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#which is just you being annoying. so like. what's that about
timkontheunsure · 3 days
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Queer secondary adolescence and Stolas
(I keep forgetting to put this up here)
Ok, so Stolas being teen dad is one of the reasons I get annoyed when people say he's too horny with Blitz. Or that his relationship is too dramatic and teenager-y.
He's a queer guy who never got to be a teenager, didn't get to have a first boyfriend, or explore who he was. Or do any of the normal stuff most straight teenagers get to do.
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His family stuffed him in the closet, forced him to have child, and gave him an abusive wife as jailer.
(He around 36, with a 17 year old daughter. 36−17=19 when Octavia was born. Likely married at 18).
He's got some chatting up to do.
Up till now his whole life's been about Via, and mitigating Stella's abuse to hid it from Via.
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That's left him barely hanging on, taking an increasing amount of antidepressants; and singing lullabies about not being sure he'll make it till Via's grown up.... 🙁
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There's this thing called second adolescence that alot of queer people experience, when they come out later in life.
It happens when they're weren't allowed to do normal teenage things at the right age. So things like having crushes, go on first dates, have extremely anxious dramatic relationships. As well just be a normal horny teenager.
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Stolas got to do none of that. So he's doing it now.
He's also pretty obviously an autistic guy (separate post ), who didn't get well socialized as a child.
Blitz appears to have been his first and only really friend.
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Stolas is not great at social cues. (He's so happy to be able to help with his special interest, but does realise his tone is upsetting Ozzie).
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Even with Via he struggles to understand her. She needs to tell her dad flat out what she needs.
When she tries to be subtle, and snark he assumes it's just her being a moody teen. And that she'll enjoy loo loo land when she loosen up a bit.
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Because of this lack Stolas mostly fills in gaps in his social experience with masking.
Such copying Gabriel hairstyle from helluva novella to get ready for his first ever date.
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Following Blitz's lead of what to do in an uncomfortable situation.
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And trying to match the energy of how Blitz first came on to him.
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(He's definitely getting better at it from Blitz reaction).
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There's also an idea in CBT called reparenting your inner child. Which about giving yourself some the support, and experiences you missed out on because of abuse.
Stolas needs to go through his secondary adolescence as part of his recovery from his abuse.
So let Stolas be a little horny weirdo. 😛
PS this one will brake you heart. Stolas is standing fully in both these pictures.
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You can see how much he's grown by her light switch.
Kid hasn't even reached his full adult height yet when he had to have a kid.
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 days
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Natalia
Hardersson x Daughter!Reader
Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader
Part of The Big Adeventures Universe
Summary: Talia has a way with the refs
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You wrinkle your nose in disgust as you look at the smear of mud on your boot. You know boots get dirty but this is a new pair and you had hoped to keep them cleaner than this after their first game.
It's a little annoying but there's not much else you can do.
Actually, you haven't had much to do in this match at all which is probably the reason why you can take so much time to inspect your shoes.
The action is on the opposite side of the pitch for the most part with brief forays into the midfield but the ball never got close enough to you to need to touch it.
You like playing, obviously, but sometimes it's nice to be on the field and not have to do much. At least when your mothers are in the crowd because there's always the added pressure of keeping a clean sheet when you have to go to dinner with them afterwards.
Besides, a seven-nil lead on a team at the bottom of the table is always fun to watch while on the field.
Talia has been tearing up the opposition's defence. On a hat trick already with a brace of assists you know she'll be searching for a third to complete her set.
On the bench, you can see Alexia bouncing her leg with the other coaches as if this is a make-it-or-break-it game. You're at the top of the table so you can only think she's hoping for the goal difference to increase.
She's a bit intense like that.
You're a bit more relaxed though. It's a mixture of the usual starting eleven and some of the kids from the B Team, testing out formations and roles.
Your defensive line is mainly the kids but they take orders well and don't seem to mind when you micromanage them.
You usual defence know what you want before telling them so it's a seamless partnership. The kids just need a bit more guidance sometimes.
Not that you've really needed to do it this match with all the action up the other side of the pitch. But, still, it's nice that they listen to instructions.
This match has been an easy win for Barcelona but that doesn't mean it hasn't had its mishaps.
Yellow cards have been flying around since the moment the whistle was blown. Three in the first half and four this second half. It's a little impressive, actually, because this referee isn't really known for giving out cards so willingly.
You think that's probably why Alexia seems so intense on the bench. A few players are a yellow card away from being suspended from the next match and you've got matches against second and fourth in the table in the coming weeks.
She'd probably try to take over for coach yelling if anyone got suspended.
You sigh as another altercation happens in the midfield. Some attackers collide with your midfielder and they go down.
It's a clear yellow but it seems like the ref is done giving out cards this match. It's the wrong decision but you're not about to march up to her and tell her that.
Talia seems to have no such reservations.
You can't quite hear what she's saying but you know she's arguing because her hands are flying around and her face is all tense and the vein in her neck is bulging.
This ref is a bit trigger-happy with dissent though and you can see her hand twitch towards the cards in her pocket.
"Talia!" You yell.
She ignores you.
"Natalia!"
She turns her head slightly to the noise but doesn't stop.
"Natalia Guijarro!"
She turns to look at you and you point to the space in front of you.
She jogs there, panting from exertion or yelling, you're not quite sure.
"Yeah?"
"Don't you dare get a yellow for something as silly as arguing."
"But-"
"No, Alexia's about to blow a gasket on the bench and you'll just give my Morsa more reason to dislike you. Go and get another assist so you have something to brag about."
She sighs, kicking a patch of grass stubbornly. "Fine."
"Good."
Talia ends the match with no yellow cards and a hattrick of assists to add to her hattrick of goals.
Alexia gives you a nod of thanks as you pass her before she turns on her heel to go yell at the players that got yellows.
Talia's arm wraps around your waist as you approach the stands.
"Good game," Momma greets as you stop in front of her.
"Good game for her definitely." You nudge Talia. "Hattrick queen."
Talia's cheeks glow red at the praise. She always does that when it's you complimenting her.
"Almost got a yellow card too," Morsa says and you roll your eyes.
Her whole act of annoyance with Talia is so flimsy at this point.
"But she didn't."
"Yeah, I suppose she didn't..."
Talia's grin widens.
"Let us get changed and we'll meet you outside? Or reservation is in forty-five minutes."
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youraverageaemondsimp · 22 hours
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“Thou Shalt Not Covet.” // Angel!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Human!Reader
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Summary: An angel's duty is to protect and guide humans; never to desire them, for it is a sin. Yet Aemond, the most trusted angel of God, finds himself yearning and desiring for you, a human.
WARNINGS: nsfw, mdni, smut, dubious consent(?), afab! human!fem!reader x angel!aemond, masturbation (m.) unprotected p in v sex, tiddy sucking, fingering, cunnilingus/oral (f. receiving), forbidden relationship, body worship, blasphemy(?), creampie, cumming inside breeding kink, slightly disturbing content at the end, religious themes. + NOT PROOFREAD
WC: 4.5k
A/N: so I'm officially breaking my hiatus with this piece, I know I haven't posted for over two months and I apologize for that! Exams and everything practically ate my life away! // divider creds to @cafekitsune
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God's most trusted angel, Aemond Targaryen, was no ordinary angel. He was sincere, always performing his duties without fail. He was respected amongst his peers, the most obedient angel of god.
Lately there have been rumours about the curse of being God's favourite, whispers about the old tale that all knew very well started resurfacing, the tale of the fallen angel. An incident that is now used as a way to warn angels from disobeying God and trudging the path of temptation.
Must all angels that were favoured by God fall into the way of sin? It has happened before, it might happen again.
Aemond decided that he would never be like that, he wants to prove that he is nothing like the fallen angel and how being God's favourite angel is not a curse, but rather a blessing.
And he did just that. Until a day arrived when he was sent to the land below on an urgent mission.
Aemond was reluctant to descend down to the land of people but he had to on the order of God, his mission was simple, to guide humanity through the famine that was occurring along with the drought that was caused by the devil to wreak havoc amongst the villagers. Messing with God's treasured creations has always been the devil's hobby after all.
And so he disguised himself as a human, helping men, women, children alike to recover, he blessed the land with fertility so that the land could produce crops once again. It was not an easy task, he had spent many weeks on the land, learning how humans function and go about their life which was quite a contrast to angels.
He also learnt how frail the human body is, how much energy is required to perform tasks and an unfamiliar feeling of hunger which he never felt when he was an angel. Every sensation was new to him but he overcame all the difficulties in order to finish his duty.
At least, that is what he had thought…
“Ser?! Are you okay?!” A voice shrieked in shock as he blinked his eye open to see an unfamiliar face with the look of concern staring down at him. You noticed how pale his face was and how dull his features looked, his lips were dry and chapped.
You were just taking a walk through the forest in search of medicinal herbs when you encountered this man lying unconscious in the middle of the path which made you panic thinking he was dead. You sighed in relief when he opened his eye.
“What happened to me?” He asks confused and you furrow your brows, “You fainted.” You tell him and he sighs “Why? I have been eating well though.” He mutters to himself and you clear your throat, you noticed how his face showed signs of dehydration earlier so you end up asking him a question “Did you drink water?” to which he replies with a “No, why?”
You pinch the bridge of your nose in disbelief, “Water is an essential thing to survive, you fainted because of dehydration.” You explain his situation to him and he lets out an annoyed sigh, “Ugh, why are human bodies so frail and require so much material to sustain oneself?” He grumbles and you stare at him confused.
“Whatever, drink this.” You give your pouch of water and he drinks it greedily unknowingly, emptying the entire sac, he hands it back to you. Aemond tries standing up but immediately stumbles, however you catch him just in time so he doesn't fall. “It seems the dehydration was worse than we thought, my house is nearby, let me take care of you.” You offer him help and he just simply nods, “Lean onto me okay?” You instruct him and he does as you say. You lead him to your house.
It was a small house amidst the woods but not further inside, you opened the wooden door with one hand and pushed it with your foot and led both you and the man inside. You opened the door to your small bedroom and took him inside, helping him lay on the bed.
“Please rest comfortably.” You smile at him and he nods, “I will go and prepare medicinal tea so you can recover.” You inform him before getting up and reaching the exit.
“Wait!” He calls out and you turn around with a questioning look, “May I get your name?” he asks politely and you give him a small smile, “It's Y/N” You tell him and he smiles back at you, “ ‘Y/N’ such a pretty name.” He mutters to himself before looking at you, “Thank you Y/N.” He appreciates you genuinely which makes your heart flutter and you give him a nod. “What is your name?” You ask out of courtesy “Aemond.” He replies with a slight smile and your eyes widen, “Oh like the angel!” You affirm and he nods, “Like the angel, yes.”
“You have such an amazing name, that too it being after God's favourite angel.” You compliment him genuinely and he nods shyly. You take that as a cue to leave the room and prepare the tea for him.
Tying your beige apron; you quickly pull out the jar of dried hibiscus petals from the wooden shelf before taking a few of the petals and grinding them slightly, you added those grinded petals into the bot of boiling water and let it simmer for a minute before blowing off the fire and straining the liquid into a wooden cup.
You carry the hot beverage into the room only to find Aemond asleep, ‘his body must've been overly worked without any water’ you smile to yourself before placing the cup down onto the table, the slight noise startling and waking Aemond up from his slumber.
“Oh I apologise, I did not know that the noise would startle you.” You say in a slightly amused voice and he shakes his head, “It's alright.” he replies. “I bought the tea, you can drink it when it cools down.” You point at the cup on the table next to the bed and he nods, “Thank you.” He appreciates your hospitality.
You give him a small smile and he returns it, and then the room falls silent, awkward tension filling the air. You clear your throat in an attempt to break the tension before speaking up “So… I've never seen you around this area before or in the town, are you new here?” You question him.
“Mhm, I just recently got into this town after hearing the news of famine spreading here.” He answers truthfully, he had been going around the area into multiple villages and towns, solving the famine.
“Ah yes, there has been a shortage of food supplies since our land did not produce any crop this year.” You say sadly, thinking about how all the once healthy people in the town now look starved and unhealthy because of the shortage of food.
Aemond notices your sadness immediately and he grabs your hand, wanting to reassure you but the moment his skin comes in contact with yours, he feels electricity shoot up his spine that makes him retreat his hand immediately.
“Are you okay?” You ask concerned, reaching out for his hand. His breath hitches when you touch him, you examine his hand thinking something happened to it, all the while he's trying to control his breathing.
Why does his body feel hot when you touch him?
He gives you a quick nod and pulls his hand away from your grip and grabs the drink in order for the gesture to not seem rude, but luckily for him you don't dwell on it too much.
“Famines and Drought occur when the devil wants to mess with God, something he does for attention while thousands of people are affected.” Aemond grits his teeth, thinking about the reason why many humans are dying and you look at him confused, “And in these times of difficulty, many forget to pray, because all of their time is spent surviving, which further weakens the protection of the land.” He continues.
“So what do we do?” You ask confused.
“Pray, I was going to go to the centre of the village and start praying so that the rain falls tomorrow, but… I ended up like this.” He says embarrassed.
“Do you think God will really help us?” You question and he's shocked and offended by that question but he holds his composure, “He will. Have faith in him.” He tells you and you nod.
“Since you said you were new, you are free to stay in this house, besides you need to recover as well.” You offer him and his eye widens, “I can't, you've already done too much for me.” He refuses but you shake your head, “It's alright aemond, I was starting to stray from the path of God due to the recent problems, but after meeting you, I'm somehow comforted that everything will be alright, a feeling which I haven't felt since the start of the drought.” You admit honestly and he stares at you in awe.
And so you let him stay in your house.
You and Aemond have gotten undoubtedly closer, realising how you both held the same values and opinions, you helped Aemond spread the word of God and soon just like he said, the rain fell and the land began to recover.
You both were currently looking outside the window as the gentle drizzle of rain fell elegantly outside, making the lush greenery of the trees stand out and the smell of wet mud provided a deep comfort to your soul.
“You were right, Aemond.” You smiled at him and he smiled back, using his angelic powers in his human body exhausts him out, especially since the body of the human is so frail and weak, so he often has to recover in your house, but you just thought that it was because of dehydration like the first time.
You looked outside in awe, meanwhile Aemond stared at you instead, your face extremely beautiful as if you had been specially crafted by God himself, your eyes shone as brightly as the stars in the night sky and your hair that cascaded down your back like a waterfall. He couldn't stop admiring you.
He watched as your lips parted when you let out a satisfied sigh, wondering how they'd taste, would they be sweet as they look? He wanted to taste you.
His eye widened in realisation at his own behaviour and thoughts, mind spiralling down a hole knowing that he shouldn't be thinking this way, his closed his eye and took a deep breath, trying to push off all the feelings away but when he opened his eye back again, he was faced with you who looked at him ever so concerningly.
The warm feeling in his heart only growing stronger each and every moment. “Aemond? Is everything alright?” You ask and he nods, “Yeah everything is fine, it's just..” ‘I wanna kiss you.’ He wants to say it so badly, “I just feel under the weather.” He lies.
