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#though I would love to hear Tobias’s take on it too
autumnblooms · 11 months
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This will be on repeat for the foreseeable future
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x-liv25-jamieswife · 2 months
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For the release of ttpd, can a girl get some sad Grayson hcs 😔✊ <3
sad grayson head canons
of course<3. i eat up sad tig hcs so i might make some for the rest of the brothers and avery (probably will). hope you like them! this one is going to be kinda dark (i like making my favorite tig characters suffer) so trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. take care of yourselves, and try to talk to someone if you can. as someone who's been through a lot of shit last year, i can promise you things, at some point, start looking up (this might be corny, but i felt the need to say it) (i may be projecting in some of these cause i love making myself see myself in my fav characters if that makes sense).
grayson used to go out (like to the park or smth) and watch all of the kids playing with each other wishing he could be like them.
sometimes he gets so self-destructive he doesn't eat or drink water. he just lies in bed wishing he could magically die.
grayson heard the prochecy, the black dog, loml, and down bad from ttpd for the first time and started sobbing uncontrollably (so many other songs but yk, im not gonna write all of them down)
when he gets in those self destructive moods, he tends to piss people off/make people sad on purpose so that they'll get made and leave him (he secretly wishes that someone can see through all of his pain and be there for him)
very dark so trigger warning (even though i gave one at the beginning. you can never be too sure), grayson used to have scars on his ribs bc he would hurt himself. he never cut deep enough for it to actually scar permanently bc he 'has an image to uphold' according to tobias.
although swimming is a coping mechanism, it's also a form of self-harm for him sometimes. he swims until he can't feel his legs anymore, and sticks his head underwater for extended periods of time until he feels like he's about to drown.
i actually saw this in a conan gray interview, but he used to cross the street without looking left and right hoping a car would hit him.
he hears emily's voice in his head more often than he lets on. whenever he hears her voice, he'll press his nails so hard into his palms, they start to bleed.
he somehow managed to get his hands on some anti-depressant behind tobias' back and started taking them, but, sometimes, when he was especially suicidal, he would try to overdose on the pills. it never worked.
he's convinced himself that he deserves the pain he causes himself/the people cause him.
tobias knew about his unhealthy coping mechanisms but didn't do shit to help him bc didn't want him to 'soften up' making grayson think his grandfather thought he deserved the pain.
grayson will purposely make himself stay awake for days on end bc he doesn't think he deserves to get sleep sometimes (he needs to work. in his head, everything will go to shit if he doesn't)
sometimes he'll go swing on this swing they have in blackwood forest to feel like a kid again (it sometimes works)
he has this stuffed teddy bear nash gave him when he was a baby that he sometimes sleeps with when he feels alone (even though he'd grown now).
this one is extremely dark, probably the darkest one yet so tw for suicide attempt(ish its not really one).......... at the age of fifteen, he actually bought pills to overdose on and set a date (the 14th of may (really random)). he was going to off himself that day but didn't end up doing it bc his brothers dragged him out to play chess (idk, anything works). he said he'd do it some other day but never go to it. every year, on that day, he celebrates not offing himself bc he wouldn't have met the people he met and wouldn't have gotten to feel the happiness he now feels if he had.
he's convinced himself he isn't worthy of love (this one also applies to jamie, a lot of these actually do in my opinion, they're quite similar when you think about it. probably will make a post about this)
when he was a baby, he'd imagine his stuffed teddy was actually his mom when he felt the need to be held by a parental figure. it almost never worked, but he would always try again hoping it would magically start working.
he has panic attacks on a regular basis. ones where he starts pulling at his hair and stuff. he thinks he's going crazy after these, but avery reassures him he isn't (or nash, but i like the idea of avery being there for him as a friend/sister figure)
when he was younger, he used to ask people if they wanted to come to his house and play with him. they said yes but only bc he was rich. the second they'd step foot into his house, they'd leave him and start exploring.
this sort of goes with the hc i made that he denies himself food and stuff, but, when he gets cold at night and wants to lower the temperature, he'll force himself to stay in bed and take the blankets off to let himself suffer.
he secretly wishes people weren't so scared of him bc then he might have friends.
sometimes, he starts feeling so numb with everything he goes back to the cliff where emily died just to feel smth.
he's such a perfectionist he would cry whenever he got lower than a 90% at school.
it might not look like it, but he really cares about people's opinions of him and will do everything in his power to 'fix' what these people think is wrong with him.
whenever he gets mad at the world or at himself, he'll go to one of those places where you smash and break everything. when he's done, he makes himself sit in the mess and look at all of the destruction he caused (he sees this as him destroying everything in his life (like his relationships, etc))
to end on a brighter note, here's a happy grayson hc :)
when he was younger and wanted smth, he would jump with his hands clasped together begging for it with the cutest puppy eyes ever (i find this one really adorable and can literally picture it in my head).
not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, there are resources you can use if you ever need help. if you can, try to get a therapist, and, if you can't, talk to a friend/family member or call a helpline. things can get better. sending everyone lots of love.
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thatonewatching · 1 year
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Nickname Head canons
FEAT: Jeff t.K, E.J, Liu, 'Ticci' Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Bloody Painter, BEN.
Jeff-
He likes to give nicknames but doesn't enjoy having them for himself. He gives certain names depending on what he thinks of you/what you mean to him. Like, if you're a close friend, like BEN, he'll name you after an inside joke or something to piss you off. EXAMPLE: He would probably call BEN 'short-circuited' as a joke, but his nickname would be something like 'Moon child' just to piss him off. Doesn't answer to nicknames he's given until you get the point that he hates it. Pet names for s/o consist of stupid bullshit that would make you angry: Doll, pet, etc.
Eyeless Jack-
He doesn't mind depending on how close you are. If you're really close, then he doesn't mind your nicknames. He hates his name, though. Refuses to answer to 'Eyeless Jack' but will respond to 'E.J' or Jack. Doesn't often give nicknames unless it's to his s/o. Would not answer to 'Eyeless Jack' if the person calling him knew that he hated it. However, if it were someone who didn't know or hadn't really been reminded, then he'd correct you with patience. Nicknames for his s/o consist of sweetheart, my love, darling, dear, beautiful, and lovely.
'Ticci' Toby-
Depends on the nickname, honestly. The nicknames he grew up with were ones meant to demean and degrade him. Like, 'Ticci' Toby, and stuff his father would call him. If it were something nice, then he'd be okay. Actually, he goes by 'Toby', and his name is 'Tobias', which is technically a nickname in itself. He enjoys giving nickname, but often doesn't in fear of weirding someone out or making himself seem too comfortable and coming off as disrespectful. Nicknames for his s/o consist of baby, babe, hon.
Masky/Tim-
He's not a huge fan but doesn't really care. It takes him a bit to get adjusted to the name because he forgets you're talking to him, even if you're the only people around. Most likely won't call you by something other than your name or coverup name (like how he goes by Masky instead of Tim for his work, understand?) Okay, he would only give you a nickname in private, and he wouldn't let you tell anyone that you have one. Nicknames for his s/o consist of dear, honey, a shortened version of your name, and dumbass.
Hoodie/Brian-
He's okay with giving you one and not so okay with getting one. It reminds him of how he has to go by a nickname for his work, and he doesn't exactly like his line of work. Giving you one would show trust, even though he doesn't care what you go by. He might tease you with a nickname or do it to make you mad, like Tim and Jeff. However, he'd stop if you got actually upset. He wouldn't want that. Nicknames for his s/o consist of sweetheart and babe.
Helen/Bloody Painter-
No. Just no. He will not answer to Bloody Painter or BP. He finds it stupid and prefers to just go by his name unless his crimes, or 'art', is being discussed on the news or amongst naive and unknowing groups of people who have no clue that the gruesome murderer they're speaking about is within hearing range. He finds his anonymity delightful when it comes to his 'art'. However, wouldn't be displeased if it came to be that his identity was revealed, being fully aware that his name wouldn't be forgotten. (What am I getting into, jeez). Will not give or receive nicknames. If you were to give him one, then he would remind you once, maybe twice, that he doesn't like it, before reprimanding you. Will not give nicknames unless it's to a partner. Nicknames for his s/o consist of darling, muse (generic, I know), angel, dear, and beloved.
BEN-
Enjoys the child-like innocence of nicknames. He thinks they're cute and a nice way to show affection to anyone. Calls his friends by shortened versions of their names and sometimes uses inside jokes. A lot of the time, if the person has trauma they've healed from, he'll use a nickname referencing that. But, in case they're not healed, he won't. Will allow you to call him things referencing his trauma, like how Jeff calls him 'Moon Child'. Though he doesn't mind, it shocked him the first time it happened. Nicknames for his s/o consist of asshole, babe, baby, fucker.
Not proofread.
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threephantomrey · 1 year
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my thoughts on the Daphne & Velma movie as im rewatching it for the first time in 5 years:
• do NOT remember that opening at all. it surprised me tbh
• a lot of the technology in the school is kinda cool. but also i feel like it’d be a nightmare in an actual high school.
• loving Daphne & Velma being internet best friends🥺
• “#job goals” please stop.
