#ugh tumblr app why

[acdeaky]

the day before tomorrow

warning: fluff, a little bit of angst (only a sprinkling), mention of nudity (but it’s tasteful) (and it’s javier so not that surprising)

note: (what was meant to) a little blurb for javier pena, my beloved <3 also follow @acdeaky-library​ and turn on post notifications for any published work :) 

word count: 1.0k 

translations: mi amor - my love; cariño - dear/sweetheart; te prometo - i promise; querida - darling; hermosa - beautiful

you always hate it when he leaves; whether it’s for work, shopping or even grabbing another pack of cigarettes from the living room, you hate it.

this time was different. the pair of you went to bed the night before knowing that in the morning he would be gone for longer. albeit he’ll be gone only a night longer than usual, but you know as well as he does that this is something that needed to be done.

javier came home one day last week, case file in hand and tie wrapped up in the other. he gave a grumbled expression that you made out to be a greeting before traipsing through the apartment and falling, quite ungracefully, onto the sofa. you grabbed the glass of whiskey that had even eagerly awaiting his return and sat down beside him, curling your legs underneath you while leaning into his side slightly.

“what's the problem, mi amor?” you questioned gently, placing the glass into his outreached empty hand. it took him a moment to answer, so you brought your chin down to rest on his shoulder, pressing a featherlight kiss onto his stubbled cheek.

“i have go away for a day, just to see if the intel we got today’s got any weight behind it.” as javier said that, he could practically feel your body stiffen. “it’s only for one night, cariño. i’ll be right back with you the next day.”

javier placed his glass of whiskey on the table in front of him, shifting his body to face yours as he placed a gentle hand under your chin and lifted your head up slightly. “only one day. nothing’s going to happen to me, te prometo.”

“are feistl and van ness going with you?” you asked, watching his eyes, a hand moving to hold onto his wrist.

“yes, querida, the three of are going and looking after each other.” he promised again. you nodded your head, tightening your grip around his wrist slightly before bringing your other hand up to cup his cheek.

“i think they'll be looking after you more than you them.” your comment made javier chuckle, his head tilting and leaning further into your touch as you giggle at him. “come on, let’s get you cleaned up. i've made arepas for dinner.” you heard a satisfied groan come from javier as you stood up, grabbing both of his hands to pull him up after you before helping him to shed his blazer.

both of you made the short distance to the kitchen, holding hands and tripping over the other’s feet as you giggled softly to each other.

the week went by as normal; both of you getting up for work, laughing and teasing one another almost making you late. you would always get home before him, starting on dinner and waiting for him to walk through the front door, glass of whiskey and a bright smile on your face.

as the day got closer, case files would fly in and out of the door. javier spent many hours of the evening hunched over the coffee table reading and re-reading the same sentences and reports over and over again. you always sat by his side, reading your own book - either in english or spanish - waiting for frustrated sighs to leave his mouth. you'd help to smooth out the creases in his forehead, pressing light kisses all over his face before he decided it was time to get back to work.

and soon the morning he had to leave came. the sun had barely risen above the horizon, but the air was still warm from the hot day the day before. you felt the bed rise slightly after javier got up from it, the thin sheets falling away from his bare body.

he mooched around, pulling clothes from hangers and drawers before heading into the bathroom to get ready, not bothering to close the door in the hopes of catching a few glances at your figure on the bed. little did he know that you were doing the same; never had you been more grateful for him not closing that door.

you watched as he gave himself a once over in the mirror, adjusting his soft blue shirt that he knew you adored before exiting towards you. javier knelt down by your side of the bed, bringing a hand up to brush the delicate skin of your cheek. his fingers followed the outline of your face, bringing them up to touch your lips making you giggle.

“there's my hermosa,” he smiled softly, pressing a delicate kiss onto your chin. “i'll be back before you know it, querida.” he reminded you, not making you feel any more assured than the other times he promised you.

“you better come back to me, javi. i don't know what i’d do without you.” you confessed, opening your eyes to meet his beautiful brown ones. all you saw in them was love and adoration, as well as a tiny idea growing.

