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cypaira-the-skeleton · 6 months

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Trick or Freak!

I know Halloween has passed, but it's still spooky week for me so enjoy this story I whipped up!

Fair warning, I really did my best to interpret one specific character that I started to like, and I must say I enjoyed writing his role as well.

Anywho, enjoy!

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T'was the night of Halloween. The streets were filled with Spooky decorations, Carved out Pumpkins, and almost an army of dressed up children going Trick or Treating with each passing house. Some where dressed as classical monsters, while others got creative; even a couple of not so scary characters roamed around. This year's spooky season was also being celebrated by a certain "Living possessed doll" with red ruby eyes, who goes by the name of Raven; Which decided to dress up as Annabelle. She roamed House by house excitedly exclaiming 'Trick or Treat!', receiving many kinds of sweets into her plastic shaped Skull bucket. Of course she wasn't alone, but was accompanied by her fathers.

Victor had dressed up as Michael Myers. Unfortunately, he spent a month or so searching for a mask that could fit him, but all of them where too small so instead of a mask he resorted to painting his face white; at least he was fortunate enough to find the jumpsuit he needed, albeit a bit sour for the lack of mask. As for Roger he decided to dress up as Freddy Krueger. Luckily for him he knew someone that possessed the iconic glove and borrowed it, his hat was taken from his own personal collection, and he coincidentally already owned a red and green striped sweater. Surprisingly enough they both got the attention for their costumes and some adults and teenagers even requested photos with them. Victor was quick to decline, but Roger took pleasure in posing in Krueger's creepy poses and malicious grins.

While walking to the next available household Raven has heard of an abandoned house, not too far from the neighborhood they're in, from a group of grown up kids. They described it as being maybe Fifthy years old, slowly falling apart, and presumably... something or someone is living in it. Upon hearing such details, Raven was pretty much eager to go visit this creepy old house. It is Halloween after all, it's the perfect occasion for the perfect month! There was only one small problem; neither of her fathers would probably allow her to go visit it. Why? Many of the reasons she presumed would be: A) It's Dangerous, B) It's probably a waste of time, C) Ghosts aren't real, and D) She doesn't need any sleepless nights over some "spooky house". She can ask, but what's the point if she knows the answer?

Now usually she never disobeys but an exception has to be made sometimes, even if it means that by the end of the night she'd probably have all the candy she collected revoked. By some strike of luck a couple of adults stopped to talk with Roger and Victor. Generally she'd be forced to wait for them to be done chatting, but instead she took the opportunity to slowly walk away, and bolt her way to the direction of the house. She just ran, not looking back once, knowing that at some point they'll notice her absence. It felt tempting to just turn back and not to worry her parents, but exploring a possibly haunted house was more intriguing! Raven kept running for maybe a minute or two, until she arrived at a dimly lit neighborhood. Not much houses were around, which made the street she's in more creepy, until at the end of the road she saw the infamous abandoned house.

The other kids were right, it really does look fifty years old and falling apart! It only begs one question: Is there really someone or something living inside? Although eager to find out, she couldn't help but shiver in fear of what could be in there. Raven was thought that Monsters and Ghouls are mostly fiction, and the real threats she's aware of are dangerous adults; but to think that some other wordly creature is actually roaming the place makes it a worthwhile experience. After gaining some courage, she roamed around the building finding for an entrance, since the rest of the house is boarded up. Thankfully she managed to find a hole on the side and crawled in.

Upon standing up from the dusty floor she was instantly met by a pitch black room. Good thing her fathers convinced her to bring a small flash light incase of an emergency. Reaching into the half filled bucket of sweets she found the flash light and turned it on, revealing a creepy, white sheet, cobweb coverd furniture of what seemed to be a living room. "Oh great, cobwebs! The last thing I want is a creepy spider crawling over to me" she sarcastically exclaimed to herself in displease of the discovery. The exploration was on. Slowly and carefully she walked around the room, discovering all sorts of forgotten items like creepy dolls and statuettes, and torn out books. The next room she stumbled upon seemed to be a kitchen. Similar as the previous one, run down and coverd in dust and webs; luckily no knives were around, but she did see a few innocent rodents!

The floor creaked with each step she took, debris floating in the air, and the sounds of rats scattering around made the experience even more ominous. A child her age would have already ran out in fear, but being used to living in the streets and forced to search for run down places for shelter, this experience wasn't as bad. Once the lower floor was scouted for good, her eyes trailed to a staircase. Pointing the flashlight upwards, a sudden chill went up her spine. Usually that's a sign of danger to her, but she blamed it on fear. The steps groaned loudly while making her way upstairs, despite that shes very light. As soon as she got off the last step, a shadow suddenly ran past to a room. Raven yelped in surprise, holding her only source of light with both hands, "Hello? Is someone there?" Her voice quiverd in fear. At this point she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand straight, and goosebumps quickly formed as well. Something felt off.

Gaining more courage, the little girl cautiously walked to the direction of were the shadow went. She peaked inside before slowly walking in. It appears to be an old bedroom, devoid of a bed, wallpaper and nightstand, the dim light of the moon soft glowing through a somehow intact dirty window. Maybe it was just her imagination, she wondered; that's until she heard rattling coming from a closet. Her body jolted in shock, freezing as she stared at the enclosed compartment. She practically had to force herself to even move from her spot and to very carefully approach one of the closed doors. Her hand trembled as she went to grasp the handle. Just as she was about to turn it, the doors flung open, and out emerged a horrifying being roaring at her. That instantly sent Raven to the floor screaming in fear and backing away. All of a sudden, she heard laughing. A dark sinister, and sadistic laugh. She scrambled for the flashlight she dropped and pointed it at the being, revealing it's appearance.

Infront of her stood a...man? He looked human but, apart from his almost ginger coloured, long and greasy hair and humanoid shape, he looked almost like a living creepy doll. The forearms, lower legs and around his lower jaw seemed to be skinless, revealing it's fabric looking Dermis. Screws seemed to be attached to his joints, toes and fingers seemed to resemble more like claws, holes almost littered his whole body, his teeth baren with laughter were long, thin, and sharp, but what was more odd was the fact that he seemed to have two black buttons for eyes. His clothes looked tattered; light blue shorts and a faded green shirt with what seems to be a hole in his thorso.

The creepy man's laughs started to lessen as he straightened himself back, releasing a deep satisfied sigh as he composed himself, "Ahhh~ I haven't laughed this hard in such a long time!" His voice sounded deep like a man in his early thirties and a bit raspy. Raven couldn't help but just... stare. The living "doll", after turning his attention back to her, approached the little girl with a toothy grin, "And what do we have here~?" He asked with a dark, intruiged tone. It was quite a surprise for him to see a child enter this old decrepit building without turning her heels back out. He had to admit, she had the guts to even follow him. Without warning the small girl sprung back to her feet, inspecting his presence with wide eyes, "Oh...My....God.....That's so cool!"

".....Eh?" The creepy man confusedly exclaimed at the sudden enthusiasm of the red eyed girl, "That is the coolest costume I've ever seen! How did you make it? It's so creepy!" Raven said as she circled around the creepy living doll, impressed at his appearance, "Wait- what!?" Now he was truly confused; costume? Did she really think he was wearing some scary disguise? "You're not....scared of me?" He asked. Once addressed with the question, Raven replied, "I mean, you did scare me quite a lot! But I obviously know you're just wearing a costume! Who are you supposed to be though? Is it someone from the movie 'Coraline'?" The man quickly replied back, "Okay okay okay! I have no idea what you're talking about! But for your information, I, am Robert! The god of Chaos!...and you are?"

" 'Robert god of Chaos'? Never heard of that! Oh, I'm Raven! I'm dressed up as-!"

"Yea yea yea I don't really care what you're dressed as" Robert rudely interrupted, "Sooo...You think I'm...fake?" He asked as he slowly came face to face with her. Truthfully, Raven couldn't understand why he asked that, "I know you're real as in... Living! But I know monsters don't exist! I'm well aware you're an adult trying to scare me! My parents always tell me that whatever I read or see on TV isn't always real. So no, I'm not scared of you!" Raven finished off confidently.

Interesting, Robert thought; this little girl is either bold...or really stupid. The toughts in his head were quickly silenced as Raven kept awing at his appearance, "How do you manage to see through the buttons? It must be difficult! And those teeth! Wow...how did you manage to make them look so realistic?"

Let's be honest, Robert stationed himself in this rotting building just so he could maybe aquire the perfect victim, especially since it's Halloween people would think it's a costume, thus gaining confidence and trust until he attacks. So far, all of the above has actually worked! But a child? The most supposed gullible and cowardly being? He expected some silly ghost hunters or a bunch of teenagers talking to their cameras. Instead he's met with a weird looking girl with the courage of a lion, and possibly the naivety of an idiot. Although, he could use her huge interest in his appearance as an advantage. She might not be enough, but he's up for a quick snack, "I impress you that much, huh?", the creepy man aksed, to which Raven quickly agreed. "How flattering!~ You see, it sure wasn't easy to...make this up" The god of Chaos played along, "and hearing you compliment my efforts makes me truly happy!".

He crouched down to her level, getting as close as possible to her, "Say, how about a hug as a sign of my gratitude?" He offerd with a not so convincing innocent smile. At this point on, Raven's instincts started to kick in pretty hard. His behaviour had changed from sadistic, to rude, to suddenly really kind. She also noticed how close he was getting to her. His arms positioned in a supposed 'hug', but his claw like hands seemed to be in a snatching position. She didn't know this man, and she should probably find an excuse as quick as possible, "Uhh... Sorry but... I'm not really a fan of hugs". Robert could feel she's starting to avoid him, so he pushed on, "Why not? You seem like the kind to love hugs~ Just a quick one, I promise" His voice was getting more sinister than ever as he kept playing innocent, "I'll even let you take a feel at my 'costume'! Especially my teeth....~" he finished his sentence as he idly licked his fangs with his slender long tounge.