He lied.
Aemond never lied.
You find it odd but brush it off and leave the matter at that, focusing on the rain outside once again watching as the droplets trailed down the window.
Aemond feels hot on the inside, a burning sensation of itchiness that urges to be scratched, he excuses himself and goes into the bedroom, saying he needs rest, once again, a lie, he shuts the door to the room and you're left alone in the living space.
Deciding not to think much, you began cooking lunch, making soup for the hundredth time.
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Aemond leans against the door, breathing heavily as his body grows hotter and hotter every moment, there's a weird sensation between his legs that makes it hard for him to focus on anything else, he looks at the bulge in his pants and touches it, wincing at the electricity that shoots through him.
It's painful.
He knows that whatever he's feeling is wrong.
But it's too painful to bear.
He closes his eyes trying to collect himself but he cannot contain himself, and so he slowly grabs the bulge giving it slight squeezes for it to stop the feeling but not enough to make it go away.
Why is the human body like this?
Why couldn't he control his desires like he did when he was in his angel form?
He slowly pushed his hand down the material of the breeches and held his cock, he grips it which makes him choke out a moan at the sensation.
It felt good.
And so he slowly starts stroking it up and down, curiously experimenting by brushing his thumb against the tip which causes him to whimper, he clasps his own mouth shut at the noise he made but doesn't stop stroking himself.
Muffled noises of soft moans fill the room as he touches himself wondering why the feeling isn't going away, he strokes himself faster which causes him to throw his head back against the door with a loud thud.
“... Aemond?” Your voice makes him stop all of his movements, “Y-yeah?” He replies, trying to sound normal, “I'm making soup, is that okay?” You inquired for his opinion and he replied a choked “Yes.”
He hears your footsteps walk away from the door and he continues to stroke himself, the memory of you calling out his name doing wonders to his imagination as he pictures you moaning his name beneath him, he rubs himself faster, grip tightening on his cock envisioning that he's fucking into your cunt instead of his own hand.
And before he can comprehend the imagery; he feels an immense amount of pleasure shoot through his entire body, making him see white and let out a loud muffled moan of your name o as he feels the wet liquid spurt out of his cock and onto his hand.
He's trembling by the time he's done, looking down at his now unclean hand, white liquid dripping down his palm, the situation of what he had done weighing heavily upon him, the feeling of dread seeping into his body- and so he lets out a soft sigh.
What has he done?
He quickly finds a cloth to wipe himself off and uses the water in the bowl beside the table to wash his hands, he sees his own reflection in the water, feeling disgusted at what he had done.
But it felt so good.
He quickly leaves the room to find you crouching down, tending to the fire as you prepare the soup on top of the heated slab. “Need help?” He asks and you flinch, looking at him with a flushed face, “Hm? O-Oh no need.” You look away quickly. He frowns wondering what happened, you stand up and reassure him that nothing has happened and push him towards the table to sit down. You slightly rub your thighs to ease the tension between them.
You couldn't focus; After all- you just overheard what he did inside the room, the muffled moans, the strokes, and when he called out your name. You heard it all.
The wooden doors aren't really good at covering noises.
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A few days passed by quickly after that, the town began to see changes as the crops began sprouting quickly, and soon Aemond's mission was finally completed. Which meant he had to return to the heavens.
But he did not want to.
He actually feels guilty returning to heaven after what he did with his human body.
He was slowly putting his clothes away, ‘packing’ to leave when the door opens which reveals you. Your eyes glance over to the sack of clothes and you quickly realise what's happening.
“You're leaving.” It wasn't a question, but rather a statement which leaves your lips weighed heavily with sadness. Aemond felt something inside him crack as he looked at your solemn expression.
“I have something I want to confess before I leave.” He speaks up and your eyes glint with hope, wondering if he'll confess his feelings to you finally- “I'm an angel.”
“Aemond, now isn't the time to be joking.” You furrow your brows but he shakes his head, coming closer to you and holding your hand, “I am not, I came here on a mission to solve humanity's problems and now I have to return to the heavens.” He can't stop speaking, no matter how much the voice inside him tells him that he shouldn't be revealing his true identity to humans. “Aemond, this is not funny-”
“I'm not trying to be funny, I am not lying, here I'll prove it to you.” He lets go of your hand, and moves to the window, and your eyes widen as the sudden sunny weather darkens and rain begins to fall.
You shall not reveal your identity.
You shall not flaunt your powers.
“Is that enough for you to believe me?” He asks and you're shocked, “Are you really..?” You question and he nods. The air shifts and you realise that you're in a heavenly presence which makes you scared- “Be not afraid.” He tells you and your breath hitches in your throat.
He moves closer to you again, caressing your cheek, “I'm telling you all this because- I don't know, I don't want to leave you behind.” He admits truthfully. “But if you're an angel, then we can’t-” You try to speak, but he cuts you off, “I know.”
“Truth be told, I have no idea what it is about you that made me hold such feelings towards you, but all I know is that I want you, I desire you, I need you.” He grips your shoulders, hands digging into your flesh.
You must not seek out a human.
You must not engage in worldly pleasures.
The atmosphere is filled with silence and tension as you look down, unable to form a sentence as your thoughts feel too complicated to process and Aemond just stares at you.
‘Do it.’ he hears a voice at the back of his head.
‘You want her, so do it.’ It encourages him.
‘If you want her, you must claim her.’ It's evil.
‘But I have to return to the heavens.’
‘Will you truly be happy in heaven?’
‘I'm not sure.’
‘Without her? Will you be able to continue to live without her?’
‘I do not know..’
‘If you do not claim her, she will fall in love with another mortal man, will you be able to stand it? Watch down from the heavens with the realisation that she was never yours?’
‘But I must not, I will soil myself, I do not want to give into the worldly pleasures.’
‘Hah, you're a fool, do as you wish, just remember that once you leave, she will never be yours, she will belong to another man.’
‘Stop.’
‘-She will be touched by another man, kissed, caressed, hugged, all the things you want to do to her'
‘Stop.’ Aemond tries resisting the anger that fills him when he imagines another man touching you.
‘She will get fucked by another man, and you'll watch it happen.’
“That's enough!” Aemond screams which startles you, “Aemond?” He looks at you, and your eyes widen when you realise something in his eye has changed, his pupil resembles that of a reptile. “What's wrong—” You're cut off from your words as he presses his lips against you, electricity courses through your body when you feel his soft lips against yours.
His lips move messily against yours, and he tastes just like honey, you try to resist wanting to tell him that this is wrong, and rationalise that he'll be cast out from heaven if he engages in intimacy with you but you aren't able to form coherent words because of the way he's constantly cutting you off with messy kisses.
“I want you, I need you, I can't let you be with any other man other than me.”
You're conflicted on whether you should encourage this but you remain silent, and aemond takes your silence as an agreement, he slowly slides off his robes and fully shows himself naked in front of you.
He's working on your clothes next, pulling them off you in swift motions before you're left standing bare just like him, he cups your cheek and tilts your face towards him, “Aemond… you'll be punished.” Your voice is laced with concern. “Look at you.. Always concerned for me, it doesn't matter anymore, I've made up my mind.” He pushes you towards the bed and onto it before climbing on top of you.
He places the soft pillow below your head for comfort before he trails soft kisses on your face, down to your neck, breasts and stomach.
“Beautiful, my beautiful lady.” He mutters against your skin, pecking and pulling it between his teeth. “Your body is so beautiful, your frame, everything about it is so beautiful.” He praises peppering kisses being placed on your breasts. He watches in awe as your nipples harden and poke up, and so he wets his lips before opening them and taking your nipple into his mouth, sighing softly in satisfaction.
His tongue swirls around your nipple, playing with the bud and flicking it up and down, the suckling noises that leave his mouth are sinful that makes you wet down there, you grind up against him to feel at ease.
The room begins to get hot and your small gasps and whines fill the air, accompanied by his grunts of satisfaction, that he finally got to touch you like this. He leaves your breast with a pop before focusing his attention onto the other one. “Aemond…” You wail and he looks at you, “... need you down here.” Those words leave your mouth unexpectedly as you rub your clit and he immediately listens to you letting go of your breast.
He travels down until he's directly faced with your cunt, he watches in amusement as your essence drips out of your hold which he licks up and brings up to your clit and suckles on it. “Hggnh!” You arch your back in pleasure as you feel tingles all over your body, your cunt pulsing around nothing when you feel his tongue play with your clit.
He nibbles on your clit, his teeth slightly poking it which makes slight pain shoot up your body. His tongue moves up and down, from your hole to your clit, he sucks on the flaps of your cunt harshly that causes you to whimper.
You feel his finger prodding at your opening before he slowly pushed it inside, “Fuck Aemond!” You let out a whine when you felt how his finger was stretching you out whilst his tongue worked magic on your clit.
He slowly pumped his finger in and out, letting you adjust to it before pushing another one inside which made you shriek but he hushed you with a kiss to your clit, and soon enough- the slow licking of your bud and the pumping of his fingers made you reach your peak. You clenched your eyes shut at the impact of your orgasm; feeling as if your whole body was set on fire, you saw plain white as your whole body quivered because of him.
He pulls his face away and draws back his finger only for him to put his fingers in his mouth, loving the way you tasted. He climbed upward until he was face to face with you and kissed you, making you taste your essence.
“So beautiful.” He says softly as he sees your dazed expression and messy hair, the way your lips are parted slightly as you take deep breaths.
He couldn't contain himself anymore.
He wasted no time in lining himself against your entrance and slowly pushing inside, you gasped when you felt how big he was, but you didn't stop him but instead held onto his shoulder as he pushed it inside inch by inch.
His hair cascaded around his face, making him look angelic, he closed his eye; gasping for air when he felt you clench around him. The way your walls were wrapped around him drove him insane; he couldn't hold back any longer as something in him cracked, his pace was messy and fast, almost desperate as if he was waiting his entire lifetime for this.
The sound of thrusts echo in the room as he speeds up, your back arches in pleasure when you feel him hit a certain spot inside you, his hands grip your waist as a leverage as he constantly thrusts deep and deeper inside you.
He feels like he is in heaven again, the feeling of you finally being his and how you're squirming underneath him, moaning his name, not anyone else's.
“You feel so good.” He grunts, “so fucking good— my love.” he places a kiss on your breast, before looking at you once again, your eyes staring directly at him. The sight of you beneath him, legs wrapped around his waist as you try to grind into him, indicating that you want him too makes him go feral.
His thrusts soon become sloppy, he knows he's gonna finish in mere moments, so he angles his thrusts upwards— hitting your sweet spot multiple times— making you see stars when you peak.
He's almost blinded when he feels his orgasm hit him, the intensity of the sensation being way too much to handle, he lets out a loud moan as he slowly rides out his orgasm all the while pumping you full of his seed.
He pulls out moments later and lays down beside you, trying to catch his breath, and you pull him closer for a hug.
Everything goes quiet for a few moments as you both try to recover.
Only for the silence to be broken by Aemond agonising screams.
“Aemond?” You panic not knowing what's happening.
Aemond feels as though his entire body was on fire, and then the flesh on his back distorts as his white angel wings spring out of it, you stand there in awe when you look at them, they're white feathers, but soon that emotion of amusement is replaced by pure horror when you see it be forcefully get ripped apart from his back by an invisible force of nature.
You scream in terror, while Aemond tries to bear the pain, he knew this would happen sooner or later, but he couldn't help but scream as the pain of having his wings ripped apart and pulled from his back is agonising.
Maybe the curse of being God's favourite was real.
And what Aemond is facing right now is God's punishment for trudging the path of temptation.
“Please- it hurts.” Aemond croaks in agony.
You feel helpless, not being able to do anything except watch, you just cradle his face, his hand grips onto yours tightly.
And soon it's done.
You could only watch as tears dripped down from his eye.
His once beautiful angel wings were ripped apart, the feathers all over the room and the only thing that remained of it were the scars of the wound on his back.
The scar that indicates the two wings were pulled out.
An angel without wings.
A fallen angel.
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— !  ݈݇- thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated greatly ♡
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venusplan · 2 days
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Do you think you could write like a Heian era Sukuna x a very sick! reader? Like reader coughs up blood and sometimes can't even feed themselves. Please and thank you!! Much love 💕💗🧷🎀
a/n :: my first anon :0 tysm! ofc I can. I love Sukuna sm (all my babies are gone)
tw — blood, very sick reader, soft Sukuna(he'd murder us in a heartbeat), fem!reader(sorryyy), fluff + angst!!
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It's told that Sukuna has never had a wife or kids. Though that much is true. Though it's not like he didn't think about marrying a specific person. That person being you. Though, unluckily you had fallen sick. The first signs weren't all that bad. You'd cough every so often. Then blood started to appear. Coughing became hacking. Non-stop coughing and wheezing at night
Sukuna had noticed the signs before but you reassured hm it was nothing, and you just didn't feel good and that it would go away. It didn't and it got worse. The moment he noticed how sick you had fallen he didn't try to leave your side much. Though it was only so far so he could protect you. Truthfully, no one had known of your place with him.
He wanted to keep you safe and protected, until he couldn't. He figured one of maids were sick and caused your sickness. So he killed them all, but not just the maids. The cooks, anyone you could practically be around. New people would come and fill their shoes.
Sometimes he would come into your chambers, having Uraume bringing your food on a sliver platter. Truthfully he never knew what dish would be your last, or if you maybe somehow over come it. Which doesn't seem likely.
He shared every part of his life with you. Just like how you shared yours. Truthfully he loves you, though it was more by actions than words. He wouldn't admit to crying in front of you, hiding it. Not like ever did cry, right?
But maybe he did when you finally passed.
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Maybe he did treat you with more kindness than he ever did. You were more than just a weak human. You were his, maybe more weaker than any of the others. But he had a strong like towards you. Was able to tolerate you.
Sometimes he missed your annoying yapping, the annoying look in your eye when he would look at you. The way you smelt, the way you treated. Maybe he did, but he'd never admit that. You were like his secret.
His love, his most everything. Maybe he did miss you, but he'd never say it out loud.
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worldlxvlys · 2 days
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running
part seven of the CRUSH series
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bsf! matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of sex
a/n -> read the previous part for context !!
ever since the day he apologized, matt had been acting weird. there was a very obvious tension between us, but neither of us said anything about it. his brothers on the other hand, were quick to point it out.
“ok, what’s up with you two? did you fuck again, or something?” chris asked, earning a quick hit and an incredulous look from nick. matt just rolled his eyes, answering with a brief “no”, before turning in the direction he came from.
he was distant and quicker to anger than he usually was. it seemed like the smallest things set him off, he was just so mad. his recent attitude has made me quite distant myself because being around him wasn’t very enjoyable.
he had his moments where he seemed like his usual self, but for the most part, he was miserable. of course i was aware that this was partially my fault, as right after our conversation about the night we slept together his entire demeanor changed.
i felt terrible, and i wanted nothing more than to help him feel better. but i tried to figure out what was wrong, and he just pushed me away. i wanted to be there for him, but he was a grown man at the end of the day. if i did or said something to upset him, he needed to communicate what that was.
so for the past week, we didn’t hang out unless it was with his brothers. we barely spoke two words to each other, and he couldn’t even look at me on the rare occasion that we did. i tried not to let it get to me, but he was supposed to be my best friend. now he couldn’t even be around me ?
