#wanted to recreate that feeling with this one kind of

[firehose118]

thinking about how tommy is uniquely positioned to help eddie in s8

under the watchful eye of catholicism, eddie would have been raised to believe in the nuclear family. this is the schema of family eddie has been trying to impose on himself and chris, at least in part because he feels like it's his fault that chris doesn't have a mother. he feels like their family is incomplete without a mother

whether eddie is actually straight or not, it's clear that he's chafing within the confines of this unexamined, prescribed, idealistic kind of heterosexuality. ryan guzman has said as much: eddie is trying to force the kinds of relationships with women that he feels like he's supposed to have, rather than ones that would actually make him happy

tommy spent decades in the closet; hiding both from himself and from the outside world. he had to come to terms with the reality of his desires and with the fact that he was not sexually or romantically attracted to women, no matter how hard he tried to force himself to be

tommy had to accept that the life that he grew up believing he would have—the one that he was told over and over again was the only acceptable way for him to live—was not a life that could ever make him happy. he is not what he thought he was supposed to be, but there's nothing wrong with that

now it's eddie's turn to learn this. he is trying with increasingly disastrous results to recreate 1:1 what he and chris had with shannon without remembering that it fell apart the first time—without allowing himself to remember how miserable he and shannon both were. eddie thinks he can force these relationships to work because he's done it before and he was happy. but he didn't, and he wasn't

maybe eddie is gay. maybe he's bi, maybe he's ace. maybe he really is straight and he just has a lot more work to do to disentangle his ideas of romantic partner and mother of my child from each other—to see a relationship as a partnership for himself rather than as payment for a debt he feels he owes to his son

eddie needs to stop getting into relationships based on guilt—based on obligation and what he thinks is the right or even the only thing to do—and start figuring out what he actually wants out of a relationship for himself

regardless of what, exactly, the writers decide eddie's core denial is going to be, tommy is the most qualified person to help him through it right now. tommy has been there. tommy knows how hard it is to date a woman who is perfectly lovely on paper and to just not be able to love her the way she deserves—because of him

tommy knows what it's like to feel broken because of this. and tommy knows what it's like to fight his way to the understanding that he is not

there was nothing wrong with tommy: he was just trying to force himself to be someone he is not because that's what was expected of him

there is nothing wrong with eddie: he is just trying to force himself to be someone he is not because he thinks that's what is expected of him

tommy can help eddie get there

#is this anything? #also obv regardless of his sexuality eddie needs to come to terms with the fact that his relationship with shannon was over before she died #he needs to accept that he couldn't have made it work even if he had just had a little more time #but staring that in the face makes him feel so ashamed and shitty and broken that he's constructed this facade of denial and false memory #and he won't heal from any of this until that facade can come down and he can look directly at the facts without flinching #(something something apple pie life something something the odyssey of recollection) #i just think tommy is the one who is best positioned to help him navigate going through that #it's a different situation but he's gonna Understand the denial on a deeper level than anyone else in eddie's life could possibly #also i personally ride hard for gay/ace eddie but i'm not optimistic they're gonna go there in the show #911 abc #911 #911 meta #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #911 speculation #mine

[creatureesque]

like the movies

#the song is a very specific reference for bcs fans #when i was watching ep2 i was so whole heartedly convinced that they were about to sing this abba song i was so sure of it #bcs changed the way my brain works forever the winnder takes it all episode killed me and brought me back to life i was a changed man #wanted to recreate that feeling with this one kind of #succession #connor roy #shiv roy #kendall roy #roman roy #woop.jpg

[ink-the-artist]

Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.

The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.

You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character

#the actual animation of the wolf eating your character wasnt scary he kind of just cartoonishly swallows the character whole lol #the scary part is being pursued by him and never knowing how close he is #i remember being surprised when i first saw the game bc it was presented to me as #a fun addictive sort of game kinda like a mobile app game #and then i see it and its a horror game and the creators are just completely oblivious to it lmao #dream art #<- thats my tag for all my dream-inspired art #art #gif #photomanipulation #digital art #liminal #weirdcore #used a mix of ai photos and regular photos for this one #the ai stuff is sooooo good for recreating what a dream looks and feels like #but i didnt use it too much bc i wasnt able to get the specific photos i wanted :/ #hmmmm this is vore isn’t it

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc. #Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ?? #Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

[toasteaa]

Eclair kissing Neuvillettes neck…in his office? in hers? 👀 hmm..

