situation under control and her mum would be back in 5 seconds. You could have just waited 5 seconds, Poldine.
Pampelune had no interest in escaping, but she's the matriarch and where her herd goes, she goes, so once the other two were out she barrelled past me as well. I opened the gate to bring 1 llama in and instead 2 llamas went out. Pirlouit besides me was like
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For some reason the llamas galloped towards the road, instead of just hanging out in the woods where there's stuff to eat. Maybe because Pampe hadn't gone out in a long time and she wanted to be admired for her feat. Her wish was grantedโ€”2 cars stopped to say hi as I was miserably trotting after my llamas on the road in the rain. One of them was the post office lady who once herded my animals out of a pasture with her car, and she was like hop in, it'll be like old times!!!
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The two people who stopped their car were enchanted with the encounter and they both told me that they missed the days when Pampe Sightings on this road were a regular thing. No one sides with my fence in the Pampe v. Fence conflict. I love the post office lady though, she had a Niagara song playing in her car when I got in and a minute later I muttered "I'll sell her to the butcher" and she started singing "Pampe โ™ช Je vais devoir te vendre au boucher โ™ซ" to the tune of that song. It fit the tune really well, too.
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After we managed to get the llamas off the main road and back in the woods, she was like, godspeed, I wish I could continue chasing them with you but I have to go make lunch for my kids. I told her that now that the llamas were no longer on the road I'd just let them roam, they'll come home before night, no way I'm going to chase after them in the woods in this dog weather. So I went home and grumpily resumed peeling carrots and potatoes for my mash.
I sat in front of the window to do it so I could keep an eye on Pirlouit, who was wandering around the pasture like a cursed soul, drenched with rain, lonely and llamaforsaken. Sometimes he brayed to try and guide his friends back home, wherever they were, but he never brayed while I was filming. His braying is a poignant display of emotion and is not for public consumption.
I figured, if the llamas come back Pirou will spot them and perk up his immense ears, and I'll know to go out and open the gate. Instead at some point I looked up from my potatoes and saw my donkey finally at peace, grazing rather than pacing restlessly, and I went to look outside and his friends were back! And so was his appetite.
I had new peelings + some muesli to offer, but of course Pampe could tell this offering was a crude and blatant trap and refused to fall for it. Meanwhile her innocent daughter was like yay, snacks :) and followed me in the pasture, a llama entirely devoid of wiles.
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After I got Poldine back inside I went like WELL since NOBODY else wants that delicious MUESLI I guess these deserving chickens can have itโ€”and Pampe was here in the blink of an eye to shoo the hens away from her muesli.
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She was grudgingly smiling about it, too. Like, point for you.
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I love this pic where my chicken looks like she's herding the animals back in their pasture all by herself.
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Everyone is home! Pampe and Pandolf are walking away in search of new adventures, Poldine follows her mum because of her abandonment issues, and Pirlouit is also following everyone very closely, like, I'm not getting left behind again.
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I finally managed to cook my mashed carrots & potatoes (+ herbs from the greenhouse) and it's so nice to make food with nothing but ingredients you grew yourself! (To be completely honest I only managed to grow 3 carrots in the past few months but that's because I neglected them in pursuit of more flashy summer vegetables)
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I also had an apple-plum compote for dessert made with my own fruit <3 Okay, the cheese course in between was store-bought. One of my friends really wants me to get goats and be self-sufficient in cheese and when I told her I would be constantly chasing my goats over hill and dale because they have a reputation to be insufferable escape artists she was like, what difference will it make to your life...
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matchingbatbites ยท 10 months
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"What the fuck did you do?"
Eddie wasn't expecting hostility when he answered Jeff's phone call, his best friend's usual calm demeanor replaced with open annoyance. And yeah, okay, the annoyance itself wasnโ€™t new, but Eddie doesnโ€™t think heโ€™s actually done anything recently to earn it.
"Well-"
"Actually, no. I'll tell you what you did. You retweeted photos of Steve Harrington - internationally beloved heartthrob actor Steve Harrington - along with the caption 'not to sound like a subby slut but GOD I would be his puppy baby boy in a heartbeat'. So I guess the better question is, what the fuck were you thinking, Eddie?"