“give me your hand,” he asked, so politely with a little smile it would have been rude to not listen to him. “to remind you that i'm okay, and that i’ll always come back to you.” with that, he brought your enclosed hands up to his chest, pressing your palm flat against his shirt. you only looked at him with confusion, before feeling the steady thumps of his heart.

the only thing you could think to do was smile at a him, closing your fingers around the material of his shirt above his heart. you used this to pull him towards you, catching his lips with yours as his hand cupped your cheek. his thumb brushed your skin, a reminder to yourself and him that he was still here and he would make it back to you.

javier was the first to pull back, a smile gracing his lips as his eyes darted over your face one last time. “i'll see you tomorrow, mi amor.”

“i'll see you tomorrow, javi.”

- 

taglist:  @shes-over-bored @i-barely-go-on-online @sohoneyspreadyourwings @brian-maybe-not @deakysbabybooty @1001-yellow-daffodils @retromusicsalad @hardcoredisneynerd @painkiller80 @goldhoran @scarecrowmax @mebeatlized @seesiderendezvous @alright-mrfahrenheit @someone-get-a-medic @miamideacon @chlobo6 @teenagepeterpan @spacedustmazzello @deakysgurl @forever-rogue @xcdelilahxc @keepsdrawings @igotsuckedintothevoid @kill4hqueen @supersonicfreddie @laedymoon @inthedayswhenlandswerefew @warriorteam1924 @painandpleasure86 @boomerangbassist @mamaskillerqueen @bhxrdy

pedro tags: @goldhoran​ @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @marvgrrl​ @wander-lustbabe​

javier tags: @chaotic-noceur​ @opheliaelysia​

#the pain i went through to edit this goddamn post #tumblr pls #why is the app dodgy ??? #just let us have something ugh #anyway #hi #im alive #here's javier my beloved #<3 #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #javier pena #javier pena x reader #narcos #netflix #x reader #acdeaky

[aesrot]

Good morning beloved!!

giggles good morning!!!!! :D

#how doing? :3 #ugh i downloaded the tumblr app again bc laptop is acting up and. yeah. i remember why i don't like it lol #i will survive. trying out the goth rave layout this time and its making me wanna redo my entire blog lmao #lua answers #luna my beloved

[hyaciiintho]

🌸｡*ﾟ+. ADHD as a roleplayer and ✨ creative ✨ person is just having 3 different drafts open at the same time, all varying in progression length, 2 other windows open (youtube and a reference), and a slew of stray papers scattered on the desk you intended to use for doodles but are still blank, and still coming up with new things to do even though you haven't done the first few things you started.

You finished 2 replies like 2 and a half hours ago and have posted nothing else.

#MUN SPEAKING 🌸 ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ᴾᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ #And the IMs... don't get me started on the IMs... thankfully tumblr won't notify me of them so I can't suddenly LEAP into them #I have to actually check my activity and open the window to see if there's a new notif. Otherwise I'd have even LESS done LOL #This is why I have to close all IM apps when I'm on at any given moment or I'm just. #Not getting anything done. I hate that the hotel plays music with lyrics because my eyes just glaze over #and my attention starts picking up on the lyrics and I'm like 'Please I want silence I can't focus' #My focus lasts for an hour and then it's GONE c: #But UGH okay I just finished making coffee for the hotel guests so... lemme try and... FOCUS!!!!! #I'm about to start being interrupted by early workers ringing the door to come in and early guests checking out #but imma TRY!!!! MY HARDEST!!!! TO GET AT LEAST TWO MORE THINGS OUT!!!!! #Life is hard man hdfksjhdf functioning is hard

[l48yr1nth]

tick tock why do you give me muck bangs i have literally never expressed interest in them. in fact. i have actively been expressing DISTASTE and HATRED toward them for YEARS. IM SO FUCKING PISSED I DONT WANT TO SEE PEOPLE EAT ITS FUCKING DISGUSTING HOW THEY SMACK THEIR LIPS DONT EVER SHOW ME THAT STUPID WHITE WOMAN FACE EVER FUCKING AGAIN

