npmd headcanons because my brain is rotted <3 <3
heehee hoohoo i am rotating the entirety of hatchetfield in my brain
im updating this as i think of more stuff so bear with me if this gets stupidly long
richie has audhd. i know this because he is me i am him we are EACH OTHER /j
ruth and richie met in the anime section of barnes and noble in middle school and nearly screamed when they realized they were going to the same high school later on
steph is lactose intolerant and is not brave about it ever. tries to share a hot chocolate with pete and spends the next three hours miserable
grace is doomed to kill in every timeline but it can be prevented by her best friends keeping her too occupied with mundane nonsense for her to find a gun
richie has so much tboy cringe energy. that man kins sasuke you cannot tell me i'm wrong
i have hit them all with my transgender and gay beam >:3c
they're the friend group that hit their gender and sexuality realizations in waves. someone's egg cracked first (richie) and it set off a chain reaction
pete is genderfluid and usually presents masc (he/they)
bi with no strong preference either way
only recently began to dabble with femininity in his gender presentation
steph is gnc transmasc (he/she, used interchangeably)
bi with a masc preference
no matter who you are, if you have a crush on steph, you're gay. them's the rules pal
richie is transmasc (he/it)
aroace spectrum! he's demi on both ends, fluctuates pretty often.
somehow incredibly perceptive to romance unless it directly involves him, then he's as dense as a brick
ruth is a girlthing because she's swag like that (she/it/they)
pan with a fem preference
her preferred type is pathetic mascs and intimidating fems
grace is fem-presenting nonbinary (she/they)
formerly closeted lesbian
had the WORST case of comphet until she realized she didn't necessarily have to be attracted to MEN to be attracted to masculinity :3
max is transfem (she/he)
she's a butch lesbian!!! she doesn't feel pressured to be hyper-feminine after realizing she's trans, because she's already pretty happy with her outward presentation
saw all her new friends going through their various gender and sexuality realizations and is just "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me :)" (it did)
OH also paul is richie's uncle! richie's dad is paul's older brother. they don't interact much but it is literally Autism to Autism
if the group were to fall victim to any of the Lords in Black, it'd probably be as follows:
max - wiggly. rage hatred biting nightmare nightmare >:3
steph - nibbly. he's got the closest ties to the CotSC and also we need more nibbly rep
pete - tinky. duh. probs gets trapped in the box in timelines where steph dies before him and he desperately wants to bring her back
richie - blinky. idk it's just vibes to me. he seems like the kind of guy to go nuts for eye symbolism
ruth - pokey. she's a theater kid and i think that pokey would have a field day shoving her into the fucked up and evil spotlight
grace - all of them. they take turns babysitting her in various timelines. she is their favorite child
richie 100% uses anime terminology to describe normal ass situations. he calls steph a tsundere once and steph has to act like her world wasn't just shifted two inches to the left for the rest of the day
oh also in redemption timelines they have movie / bingewatch nights!! they cycle between everyone's favorite shows or films. it's the best part of their week every single time
max was cast as a leading role the one and only time she ever auditioned for theater and it freaked her out so much that she declined the role
richie's hair is Like That because he tried to get the cool anime spiky hairstyle to work for him (it didn't) (he doesn't realize this until college)
pete was a greek mythology girlie i just know this. something about him screams "i read percy jackson way too much as a kid"
after grace realizes she doesn't have to be a "perfect" christian, she swears like a sailor
also grace hand embroiders all her clothes as a hobby! (this is semi-canon, since she has embroidered strawberries on the cuffs of her jeans in the show)
the first time steph smoked ouid, he made the mistake of using cbd oil and a pipe at the same time. man was in SPACE
all of them are poly with each other but at different levels:
steph and pete are Dating dating. so are max and grace. wholesome yaoi VS toxic yuri
ruth and steph are almost definitely "best friends" in the historical sense
richie and ruth are qpp. if they were both 100% straight they'd probably be the most annoying couple in the world
pete and richie kiss sometimes but its genuinely platonic for them. just bros being bros (they are so deeply in love and neither of them realize it until years later)
ruth and pete are friends to ??? to lovers to friends who cuddle sometimes
richie and steph are polar opposites but they love each other to death. black cat and orange cat kind of relationship
max and grace barely intersect with the nerds but they still consider all four of them to be part of their weird situationship
(grace definitely experimented with all four of them, with max's permission. just to be Sure. y'know.)
max is doing her best to make amends with the nerds but it is very slow going. she has gotten to casual fistbump level with them though!
the nerds usually just look at max and grace from the sidelines like they're watching two wild beasts circling each other in their enclosure. their flirting is NOT rated pg and it still baffles them how the local prude and the highschool football star managed to get together
richie unintentionally dropped the fact that he has a fursuit - a timberwolf, because i'm projecting - and ended up helping everyone design their fursonas.