Red flags blared in her head as her fight or flight instincts starting to kick in as well. Cautiously, she started to back away, "L-look, Mister Robert, I'm not really supposed to be here! I'm supposed to be with my parents so...I think it's better if I leave". She did manage to walk away from him, but the god was faster as he blocked her path, "Leaving so soon? You've just came here! Why don't you stay over for a quick bite?". She had to leave, fast! "I'm being serious, sir! I have to go back out before my parents become more worried sick!" In the blink of an eye she was suddenly pushed to a wall right beneath the window, with Robert having a good hold of her, "Alright little kid I guess that's enough games now.." he dropped his facade as he glared down at her, "Do you know how long I've been in here waiting for some schmuck to walk right into my trap? Long enough that I was tempted to eat the rats roaming around!"

"I-I'm sorry t-to hear that but could- coud you please let me go? You're really scaring me now..." although confused at his statement, she couldn't help but fear for her wellbeing. "Ohhh~ Now you're scared? I thought you where impressed by my appearance! Did you change your mind?" And once again, he's back to his condescending behaviour.

What does this man want from her? Her mind wondered. Having to unwillingly stare at his face she now noticed the huge stitched scar around his neck and more stitches around his lower jaw, almost seeming as if he was stitched together from separate parts. A part of her desperately wanted to believe that they're fake...but they looked so real. At this point, Raven was doubting if she was even facing a human.

Being already screwed up, she decided to tempt luck one last time, and clawed at the stitches on his throat; at least in hopes of escaping. Two audible pops were heard as her fingernails grabbed onto the couple of thick strands keeping his head on his shoulders. Robert automatically recoiled as he held onto his throat and hissed in pain, "Arrgh! That hurt you little shit!". Now she's definitely done it. Why the hell did she do that?? While keeping her pressed against the wall with his left hand, Robert used his right hand to practically "sew back" the loose stitches. Thankfully no blood was spraying about, but that definitely confirmed that what she's facing, was never human. She watched as he gruesomely poked his claws into his skin and tied back the loose strands. The skin looking overly stretched, almost threating to rip apart, "You're..... you're a real monster..." Her voice barely heard while her little frame shook with immense fear.

"Well not a 'Monster' per say...." He replied with a smug grin, "But I'll definitely be the last thing you'll see~" A deep dark chuckle emerged as drool started to drip from the corners of his mouth and almost drenching Raven, "Please.... don't hurt me", her soft voice begged. "Ohh don't worry I'm not gonna hurt you..." He paused, "I'm going to eat you!". That was even worse. She looked around for any means of escape, but she was cornered. "You might be skin and bones..." He pointed out as he trailed his thumb over her collar bone and the base of her neck, " and you're probably not gonna be filling enough..." Robert kept pondering as he slightly tapped his finger like claws over his stomach, "But! You should satisfy me enough until the next idiot that comes through this place. Now before I dig into you I need to remove whatever crap is on your face. I want to taste flesh, not pigments and chemicals" he mentioned at her make up as he tore a piece of Ravens costume revealing red shoes and a pair of jeans underneath the gown, and started to roughly remove the colours off her face.

She groaned in discomfort as he wiped off her blush, lipstick and eyeliner with a very harsh manner. Once done he creepily smiled as he threw the fabric aside, keeping a good hold to the back of her head and her shoulder while drooling with anticipation "There we go. All ready~". All that Raven could do now, was stare. Her body was too frozen to react, her voice was restricted, and life started to flash before her eyes as tears slowly trailed down her cheeks, probably going to serve more as additional taste to her flesh, "You don't need to cry, little Raven, I'll make sure they'll at least be able to find your bones; unless I "accidentally" eat those too" claimed the twisted god in a narcissistic tone. That was it for the girl, her life was over. She wondered if she said ' I love you ' to her parents that morning, if she had a chance to give them a hug as well, letting them know she's glad to have them in her life. The row of yellow stained teeth parted ways as a cavernous maroon maw was revealed. Spit flowing as it drenched her even more, the slick sound of the slithering tounge was just sickening to hear, and she swore she could spot more teeth on the back of his troath. It got closer...and closer...her head almost engulfed...the tounge trailing around her face....waiting for the bite to happen....

"RAVEN WHERE ARE YOU?!"

A familiar voice suddenly pierced the eery quietness of the neighborhood, halting the living creepy mannequin mid way from his task. Hope suddenly rushed through Raven's soul, recognising the voice of one of her beloved fathers. It was Victor, and it sounded like it came right outside the house! Robert growled as he retreated from the girls skull, hissing out a curse, "Ohhh for Fuck Sake!". The little girl didn't hesitate to call for help, "Da-!", but was quickly silenced as the man's hand wrapped around her mouth, "You shut your trap!". To avoid being seen he peeked out the window as he kept a hold of Raven.

Once the absence of Raven was noticed, both fathers instantly got into panic mode. Was she abducted? Did she get lost? Did she stray away with another group of children? The options were endless, and waisted no time looking for their daughter. Minutes into the search Roger started to have an odd feeling of were Raven could be. It might have been a distance, but he could feel that 'someone' was lingering in the human world, and she was headed to 'their' direction; which now brings us to the moment Raven was temporarily spared as soon as Victor called out for her, "Are you definitely sure she's here? It's not like I'm doubting due to your blindness but..." The giant man expressed his worries to his equally worried partner, "No offense taken...I just Know she's here, and she's very close", Roger claimed with a concerned expression. While Victor took the opportunity to search on the other side of the street, Roger just stood there... evaluating his surroundings.

"What the fuck is 'he' doing here?" Robert silently aksed to himself. He looked at the blind man that he somehow seemed to know, and the blind man, stared back. Once his blue eyes met with Robert's button ones a sharp chilling feeling crawled up his spine. The sinister smile had long faded away, and was replaced to a worrying look. He instantly turned his attention to the little girl as he uncovered her mouth and tugged onto the collar of the dress, demanding some answers, "How the hell do they know you?" Although confused and still scared, she replied, "They're...M-my dads...". Her answer seemed to have stunned him, "Even the blind man?? How's that possible??". It's really odd how all of a sudden he seems to be scared, "Roger ....he...he adopted me".

"..... Fuck this!" Suddenly Robert stood up, forcing Raven onto her feet, "I am NOT in the mood to fight, or get into a quarrel, or even be punched around!" He grabbed Raven from her arm and forced her to walk downstairs, making sure he doesn't dislocated a shoulder or else there'll be consequences. Once arrived at her point of entrance, he let go, "You're right. You are absolutely not supposed to be here! So you should get the fuck out, Never come back, and if we meet again, YOU. DONT. KNOW. ME!". So many questions flodded Raven's head, but wasted no time to crawl back out from the hole and sprint to her fathers, "Ddaaaaadddd!" She yelled as she hurled herself onto Roger, almost knocking him over while simultaneously knocking the air out of him as her little frame wrapped tightly around his thorso. Victor quickly noticed as well and made his way to them, "Raven we've been looking for you all over the town!" He exclaimed with relief as he approached.

Even if she was busy crying, she looked to them both with tears just running down here face, sobbing loudly as she spoke "I'm s-sorrryyyyy *hic* I shouldn't have do-done thiissss!!". Personally, Victor wanted to hug her, at least to show he's glad she's back. As for Roger, he hasn't really said or did anything, he just let Raven cry, waiting for her to calm down. Once the cries lessened, and the girl finally decided let go; leaving Roger's sweater drenched in tears, she aksed, "Are you...*sniff*..mad at me?". Victor wasn't sure what to answer despite it being a resounding 'Yes', but Roger spoke up first, "I'm not mad.... I am beyond Livid!" His once gentle voice soon turned brash and loud, "Just what on earth did ya think ye where doin' walking off from us like that?! Do ya even realise how irresponsible of you that was?? Of all places you wanted ta be it had to be here! What if you where taken hostage or worse killed?? And what if that house decided ta crumble over? Ya would ave' been stuck under the rubble! I just can't believe you would have the guts to get yerself in danger like that! I don't care if you're just a kid, yer old enough to know what's wrong from right! And THIS was NOT Right!!".

Both Victor and Raven were left speechless. How was it possible for a man like him to be This mad? Roger huffed with exhaust for how much he yelled, and Raven was hesitating if to cry again at his sudden outburts or avoid getting him more...livid, "I said I'm sorry..." She replied with an obvious guilty tone as she avoided his eyes, " 'Sorry' won't save ya from getting in trouble, Missy!" He sternly replied with crossed arms. At this point Victor felt to intervene as he lowered himself to Roger's level and whispered, "Look Roger, I know we're both upset at her for disappearing on us, but don't you think you're being a bit too harsh right now? I mean, she came to us crying! We don't even know what happened to her!". Although he's got a point, Roger made it clear that to love, you sometimes have to be cruel, "Just because she came ta us crying doesn't excuse the fact she risked her own life. You shouldn't let tears make you too soft in situations like this". He was the one with more experience in raising a child after all, and Victor, despite having the role of a father as well, still had more to learn.

"Once we're home, you're in for Loonng lecture of why you should never walk away from us". Raven just knew this would happen; maybe not as much but still! She knows it's her fault that she risked her own safety just because curiosity took the best of her. She was almost eaten alive, and all because she thought it was a costume! Disguise or not, she should have left the moment she spotted Robert's shadow running by. "First things first..." Roger chimed in as he reached out to Raven, pulling her into an affectionate tight hug. The red eyed girl was puzzled at first, that's until her father continued with a softer tone of voice, "Don't you ever do that to us ever again. Do you understand?" He almost sounded like he was about to cry. Yes, he acted a bit harsh, but it doesn't mean he didn't love her! As crazy as it may sound, if Victor was worried, Roger was twice as much! He feared to never hear her voice again, he was scared that she'll never come back. He wouldn't have forgiven himself if they didn't show up in time! He's been with her the longest, did everything to give her a future and life she truly deserved...all his attempts would have went to waste, and his wish to be a father would be short lived.