MATT’S POV
just when i think i can’t possibly make things worse than they already are, i prove myself wrong. i somehow managed to completely drive y/n away, and now i couldn’t even look at her.
every time i saw her, i felt the shame and guilt eat away at me. i’ve treated her terribly for the past week, and now she couldn’t stand being around me.
at first i just wanted a little bit of distance, because i knew that the second i felt her soft fingers on my face or watched her plump lips pull into a smile, i would be gone. she’s constantly running through my thoughts, and i have no way of stopping it.
every day chris made these sly comments about how i should make a move on her before someone else did, and that pissed me off. his words constantly rang through my ears, and it made me paranoid.
every time she smiled at her phone and typed away at her screen, which was happening a lot more often recently, i got more and more annoyed. i did my best to push it down and ignore it, but it always seemed to make things worse.
whether she was talking to someone or not, she was growing more and more distant by the day. i found myself missing her when she was in the same room as me, which made me realize just how bad i let the situation get.
i decided to go over to her house to talk to her, knowing i had to clear the air. and that’s how i ended up here, standing at her doorstep anxiously, trying to gain the confidence to knock.
before i could force myself to do it, her door swung open. i must’ve looked like a deer in headlights, my eyes widened as she caught me off guard. she let out a chuckle at that, “i saw you on the doorbell camera, i thought i’d just make this easier for you”
well that’s embarrassing. “you saw that whole thing?” i asked, hoping it wasn’t true. when she nodded her head in response, i closed my eyes shaking my head slightly as i cursed myself. “it’s ok, matt. it was cute” she spoke, a small smile on her face.
i felt my face heat up while i prayed she didn’t notice the deep shade of red that my face turned at the comment. “come on” she motioned to the inside of her house, choosing not to comment on my flustered state.
READER’S POV
when i moved to the side to let matt in, i caught sight of a small paper bag in his hand while he passed me. he led the way to my room, pushing my door open and making himself comfortable on my bed.
“i was thinking we do a movie night?” he asked hopefully, emptying the bag of its contents; an array of different candies, snacks, and a drink for each of us.
whenever matt and i had a disagreement, our way of calling a truce was to have a movie night. we would take the time to talk it out and end off the night with cuddles and a movie.
“sounds perfect” i told him, grabbing the remote and moving to sit across from him. i passed him the remote when i felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. i pulled it out, opening it to see a text from the guy i’ve been talking to for the past week.
dylan 🤠
hey beautiful ;)
what are you up to ??
y/n ⭐️
abt to watch a movie with matt !!
“what movie should we watch?” matt asked, but i was barely able to register his words as i read the next text.
dylan 🤠
matt is your best friend right ?? i thought he wasn’t talking to you ??
y/n ⭐️
yeah movie nights are kinda like our way of calling a truce yk ??
dylan 🤠
ohhh i get u
y/n ⭐️
wbu ??
dylan 🤠
oh yk just texting this girl rn
a lil nervous tho ngl, she’s drop dead gorgeous
wayyyy out of my league
“hellooo? you gonna sit there and text all night or are we ever gonna talk?” matt’s annoyed voice pulled my attention away from my phone.
“hold on, i’m talking to someone right now. just give me a sec” i spoke, looking back down to my phone.
y/n ⭐️
who could you possibly be talking about 🤨
dylan 🤠
your mom :)
y/n ⭐️
that wasn’t funny
dylan 🤠
i laughed
y/n ⭐️
well that makes one of us
i watched as the three dots moved on the screen, before my phone was roughly pulled out of my hand. “what the fuck, matt ? give it back” i yelled as he moved it out of my reach.
i quickly moved over to him, climbing over his body to reach for the phone. he was quick to throw my phone onto my carpeted floor, grabbing my wrists before i could move to get it.
“who was that?” he asked, looking up at me. “none of your damn business” i answered. “considering you’re too busy looking down at your phone to talk to me, i’d say it is”
i let out a dry chuckle at that, “now you wanna talk ? that’s new. usually you just bottle up your feelings and throw a hissy fit instead of telling me what the issue is” i spoke, glaring down at him. my phone vibrated on its spot in the floor, but i ignored it.
“why are you trying to pick a fight?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed. “i’m not, this is what it looks like when you act like an adult and talk about things. i know that might be a little foreign to you” i jeered, his face dropping at the comment.
when i heard my phone vibrate again, i went to go pick it up, but was stopped as matt’s hands gripped onto my waist firmly, pulling me down onto his lap.
“look, i obviously hurt you and i’m really sorry for that-” he started, stopping as my phone continued to vibrate on the floor. “who the hell is blowing up your phone like that?” he started, starting to become annoyed again.
“it’s no one” i answered.
“who is it?” he posed his words as a question, but it sounded more like an order.
“nobody”
“why are you lying?” he asked, receiving a sigh from me. he just wasn’t gonna let it go.
“it’s just this guy i’m talking to” i answered. before i could even process what was happening, matt had flipped us over so that he was the one one top.
“what’s his name?” matt asked, his hands tightly clenching the sheets on either side of my head. my eyes trailed down to his tatted arm, watching as it flexed when he shifted his weight onto it.
“his name doesn’t matter” i answered, willing myself to look anywhere but at his lips. it was tempting, the short distance between us making it hard to focus on anything else.
“is there anything you can tell me about him?” matt asked.
“yeah. he’s not confused.” i answered without thinking, the words slipping out before i could stop them. “he’s made his feelings for me clear” i finished.
“his feelings? he’s only known you for…what, a week?” he asked, tilting his head at me. “he knows what he wants matt” i shrugged, “do you?” i asked.
the question seemed to catch him off guard, as he didn’t utter a word. instead, his eyes dropped down to my lips for a split second, jumping back to my own eyes quickly.
“don’t do that” i stopped him, “don’t look at me like you want to kiss me. we both know you don’t” i told him, turning my head away from him.
he was quick to place his hand on my cheek, moving my face so i was looking at him while he spoke. “why would you think that?” he asked, his eyes softening.
“why would you keep running away from me if you did?” i asked, trying my best not to show how hurt i actually was. i blinked back the tears i felt beginning to form, taking a deep breath.
matt picked up on my shift in mood, immediately moving to sit next to me. “fuck, i’m sorry. i’m sorry” he whispered repeatedly, pulling me into a hug. “it’s not on purpose, i swear. and it’s definitely not your fault, the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt you” i cried silently in his arms, his hands squeezing my waist tightly.
he pulled away to look at me, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “is there something wrong with me?” i asked, needing an answer to the question i’d been asking myself constantly throughout the week. why? why was he avoiding me like the plague? what did i do to deserve this?
“of course not. this is my fault, it’s not you. i’m just confused and i have no clue what to do. i don’t know what i want, and i didn’t know how to deal with-” he stopped abruptly, like he was about to slip up and say something he didn’t want me to hear.
“i just didn’t want to hurt you while i was figuring out my shit, so i distanced myself from you. i know it was wrong, but i didn’t know what to do. and then i realized you were talking to someone and it just made me so mad, but i shouldn’t have taken it out on you”
“you’re jealous? matt, it’s not like he’s replacing you. he’s just a new friend” i pointed out. “i’m right here, i’m still your best friend. and you can always talk to me about anything. you know that, right?” i asked.
“yeah, i know. but are you sure you’re just friends? you said he has feelings for you” matt spoke, looking down as he spoke the last sentence. “is he the only one?” i asked bluntly, tired of beating around the bush.
matt’s head snapped up at the call-out, his lips turning upwards into a small smile. “i-” he was cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket. he looked like he wanted to continue, but i stopped him, “just answer it, it’s ok” i nodded to him, watching him pull it out.
“it’s chris” he sighed out, before hitting the answer button. while he spoke to chris, i heard my own phone vibrate on the ground. i glanced over to matt, who was fully engrossed in his conversation, before grabbing it off of the floor.
i opened it to several unopened texts from dylan, but the last one is what stood out to me;
dylan 🤠
hey, you home? i’m at your door ;)
what the fuck? he knew i was home, i told him that matt and i were having a movie night.
i glanced over to matt, as he hung up the phone. “he was just asking if i wanted anything from target” he informed me, putting his phone down.
he noticed my widened eyes, his face filling with concern, “what’s wrong?” he asked, walking towards me and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“um, my….uh-” i was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. “here, i’ll get it for you” he spoke, walking out of the room before i could stop him.
“wait, matt-” i started, a few feet behind him. by the time i caught up to him, the door was already open, matt and dylan were face-to-face with each other.
“hey, i’m dylan. you must be matt” he almost seemed amused at matt’s confused face.
“hey, baby” he spoke to me, earning a cold stare from matt as he realized who the man in front of him was. his jaw was clenched tightly as he turned his gaze to me, his eyebrows raised.
shit.
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hehehe
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
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leaawrites · 3 days
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Silence and Peace
Percy Jackson x fem!reader
Summary: Y/n doesn't like Percy very much, until one quiet night changes everything.
Warnings: use of Y/n, female reader, kinda suggestive, no specific cabin,
Wordcount: 1.8k
I'm back! If you have any requests or whatever, send them in! Though I might need a while to finish stuff right now :(
Btw, thinking of making a part 2 of this? What do you think?
Masterlist
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In the quiet hours of Camp Half Blood, when all campers were asleep and nobody could disturb her peace, Y/n sat on the beach. Watching the waves crash against the shore longingly like they were her second home. She watched the ocean come and go. She watched the sand cover her feet and making her sink deeper every time a wave came to her. For her, that was freedom. Long hours of silence. A peace so immaculate nobody could blame her for it. Nobody could make her drown in agony in those moments.
Not even Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon. The boy who watched her from afar one night and couldn’t look away ever since. He watched her helping other campers with a mesmerizing look in his eyes. One that screamed at everyone walking past, “that is gonna be my girl.”
And if she loved the ocean so much, she would love him the same, right? Wrong. She wasn’t his girl. She never even though about being his girl. He was always just Percy Jackson. The boy who bullied her for being older but still smaller than him. It wasn’t even that much of time between them. Seven months. Seven months was enough for him to make fun of her. Because Percy had no idea how to get a girls attention otherwise.
So that was his plan. Make her hate him if that was the only way for him to talk to her. Stupid boy.
Percy was stupid; you could ask about a dozen people and they would agree. He wasn’t dumb, but stupid. That kind of stupid that would get defeated by Annabeth after being distracted by a girl walking by. That kind of stupid that would stumble over his own feet when she approached him to complete her duties at camp. That kind of stupid that walked over to her one night and sat down next to her with nothing but static silence and the rapid sound of his heartbeat in his head. He was stupid in love.
“Why do you always watch the ocean but never go in?” He asked, scaring the girl and making her look at him wide eyed.
“I-” she began talking before shutting up. Every time she saw him, she prepared herself to get a snarky remark out of his mouth instead of a civil conversation. Though now he talked to her like a normal person. He talked to her like they were friends. “What are you doing here?”
Percy chuckled, averting his eyes from the moon towards her. Eyes sparkling, a kind of tiredness filling his face. “I don’t think you should be the one asking.”
It wasn’t meant mean. It wasn’t meant harmful in any way. However Y/n received enough comments with the same tone to roll her eyes and look away from him in annoyance. In her head, he wasn’t there to keep her company or even - dare I say - comfort. He was only there to annoy and tease her.
“Look, Percy, I was really enjoying my peace before you came, so maybe, would you be so kind, and leave me alone. Just this once. In the morning you can say whatever you wanna say to me, just not tonight,” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and letting her head rest on them, her voice tired and stifled.
Percy looked at the girl like she was going insane. Like somehow she murdered three people and wasn’t afraid for him to be the next. Which, Percy assumed, probably was one thought in her head at the moment. Even when he could never imagine her doing harm to anyone or anything. She was the smart, kind, classy girl in camp. The sweet, blooming field of flowers that everyone adored. Him included. He adored her.
“You know, when I’m seeking peace at night, I also visit the ocean,” he told her, making her look up at him. She was surprised he was still sat next to her, talking in tranquility. It felt foreign, yet normal in a fascinating sense to her. A person can be so different at night. Or was it only because he was at peace now? “Lately it felt like I visited a girl as well.”
It took her a moment, but then she understood what he meant. This wasn’t the first time he came here. It was, however, the first time he made himself known, which surprised her. When you think of Percy Jackson the first adjectives would be sarcastic, extroverted and brave not shy, calm and soft. At least not to her.
“You were watching me?” She asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and, what Percy assumed to be disgust, but actually it was surprise. Y/n was surprised that he seemed interested in her.
“I also like to swim, but that wasn’t possible since you occupied the ocean’s attention for most of the time,” he told her, sighing in acted sadness.
Y/n laughed at his terrible performance, making him smile in return. “You should’ve just walked past. I would’ve been gone in a second if I knew it was you.”
Something in that sentence made Percy’s heart drop. Maybe it was the face that she would’ve been gone. Or maybe it was because she would’ve been gone because it was him. Anyway, something about it made him uncomfortable in his own skin.
“You also could’ve stayed,” he told her, not looking at her, missing the soft smile and tender look dancing in her eyes. “Bet you wouldn’t have minded seeing me without a shirt.” There it was. The comment she waited for, combined with the smirk she knew all too well. Percy was terrible at flirting and she wouldn’t have said what she eventually did if they hadn’t been all alone at this hour.
“Maybe I wouldn’t have.”
Percy’s mouth stood open with surprise, while she shrugged nonchalant and bit her lower lip to suppress a laugh that wanted to escape her so badly. The boy wasn’t used to her actually jump on the joke and tease him back, though he couldn’t deny that he somehow liked it.
After a moment of thinking, he took his chance. Pulling his shirt over his head and making his way towards the water, he turned to her with a smirk. “Well, if that’s the case.”
Y/n wanted to watch the beach, she came specifically to this place to do just that. Watch the waves and the shore and the sky and the moon. Though now her eyes were focusing on something else. She watched Percy dip in the water, breaking the surface, with such gentleness, she wanted him to touch her just the same. She watched him swim for a bit. Watched him look at her and act like he was being attacked to get a laugh out of her. His head sticking out of the water to watch her reaction. When he saw her enjoying his company for once, he smiled back. It was nice knowing to be the reason for one’s happiness. Especially someone you wanted to make happy every day.
As he came back, Y/n tried to keep her focus on the moon, only betraying her quest when Percy sat down next to her again. Shirt still laying next to him.
Percy turned his head, only in time to catch her eyes traveling over his now shivering body. The night air hitting his skin with discomfort.