Eddie's jaw clicks shut because- yeah, he had done that. Had seen those photos of Steve smoking circling the internet and spent god knows how long just staring at them, had curbed the desire to shove his hand down his pants by posting a single thirst tweet about it.
โ€œI was thinking, Jeff, that I'm allowed to post whatever I want to my private fucking twitter, man. I mean it's a free country, isn't a guy allowed to make a horny tweet about a sexy man every now and then?โ€
โ€œYou are, when you actually post it to your private account and not our award winning band's main account.โ€
No. Oh no. There's no way Eddie actually-
He rips his phone away from his face to open twitter, and realizes two things simultaneously. One, Jeff is right, he had posted it to the band's account. Not on his private, locked, personal account, but on the account that's actually open and free for literally anyone on earth to look at.
The second thing he realizes is that their notifications are currently flooded with responses to Eddie's tweet, somehow racking up into the thousands in the few hours it's been since.ย 
Jesus Christ.
โ€œEddie?โ€
The metalhead jerks back into the moment and put Jeff on speaker so he can scroll through the horde of replies, says โ€œFuck, I fucked up. Are we gonna have to do damage control on this?โ€
In the mess is a reply from Gareth's own personal account: @ corrodededdie stop tweeting from the band account challenge ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
โ€Maybe. There hasn't been any type of response from Harrington or his people, but they might ask us to take it down if it blows up too much.โ€œ
Eddie hums, thinking they might be too little, too late about it blowing up too much, and flips over to his main account so he can reply to Gareth's little jab appropriately. He isn't surprised to see that he has a couple of new messages, probably from other people wondering just what the fuck Eddie was thinking, but when he goes to check them-
He's never been happier that he turned on messages from followers only, because then he would have missed this, missed Steve Harrington's little profile picture beaming up at him from the screen of his phone, along with a new message request.
โ€Jeff, I gotta go,โ€ he says, not even realizing he's cut the other man off.
โ€œEddie, what-
โ€Harrington messaged me. I'll call you back.โ€œ
Eddie doesn't wait for a response as he hangs up on Jeff, and his hands definitely aren't shaking as he opens the message from Steve. And listen- Eddie is a fan of the guy, that much should be obvious.ย 
Steve had grown in popularity around the same time Corroded Coffin had; heโ€™d gotten some part in a drama film that had skyrocketed him into stardom, and Eddie fell in love the moment he saw that gorgeous face on the silver screen for the first time. He's never had a chance to interact with the guy, has been in the same place a few times but always missed him, like ships passing in the night, but Eddie's been fine with pining from afar, just like every other person on the planet that's even remotely attracted to men.
Besides, even with how popular Corroded Coffin has gotten over the years - a couple of Grammyโ€™s here, a dozen chart topping metal songs there - Eddie doesnโ€™t expect Steve to just. Know who Eddie is.
With all of this in mind, Eddie is expecting some kind of semi-casual request to take the tweet down, that it's not a good look for his image-
Anything other than what Steve actually sent.
'If you're puppy baby boy, does that make me Master? Or Daddy?'
And Eddie-ย 
Eddie slides down, sinks into his couch cushion as all of the blood in his body suddenly shifts, rushing to fill his dick like it's a fucking race. The phone almost slips out of his hand and he fumbles it briefly before taking a deep breath.ย 
Is Steve serious? He wouldn't send that if he wasn't serious, right?
This could be it, could be Eddie's one chance to impress Steve, to get his foot in the door of Steve's interest. He bites his lip and types out a reply, something quick that he sends before he can change his mind.
โ€˜Iโ€™m open to either, actually. Do you have a preference, sir?โ€™
He doesnโ€™t expect the typing indicator to come up immediately, and just knowing that Steve is somewhere right now, typing out a response to Eddie, is enough to have him nearly vibrating in his seat.
โ€˜Iโ€™m partial to Daddy, myself.โ€™
Fuck fuck fuck.
Eddie takes a breath, tries to think of a response that isnโ€™t just โ€˜Please, Daddy, can I sit on your massive dick that I havenโ€™t been able to stop thinking about since that one indie film you did that just had all of your junk out in the open?โ€™
Steve saves him by sending another message.