Raven slowly hugged back, and shyly asked, "You still love me though.... right?" The blind man redirect her gaze to him as he gently pressed his forehead to hers, "Ohh you can't Even imagine how much I love you. And just because I'm upset doesn't make me hate you or love you less". It felt relieving to hear him confirm it, but she just couldn't forgive herself to worry him like that, "I truly am sorry...I mean it" she repeated. He knows she is, but further discipline will come later. He gave her a long kiss to her forehead as he shortly stood up a moment later, "Let us go home now. It's getting late". That was Victors cue to pick up Raven and give her a big hug as well as carrying her back home. While Victor walked off, Roger gave one last glare at the window, were Robert was looking through with now raised arms as if saying 'I swear I'll never attempt to hurt her again'. With his hand, Roger pointed two fingers at his blind eyes, to then pointing them to the god of Chaos, simply warning, 'I'm keeping my watch on you', and went to join the rest of his family.

Once gone, Robert rested against the wall as he finally let out a sigh of relief, "shhiittt what a night! Guess I will be forced to eat rats after all" he claimed with a grudge. He barely took four steps as he kicked something plasticy and spilled it's contents over. Looking down he realised it was the girls bucket of sweets she came in with! He kneeled down as he picked up a bar of wafer covered chocolate. He barbarically tore off the top wrapper with his teeth, and proceeded to take a bite. He slowly chewed as his taste buds received quite the new flavour that wasn't raw meat. He sat down, and proceeded to take another bite, "Eh, much better than the rodents" He shrugged to himself. Although he never got to have a new prey that night, he at least wasn't going to spend it hungry.

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Ngl it was a blast writing this story 😁, and I also did insert references to Roger being The Impossible God and obviously being aware of Robert, I just wanted to make it interesting.

Lill Robert, Roger Willington, and Victor Bellman, all belong to @horrorartist23

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favcharacterpoll · 7 months

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ROUND 5 MATCH 16: LINK VS. NICO

Link from BotW/TotK faces Nico di Angelo from the Riordanverse. Who do you like more?

Link Propaganda:

"i love this guy"

"I love him so much, okay? He's the only person capable of wielding the Master Sword, bears the Triforce of Courage, and was chosen by the goddess Hylia to protect Hyrule"

"Pretty boy"

"ok so link is like the best character ever imo cause have you seen what he looks like in totk he's so gender and ahhh and he's really cool and I love him so so much <333 and oot link is really cool and he's my whole childhood, and I love skyward sword and wind waker link cause they're so expressive, and I love twilight princess wolf link I just love all versions of link so much<3 only exception is the version from the philips cdi games he's so goofy" (focus on the totk part of this one)

"link is THE Gender Envy icon pretty boy pretty boy with sword!!"

Nico Propaganda:

"autism"

"YOU KNOW WHAT. if autism isn't enough to compel you to VOTE NICO then i will write this.

ok so he's gay & european (like the legally blonde song) and also a goth. we love our goths here on tumblr right?!

first i need to provide you a visual. please imagine a small italian boy. now imagine that small italian boy going through a time machine hotel casino in vegas, some wack crazy traumatic incidents, becoming an alt/emo kid and being so fucking powerful that even gods show a little more respect to him than others...

nico has gone through literal hell TWICE !! one time it was VOLUNTARY !! and all the while he was probably experiencing said hell in its most terrifying form. this shows us his mental resilience and selflessness are incredibly strong traits of his and that maybe he should stop being a reckless bitch but whatever !!!!!!

tumblrinas listen up... nico was the first canon lgbt+ character created by rick riordan in the chb chronicles (i am not counting all the other gods, goddesses, minor deities and other figures of greco-roman myth). he was the trailblazer. his story didn't end in tragedy, but he found friendship and love and family, which in this age of upsetting "bury your gays" media is still quite hopeful to read!!

nico has a sunshine bf who would literally walk through hell with him!! i'm not kidding. this actually happened. i'm sure he's definitely cheering from the sidelines somewhere... please do not let will solace down!!

did i mention nico's the son of hades, god of the underworld?? this means his powers include, but are not limited to, being able to communicate with spirits via mcdonalds happy meals, wielding a sword that rends souls asunder, turning people into ghosts, re-animating skeletons, shadow traveling and being able to read other people's death auras.

these powers and his terrifyingly grumpy personality (in earlier books) have created a reputation famous among the demigods and deities. also he literally summons an entire skeleton army and rises from the fucking underworld with his father, stepmother and step-grandmother (all gods) (how does this work) in tow, inspiring FEAR and PANIC among the enemy lines.

and if that's not enough, he's friends with lizard people, his signature items of clothing are a BIG AVIATOR JACKET + SKULL RING = VERY GOOD CHARACTER DESIGN and his hair canonically smells like rain on stone. just so you know

VOTE NICO VOTE NICO VOTE NICO !!!!!!!!!!!"

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blue-gem-overlord · 1 month

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Hello, you sinners of Tumblr(or whatever this app is).

My name isn’t important, but I’m known as Jewel for the meantime. Use she/her and they/them pronouns so BE respectful or you’ll end up like those FOOLS

(Translate: Hello, you sinners of Tumblr(or whatever this app is). My name isn’t important, but I’m known as Jewel for the meantime. Use she/her and they/them pronouns so BE respectful or you’ll end up like those FOOLS)

My Princ-Charlie Morningstar(taking over her account for a while) - @charlie-morningstar666

Her stupid ass father, king of hell - @king--of--ducks

(Ooc:They’re part of the lore and yes I asked their permission-)

The ROTTEN Princess stealer/Charlie’s Angel pet - @the-moth-ex-angel

My Helper in Secret - @striker-bootleg-william-afton

Creepy Duck Sinner - @ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer

Some Skeleton Bitch - @dustsansm1

(Ooc:This character is mine and everyone else in this belong to Vizie. This is just for fun and drama. The art at the top belong to me. This character is cruel and mean so get ready for some mean response, but remember it’s JUST the character. I don’t intend to harm or hurt anyone at all. Also same mod who plays Charlie and Vaggie-)

(This is what Jewel look like and a few things about her-if you WANT to redesign them. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF DUCKS!! Ask permission first and then credit me(by tagging me). Don’t be jerks)

(Fanart made by @sockmanduckman . It’s so beautiful I wanna cry-)

(Another beautiful art, but this time by @lilith--morningst4r . It’s too goddamn beautiful)

(Another amazing art from @vox-tv-demon mod. Y’all making me cry)

Lore

Chapter 1

Part 1 - The Phone Call(rp with @king--of--ducks )

Part 2 - The Holy Weapon(Rp with @striker-bootleg-william-afton and yes, I asked their permission )

Part 3 -The Warning(rp with @dustsansm1 and yes I asked their permission)

Part 4 - The Meet-Up(rp with @striker-bootleg-william-afton )

Part 5 - The Reunion(rp by myself-it’s lonely and weird, but the show must go on)

Part 6 -Triggers(rp with @ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer )

Part 7 - A little Chat (rp by myself-yay)

Part 8 -Suspicious(Rp with @dustsansm1 )

Part 9 -Meeting an Ex’s father(rp with @king--of--ducks and MAN-it got angst)

Part 10 - More Than Anything(rp with @king--of--ducks )

Rest of chapter 1 is in @the-exes-lore ‘s pin post

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crippled-peeper · 9 months

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So you lash out at other disabled people because you're insecure about your own suicidal ideation and bipolar disorder? Meanwhile you have strangers paying your bills because you aren't responsible enough to just work like everyone else with the same disorders that you have? As someone with the same diagnosis as you plus more I really think that you're a loser and you need to just suck it up and stop being a bully to other disabled people because some of us have it harder than you and we bitch a lot less. Seriously if you're going to just post constantly that you're going to kill yourself either stop posting or get a fucking therapist stop traumatizing other people and bullying and harassing other disabled people just because you are a piece of shit.

y’all are still pretending to be traumatized by tumblr posts because the person who made them is disabled and mentally ill?

that’s so embarrassing dude and sounds like something you should’ve kept to yourself

also love the implication the only reason I don’t work is because I’m bipolar and lazy and just not as good as you are.

I have 2ft of metal holding my skeleton together, shitforbrains. I’m so glad you could flex on those big meanie quadriplegics tho. Does it feel good? Does it fill the void where your brain is supposed to be?

You’re definitely winning this imaginary dick measuring contest that only exists in your imagination. Just a few more bootstraps and maybe you’ll win a sticker from your boss that says “I’m a good and respectable wage slave!!!” 😂 😂 😂

#ableism

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slutforstabbings-archive · 1 year

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Clean Again

survivor!Corey Cunningham x fem!Reader

After miraculously surviving the injuries he sustained on Halloween 2022 and narrowly avoiding arrest, Corey Cunningham lives in constant fear of being found out. He tries to keep his head down and be as invisible as possible but the first time he sees you, you see him too. Can he have a relationship with you without you really seeing ALL of him? What happens when you eventually catch a glimpse of his secret? Is love worth the risk?

new chapters posted every Thursday between 9 and 10 EST

Chapter 1: ESCAPE FROM HADDONFIELD read on AO3 | tumblr chapter index

general warnings for this fic - angst, fluff, eventual smut (MDNI), canon-typical violence, canon-typical gore contents/warnings for this chapter- gun violence, long hospitalization, prescription pain killers, wishing for death, description of a corpse, referenced past abuse (fuck you joan)

5,668 words

@rebel-blue @heartrot666 @wolvesandvampires @cordelium @toxicanonymity @multifandom--mess @hersweetrevenge @futurewife @yllcm dm me or reply to this post to be added to my tag list 💕

Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh.