Gray don't do this to me, I have already been thinking of this all morning, this idea has already been buzzing around and won't STOP -

Can't even get my brain to stop spinning long enough to talk about it because then I start thinking about Neuvillette's little surprised gasp at realizing just how sensitive to touch he is and Eclair’s satisfied hum when Neuvillette's grip on her hips just gets a little tighter after she ghosts her lips right at the junction of his neck and his shoulder and then I fall apart!!! The moments before this where Eclair is unpining Neuvillette's brooch and pulling nearly all his finery away so she can get even the briefest access to his skin? His uncharacteristically shaky warning that he has a meeting in 30 minutes and the way he just holds her closer when he hears her chuckling reassurance that this'll only take a moment?

Goodbye I just restarted the entire cutscene in my brain and have to watch it all play out in front of me AGAIN-

#toast talks #my greatest sin was recreating Eclair’s office in my damn teapot so now I can think about these kind of scenarios all the time #as if it's any better in *his* office. No. It's like five times worse because at least his couches aren't directly next to the door. #Free rein for her to be as much of a menace as she (and he) would like. #Not to mention that a LOT of these moments are partially experimental as well. Find out how he likes to be touched. #Find out what feels best to HIM. And Eclair loves to indulge in her research hehehe 💕 #Ugh but now I'm thinking about Neuvillette finding a light blue smudge on the inside of his shirt collar later on that evening #and the reminder is enough for him to completely ruin his sheets that night. #I love their little moments like this cause its like. Have they fucked yet? No because Neuvillette doesn't want to hurt her. #Meanwhile *he's* the one falling apart from the phantom kisses he still feels along his neck. #OKAY OKAY GOODBYE FR NOW I AM GOING TO START BARKING AND HOWLING IF I DON'T STOP

[earlgreybocchan]

Me when I think my dad is cool and admirable

#the previous earl lost the game lol #like i think if ciel's dad came back from the dead instead of ciel prime that ciel would have the same im the earl reaction #i don't have a reading of this narrative at all that he's trying to be his dad or wants sebastian to be his dad bc number one i think... #...vincent only looks like sebastian bc that's yana's art style and number two it also gets on my nerves the really fandom-y brain to... #...assign found family into actual nuclear family roles. when ciel's whole house now is made up of relationships that are really only... #...defined by how much they all love each other. it's the opposite of what his life was like before where he was stuck in like. an older... #...brother does this and marries this and the watchdog does this and rich people are expected to be like this and a family is a nuclear... #...kind of family unit and that's honestly what caused madam red and ciel and ciel prime a lot of their problems pre fire #now instead the people in ciel's house care about their roles as maid and gardener and chef etc only insofar as playing that role is a... #...way to have freedom for them and it's a way to do things for ciel only bc they love him. not that vincent and rachel completely sucked... #...and didn't love their kids but it was the opposite of ciel's situation now and uh i don't think he wants it back or to recreate it #i think he sees his parents and the midfords as sheep just like of the rest of the rich people he complains about #it's a category 10 albert moriarty situation #he was raised in it so he understands just how destructive these expectations are madam red had the exact problems with the expectation... #...she should get married and have kids when i don't think she particularly wanted that to the point she had to convince herself she did... #...even though it felt unnatural to her and i think that's why she was so attached to the idea of vincent but anyway comphet madam red... #...different post i have already made somewhere probably #it's the same deal for ciel i think he thinks the way the rich people govern their lives is stupid and sebastian has both spoiled him and... #...made him feel like he's above all that and honestly that mindset genuinely informs a lot of this arc and the sheep motif #kuroshitsuji #my kuro posts #ciel

[biblicalhorror]

Reading a court of thorns and roses bc it's been rec'd to me many times (by the same two friends mostly) and also I've never really read a smut novel before and Jesus christ this protagonist is insufferable

