Woe, Crack Baby Shitten au be upon thee.
(@bamsara 's little doodle of Nari being dubbed Cult Babysitter and holding a little lamb irrevocably changed my brain chemistry. So of course, I'm now making it everyone else's problem with the headcanon that Narinder is good with children of all ages.)
A couple of months before Lamb gets captured, they meet another lamb or a very small flock that have to split up very quickly after meeting since there's more chance of the lamb species surviving if they aren't all together. In the meeting, Lamb agrees to try continue the lamb species and gets pregnant via *magic* or afab.
Of course, all of the lambs are captured and killed with Lamb being the last, still a few months away from giving birth.
But then they are chosen and resurrected by The One Who Waits.
Fun fact: a fetus can survive for a few minutes after the death of the carrier. (Also this is a world with magic and gods in it. Logic means nothing to me.)
Lamb starts their cult, crusades across the lands and meets all sorts of allies and enemies. All while quietly mourning their entire species and the child that never would be.
Right up until they go into labour.
The baby is lamb through and through with soft wool, wide eyes, tiny cloven hooves and floppy ears.
But the influence of the crown is blazingly obvious since the baby's wool is jet black and they have three red eyes.
I can't tell which would be funnier. Lamb giving birth in The Lonely Shack or while they are physically in The Gateway just post-beating Leshy. Like they were in active labour right throughout fighting Leshy and had no idea. Either way, it's Shocked Pikachu .jpeg all around. (My fucking KINGDOM for a doodle of this.)
Various dot point shenanigans under the cut
There are two ways to go about this. But either way, Baby is not staying in the Cult. Too dangerous, especially if word gets to the Bishops about there being another lamb. So Lamb can and will speed-run this shit. So it takes them about 4-6 years to fully defeat the Bishops.
Baby stays with Ratau:
Lamb goes and yells at TOWW. They are panicking because they have no idea how to raise a probably-half-god baby.
Narinder has no idea what happened right up until Lamb comes in screaming about him being a Baby Daddy and child support.
Ratau is Grandpa now. This is his fate. He embraces the Grandpa life.
Baby learns how to play knucklebones before they can speak.
Shrumy tries to wager with Lamb/Ratau for the whole Baby. Once and only Once.
Baby's first word is dice. Or die.
Baby worships TOWW, but they are a Baby and don't really comprehend worship so the small shrine gets a lot of flowers, neat rocks and some drawings. Narinder always gives a lot of gold for them. And No, it's not favouritism. Shut up.
Baby knows curses. This is concerning for everyone except Baby.
Baby gets a little TOWW doll. It's their favourite, it goes everywhere with them and washing it is a nightmare for everyone involved.
Baby is jokingly referred to as TOWW's most Devoted Follower because of the doll.
↑ this action will have consequences.
When Baby is not so baby, they make stuff out of their wool for TOWW and for his disciples. Or asks their parent to help them make stuff.
Cue Lamb awkwardly giving the three some very wonky scarves or hats.
Baal loves it.
Aym refuses to take his off. Ever.
Narinder is actually upset cause his doesn't fit. He's too big. He had to wear it like a little ring.
Or Baby stays/is brought to the Gateway ala Aym and Baal situation:
If Lamb gives birth in the Gateway, everyone is getting a free midwifery education and free trauma. The cats want a refund.
Ya know when a baby instinctively clasps their little hand around a finger and it's like a crime to pull away? That but with Narinder's big ass claw that Baby can only barely cling to.
Aym cries the first time he holds Baby.
Baal straight-up refuses to give Baby back for a good hour.
Lamb visits at least once a day.
Lamb also brings baby things since a baby will do what a baby will do.
Depending on how old Aym and Baal were when they were gifted, Narinder is either learning all of this for the first time or is reminded of how challenging baby care can be.
Narinder purrs = a zonked Baby.
Baby's first word is Vessel.
Baby is taught to fight. Lamb doesn't like it but accepts it.
Baby has a little lamb doll. It is only due to the fact the afterlife doesn't have dirt that they avoid the nightmare of trying to wash it.
Baby is jokingly referred to as TOWW's most Devoted Follower since they refuse to be parted with him for long.