• also liked Daphne’s hairstyle that she was wearing on her first day. it was cute imo
• COMPLETELY forgot who Tobias Bloom was. kept hearing his name throughout the movie and i had no idea who they were talking about until he showed up. anyways i hate him he gives me bad vibes
• “friendship detected” i can’t😭😭😭
• shame stickers… those are so stupid i would throw those out immediately if i went to that school and was given those
• i think some of Daphne’s outfits were cute in this movie. i especially liked the purple jacket she was wearing on her first day. didn’t really like Velma’s outfit or her bangs but im not gonna complain cause it wasn’t distracting
• also i think this movie takes place in it’s own universe. like it’s just canon to itself. not because i don’t like it i’m just pretty sure that it’s not in the same universe as any other media that has Scooby characters. and i think that’s fine.
• love that their eyes appear in the dark just like a cartoon.
• Tobias being a hologram is kinda genius.
• Carol being the villain makes sense. a little predictable imo but alright.
• “i would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids” YESSSSS!!!!!
• “technology has kind of enslaved our minds” no it was just Carol that was using tech for evil at your school. it doesn’t mean technology is bad now but ok
• “monsters aren’t real” “we’ll see about that” love that ending
anyways i still like it after my rewatch. it’s still not my favorite but i don’t think it’s bad. i could see why someone wouldn’t like it though. but i had some fun with it overall.
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redeemingbaddies · 1 year
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I’m a big ‘Severus was turned into a vampire’ after the final war person. Mainly because I love Tobias and I want him to have a second chance at being a father to Severus, just in a ‘dark father’ kind of way. But I’m also a ride or die Snarry fan, and I don’t necessarily love the idea of Severus turning Harry into a vampire. I mean, he spent his whole adult life saving Harry from death, and to become a vampire is to die.
So, what if, and hear me out, the events of the war against Voldemort ensured that there would be a way for Harry to be immortal. Harry would probably become an animagus at some point. What if that animagus was the Biologically Immortal Jellyfish? I imagine if Harry had become an animagus in school it would’ve been a stag or snake (cause of Voldemort), but since he didn’t and the war literally killed and resurrected him, I think Harry taking the shape of the Biologically Immortal Jellyfish isn’t a far-stretch. Harry is the Master of Death, and so is that jellyfish.
I kinda like this though as it gives Harry the choice. If he wants to age himself down he turns into the jellyfish and does the process and comes out younger. I imagine Harry would never do that…until he meets Vampire!Snape. Harry may not even understand that he can do that until Snape studies Harry in animagus form and puts it together.
I can just see Harry telling Snape about his lame animagus. That he has to be in water, and that it’s small and useless. And Snape almost takes joy in that, at least this ‘Golden Boy who Lived’ has one negative thing about him. Alas, Snape finally sees the form and discovers the type of jellyfish it is and:
‘Of course, Potter is literally given the choice of immortality. Unlike some of us,’ Snape gestures to his own dead, vampiric body.
‘Well, you could always take a stroll out into the sun, Severus,’ Minerva says over the lip of her teacup. Severus arches a scowled brow. ‘What? I’m just pointing out yours is a choice too.’ She takes a small sip, her eyes brimming with laughter.
Severus scowls harder.
Just an interesting idea I’ve been daydreaming about.
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inspectorspinda · 7 months
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what are YOUR five top favs in the sisters Grimm series? OR, what are your faves in each book? (Like which character you think shines the most in each title in the series)
For Overall:
Mr. Canis: I think you'd understand why. He's full of angst. The good stuff. Though to be honest, as a kid and even as an adult I was super disappointed when he was cured of the wolf. And MB's writing for him afterwards didn't really help convince me otherwise. Tobias Clay is just not as interesting of a character. I mean he had small moments, but with everything else going on it felt like MB lost a bit of interest in him as well. Still for 6 books he was the best thing.
Sabrina: Really solid main character. I really related to her as a kid and she's one of the rare kid protagonist that's even better as an adult. I even made an OC to be her big sister/mom figure because she needs that support. So many times the books have been unfair to her when her point of view is correct or at least very understandable. She deserves much better.
Charming: He, Sabrina and Canis are probably the trio in this series with really significant character development and growth. With Charming it is probably the most apparent out of them all. As an adult, he is also the character type I love the most. The ego-manic who learns to be a bit more humble even though he had a heart of gold all along. Rare opinion though, I wish he kept some of his book 1 ego until the end. That kind of stuff doesn't just go away and you can be a better person while keeping some of your quirks. Still I think MB did a great job with him.
Mirror: I did not see the twist coming at all as a kid. He's a bastard, but amazing. His death made me cry even though it was kind of lame in some respects. His feelings were valid even though the books didn't follow up with his schemes in the best ways, he's still great, unique and interest as a villain. I wonder how Mayor Heart and the rest would have felt though to know their "Master" was a "lame mirror".
Bunny: She's hawt. It is rare that a female character gets the same status and vibe of a tumblr sexyman, but that is her for me. She's perfect. I love her lots. I wish this series as an animated show just so I could see her and hear her talk cool and be all mysterious. We love a queen.
I don't think too many of the one off character stand out enough for me to really call them my favorites. Sure there are a lot of funny scenes and quirky Everafters, but without backstory/development, I don't care for them that much in the wider picture. A handful I really like are maybe: Hamstead, Scrooge, The Wizard of Oz, Puck's brother (the one that became king), the Editor and Baba Yaga.
Book 4 had a lot of really good characters.
Hot take though. Ms. White was kinda lame. Maybe it just because her knowing martial arts is too expected from Shrek and all the Disney hate. But okay what does her going to self defense actually have to do with her backstory? Nothing. She ate some poison because she didn't know about stranger danger. The Queen didn't attack her physically so her knowing martial arts ain't gonna help with shit. I would like to see a version of Snow White that works with CPS or the FDA.
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majikdog · 1 year
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Omg I come here because of the "2022 is the year of Ghost" post!!! (which thank you for putting together and omg... what a ride). I'm not sure if you got this asked before, but could you let usk now how it was meeting Papa? How was interacting with him, and how was the before and after?? I haven't been to a ritual yet, but i'm saving from when they start touring again, since I want to go to the meet and greet so bad! Would love to hear your experience though (if you're ok sharing!) <3
Hey, lovely!!
I’m glad you liked the post, it was fun putting together and I love the additions everyone made too!! It’s been such an eventful year. And I’d love to tell the story of meeting Papa, definitely one of the biggest highlights of my year! It’s something nice to look back on when I’m feeling down.
The interactions are brief due to time and the amount of people with the anointed packages (so many people, anon, I was pleasantly surprised!!) They also normally take place during the other opening bands (in this case it was Mastadon who performed right before Ghost). Basically, the Anointed VIPs are lined up, then taken in small groups of I think 10-20 at most, and led to a small, dark room. A corner of the room is boxed in with black curtains- where Papa is waiting. I was the fourth person in line. I’d been third but I chickened out and made @ghoulish-ghrace go before me, I was FREAKED!! Excited but terrified lol. They don’t make it any better for you, no, the room in dimly lit with smoke, incense, various ambient horror film soundtracks with the impending dread of actually meeting the character you’ve been obsessed with for however long it’s lasted up to that point. Eventually it was my go and I was directed to the little curtained corner. It looked something like this-
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(Not mine, this was a scene from the Swedish rock documentary, Hård rock på export)
The curtain was pulled aside revealing Papa, and he’s very much there. Like straight away, first thing I notice, BOOM in your face, jumpscare. From photos and videos, it’s a little easier to tell “yeah, this is a dude in a mask”, you can look at those things and nitpick the fine details to differentiate the fantasy from the reality. In real time, this dude looks fucking real. And Tobias doesn’t disappoint, he really does go into Papa mode and doesn’t slip in his performance from the mannerisms, the way he holds himself, the accent, everything. Onto the actual interaction, I was inside the mini room and he was literally face-to-face with me. I was still in frightened animal mode and I’m not gonna lie- he noticed and made it apparent but only out of kindness and comfort. It started off with him saying “hello” and “how are you doing tonight?” I answered with something about being okay but scared. He responded with “don’t be, it’s just me” (NO DUH YEAH ITS JUST YOU THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT, MATE). I told him he looked amazing and he replied “as do you, you look very nice tonight” (which I will carry with me to my grave) and he asked me if I was ready for the photo. I was kind of frantic and saying sorry a lot but as always, Papa was so sweet and patient, never got irritated, but at the same time attempted to comfort. Outside the character, I realize he’s totally been in this position before and probably gets it. The photo-taking placed him on the other side of the plexiglas bc of the COVID restrictions but he’s still very close! I still stayed farther away than I should have but hey, I was nervous, this was my first M&G ever AND with my favorite artist of all time. After the photo, I was getting ready to leave, Papa steps in my way to face me, no plexiglass in our way, and we were facing each other with him super close this time with fucking like breath on my face and that piercing stare you hear about so much that definitely lives up to what people tell. Trying not to cry (failed) and trying to keep eye contact (semi-success), I listened as he told me softly, “hey, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Now, I want you to go out there, make some friends, have fun and have a good time tonight. Can you do that for me?” I promised I would. I thanked him for everything he’s done and for being patient with me. I almost went to the wrong side of the tent to leave but I was able to turn around and say “goodbye, Papa” and he gave me a little wave watching me leave. Also would like to note that he’s not very tall but does try to loom (I’m fairly short tho so he’s got some height over me, the intimidation was effective. Tobias-1, Adri-0).