“You should put your shirt back on or you’re gonna get sick,” she said, looking at him. Her eyes catching a water drop sliding down his face and following it. He ignored her comment but still put his shirt back on.
“When you said that you would’ve gone if I was to just walk past and into the water, was that only because of me or would you have gone if any other person would’ve been in my position?” He asked her, making her look away from him again. She didn’t answer though Percy knew the answer now. “You don’t like me very much.”
“It’s hard to like you, when you constantly try to embarrass me,” she said, finally. Finally she didn’t just walk past him, ignoring his comments like they weren’t meant for her. Though it was obvious to everyone.
“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Percy admitted. Grover was right, he thought.
After he finally told someone about his crush on the girl, Grover was quick to educate him that that wasn’t the way to get a girlfriend. “I was just trying to get your attention,” he admitted quietly.
Y/n laughed at that, her hand over her mouth. “Why would you want my attention?” She asked him.
“What?” Percy didn’t understand how that seemed so impossible to the girl next to him.
“Percy, be serious. You couldn’t possibly want my attention so bad. I mean, why would you? You have the attention of all the girls, why mine?”
Percy had never been so mad at himself and at her too. He wanted to tell her that he was just joking. He wanted to tell her that he had no idea why he wanted her. But the truth was he knew. He laid awake enough nights asking himself the same question. Then again, he was mad at her for thinking that. He was mad again at her that she couldn’t see all what he saw in her in herself.
“I like you, okay? I really do. I like the way you talk kindly to everyone and I like your smile and your cleverness. I like that you’re always there for everyone and that you listen to me even though I’ve been horrible to you,” he told her it all. Everything that he thought about he told her. “I like your bubbly personality and how you can’t seem to stand normal after staying up for a moment. I like how messy you are and yet put together. I like your face and your eyes and you. I like you for how you are.”
“Well, Jackson, your strategy isn’t really good. I mean, teasing a girl to get her attention usually just works in books,” she told him.
Percy couldn’t believe it. He just poured her a cup of his heart and she decides to dump it into the ocean.
“But this is nice,” she eventually added. “I like this side of you. The quite and vulnerable one. The one who’s flirty and sarcastic in a lovable way. The one who fakes his death to make me laugh.”
“What does that mean now?” Maybe she didn’t dump it all in the ocean. Only a part of it. The part she didn’t like.
“It means that if you show me more of that side, I could eventually start liking you too. Would that be alright?” She asked hoping for a yes and a agreement from him.
She got more though. She got a relieved ‘yes’, a promise and a smiling and blushing boy.
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solecize · 1 day
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  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (4)
ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a party at the notorious hotel azure, the hot-spot for the top names of south korea's entertainment industry, goes awry. in front of everyone, your relationship reaches it's breaking point - except, it doesn't. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. extra warning for heavy substance abuse in this chapter - the usage of this is not meant to be glamourized in any way. i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, so please note the underlying commentary on idol life and substance use. as someone who has been diagnosed with substance use disorder, i encourage learning about its complexities and ending stigma around it. there is also a quick note at the end of the chapter regarding its ending. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next
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you might just have dealt the final blow stop, you’re losin’ me
TOP HEADLINE TODAY: big hit entertainment releases a trailer on official youtube channel, announcing bts’ upcoming world tourㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤapril 2018
  two years made a night and day difference in your relationship. after the highs and lows that brought several short-term breakups, 2018 was supposed to be your and jungkook’s year. it was a fresh start and the turn of your early twenties was the world at your fingertips. young, beautiful and wealthy - it was a dream for any idol in south korea. 
  a fresh start wasn’t always easy when skeletons lurked in your closet, though. watching your boyfriend pace back and forth in his kitchen, a glass of whiskey on the rocks at hand, jungkook looked completely different. you weren’t sure if you’d finally snapped out of the daze that framed him as a teenager, bursting with energy, but things hadn’t been the same in a long time.
  “yeah, y/n is coming with me,” you heard him say, your ears perking up at the sound of your name. it was hard to read his tone, but something told you that the person on the other end was surprised at his statement.
  he finally noticed that you walked into the room, having finished slipping on your coat. jungkook sighed, tilting back the last of his drink and telling the person on the phone that he had to go. his furrowed eyebrows were telling enough that he was annoyed with you.
  “what? i only took an hour,” you said, walking over from the doorway of his bathroom.
  jungkook rolled his eyes. “an hour after the party started. let’s get going, the boys said they’re waiting for us,” he complained. “you’re the one who insisted on coming with me, anyway.”
  at that, you didn’t say anything because you knew it would only escalate into an argument. jungkook had been recently accusing you of being overly controlling when it came to hanging out with his friends, which led to an invite to tonight’s party to be extended to you, as well. 
  however, parties at places like hotel azure were now a routine for you and jungkook, which was one of the only things that was constant against change in the past two years. with fame came notoriety and after clawing your way up the social ladder amongst the country’s musical elite, invitations to galas and lounges and the vip section of the club came left and right. everyone now knew you as one of the idol power couples behind the curtain and your respective presences were expected at events. 
  a molasses-like tension sat in the air when it came to this. although you and jungkook were known as one, it wasn’t easy to ignore jungkook’s individual stardom that garnered mass attention. his biggest supporter, you loved this for him - until you didn’t. he would jet off to tokyo and shanghai to party with a-listers and meet new people everywhere he went. he was rising before your very eyes and you couldn’t help but feel left behind.
  “did you not tell them we got back together?” you suddenly asked, trailing out the front door with an impatient jungkook.
  he only shrugged. it was hard to keep up when you and jungkook had taken several sporadic “breaks” over the last year. as a couple, you showed your best and smiled in front of everyone. however, your friends were the ones who would witness arguments in the corner of the room or furious frenzies of text arguments whilst working. 
  it was hard to manage a relationship that was akin to a fire - passionate, but ready to set ablaze at all times. 
  you weren’t sure how you and jungkook got to this point. you were no longer kids who only had each other. it could’ve been so many things - age, fame, money. there were other underlying issues that came with all these things. after all, by the time you were sat in the car, the first flask was already finished between you and him.
  the drive to hotel azure was a blur and before you knew it, you were taking shots with kim yoojung and suzy in the penthouse suite. jungkook had walked away with his friends upon entering the party and it was already a lost idea to find him. you exchanged few words on the way to the venue, as he seemed to still be frustrated with you for a variety of reasons.
  besides, it was a jackson wang party. the suite was filled to the brim with the who’s who of the entertainment industry, all mingling and dancing in an exalted existence that only celebrities enjoyed. others were outside at the rooftop pool, basking in the first of the year’s warm air. there were too many things going on at once.
  the only warmth you were concerned with was the hot sensation spreading throughout your body from hennessy. “how’s the filming of your new show?” you asked suzy, who was now flushed from the round of drinks.
  “exhausting. how’s the recording of your new album?” she sighed.
  “exhausting.”
  a murmur of agreement ensued. that was why everyone was gathering - an escape from the fastlane of their lives. the industry was draining and every forced smile for the cameras only weighed heavier on someone.
  “that nct member your boyfriend is friends with was passing out xans,” warned yoojung, poking your side.
  a year ago, you would have made a scene. now jaded and long given up on trying to knock some sense into him, you peeked over yoojung’s shoulder to check out the hallway ahead. turning back to the other two women, you already made up your mind.
  “the bathroom over there is free,” was all you had to say and with you swiping your clutch off the counter, they knew what you were thinking. they knew what was in its contents.
  you had to - it was a jackson wang party. ironically, you were never able to recall actually seeing jackson at his parties. really, you weren’t able to recall much in general the day after for certain reasons and tomorrow was looking no different when you busted out of the bathroom minutes later, giggling and brushing off your clothes. at the very least, you knew that you weren’t looking out of place, especially if what yoojung said was true. everyone in the room could afford the best to use, so why wouldn’t they?
  “we should go to the pool!” 
  it didn’t take much convincing for you to be dragged outside, as the high was settling in and you suddenly became a social butterfly. the three of you arrived poolside, where you were greeted by more of your peers. you wouldn’t call them your friends. 
  the exception was jimin, who you were surprised to see. he was very amicable and well-liked amongst social circles, but wild parties were never quite his scene. some of jungkook’s group mates had an affinity for nights out, but you and jungkook attended a specific genre of parties that the others didn’t vibe with on the regular.
  you smiled a little too wide. “jimin!”
  the group you approached sat poolside on a couch, as jimin scooted over to make room for. you barely fit, but he made sure to make it work for one of his best friends’ girlfriend. stumbling a bit when you squeezed past others’ knees, he offered his arm to help steady you.
  “hey, y/n. jungkook went somewhere else?” he asked slowly, examining your face. 
  jimin had a beer in his hand and appeared significantly more sober than the other partygoers, who were now immersed back into their previous conversation after your arrival. suzy and yoojung were laughing with the others, probably now too high and drunk to even remember that they walked over with you. meanwhile, jimin had his jacket on, as if he was right about to leave until you came outside. his mind was changed when he saw how wasted you were.
  you looked around, hoping the fresh air would help you focus. “mmm, yeah. think he’s with jaehyun.”
  it didn’t. it also felt like hours since you last spotted your boyfriend, but you were having fun. however, that wasn’t what jimin was concerned about.
  “you’re doing okay?” jimin questioned, a frown tugging at his lips. 
  if it wasn’t someone like jimin who knew you well, it wouldn’t be so obvious that you were now quite inebriated. your giggles were a little too loud and you would never stumble in high heels sober. 
  when you didn’t answer, jimin finished the last of his drink and set it on the table in front of you before standing up. there was a glint of worry in his eyes. 
  he said, “stay right there. i’m going to get you some water and find jungkook.”
  truthfully, you didn’t want him to locate your boyfriend, but jimin was already off. you huffed some hair out of your face. you didn’t think you were in that bad of a shape. 
  now that there was room on the couch, you were able to move over. when jimin left, you noticed that the girl next to you was watching the interaction the entire time. she was young and the doe-like expression on her face read that this was her first time at hotel azure. she was dressed to the nines and carried herself with energy.
  “hi, you’re nova!” it was more of an exclaimation than a question, when she smiled at you.
  your mood dampened at this. you did not have time to be entertaining whatever lucky rookie idol she was, probably scoring a luky invite. you also despised being called your stage name when you weren’t in front of a camera or fans. however, you put on your best plastered on smile.
  “hi. you are?” you asked, wanting to try to be polite.
  she ignored it. “wow, so it’s true then?” she asked. “you’re dating jungkook! and you were just talking to jimin, you must be so close with all of bts!”
  it was like an immediate headache onset, as you tried not to wince at her nearly screaming into your ear. the music was loud, but not that loud. at least she acknowledged you first, some people often went all in by just talking about jungkook. you would have engaged in actual conversation with her if she didn’t ignore your first attempt.
  “y/n, try this!”
  a red solo cup was pushed in front of your face and you didn’t think twice about taking a sip. anything to not hear the girl drone on about your boyfriend. it was sour and medicinal at the same time, causing you to make a face. the actor who passed it to you chuckled, as you gave it back.
  you coughed. “that was disgusting.”
  for some reason, the smell of the drink alone made your head hurt. you mumbled an ‘excuse me’ at the young idol, who was still talking about bts the entire time that interaction with the drink happened, and got up. your legs were weak. 
  for a while, you were walking around with no purpose, observing those around you blankly. when the drinks and the drugs and the desire to fit in faded away, it was boring. 
  you wondered if you actually liked being at these parties or if you were there just because. the “just because” could have been anything - just because it was expected by your circle, just because it was the only way to let out steam from the demands of your job. maybe even. . .just because of jungkook.
  “looking for your boyfriend?”
  at some point, you wandered over to the shadowy corner of the rooftop, where someone was smoking a joint. you tried your best to recall his name, as you’d just been on a variety show with him, but the best you could do was remember that he was a member of winner. you winced at yet another mention of jungkook, but ignored it again.
  he held the joint out as an offer and you accepted without hesitation, letting the smoke fill your insides. it was easy to ignore the burn in your throat when you’d already been putting random substances into your body since the night began.
  “not really,” you admitted, though you did scan the crowd when you did.
  he cocked an eyebrow. “oh? aren’t you two always hand in hand at these things?” he made a gesture, referring to the party as a whole.
  a year or two ago, you would have spent the entire party on jungkook’s lap and exclusively mingled and drank from that same spot. as time went on and jungkook began attending parties and clubs without you, it was a growing occurrence that you began doing your own thing when you appeared with him.
  “dunno,” was all you could say, not wanting to talk more about it.
  it appeared that he got the hint, dropping the subject of jungkook. instead, he failed to hide the once over he made of your appearance and you fought a shiver. you felt like you were naked under his stare, as your skin-tight maxi dress didn’t leave much to the imagination. you never felt unsafe to wear what you wanted on a night out - albeit, your boyfriend was usually with you.
  “you cold? want my jacket, sweetie?” he asked, sugar lacing every one of his words.
  that’s when you became alert, despite your body’s lack of sobriety working against you. he had taken a half-step towards you and you instantly stepped backwards. you’d never been so uncomfortable, but it was a struggle to steady yourself.
  you mustered up some solidity in your voice. “no. you can back up now,” you said, handing the joint back to him. “thanks.”
  he didn’t get the hint. “then, do you wanna go inside with me? where’s it’s warmer?”
  the smirk on his face sent off alarms in your head, as you continued to walk away, he still remained close to you when you did. 
  “i said i’m good. you’re getting weird, so back up,” you repeated, eyes darting around to see if anyone would step in.
  instead, everyone was still lost in their own worlds. some people were laughing away, trashing the bar on the other end of the rooftop. the people you were with on the couch were taking shots. nobody was noticing the interaction between you and this man.
  when he took a firm grip on your arm, you thought you were about to throw up. you noticed that you hadn’t even been walking straight and when you blinked, he was already in front of you. your words couldn’t find themselves when you saw double everywhere you turned. you were fucked and you couldn’t even defend yourself.
  then, it happened.
  when you jumped at the sound of a sudden impact, you thought that you were the one who fell down. but, there was no pain. there was a round of gasps. there was yelling. there was a body on the ground and it was the man’s.
  “are you fucking crazy?! don’t you put your dirty ass hands on her ever again or i’ll kill you with my bare hands, asshole!”
  the voice belonged to jungkook. it was the first time you’d seen him all night. he was standing over the man’s body, yelling further profanities at him. you saw red - both on his knuckles and in his bloodshot eyes. 
  you let out a scream when the man suddenly got to his feet, lunging at jungkook. this was when others ran in, straining to peel their two bodies away from each other. 
  people stopped to watch, but it was almost dystopian to see that some didn’t even care. they continued taking shots and smoking their joints. it was a daze of glimmer and drugs that only existed in the penthouse suite of hotel azure - where the rich and famous didn’t have time for scuffles. 