#first of all its like the author tried to recreate katniss everdeen without any fundamental understanding of her character #like the reason the whole 'i hunt and provide for my family because no one else will' thing works for katniss is that her mother is ill #and her sister is like 8 years old #so like yeah obviously she'd be the one to provide #but feyre is like 'i have to do everything around here because my two OLDER sisters simply dont feel like doing chores' #like what???? #i get that her dying mother for some reason put the responsibilities on her but it makes 0 sense #like whoever wrote this was clearly a youngest sibling with a martyr complex because its just. so heavy handed #also her insistence that nesta is simply too shallow and vapid to do what she does makes me roll my eyes every other page #honestly justice for nesta #1) if my sister started doing all of the hunting and providing without ever communicating why i would probably assume she wanted to do it #2) if after our mothers death she started completely resenting everything i do and glaring at me constantly id think she blames me for it #3) being around that kind of smug negative energy would absolutely make me start to be a little mean too even just as a defense mechanism #4) shes constantly assuming the worst in nesta and is proven at least twice to be an unreliable narrator in regards to nestas priorities #also that comment feyre made about how smug she felt after leaving knowing that her family would 'starve without her' god what an asshole #like you cant present yourself as so much morally better than your sisters and then turn around and say shit like that #anyway im hoping she becomes less insufferable as the story goes on #im told the first book is the worst in the series so i just gotta power through for the sake of world building #j reads acotar series #<<<feel free to blacklist if u dont want spoilers and/or critiques of this series bc i plan to vent on here a lot abt it

[samwisefamgee]

everyday I join lethal company lobby to Just Vibe and am sent Multiple Friend Request

#help #SORRY im good at video games and fun to hang out with its a CURSE not a blessing #sea of thieves was the same too man every lobby falls in love with me and i just want to play with strangers for a bit #why the instant commitment geez dinner and a movie first #and HALF the time its like bruh you called lootbugs gay no more than 20 minutes ago and you try to friend my fag ass you YOU FUCKING YOUUUU #and the other half theyre just. not my style? had more great times with randos online than i could count but not once met someone who like #i would think about continuing to hang with? #kind of a shame given this is my main recreation? feels like id have made at least one lasting buddy out of the hundreds i played like #3 hours of sea of thieves with one time or something #now to circle back this could Perhaps be due to me not accepting friend requests #but i will circumvent this issue by means of not confronting it #anyway it's fun playing with randos. hoppin in a lobby of strangers is like a jack-in-the-box of the human experience #lots of austrailians on at my 3 am makes for great convos. i sure as hell aint meeting any out in this fuckin city #or anyone else in funky distant timezones #this place is a white suburban hell and this is nearly my only decent recreation and cultural exposure pls #IM NOT EVEN THAT COOL everytime it happens i think of the hercules hades “He's a GUY' line like cmon

[violentdevotion]

3 and 14 for the wip ask :00

self haunt was...

i didnt think about it much beyond that because i was torn on how to write it. rather as a first person account from the woman or third person so the reveal that she's not actually a ghost is drawn out. or even from the house itself. it would've been very gothic in tone though like a Miss Havisham kind if character, except today. so I imagined her in a big black victorian mourning dress but she still pours herself a bowl of cereal everyday. at the time I had the idea I was kind of nocturnal and would sleep during the day and sneak around at night to eat and I felt like I was haunting my house so I guess it was inspired by that and as such I never got round to actually writing it because I didn't want it too personally tied to the actual real me.

14. everyone on the bus is happier than you was just this

I wrote it while on the bus when someone I recognised from highschool got on and I was scared of them recognising me and also disappointed that they didn't. this is straight up just a diary entry from a person (me) who got on the bus after their retail job and was lamenting over the fact that it felt like everyone in the world is happy except for them (me) and they (me) reimagined it as a little story.

#kat tag #pssst kat ask me about forgetful ghost #ameeras.got.mail #anyways i think im a Concepts person but not a Writing person #also so like the detail of them sitting on the back of the bus is i kind of wsnted to recreate highschool dynamics likenthe idea of being #an adult but not feeling like one whereas everyone else is and as such you feel emptionally stuck in highschool #and everyone as resorts to their dynamics at that time as well. the contrast of people in suits and ties sitting on the back of the bus #kicking the seats of the person in front of them #also i was never the loner in highschool like i always had a friends and always managed to fit into a friendgroup and hang out with people #so idk why when im feeling depressed i rewrite history as if i was the person who sits alone on the bus #but i di think the idea i wanted to convey was moreso like i said being an adult but not feeling like one #ask game #tag game

[lovehandelreunion]

i can't help but laugh when i watch the new p/jo show and it uses all of its effort not to deliver a good story, but to go out of its way to never use more of its vfx budget than absolutely necessary

finished episode 3 and not only do they turn medusa invisible to mime cutting her head off so they don't have to show it but they also have the turning a fury to stone be blurry through a window???

am i crazy? am i a hater?? am i living in an alternate reality where the show is just bad???