pete is a traditional chimera (goat, snake, and lion), steph is a plain black cat, ruth is a flemish giant rabbit (she did research), grace is a sheep, and max is a checkered-tail nighthawk.
any time that the group gets spam calls, all they have to do is hand the phone to ruth and they get taken off the lists the moment she speaks. ruth was frustrated by it at first but it became a game of "how many companies can i inconvenience before they stop calling hatchetfield numbers entirely"
steph braided pete's hair once and he damn near proposed on the spot
ruth knows how to sew (from doing tech) and helps teach max how to mend her clothes! max ends up being really good at it! she goes on to teach the entire football team how to fix their uniforms and ruth ends up being the honorary team favorite for at least a year
im taking jon matteson's "richie should have blue hair in a movie version of NPMD" and fucking sprinting with it. he dyes his hair at least once a year and it's a wildly different color every time
ruth is the kind of gal to love games with lots of violence because it makes her feel like a badass vigilante (she can barely do a push-up in real life) (just like me)
steph is deeply afraid of large bodies of water. major L on his part seeing as he lives on a fucking island
bouncing off of the above hc, pete's afraid of planes. these two can't travel out of hatchetfield without one of them nearly shaking out of their own skin
max doesn't actually like football that much. she's REALLY good at it, yeah, but she'd prefer to play most other sports even if she isn't good at them! she likes the challenge of doing something she won't automatically win!
grace probably writes lists of things to keep everything in order. she's got lists of all her favorite foods, a checklist of daily chores, etc etc (it's also because she's got undiagnosed autism and she functions better when she has a Routine)
no matter what, pete will always stop and talk to the homeless man downtown. he doesn't really know why, though. (ted wishes he could say something to pete, but he never does. best to keep him at arms length.)
ruth really really really reeaaaally wants to cosplay but she's nervous that she'll be deemed as the "cringy weirdo" by other con-goers. she eventually admits this to richie, who rallies the group into a group cosplay for moral support
it takes a lot of convincing for them to find a fandom they all want to cosplay from. they settled on FNAF, specifically security breach bc it's Timely (they go to the con in 2022)
pete is glamrock freddy, steph is monty, ruth is glamrock chica, and max is roxy!
richie was glamrock bonnie and he gets so mad when the official design comes out a year later bc it was completely different than what he imagined
grace eventually agrees to dress up as vanessa (she never played the games) (she thinks FNAF is a real animatronic restaurant) (everyone they meet thinks she's method acting)
they end up crashing at ruth's place absolutely DRAINED. they all have imprints on their arms from carrying around an absurd amount of merch. pete nearly started a fistfight in the parking lot with a bakugo cosplayer. max nearly finished it.
they all agreed that it was one of the best things they've ever done and also to Never Do It Again
richie had a brief phase where he was obsessed with black butler and he regrets it to this day
grace and max both have scary dog energy but in different directions. max (post-transition) looks really intimidating at first glance but she's got golden retriever energy. grace will stare at you with the scariest fucking eyes if you're mean to retail employees
steph has always wanted a pet, but her dad never allowed it. when he moves out and gets an apartment with the nerds, they all agree to rescue a pair of bonded cats for his birthday. steph doesn't stop crying for at least an hour
steph and pete named one of the cats, while ruth and richie picked the other one's name.
Mittens is the Lautski baby, a black and white girlie who is incapable of mischief. she's like the disney ideal of a cat. she's a cuddle monster and will be so sad if you have to get up and do things without her
ruth and richie are the proud coparents of Sir Jotaro Gooberton (the Third). he is the most stupid tabby you will ever meet in your life and he has made the crime rate in the household go up tenfold.
a very common Lautski date night is going to the candle section of walmart and just sniffing every single one of those bad boys until they get a headache
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percy jackson sexuality headcanons
a/n: these are just my personal hcs of the pjo characters. if you don't like them, scroll past this. some of these will go against canon relationships
• percy jackson
bisexual man, tho i don't imagine him as a 'manly man'. he's the type of guy you'd want to put in a skirt and he agrees to it(absolutely rocks it btw). i don't really remember, but i think it's canon that he doesn't find overly masculine people attractive. he leans closer to fem-aligned genders. he mostly does this to fuck with other people and he and annabeth find it entertaining. genderqueer king.
• annabeth chase
bisexual woman, and im pretty sure that she also doesn't find overly feminine ppl attractive. she'd rather wear a suit over a dress anytime(she gives the dress to percy). one time she cut her hair along with percy and that was her genderfluid awakening.
• piper mcclean
lesbian. annabeth wearing a suit was her gay awakening. she thought she was bisexual when she still dated jason, but he came out first and it made their break up easier. likes presenting more masc. possibly butch4butch. also likes wearing suits over dresses. at one point she thought she was trans, but then she learnt the 'butch' label and it resonated more.