#labyposting #IM SO CLOSE TO DELETING THE APP I HATE IT SO MUCH #but ugh. funny videos sometimes! and music #and video games #why do they make an app so good and horrible and awful but ok at the same time #just let me choose what i want to see like tumblr does PLEAAASE

[suashii]

noooo tumblr is hiding stuff in my notifs tab again ☹️

#💭 manon’s mind #why is this app the worst #ugh i’m already missing mentions and rbs #so sowwy if i don’t reply or miss anything #it’s tumblr’s fault hmph

[veilder]

Who th at Tumblr headquarters decided that it was a good idea to replace the search button with freakin Tumblr Live on the mobile app?!?! I keep clicking on it by accident because I’m so used to that being where the Search option is!!!! >:0

Unacceptable, @staff. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

#tumblr dot com #this is so frustrating #the app is barely usable anyway #I guess why not make it worse? #ugh #I hate this >_>

[sothischickshe]

I realllly fucking hate what they've done to the followed tags page on mobile 😭

#😭 #Tumblr #Tbf it might be just as shite on desktop but I wouldnt know 🤷🏼‍♀️ #I could fix her (this app) #At the very least stop fucking refreshing web views any time anyone does anything!!!! #Why do you think ppl wanna be yanked to the top of a page at every gd opportunity??????? #Ugh! #Blast from the drafts #Ig this more abt the manage tags view? #But I wouldnt have to go in there if it still had the horizontal list of them all so.... #Maybe the horizontal swipe wouldn't work on @ndroid cos they've moved the tags you follow thing to be in like a tab with other things now? #A strong argument to not have moved it then.... #Also the filtering thing is rubbish #If you've ever filtered it won't unfiltered :/ #At least not permanently #*unfilter #Jfc autocorrect

[dapper-shipping-forever]

I haven't thought about Atlas in a long ass time but the second I actually did I was flooded with fucking yearning and affection for that tired man

#I put him on my crush list when I made my carrd because like I had barely thought of him in forever #but dang was I into him #ugh he's just like I literally can't explain why I was and am this attracted to him lmao #when his route first was released I was ecstatic #dare I put him back on the f/o list #tbh there are a few people I put on the crush list after returning to self ship tumblr that now I'm like hm do you belong there lmao #I want to replay his route #but l.ovestruck went out of business and they closed the app servers #man there's several routes I want to replay #maybe I can find archives online somewhere

[teleconhaikus]

What does tumblr have that other social media apps don’t have?

-Long form discussion

-Low forced engagement or discovery

-Virtually no or terrible metrics for increasing engagement so the user just finds people they like on their own if they choose it and the application doesn’t make it something you do without wanting it and opting in.

-A high desire to ONLY opt-in, not opt-out secondarily, where new functionality is shoved down the user’s throat.

-A passive stream of content, not an active over saturation of content on a user.

#tumblr wins #i tweeted something and then went ugh.. wtf is the point #why are you telling me I am using too many characters #i have no followers and am not looking for more #i just want my thoughts put down somewhere for myself to look at later #apps are becoming increasingly for the extroverted business man who is very concerned with efficiency #i want an app that feels like a slow walk in the rain or a quiet hushed discussion with a stranger #like a small voice breaking through the noise of people vying for my attention #i want more of the quiet authentic and strange voices to break up the monotony

[gothicvalentine]

I'm so livid right now! I don't normally get this angry but ffs. I'm almost shaking I'm so pissed off.

This is really, really long because I don't do brevity and because background is needed to understand the situation so this is continued under the cut. I'm on mobile though so I really hope it adds a cut. If not, I'll edit my post later when I get on my laptop.

Warning: in addition to being an extremely long post, I mention feeling suicidal so if that might be triggering to anyone, please skip reading this. Thanks!

:read more:

So I don't have water. Haven't for about a year and a half. Because my depression is so bad I'm I haven't been doing self care or housework for years (at least).