#about to go absolutely crazy in the tags hold on #everything feels so awkward and stilted and the framing of scenes and story beats is just so #weird??????? #the biggest criticism of the movies were that they weren't faithful to the books #and like obviously i'm not expecting the show to be a perfect 1 to 1 recreation of the books #but some of the rewrites are just . bad???? #why is gabe okay?? you realize we have to kill him by the end of the book right??? #i don't care if they want to make him ''more realistic'' #the whole point is supposed to be that he's such an asshole that p.ercy's okay with killing him!!! #we get the whole lu/ke ann/abeth t/halia backstory in episode 2 in exclusively dialogue format #when like . it's supposed to be kind of a huge deal?????? #i accidentally talked over what i thought was going to be a small part of it and then i ended up missing the entire thing?????? #where's the fates scene?? the sword training scene??? #and telling you it's medusa from the get go absolutely ruins the tension of the entire scene #not that it matters considering she and every other monster they fight gets one shot #i'm not even going to talk about the bad writing and directing because i already feel like i'm going crazy #am i being too mean? i feel like i'm being mean but it's just ! bad !!!! #losing my mind what the fuck #what do you mean critical reviews are mostly positive #not putting actual tags on this because i'm just speaking to the void right now 😔

[snekdood]

personally, i dont see the fundamental difference between deleting your account and making a new one and deleting all your old posts, if we're talking about "running from ones past", then what are you tryna hide there, bud?

#mood #vent #the evidence of your past is gone regardless either way sooooooooooo #how is it so different and how do you keep convincing yourself you're morally superior? #i mean- this is me pretending I agree that that's true to play devils advocate a lil here #bc i know the only reason i deleted any account of mine was bc i just like fresh starts sometimes #and tbh i struggle to find a username i like and some website require me to delete & remake in order to change it #what-- is the problem that you struggle to hold on to me and keep track of me? #bc i promise as soon as i start posting my ocs people Will know who I am regardless of if I recreate- #at least yall and your kiwifarms stalking-ass followers will recognize it and immediately report back to their cult leader #so whats your issue here EXACTLY? #you're already documenting everything I do. so whats your issue? #i mean. is it bc other people wont 'know who I am' and what YOU think i'm like? even though other people- strangers- #already dont know who I am? #bc if thats your argument- I could say the same for you! how are people supposed to 'know who you are' when you delete all your posts? #there was only 1 time I actually deleted my acct out of fear of how ppl would treat me- and it was bc I was dating you! #you made me feel like I had to be Perfect. so quite frankly #blame yourself you bum #what can I say- ig i learned how to cover my tracks from you. #bc before you- I probably would have left it up even with all the bs happening at the time #and now I regret deleting it bc the only reason I did was to impress you with how Good I Am. 🤮 #be honest- the reason you're upset is bc you cant use what was on that blog against me #even though what was on that blog PALES in comparison to the kind of shit you've done and posted. #ok ignoring you now and focusing on me again- there was so much art on that blog thats just lost forever and it makes me sad. #even any problematic things. I woulda wanted to keep it if only to keep an archive of my growth as an artist #plus there was a gif of hoody dancing to the thrill by wiz khalifa (i think that was the song I made the gif to) that i'll never get back 😔 #i honestly have an issue with deleting my art in general- stuff that isnt problematic so dont start w me bitch- but- for some reason #I just used to get these urges to delete shit like out of shame. I think its bc of being trans and trying to stuff that down and feeling #ashamed that I even wanted to be the guy I wanted to be so I would just get rid of it all and .-. #theres a lil chunk of my comic art that's just gone forever and i wish ik everything I drew. at least I remember one of the ocs i deleted