It’s pitch black. Corey can’t tell if his eyes are open or closed. He can’t hear anything except a distant beeping, punctuated by occasional whooshing. The sounds feel familiar, but he can’t figure out why. Then they fade away.

God it hurts! Everything hurts, pain like he’s never felt before. Can a person die from pain? Or is this pain what dying feels like? What being dead feels like? What Hell feels like? If he’s dead, and Hell is real, that’s certainly where he’s wound up.

But now what’s this? A new sensation, like being swarmed by ants. And the ants eat him, all the way down to shiny, clean bones. Skeletonized. The places where he’s been reduced to bone no longer hurt.

There are voices. Speaking in a language it seems wrong for him to hear. Something alien, or maybe something lost not long after we started walking upright. They’re warped, and warbling, like they’re being played at the wrong speed. There’s that beeping sound again. Laughter. It’s laughter, and they’re all laughing at him.

Corey sits on the witness stand at his manslaughter trial. The gallery of the courtroom is full of people. But as he looks the crowd over he realizes it’s really all just one person.

It’s Momma, 20 Mommas, only able to comfort him for a few minutes at time before she makes all his problems about herself. No one will ever love you like I do, and this is how you repay me? You’re killing me Corey! Is that what you want? To kill your mother?

It’s Laurie, 20 Lauries. Aiming revolvers at him. Do you wanna do it, or you want me to? She asks before unleashing a hail of bullets. They ricochet wildly around the courtroom, splintering the wood of the witness stand, releasing tiny explosions of drywall, shattering every lightbulb overhead. Riddling Corey’s body with holes, turning him into Swiss cheese. Then the dust settles and everything is normal again.

It’s Doug. 20 Dougs, guts spilling out of his stomach, throat gurgling and full of blood. You’ll be lucky if you make it back to the station. I oughta put you in the ground, you psycho son of a bitch!

It’s Michael. No. 20 people wearing Michael’s mask, but none of them are Michael. One by one they reveal their true face. Corey’s face. Each one puts a finger up to his lips. Shhhh. Then he disappears.

The Corey on the witness stand turns to the judge. It’s Jeremy, neck lolling, blood gushing from his split scalp. Answer the question, loser! Did you kill me on purpose or not!! He screams without moving his slack, dead mouth. Now the judge is Mrs. Allen, and she leans down to him, still screaming in Jeremy’s dead voice. You think you can just have fun with your friends!? You don’t have any friends, you ugly, white trash nerd!

A hole opens in the floor of the witness stand and Corey falls. He falls down, and down, and down further than that.

He lands with a hard thump on the floor of the sewer. Pain radiates through his limbs and he gasps for air. Something crunches and squelches beneath him. He scrambles to his feet and looks at what he was laying on. His own corpse. Rotting and partially eaten, rats and insects swarming it. It’s wearing the silly scarecrow mask.

He removes the mask from his own dead face. The inside is full of bugs. He shakes them onto the ground, then puts it on. As soon as it touches his face, he panics. His fingers skitter over the hard plastic surface, desperate to claw it off, but it’s stuck like it’s fused with his skin.

Allyson pulls the mask off of him. He’s lying in a puddle of his own blood, and she’s hovering over him, holding his head in her hands. She thinks he’s dead. Her tears fall onto his face and slowly dissolve him until he’s nothing but a stain on the hardwood floor.

Corey opens his eyes. He can’t see anything, but he knows his eyes are open.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh.

Oh. I’m in the hospital, he thinks. He closes his eyes again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning of November 2nd has barely begun, but there is chaos brewing in the Warren County Sheriff’s Department. With Michael Myers turned into hamburger, things seemed like they would be calm for quite some time, and yesterday had been a great beginning. But this morning Joe Grillo and Joe Ross came to work with vengeance in their hearts. They corner Richard Wright as he fills the coffee pot with water from the cooler.

“You collected a handprint from a glass door at the Mathis scene, right?” Grillo demands.

“Yes?” Richard replies in confusion.

“Did you run the prints?” Asks Ross.

“No. It was a Michael Myers murder. We only collected the print because we didn’t realize it was him right away. Why would we run it?”

“Did you ever see Michael Myers before he was shredded, Dick?” Ross asks.

“Big guy,” says Grillo. “Gigantic hands.”

“Okay…?” Richard says, still confused.

“Handprint you collected at the Mathis scene looks kinda small to be Michael,” Grillo explains.

“It could belong to Mathis, or the girl we found at the scene.”

“Nope,” Grillo says. “Too small to be Michael, too big to be one of the victims. Could belong to a fourth person.”

“Could belong to Corey Cunningham,” Ross adds.

Richard takes a second to process this information. “Cunningham was a Myers victim too. He was barely clinging to life when we found him.”

“He got in Doug’s face at the diner on my birthday,” Grillo says. “Doug disappeared right after that. Seems suspicious, doesn’t it?”

“Seems like a coincidence,” Richard says. He moves to walk away but Joe Grillo and Joe Ross press in on him. Water sloshes out of the coffee carafe in Richard's hand.

“Oh yeah? Remind me who the victims were at the scene when you investigated,” prompts Ross.

“Tanner Mathis and Deborah Jennings. So what?”

“Jennings worked at the Mathis clinic. Know who else worked there?” Grillo asks. “Allyson Nelson,” the Joes say in unison.

“Great police work,” Richard says sarcastically, trying again to walk away from the conversation. Joe Ross and Joe Grillo just tighten their press on him, until he can smell the unique reek of their combined breath.

“Allyson was with Cunningham at the diner on my birthday,” Grillo growls.

“Joe, this town is fucking tiny. I’m sure everyone in the diner on your birthday was connected to each other and Michael Myers in some way. You’re grieving. We’re all grieving. But you can’t let that cloud your judgement. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” Richard finally manages to shoulder his way out from between the Joes and the water cooler.

“Not everyone in the diner that night killed a kid!” Ross says after him.

Richard turns on his heel. “Jeremy Allen’s death was an accident. Cunningham was acquitted.”

The Joes laugh mirthlessly. “Run the fucking prints, Dick.” Grillo says.

“What’s going on here?” Asks Frank Hawkins as he comes into the break room. He hadn’t heard much, but his ears had pricked up at the name Cunningham. Frank numbered among the few in the Warren County Sheriff’s Department who had believed in Corey’s innocence from the beginning. He’d felt a pang of sadness when he’d seen the poor boy’s body crumpled in the foyer at Laurie’s house two nights ago, and he held a tiny kernel of hope that he would survive his injuries.

“Just trying to make sure our police work is thorough and complete, Frank,” says Joe Ross.

“They wanna run the handprint from the Mathis scene,” Richard clarifies.

“That was a Michael Myers murder, and Michael Myers is dead.”

“Michael Myers is. But Corey Cunningham isn’t,” Grillo says.

“Yet,” Ross adds darkly.

“Why would it be Corey Cunningham’s handprint?” Frank doesn’t follow.

“They think he had something to do with Doug’s disappearance. Mathis and Jennings both worked with Allyson Nelson.” Richard rolls his eyes, something he’s found cause to do quite a lot of this morning.

Frank doesn’t like this at all. He feels a kind of paternal care for Allyson, as Laurie’s granddaughter. He’s not sure what her relationship with Corey is, but he wants to protect her, protect both of them after they’ve been through so much.

“Michael Myers is responsible for Doug’s disappearance.” Frank says. “Let it rest. We all need to try to move on.”

“You can move on. I’m gonna run those fucking prints,” Joe Ross says.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Corey comes to his senses slowly, head unfogging a little bit every day. He struggles to make meaning out of the things happening around him, to remember why he’s in the hospital. It seems like something he should know.

Today Corey feels the best he’s felt since he realized he was in the hospital. He’s still in pain, excruciating pain. He tries to move around but it feels like his body has forgotten how to. His muscles groan and his nerves tingle. His arms and legs are heavy and wooden. But his brain is churning. His thoughts are more than just smears.

The TV on the wall in the room is turned on. Through the blur without his glasses, he recognizes Judge Judy. Ron likes Judge Judy, he remembers. Then he feels sick. Something bad happened to Ronald.

A nurse comes into the room. Corey can’t move his head, but he moves his eyes towards her. Her wavy brown hair is pulled into a ponytail.

“You’re awake! Welcome back to Earth!” She says to him as she putters around the room. “Are you hungry? I can have them deliver some solid food for your lunch now that you’re awake.” She checks his vitals and marks them in his chart.

“Yes, please,” Corey whispers raggedly. His voice is small and unfamiliar to him.

“How’s your pain?” The nurse asks, vial and syringe in hand. He can’t find an answer. It’s awful, but it doesn’t feel like it’s happening to him. This stiff, immobile body isn’t attached to anything. Someone else is in pain in this hospital bed. He rolls his eyes around, trying to see the nurse better without rotating his head. “Well I’m gonna give you some morphine, okay? Right in your IV, and you’ll feel better in a flash.” She plunges the medicine into the line, and Corey feels it move slimily around in not-his veins.

“Thank you, Allyson,” he croaks.

“My name’s not Allyson, hon.” She leans over him so he can see her better and taps her name tag. “I’m Nancy. I’m making sure the TV remote and the nurse call button are within your reach if you need them, okay?” He feels her press two rectangles of plastic into his right hand. Then she leaves and Corey drifts away on the morphine.

He wakes up to someone else coming into the room. A blond boy in his late teens, pushing a tower full of trays. He removes one and brings it over to the bedside table. Corey rolls his eyes towards the boy and watches him uncover the food and adjust the height of the table.