Things got so bad I finally decided to file for social security disability in mid March 2021.

We have a local agency here which is a Christian place that ostensibly helps people with things they need. They have a shower for use that I was allowed to use a few times (knowing it's there is great but I still have zero motivation to use it).

With no water, I've been buying gallon jugs of water when I still had some money or with my food stamps. With the price of everything skyrocketing, I've decided spending at least $5 a week on water could be cut to zero or a bit more if they didn't mind if I filled up 2 gallon jugs of water a couple of times a week.

After all, I wasn't using their water to bathe and they'd said another client came in to fill up water jugs so they said I could as well. They were the ones who actually suggested it when they interviewed me last year!

I stopped in last week and they're was only an intern there and she didn't know what to do so she asked someone on the retail side (or whatever--they have an attached thrift shop) since everyone else was in meetings.

I was given the ok and I filled up 2 jugs. I wanted to check this time before I just stopped in, especially since they were so weird about it last time, so I called and they picked up the phone today.

I don't know if this lady was an intern or not but she wanted me to come in for an interview again. I asked if that was an annual thing (because nothing has changed since last year) and she said she didn't think it normally would be, but they're had a lot of staff changes. They'd also like to talk and get to know me "to see if there's anything else they'd be able to help with." Uh huh, sure. You mean you want to try to convert me. 🙄

I was not happy about it and I think this lady could tell but I agreed and I guess their first available is not until next Monday afternoon. Since that's an entire week, I asked if I could at least fill up my water before then and she hemmed and hawed (fuck, I'm really dating myself aren't I?) and essentially said that no, I couldn't.

Her excuse was they they are closed Thursday and Friday and will be very busy the rest of the time and might be in and out of the office. Yeah because filling up a jug of water is going to take 30 minutes. And I'll need to be heavily supervised so I don't rob them blind while I'm filling up the water or something.

I wrote them off last year because I asked for help with some really tall weeds and brush, trees, etc. I don't have the lawn gadgets to take care of this on my own even if I wasn't too depressed to get out of bed to do anything. In addition I have a number of physical issues that make it really hard, if not impossible to do many things. (I think it's probably severe anxiety plus my gastroparesis, but I'm nauseous most days and vomiting some)

The place knew I had no income last year so they didn't ask me to pay them (they said they usually for a contribution) but they asked if I could help them remove the trees and weeds. I told them I would be willing to help if I was able to and felt ok that day. They said they'd need to meet with their volunteers and would get back to me.

Stupid me. I had thought nothing of telling them that I would be losing my home, probably before 2022 since I had no way to continue to pay my mortgage and even if I did, my home requires extensive repairs. Even the city sent a notice saying my roof needed to be repaired. 😳 (they never did that when I lived in Des Moines!)

When they finally called me back, they said they'd talked to their volunteers but the volunteers weren't willing to help me if I wasn't going to be staying in my home. Wtf?!?!

I had told the Christian place that the city had given me a notice that it needed to be done or they'd do it (and it would probably be several hundred minimum for the city to do it, plus you can't just not pay a government agency back--they will legit take your license until it's paid--I checked)

I was so stressed out but luckily I called the city and explained the situation and they haven't taken action against me yet.

I'm still in my home because the mortgage company gave me a forbearance then wrote off the late charges and everything. I was able to make 1 payment (barely) with a little leftover money I had from my LTD policy benefits that ran out in February, but it's ready to go back into foreclosure again next month.

I'm just so, so upset that I have to jump through all these hoops to fill up on a few gallons of water for the week--and because apparently Christians don't care if other people go without water or something. (and before someone @s me: #notallchristians)

Fuck my life.

To make things infinitely worse, I'm a hoarder. With no one to help me. So I don't have motivation to get out of bed or anything, let alone clean and pack . . . a normal house.

My home isn't normal and hasn't been for decades. And my therapist told me I'm stressing her out because I'm having so much trouble doing anything and have no motivation despite knowing if I don't act I'll lose even the stuff I value most.