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #got yet another “you should turn your hobbies into a business!” pitch today #like. sir I get that you think I'm really cool for making my own earrings yeah I'm super cool but still #I do not enjoy making things for other people. I enjoy making things for me. I've tried making things for other people #it's always disappointing for me. they love it. sure. but I always hate what I make. I make art for one person and it's me #I would never sell my crafts because I do not make things I don't want. I make things that are hyper specific to my tastes #I've been asked to recreate things I've made and the spark just isn't there. it's never even close to as good as the first one #I cannot motivate myself to make crafts for other people. I'll teach people how to do the thing. but I can't push myself to make it fo them #anyway would it be cool to have some extra money? sure. is it feasible to expect myself to be able to keep any kind of stock available? no #my art skill is “yeah I got possessed by my muse and churned this out overnight instead of sleeping and now I have it” #but I have to learn to not make things when I feel like I have to. I always hate the outcome. #I just wait until the mood takes me and then I create something that has life in it. I put myself into it and everyone can see that. #I get compliments because they're uniquely me. I can't recreate that on command. it either happens or not #plus I do not want to even think about setting up a new social media account and worrying about timing my work and tracking materials #just... no. I will continue to make things for me because it makes me happy. I do not wish to sell my crafts. #if it's a good craft it's a spark of inspiration. a piece of myself that I keep to remind me of who I am when I forget #anyway. I don't want to turn my hobbies into a side hustle

[scientia-rex]

Sometimes people tell me I'm a good person. I'm not a good person by nature, or by default. I'm a good person because I've decided that it's important to me to act like one, on a daily basis, forever.

My actual nature is that I want power. I want power and I want my life to be easy and I want other people to be forced to be nice to me even if they hate me. I want other people to have to suck up to me, I want to watch people who I know hate me suffer through the indignity of having to suck up to me. I want to hurt people who hurt me. I want all of these things in the same exact deeply recognizable way that a gorilla or a chimpanzee does. I watch those documentaries and I recognize myself, intimately. The fact that I can behave like a good person in spite of that has taken me a long time and a lot of effort to achieve.

What you feel isn't as important for your "goodness" as what you do. And you get good at what you practice. So practice your skills at being polite, pleasant, kind. Practice gently interrupting negative behaviors--whether that's someone's negative behaviors directed towards themselves, or directed towards someone else. The idea that we have to be inherently without sin is such Christian garbage. It's psychological gibberish. We want things! We want everything! That is normal and human and the key is not acting on every bad feeling you have.

I have taken my insatiable desire for power and to manipulate people and I have used it for good. I have learned how to manipulate people into coming to the doctor and taking their blood pressure medication and being honest about their recreational substance use. I have taken my psychology education and I have used it to craft a persona that makes people feel at ease. I go home at the end of the day exhausted, because maintaining a persona for ten hours straight is exhausting, but I do it happy, because I manipulated the people I work with into feeling better and having brighter days. I manipulated my patients into feeling good about their achievements and recognizing where we need to do things differently.

The hard part is that when the mask slips, people find it not just off-putting but deeply upsetting. When I explain things like "I have thought very carefully about how I would conduct a career in domestic terrorism because I would genuinely like to bomb the headquarters of most American insurance companies, but I don't see a way to do it without getting caught and either killed or spending the rest of my life in prison, and at the moment I consider that an unacceptable outcome," people go from "ha ha! my wacky colleague" to "Jesus Christ, I didn't realize there was something actually wrong with you."

Anyway, don't make your kids read the extended works on Machiavelli at twelve, my dad thought he was helping me but all he accomplished was making me sad I'll never be a king.

[yuri-is-online]

And in With the New (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia x Yuu)

"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."

"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"

"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."

notes: they/them used for Yuu, their ex is implied to be kind of a shit person, other dorms can be found here (x) Ortho is somewhat included in Idia's part but does not have one of his own.

Kalim- "Do you have any other things from your world?"

Kalim has expressed a desire for you to see as much of Twisted Wonderland as possible, and he stands by that, but it would really suck if the only physical connection you had to your home was something that brought up painful memories. Your past relationship isn't something that makes him jealous, just concerned since it clearly causes you distress. He can wait to get you more appropriate clothing until after he makes sure you're ok. If the sweatshirt really is the only thing you have from home, he'll be asking if there are any foods you remember or activities you liked to do with the people you actually cared about that the two of you can recreate in Twisted Wonderland. That way you won't have to feel the need to hold onto something painful and he gets to make you happy.

Jamil- "Then why didn't you get rid of it before you came here?"