“Enjoy your lunch, Mr. Cunningham,” the boy says as he leaves the room.

Corey looks down at the food. A plate of spaghetti sits in the center of the tray. His stomach turns. Fucking spaghetti. Momma’s worst meal, he thinks. Still, he finds himself suddenly ravenous. He shovels the spaghetti into his mouth as quickly as he can with his heavy arms and frozen neck. It surprises him that it’s not disgusting. Of course Momma didn’t make this spaghetti, he thinks. Momma’s dead. He stops chewing mid-bite.

He’s certain his mother’s dead, but he can’t remember why. How did she die? Motorcycle accident? No, that was Daddy. But then why can he picture her body, slouched and covered in blood? He feels like the answer is in his head, right there, in front of him, but he can’t quite reach it. After a moment trying, he gives up and goes back to eating.

It’s later. Corey doesn’t know what time it is, or what day. Only that it must be evening and it must be a weekday, because it’s dark outside and Jeopardy! is on the TV. He hears voices outside his room, he thinks they’re saying his name. He gropes for the remote and hits the mute button when he finds it.

“Is that the Corey Cunningham in there?” A voice says.

“What do you mean?” Another replies. This one is sort of familiar.

“You don’t know about Corey Cunningham!?” The first voice hisses.

“Can’t say I do,” Nancy answers.

“Oh my god! I heard about his case on this podcast I listen to, Manslaughter Monday . He killed a kid he was babysitting in 2019. Threw him over the railing of the stairs from the third floor! The kid cracked his head wide open when he landed. And the fucking jury let him off! He claimed it was an accident and that the kid was pulling a prank on him when everything went wrong. I don’t buy it for a second.” The first voice giggles.

“Maybe you should listen to fewer podcasts,” Nancy sneers.

Corey hears two sets of feet retreating from his door and down the hall.

Suddenly everything crashes in on him. Memories battering him in unrelenting waves. He remembers how he got hurt. He remembers the bad thing that happened to Ronald. He remembers how his mother died. And he remembers Allyson, cradling his head in her hands, certain he was dead. Ice runs through his veins as he realizes that Allyson is probably dead now too, because he woke Michael Myers up. He promised Allyson he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. But he had happened to her.

Corey sobs, a massive, heaving sob. Sitting in the dark, the glow of the TV on him like a spotlight. The grief builds and builds until it feels like it’s smothering him. Squeezing his throat the way Michael had in the sewer. He screams, but no sound comes out except a faint and rattling rasp. The beeps on his heart monitor accelerate to break neck speed, but nobody comes to check on him. He is completely and utterly alone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

While Joe Ross sends the bloody handprint from the glass at the Mathis crime scene through the computer, Joe Grillo calls Haddonfield Memorial Hospital. Grillo is transferred from department to department. No one seems to know what happened to Corey Cunningham on Halloween night. Of course not. HMH administration has always been a shit show. When his daughter was born, Grillo half expected them to give him the wrong baby.

The handprint doesn’t go any better. Four of the fingers are smudged and one is only partial. The computer can’t read them. Ross has to make a special request for a human expert to analyze the prints. That only escalates things with Richard Wright and Frank Hawkins.

“Frank needs to learn it’s time to retire,” one Joe complains to the other.

“He’s only obstructing us because he wants to protect Laurie Strode. Well, fuck Laurie Strode!” The other Joe says.

Doug’s body still hasn’t been recovered. Why should they protect that old broad’s peace when their best friend is missing and it’s the Cunningham cunt’s fault?

The two sides split the Sheriff's Department. Most of the men on the force agree with the Joes. Cunningham got off too easy after he killed Jeremy Allen and they hope he’s still alive so they can have their second chance to fry him. Metaphorically, thanks to Illinois doing away with the death penalty. But there are those who believe investigating the murders and Doug’s disappearance is a waste of resources now that Michael is finally gone for good. Even most of them don’t think Corey is particularly innocent. They just don’t want to deal with the whole mess any longer than they already have.

The tension around the station is palpable. Some deputies have refused to speak to those on the other side of the issue. Joe Ross’s own father Elvis has been short with him since all this started. He’s never said he thinks Joe should end the investigation, but he doesn’t have to. Just as Ross starts to worry that the Sheriff will call everything off, the prints come back from the human expert.

Joe Ross sits at his desk with the envelope in his hands. He taps his foot impatiently as he waits for Joe Grillo to show up. Finally, Ross sees him approaching. Before Grillo even gets all the way to his desk, Ross is unsealing the envelope. His gut is telling him the news is bad, and he wants to rip the bandaid off. Grillo arrives at his elbow just as he slides the report out.

Thumb and pointer finger inconclusive. Too smudged even for the county’s top expert to get anything from. Middle finger, ring finger, and partial pinky — positive identification. There it is, the thing that Ross has been hoping to read for weeks, but was convinced he’d never see. Suspect Name: Corey Cunningham. He turns to Grillo to celebrate just as the other Joe’s phone rings.

“Grillo,” he answers gruffly, annoyed at the interruption. Ross strains to overhear the conversation, but only gets one side. “You did?… Okay, so where… Let me get something to write this down.” He gestures roughly to Ross who shoves a pen and a sticky pad into his hands. Ross watches as Grillo writes down an address a couple hours away from Haddonfield.

“Is this it?” He mouths to Grillo, who waves him away as he finishes his phone call. “Is this it?” He repeats as Grillo hangs up.

“That’s it. He was airlifted. He was only at Haddonfield Memorial to get onto the helicopter and someone fucked up his records. I’m leaving right now to go see if that motherfucker is still alive.” The Joes high five in triumph as Grillo shrugs into his coat.

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Nancy is sitting by herself at the nurse’s station organizing paperwork when a cop walks up. He’s not dressed like local police, his uniform is green. The patch on his bicep says Warren County. He smacks his badge on the counter and clears his throat.

“Yes?” She replies in a sour voice.

“You got a Corey Cunningham as a patient in here?” The cop asks.

“I don’t know, deputy, do you have a warrant?” Nancy attempts to match his posture and tone.

After Dottie, that vulture from maternity, had come to ask about Corey the other night, Nancy had gone home and done some research. She found the podcast and listened to it, despite her usual distaste for true crime bullshit. The storytelling was garbage and the hosts seemed to derive an obscene pleasure from the suffering of everyone involved, but it gave her a basic understanding of what happened. Afterwards, she found a YouTube channel that posted a video claiming to analyze the psychology of Corey’s police interview. It had been a long time since Nancy took psychology, but she knew most of the claims in the video were bogus, just like the podcast. She tuned most of the narration out, focusing on the footage of Corey. She couldn’t help but care for the boy in the interrogation video. He seemed so small and naive. Completely unprepared for the harsh reality of what happened to him.

The arresting officer was a real piece of work too. Lying to Corey and making thinly veiled threats to his safety. If this is how he behaved when he knew the conversation was being recorded, she could only imagine how he treated suspects outside of the camera’s watchful eye. When Corey turned his frightened face towards the lens, Nancy felt like he was looking right into her eyes, begging for her help.

When the video ended she moved onto news stories, trying to find a less biased perspective. It proved difficult. His trial had to be moved to a different county because he had no hope for an impartial jury in his home jurisdiction. The town had a serial killer problem or something, and Corey’s accident had turned him into the villain they needed. It was sick. And that blabbermouth Dottie was probably telling everyone in the hospital that they had a real life murderer in their midst.

That was when Nancy had first started caring for Corey, when he had just been transferred out of the ICU. She’d felt deeply disturbed while reading his chart, and absolutely astounded that he’d survived. Two gunshots, a stab wound, and a broken neck. Multiple large bruises and massive soft tissue damage, some of which was already old and healing. Mild concussion, also days old. Cuts, scrapes, friction burns. A nasty gash in his palm that looked like it had already been stitched closed once, with a bright red spider web of infection streaking from it.

Was it lucky or unlucky that the knife had passed right between major veins and arteries? That it had just barely clipped his vocal folds? That two of his vertebrae had been fractured, but his spinal cord remained undamaged? Was it lucky or unlucky that, despite the infection already festering when he arrived at the hospital, all his wounds closed with ease, that he was spared sepsis and gangrene? After everything he’d been through, did God love Corey Cunningham or hate him?

“A warrant?” Grillo responds, sounding annoyed.

“Yes, sir. I can’t confirm or deny if someone is a patient without a warrant, it’s a breach of privacy.”

“Can you get me someone who’s in charge around here?” He slaps his badge against the counter impatiently.

“Sure I can, sir. But we’re really short staffed right now, so it would probably be hours before they would have time to speak to you. We’re busy saving lives.” Instead of ruining them, she wants to add.

“Fine. A warrant.” Grillo says tersely. He smacks his badge on the counter one more time before turning away and heading towards the elevator.

As soon as she hears the doors slide closed, Nancy pulls up Corey’s chart. She scans it quickly, trying to figure out how close to discharge ready she can get him, tonight. She can’t let the boy from the interrogation video go through that again. It would really be best for him to stay in the hospital for at least another week, but that is not a luxury he has. Corey Cunningham deserves a break, even if just a small one, and Nancy can give it to him if she acts right now.

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Corey looks at the ceiling, noticing a cluster of dead bugs inside the light over his bed. I wish I was like them, he thinks. Dead. Turned to paper by time. Forgotten and inconsequential. A fitting end for a short, stupid life.

There’s a small knock on his door, followed by the creak of hinges. Corey attempts to move his head to look, but mostly fails. In the very edge of his vision he sees Nurse Nancy entering. Her arms are full with some kind of bundle.

“How are we doing?” She asks. Corey can’t be bothered to respond. “I’m gonna sit you up, okay? I have something important to talk to you about.”