↑ this action will have consequences.
Lamb teaches Baby about being a lamb and if Aym and Baal join in, well who are they to deny their child's only friends/guardians this?
Narinder and Lamb figure out how to get Baby to teleport to the Living World and Baby gets to visit Grandpa Ratau.
Post-game shenanigans.
Narinder: Give me back my crown.
Lamb: Ok. Sure.
Narinder: I will now sacrifice my most devoted follower (the Lamb) for my freedom.
Lamb: *Kill Bill sirens*
Lamb somehow doesn't kill Aym and Baal and instead kidnaps them via Indoctrination Circle out of spite/ reluctance to hurt them.
Narinder feels betrayed that the Lamb would refuse like this and kidnap his acolytes. He was going to resurrect them! He can't fully commit to raising a child while being the God of Death.
Lamb feels betrayed that Narinder would want to kill their child. After all they've been through together! After the way they saw him treat Baby with such gentleness and now he wants to kill them?!
This comes out in the very final moments right before Lamb goes to give the final blow.
Narinder: You are a vengeful false idol and a traitor!
Lamb: At least I'm not a monster who wanted to kill my own child!
Narinder: Wait. What.
This devolves into a massive argument with divorced-couple vibes.
Narinder is insulted and a bit hurt they thought he would kill his own child.
Lamb is hurt that Narinder would just demand their sacrifice without even talking to them about the whole situation.
Either way the lesson learned is Narinder needs to be more blunt and Lamb needs to not jump to conclusions.
So they are left with a newly usurped Narinder and a newly crowned Lamb. Oops.
Baby is with Ratau when all of this is going down.
Baby is happy their family is all together properly. Baby is Not Happy about this whole cult thing demanding attention from Their Baba.
The Cult is baffled by the sight of their leader with both a baby and a Spouse? Bitterly Divorced Ex? Estranged Co-parent?! What ever it is, most of them have elected not to touch the whole situation with a 10ft barge pole.
Baby learns what the word Father is and how that word refers to Narinder.
Baby calls Narinder Father/Papa/Daddy. Instant KO.
Narinder somehow gains a small hoard of children that like to follow him. Baby Does Not Approve.
Baby also Does Not Approve of this newly formed rift between their parents.
Cue Parent Trap level of Shenanigans.
Aym and Baal are recruited.
The Hoard of Children are recruited. Baby now Slightly Approves.
Narinder and Lamb have an Actual Conversation after the 18th time they get locked in the confessional together.
This of course evolves into Narilamb.
Bishops are saved from purgatory.
Despite all attempts otherwise, Baby is introduced to them.
Shocked Pikachu .jpeg x4
Maybe after a few more years, not-so-baby Baby wants a sibling.
This got so much longer than I thought but yes. Shitten Shenanigans: Accidental Child Acquisition flavoured.
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: MuseumGiftShopEraser! They have 9 works on AO3 in the Stranger Things Fandom, and 6 of those are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @museumgiftshoperaser:
Paint the Devil on the Wall
Conversations About Love
Now I'm A Stranger
An Exercise In Denial
Baby, You Were Meant To Follow Me
Her fics are BEAUTIFUL. When I first read Paint the Devil on the Wall I was so obsessed I immediately recced the fic to everyone I knew who would be vaguely interested in a steddie fic. -- anonymous
Below the cut, @museumgiftshoperaser answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
I stumbled into it immediately after season 4 came out. I’ve felt very attached to Steve as a character from the beginning of the show and I think I was subconsciously waiting for someone to pair him up with. I think they’re both such great characters to explore themes of dealing with expectation (either by conforming, or fighting against it) and that’s something I always love to write about.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
Absolute sucker for fake dating. Can’t get enough of it.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
Enemies to lovers! Though now that I’m looking through my AO3 I haven’t actually written that much of it. It doesn’t have to be very intense enemies, though. I just like it when characters don’t immediately get along.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
My brain has been forever rewired by took you for a working boy by pukner. It’s such a gentle, nuanced queer story. It feels vulnerable to me in a way that really only fanfiction can be. Can I sneak in another one?? Because everyone should also absolutely read the shame is on the other side by scoops_ahoy. It taps into this very specific kind of queer compartmentalizing, that I’ve never seen written this well. It broke my heart and patched it right back up.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
I’ve been stupidly busy with my masters lately so there’s probably not a lot of writing on my horizon. I do have a wip called Doll that I’m slowly chipping away at. It’s a little darker than stuff I’ve written before. I know ‘dark’ isn’t really a trope, but I’m excited to see if I can push these characters a little further.