Now after all of that and making absolutely sure I hadn’t pissed myself yay, I ran out to find my friend and tackled them nearly to the ground. Noticed a few other fans looking like they were about to bolt and I let them know Papa was so kind and so sweet, it was definitely going to be worth it. I think that’s another thing, be there for your ghesties. It’s as nerve wracking as it is fun but it’s a lot better when you’ve got others to support you through it. Trust me, like I said with “Papa” included, you’re not alone and everyone’s been in this position and it’s okay to apprehensive despite the hard work you did to get there. If there’s advice I have to give, it’s that and also play along with Papa! He’s not Tobias Forge, he’s Papa. The play element makes it a bit easier. If you’re a little like me, script oriented interactions are easier. If you treat this like acting and playing along with the fun, it makes it more enjoyable. And even if that’s too much, you’re not sure what to say or you forget what you were going to say- that’s okay! Papa will be sure to make the experience as personal to you as he can. Just being polite and appreciative of his time and work are enough. Normally, gifts exchanges were allowed but cut out due to COVID restrictions. However, there was a very kind person running everything that I gave my gift for Papa to. He promised me that he’d personally make sure that Papa would get it and gave me his word. If you have anything to give Papa, check the venue websites for restrictions on what is or isn’t allowed in and if you ask the show runners if Papa may have your gift, they will likely work with you on that too.
After all of that pt. 2, I texted my mum and let her know about everything that happened haha. The rest of the night was a blast, my friend and I both got to the barrier area! Papa and his ghouls were also interactive on stage with us. So even if you aren’t able to grab a M&G, chances are you can still get some interaction during the ritual. Somehow making eye contact with him onstage and him gesturing towards you a few times is still as scary as the M&G ehhehehe.
After I think around a week, the photos with Papa are sent to you via email. After scrolling through all of them (yes, you were sent to a website where you’d see everyone’s lol), you’ll find yours. Here is mine:
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(See? Told you I stood far away lol)
But yeah, that’s the gist of it, Anon! Despite the short interaction, it’s well worth it in the end. Like many, I worked hard to get there mentally and financially, and I’m sure you will to. This is your experience and you should own it! And if you ever get scared, I will be your personal hype man because you deserve it!! And I think Papa knows that too. When you do get to meet him, I would love to hear! My inbox and DMs are always open to you and anyone who would want to share. I love sharing my story and hearing others’.
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coffeeheartaddict2 · 1 year
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Surprise
Book: Open Heart (post series)
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine, M!OC Joel Valentine
Word count: 907
Category: fluff
Warnings: none
Rating: General audiences
Summary: It is finally Ethan and Casey’s wedding week and Casey receives a surprise visit.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
Sunday 9th April.
It was Sunday afternoon and Casey and Ethan were having a well earned rest. Work had been crazy as both were wanting to finish off everything as much as possible before going on leave for their wedding.
They were finally here, their wedding week. They had brunch with Tobias and Naveen earlier that day but Casey and Ethan decided on a low-key Easter as it was their wedding week. Casey’s parents and her brother were due on Tuesday and she was very excited. She last saw her parents at the engagement party. They lived in Oregon now so getting the time off was difficult. She was more excited to see her brother Joel. She had not seen him since she graduated medical school. Joel was an electrical engineer in the army and he was often on deployment overseas or working on the base when stateside.
Ethan and Casey were enjoying their downtime when the intercom went off. Both were surprised to hear it. Casey got up and answered it.
“Hello” said Casey into the intercom.
“Hey big sis, you going to let me up?” Said the familiar voice.
“Oh my gosh! Yes! What are you doing here?” Said Casey as she pressed the button to let me him.
Ethan looked over,
“Joel came early!” Exclaimed Casey excitedly as she opened the door. The lift finally brought Joel upto to the top floor. He stepped out of the lift and saw Casey standing in the doorway. He made his way down the hallway to Ethan’s apartment and hugged Casey.
“You’re early!” Says Casey. “I was lead to believe you were coming with mum and dad.”
They enter the apartment. Casey formally introduces her brother to Ethan. Despite having spoken on face time, both men were happy to finally meet each other in person. Joel finally answers Casey’s question.
“Mum and dad knew I was coming early. When I put in for my time off, I requested from today.”
Casey hugged Joel again.
“It has been far too long since I last saw you”
“I know Case, that is why I came early. I still can not believe my big sister is getting married.”
“Well it is happening”
“And I could not be any more happier for you if I tried.”
Joel and Casey spent the rest of the day catching up. Despite both taking very different career paths they were both very proud of each other and what they had accomplished.
Joel knew his sister would do great things but he was also happy that she had found love too.
As the week went on, Joel got to meet, not only his fellow groomsmen but the bridesmaids as well. He had known about these people from chatting to his sister and also his parents but it was great to meet them in person and to be able to put names to faces.
One thing he marveled at the most though, was the love that Ethan had for his sister. The love and devotion that he had witnessed all week was reminiscent of the love that their grandma and grandad shared.
Friday came, it was rehearsal day. He could figure out why but he was expecting his sister to be nervous but she was the most relaxed he had seen her. The rehearsal went well and then the bridal party and parents went for dinner.
It was a lovely meal, with a gorgeous view of Boston to boot. Between courses Joel decided to give a speech.
“I think we can all agree that we are all looking forward to the ceremony proper tomorrow. This week has been the first time that I have met all of you and even though I feel that I knew most of you by talking to Casey, however I have enjoyed getting to know you all. There is also a big difference between knowing that Ethan and Casey love each other and seeing it properly with my own eyes. This is the first time I have spent any significant time with Casey since she graduated medical school. She has been the happiest I have ever seen her and seeing her with Ethan has reminded me of what I remember of grandma and grandad and the love that they had not only for each other but their family and friends also. I know if Grandad was alive he would not only be proud of the woman and doctor that you have become but he would also be happy that you have met your partner in life. I am sure he is here in spirit but he would be proud, as I am of you. Welcome to the family Ethan and here is to Casey and Ethan.”
Everyone raises their glass while Casey wipes a tear from her eye. There had been many times over the last 17 years that she missed her grandad and now was another time.
Casey finally managed to catch Joel.
“Thank you for your kind words at dinner.”
“I meant it to, he would be so proud of you.”
“I know he would, I have always missed him and it hit me a bit more after that speech.”
They hug.
“I am so glad that you and Ethan found each other, sis.”
“‘Me too, baby bro, me too.”
They then separated to enjoy the rest of the night and more importantly to celebrate her marriage to Ethan tomorrow.
Authors note:
Thank you for @jamespotterthefirst for the Easter reblog game that inspired this short and sweet fluff.
I headcanon that growing up Joel and Casey were close (2years age difference roughly) but their chosen careers kept them apart as adults. Joel was not expecting to be asked to be a groomsmen but he was honoured as Ethan knew how much Joel meant to Casey.
Also so excited as my babies get married this weekend.
Tagging: @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @genevievemd @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @bex-la-get @a-crepusculo @crazy-loca-blog @cariantha @trappedinfanfiction @binny1985 @schnitzelbutterfingers @peonierose
@openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations
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thirsteasaint · 1 year
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A Ramble: Phantomime by Ghost
This is about my opinion on the EP "Phantomime" by the band Ghost. May not align with your opinions, but whatever. We're adults here. If you continue to read, you have accepted the incoherent ramblings of a Ghost fan (a Ghostie, a Sibling of Sin, Ghost parishioner, etc).
To understand the album’s name: 
From Dictionary.com. Phantom (noun): 1. An apparition or specter 2. An appearance or illusion without material substance, as a dream image, mirage, or optical illusion. 
Pantomime (noun): 1. The art or technique of conveying emotions, actions, feelings, etc., by gestures without speech.  2. A play or entertainment in which performers express themselves mutely by gestures, often to the accompaniment of music. 
And with that, you get Phantomime!
The cover art is absolutely breath-taking. It was sculpted by Hedi Xandt, whose artwork you can check out on instagram! (LINK) Very cyberpunk and cool! They're also in videos on Ghost's YouTube channel. (LINK)
In an interview, it’s said Tobias worked on cover songs while also working on IMPERA. Whenever he felt like his writing wasn’t doing too good, he’d do a song or two. Having a folder called "Covers", these five ended up being the final selection. If you have a moment, you can read it on this blog by slavghoul as well as many others! (LINK)
So, I’m gonna rank each song from first to last! All on what my vibes were feeling. Though, I feel I should say I’m not familiar with the originals. Keep that in mind. Anyway, here we go:
See No Evil by Television 
Great way to start the EP! Tobias’ vocals are amazing in this. Got me pumped up, makes me wanna dance! Can’t shake the idea of this being part of a Kingsman film soundtrack. I’d like to watch an action scene while this plays.
Rating: 4 Papas out of 5
Jesus He Knows Me by Genesis
This was being teased with Papa IV’s face that said “Jesus is Coming.” And sure enough, he froqueing did. Wink, wink. Love the instrumentals, again Tobias’ voice is amazing! This one obviously is my number one favorite for lots of reasons, one of them being that blasphemous music video (do not watch it with family).