  “jungkook, stop!” you screeched, your voice cracking and tears welling up in your eyes.
  it took three people to pull jungkook alone, as others also came to the rescue of the other man. jaehyun and yugyeom each clutched onto one of jungkook’s arms, while bambam stood between the two. it looked like they had all chased jungkook from inside the penthouse, who had slammed the sliding door open.
  when jungkook picked up a glass beer bottle in his rage, you almost ran in yourself. he’d swatted jaehyun and yugyeom’s grips away to do so. thankfully, it was jimin who dashed in to swipe the object away from jungkook’s grasp, before the situation escalated to disastrous.
  if jimin didn’t wrestle the weapon out of jungkook’s hands, it would have been detrimental beyond saving. 
  “you piece of shit!” snarled the man, who spat in jungkook’s direction. “your little girlfriend should know how much of a piece of shit you are, too!”
  at that, you froze. jungkook only narrowed his eyes at him, as if daring him to continue. the next few moments didn’t seem real. his friends took the opportunity to take hold of him again, now with bambam joining in and trying to talk some sense into him.
  “kook, calm down. seriously, you need to just - “
  jungkook shot back, ignoring bambam. “you better shut your fucking mouth.” through gritted teeth, he kept urging for jaehyun and yugyeom to let go of him, which they thankfully didn’t.
  he only chuckled and your heart dropped when he turned to you. “nah, you must already know he’s a piece of shit. you must be cool with that and with the fact that he’s fucking his backup dancer.”
  what he said was loud and clear, but you didn’t even register it. you thought you were dreaming. you didn’t know what to do.
betrayal had a funny effect on people and on you, it was seething fury.
  if you were sober, it would have been your turn to lunge at someone. you considered it and decided that it wasn’t a bad idea. taking off your heels and making strides towards the man, nobody expected you to clock the man right in the jaw. he yelped, stumbling backwards from the impact. in your state, you only just realized that you’d actually hit him with one of your shoes.
  “that was for me, you creep,” you hissed, as he cussed loudly at his now bloody nose. 
  you even pondered pushing him into the pool, but decided it wasn’t worth it. the adrenaline in your veins - and whatever other substances were in there - wasn’t enough to distract you from the pit in your stomach from what the man said. something in you didn’t even consider the possibility of it being untrue - your gut told you otherwise. 
  you stared at jungkook, searching for any rebuttal. however, you knew the look on his face. it was the truth. not once did jungkook even try to dispute the accusation. your anger died down now and you were left feeling like you were floating. this couldn’t be real.
  it was now jungkook’s turn to stand frozen. you didn’t have time for this or for him. even his friends were frozen and you didn’t know what emotions were on their faces. shocked, but at what? that he was cheating on you or that he just got exposed? reality was beginning to sink in and the only thing you knew was that you needed to get out of there. you thought you looked like the biggest joke in the world, whether his friends knew about it or not.
  “what do you think you’re doing? go after her!” 
  that was jimin’s voice, horrified that his friend was just passively watching you run out of there. jungkook finally made a sprint for it. you’d pushed past several people and jungkook didn’t catch up to you until you reached the elevator.
  your vision was waning and the source could have been either the situation or your body finally giving up on you from what you had consumed all night. you needed to sit down. hurriedly, you jammed the button to close the elevator door, but a hand stuck out to force it open.
  jungkook was pleading. “y/n, just one second - “
  “no, get away from me.”
  “look, let’s talk! please!” he cried, trying to enter the elevator with you.
  at this point, you were shoving him away. you didn’t care, you needed him out of your face before you began crying. he wasn’t fighting back at all, letting you continuously push him, but didn’t move an inch. 
  “you’re scum to me,” you growled, eventually giving up and tripped backwards from your own force.
  the elevator closed and for thirteen long floors, it was just you and him in that one space.
  “please, let’s communicate - isn’t that what you always wanted for us?” jungkook said and did his best to get you to meet his eyes. “bug, come o -”
  the fire in your eyes was nothing like he’d ever seen before from you. “don’t you dare call me that ever again!” 
  bug was his special name for you, short for lovebug. you used to get upset when he would call you your full name over bug. in that moment, it sickened you to hear it.
  everything began clicking in your head. the way he rarely called you when he was on tour. the slow buildup of disinterest in your wellbeing. going to places that he always went to without you. being secretive of what he was doing on his phone. this behaviour multiplied recently and with another world tour for bts lined up, you now knew why.
  jungkook was living an entirely different life away from you. you just thought he would never have it in him. not the kind and sweet jungkook you met all those years ago.
  you ripped off the tennis bracelet from your wrist, which jungkook had given you for your eighteenth birthday. a look of defeat rested on his face when you hurled it at him, which he didn’t even bother to dodge. he knew he deserved it. 
  the elevator dinged and you made a beeline for the first door you saw. you weren’t even running, but jungkook dashed to meet you there. you let out a cry of frustration when he stood right in front of you, blocking the entrance. 
  “move or you’ll regret it.”
  he ignored you and you instead side-stepped away, using all your energy to exit through the next door before jungkook could realize. he tried blocking you again, but only caught a bit of your force because you were too fast.
  the entire time this was happening, you’d been trying to dial someone, anyone. none of your group mates were answering. you didn’t have any friends that weren’t at the party upstairs. the last resort was your manager, who you were about to call, when jungkook stood in front of you again.
  “y/n, please. i’ll get on my knees if i have to,” jungkook begged and you could see that he was fighting tears. “please, i just want to talk.”
  however, you could also see that jungkook was far from sober. he was in a worse state than you were. a bruise was to soon form on his jaw and his hair was disheveled. it was the lowest you’d ever seen him.
  for a split second, you tried. you wanted to try and see the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. you searched and searched. 
  “what? i’ve asked you for years to communicate in this relationship and it only becomes important after you cheat on me?” 
  jungkook knew he was defeated, but he still looked at you with those same pleading eyes. “i know i don’t deserve you - “
  “i don’t even recognize you!” you interrupted. “i don’t even know who you are!”
  both of you knew that you were right. something went wrong along the way. you were barefoot and exhausted, no longer with light in your eyes. jungkook was pitiful and lost - lost in his fame, in the parties, and from you. 
  that night at hotel azure should have been the end. the storybook fairytale should have been over. in that moment, you would have even moved as far as you could and ran away from the dread of the life you were living. you gave up that night.
  unfortunately, in the craze of the night’s events and the substances swimming in your bodies, both you and jungkook forgot who and where you were.
  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: breaking news! dispatch releases exclusive photos of bts’ jungkook and s.iren’s nova, reveals that they are dating
  you’d been in the big hit company building countless of times over the years, but would have never imagined yourself sitting in their board room with their most senior executives. to make matters worse, several high-ranking representatives from your company sat in the same room, including your ceo and your own manager. at the head of the table were you and jungkook, both stone-faced and unable to look at each other. 
  entering the room, you considered yourself all alone. your manager was pissed off at you. your group mates hadn’t spoken to you since the news broke, except for sooah. she only warned you to make sure that nobody knew you were high when it happened. the last thing the group needed was an additional scandal where their main vocalist gets sentenced to prison for possession. and, of course, you now had no boyfriend. there was nobody there for you.
  “they’ve been building evidence for a long time now, clearly.”
  to make matters more humiliating, the company executives were broadcasting the dispatch article on the big screen in front of everyone. the head of public relations, mr. lee, swiped through each photo released like a slideshow.
  the first picture was you and jungkook outside of your building complex. another was a sneaky shot that barely captured you and jungkook in the same taxi. it went on and on, until the last photo that depicted you and jungkook standing in front of hotel azure, which was less than twenty-four hours ago at this point. 
  after escaping the party and jungkook, you spent the rest of your night crying and throwing up at home. it was late when you left and you knew you couldn’t sleep a wink after what transpired. you tried your very best and it was seven in the morning when you thought your eyes were finally closing, until your phone began blowing up. 
  at first, it was just your manager and you didn’t want to hear about how she found out that you were partying late again. then, not even an hour after, your social media began blowing up with notifications. 
  i was trying to warn you, the last text from your manager read. you realized what she was talking about, as dispatch probably gave the “courtesy” to inform the company before the article went out. 
  you thought about your group members, feeling nothing but guilt. you saw what happened to other female idols, whose dating scandals tarnished their “sisterhood” with their members forever. you were terrified of that happening to you.
  now, you sat in this suffocating board room, still hungover, and your entire future at stake. the only thing you felt regretful about was not just the impact of your choices on both your group members, but the rest of jungkook’s. they were one of the, if not the, most popular groups in the country.
  while the room went over the pictures that were released, you were silent. you long understood the consequences of the relationship and accepted the risk. when the scandal actually broke, though, the fear you felt was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. on the other hand, jungkook was only apologizing profusely and was in tears. you didn’t realize it until then, but there were also streams of tears running down your face. 
  you weren’t sure what the main reason for your tears were. something told you that you’d yet to process the grief of jungkook’s betrayal because sitting next to him felt numb. last night, only anger settled underneath your skin. now, being inches away from the man you called your best friend and partner for years, you felt nothing. it was almost an out-of-body experience. 
  the only way to not replay every single moment he was with her and not you, was to repress the grief. you pretended like it was invisible and out of reach. with that, you figured the tears were for the innocent third parties that were going to be dragged down by the scandal - the executives in the room, jungkook’s group, your group, all of them.
  “quit crying! we have no choice, there’s too much evidence - we must publicly confirm the relationship.”
  you took a deep breath. right now, you had yet to actually tell anyone that you and jungkook were no longer together. a part of you was too embarrassed to admit that you were cheated on. you also figured that word from the scene at the rooftop party likely already spread throughout social circles. you decided to swallow it down and finally say it aloud.
  this was the first time that you spoke up. “but,” you started, “jungkook and i. . .we broke up last night.”
  the last thing you expected was a round of laughter. you thought you were imagining it, but when you looked up, the board members were indeed doing so. you were suffering enough, but now you were getting laughed at. your fists were balled up underneath the table.
  “are you kidding me?” mr. lee said. “i don’t care. years ago, you and jungkook agreed that, should your relationship be exposed, you would face the repercussions of its reception.”
  “mr. lee - “ jungkook started, but was hushed by his company executives.
  when mr. lee tapped on his laptop again and cut to the comments section of the article, you thought you would see hate comments. death threats, even. but, you were stunned to face waves of positivity. 
  the tone he used, though, was devoid of any. “oh, i love this couple so much,” mr. lee began reading the comments in a monotone voice that only made the situation feel even more of a joke. “wah. they. are. such. a. beautiful. couple. i’m not even mad.”
  you swore your eyes were deceiving you. stealing your first glance at jungkook since walking into the room, he, too, was shocked and his jaw hung low. 
  “talk about a power couple, congratulations! here, someone said: hope this is true, nova is luckiest girl in the world - love this. then, a bunch of good luck’s, and blah, blah, blah.”
  there was a wave of anger when most of the comments called you the lucky one and not once the other way around.
  regardless, the reception of international fans was generally uplifting, which was no surprise to you. what really got to you was that it didn’t stop there - the screen scrolled past dozens and dozens of korean comments that exemplified full support towards the relationship. this was a true mark of positive reception, as they were the fans you feared the most.
  as the years went on and jungkook rose in popularity, you became increasingly nervous about your relationship. you watched so many of your peers receive horrible backlash from fans after being exposed for dating, especially the women. being a female in the industry was hard enough and you weren’t sure if you were going to be one of the strong ones in this situation. 
  “so that your fans don’t feel ‘betrayed’, we are going to let the media know that you have been dating for a few months - don’t even think about telling people that you’ve been together since 2013,” mr. lee announced, which snapped you back to the conversation.
  you dared to speak again. “mr. lee, jungkook and i have broken up,” you reiterated, wondering if nobody heard you the first time.
  he rolled his eyes. “i understand. do you also understand that this reaction is basically unheard of? have you noticed that you’ve gained almost a million followers on instagram?”
  this time, it was the public relations representative from big hit that cleared her throat and stood up. she joined mr. lee in front of the board members, who began murmuring in approval amongst themselves.
  “jungkook. y/n. as you know, the love yourself world tour was just announced. s.irens is also preparing for a major comeback and potential tour. this relationship,” she said, “will be used to accelerate the successes of both of your groups.”
  a chart appeared on the screen. it showed data from the last twenty-four hours, including both group’s increase in social media numbers, streams, and search engine hits. 
  “consider it an exchange for breaching your no-dating clause five years ago. until further notice, this relationship, at least in the eyes of the public, will remain.”
  this had to be a joke. however, you remembered what you and jungkook were. you were idols. you were puppets of the machine that was the korean entertainment industry. chess pieces. no matter how rich or famous either of you got, it all boiled down to this. 
  the fame game was one that was never won.
  jungkook said, slowly, “you’re asking us to date. . .as a publicity stunt?”
  at this, you had no choice. a few individuals in the room, including jungkook, jumped when you shot up from your seat. you rose in order to bow at a ninety degree angle in front of all the senior executives, ignoring how sick you were to your stomach.
  “please,” you began, eyes squeezed shut. “i want nothing to do with jeon jungkook.”
  of course, the decision was already made and your pleas were dismissed. however, you didn’t see the way jungkook watched you beg your company to not force you in a relationship with a man you no longer loved. his mouth went dry and there’d never been such a moment in his life where he hated himself more. he did this. he pushed you to this point and he betrayed you.
  from that moment on, jungkook saw this as an opportunity. he destroyed everything that you and he had ever built. now, the only thing he ever sought from this point on, was redemption.
  even though your companies informed you two that you could publicly “breakup” following a year post-dispatch release, jeon jungkook never lost sight of the redemption he sought. they wanted you to be the so-called it couple of the industry and he decided he would do them one better and make it real. for the next year, jungkook would do everything in his power to win you back.
  LATEST NEWS: bts’ jungkook and s.irens’ nova confirms their relationship! read more about big hit’s response: “they met as friends and the connection blossomed from there”
  𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. for clarity purposes (because i feel like the non-chronological format may get confusing), y/n and jungkook get back together during this publicity stunt and are 100% for real dating in chapter 1. the publicity stunt arc is covered in chapters 6-8, as the next chapter focuses on why/how their relationship began breaking down before the hotel azure incident.
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sihtsisdrowkcab · 2 days
Text
DP x DC prompt - Villainess AU
Hey! So I found this promt and just had to write something with it!
https://www.tumblr.com/kuroishuuha/714717053010984960/dp-x-dc-prompt-villainess-au?source=share
Prompt
-Danny is transported into a novel/game where he is the villainess fiancé of the male lead.
Knowing that only death awaits him at the end, Danny tries to end the engagement (who knows if death will stick this time - Danny is not gonna risk finding out)
Meanwhile, Jason finds himself as the male lead of a novel/game he never read/played
The system in his head is telling him that the only way to get back home is to have a happy ending with his fiancé
So we have Danny who is desperately trying to end his engagement and a Jason who is trying to woo his fiancé (and cursing the original male lead - because the guy must have done something horrible for his cute and nice fiancé to be desperate to break up with him)-
Story
Danny was so over this. He thought this would have been easy, maybe not on his parents part god knows they don't give up without a fight, but his fiance has shown nothing but disdain for him his whole life (even if he wasn't here for 90% of that life) He thought he'd only have to tell his fiance that he didn't want to marry him, his fiance would be ecstatic and run into the sun with Ophelia and he'd get the weight off his shoulders and wouldn't have to worry about dying anymore and yet...