On the one hand he does feel a bit second rate at the thought of you holding onto something form an ex, but his primary concern is the implication that your financial straights have always been this... dire. He definitely wants to know about your previous relationship so he can judge them for how much better he is, but once he notices that the memories are a bit on the traumatic side he stops pushing and feels just the slightest bit guilty. But really, if it's something that hurts you to hold onto then why do it? You aren't him, you don't need to do that, people love you and want to take care of you, him included. He's not going to just give you his hoodie, he would literally die of embarrassment, but he does get you a sweatshirt. If for no other reason than to keep him from staring holes into your back now that he knows where the other one came from.

Vil- "It doesn't suit you at all."

If his treatment of Epel is anything to go by, Vil is not above spending money on something he considers to be a pet project. Not that this... friendship is one of those, nor is he particularly jealous of some no name extra who was too blind to beg on their hands and knees to get back in your good graces. Not that he needs to do that you understand; as arrogant as Vil has a reputation for being, he is one of the people who has been more genuine when expressing concern and gratitude for you. His comment isn't meant to be a slight, clothing that makes you feel bad about yourself is failing to do its job as fashion, and as a world class super model that is unacceptable. In other words get in the car looser we're going shopping.

Rook- "Ah, I thought it was something like that."

Is it bad if he says he meant he hoped it was something like that? Not that he was rooting for your ex to be a bad person, he would never wish a subpar lover on you. But when he saw the tattered edges of your sweatshirt and how it clashed with the things you bought for yourself, he hoped that maybe someone in your world hadn't wanted your hands to be cold. If that's not the case, then if you are ok with letting it go as a lover of romance who is he to deny you your freedom? Granted tossing roses onto a fire while you burn an ugly sweatshirt is both very extra and very Rook but hey. He's having fun and you've got a new jacket.

Epel- "Afford shamford I could'a just made ya one!"

Offering their sweetheart their hoodie is something manly tall guys get to do and Epel has really really REALLY. Been looking forward to getting to that point in his relationship with you. He wants to feel like a real man, like your real man to be specific. The thought of some other piece of shit getting to do that first and treating you like a used dish rag pisses him off. Best believe he is huffing and puffing his way back to Grandma Felmier's boot camp with a mission to do you one and your ex two better by knitting you a pullover to go with your uniform. Everything that comes from Harveston is a top quality product prefect, better than whatever you left behind he guarantees it.

Idia- "So this is that kind of route huh..."

Of course you had a partner back in your world, if he can see your good points then a normie absolutely could. That doesn't make you less appealing, it just makes him feel all that more convinced he doesn't have a chance. He's halfway through whipping out his tablet to excuse himself when Ortho asks what you meant by "shitty memories" and they both get blindsided by just how much vitriol you have for a person whose clothing you technically kept on you. And suddenly he's back in business because there are few things that unite Idia with someone faster than a good old fashion bitch fest. Sure, his insults are weirdly possessive of you, but if he had any doubts about your feelings for this person he doesn't now! He's never heard you talk about anyone like this before and he finds it so attractive he almost forgets to short circuit when Ortho convinces you to try on his hoodie. Almost.

Malleus- "..."

Sometimes he feels like a broken record, constantly marveling at how little fear you have of him, but really child of man, you have no fear. Malleus has very little in the way of emotional intelligence, so he doesn't fully understand that what he is feeling is jealousy he just knows the thought of you with someone else's clothes hurts. Unfortunately for you both, in addition to not being emotionally intelligent he also isn't with the times and there is a non zero percent chance he will be bringing you a cloak and be genuinely confused when you don't immediately replace your old hide for his. (Lilia takes responsibility for that, he was making a joke honest.) Oh? The point was it's supposed to be something he wore so you can feel closer to him when he's gone? Well why didn't you say so child of man, he is more than willing to offer you a scale- what do you mean you can't wear that either?

Lilia- "Oh? Are you asking for one of mine?"

Shame has not been a word in Lilia's vocabulary since long before you showed up prefect. He always buys oversized clothing because of how cute the long sleeves look on him, but oh they would be so much cuter on you prefect, don't you want to see? Oh and while the two of you are at it, why don't you let him paint your nails and do your eye shadow. He's never had one of those slumber party things you humans do, you should make a night of this so you can both get a new experience out of this. He can have a slumber party and you can be the center of someone's world. Also what do you mean you're supposed to summon the devil at these things, he's already here.

Silver- "Would you like one of mine?"