I had a peer support person who was really nice and said she'd be willing to help, but she quit last week. 😭

I have family who know at least part of my situation but none of them have contacted me in months (and I'm always the one who has to reach out to them).

I stopped reaching out because I know being super depressed and negative is a downer for most (all?) people. Plus, since I'm struggling I don't want people to think that's why I'm reaching out to them.

Of course, I do really need help and it would be great if at least one person in my family was willing to be there for me at this time. (my daughter is helping out some financially where she can, but she's the only one) *fyi I can repay my daughter easily if I get approved for SSDI but if I don't (which I'm terrified will happen--how bad do things have to be? Are my providers even understanding how bad things are? Are they documenting this well?) and I end myself instead, she's the beneficiary of my 75k or so IPERS account.

I'm afraid that my home will foreclose and I won't get my stuff and instead of just giving up on my stuff, that I'll decide I can't go on without my things and try to kill myself again. I don't even think that would be a bad thing.

I'm so tired of constantly suffering. Why do people think it's ok for people to commit suicide if someone is terminally ill, but not for long term severe mental illness? I know mental pain is supposed to be fleeting, that suicidal ideation is supposed to be fleeting. But what if it isn't?

And what if you have a lot of physical pain and mental pain and it's just so unbearable when you feel like no one even cares? If your own family apparently gives zero fucks about you, how in the everloving hell is anyone else supposed to care?!?!?

Sorry for burdening anyone who reads this. I just don't feel like my family cares and my mental health providers are paid to pretend to care and I don't think they really listen or at least understand what I'm trying to tell them. What I keep telling them over and over. I just needed to finally put this out there somewhere.

I was going to post something similar a few months ago, but decided not to because 1) I didn't want to bring anyone down or stress them out and 2) I didn't want to risk a welfare check by the police or something.

I'm not actively suicidal atm (like with a plan and the intent) plus, cops are really bad at de-escalating situations. So bad that suicide by cop has crossed my mind. But I'm white and female so I'm not sure I'd be a sufficient enough threat for that to be a valid option anyway.

#rant #tw suicide #suicidal thoughts #suicidal ideation #suicide #sorry this is so long #i don't even care if anyone reads this but i just need to vent and i feel like the people in my life aren't listening #and don't care #so . . . #not proofread #i legit hope the readmore worked #why does the Tumblr app not just have a read more or below the cut option??? #it's so weird #and in many ways i prefer the mobile app to being on my laptop on Tumblr #tags on mobile seem easier to add from the previous poster on mobile anyway #ugh #i was going to go get water and then try to pack or toss some stuff today anyway #but now i just feel like I'm gonna throw up #and I'm still angry #angry and vomity #yeah not really how i want to feel if I'm going to be standing and bending over a lot #but i also can't keep putting things off or i won't have anything to keep #fuuuuck

[taegularities]

tumblr app will not let me read your latest update of cmi like ??? every time i press read more the app force closes or straight up freezes and im dyin here 😭

i might actually cry :')

#try updating the app..? maybe it'll work then :/ or desktop reading? #ugh idk why the app is being like this #is it working for others? is it going okay? #tumblr doing anything to suppress fics. bro that shit is so discouraging :/ #for those who CAN read/reblog pls do so as long as it works I'd appreciate it a lot bc dumblr why :') #notes for rid 🌹 #anon #fic: colour me in

[pullhisteeth]

the links on my masterlist are currently kind of busted (why oh why tumblr do they all of a sudden take me to a web browser where I have to log in again to read anything?) - going to try to sort them tomorrow 🫶 meeting adjourned thanks for listening

#why do apps insist on trying to fix things that are not broken #i love u just the way u are tumblr please stop #ugh #eddie munson #fic #stranger things

[lizortech]

if i click on tumblrmart looking for my blog one more time i’m gonna lose it

#why tf did they change it UGH the tumblr app is not my friend

[weirdwaterbear]