• jason grace
repressed gay™. bro literally postponed his realisation. having to go on quests from such a young age, having to be constantly perfect, he didn't have time to even think about his sexuality. like presenting masc, but he's comfortable enough with his masculinity to dress feminine for the fun of it. at first he felt a bit bad when he wanted to end things with piper—she was a great friend of his—but then she also came out as gay and it became a joke between them.
• thalia grace
aromantic asexual. never saw the point or the appeal in dating or having sex. when she first saw the term aroace it all came to her and thought 'yup, that's me'. she's a woman but like to use every pronoun.
• leo valdez
asexual demiromantic. as much as he flirts with others he doesn't real want a relationship, and even if he did he wanted to know the person and that they appreciated him as much as he did <33
• frank zhang
aromantic bisexual. took the 'bisexual to a-spec' pipeline but he realised that he liked his relationship with hazel, it's just that it wasn't romantic like he thought. cis man that uses he/him.
• hazel levesque
cis demisexual woman. didn't know what aromantic or demisexual was but after frank came out to her she also learnt about asexual and demisexual. likes she/they pronouns
• reyna avila ramirez arellano
im pretty sure she's canonically asexual. she thought she had a crush on jason for a long time but it was just admiration and intellectual attraction. she uses mostly she/her but also likes she/they.
• rachel e. dare
aromantic queen <33 didn't really want romantic relationships before becoming the oracle. and after it was forbidden so it was basically doing her a favour.
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Questions/info
Request check-list
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Next one coming up: Father figure Joel with an underage mute fem!reader who speaks sign language and has a really Hufflepuff stereotype personality (posting on Tuesday)
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Masterlist:
Overwatch
Maze Runner (also writing for any character from the books)
Hunger Games (also writing for any character from the books)
Harry Potter (also writing for any character from the books)
Arcane
Divergent (also writing for any character from the books)
The 100 (also writing for any character from the books)
Detroit Become Human
The Legend of Korra
Avatar The Last Airbender
The Arrow
The Umbrella Academy
The Sparrow Academy
The Last of Us 1
The Last of Us 2
Horizon Zero Dawn
Spider-Man across the spiderverse
Nimona
Outer Banks
Five Nights at Freddy’s
Afton Family
The Old Guard
Willow
Percy Jackson series
Percy Jackson books
Star Wars
MCU
Rules in general:
Respect each other’s requests
Respect the fact that there may be grammatic mistakes
I’m not writing character x character
If you’re homofobic or rasist, get out
Give me some info not just “(character) x y/n” or your request will be deleted
Not pairing lesbian x male or gender neutral
Not pairing gay x female or gender neutral
People that will be paired romantically based of their sexuality (those who are not mentioned don’t have a cannon sexuality so if you wanna you can request “the character x the same gender reader” if you wanna):
Tracer/Lena (Overwatch) = Lesbian (cannon)
Newt (Maze Runner) = Gay (cannon)
Vi (Arcane) = Lesbian (cannon)
Caitlyn (Arcane) = Lesbian (cannon)
Clarke Griffin (The 100) = Bisexual (cannon)
Octavia Blake (The 100) = Lesbian (books cannon)
Korra (The Legend of Korra) = Bisexual (cannon)
Asami (The Legend of Korra) = Bisexual (cannon)
Diego Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) = Bisexual (cannon)
Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) = Pansexual (cannon)
Viktor Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) = Trans + into women (cannon)
Bill (The Last of Us 1) = Gay (cannon)
Dina (The Last of Us 2) = Bisexual (cannon)
Ellie Williams (The Last of Us 1 + 2) = Lesbian (cannon)
Aloy (Horizon Zero Dawn) = Lesbian (cannon)
Ballister Boldheart (Nimona) = Gay (cannon)
Ambrosius Goldenloin (Nimona) = Gay (cannon)
Nimona (Nimona) = Gender non-conforming (cannon)
Andy (The Old Guard) = Lesbian (comics cannon)
Nicky (The Old Guard) = Gay (cannon)
Joe (The Old Guard) = Gay (cannon)
Kit Tanthalos (Willow) = Lesbian (cannon)
Jade Claymore (Willow) = Lesbian (cannon)
Rules for hcs:
Be specific don’t just write “character name x reader”
Rules for match ups:
Tell me about yourself - for example: personality, hobbies, what you don’t like, what you like etc.
Tell me if you want a female or male match-up
I don’t wanna mispronounce you, so if you’re comfortable with it, tell me your pronounce
Feel free to write anything about yourself, I won’t judge 🫶
Not doing match-ups for Harry Potter anymore
Rules for smut:
Be specific what you want that happened there so don’t just write (character name) x reader smut
Any genders
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