Rating: 5 Papas and 1 disgusting Father Jim (call me 🤙🏽) out of 5
Hanging Around by The Stranglers
Damn. Tobias, you can get it– I mean… Awesome song! I imagine going for a drive and blasting this, chilling and singing along. *coughs* Tobias, you free tonight? Wanna hang around? For an hour or two… 
Rating: 4.5 Papas out of 5
Phantom Of The Opera by Iron Maiden
Took me a few more listens. Long songs tend to be a hit or miss for me. I had problems hearing the vocals when I first heard it on their YouTube channel. The instruments were louder than Tobias. Now that the EP is officially out, the vocals sound better. Overall, I don’t mind it. A song I would repeat only if I’m playing the EP on repeat. So, putting it in the middle.
Rating: 3 Papas out of 5
We Don’t Need Another Hero by Tina Turner
TINA TURNER! Excellent song to end the EP! I can definitely picture this being played on tour. It has that oomph, ya know? A song I’d imagine myself belting out in the shower, channeling my inner rock star. Not sure what else to say, besides that it fuckin slaps! 
Rating: 4.5 Papas out of 5
Out of all of Ghost’s EPs, this is my favorite. I was kinda worried I wasn’t going to like it after hearing POTO, but damn… Tobias pulled through as always. This was something he did for fun and you can definitely hear it. 
Take it with a grain of salt, but I read somewhere that the EPs kinda reflect the current Papa frontman. And this is definitely fitting for Papa IV’s character. 
Can’t wait to see what the next full album will be! 
If you made it this far, thank you for reading!
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bespokeredmayne · 2 years
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Return to the dark side
The Good Nurse is certainly Eddie Redmayne’s grimmest portrayal in more than a decade, and there has been a flurry of false assumptions in the media that exploring the worst in human nature is new territory for the Oscar-winning actor.
The group of six fans who gathered by Zoom last week to talk to him knew better — were familiar not just with Marius Pontmercy, Stephen Hawking and Newt Scamander but Alex Forbes, Eddie Kreezer and Antony Baekeland. 
And they couldn’t be more supportive of seeing Eddie — as he put it, “go to extremes” — and delve into the complexity and challenges of his most recent projects of Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club on stage and this true-crime thriller from director Tobias Lindholm, told with shades of Hitchcock suspense. 
Armed with advance screener access courtesy of Netflix, the group — including two nurses from his fandom — were ready with their questions. They were rewarded with insights into how the film was shot, how Eddie’s stunning scenes in the latter part of the film were crafted — and of hearing firsthand Eddie’s exuberance and energy at tackling the role in partnership with Jessica Chastain and Tobias Lindholm, two artists he admires deeply.
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The Interview
Eddie: Hello, hello, everybody from all corners of the earth!
Charlotte: …you do have your two nurses on — Marci and Cris from Italy. So we can have some expert analysis.
Eddie: Wow! It’s so nice to speak to you all, and thank you for jumping on. 
Charlotte: Well, thank you, too. We just are thrilled. I think we’ve all kind of chatted, at least online, and this movie has exceeded all of our expectations. The sensitive approach to it, and of course your performance is just unbelievably authentic. 
Eddie: Thank you! Thank you so much. I’ve really enjoyed the promoting of it because it was an amazing experience making the film. It’s rare that you get through a sort of film where everyone is as impassioned about it as each other, so I’m thrilled you guys enjoyed it. 
Charlotte: Well, that’s coming across. It’s really lovely. We’ll go ahead & get started here, and as always, Ivonne can lead with her first question. 
Ivonne: We’ve spoken to you before about the physical preparations for your previous roles – a lot of your previous roles have had physical intricacies, but I felt like The Good Nurse is a very character driven piece, and I felt like your performance has a lot of nuance and a lot of  layers that kind of came to the spotlight but in a very restrained way. So I was just wondering, what was that process like? 
Eddie: It was, one of the things that I loved when I read the script — and the script was my introduction the story – was the enigma of Charlie. The fact that this was Amy’s story, and who was Charlie? The film wasn’t going to allow you to find out the pat reasons for his behavior. I love that even though, of course, as an audience you’re looking for that — for the “why” of it, and Tobias said something actually beautiful: “We’re looking for the ‘why’ in order that we can explain away this person as a monster…’we would never do that’…’he did it because of this.” What was much more complex was actually more the nuance in this man, his own trauma. I loved how stunningly underwritten it was. Krysty Wilson-Cairns had done a piece that really had faith in the actors. So one of the appeals for me, once I started reading about Charlie’s childhood, was about hiding (it) really, and there was a particular naturalism to Tobias’s movies that I had adored. Often his take on things is not the obvious; it’s the oblique. And one of the things I was most excited about was to be in a Tobias Lindholm film. I didn’t feel as if I had worked with this sort of filmmaker. And so it was about doing all the prep — and hiding as much as I could. If that makes sense.
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Charlotte: Playing off what Ivonne just asked — because you do put in all this preparation, and you’ve talked about how Charles Graeber’s book had so much rich material, and you talked to Amy Loughren: Not having Cullen’s motivation be obvious — did it free you up in any way, not having that to really explain with your character?
Eddie: As the actor, even if the piece isn’t really explaining the motivation, you have to find a confluence of or accumulate some possibilities. Now he also had mental illness — Amy describes him as having a dissociative personality. So that was the massive insight — that this was two different human beings. But where that was catalyzed felt a lot about his trauma, not only about being abused as a 7-year-old, but also the closeness of the relationship with his mother and how the hospital behaved when his mother died in a car crash and how they couldn’t find (her body) and when they did find it, it was all sort of disrespected. And after having done these insane things in the Navy for many years, when he then came back and trained to be a nurse,  it was that very same hospital where his mother had been brought after the car crash. The fury at that particular place and that system felt fueled. And I’m not saying that that’s the reason at all, but that felt like a strong reason. And so certainly when Jessica or Amy talks about his mother in that final scene, and (he says) ‘They didn’t stop me,’ that idea of the system being the thing that he, in his narcissism, believed was the problem, that was definitely something I was playing with. In relation to the freedom, I did feel freer on this film than I had in a long time, and that had a lot to do with Tobias and Jody (Jody Lee Lipes, the cinematographer) and his lighting that was so dark that it felt at its most real. You didn’t have the sense of the camera crew. You didn’t even feel like you were being observed, and that intimacy with Jessica was wonderful.
Charlotte: Marci, do you want to ask your first question?
Marci: You have told us before about how you do a lot of research and homework in preparing for a roles, and then it sort of disappears into your portrayal. As a trained nurse, I wonder what you learned through your research and from Amy that became embedded in you that helped make your performance so authentic. 
Eddie: Gosh, well through my experiences — I’ve had one particular one in the past couple of years of being by someone’s bedside and watching nurses — I’ve always had extraordinary admiration for nurses. But through the nursing school — a couple of weeks that Jessica and I did with a guy called Joe, a pediatric ICU nurse, we started with the history. I found that riveting, that fact that so many systems come from the late 19th century-early 20th century wars, and how the architecture of hospitals is built up. But also it was basically what it requires for nurses, and what you guys are. You have to be an extraordinary brain. You have to be brilliant at science and maths, and I really felt that because I was really struggling with some of the sort of biological-based stuff that we were doing. The thing that shocked me was the physical — the actual tireless, physical, like what it takes to move bodies, to move the beds around, how extraordinarily tiring CPR is. So the physical elements of it, followed by — and this was something that I’ve witnessed in a hospital — this emotional intelligence that you need, a humanity. You know, sometimes doctors in my experience don’t have that, and you have to be this go-between, between families, between patients at their most vulnerable. So it was those things — the fact that you have to be such a polymath — made my respect for nurses supersede where it already was. There were specific things — like apparently actors get the CPR wrong. You have to have your elbows locked. I’m not a very ‘prop’ actor, so things like attaching the IVs or putting in needles while doing other things — multitasking — were something that I had to come in every morning and practice on the dummies. And I did ping myself a couple of times. But after each take you would get that the director’s and Joe’s feedback. So hopefully we did OK.
Marci: I would say so. It was very authentic.
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Chrissie: I did see the film, and I thought it was fantastic. The nuance of your characterisation of Charles Cullen is so spot on, according to Amy (Loughran) at the BFI screening. How did you manage the task without having met him? Was there ever a consideration to try to have you meet him? Is that something you would have wanted, and why or why not?
Eddie: Chrissie, what a cool question. I knew that it wasn’t going to be possible from the outset, particularly because we were going to be started filming at end of COVID so there were all sorts of restrictions. But the more footage I watched of Charlie now, and you can see the 60 Minutes, it did not marry with the man that Amy was describing as this kind, gentle, self-deprecating man. And so I felt it’s been so many years, and it’s almost like he’s lived with his reputation that I felt OK with not meeting him. I did not think necessarily the version I would get from him was…I didn’t want to be manipulated, honestly. That being said, it wasn’t an option. What I did have was all of this footage and voicemails and things from that period, so I worked pretty hard on the specifics of that, and Alex Reynolds (note: his movement coach) and I did a day, and Alex’s genius is managing to articulate something that I can observe and that I can take emotionally into my body. So that was probably the most. The other person was Charles Graeber, who wrote the book, and he spent a lot of time with Charlie Cullen. And he (had) such brilliant insight into the specifics of him. But the overwhelming thing was the real Amy talking about the side of the friend that she loved. That was the biggest score into him. 