Throwing rocks at a hornet's nest here but I love how anti-tiktok, "I only use tumblr" people will see some reposted shit from tiktok and be like "this is the funniest/best thing I've ever seen but tiktok still sucks" and if you point out to them hey, if you like all these videos you might actually enjoy tiktok if you gave it a shot, they immediately pop off about how much garbage and awful shit there is on the app, which like... First off, same for tumblr? And second, y'all act like tiktok doesn't have an algorithm and you're gonna just constantly be scrolling past a bunch of shit you hate. The algorithm it has is honestly SCARY good (the scary part is a topic for another day), when I first got the app I think my FYP was more or less curated to be exclusively shit I liked and wanted to see more of in the span of like, a day or so tops. And much like tumblr, for all the garbage on the app, there's just as much wonderful, funny, creative, interesting, informative, weird, etc content to balance it out. The two apps are more similar than they are different, imo.

Anyway, this post isn't me like, trying to "convert" anyone to tiktok, it DEFINITELY has plenty of flaws (cough cough censorship issues) and it's obviously totally ok if you're just not interested or just prefer the mixed-media format of tumblr to the videos-only one of tiktok, so no peer pressure or anything, but I just don't really understand the like, visceral hate and disgust directed at the app and its users. Seems kinda excessive y'all. :/

#ugh everyone on there has no fuckin brain and its all stupid memes and dances n teens #txt #me #ramblings #tiktok #tumblr #rant kinda #im open to hearing legit reasons why you hate tiktok if you do but like please dont just try and start a fight for no reason #im rly not trynna be a dick like its fine if i dont like the clock app #i just dont get all the rly angry shit i see on here when ppl talk abt it ykno? #also p.s. just realized a lot of the insults @ tiktok users just feels a lottt like cringe culture :/ #like most of the negative shit i see is like like- #yall..... that is the same shit ppl say abt tumblr... its 2022 cringe culture is dead just let ppl have fun n chill out

[myyexistentiallwormholeee]

hi so I was myexistentialwormhole but I got t3rmed so now I rly wanna kms

#my text #tw #myexistentialwormhole #me #termed #t3rmed #I had 2k people #I’m so fkn sad #that blog had so much shit #from me leaving my ex to everything ugh #I FUCKING HATE YOU TUMBLR #WHY DO I RETURN TO THIS APP #YOU FUCKING STUPID MODERATORS DONT GET IT

[pennylanefics]

Homecoming - Andrei Svechnikov

a/n: got this done in one day :) i love this man so much ugh. also not quite sure if the translations or spellings for the words in russian i used are accurate, but i wanted to include that :)

summary: andrei goes back to russia for a few months, but you aren’t able to go with him

word count: ~2.1k

another a/n: tumblr is stupid and wouldn't let me format the text messages properly, so the italicized responses are from the reader, bold and italicized are from svech :) his messages are clearly labeled, but just a little warning that it's formatted strange because of this dumb app

“I’ll miss you,” you whisper against Andrei’s chest, your arms wrapped around his waist. He holds you close, his hands running up and down your back softly.

“I’ll miss you too, malysh,” he murmurs into your hair. Tears fill both of your eyes as you stand in the middle of the airport terminal, not wanting to leave him just yet.

Andrei was going back to Russia for a few months to visit family and reset after a tough season. He needed to get away and that meant going back home.

“I wish you could come with me,” he says, cupping your cheeks with his hands, his thumbs catching all the tears that fall from your eyes.

“It’s really difficult to take off work right now,” you sigh, leaning into his touch. “Plus, you should spend time with your family and friends, don’t worry about me.”

“You are the love of my life, of course I’m going to think about you,” he sheepishly replies, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. You smile up at him, feeling your own face heat up under his hands.

“Maybe some other time, when it’s not short notice.” He nods eagerly and smiles sweetly at you. He checks his watch and sighs, his smile falling and replacing with a frown, realizing that he needs to get going soon.

“I should, uh, I should go,” he says reluctantly, clearing his throat as he gets a little choked up. You nod and inhale sharply, not wanting to cry, but realizing that he won’t be by your side for the next three months or so, was finally settling in.