The bed rumbles to life and folds Corey at the waist until he’s the most vertical he’s been in weeks. “What is it?” His hoarse whisper less jarring to him every time he speaks, getting used to the way he sounds now.

“A cop came by just now, looking for you.” Nancy says gravely. Corey tenses up at this information and it sends pain radiating through him. He winces and Nancy looks at him with pity. “I know who you are. I know about the manslaughter case. They didn’t have a warrant so I couldn't tell them if you were a patient or not. They’re going to be back soon.” She puts her bundle down and stands with her hands on her hips.

“I have a plan,” she continues, “to get you out of here before they come back. You’re not ready to be discharged yet, but I think you have better odds out there on your own than inside a jail cell. It’s up to you if you want to stay or go.”

“What’s the plan?” He wheezes. He’d do anything in the world to avoid going to prison. He remembers the time he spent in jail after the accident with Jeremy, viscerally. No way he would ever do that again. He’s confident that now he could handle the guards and the other inmates much more effectively. But he had spent his whole life in a cage, under surveillance, suffocating. First Momma, then all of Haddonfield. Fuck that. He would rather die than spend another moment on lockdown, in a very literal way. The only thing worse than being alive would be prison.

“You’re going to ask me to discharge you against medical advice. I’m going to beg you to stay for just a couple more days, a couple more hours even, until the doctor can come look you over at least. You’re going to refuse.” She starts to unravel the bundle she brought with her.

“You were so insistent that I had to let you go. So I printed your chart and some care instructions…” She waves some papers around, “and brought you some warm clothes from the lost and found, since what you were wearing at admittance was destroyed.” One by one she holds up a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a sweater, and a parka. “I just guessed your size.”

Corey listens carefully, amazed and confused at the lengths the nurse is willing to go to to help him. She knows about Jeremy but she must not know about everyone else. She would stick her neck out for a kid who caught a tough break, but certainly not for an honest to god, cold blooded killer.

“When I asked how you were getting home, if you had anyone to look after you, you refused to tell me. I did everything I could to keep you here, and everything I could to discharge you safely when you wouldn’t stay. What do you think of that?”

“I think you better discharge me, right now. I’m ready to go the fuck home, and I’m not waiting for the doctor.” He tries to muster an insistent tone.

“That’s what I hoped to hear,” Nancy says with a smile. “I’ll be right back to remove your IV and all that.” She practically runs to the door.

Corey sits uncomfortably in the truck stop diner booth, chewing a piece of leathery bacon. It takes great effort to sit up straight, his muscles weakened so much by his hospital stay. If he can catch a ride with one of the truckers in the parking lot, hopefully they’ll let him lay in their bunk. And maybe they’ll have drugs, he thinks, the last of the painkillers from the hospital leaving his system. He doesn’t know where he’s going, or what he’ll do when he gets there. He just knows he needs to get the fuck out of Illinois as quickly as possible.

Nurse Nancy had unhooked all the wires and pulled out all the tubes that helped Corey stay alive, then got him dressed. She brought him his work boots and his father’s ring, the only two things that hadn’t been cut off by medical personnel on Halloween. The only two things in the world left from his old life. Someone had already scrubbed the blood out of the crevices in the ring, destroying the evidence that Corey was not merely the victim of another tragic Halloween in Haddonfield. Then Nancy ordered him an Uber and gave him all the cash in her wallet. A total of $78.

He swallows the last sip of his chocolate milk, sludgy with undissolved syrup, then slides awkwardly out of the booth. He doesn’t leave a tip. He only has $65 left after the food itself. He stumbles on unfamiliar legs through the diner, past the coin operated showers, and outside. He scans every face he sees, looking for someone who feels right. Friendly, or else easy to intimidate. He spots a gangly young man who looks about his age, maybe younger, hopping down from the cab of his truck. Corey doesn’t know much about fashion, but he thinks this guy looks punk or something. Like the dudes in high school whose girlfriends all dyed their hair purple, who he had always wanted to be friends with.

“Hey man,” Corey says to him, trying to sound casual. “Can I catch a ride with you?”

“Where are you trying to go?” The punk driver asks.

“Wherever you’re willing to take me.” Corey tries to shrug but it hurts too much.

The driver agrees to give him a ride. He says his name is Evan. Corey doesn’t offer a name. Evan tells him they’re hauling a load of cheese from Wisconsin southward to Georgia. Corey has to get out before Evan makes the cheese drop though, because he’s not supposed to have anyone else in the truck with him.

Evan turns the volume on his cacophonous music down to talk. From his friendly chatter Corey deduces it’s sometime during the week between Christmas and New year. Holy shit, he was in the hospital a long time. In October he’d hoped he could kiss Allyson at midnight on New Year’s. He’d never done anything to celebrate, and they would be in a new town, starting their new lives together. Now Corey would be alone for the holiday. Starting a new life by himself, while he can only assume Allyson’s life is over. He looks out the window so Evan won’t see his grief.

As they barrel south, they pass through miles and miles of empty fields, waiting, dormant. The flatness of the plains gives way to hills and then mountains. The elevation changes make Corey’s ears pop, and the tight curves in the road jostle him from side to side. He doesn’t ask Evan if he can sleep in the bunk, or if he has any drugs, and Evan doesn’t offer. Not long after they exit the mountains, they enter the tangled web of Atlanta, the highways and interstates knotting around each other, ensnaring cars like thousands of insects. Then they emerge into central Georgia, and Corey sees the south as it’s represented in cartoons, tiny little nothing towns separated for miles by woods and family farms.

Evan pilots the truck through endless decrepit historical downtowns with mostly empty storefronts. These places aren’t dissimilar to Haddonfield, slowly becoming more abandoned and rotten in the wake of Michael’s rampages. The familiarity is bittersweet. Corey wonders if these towns have their own boogeyman legends. He wonders if their boogeymen are real. A hard, dark part of him hopes they are. That these towns have all felt the wrath of the monsters they personally created.

They come to a truck stop on the edge of a city. Even from here, just barely within the limits, Corey can tell it’s the biggest town they’ve seen in hours. Evan informs him that his destination is nearby, so this is where they must part. Corey thanks him for his kindness then slips out of the truck.

Late December in south Georgia is much warmer than in Illinois, and Corey starts sweating in his parka immediately. But he keeps it zipped, with the hood up, to obscure himself as much as possible. He shambles across a parking lot to a motel that looks like it was frozen in time 60 years ago. He spends all of his remaining money on a room for the night. The towels are scratchy, the bed frame is creaky, and there’s a mysterious stain on the carpet in the corner of his room. None of it matters. He peels off his parka and falls straight to sleep.

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A few days after Corey’s escape, Nancy is once again seated alone at the nurse’s station when the cop comes in. This time he slams a warrant down on the counter.

“Corey Cunningham,” is all the asshole says. Nancy takes the warrant from him and makes a big show of reading it. Grillo’s face starts to turn red.

“Checked himself out against medical advice,” Nancy says, biting back a smile.

“Where the fuck did he go!” Grillo demands, half shouting.

“I need you to keep your voice down, deputy. This is a hospital. Patients don’t usually make a habit of telling me their plans after they leave, especially those who are adamant about leaving before their treatment is complete. I can give you his chart, but your guess about where he is is certainly better than mine.”

Nancy prepares the information requested in the warrant, feeling victorious. She smiles the rest of the day. Good luck, Corey Cunningham. She tries to think loud enough for him to hear her, wherever he is.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

When Grillo gets back from his second trip to the hospital, Ross can see all over his face that the news is bad. Fuck, is all he thinks.

“He was there. I got his chart,” Grillo tells him

“That’s what we wanted?” Joe Ross says, confused.

“He was there. Past tense. He fucking checked himself out against medical advice! He’s in the fucking wind!” Grillo roars.

“Well, put out a fucking APB then!” Ross yells back. But he knows before he finishes his sentence that an APB won’t be happening. Nothing else will be happening, because here comes the Sheriff, striding towards his desk with a stern look on his face. And just like that, Doug Mulaney’s disappearance and the murders of Tanner Mathis and Deborah Jennings go cold.

#corey cunningham #corey cunningham x reader #halloween ends #fan fiction #mine #fan fic #writing #cc

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obscure-song-tournament · 1 year

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Obscure Song Tournament Masterpost - Round One!

Bracket images + list below the cut. (Long post)

Extremely apologies for that fucked up formatting, it was the easiest way for me to set it up & now I don’t feel like redoing it <3

BRACKETS

Matches will be updated with links when the posts go up :-) (links removed when votes finished. Link link whyyyyy </3)

虚に産まれた毒蟲達の選択 - Haint VS. Keep Away - Insane Driver

Manchester - Lana Wild VS. Pulp Friction - Fool Heavy

Scatterbrain - Casual Tees VS. Dopamine - The Fundementals

Angelic 2 the Core - Corey Feldman VS. Sad Hit Song - V is for Villains

Cosmos - Jawbreaker Reunion VS. Patches - Jawbreaker Reunion

John Congleton & The Nighty Nites VS. Away From You - Nicole

New Dance - DEERPEOPLE VS. Not My Good Side - Deafpony

Maple Leaf Etc. - Maxshh VS. Give Me a Moment - 2far2jump

Goodbye Goodnight - Eudora June VS. Mama - Eudora June

The Helper - Giannah Noelle VS. The Hummingbird - Miss E

Worm Song - Sunny Side Down VS. Victim of a Siren - Seraph Siege

There’s a Darkness (but There’s also a Light) - The Wild VS. Ray - Dylans TIE

Alive - GON VS. Red - Oh Dorian

You are Loved - David Lamotte VS. Getting Around to it(Maybe) - Ollie Oxyn

Timed Out - blockkids VS. Where U Goin? - Half In the Bag

All That I Am - Maia Grandy VS. For Me - Dearlie

The Hidden Word - Noe Venable VS. Echo in the Hills - Carrie Elkin TIE

Hold Onto Myself - Yendawg VS. YOUR GALAXY - ROZLYN PELL

critter song - tidepooler VS. Juliet and Juliet - Kactus Kid

Low Rent Truman Show - Marc with a C VS. Body Heat - Guard Petal

Pub Money - Bag of Cans VS. Take a Peek - Heat Above

Daddy Daedalus watched me GO DOWN IN FLAMES! - lonely carp VS. The Danger - Patricia Wallinga(twt: @ pwallinga)