"No."
Danny just looked at him with horror "What do you mean no?" He practically yelled.
"No, I won't break off the engagement."
"Why not!? You hate me! You've hated me since the moment we met! I know you want to be with ophelia!"
Daminan looked like he was trying to read his face which makes no sense, if anyone should be trying to read the other's face it should be him!
Danny grabbed Damian's shoulders and shook them, he knew he wasn't acting like a proper gentleman, but his life was on the line! "Have you lost your goddamn mind? What in the world is wrong with you?" He paused, took a breath and let go of his shoulders. He was sure this had something or the other to do with politics, he just couldn't wrap his mind around it at all. He took another step back, he had to appease Damian somehow. "Look, neither of us wanted to get married and neither of us really knew what we were getting into when our parents signed the agreement and had us agree to this, my parents won't back down but from what I know of your parents they'll let you back out of this no problem. My parents will be pissed but that's neither here nor there. There is really no reasonable excuse for why we shouldn’t break off our engagement." Danny said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. There was no way Damian could deny all of that.
-
How could Jason deny all of that?! He was acting completely out of character, which was funny because he hardly knew what his character was like at all besides from second hand accounts. When he was told he just had to get a happy ending with his fiance he had thought this would be a piece of cake, he had brushed everything else off and took this as a really weird miny vacation, how hard could it really be to marry your fiance? Everything was already set up, it couldn't fail.
Except for the fact that apparently he was a dick and hated his fiance and she was done with all that, which he would have cheered on the fiance any day, get rid of that dick 100%. But now he was here in that dick's place and having to deal with his stupid problems and his fiance wanted to divorce him! How was he ever going to get a happy ending out of this? He did eventually want to get home no matter how annoying Bruce could be at times.
His fiance huffed drawing his eyes to him, he really was very pretty, he had no idea why Damian seemingly hated him. Sure he was being annoying as hell right now but really that was all Damian's fault.
"look i don't know why you seem to be fighting for this, it seriously seems like you just forgot everything!"
Jason froze, should he go with that? It really would be rather convincing seeing as he really didn't know Damian at all.
Danial paused, his eyes widening as he fixed on Jason's hesitance, seemingly picking apart all that he was and assessing him not adequate.
"You really don't act like Damian at all..."
He froze again, was that a good thing? Was this gonna be what gave him away?
"Did you hit your head or something? Temporary amnesia?"
"Y-yes!" Was he messing this up, would Danial believe that?
"Then why are you fighting so hard to keep the engagement? You don't know me at all."
Shit. shit what did he say? How did he convince Danial to keep the engagement if his other self hated him and this self didn't know him?
"I-I heard how wonderful you were from my parents and- and fell in love!"
Danial backed up with a distured look on his face, fuck he shouldn't have said that. "Love? After just hearing about me? That’s… kind of creepy."
“I just want to get to know you!”
Danial looked at him, his shoulders slumped and he looked resigned as he said "fine we'll keep up the engagement for now.” yes! “But when you get your memories back, we're breaking it off.”
Not great, but at least he knew that wasn’t going to happen. 
 He turned around to leave, oh wait. "I haven't told anyone else I've lost my memories so could you keep that one to yourself?" He asked, turning back around.
Danial looked at him suspiciously. "Why haven't you told anyone else? Not even your family?"
Fuck again! Why couldn't he just get this right? "Of course my family knows!" He really hoped Danial never met them because they absolutely did not. "but no one at this school does, i don't want them to treat me like i'm made of glass like my parents." Not completely off base, they've been tiptoeing around him all summer, probably because he was acting so weird.
"that makes sense." Danial sighed, he looked suddenly like the whole weight of the world was upon his shoulders. 
Jason screwed up his face, he had definitely been the one to place it there. He wanted to go over to him and tell him that they could break off the engagement after all but he really couldn't do that. "I'm sorry." He settled for instead.
Danial looked surprised. "You’re apologizing?"
"Yeah, I've made this so much harder for you than it really had to be. And you don't really know me anymore and I really don't know you."
Danial looked at him with something akin to empathy. "It's hard being thrust into a world that's unfamiliar to you isn't it? No one you trust or know around you and having to be something your not."
Jason looked at him in genuine shock. "H-how?"
Danial looked panicked for a second before he gave a light laugh. "I may not have amnesia but I do have expectations from everyone around me." He rubbed his arm. "Everyone says you're way out of my league and that I'm lucky to have you." This time his laugh was bitter.
"If anything you said about the old me was true it was really the opposite."
Danial gave a snort that Jason couldn't help feeling was the prettiest thing he's ever heard. "oh believe me i down played it."
Jason looked at him aghast. "Downplayed it!? Just how bad was I??"
Daniel gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and a smirk, "Now that, my friend is a talk for another time. Danial moved past him brushing his shoulder, what felt like a shock passed through him and he went stiff. When he finally came to his senses he was all by himself, What had just happened?
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haetrack · 23 hours
Text
your fate, my karma
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jung jaehyun x fem!reader
wc: 11.7k
synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you. but he can’t help it, it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret.
warnings: angst, little fluff, friends with benefits, pining, one sided love, confession, argument, smut (MDNI), desperate jaehyun, unprotected sex (pulling out), possessiveness and jealousy, dialogue heavy at some parts
heavily inspired by somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra
part three to the how it all goes series!
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you're laid back onto his bed, heavy breaths fanned across your face. on top of you is jaehyun, cheeks dusted with pink as his fingers are still move inside of you. “stop already,” you huff out a laugh, “i might die if you make me cum one more time.”
he chuckles at your words and slowly pulls his fingers out of you, sucking obscenely on them just to annoy you. it works, and you cover your eyes to get the image out of your head. you don’t offer to help him out, and he doesn’t ask for any favors.
he’s not really sure how his friendship with you got to this point. if he could put it simply, you told him that you had feelings for him, asking if he felt the same way. he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he wasn’t ready to be so vulnerable in front of another person. he still wanted to be friends with you. 
he remembers seeing sadness flash through your eyes, but you just smiled at him and accepted the answer that you got. in a way, jaehyun wished he could like you back, he hated the way he hurt you, but he just wasn’t ready. you were wary around him, trying to hide the hurt that he caused you. he couldn’t bear to see it, and hated how much you were hiding from him.
which is how he finds you next to him, curled up in his bed after he’s made you cum. he knows it probably wasn’t the best idea to propose, but he didn’t know how else he could keep you close. when he explains it to himself in his head, it sounds shitty, makes him feel a little fucked up. he tries to justify it, but really, all of this is a temporary fix to keep you close to him.
despite all the grey areas in his friendship with you, he’s certain about one thing: he really does like having you around. he’s chalked it up to his feelings just being from how long he’s known you, but he knows that there’s something else he doesn’t want to admit. because one, it’s fucked. two, he’s rejected you. three, he can’t like you.
he can’t like like you. he doesn’t even want to imagine thinking about the other word, but it plays at the back of his head sometimes. he hears it when you’re both out at a bar together, watching you drunkenly cling to his side. he hears it when you’re at his apartment after work. he hears it when your eyes look up at his when you drop to your knees.
he can hear it even now as you lay next to him, curled up into his side as your breaths even out. it doesn’t feel weird that he can feel your naked body against his, his best friend comfortably laid up next to him. is it so wrong of him to want this? you became more comfortable around him again after he had sex with you. he knows it’s just a temporary solution.
he can feel your breaths across his chest, your face nuzzling closer to him. he could move you away, could create a clearer boundary between the two of you. he feels a little selfish when he lets you stay there, deciding to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he pushes you closer. it’s not fair to either of you, he’s not your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be this close to you. 
it’s quiet in his room, save for the sound of cars driving down the road and the occasional huff you let out in your sleep. he isn’t tired at all, too lost in his thoughts as he stares up at the ceiling, the warmth of your body taking up all his thoughts. if he could, he would go back in time and stop you from confessing. he would’ve done it himself in the future, he just needed a little more time.
he can’t blame you though. it’s his fault for rejecting you, it’s his fault for thinking that he could make something happen out of this. there’s a small part of his heart that believes that you could like him again. you wouldn’t come back to him for sex every night, right? but the more realistic part of him knows that it could mean anything.
which is why he can’t stop you coming to him when you’re needy. it’s not even just those times, but he doesn’t think he could ever willingly cut you off. he likes spending time with you, and above everything else, you’re his friend.
he just can’t help but wish it could be a little more than that.
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you always ask jaehyun to come over if he has the time.
as you both have grown older, it feels like you both have lost more and more time. when you were both college students, it was easy to skip a few classes and go to parties each night. but now as adults, it’s hard to find time for each other. which is why you ask him to go do mundane tasks with you, like buying groceries or trying on clothes.
today it’s going over to eat with him.
before he rejected you, it felt special to be invited to do these kinds of things with him. out of all the people he could’ve asked, he chose you. it didn’t take long for you to realize that, no, jaehyun asking you to spend time with him meant nothing but him being friendly. it’s weird looking back at how much you wanted jaehyun to like you more than a friend. 
as you make your way to his apartment, you realize how much time you spent just wishing for something to happen between you two. you wonder if it was something that was ever supposed to happen between you, or maybe if the timing just wasn’t right. you used to find yourself thinking about the what ifs after he had freshly rejected you. but now, you try to focus on what you have.
he’s just your friend, and you’re close to accepting that it’ll probably never be more than that. 
when you make it to his apartment, you don’t see him right away. you call out his name, hearing his voice from his kitchen. when you head over, you’re expecting a nice meal laid out for the two of you to eat. instead, you’re greeted by jaehyun standing by the stove, a stupid smile on his face as he greets you.
“so, you invite me over to come and eat.”
he nods, smile growing wider, “yes.”
“but i’m not seeing any food.”
“that’s because you’re gonna help me.”
you stare at him. he starts moving towards you, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. he starts dragging you towards where he was standing. you start whining, “you don’t need my help. you’re a whole grown man who can cook whatever he wants.”
he laughs, “but i need you to be my other chef… what are they called?”
you roll your eyes, “a sous chef?”
“exactly,” he points at you, as if you just solidified his argument, “what if i forget something and i need your help?”
you pat his shoulder, “then you call me while i sit over on the couch.”
he’s about to give up, but he swears there’s a certain look in your eyes that ask him to keep going. that’s how it always feels with you, a certain push-and-pull that you both can’t let go of. your fingers twitch against his shoulder, almost giving you away. he moves to hold your hand, “how about you at least watch me on the side. i just wanna talk to you.”
you almost want to point out his pouty tone, want to laugh at how there’s a frown on his face. but you can’t. he looks a little too sincere, and you don’t want to think too hard about the feelings he doesn’t have for you. you sigh, eventually giving into his words. it’s always like this, jaehyun acting like he can’t go on without you. that’s what got you here in the first place.
he smiles when you approach him, so close that his arm is touching yours. it doesn’t matter how long or how many times he’s had sex with you, to have you close to him like this makes his heart soar. 
it’s like this for the whole time you both cook. your hands lightly grazing his, the sweet smile you show him when he does good, the laugh you let out when he messes up. you take over some parts for him without him asking you to. he can’t help let his mind wander, thinking this is how it would be all the time if you two were dating.
he wouldn’t have to beg you to do something with him, you would do it on your own accord. he wouldn’t have to hold back how much he wants to kiss you, he could press as many kisses on your cheeks or lips. he could stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you forcibly kick him off of cooking duty.
instead, he’s standing in front of the food he’s making, probably overcooking it as you point and laugh at him. you even take out your phone to take a picture of him, laughing as you fiddle with your phone. he swats at you, grumbling, “if you posted that on instagram, i am definitely blocking you.”
“you know me so well. i tagged you and everything.”
he chooses not to respond, taking out plates from his cabinet for the both of you. he can see you standing next to him, waiting to plate your food. he quickly decides to plate it for you, trying to hide his pink cheeks as he pushes the plate towards you. when he’s plating his own, you speak up, “wow, what a gentleman!” he can hear the teasing tone you use, “you’re really setting the bar for all men, aren’t you, jaehyun?”
he decides to tease you back, “just trying to show you how much nicer i am than you are. you should post this on instagram, too.”
“nope, letting all my followers know how mean and horrible of a cook you are. i’m ruining your chances of getting with someone.”
he shakes his head in amusement, moving to one of the seats on his small dining table. you follow, sitting right across from him. he messes with his phone a bit before you can hear that it’s connected to his speakers. an unfamiliar tune starts playing as you watch jaehyun’s head bob along to the song. 
this is how it always is, eating together, listening to his annoyingly good music taste, and enjoying each other’s presence. the food he cooked is surprisingly good, but you try to denounce it because you did help him along the way. it’s quiet between the two of you, nothing really too important to talk about.
jaehyun notices your fingers tapping along the table to the beat of the song. he smiles, “do you like it? the song?”
you pretend to think about it, “hm... well, it’s good.”
“you’re not gonna secretly shazam it under the table like last time?”
“that was literally a one time thing,” you huff, “i’ll just go and find someone with the exact same music taste as you.”
he smiles to himself, “you know there’s no one else like me.”
you think about his words for a bit. he probably didn’t mean for them to have a double meaning, but you can’t help but find one. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to find someone who could’ve made you as happy as jaehyun does. you wonder if you do find someone, you’ll be able to forget jaehyun.
you feel like you’ve become so intertwined in his life that everything might lead back to him.
you eventually nod along to his words, “yeah, there’s no one else like you.”