Chrissie: Playing such a complex character how did you ensure you looked after yourself whilst filming? It must have been quite draining.
Eddie: My family were here in New York. Jessica’s family were wonderful. The kids were hanging out, and I’m not an actor that brings it home. That being said, 70-80 percent of the movie Charlie was being kind. It was much more intense for Jessica. The heart element — Jessica was sort of pacing around, running around the wards, it was incredibly physically intense on her. But then my family left for the last few weeks, and that was the last moments of the film. That was intense. But still I’m not an actor, I don’t think — I don’t know, you’ll have to ask Hannah — who takes it home with me. Hannah was quite thrilled to lose the voice. Occasionally there could be some practicing, and she found Charlie’s voice pretty creepy.
Chrissie: It was very creepy. Lovely to chat with you.
Eddie: Lovely to talk to you, too.
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Charlotte: Cris, if you could ask your first question. 
Cris: Attending a nursing school, I would like to know what you liked most about this job.
Eddie: Gosh, I don’t have the emotional capability to be a nurse. I don’t know how you guys do it. And the feeling I had not just in nursing school but when I heard some of the stories, but particularly when I was in this ICU with a friend a year or two ago, was the emotional connection that you as a a family member feel to the nurse, who you engage with, who you get on with, who is the person who translates things for you that you don’t understand at this moment in which the person you’re with is at their most vulnerable. It feels like your everything. And that feeling when that person goes home and has a couple of days off — and of course they need a couple of days off — but you get a new nurse you have to develop a new relationship with. And it’s so complex. The thing that I learned is that nurses probably have to be extraordinary actors to be able to show that empathy and that compassion to people but also to have a relatively normal life at home. I know there are so many jobs in the services, whether it’s police or psychologist, that I would not be able to do. But I think that idea of how you’re able to cut off is astonishing to me. 
Charlotte: And now we’ll go to Erina in New Zealand, who always tells us what time it is in New Zealand.
Eddie: Yes! What time is it over there?
Erina: It’s actually quite respectable. It’s 6:48 a.m. 
Eddie: What’s that? It’s like an early wake up. 
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Erina: Yes. (Laughs) But it’s Friday; it’s in the future. My question is: You really see the transformation of Charlie from the caring friend to the frightening killer in those last few scenes. What was the shooting schedule, and could you actually build to those last transformative scenes? Or did you shoot out of sequence, were you back and forth?
Eddie: Well, the amazing thing was we shot all the exterior scenes out of sequence. But everything that took place in the hospital, they had built this hospital. They had wanted to shoot in a real hospital, but because of COVID obviously that was impossible. So in a business park they built this ward, and…all the background artists were real medical professionals. What it allowed was for us to shoot that main part chronologically. And it was really wonderful because on the page, the friendship and how the friendship unfolds is stunningly underwritten by Krysty. It was about finding the truth of friendship through extreme scenarios, but it was also a workplace thing. It was how to find that organically. And there were moments of improvisation, there were things the actual circumstances brought up, like with the pizza. And Jess and I had known each other for years, but it really was wonderful, it was actually really a lovely period shooting that. And then everything shifted after that, and when we got to the interrogation scenes, I hadn’t actually seen Jess for a couple of days. I’d done the scenes with Noah and Nnamdi, and they had been kept away from me during the process so sort of the first time I’d properly met them was in that scene. Tobias had kept them apart. That was pretty intense, the days shooting the interrogation scene. So when Jess came in the following day, we just gently kept our distances for that last day, and so when she came into the room, it was like an old friend coming back. None of this is ‘Method’ or anything, but it was just a way of trying to find the grace notes, given that we were able to shoot chronologically because it’s so rare that you have.
Erina: That’s like a luxury, so it’s so awesome to hear that they did that. So how great is that?
Eddie. Really great. 
Erina: Thank you, Eddie. I might not get my second question, so…
Eddie: Lovely to speak.
Charlotte: We’re starting on our second round…
Eddie: I’ll give short answers… (laughter)
Charlotte: Well, Ivonne had wanted to ask you about your experience with the K-Pop stars but that question was knocked out, so she’s going to have to ask a serious question now.
Ivonne: Serious question, yeah. When you think of your career as a whole — because there are so many audio-visual media — what would you like your legacy to be?
Eddie: My legacy — oh God, I have no idea. It’s not something I think of. I don’t like to think back in the past, but it was interesting recently at Zurich, they showed me lots of films I’d done in my career, or moments of them, and it was so interesting because for me what it does is take me back to where I was in my own life. It takes me back, like seeing Les Mis takes me back to when Hannah and I had just got together or like, each film comes woven into a life memory. My thing is if I just never underestimate how lucky I am to get to do something I love. It comes with odd, weird things that I have sort of negotiate. But if I just keep to doing it, that’s what I care about. And it’s lovely…I’m going to stop answering (laughs).
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Charlotte: This kind of plays off that, my next question does, talking about your past movies. Because we all know that you’ve done these very dark roles in the past, but a lot of people are just kind of discovering you now, and in the last decade or so you’ve definitely played roles that run along the lines of being romantic or heroic — or being a nice guy — certainly not anything this dark. What about The Good Nurse appealed to you, particularly at this time in your career?
Eddie: The interesting thing is that it was six years ago that I was cast in it. This often happens with me, whether it was The Danish Girl — films are such weird things, really. They can take years to happen. This film I was cast in six years, it then moved studios, the financing fell through, then all of our schedules were all over the place, but ultimately I’d say it was two things, three things. It was an extraordinary story that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard of given he was perhaps the most prolific serial killer in history. Secondly it was working with Jessica, who I think is one of the greats. Thirdly, I had seen Tobias’ movies, and I adored his films…he felt like a unique filmmaker and whenever you watch his films, you know that you are watching a Tobias Lindholm movie. And I wanted to be in a Tobias Lindholm movie. 
Charlotte: That’s lovely, very simple, too. Marci?
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Marci: You and Jessica Chastain were both amazing in this film, and you seem to have great chemistry. What was your favorite part of working with her?
Eddie: My favorite part of working with Jessica was she is a sensational actor. She also has innate confidence, but also loves what she does. She’s an absolute optimist. And she always looking for the best. I am someone who…whenever I read a script, I hear the worst version of it. And she was really good at just having none of it, just pushing me into an optimistic place, which was really wonderful and galvanizing me.
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Charlotte: Cris in Italy, your second question?
Cris: What inspired you for the interrogation scene for the last part of the movie ?
Eddie: We hadn’t prepared the interrogation scene. We had worked a lot on the scaffolding of the character up until that point, but that piece — a lot of it was verbatim from the transcript of the trial. But also he had gotten furious in that interrogation, but also there was also a moment a year later when he was in court, when the judge was reading out a pronouncement and Charlie Cullen started screaming this mantra about the judge’s failings, and repeated it again and again and again furiously in court to the extent that he had to be bound and gagged. And I wanted to bring that element into that scene also.
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Charlotte: OK, Erina. Ye of little faith, you get to ask your second question (group laughter).
Eddie: I got there, Erina!
Erina: I’ve got to deliver something good now. No pressure! You've played real-life characters in the past - what have you learnt from these other roles that helped you bring the Charlie to life?
Eddie: I still feel every time I get cast in a film, it sort of feels like the first time. I don’t have a specific process, but what I’ve learned — and the real shift in that was Theory of Everything, when I started working whether with vocal coaches or Alex on movement — but realizing it was so odd to prepare a character in a vacuum. I have lots of actor friends who have acting coaches, and I’ve never worked with an acting coach. But that process of having sounding boards, other artists you can play with ideas when you arrive with your director and other actors felt really important to me. All of that technical stuff may just be sort of reassuring to know that you’ve done some prep. Sometimes I don’t even know how useful some of it is. But it’s also it’s part of what I love doing. It’s like with Cabaret, when I went to Paris for this theatre school, LeCoq, the workshops there. I don’t know how useful any of it was, but what it did, it took me to a place of being willing to make a fool of myself in front of strangers. And that’s what I knew I needed to do in rehearsal for Cabaret. And that I knew I couldn’t be safe; I needed to go to extremes. And I don’t know whether any of that makes sense, but…
Erina: It all makes sense.
Charlotte: Eddie, thank you so much! Usually we know what you’re doing next so we can say we look forward to talking to you again, but we certainly look forward to whatever you’re going to do and to speaking again sometime. Thank you!
Eddie: Guys, thank you so much, as always, for your support. It helps me a great deal. I love that we get to chat in this kind of international fashion, across time zones.
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Ivonne Jofre, who is originally from Catalonia, is now a budding filmmaker who divides her time among London, Spain and New York — where she has been accepted for a master’s program in cinema studies at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts & hopes to clear the hurdles to attend in 2023-24. She founded the first (and most popular) online fan website, Eddie Redmayne Net, in 2008 when she first met Eddie after seeing him on stage, and her @eddieronline account is the largest on Twitter, with more than 68,000 followers}.