Call Me Captain - Emrys Layne (tumblr: @ callmecapt) VS. Insecurity Impermanence - Ian Woodside

Deep Blue - Grapefruit VS. You’re So Hot To Me - Commuted

Fly Octo Fly Piano Arrangement - Original - ButterShutter VS. PIANO GAMES - Hazma Notes

Devil’s Game - Lonovve VS. Worst in the World - Uncle Outrage

Cheese (Original Mix) - Cheese VS. The Best Poop of Your Life - Squatty Potty

Сопряжение сфер - Ясвена VS. Hokutoshichisei no Ichiya - Akiko Ikuina

Pink Clouds - Sammy J VS. There Will be Someone at My Funeral Who Doesn’t Want to be There - Sammy J

The Crayon Song - Class of 3000 VS. Eco - Jim Valley

Kinky Murder Machine - Slav the Dog VS. TECVM CIRCVMAMBVLARE NOLO - John Linnel

Imagination - Niel Innes VS. Me & Nikolai - Pale Young Gentlemen TIE

Checking My Pulse - Alix Olsen VS. Eat Your Heart Out, Sigmund Freud - Mollie Maxwell

Pink Lemonade - Kristi Krause VS. Don’t Want You - Carpark

Home(Here) - Big Tree VS. Runaways - Big Tree

Przyszłam do miasta - Ballady I Romanse VS. 10,000 Days - OK Glass

Cross My Heart - Richard Myhill VS. Hurricane - My Cat Umi

Bitches (Do as Bitches Are) - Brain’s All Gone VS. Rotten - Missouri Surf Club

Born To It - Freefonix VS. No Place Like Home - Freefonix

8:15 - 3:30 VS. last week/month/year - rain

Pointillize - Raccoon Fink VS. Tokyo Koya - Van

execute - ninty VS. Bloodlust - ninty

Better Red than Dead - KELChip VS. Bloodbird - KELChip

EGO - Powderpaint VS. Tax Evasion Scheme Artist - Golden Line

.. - subeteanatanoseidesu VS. Fictional Girl - cindersnow

Nighttime (I fall asleep) - SamX VS. No Time at All - MORE

GOTH BITCH DUB - 621 gecs VS. BORKYCORE - ida deerz (ft. kaj strife)

To.Get.Her - Nixis VS. Hyper Arcade - Glass Daydreams

Dusk and Dawn - Das Fi VS. Full of Light - Le Professeur

Between You and Me - Clementine Werchola VS. Digital Love - SilverTunes

I Wish Was Dead - Cherry and the Other People VS. Monmon_Fanmoran - Mochitsune

Splitter Girl - Weevildoing VS. Can Graze the Roof bring you back to childhood? - Anomaly Vector

Moongrains - Anomaly Vector (ft Gumi Ai) VS. Memories - Jens East (Ft Lotta Rasva) TIE

Black Plate - Profilgate VS. Ode to Janey Lou - FOE

It’s Murder - Skeleton Staff VS. The Dreaming - Marquis of Vaudeville

Best Friend - Taitoki VS. Chakra - Marnage

Rusalka and The Shepherd Girl - The Forgetmenauts VS. Minesweepers - Peter Bellamy

Four Tall Trees - Leslie Fish VS. Carmen Miranda’s Ghost - Leslie Fish

Butterfly/Drowsy Maggie - Double Indemnity VS. Captain Ward - Tempest

The Finchley Waltz - Robin Grey VS. The Trials Of Oscar Wilde - Alan John

Blood and Passion - Alexander James Adam VS. Winter’s Tooth - Alexander James Adam

He of Sidhe - Alexander James Adam VS. Curiosity - JTSteam

they say you see the sparrow fall - pabrizzer VS. Labyrinth - Madeline S

Star Fire - Julia Ecklar and Cynthia McQuillin VS. The Phoenix - Julia Ecklar

Liar and the Hound - Beneath Eden VS. Song For Sandy - Thirsty Moon

Snake in the Grass - Couch Slut VS. Bodysuit - FlooringCo

On a Walk - Fort Womb VS. Pause Button - Particle Devotion TIE

Death is a Girl - Skippocalyptic VS. Sea ll - Momoi ALLU

52 Pickup - Z. VS. Are You Underwater - The Gerbils

山谷澗 - Mysterain小雨樂隊 VS. Lately - Strip the Image

613 - FC the Kid VS. Never Be Famous - Hussalonia TIE

Too Hot - Jay Safari VS. Lhasa -Shapaley

We Made it - JAMIEvx VS. Collide - Harold J TIE

412 (coffin built for two) - Mollie Maxwell VS. Vampire Bop - Feel Spectres

No Bird Sing - Plastic Lines VS. Unretractable Fact - Second Person

SCARY* - EXIT ONLY VS. THREATS - ILLFIGHTYOU

Real Woman - comfort VS. Preserve - PETROLEUM! GENDERLOSS

See You in The Pit - Rotten Youth VS. No Proposals - Physical Plant

Rebels - Old Death Whisper VS. Maneater - Blue Eved Blondes

Candy - Joe Mama VS. la somnambule - La Femme Pendu & Damien Done

Center Stage - Howard Martin VS. Lethal Temptress - The Mendoza Line (COVER)

Gears of the Atom Man - Angels of Liberty VS. Inhuman Liberty - Dr. Arthur Krause

Wake Up Girl - Skeeter Truck VS. Pennies in my Pocket - Stamen and Pistols

Flower Gurl - Ronen VS. Dark Rip - Teen Girl Scientist Monthly

Heart of the TARDIS - Time Crash VS. Trust Me - Time Crash

The Machine - Asta Wylie VS. Not Yet - Leo and the Little Things

Grace - Raelle VS. Transfixed - Joss Smith, NUYD

Animal - Xisco Feijoó VS. No Me Lames - Natalia Cassis

Hyperphantasia - Fearful Earful VS. We Who Are About To Live - Le Professeur

Tonight Eternity Alone - Rene Claus VS. HEAD OF HOLOFERNES - lonely carp

Milá má - Nahore VS. Cardigan Sweater - Jasmine Kennedy TIE

Side B - Alohaha VS. Side A - Alohaha

The Binding Of Isaac - Schmekel VS. the man who wasn't there - A Fictitious Band

Let It Go - The Murder of Crows VS. Slip! - Bright Orange

Boy who Blocked the Sun - Demi the Daredevil VS. Rainy Day Georgia - Jayne Trimble TIE

Burn it Down with Math - Deuce of Gears VS. Camouflage - Ed's Redeeming Qualities

Reach - Rachel West VS. Haircut Song - Shannon Moser

BurnerPhone - Dirty Heathen (ft. Bittersweet Evergreen) VS. Reunion - Brent Spiner & Maude Maggart

Deadname Birthday - The Timewasters VS. Small Parts of Something Much Larger - Suns

STILL FEEL IT - caseJackal VS. Sunshine and Lollipops 2020 - Sad Snack

Smooth Operator - Supernothing VS. Say What You Want - Growth Spurt

Бетонные блоки - Truckdrivers VS. Mirèmèngies - Edona Vatoc

Have You Ever Seen a Duck, Like, in Real Life? - lisa the beauty queen VS. Zip Ties and SSRIs-Dinosawh

Housekeeper- Faun Fables VS. Kill the King - Rabbit Rabbit Radio

Caroline - Espers VS. Mega Mouse - Putrid Shark

Whiskey and Water - Parader VS. Tales of the Phantom Ship - Nathan

Raising the Dead! - Jessica Law VS. Lotus Eaters - Jessica Law TIE

Autism Murder Memorial- Fit to Work VS. All Cats are Beautful - Fit to Work

Moon - Feel Spectres VS. Blow Up the Moon - Feel Spectres

All For Me Grog! - Spud Bugs VS. A Place We Could Call Home (Turncoat Collective) - Spud Bugs

Reclaim - Porch Cat VS. Perspectives - The Cast Before the Break

Orpheus on Ice - The Small Calamities VS. Violin Concerto in the Key of Crippling Regret - The Small Calamities TIE

Paint By Numbers - From Fragile Seeds VS. Homme Offer Knee - Ben Below

Tomb Song - Nora Keyes VS. Hold My Heart - The Dune Sea

Each Time She Calls - Jessie Goslin VS. Daisies - Heather and Hay

A Catalyst - Blood Crying Twinks VS. flexible guy - clown residue

Howard - Demo - Mother Aiden VS. going thru it - teamonade

Blooming Strangely - Ginger & Pear VS. Pressed - Ginger & Pear

Alright! Heartcatch Precure! - Aya Ikeda VS. 恐竜あげみざわ★ - Kyouruu Friends

星の旅人 - Sayaka Senbongi & Yumiri Hanamori VS. Gyokuza no GEMINI - Eclipse

The End of the World - Fred Deakin VS. Weekend Anarchist - MEMODEMO

運命は “I" Love You - チームDEKAI VS. Endure Emptiness - Kain Vinosec

Heritage of Sampled Electronic World - KR. Palto47 VS. Ultimate Performance of Abandoned Magic Boxes ~Rack of Junks - KR. Palto47

Liminal Spaces - Logan Fredricks VS. 薔薇は美しく散る × 輪舞-revolution - okurigi66

297回の試行 - Image44 VS. 川のそばで - Image44

DiViNE - EXiNA VS. We'll make a monster of you - Freefonix

#not polls #poll related #obscure song tournament #long post

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boxwinebaddie · 9 months

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Uncle Nina Peppermint, I am sorry tumblr 'Got' you. But I was reading through your HCs and it got me thinking about when you talked about when Style is finally dating and Stan getting StanBanned for flirting with Kyle while he's studying...Do you have an example? Eyes Emoji...It can be spicy...

ohhhhh my god. thank you for your condolences, i'm crying! you know what i was in jail so i also put stan in jail lmaoooooo. which brings me to...yes absolutely. i doooooo have an example. this ask was so iconic i, like, kind of started to write a one shot about it, but then i got lazy and remembered i have to answer my comments and start writing thirteen, so you can have like four paragraphs of fleshed out writing and like a million skeleton lines of dialogue. it's not that spicy like literally pep!stan and kyle are in the trenches of horny jail for their indecent thoughts in every chapter like every four lines so it's like not worse than that but it's under a read more anyways.

also honestly...bless you. i was like man i hate when the boys are miserable and dying this sucks so bad, so anytime i can write them being happy and in love is like...so peaceful. stan tho...is really annoying. i would also stan ban that bitch! banished to the shadHOE realm! but here is this, it's something and nothing, i hope you laugh.