โ€˜But maybe we could start with Steve, and possibly dinner? Though Iโ€™d be happy to see where things go after that.โ€™
He- What-
Eddie must have stopped breathing, because the next time he takes a breath his lungs burn, his mid races because thereโ€™s no way Eddieโ€™s long term celebrity crush just asked him on a date. He sits there long enough that the screen goes dark and he scrambles to turn it back on, sees the message still there, real and unchanged.
Thereโ€™s no way he can say no to this, to Steve, and his hands shake as he types out a response.
โ€˜Dinner would be great. Just name the time and place, Daddy.โ€™
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suguruverse ยท 4 months
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เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš being best friends with ! satosugu
gojo satoru, geto suguru
notes # continuing my legacy with my loves <33 mayhaps poly relationship post next ๐Ÿ˜Œ ALSOO thereโ€™s a mix of school days and adult hcs so ENJOY!!!!!
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เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš satosugu being the type of best friends to either be walking 5 feet away from you or directly squashing you between them without giving you any space to breathe. suguru tends to keep a safe distance while on walks together, preferring just staying arm to arm whereas satoru ignores any personal boundaries and LOVES to walk while linking arms.
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš when thereโ€™s no classes and no missions to go on they also invade your dorm to hang out even if it means just being in each others presence even if youโ€™re all on your phones or even having fun little game nights. OR you and satoru love barging in suguruโ€™s room whenever he ignores your texts asking to hang out
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš you and satoru love drawing little things on suguruโ€™s face whenever he falls asleep and taking selfies with him passed out on your bed. and itโ€™s all fun and games until he wakes up and chases you guys around with one of his curses
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš they LOVE crashing girls nights with you and shoko. gossiping, making cookies, doing some skincare, doesn't matter. THEY ARE THERE!!!!
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš gojo cannot shut up around you!!! genuinely whenever you two are together, there is never a silent moment. and when he isn't talking he just starts singing and serenading you until you give him attention
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš sometimes you and suguru will have these cute little inside jokes with each other after coming back from a mission without satoru and if you guys ever bring it up in front on him, he will start whining to stop leaving him out and start fake laughing to feel included.
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš unfortunate for you but they love posting bad photos of you and will laugh at them in front of you. will probably make a competition of who can take the ugliest one
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš sometimes you try to fake flirt with suguru for funsies because he never seems like the type to get flustered easily and he normally never really goes along with it, only pinching your cheek really hard but on the rare occasion that he flirts back, he's so smooth with it that you have to hide your face in your hands while he laughs at you
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš if you happened to get injured during a mission, suguru always carries you back to your dorms until satoru complains so that suguru throws him over his shoulder so that he's carrying both of you. everything is fun and games until satoru doesn't shut up and suguru "accidentally" drops him
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš they're very much actions over words type of people. satoru says a lot of shit but when it comes down to those deep emotional talks then hes basically useless. so they love doing small things for you that you think they don't notice but you do
เฉˆโœฉโ€งโ‚Šหš so random but satoru has definitely tried to pull down suguru's pants in public and had failed horrendously
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redbullgirly ยท 5 months
Text
Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]
Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]
Masterlist
Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?
Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.
yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others
tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll
yourusername life lately... how about you? ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ’
view all 3209 comments
user1 more like: life lately ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ
user2 LOL
lance_stroll life lately has been great โค๏ธ
liked by the author
user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!
user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it
user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?๐Ÿคจ
user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ
user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol
user7 she's so classy a love it!๐Ÿ˜ป
user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?
fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!๐Ÿ˜‰
fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?
yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!
fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: ๐Ÿ’€
yourusername ๐Ÿ’€
user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!
user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts
user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's๐Ÿ˜ญ
user12 nah she ain't even that pretty
user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?๐Ÿค 
user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on
user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd
user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???
user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money
user12 plus she ugly af
user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...
user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter
user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors
user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing๐Ÿ˜‚
astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there๐Ÿ˜
user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD
user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!
twitter
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yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories
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yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others
tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll
yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ†
view all 4022 comments
astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!๐Ÿคฉ
liked by the author
user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else
astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it ๐Ÿ˜™
user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters
user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing๐Ÿ™„
user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point
user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger
user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ
user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd
user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...
lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! ๐Ÿฅณโค๏ธ
yourusername love you baby!!!๐Ÿ’ž
user7 favourite wag๐Ÿ˜‚ good joke๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??
user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake
user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic๐Ÿ˜ป
user11 YUUUCCKK๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ
user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!
user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it โœจkarmaโœจ lol
user14 maybe he escaped from her basement๐Ÿ˜ญ
user15 ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š
user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all
user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??๐Ÿ’€
user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself
user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer
user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD
user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped
messages between Y/N and Lance
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lance_stroll posted on instagram
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liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, f1 and 330,219 others
tagged: yourusername
lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.