Charlotte Aguilar, from the U.S., is an award-winning writer-editor-producer who has managed BespokeRedmayne accounts on Tumblr, Twitter + Instagram for nine years, with more than 30,000 followers — assisted by teen granddaughter Maria Suarez. They have met Eddie in New York and London and coordinate an annual fan fundraiser for his birthday to support Eddie’s patronage of the MND Association of the UK.]
Marcella “Marci” Wright is a blogger from Oklahoma, who previously worked as a nurse for years. Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2020, she subsequently had to leave her nursing job due to mobility issues, & now works remotely as a data analyst. She is also a proud mom to Jake — who was the reason she started blogging about Eddie, after seeing his portrayals in The Yellow Handkerchief and Fantastic Beasts (upon seeing the original 'Fantastic Beasts' movie, Jake, then 15, happily announced, "Mom, Newt is autistic like me!")
Christine “Chrissie” Sallans is the OG of Redmayniacs, following his career since his early days on stage in London, and an integral member of the “Troop” of fans who camp out and brave London weather to support Eddie at premieres, performances and special events. Just this year, she’s visited with him at Cabaret, the Olivier Awards, the Secrets of Dumbledore red carpet, and the London Film Festival UK premiere of The Good Nurse. A social worker and educator by training, she is currently a university lecturer.
Maria Cristina “Cris” Della Valle lives and works as a nurse in Turin, in northern Italy near France. Lately she has worked in intensive care after many years in the cardiac surgery and general surgery departments. She is one of Eddie’s earliest fans and part of his “Troop.” She has traveled throughout Europe to see him on stage (this year in Cabaret), attend festivals, personal appearances and premieres for his films (most recently for The Good Nurse in Zurich).
Erina Ellis lives in Wellington, New Zealand. She works in television and is currently involved with broadcasting the Women’s Rugby World Cup, being held in New Zealand. She manages the @amazingeddieredmayne account on Instagram, the largest of its kind with more than 100,000 followers.
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red-the-ghost · 1 year
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(Submission Below)
Toby x Reader
I was wondering if you could do a Tobias/Toby x Reader, kind of like an enemies to lovers where Toby and the reader have a mutual friend?
Reader doesn't like Toby because he's taking their best friend from them, but Toby thinks that they're a bad influence. At some point, the two get into an argument and reader leaves/ghosts everything. Reader isn't doing so well w/o their best friend because they were the only one in reader's life, and Toby notices that their friend doesn't know what to do without the reader.
Toby and reader agree to act like friends, and end up falling for each other at some point.
(This could be a series or a single post, your choice <33)
Ticci Toby X Reader (1/3)
Enemies to lovers version <3
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Whilst settling in at the mansion you managed to make a few friends however you mainly stuck by ‘the proxy trio’ well, now there were four of you. Originally when you arrived there was only tim and Brian there. You enjoyed Tim’s hard exterior, the great facade he shows to anyone he meets and you loved his softer personality that he lets you and Brian see when you guys are alone. You equally enjoyed Brian’s gentle personality, his giddy ideas and carefree attitude. To be honest you didn’t even know toby existed. Apparently, he was away On a long mission and oh boy did he make a scene when he came home. At first he was excited to see a new proxy or member, you can vividly recall seeing him bounce up and down much like a hyper child, his brown hair bouncing with him, a huge stupid grin covering his face, his wholesome eyes searching and scouring you trying to determine how good of friends you’d be. But his whole demeanour changed when he found out how close you had become with Tim and Brian. He felt defensive and all the while jealous, he constantly shoved in your face how long he’d known them both or how many great memories they’d had together. Once this behaviour started to show through you took a dislike towards him, really there wasn’t anything to really hate about him, if anything you actually enjoyed his company and bubbly behaviour when around others, but his jealousy and slightly arrogant behaviour struck you in the wrong way. He would make comments that stuck you more as an attack rather than a joke, he would constantly ‘flirt’ with you by saying the weirdest of things. He would often loose himself when having to talk to you- he’d become meaner or more distant, often times he just ignored you and after a while you decided to ignore him too. For the next few weeks life went pretty smoothly, well, as smooth as it could go. You kept to yourself and only really lightened up around tim and Brian, however your guard would instantly raise around toby. You wouldn’t let him in and you didn’t want to try to like him, though things began to crack when not only Tim but Brian started to see this conflicting behaviour between you and Toby. Eventually Brian pulled you to one side whilst Tim seemed to have a similar conversation with Toby across the room. His attitude towards you wasn’t as usual, he was more stern and more concerned- with just the look in his eyes you felt regret and remorse all at once. You felt bad about the situation and you didn’t realise what strain you and Toby were putting on the group. “Look, we care about you, we do. But, I mean, come on, what’s with this silly feud with you and Toby? You guys are constantly battling over mine and Tim’s attention and it’s not healthy. I know he might have made a bad first impression on you but.. I think he could really use someone like you in his life” you couldn’t help but laugh. A shameful laugh. A laugh that made you slam a hand over your mouth to stop yourself. “Someone like me? I can never get a word in around toby. He’s the most positive fucking guy here, what the hell would I do for him?” Your tone came across more snappy and condescending than intended and you did feel bad for Brian having to hear it. “Look, you haven’t seen Toby alone alright?” But before you could question the very essence or meaning of Brian’s statement he walked away towards Tim. Tim was now standing alone, toby must have stormed out or something, you didn’t miss his absence though. Instead you just wandered outside to join everyone else. It was a decent summer day so most of the proxies were outside playing games or just hanging around before going out on jobs.
You found a nice spot sat against a tree, shaded, not too far away from the mansion. You got a pretty good view of everyone outside without having to join in on conversation. Your eyes wandered the scene setting on whoever caught your eye: Jane was sunbathing whilst Sally laid next to her scribbling away in a colouring book Ben stole for her, liu was sat on a chair being bugged by Nina to take his scarf off- it was way too warm and people were getting worried for him. Then your eyes settled on Toby. He was alone. Sat on the floor with his back pressed against the wall of the mansion, one of his legs was brought up, allowing him to bury his face, leading you unable to tell if he was crying or not, every few minutes he would look up as if he wanted to join everyone, he’d tick a few times but ultimately lay his head back down. You felt bad. A part of you deep down felt bad to see him like this, is this what Brian had meant? A figure approached toby and a foot kicked his leg. Tim’s foot. It was as if a switch has clicked in his head, he darted up and jumped about, wailing his arms around as if he was telling a story, his smile beamed across his face once more as his shaggy hair bounced around his face mirroring his bodies actions and for a moment you forgot you’d even seen him on the floor a few moments ago. For the next hour you watched as people danced, played, laid and sung along to cringey songs from their childhood. You watched as Toby attempted to teach Brian a stupid dance whilst Tim smoked behind them laughing along at their inability to dance. You brought your legs to your chest and you hugged them, you didn’t want to feel alone but you couldn’t help it. A part of you wanted to go and join them but you knew Toby didn’t like you anyway so there was no point causing awkwardness for no reason. Instead, you busied yourself humming melodies of your old favourite songs until slenderman came outside and silence filled the air.
“Y/n” he began and you looked up, sending a slight wave to his direction. He motioned for you to walk to him so that’s what you did, you stood up, slightly shaky after being sat down for so long. “Toby” he continued. You felt yourself cringe and your eyes rolled back. What could you have to do with him. “You two, there’s a house about a mile from here, abandoned. Zalgo’s proxies have been spotted there a few hours ago. Go. Check it out, any sign of danger then come back. Do not initiate in any form of contact.” Toby defeatedly sighed and hung his shoulders low, before walking inside. You followed him after getting further instructions and details from slenderman. You grabbed your knives and headed to the door. Toby was already there, goggles on, mask on and hooded. He held up an axe in your direction as a acknowledgment of your presence “ready princess?” He began. You rolled your eyes- again and shivered. “Mhm, and don’t call me that.” he brought a hand to cover his heart, “wounded” he added, pouting before rolling his eyes dramatically so you could see- a mockery of your previous actions. He followed his actions with laughter before opening the door. “Let’s go then”
Part two soon folks :)
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a-normal-exorcist · 8 months
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First Post: 10/4/2023
My name is Naomi Aaronson. I’m 23 years old, stand at 5’7” and weigh 149 lbs. I have very unkempt black hair and brown eyes. Not a big fan of flashy clothing. I grew up in a jewish household, but I don’t practice anymore. Not after all I’ve seen.
I’m writing all this because…
Honestly I’m not sure. I’m not even sure who I’m writing it for. Anybody willing to read I suppose. There’s not really anybody left to talk to. Anybody nearby I could talk to would understand. Maybe it’s because I know you won’t believe me that it’s easier. You can treat it as just a little campfire story. You can pretend it’s made up and enjoy hearing it. Maybe someone making light of all this is what I need right now.
I’m an Exorcist. A Licensed Magician given legal authority to deal with special interest targets. Cryptids, Monsters, Spirits, Cults, Anomalous Phenomena, that sort of thing. The office I work at is based out of Louisiana. There’s a reason why, but I don’t want to dump too much on you guys at the start.
I imagine your first questions are along the lines of: 
How much do Exorcists get paid?
Can anybody become a Magician?
How do I become Licensed?
To answer the first question. When you start out you can be expected to make roughly 190,000 a year. My current salary is in the seven figures. Taxes are kept low as another incentive.