Lilia raised a very good boy who thinks nothing of offering the shirt off his back to save someone in distress. Silver isn't a jealous person by nature, he's more concerned with making sure you are safe and taken care of than he is making sure you don't still have feelings for your ex. Above all else, Silver wants to be a safe space for you to come home to at the end of the day, like a proper knight in shining armor. Though he does have to admit, you look really nice in Diasomnia colors, they're really close to Briar Valley's so if you decide to come and visit he's assures you that you will fit right in. He's sure his father would be very happy to play host. Maybe too happy.

Sebek- "HOW UTTERLY DISGRACEFUL."

You think he's upset at you but he's not, that's made painfully clear with the rant he starts to go on about proper courtship procedure. Offering clothing to someone is supposed to be a sign of high affection, nay eternal devotion! And it suddenly becomes clear to you that Sebek has somehow managed to confuse the concept of a stolen hoodie and a knight's favor. He seems to have managed to convince himself, in the span of two seconds, that you are wearing this not because it is one of your only pieces of clothing, but because your ex convinced you that they're the only one who could love you which IS NOT TRUE. YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN? DO YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAAND?

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #silver x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader

[lexyeevee]

it's wild to see myhouse having escaped the orbit of Doom People, because so much of it specifically riffs on doom in a way that is laser-targeted at Doom People, to the point that i just wouldn't have expected it to be nearly as interesting if you don't pick up on that stuff

right from the outset, "my house" is even a recognizable genre, because doom was among the first approachable platforms for creating a 3D space, and if you give random people the ability to create a 3D space then many of them will just try to recreate their own house. (i want to say jp lebreton even made an effort to play through every house map on the idgames archive at one point, though hell if i can find it now.) there was in fact already a "myhouse.wad", from 1995!

frankly it's incredible that someone (or someones) put so much effort into this map and then had the gall to simply post it on doomworld as "myhouse.wad", because that is a thread title that guarantees the fewest possible people will bother to look. there are posts in the thread where people outright admit that they only checked because they were surprised how many replies a "my house" wad got.

so anyway, okay, the "classic" doom wad experience is that you download a wad, it contains exactly 1 map, and it has zero custom textures or music or other frills. most wads from the 90s are like this; if you're lucky you might get a bad midi rendition of a metallica song. nowadays there are texture artists and musicians and everything collaborating on full map packs, but "just a map" is still kind of the default mapping experience and is recognizable to anyone who's been around doom for sufficiently long.

and myhouse riffs on absolutely every aspect of this:

• the music is the MAP01 music, Running From Evil, which is just the music you get if you supply your own map in the MAP01 slot and do nothing else. so a ton of 90s maps had this same track as their background music, so everyone has heard it a zillion times. it is ingrained into so many people's skulls. subtly fucking with it is a great way to fuck with the player

• the house uses only stock doom 2 textures, or occasionally light modifications of them. again this is just what you get if you make a map and don't supply any other resources, so the stock textures are very familiar. only later, with sufficient poking around, does the map introduce new textures, which really help sell the impression of being swept away to Somewhere Else

• if you take the exit, you go to MAP02, Underhalls. this is the expected experience because doom wads replace what's already there — you're not really supplying a "new map pack" or anything, you're overwriting a map from the original doom 2 progression. (there are ways to fiddle with this now, but in vanilla doom 2, the level progression was hardcoded.) so the "ending" of a no-frills single-map wad is always, always to transition to Underhalls. the opening shot of Underhalls is practically like seeing the credits. so roping Underhalls into the experience is completely unexpected, because Underhalls is the sign that you've escaped back to regular doom

• the super shotgun is "hidden" in Underhalls, in probably the best-known super shotgun location in the whole game, because it's the first time you can get it

• incidentally Underhalls itself feels uncanny, because the player camera height is higher than usual to make the house's proportions feel sensible. (part of the trouble with exact recreations of real spaces in doom is that the camera is weirdly low.) i was actually convinced that myhouse included a modified Underhalls, but no, it's stock doom 2 Underhalls, it just feels off when you're slightly taller

but wait, there's more

• silent teleporters are a feature from boom, a very early doom derivative that added a number of helpful mapping features and is basically considered only half a step beyond vanilla. so shifting between two versions of a space without interruption isn't completely unexpected. it's only later that the portal use becomes more obvious

• although if you're especially canny, you should notice that the second version of the house shows both the upstairs and downstairs windows in full, which is impossible — doom cannot do room-over-room. (in fact this is accomplished with a semi-obscure zdoom feature called sector portals — essentially, the whole second floor and the space outside it are a separate area, and the "ceiling" of the yard becomes a view up through the "floor" of that second space.)