In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.
Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart โค๏ธ
view all 4823 comments
user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...๐Ÿ˜“
yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!๐Ÿ’–
lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!๐Ÿ˜Œ
user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up
astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!๐Ÿ’š proud to say we were never a hater๐Ÿ˜˜
user3 i still think it's fake
fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake๐Ÿคช
user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo
user5 That's how you shut them up xd
fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER
user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther
liked by fernandoalo_oficial
user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso๐Ÿ˜ญ
user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
f1 What a beautiful couple you are!๐Ÿ™Œ Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!๐Ÿ˜
user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here
user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ
lilymhe pretty giiiirl
lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!โค๏ธ
yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing
user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?๐Ÿฅน Lance really has some poetic talent!
liked by yourusername
user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it๐Ÿ˜‚
user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm
user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you๐Ÿซข
chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!๐Ÿฅฐ
liked by the author and yourusername
yourusername ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ
user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!
yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others
tagged: lance_stroll and dior
yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does ๐ŸŒนโค๏ธ
comments have been limited
lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption
liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial
lilymhe also alex_albon me when??
dior Wow!โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ
lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.
yourusername daaammn baby
lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts ๐Ÿ˜Œ
kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?๐Ÿ˜
yourusername anytime you want!!!๐Ÿ’•
astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team๐Ÿ’š
fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin
astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??
yourusername aaah let him have his moment
fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED
yourusername ๐Ÿซข
THE END
Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!
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shooting-love-arrows ยท 7 months
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๐˜๐€๐๐ƒ๐„๐‘๐„! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽ'๐ฌ! ๐‡๐Ž๐”๐’๐„๐‡๐”๐’๐๐€๐๐ƒ reacts to...cheater! reader
Request made by Anon:
Hi! I just read your post about yan 1950 house husband, it's amazing. Can you write his reaction if reader cheated on him? If you don't feel comfortable with this ask, feel free to ignore this.ย  Remember to take care of yourself and have a nice day.
Hello to you too, dear Anon,
First of all, I must apologize but your request suddenly disappeared from my inbox! Thankfully, I have the content of your request saved in my google docs so I pasted it above.ย 
Putting that aside, although this topic is sensitive to some, I am fine with writing about that.ย 
I appreciate your words. It's very nice of you to think about little ol' me. I wish you a nice day too (even if it's not a daytime)!
Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon!
PAIRING: ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ x [CHEATER!] reader (gender not specified/mentioned/implied), your lovers genger isn't specified/mentioned/implied either. Don't be swayed by the curses used to describe them; Tw. cheating/indifelity from the reader, cursing, description of a m*urder, delusion (delulu is the solulu), emotional manipulation, gaslightning; A/N: As a person, I do not support this kind of behavior. This is only a piece of fiction, serving for entertaining purposes only.