Second question. Most Magicians are born this way. There are ways to become a Magician without being born with The Spark… but those ways are not worth it.
Third question. You’re approached by another Exorcist and recruited, then brought to an office. You do not want to be recruited.
Growing up as a Magician is a strange experience. First off, most animals are deathly afraid of you, so pets are a bit of a no go. Spirits of all kinds are drawn to you as well. I’d say about 75% are completely harmless. Ghost especially. Most just want something that’ll pay attention and actually talk to them and are just unfortunate enough to be scary looking.
It’s the other 25%. The Troublemakers.
Some of them are just aggressive. Noisy and handsy things that’ll haunt your dreams and break things. It’s uncomfortable and traumatizing, but… you can get over it. Others actively want to harm people. The worst ones want to take you over. Wear your body and soul like a suit and parade around. Most demons are like that. They don’t brute force their way in. They chip away at your mind, eroding your ability to resist, clipping your thorns that might bleed them dry on the way in so they can comfortably use you as a host.
Demons love Magicians. Usually they’ll take any body they can get, especially ones that submit freely, but they prefer a host they can use well. So Magicians are at risk of possession far more, even though we have a better chance of fighting back.
For as long as I can remember, my dreams have been haunted by Demons and other Troublemakers. My parents weren’t magicians themselves, and at first I don’t think they believed in these kinds of things. But they believed me. They did what little they could to offer me comfort and help. I’ll always be thankful for that.
They were the first people I lost.
I still remember that day vividly. It was a cold autumn evening, October 8th. One particular Troublemaker, a Demon called Mr. Ruddy had been trying to get a hold of me for some time. I always resisted, spat him back out. So Mr. Ruddy changed tactics. Instead he targeted my father. My father was a good man. A loving man, his faith as strong and sturdy as the oldest mountain. He told me to leave and find Rabbi Tobias Kravitz. If anybody knew how to help, it’d be him. Always a man of strange interest. In hindsight, he may have been a Magician like me, just interpreted it through a religious lens. It took a while to find him, but when I told him what had happened, what I’d seen, he came to the house as quickly as he could.
The exorcism lasted ten days. My father held out for so long. It had to be one of the hardest things anyone has ever done. While his body was twisted and his mind eaten away by that demon, he remained lucid. Every breaking and healing of bone, every tear and knitting of muscle. Awake for every moment, certain that he’d win. But eventually Mr. Ruddy won.
Mr. Ruddy used my father’s voice to get my mother to break the bindings. He tore through her and Rabbi Kravitz. Then he came after me. My father’s body wasn’t his anymore. He was some hunched, gangly thing with spindly digits and the top knobs of his spine jutting out from him. His muscles were so swollen and stretched that the skin had torn, exposing the fibers underneath. And that smile. His lips were pulled so far to the corners that his jaw hung open.
Whatever remained of my father spoke to me. Told me to do what needed to be done.
So I burned him. I burned him until his bones cracked like firewood and turned to ash. Mr. Ruddy left with him. I don’t know if the flames destroyed his spirit or if papa dragged him to the beyond to face some kind of judgment. I hope it was the latter. I hope that bastard got to feel small.
That’s when an Exorcist showed up. Andreas. I could’ve gone with my family, stayed with one of my aunties… but I accepted his offer. Got a new place, met new people who saw what I saw and understood what I felt. I even made friends. That last thing was my biggest mistake. Because every friend I made I lost. The lucky ones just got killed. Some were possessed and exorcized, but the trauma was so intense you could hardly call them the same person. Some were truly lost, and I had to do to them what I did to papa.
Eventually I wised up. I stopped trying to make friends in this line of work. It was easier to do that. Building walls is easy. Just a straight up barrier around your heart. Simple. Clean. It’s a lot easier to break a bridge than a wall. It’s lonely… but it hurts less than seeing more people I care for die.
I’m not doing this job because I enjoy it. I’m doing it because it has to be done. I hate it. I hate every waking moment of it. But I won’t let anybody feel what I felt that day.
I’ll try and keep you guys updated as best I can. But the job is busy so I may get pretty spotty. Feel free to ask me any questions.
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jerzwriter · 8 months
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what is a song that will always make them cry?
how do they cry? heaving? silently? sobbing?
what would they rather die than do?
what is their biggest mistake? one that they look out to never do again.
For T/C, please.
Hey Kathy! Thanks so much for asking! (and OMG so excited to see you on!!!)
From this list
What's a song that will always make them cry?
For Tobias, songs reminding him of his late father will always be a trigger. "The Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics is only listened to when he needs to and is able to have a good cry. Even worse would be "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton because I HC his dad took him to see Clapton during his '98 tour when T was just 15.
Casey, my poor girl, she's a cryer. So, there are many songs that make her cry. Tobias is kind of used to it now, but early on, he'd see her getting all weepy to say, "All Too Well" (Taylor) or "Someone Like You" (Adele), and he'd be all, "Are we OK?" She'd be all, "Of course, it's just this is so... sad." After going through pregnancy number one with her, he kind of knows just to hug her and say he loves her, maybe provide ice cream, and it'll be OK. lol
Some songs that are more personal, though, and really can take her out, are "Who You'd Be Today" (Kenny Chesney) because it reminds her of a friend who died young. "You Lift Me Up" (Josh Groban) because it reminds her of her parents/grandparents.
The two of them can get misty when they hear their wedding song, "All of Me" John Legend, or other songs that are special to them, and later on, there are the songs that remind them of their girls, but I've gone on way too long as it is. lol
How do they cry? Heaving? Silently? Sobbing?
OK, it depends on the reason why. Tender moment? Mildly sad movie or song? Tobias would be a silent crier; Casey would be crying softly with a sniffle or two.
Happy crying? Like, after their baby is born? Casey is a weeper. You're going to hear her. Tobias, too, but a little more muted.
But if it is something serious... death, or fear of losing someone? Real tragedy? They'd both be wailing, sobbing, heaving - the ugly cry...
What would they rather die than do?
They'd both rather die themselves than experience the other dying (sorry, T... she goes first...). And they'd both rather die than outlive their daughters. Outside of that, I don't think there is much.
What is their biggest mistake? One that they look out to never do again.
With Tobias, it was the time he lost with his father before his death and then the spiral he went on afterward. During that timeframe, he pushed a lot of people out and wasn't honest with himself. He lost a lot of years as a result, and he's not about to repeat that mistake. (Though it took him a very long time to even see the pattern, much less fix it.)
Rushing into Sen. Farrugia's room instead of notifying the authorities and allowing them to handle things. While she's made progress, deep down, she always feels a bit guilty over Danny and Bobby's deaths.
Thank you for the asks, Kathy!
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esmiephan · 1 year
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About Copia's (suppose) death and the future of Ghost
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Alternative title: my fanfiction to keep Copia alive and well.
Ok guys I know this sounds like a stupid cry coming from a Copia-bitcher-fangirl that I am, but I have evidences about what I am talking about. We have all the evidences about Copia's death, the arts showing him as an angel, the Mary On A Cross slowed version painting Copia as Caligula (a governant of Rome that was betrayed and killed by his own people), and of course, Mr. Saltarian's questionable threat in the last chapter they published.
But I have a theory that maybe his simple death isn't the path Ghost is going to follow. Hear me out:
Copia's first album was "Prequelle", his last one will probably have some reference to "Epilogue". Well, we still don't have any album related to finalization or ending, so.
Copia has been acting very strange. I don't see many people talking about this but he had a questionable reaction during "Rats" in the last shows. After the line "Never to return", Copia screamed "NO" and ran back, he did that more than 3 times. I believe he knows someone is trying to replace him, one way or another. He is aware that he's in danger. I don't think his replacement will come out of nowhere.
Tobias Forge confessed, in an interview where he was questioned about the Papas' deaths, that he was tired of following the same story of always. Papa comes, Papa is replaced (or killed), new Papa comes. Then the new Papa is replaced again and again. Simply murdering Cardinal and replacing him by some Papa Emeritus V would be too obvious and it would repeat the same story again.
We love Papa I, II and III, but let's all agree that Cardinal Copia was somehow special. When he took the lead, he was still cardinal. He wasn't ready. We watched our ratboy overcoming his challenges and becoming Papa. He went from clumsy shy cardinal boy to imperious sexy Papa. It would be such a waste to simply kill this character and his development. He deserves sooooo much more time to lead Ghost and the Clergy.
I believe everyone is aware that Sister Imperator is Copia's mother, right? And she clearly loves him as any good mother would do. Notice how she reacts when Mr. Saltarian threats her son. Do you really think she will let anyone hurt her little Cardi so easily? I don't think so.
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What do I want express with all of this? I have a theory that the future of Ghost isn't simply killing Copia and adding the next Papa V. It would be too obvious and repetitive. Tobias himself already confessed that when he killed the other Papas. I suppose that a great conflict is going to happen inside of the Clergy. Someone is trying to replace Copia and/or even kill him, maybe someone inside of the Clergy, and I believe the characters will separate: one side wants Copia to be replaced and/or killed, and the other wants to protect him. Sister Imperator is much probably the one who will stand with him, while Mr Saltarian is a big suspect of standing against him. I heard theories that the Ghouls would betray and kill Copia, because we have an official art of him imitading Caligula: a roman imperator that was killed by his own people.