“I love you, Svech,” you whimper, falling into his chest again, crying uncontrollably this time. 

“I’ll be back before you know it, honey,” he says in your ear. “I’ll make sure to find time to call you every day.” You nod against his shoulder and pull away, wiping your tears. Andrei’s eyes soften and he swats your hands away playfully to do the job for you.

“I love you,” he tells you, kissing you sweetly, your tears mixing between your lips. “So so much.”

“You better go before you’re late,” you tell him, pushing his chest back a little. He laughs and nods, stepping away from you with his suitcase. He blows you a kiss and waves to you, turning around to get in the security line.

You slowly walk out of the airport and back to your car, trying your hardest not to break down, but you couldn’t help it. As soon as you fall into the driver’s seat and your door shuts, you sob loudly, resting against your steering wheel, trying to catch your breath through it all.

A few minutes later, you get a text from Andrei with a photo of him at his gate, a frown on his face and tears evident in his eyes.

From: Svechy 🩵

I miss my love already :(

You laugh a little and save the photo, setting it as your lock screen.

I miss you too, my dear. It’ll be a long few months but we can get through it. Text me when you are boarding and when you land <3

From: Svechy 🩵

Promise. Be safe heading home

You love react the message and connect your bluetooth to your car, backing out of your parking space and exiting the garage, thinking about your boyfriend the entire drive back home. Once you park in the drive way, you stare up at the house that you’ve practically moved into. You promised to watch over his house while he was gone, and now, you were beginning to wonder why you agreed to do so.

Maybe it was because you would be surrounded by him while he wasn’t physically here. His bed would smell like his body wash and cologne, his sweatshirts would be full access to you at any point of the day, and photos of him would be all over the place, giving you the chance to look them over and see him when he wasn’t available.

Stepping into the house, you set your bag on the coat rack shelf, kicking your shoes off underneath it. Dragging your feet to the living room, you fall onto the couch and sigh. Just then, you get a text from Andrei, letting you know that he’s boarding now and that it’s going to be a long flight there.

You exchange a few more texts with him before he has to turn his phone off for the beginning of the flight. He paid for in-flight messaging and entertainment, so you would be able to contact him throughout, but you figured he would want to sleep and rest, especially with the time change.

As the hours tick by, the house was far too silent for your liking, so you decide to run some errands and do some shopping for some retail therapy. After three hours and five stores later, you return to his house, ready to unpack all the things you bought, which included some new books, some food and snacks for this week that he didn’t have in his house, and some little trinkets you thought would look nice around his home, to make it feel more like your space, for the time being.

Hours later, you are curled up in Andrei’s bed, reading your book and listening to some music quietly in the background. Your phone dings with an incoming text, and you finish reading the paragraph you were in the middle of before picking your phone up, finding a text from Andrei.

From: Svechy 🩵

Just landed. My friend is picking me up. Really early here

He sends a couple pictures, one of his exhausted looking self, his usual white baseball cap on backwards, his eyes drooped with sleep. Also included was a picture of the beautiful sunset coming up, the sky filled with clouds and a gorgeous orange hue.

Glad to hear that, baby. I hope you have the best time there, I think it’ll be good for you

From: Svechy 🩵

I’ll still be thinking about you every day I’m gone, moy med ❤️

Your heart soars in your chest as he uses one of the pet names he calls you in Russian, putting a smile on your face. You receive another text from him before you can respond.

From: Svechy 🩵

What are you doing?

Reading a new book in your bed

You send him a photo of yourself, which he reacts to with a heart almost instantly.

From: Svechy 🩵

You are so beautiful. I don’t know how I’m going to survive these months without you

You’ll survive ❤️ we can get through this, it’ll be over by the time we know it

You hoped your words would reign true. But sure enough, even though these three months dragged on more than either of you were expecting, he was soon texting you that he was heading to the airport and would be on a plane back home in the next few hours.