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“you’re kinda an ass for not picking her up yourself.”
jaehyun huffs at johnny’s words. it’s not that he didn’t want to, but you had assured him that you would make it on time. when he brought up your safety, you said that it was taken care of already. jaehyun couldn’t help but wonder who or what could possibly be more safe than him, but he didn’t want to argue. 
but now that you’re a little late, he can’t stop himself from worrying. johnny makes it worse, tearing into him, teasing him with every word. jaehyun hasn’t told him about his surfacing feelings for you, but johnny is notoriously nosy, probably knowing the exact day jaehyun thought that he started liking you. 
johnny takes one more jab at him, “she would’ve liked you more if you’d been the one who brought her.”
jaehyun’s shoulder bumps into johnny’s, “she already does like me a lot, so there’s no need for all of that.”
johnny shrugs, letting out an if you say so as he sips on his drink. as much as jaehyun wants to deny it, he really wishes he could’ve at least given you a ride. he would’ve immediately ditched johnny if you asked, would’ve been right outside your doorstep as soon as you said you were ready. he wants to tell himself that that’s just what friends do, but there’s something he doesn’t want to admit.
his hands move to pull out his phone, scrolling through your messages from the past hours. he knows he’s made a mistake as soon as he feels johnny’s eyes looking at his screen from over his shoulder. jaehyun makes a jokingly shocked face at johnny to try to distract him, but johnny’s face mirrors his own. 
johnny’s about to say something with a teasing smile on his face and jaehyun’s ready to stop him. instead, a ding comes from his phone, calling their attention. it’s a text from you, letting jaehyun know that you’re outside. he sends a text to you, his eyes moving to the entrance as he waits for you to walk in.
and there you are.
your eyes scan the room, looking for both him and johnny. jaehyun can feel his cheeks heat up at the sight of you, your face illuminated by the warm lights of the bar. he thinks you look pretty all the time, but now that he’s seeing you like this, he wants to keep it in his memory forever.
you quickly spot them, your face brightening up with a smile as you make your way towards them. you greet the two of them, johnny easily bringing you into a hug. when you turn to jaehyun, you expect the same, but his eyes stay on you for a moment too long. he notices your teasing smile, quickly clearing his throat before wrapping his arms around you.
johnny starts, “always so fashionably late.”
you laugh, “if i don’t come, who else is gonna be the funniest and sexiest person in our friend group?”
johnny moves to tuck an invisible strand of hair behind his ear, “i was holding that position just fine before you came.”
you slap his shoulder, a fit of laughter taking over you. jaehyun watches the two of you, quietly laughing at the side. he likes the dynamic the three of you have, always mentally thanking johnny for introducing you to him. he’d endure all of johnny’s teasing for years if it meant to have you laughing at his side.
it stays like this for a while. the three of you drinking together, laughing when johnny tries dragging you closer to the middle of the room to dance. jaehyun can feel his cheeks get hotter, pink from the alcohol and the not-so-visible adoration he holds for you. he tries to quiet his feelings, but when you lean into his side, your warm body pressing against his, he figures he can give up the act a little.
it’s at times like these where jaehyun realizes that he can see the you from before the rejection. it’s a bit selfish for him crave this side of you, the one where you don’t care how much you touch him or how you continue talking into his ear all night. he thinks that if you were both dating, he could lean over and press a kiss to your cheek, watching as you nuzzle into his side.
for now, all he can do is wrap his arm around yours as you both sway side to side. johnny went off to get another drink, promising to be back quickly. jaehyun has this little time to have you all to himself, listening to the loud chattering around him and the bass of the music loud in his ears. your eyes are closed, humming along to the song.
jaehyun could easily whisper into your ear about his feelings. you probably wouldn’t remember either way, but he knows it’s not right. it’s not like he’d want to do it this way, wanting to tell you honestly. but there’s a growing part inside his brain that’s begging him to do something about it. he has you so close now, so why can’t just say that he likes you?
the thoughts dissipate when johnny comes back, smile on his face with three more drinks in hand. johnny quickly notices how your arm is intertwined with jaehyun’s, and jaehyun can physically see the moment johnny comes up with a plan. jaehyun doesn’t bother moving from his spot, though, willing to sacrifice his humility just to have you by his side.
as if jaehyun wasn’t having thoughts of kissing or dating you, the conversation turns back to normal. the three of you chatting, exchanging work gossip and taking drinks from your cups. it’s like every night this happens, it’s a regular routine of talking and him having to fight back his more than friendly thoughts of his friend. 
except this time, while johnny’s explaining how he thinks his boss might be having an affair, you cut him off. johnny jokingly scoffs, turning to where you’re looking at. you both squeal, johnny’s hands finding your shoulders, shaking them back and forth. you gasp, “that’s him, right?”
johnny matches your tone, “totally him! i could recognize him from anywhere!”
raising an eyebrow in your direction, jaehyun asks, “and who exactly are we talking about?”
you turn back at him, “that’s jungwoo, someone we knew from college!”
the name sounds familiar to jaehyun. there’s probably been a few times you talked about him during one semester. he’s not sure which one it could be, but there’s a memory of a faint smile on your face while talking about him. it sets a weird feeling in jaehyun’s stomach, and he realizes you look a little too excited at the sight of jungwoo.
jaehyun’s arm is still looped around yours, a small frown on his face, “does everyone and their moms know jungwoo now?”
“he was funny in class and he bought me coffee once,” johnny hums.
you join in, “he is definitely funny and he did good when we worked on a project together.”
jaehyun pointedly glares at johnny when he speaks, but when you speak, he just holds you closer to him. he can see how johnny watches him, being reminded of how he looked like he was planning something earlier. jaehyun sees it now, johnny’s face darkening before he speaks, turning to speak to you, “i think you should go talk to him.”
jaehyun sends a pointed glare at him before looking at you, his eyes widening when he sees the shy smile on your face. you ask, “what if he doesn’t even recognize me?”
“why wouldn’t he? he always looked at you a certain way when you guys talked, he definitely remembers you.”
jaehyun wonders why no one told him more about this “jungwoo” and his apparent more-than-friendly feelings for you? if johnny knows, then does that mean the three of you hung out before without him? how much has jaehyun missed between you and jungwoo? jaehyun silently takes another sip of his drink, his eyes peering over his cup as he watches you get lost in your thoughts.
he thinks you might drop the conversation, but you breath out, “i’ll do it. i’ll go talk to him.”
jaehyun tries his best not to acknowledge the growing jealousy he can feel bubbling up in his throat. he has to bite back a remark that would probably make things worse for himself. he decides to let go of your arm, watching as you easily separate from him. johnny starts hyping you up, giving you encouraging words as jaehyun massages your shoulders.
although jaehyun wishes he could say don’t go over there or i’ll die, he decides to send you a thumbs up before you walk away. his throat burns, and as much as he wants to think it’s from the alcohol, it’s from seeing you walk away from him. you’re walking to someone that isn’t him, sharing your warmth that’s supposed to be jaehyun’s.
he realizes then and there that he shouldn’t be thinking that.
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you’re pressed against jaehyun’s bed, his face burying into your neck as he leaves kisses across your skin. you had to tell him to not leave any marks when you feel his teeth nip at your skin, and you could’ve sworn you heard a huff come out of him when you did. he’s practically pinning you down, body barely hovering over yours.
there are days where he gets like this, too desperate to where he doesn’t realize he grips you a little tighter, his voice growing deeper, relieving all of his stress by making you both feel good. you can tell when he gets like this, a quick text of an you up? letting you know what he wants. you’ve grown to learn all his habits.
it does feel a little different today, though. he was quick to greet you, quick to bring you to bed to kiss you. there were no words of how work was hard for him or if he was stressed about something that happened. not that there’s anything wrong with him not saying, but there’s a certain desperation in his movements as his lips trail down your body.
you decide not to ask about it, not wanting to pressure him into talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about. you’re quick to forget about it when he presses a kiss onto your clothed clit. he calls your name, bringing your attention to the heavy gaze he gives you. he murmurs out, “gonna let me see this pretty pussy?”
you nod quickly, lifting your hips up so he can take off your panties. he moves to lay between your thighs, humming when he sees how you’re dripping for him. it’s embarrassing, trying to close your legs. you’re met with his hands keeping them apart, chuckling at the whine you let out.
“didn’t know you could be this wet for me. if i didn’t know any better, i’d think that you need me.”
you let out a small whimper when he traces a finger down your slit, “jaehyun, please, need you to- need you to do something!”
“tell me what you need, pretty. if you don’t tell me, how am i supposed to help?”
“need you, jaehyun! want your fingers, want you to touch me!”
“of course, that’s all i needed to hear.”
you can feel one of his fingers slide into you, your head falling back onto his pillow at the feeling. you clench around his digit, already begging for more, needing him to fill you up. he doesn’t tease you for being so desperate, quickly giving into your pleas as another finger slips inside you. you let out a cry when you feel his thumb circle around your clit.
“such a messy baby, dripping all over my fingers. needed me so bad, right?”
moans of his name tumble out of your lips when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that sends shocks down your spine. your hands are gripping onto the sheets, realizing just how fast you're about to cum. you’re sure he can feel you clench around his digits, especially when you manage to open your eyes and see him looking straight at you.
“gonna cum all over my fingers?”
“fuck, yes! please, wanna cum, need you to let me cum!”
his movements speed up at your words, “go ahead and show me how much you need it.”
you’re quick to fall apart, your orgasm crashing into you. your thighs shut around his hand that’s helping you ride out your orgasm. all you can hear are the sounds you make and the encouragement that jaehyun mumbles out to you. you’re too fucked out to realize that his clean hand intertwines with yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.
before you can comment on it, he’s quick to pull away from you, hands moving to undo his pants. you move to try to do it for him, but he swats your hands away with a laugh. after letting you gawk at him for a bit, he takes his boxers off, a whine leaving you at the sight of his leaking cock. he tilts his head at you, “are you gonna let me fill your pretty pussy up?”
“please,” you moan. your legs move to wrap around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. his cock ruts against your cunt, still sensitive from your last orgasm. he shushes you when you let out a small gasp, one of his hands soothing the skin of your thigh. you let out a small cry when his tips rubs against your clit, the last of your patience running out.
you can tell it’s getting to him, too. his cheeks and ears are flushed, his eyebrows furrowed as he switches between watching your face and where he’s pressed against you. he bites back a groan when his tip catches at your entrance, trying hard not to push into you right then and there. he puts all his focus on you, “tell me that you want me to fill you up. tell me that you need me to fuck you.”
you whine, your head digging into the pillow. despite his flushed face, there’s a cocky look on his face as he stares down at you. you’re too desperate to try to fight back, losing the battle as you let out a whimper of his name. there’s almost a surprised look in his eyes as he sees you give up this easily, leaning down to give you a quick kiss to your collarbone.
“i know, baby, need you just as bad. gonna fuck you like you need it, okay?”
you whisper out a thank you as he moves to line himself up at your entrance. he slowly slides in, letting out a deep groan as he watches himself sink into you. he fights off his eyes from closing at the feeling of your tight cunt clenching around his length. you’re no better, writhing around in the sheets, whimpers of his name escaping you.
once he bottoms out, he lets out a grunt, “missed this pussy so much. so fucking warm, so tight, all for me.” you’re quick to agree, hands trying to reach at his shoulders to bring him closer to you. he gives in easily, huffing at how he can feel himself deeper inside you at the new position. he kisses the valley of your breasts, sucking lightly.
he starts off slow, teasing you as he thrusts into you, slow and deep. if you can listen past your own moans and whimpers, you can hear the quiet curses and sounds he lets out, trying to hide how much you’re affecting him. when your nails claw at his back, he breaks, “didn’t even mean to call you this late, i just needed you so bad.”
his words get to you, the fact that he wanted to call you because he was needy makes you clench around him. he can’t help but pick up the pace of his thrusts at the feeling, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. you don’t know what has him so worked up, but if he’s going to make you feel this good, you might have to figure it out.
you need just a little more, your hand trailing down your body to get to your clit. you moan in relief when your fingers circle your clit, clenching tightly around jaehyun’s length. it has his hips stuttering slightly, eyes making their way to your hand. he’s quick to push your hand away to replace it with his own, thumb making tight circles around the nub. 
he move up to whisper into your ear, “only i can make you feel this good, right? i know you better than anyone else, even yourself.”
you shake your head at his words, but your hips roll up into his, trying to fit more of him inside you. he chuckles lowly at the sight, a small smile on his face as he watches you. he’s slamming into you now, any patience he had now gone as he nears the edge. he starts, “no? trust me, pretty. i know just how you like to be touched, how you liked to be fucked. i know you so well that i just know that you’re close to cumming.”
tears prick your eyes, because yes, you are close to cumming. you can’t help it, not when he’s fucking you like this. he’s not usually this talkative, choosing rather to focus on getting away from any stresses. but now, he’s letting you in on his thoughts, letting you know what could possibly be nagging at him. you’ll save it for another time.
you’re surrounded by all of him, chest touching his as his warm breath hits your neck. you used to wish for him to kiss you during moments like these, moments where you’re both so close, adrenaline too high. now, all you can do is whine out his name, begging for him to let you cum.
it’s easy for you to let go of any past emotions you had for him, but for jaehyun, he wishes he could kiss you. he wishes that you could want him again, wishes that he didn’t have to fuck you like this. this is what he wanted, though. he just didn’t think it would be this hard. he tries to ignore it by groaning into your ear, “gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over my cock?”
“y-yes, please! you make me feel so good!”
“yeah? show me then, pretty girl. show me how i’m the only one who can make you feel this good.”
at the sound of his voice, you cum. your chest arches up into his, nails digging into his back as you let go. he’s moaning at the feeling, his hips stuttering as he tries to fuck into your tight pussy. he has to bite down onto your shoulder at the feeling, holding back just how bad he wants to cum inside you.
when you start whining, he’s quick to pull out of your heat, quickly jerking himself off to the sight of how fucked out you look. with a moan of your name, his cum shoots out over your stomach, his cheeks a pretty pink as he does. 
it’s quiet in his room, save for the deep breaths you both let out. he’s just staring down at you, saving the image of you covered in his cum in his mind. you don’t mind, too tired to notice the slight adoration in his eyes as he stares. it is embarrassing though, covering your face with your arm as you tell him to move.
he blinks away his thoughts, chuckling at your embarrassment. he pats your thigh, moving away as he goes to get a towel to clean you up. he’s being careful with you, his movements slow as the towel moves around your body. there’s a soft look in his eyes, a lazy smile on his face as he indirectly touches you. he’s quick to throw the towel into his laundry basket, even quicker to join you in bed. 
in a motion that almost seems too soft for the fact that he just fucked you into his sheets, he pulls your back into his chest. one of his hands makes it to your side, letting it sit there. his breaths are evening out, fanning across your shoulder that he nuzzles into. his touches are hesitant against your skin, almost as if he was debating on whether or not he could touch you like this.
you almost want to push his hand away or try to make some space between the two of you. friends should not be holding each other like this, friends should not be letting each other bask in the warmth of their bodies. friends shouldn’t even be having sex, not like this.
but you figure just this once, you’ll let yourself have this moment. it’s a bit selfish, getting to have jaehyun like this. you wished he’d hold you like this every single time. you think if he did, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from falling back in love with him. there’s no way for you to win when it comes to jaehyun.
as he presses a kiss and murmurs a goodnight into your shoulder, you make a promise to yourself: you won’t ever lose yourself over jaehyun again.