I don't believe this, though. I don't think the Ghouls are perverse or betrayers. I have a suspicious that someone out of the Clergy will try to attack Copia (maybe convincing members of the Clergy of turning against him, too, but i guess the master of the threat is an outsider). Why? Because, in The Beach Life chapter, Copia was listening to the song "Hang the Pope" by Nuclear Assault. Let's take a look on the lyrics:
Hang the Pope, hang the Pope, hang the Pope, Hang the Pope hang, the Pope hang the Pope, Hang him with a fucking rope
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's dead
Hang the Pope, hang the Pope, hang the Pope, Hang the Pope, hang the Pope, hang the Pope, Hang him with a fucking rope
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's fucking dead
In the song, we have an agressor that wants to go to the Vatican and kill the Pope. S/he/they is an outsider, not a member of the church or Vatican. I don't think they putted this song there out of nowhere, it must mean something. So yeah, this is my theory. I think the person that plans to replace and/or kill Copia is not part of Clergy, but will probably reunite someone inside of it to stand against him. And I'm not saying his plan will work, again, Sister Imperator MUST protect her baby at all cost. Instead of the same "replace Papa IV, new Papa V", we can have a chapter about conflict and action.
But I can be completely wrong and Tobias is really going to just end with Copia and that's it. Oh, Jesus. I can't lose Cardi. I cannot. I do hope Tobias isn't actually planning to kill him... I wish I can at least meet him one time before his end 😔
By the way this comment comforted me a lot ↓
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Comfort the pain away
Word count: 1098 Genre: Comfort fanfic. Pairing: Tobias Sammet x Reader Warnings: None i think. Summary: It’s late one night and Tobi isn’t coming to bed. Reader decides to look for him in his basement studio and finds him in need of comfort after writing some painful lyrics.
You also can find this on Archive of our own.
A/N: Idea to write this came after listening to new Avantasia album.
It is getting very late. Sure, Tobi and I are owls and often stay up late. Tobi likes working at night-time, but even for him this is a bit too late and at this time of night he usually would have already joined me in bed. I’m getting a bit worried, but for another half hour I just wait because I don’t really like interrupting his creative time. But surprise surprise, after 30 more minutes Tobi is still not in bed so I decide to go and investigate. I go downstairs and knock on his studio door just in case. There’s no answer, so I feel confident to open the door. I like the vibe of his studio. It’s cozy, nice, and mysterious. At first it’s all silent, and I can see Tobi sitting at his desk, but then my ears pick up some sounds. Is he crying? I get a bit more worried and walk up to him. I notice that he’s been writing, and now I know what’s up. It’s not the first time that this happens - I usually know that either he got some very bad news, or that he’s been writing some lyrics that hit him hard. Both ways I understand him and try to comfort him the best I can. Of course, he still struggles to ask for help and instead tries to deal with pain in his own way, but I know that he appreciates when I come to help like now.
“Hey, I’m here. It’s okay,” I speak softly as I lean closer and hug him a bit. He makes a sad noise. “I’m here now, and I want to help you.” I keep hugging him and caressing his back for a while. I can tell it was something hurtful because this is taking me longer than usual. I try not to talk too much and just sometimes I tell him how much I love him and how I understand how hard it all is.
After some time, I feel him relaxing a bit, and he’s not really crying anymore. Then I hear him speak quietly, “Thank you for being here.” He sounds sad, and it really breaks my heart, so I hug him more.
“It’s all good. I like being here for you and helping and comforting you. Maybe let’s go upstairs? I will make you some tea, and then we can cuddle”. He makes an appreciate noise which I take as a “yes”. I let him move, and I smile softly when I finally see his face. He wipes away the last tears and smiles back at me. I can’t help but hug him more. This time it’s better as he hugs me too. After the hug, I hold his hand as we go upstairs. I tell him to make himself comfy on the sofa as I’m gonna make tea. I kiss his cheek before I go to the kitchen.
Soon enough, I emerge with two cups of lavender tea, and I smile seeing him cuddled up with our favorite blanket on the sofa. He smiles too seeing me. I can tell he’s still in that sad mood though because he can’t hide it from his eyes.
I set the cups on the table. “I have tea, so now cuddles”. He makes space for me, and soon I’m cuddled up, or more like he is cuddling up next to me. I give him his cup of tea, and then take mine as well.
“This tea might not take the pain away, but it will make you feel better and more relaxed”. 
“Thanks, love.” Tobi smiles and drinks and sighs. It’s one of his favorite teas. And so we drink in silence for some time. Sometimes even the silence can be comforting enough. 
I’m drinking faster, and soon I put my empty cup on the table. I sigh and speak. “You don’t have to talk about what you’ve been writing. I know I’ll hear the song when it’s ready. Just know that I understand your pain, and I can sympathize with you. And you know, in most cases I feel the same.” I look up at him while he still drinks his tea. “I might not know all the shit you went through, only the bits and pieces you’ve told me before, plus all the lyrics you’ve written, but I know how hard it is to face that pain again, to put it somewhere, to create something with it. I know it way too well…”
I fall silent for what I think is only a minute and can’t help but glance to my arm with all the scars. But apparently it’s more than a minute because I feel Tobi taking my hands into his, so I look up. He has finished his tea too. I feel confident continuing to talk. “I just want you to know that you’re not alone feeling the way you feel. You have me, and you have other people who listen to your music and can relate to your lyrics just as much. I’m glad you can create such amazing music out of it, but please don’t hide your pain away from me. Even if I can’t help, I want to be here for you, to hug you, to cuddle you because I know that it helps even if just a tad bit.”
I can see tears in his eyes and some rolling down his face, so I reach out and wipe them away. For a minute he doesn’t say anything and just cuddles up close to me while I hold him.
“Thank you so much. It really helps me feel better. Sometimes I just get too caught up in a certain emotion or feeling or memory and it starts to hurt so much… But I’m very happy to have you here.” He speaks finally, and I smile and just hold him closer. We sit like this for who knows how long until he yawns.
“I think we can continue to cuddle in bed. It’s getting super late. And you need good sleep before you can sit down to write again,” I smile at him. I can tell he is more relaxed now even if his chattiness isn’t coming back so fast. “Yeah, that sounds good,” Tobi agrees, so we get ourselves upstairs and in bed. He cuddles up to me again, and I’m very happy to hug him and caress his hair and tell him what I did all the time while he was working. Soon after that, we tell each other goodnight and sleep.
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alj4890 · 5 months
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Would it be a deal breaker for your pairings if one part suggested or talked about the idea of open up their relationship? (Either 3some or poly). Like, of course they wouldn't do anything if their partner doesn't agree. But would the suggestion damaged the trust their partner has in them, or make them uneasy enough to become an issue? Or would they be able to hear them out, say no and move on?
Oof. Hitting with the hard questions here, LOL! I'll try to answer this the best I can with some of my pairings. I also got this question from @choicesasknonnie
Personally, I'm monogamous. I have no experience in poly or threesomes. I was never the type to even date multiple men at the same time. I found a lot of relationships to be exhausting with men I dated before my husband and couldn't fathom trying to have one with someone else at the same time 😂 Having said that though, I think my pairings would have different responses.
So for Thomas Hunt and my OC, this would permanently damage them. I base this particular OC on myself. Not only does Amanda have my first name, she has all the insecurities and such I've suffered with in my life. If Thomas were to even hint he would be interested in bringing someone else into their relationship, even for a one night stand type thing, Amanda would believe he doesn't really desire her anymore. Her doubt would take over and cause her to end things, no matter how much Thomas reassures her that he loves her and wants to be with her.
I honestly would react like this if my husband were to suggest this. Here again though, it is because I have only experienced monogamy and it is the type of relationship I've wanted. I have a few family members who have made poly relationships and such work and others who haven't. I just never wanted it.
With Tobias and Chris, I think they'd be okay if one suggested they give this a shot. I wrote them though as seeing each other as the only one they want, but I don't think their trust or relationship itself would suffer any damage. I can see them earnestly discussing this and making sure the other is okay while they reach a decision if it is right for them.
With Liam and Riley, I don't know. I always played the MC as sticking to one LI instead of romancing others at the same time with each replay. I know Liam would be fine since the whole "Cordonian Arrangement" suggestion if you say no to his marriage proposal in canon. With Riley, I think she would be fine if she was the one to suggest it. I don't think she would if Liam did so.
Ethan x OC would be a no. Sophie and Ethan's work schedules make it hard enough for them to find enough time for the other. The last thing they need is someone else to demand attention 😂 I think it might cause an argument if one were to suggest it
Maxwell x his different LI I've written for him 🤣 Here again, if he's with my OC, Amanda it's a big fat no and will permanently damage their relationship. If he's with my OC, Sherry, I think they're too content with the other to feel the need to add anyone to the mix. If one were to suggest it, I think they'd be able to move on and be fine. With Olivia, I don't know. With both having been raised in an environment where taking a lover is quite normal, they might be fine. Threesomes, I guess it depends on the person they decide to possibly add to the mix. I can't see Olivia allowing just anyone 😂
I know I've written for a lot more pairings, but I stuck to the ones I've written the most for 😉 Thanks for the ask ♥️
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