“Stan, I’m TRYING to study!”

Kyle complained as he strained his eyes trying to still the words printed across the pages of the math textbook he was holding up to his face which were now jumping all over the place due to his super best boyfriend using the bottom of said math textbook as a school-supplied skate park for Kyle’s eraser...

...Which he was using as a Tech Deck.

“Well, you’re not doing a very good job.” Stan shot back after doing a sick synthetic rubber kickflip that was so obnoxious it caused page 159 to turn involuntarily, aggravating Kyle to no end.

“And just whose fault is that, exactly?” Kyle interrogated hotly, narrowing his emerald eyes at Stan, whose lovely, very distractingly perfect head was in his lap and was feigning total innocence like Kyle had raised an absolutely ridiculous accusation against him.

He gasped and clasped a hand over his chest, totally aghast.

Kyle groaned.

“I’m sooooo helpful! Like if you drop your big, dumb, heavy nerd boy textbook, I’ll break its fall with my face and it won’t hurt your lap at all! I’m holding your e r a s e r! And—ANNNND!”

Stan had started to protest as he ducked under the arm of the annoyed boy, pulling himself into a sitting position before leaning up towards Kyle’s cheek and blowing a warm, minty jet of air at it, which left an guilty, culpable line of blush where Stan’s breath had kissed his skin.

“You had an eyelash.” He stated with far too much pride and excitement before his brow furrowed at a sudden realization. “Wait. FUCK. You didn’t make a wish.”

Stan nudged Kyle with his elbow urgently, like it was of the utmost importance he did so.

“Hurry up! Go make your wish, dummy!” He pestered and persisted.

“I wish you would stop annoying me while I am studying.” Kyle deadpanned.

Which was fine because Stan’s voice bore all the animation and energy needed to carry the both of them as he stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend, mocking him childishly.

Note: It’s all fun and games falling madly in love with your best friend, the boy next door, and seemingly most flawless person on Earth until you realize that in doing so you were blind to a very incriminating and important piece of evidence…

That being that he’s extremely fucking annoying.

Yes, unfortunately, Stanley Marsh was a living, breathing testament to the fact that a person’s physical beauty, does not counteract how absolutely annoying they can be. Actually, Kyle Broflovski had no scientific evidence to back up this claim, but having dated his best friend for two months, he was certain that somehow the more absolutely radiant you were, the more irritating you were. Because Stanley Marsh was very, very radiant and very, very, very irritating.

“Haha! You’re supposed to make your wish silently! If you say it out loud it won’t come true!”

“You didn’t—“

Kyle started to argue before biting his tongue and swallowing back an argument that he literally did not have time to be having right now as he painstakingly slid his glasses down the bridge of his nose and aggressively scrubbed the circular lenses of the unsightly, practically prehistoric looking things, now all fogged up by the bewitching, breathtaking peppermint breeze that had escaped between said radiant, irritating boy’s lips

…which he was trying very hard not to think about.

That was very difficult to do, of course, when the side of your face was being poked violently a million times by a badly painted, black Hot Topic polished index finger and your name was being called over and over again with the firing rate of a machine gun that sounded something like:

“Ky! Kyle! Kyle! KylekylekyleKYLEKYLEKYL—“

His head whipped around like he was swinging a battle-axe.

“W H A T !?”

Stan placed his head on the slope of Kyle’s shoulder and looked up at him through his eyelashes, which were very long and darkened with the smoky residues of emo boy eyeliner. Kyle held his breath, attempting aloof detachment, as Stan bat the alluring, accursed things at him several times and, as if the unsheathing of Kyle’s one true Kryptonite was not evil enough, Stan also pouted at him.

Fucking hell.

“I’m bored. Pay attention to me.” Which he tried unsuccessfully to steal as he lurched forward with his lips pursed hoping to connect with some cherry-flavored chapstick only for Kyle to jerk his head away at the last second with his eyes wide, using his textbook as an Anti-Sexy, Spearmint Stan Marsh shield.

“I’M STUDYING!” Kyle shouted, but it was more like a squeak as he attempted ( also unsuccessfully ) to shoo Stan away who had dramatically exclaimed,

“I’M STUD-D Y I N G!”

After throwing a tanned, ringed Stan-Hand over his eyes like the world was so cruel and horrible. “I cannot beeeeelieve you would rather learn about Progagility than makeout!”

“It’s probability. But…that was a really good guess. The b’s do look g’s, just flipped. I’m proud of you. That was a tough one.”

He reassured with rare softness as he placed a tiny kiss on Stan’s nose. To which, Stan beamed at him, totally besotted. He earned it.

“It measures the likelihood of a certain event to occur.”

“And what is the likelihood of you putting that textbook down and sticking your tongue down my throat instead?”

“Highly unlikely. Actually less likely because you said it like that. Ew.”

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that."

"What do you mea--"

“Kairu~”

“Mmm. Hey. HEY. No. NO. Stan, absolutely NO Japanese.”

“K i s u s h i t e ?”

“Okay, fuck you! Listen…I really…I REALLY didn’t want to do this, but…”

“Stanley Randall William Marsh…”

“Ew, Ky, don’t Government Name me in that voice…”

“Due to the, however, very attractive, but damning body of evidence levied against you…By the power vested in me…”

"Waitwaitwait! Pleeeeease don—“

“I’m sentencing you to Super Best Boyfriend Jail.”

“NO WAY! AGAIN?! On what GROUNDS, Counsellor Broflovski?”

“Sexual Harassment.” “And Theft.” “That’s my favorite sweater, Klepto.”

“Hmm. I think I could get those charges dropped.” “Drop your pa--”

“ATTEMPTED SOLICITATION OF PROSTITUTION.”

“Woooooooow! I’m a prostitute!? Okay, just because I’m not a ~Prospective Prosecutor~…does not mean I’m not a professional. I’m Very Professional!…A….uh…PUNDIT, even!”

“Stan, while it is very sexy when you use your SAT words correctly…Motion denied.”

Stan made a very obscene hand gesture to Kyle’s visible distress. “ALL KINDS.”

“Ugggggggh. This is so whack, K.P! You know I hate SBF Jail! You have to wear your own clothes, no one lets you be the little spoon and everyone is so nice to you! It’s awful! No one makes fun of your hair. No one wants to kill you. No one gets mad at you for biting them all the time or staring at their ass too much in public. I hate it here!

Bail me out?”

“N o p e.” “And don’t worry, I still want to kill you.”

“And do you threaten the violent murders of all the boys who you have secret, deep seated, pent up sexual frustration towards or am I extra special?”

“Stan…”

“...Kyle?”

“Bro…”

“...Babe?”

“Go home.”

“Woooooooow. It’s because you hate me, huh?”

“Oh my god. Stan, will you PLEASE jus--”

“No, no! It’s okay! I get it! I’m just h e a r t b r o k e n. Why would you date me if you hate me so much?! Huh, Kyle! Pretty cruel, dont’cha, think? Sigh. That’s alright. I guess I’ll go lie in the street…where I belong, you know…With the other H O O K E R S! Attempting to solicit prostitution for one measly very cherry chapstick kiss! From my super mean, super WORST boyfriend who would rather do stupid MATH than m--”

“Don’t drown in a river of your own tears, Ophelia.” “That does NOT mean O-feel-me-up, Harlot! Ugh! You’re unbelievable.”

“But…If…” “IF you can wait here q u i e t l y while I finish taking my notes. The probability of making out will drastically increase…And I will consider…”

“Consider letting you out of Super Best Boyfriend Jail…on good behavior. Can you do that?”

“I can do that.”

“Okay, I’m holding you to it.”

“Now, before I change my mind…”

“Sit on my lap and hold my e r a s e r.”

Narrator VC: Kyle did not finish taking his notes.

#UNCLE NINA PEPPERMINT IS SO REAL IM CHANGING MY LEGAL NAME #something abt kyle spending like 12 years being like wow stan is so perfect pls date me #and then it happens and hes like wait nevermind what the fuck HES SO ANNOYING #is so deeply funny to me like ur honor they are in love also theyre so cute i love them #kyle: im going to kill u // stan: ooooooh u wanna kiss me so bad #smh #embarrassing #he does wanna kiss him so bad hes such a liar omg #maybe one day ill finish it hsalkdhad #also oh my god stan is so unserious like oh my gooooood tw for dramatic ass bisexual boy energy like relax #they cast stan as lead in the school musical bc of this behavior

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