• swinging doors are a hexen feature (polyobjects) that gzdoom inherited. (heretic and hexen were modifications of the doom engine, and zdoom started out as a merge of all three codebases into something that could play all three games.) they might also be in other fancy engines (eternity?), but they are very distinctly not a doom thing. if you're deeply familiar with doom's limitations then they'll jump out at you immediately, but if you're looking at doom like it's any old 3D game then maybe not so much

• recreations of other humble real-world locales are also a somewhat common theme, and remind me in particular of Doom City, from way back in 1995

• a very common desire for players is to "uv-max" a map, i.e. reach the exit on ultra-violence with 100% kills and secrets. if you can't do this, the map is (reasonably) considered broken. it is comically impossible to do this in myhouse, and anyone with the skill to create the map would be acutely aware of this

• the extra weapon frames look to be borrowed from the well-known smooth doom, which adds extra frames for everything and is just pretty dang slick overall. so it's not merely "ho ho, got you, smoother weapons" but specific integration of another familiar project

• this might be reaching a bit, but mirrors are specifically a nightmare in zdoom's software renderer because they work by rendering all visible geometry as if it were physically present on the other side of the mirror — and if there be any actual geometry back there, it will also get rendered and you will have a big fucking mess. so a mirror in the middle of a room is a laughable idea. this is somewhat less of a concern now that the hardware renderer is basically the default, but it's still a spectre looming over the very concept of mirrors, so the way mirrors play out in myhouse is very funny to me

there's probably more, like, the way it intercepts noclip is a stroke of genius and not something i've ever seen done before. but i hope you get the idea

#doom #myhouse.wad

[strawberry-cowmilk]

playing with the brothers' hair

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

content warnings: none

-----

Lucifer

it's only allowed in his room or office when he's absolutely 100% sure nobody can walk in on him getting his hair played with by you, especially his brothers

you can tell he loves it, he just won't admit it plus he denies it

like come on lucifer sir you're literally closing your eyes and leaning into the touch

bring that up and no more playing with his hair for a week though

Mammon

he's like 'sure if you absolutely want to you can play with my hair, totally not because I want it, no way'

when you play with his hair he's so happy, and after you're done he's in a very good mood

like levi was surprised when mammon actually passed him the salt at dinner

mammon lets you try to do silly hairstyles on him, he shows you a picture on his ddd and asks if you'd like to recreate it

Leviathan

he is very surprised of course, and when he lets you he jumps away after one stroke

but he comes back just as quickly, blushing he asks if you could gently run your fingers through his hair

not only do you play with levi's natural hair, but he lets you style his cosplay wigs as well (while he's wearing them)

anyways, you playing with his hair really calms him down after losing a game or watching a sad show

Satan

he thinks it could be a nice bonding moment to let you play with his hair while he reads

maybe he can even read to you

his hair is surprisingly soft too meanwhile all he uses to take care of it is water and shampoo

satan really loves it too but he's kind of casual about it, he calmly asks if you could play with his hair whenever you're alone

one time he actually fell asleep while you were doing it

Asmodeus

he's been waiting for this moment

he pulls out his collection of products and accessories and lets you do whatever you want to his hair

as long as you're not making him look silly on purpose it's all okay

if you don't want to use products but just want to feel his hair that's okay too of course

but he loved it a little too much, so now you have to do it every day

Beelzebub

of course he lets you play with his hair

the first time you did it he was eating a pizza, you know he loved the feeling of you playing with his hair when he actually put the pizza away to smile at you and tell you he is loving this a lot

now beel asks you to do it after his visit to the gym (after he showered of course)

it really helps him relax after his intense workouts

Belphegor

he's very happy on the inside when you ask him, but he just says 'sure go ahead'

just make sure his hair doesn't get too tangled because he thinks it's a pain to brush everything out later

after literally one minute he fell asleep, that's how much he was enjoying it

now every time before he wants to nap and you're around, he gives you that kind of look you know means 'come play with my hair please'

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me scenarios #obey me swd #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #asmodeus obey me #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me #gn!mc #obey me fluff