What is your writing process like?
Absolute chaos. I write non-chronologically, without an outline, all in the same document. I keep writing snippets and scenes until the whole thing slowly comes together.
Do you have any writing quirks?
Italicizing words for emphasis. I love it so much, you can rip it from my cold dead hands. It accidentally makes its way into my academic writing for my degree sometimes which is a little embarrassing, but I just love the flair of it.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
I don’t really do schedules, it doesn’t work for me at all. I try to make sure I have a decent amount of the story written before I start posting to give me a bit of a head start, but forcing myself to finish something by a certain date is a surefire way to kill my motivation.
Which fic are you most proud of?
Probably Paint the Devil on the Wall. It was the first time I’d written the entire story before I started posting so it went through way more rounds of editing than normal. I think you can really tell. It’s also the longest story I’ve ever written (in general, even outside of fanfic). The whole project gave me a lot of confidence as a writer.
How did you get the idea for Paint the Devil on the Wall?
I knew I wanted to participate in the Bigbang and the deadline was coming up, but I still didn’t have an idea. I decided to work backwards and try to think of something that would be fun for the artist(s) to draw. I had a vision of Eddie wearing dungarees without a shirt, absolutely covered in paint and I knew I had to write something to make it happen. I set the story in 80s New York because neo expressionism is really the only kind of art I could see Eddie making. I think it suits him very well. I do actually have a background in art, though! I’m currently getting my MFA, but I’ve worked full time as an artist for several years before that. I had a lot of fun working my passion for art (and all those art history classes I had to take) into the fic.
When writing Paint the Devil on the Wall, what was something you didn’t expect?
All of Steve’s character, to be honest. The fic is written from Eddie’s POV and for a large part of it he has a very hard time figuring out what Steve’s deal is. Right alongside him, I also had an incredibly hard time figuring out his character. It wasn’t until I was working on the final chapter that he finally clicked for me. I realized very late, just like Eddie, that Steve liked him from the very beginning. Most of the enemies to lovers premise was all in Eddie’s head.
What inspired Now I'm a Stranger?
Oh boy, that was forever ago! I remember I started writing it while I was camping with friends because I liked having something to do after everyone went to bed at night. I think I had the idea for that very first scene where Steve doesn’t remember Eddie and it all sort of spiraled from there.
What was your favorite part to write from An Exercise in Denial?
That was the very first fic I wrote, right after season 4 came out! I’ve never written something that fast, I think the whole thing took me less than a week. My favorite part was probably Robin being completely exasperated with both of them. They’re such complete idiots in that fic.
How do/did you feel writing Baby, You Were Meant To Follow Me?
Ahhh… I never got around to finishing that one. I probably never will, to be honest. I wrote the first two parts quite quickly and then the idea I had for the plot spiraled out of control and I realized I didn’t actually feel like writing the rest of it. There were going to be a lot of misunderstandings and I learned that I find that an incredibly frustrating trope to write (when done for drama at least. For comedy, I’m a sucker for misunderstandings.) So I guess I felt a little in over my head.
What was the most difficult part of writing Conversations About Love?
The ending! That fic is so incredibly personal to me and I knew from the beginning that I wanted it to have a very sappy, happy ending. It was important to me to write an aromantic character getting everything they wanted, but I realized as I was writing it that I don’t actually fully know what that means. So it took a bit more soul searching than fics typically do, but it was very much worth it.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
I still think the short little prologue for Paint the Devil on the Wall is the best thing I’ve written. “You don’t draw on things that aren’t yours, baby” is probably the best summary I have for that story.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
Not really!
Thank you to our author, @museumgiftshoperaser, and our anonymous nominator! See more of @museumgiftshoperaser works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
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