Somehow, you managed to stay relatively sane through this time apart. Andrei made time to call you at least once per day, and if he didn’t, he would still be texting you and letting you know how his day was going.

There were some nights where you cried yourself to sleep, wanting to be held by him but knowing he was thousands of miles away. You tried not to tell him of your current state some nights, not wanting to worry him or make him feel bad.

But now, he was finally coming back home. Or at least to his second home that he’s made in the States. To welcome him back, you decided to make a sign to hold up for him to see while you wait for him at baggage claim, and you were so excited to see him again overall.

Because he had messaging on the plane, he makes sure to text you updates every now and then, with the estimated time that he’d be landing, to let you know when to head to the airport and wait for him. 

Soon, you find yourself parking in the same garage that you were in months ago, crying as your lover left for his home country. Now, you were eager to actually be here, to see him again, to be in his arms, feel him.

You arrive about an hour before his plane is supposed to land, sitting in a chair with your sign, your headphones on, listening to music to drown the loud airport noises surrounding you. You get a text after sitting there for a while that his plane just landed, and immediately, your heart starts to race.

You were starting to get antsy and jittery, your hands shaking at the thought of seeing your boyfriend after so long; tears were already forming in your eyes, and you knew the second he appeared in your vision, you would be a mess.

Before you know it, Andre is trudging towards the baggage claim area, where you are standing, holding up your sign that reads ‘Happy (second) Homecoming’ in big letters. He has his usual white hat on backwards, hiding any signs of bed head that he didn’t want to deal with.

As soon as he sees you, he quickly rushes over to you and drops his things by his side, swiping you up in his arms and spinning you around, just like they do in movies. Your sign gently falls to the ground next to his stuff as you focus on being back in his arms.

Just as expected, your tears burst out at the moment you feel his arms around you, colliding into his chest. His grip on you is deathly tight, not wanting to let go of you for a second.

“I missed you so much,” he cries into your neck, his own emotions taking over. You could tell his accent had gotten thicker again, using his first language for so long once again and not being used to speaking English.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” you whisper against his shoulder, your tears producing a wet spot on the black fabric.

“Me too. I never want to be away from you for that long,” he replies, pulling away to get a good look at you. His hands cup your cheeks and he stares deep into your eyes for a moment before his own eyes flicker over every single feature of yours. 

You do the same, noticing how he hasn’t shaved in a while, and how he looks much more well-rested and refreshed. As much as he missed you, he can’t deny that this trip did him a lot of good, and you were glad that it did.

Andrei brings your face closer and crashes his lips onto yours in a searing kiss, all of his emotions in the past few months pouring into it. Your head spins from the feeling of his lips on yours after all this time, your hands wrapping around his neck to keep him in place.

“I love you,” he mumbles against your lips as the kiss breaks. “Move in with me.”

His words make you freeze, and you pull back to look into his eyes.

“What?”

“I want you to live with me. I don’t want to be away from you like that anymore. I want to wake up with you beside me, fall asleep with you in my arms, make breakfasts and dinners together while music plays through the house. I want you with me all the time.”

His words make you tear up again, so this is what he was thinking when he was away; it was comforting knowing he was dealing with the same sort of issues that comes with short term long distance.

“I would love to, Andrei,” you smile widely, cupping his cheeks and kissing him once again. “I spent so many nights wanting to be in your arms again and I think living with you would solve so many of my problems.”

He laughs at your slightly joking comment and wipes your cheeks to rid the tear streaks.

“Great. Because as much as I loved visiting my home country, my new home is here. With you.” Your heart beats rapidly as he says this, a blush covering his cheeks as well. “I like your sign, by the way.”

He lets you go to pick up the thin poster board, looking over it and laughing at the tiny ‘(second)’ you included between the two large words. 

“I know this isn’t your true home, so I thought it was fitting.” He shakes his head at your words and wraps his arm around you again.

“This is my true home now. And even if I ever leave North Carolina, wherever you are, will be my home, moya lyubov’.”

malysh - baby

moy med - my honey

moya lyubov' - my love

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