๐ฆ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ
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Denial. Denial. Denial. At first ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ doesnโ€™t believe it. No, he refuses to do so. Youโ€™re the most faithful and perfect partner known to the human kind. Right then, he's desperately holding on to that image. But unfortunately, evidence says otherwise. A simple photo, sent to him by your lover, secretly taken by some photographer is clearly showing you and (that whore) your lover, in some hotel room, in an intimate position. It is clear that day that you have an affair.ย 
โ€œBut what if my darling was forced to do this?โ€
That question sends him into a spiral of delusion, rage and sorrow. As a defence mechanism, ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ made up a story where suddenly you were a victim in this whole situation. It was definitely your lover who has forced themselves on you. Probably blackmailed or worse, drugged you to have a taste of sweet love and burning passion you share while making love with him.ย 
โ€œMy poor darlingโ€ฆโ€ ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ wailed, clenching his chest like someone was physically ripping away his still beating heart from it. Fat tears ran down his rosy cheeks, smudging his mascara and turning him into a crying mess. โ€œIโ€™ll avenge you, my darling. I wonโ€™t forgive what was done to you!โ€
He doesnโ€™t even blink when he sends your lover into the pits of hell. Thereโ€™s no hesitation when ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ plans this hideous crime, making sure every detail is taken care of. And so, it begins small, like creating false and disgusting rumors about your lover. Day by day, he patiently destroys your lover's life. Until the day when ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ poisons them through his signature pie and then proceeds to repeatedly stab your lover until no one is able to recognize them in the first place.ย 
"YOU WENCH!" ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ roared at the person who happened to be your lover. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!" With every word he dove the sharp, kitchen knife deeper and harder into his victim's chest. "DIE!!" ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ yelled for the final time and knife one last time, straight in this whore heart. He was left alone in the empty and messy kitchen, covered in blood, panting and trying to catch his breath.ย 
In the end, ๐˜๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ๐ž! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽโ€™๐ฌ! ๐‡๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ก๐ฎ๐ฌ๐›๐š๐ง๐ begins to gaslight you. Once again, with the patience of a saint, he began to manipulate you to believe that it was in fact your lover who was using you all this time. You were forced into this vile affair and you are a victim.ย 
โ€œMy innocent darling, you mustn't think about it (them) anymore. I will make everything perfect once again.โ€
But isnโ€™t it weird how he started wearing clothes that are scarily similar to those worn by your lover? Sniffโ€ฆsniffโ€ฆand those perfumesโ€ฆ
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All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.
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copperbadge ยท 2 months
Text
Let's Talk About Missing Persons
So, I've seen this post circulating last week, and a few others like it in the past year. I think this probably needs to be discussed every few years, and it feels like time.
First, a few caveats: there are reports on the post that Abby has been located and is fine, so no need to reblog and also that's great news, I'm very happy she is safe. Second, I did not especially doubt the veracity of the post, so I'm not impugning the people who made and posted it, but I also declined to reblog it for reasons I'll get into. Third, I know that especially in marginalized communities it can be dangerous to involve the police, and that Missing White Woman Syndrome means it can be difficult to get media coverage. I understand why Abby's community may have chosen to search for her in the way they did.
However, for everyone's safety, I do not link any missing persons post that requires you to contact an individual to report the missing person's whereabouts. If the poster doesn't ask you to contact the police or a known missing persons organization, I won't do it.
This is for the safety of the missing person.
When you see a post with someone's photo, name, and last known whereabouts, and you are asked to contact an individual -- a family member, partner, friend, etc -- what you are being asked to do is report on the whereabouts of one person you don't know to another person you don't know. You don't know that the person you're talking to isn't an abusive partner or parent, a stalker, or a person who means them material harm. One of the Insta accounts in the missing image doesn't appear to exist, and another has no bio and very little captioning on their images. I couldn't verify that Abby even knew these people.
Again: when I looked at the image, it looked sincere to me. I didn't doubt those people were earnestly searching for a friend they were worried about. But also, an abuser doesn't look like an abuser until they do. So I don't make exceptions, because a missing person is missing but a victim outed to their abuser has strong odds of being murdered. The most dangerous time in the life of an abused person is when they are leaving their abuser. Even if a victim simply logs on to say "Hey, I'm fine, these people mean me harm" the abuser has now flushed them out of hiding, and manipulated them into making a public statement.
If you can't verify positively that the person searching does not mean the missing person harm, you should not be circulating a post, full stop. At the very least, if the community doesn't wish for the help of the police (understandable) or can't get the help of an organization or community (frequent), the missing persons poster should advise you to speak to the missing person, not the searcher, and notify them they're being sought, as long as it's safe for both you and them to do so.
This isn't intuitive. We want to help, and search posters like that tug on the heartstrings. We know that when the police get involved even in something this innocuous, it can be perilous for everyone. But in situations where someone is so vulnerable, we have to concern ourselves first with harm reduction, which in this case means not spreading someone's photo with a stranger's contact information on it.
I'm glad Abby was found and is fine and that her searchers were in earnest. But that will not always be the case, and it's important to remember that.
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