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jaehyun realizes how little time he’s been spending with you recently.
he’s been hearing more about this jungwoo guy. you’ve told him can’t hang out, i’m with jungwoo right now or i’ll be hanging out with jungwoo later. you’ve been so busy catching up with jungwoo that jaehyun hasn’t had the time to talk to you. no more eating or shopping together, not when jungwoo’s around.
jaehyun doesn’t want to say he’s necessarily jealous of the relationship you two share, but can’t say it doesn’t sit right with him. jaehyun is still your friend after all, and he doesn’t like hearing you talk so much about him. during the small chances jaehyun gets to talk to you, you always slip in one mention about jungwoo.
what about jaehyun? what does jungwoo have that he doesn’t? he could totally treat and touch you better than jungwoo ever could. he practically does already. he can’t help but let these little thoughts enter his mind. if jungwoo’s in the way, how is jaehyun supposed to show you how much he likes you?
it’s one day that you’re both splayed across his couch, your legs resting over his as his thumb smoothes across the skin of your thigh when jungwoo is brought up again. out of the corner of his eye, he can see you smile and lightly laugh at your phone. jaehyun, being the nosy person that he is, can’t help but try to reach over to see what you’re laughing at.
you’re quick to push him away, chuckling at the sight of the small pout on his face. he tries again, and you decide it’s probably better just to sit beside him instead. you begrudgingly show him your phone, and he squints his eyes so he can read your screen better.
it’s quiet for a few moments before he hums at the texts between you and jungwoo. it’s a conversation funny enough to make you laugh. he tries not to roll his eyes at the cutesy way jungwoo texts, him being clearly interested in you. he doesn’t want to say anything about it though, doesn’t want you to know that jungwoo bothers him for reasons that he shouldn’t be thinking. 
“he’s funny,” jaehyun muses, trying to stop the snarky remark he wants to say.
“way funnier than you,” you tease, watching him deflate back to his side of the couch. 
“there’s been times where you’ve laughed at my jokes though, like laughed laughed.”
“i was either super drunk or bored out of my mind, so those don’t count.”
jaehyun rolls his eyes at you, deciding to ignore your words, choosing to believe that you think he’s the funniest man ever. he’s been finding himself having little competitions with jungwoo that only he’s a part of. jungwoo is funny? jaehyun is funnier. jungwoo is cute? jaehyun is cute, too, just give him a minute.
jaehyun tries to boil it down to the fact he’s always been competitive, but he knows it’s more than that. in his head, it doesn’t matter what jungwoo does better than jaehyun because right now, you're in his apartment, on his couch, deciding to spend meaningless time with him. 
“what have you both been doing? i haven’t seen you at all this week.” he hates how his voice sounds, a little too clingy for his liking, but he hopes you don’t hear it.
“nothing, really. we’ve just been going out to eat or hanging out when we have the time.”
jaehyun figures you both somehow have all the time in the world in order to be hanging out this much. he makes his voice whiny before speaking, “i miss you, please don’t leave me forever.”
you laugh at the sound of his voice, pulling your legs away from him. “you’re acting like me spending time with jungwoo is gonna kill you.”
“what’s killing me is the fact i don’t get to see you that much anymore,” he grumbles. 
he notices that you don’t respond right away, and when he goes to look at you, your eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a certain look in your eyes. did he say too much? before he can start panicking, you turn towards him, “don’t do that.”
“do what?”
“pretend like you miss me when we already spend a lot of time together. you literally called me up the other night.”
jaehyun lets out a breath, “sorry, but you’re still my friend. i do miss you, i���m jealous that jungwoo gets to see you that much.” although he says it jokingly, there’s definitely truth behind his words. it might not mean much to you, but the fact that jungwoo gets to see you in a way that only jaehyun feels like he deserves, it hurts him.
“i’m gonna tell jungwoo you’re being mean to him,” you huff.
“tell him then,” jaehyun slings an arm around your waist, “let him know that he needs to learn how to share.”
“first of all,” you slide his arm off of you, “don’t say it like that because you make it sound like i’m an object. two, i think you might need to learn how to share.”
he hums, “you were mine first.”
“i was never yours,” you grouch, “you made that clear when you rejected me.”
he can tell you’re joking, but he can feel his blood run cold at your words. it’s a reminder to him that the rejection is still clear in your mind, reminding him just how much he hurt you. it will always be a reminder of how he messed up what could've been a good relationship with you if he just had more time.
he can’t blame you for his own mistake. he can’t.
in the best way he can, he puts his hands together and grovels, “please, can you find it in your kind soul to forgive me?”
you scoff, rightfully so, before grabbing your phone to take a picture of him. you’re quiet for a few moments more, jaehyun knowing that you’re about to post the picture on your instagram story for everyone to see, including jungwoo. he doesn’t want to stop you, equal parts of wanting to show off how you’re hanging out with him and a little bit of embarrassment. 
you set your phone down, placing your hands on top of his, “you can stop. now i kinda just feel bad for you. you do deserve it, though.”
jaehyun doesn’t move, staring at you with a certain look in his eyes. he can tell you right here, he thinks. he’s thought about what he’d say if he were to confess to you almost too much. he’s practiced his lines before, thinking up the perfect way he’d confess. it almost feels right to do it now, clearing his throat and-
your phone buzzes, pulling your attention away from him. he grimaces when you show him the notification. what seems to be jungwoo’s account liking your story, the story that has jaehyun begging for your apology posted on it. you sigh dreamily, “told you he’s funny.”
“not funny when it’s jungwoo.”
“jaehyun!”
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you find yourself drinking at jaehyun’s place again.
it’s a slow night, both of you had stressful days. you choose to stay in jaehyun’s kitchen, laughing at unfunny words and pouring more wine for each other as the night rolls on. you didn’t mean to stay over so late, but jaehyun practically begged you to spend some time with him. you were quick to say yes under the guise that all he wanted to do was be with his friend.
before the night went too deep, you texted jungwoo saying that you probably won’t be able to call him tonight. he responds quick, a have fun! and i hope you sleep well :) flashing on your screen. you smile warmly at the messages, but quickly notice jaehyun also staring at them. you push at his shoulders, whining over how he’s invading your privacy.
his cheeks are rosy from the wine, a sly smile on his face as he asks, “how am i not supposed to look when i see you smiling like that.”
“you’re supposed to be a good friend and support me in my times of need!”
he puts his hands up in defense, that annoying smile still looking back at you, “thank you for being so vulnerable around me. and who’s to say i don’t support you in your times of need?”
you hear the double meaning in his words, swatting him away, “hey! you’re actually so gross.”
he just chuckles at your words, enjoying how easily you get embarrassed at his teasing. it’s been happening more often, and jaehyun can’t help but piece together that it might be because of jungwoo. jaehyun feels that you might be slipping away right in front of him, and he can’t really do anything to stop it.
you aren’t completely unaware of jaehyun trying to get you to hang out with him. he’s been sending more texts recently, nothing really important being said. you’re not sure how obvious you’re being with jungwoo, but you’re sure that jaehyun has at least an inkling on how you feel about him. which leads you to believe that jaehyun might be a little jealous.
it was never your intention to make him jealous. that night when you first saw jungwoo again was all unplanned. you never thought you would end up talking to him, never thought you’d like the way he treated you. he was so sweet to you, always trying to take care of your every need when prompted.
it’s bad to compare, but you realize that jaehyun’s only being so nice to you now is because jungwoo’s being nice to you. 
that’s not to say that jaehyun was never not nice to you, but you could tell that it’s a different kind of nice when it comes to him. the relationship you have with jaehyun now feels more like a bandaid to cover all of the bad things that have happened, no one bothering to address it. you don’t want to either way, no use in bringing up what shouldn’t be talked about.
even now, as you’re here with him in his kitchen, feeling the cold air from the open window drift in, there’s unspoken words between the two of you. you can hear the music playing from his speakers in the other room, the melody sticking in your head. it’s weird to think that you would’ve never gotten to see jaehyun like this if you didn’t stay with him.
it’s quiet for a few moments, apart from jaehyun humming along to the song that’s playing. it’s dark, his warm lights low as they cover the both of you. it’s nice like this, a little drunk and a little quiet; you don’t have to think about anything you don’t want to. you don’t think before you speak, “i do miss you, too, you know.” 
“yeah?”
“you’re still someone i appreciate, even after everything.”
he doesn’t respond, and you think he’s taking in your words. you’re not sure why you didn’t specify ‘friend’ but you know he knows better than to have his hopes up anymore. you see that the tips of his ears are pink, the lazy smile on his face showing that he’s a bit tipsy too. he’s not looking at you, you’re not really sure what he’s thinking-
“i think… i think i love you.”
“what?”
his eyes immediately snap to yours, widening as he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. slightly panicking, he stands up, trying to backtrack, “no, i- look-”
“what did you say?”
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it-”
“what does that even mean? you can’t just randomly say you love me and then take it back?”
he chooses not to answer right away, eyes darting all around as he tries to come up with an answer. he can fix this, he can help himself, it’s just… he doesn’t really want to. it’s almost selfish with how he feels a little relief with his confession. “since you’re asking,” he starts, “i… i like you. i’ve liked you for a while now.”
when he looks at you, the anger from before is still there. you’re biting down on your lip, hands balled at your sides as his words hit you. “jaehyun… do you know how wrong that is? since when? after you rejected me?”
“no, i- fine. yes, after i rejected you. i know it’s wrong and i know i shouldn’t but it clicked for me, even if it was a little late.”
“a little late? jaehyun, you’re telling me this after you know i’m talking to someone. you knew that there’d be a high chance that i wouldn’t feel the same. i know you’re not that dumb.”
“but that’s how you felt when you asked me out? even if there was a chance that i would say no to you, you still did it, right? that’s exactly how i feel, how bad would it be if i tried?”
a shocked laugh leaves you, “that isn’t fair! you’re not being fair! you’re not thinking about how i would feel knowing this!”
you think he knows that it’s not the same between you and him. you confessed because you genuinely thought you had a chance with him. jaehyun’s only confessing because you’re talking to jungwoo. 
“i should’ve never let this happen! fuck, i knew if i kept talking to you, something bad would happen.”
he scoffs, wanting to call out your bluff. “i never forced you to come over and talk. you weren’t forced to come over and have sex with me. you could’ve stopped this at any time, but you kept coming back to me.”
you let out an exasperated sound, “we were friends, jaehyun. friends hang out and talk, that’s literally all we were doing.”
he snaps, “friends don’t fuck. friends don’t hold each other after sex. you can’t say that you didn’t feel anything between us. that’s the whole reason i called you for sex the other day, i needed you."
you can hear how loud your heart is pounding in your chest. your head hurts already, the faint song playing in the other room only adding to the pain. there’s nothing more that you want to do than just go home. you wish you could’ve been more clear, you wished you would’ve drawn a clearer line between the two of you. now you’re stuck like this.
you sigh out, mumbling into the quiet air, “if i had known that you were gonna be like this, i would’ve made sure to end whatever we had as soon as possible.”
“if you never met jungwoo, then this probably never would’ve happened. i could’ve asked you out the normal way, but you kind of forced me into drunkenly confessing to you.”
you send a glare straight at him, “do not assume how i would feel in any situation. the fact that you didn’t even want to tell me that you liked me says everything i need to know.”
“how was i supposed to tell the girl i rejected that i like her now?”
“exactly! don’t you see how fucked up that is?”
he shrugs, closing himself off before you can start up again. you know how he gets, pretending that none of this really matters to him. it’s childish, and you know he knows it. you don’t know what else to do. if he can’t sort himself out, there’s no reason for you to be here anymore.
you’re quick to get up and out of the kitchen. he doesn’t look at you at first, but as soon as he hears you pack your stuff into your bag and your car keys in hands, he follows right after you. there’s a startled look on his face, you can tell that he didn’t think you would leave him. you watch as he raises a hand to stop you, but quickly puts it down after some thought.
you let out a breath, “i’m leaving. you can decide if you want to pull yourself together and grow up if you wanna talk. if not, don’t even bother texting me.”
he doesn’t try to argue, watching as you walk out his door. he can’t feel anything, doesn’t really want to do anything other than lay in bed. he walks over to his bedroom, the sound of a familiar slow song getting louder as he walks closer. he makes it inside, pausing the song before laying down onto his back. it’s quiet again.
he just ruined everything.
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for the first time in a while, your life feels kinda normal.
there’s not a lot for you to worry about if you ignore a few things. work is fine, your friends are celebrating your freedom, and jungwoo comforts you in every way possible. you realize that jungwoo might’ve been everything you’ve been looking for in a person. he stays close when you need him and gives you space when you ask.
you tell jungwoo that you’re happy to have him right now. you tell him that you’re sorry for acting a little weird recently (he quickly denies your claim). you don’t tell him exactly what happened with jaehyun, but you can assume he at least knows a little. he doesn’t try to pry it out of you, choosing not to remind you of something you don’t want to think of.
and you’re not thinking about it. you haven’t gotten any texts from jaehyun, so why should you care?
as much as you don’t want to admit it, it does feel weird not having jaehyun in your life. you didn’t realize how much you thought about him or how much time was dedicated to being with him. it didn’t seem to matter at first because you thought it was because you both were friends, but you realize he was kind of stringing you along.
there’s a lot of time you have to yourself now. you don’t have to worry about jaehyun calling you randomly throughout the day or one of his spontaneous meetups. you don’t have to think about his you up? texts during the late hours of the night. you don’t have to think about any hurt he’s caused you in the past. none of it will mean anything anymore.
until you get a call from johnny.
“hey, johnny. what’s up?”
he skips right past your greeting, “why doesn’t jaehyun want to hang out with you?”
you’re shocked for multiple reasons. one, of course, johnny already knows your business. two, how dare jaehyun say he doesn’t want to hang out with you. you scoff, “what exactly did he say?”
“he said he was busy, but, like i know he’s not gonna be busy. and that obviously means that something is going on between you two.”
you want to scream into your phone’s microphone. jaehyun doesn’t deserve to set the boundary between you two. he was the one who messed it up in the first place, so why is he the one trying to put distance between you two? “johnny,” you start, “do you promise not to tell anyone about what i’m about to tell you? you can’t even tell jaehyun.”
he lets out a little shocked sound and you can imagine him sitting up straight. he whispers into the call, “what is it?”
“the other night, jaehyun told me he likes me. actually, in his own words, he said he thinks he loves me.”
he gasps loudly into the phone, “what? are you sure? like jaehyun said that? jaehyun?”
“exactly! it doesn’t even seem like something he’d do! he said it was because we were both drinking.”
“that doesn’t even matter,” johnny sighs, “you don’t go around saying that to your friend, especially not the friend you rejected before.”
“you get it! that’s literally what i told him! i need to sit down with you so we can discuss this.”
it’s quiet on the other side of the call, and by his silence, you can tell he’s planning something. it’s never good when he does, so you try to call out his name before he can think any more, but you’re too late.
“i think you should sit down with him to talk about what happened.”
you sarcastically laugh, “he hasn’t even texted me, there’s no way i’m talking to him first.”
“i didn’t say you should text him first, i’m just saying that you both should talk. you can’t just leave this off on bad terms.”
“and if i want to?”
“i know you don’t. plus, it feels like i’m a child whose parents are going through divorce, so you need to fix this.”
you whine into the phone, which causes johnny to laugh on the other end. he’s right, you don’t want this to end badly with jaehyun. even if you both decide to never talk again, you don’t want to have a strained relationship with him. after a few moments, you answer him, “fine, but don’t have your hopes up because even i don’t know what’s gonna happen.”
“okay, perfect, because i already kinda convinced jaehyun to meet up with you.”
“johnny!”
he defends himself, “like i said, i’m basically seeing you guys go through a divorce. please bring my family back together.”
“whatever, do what you want to do.” johnny cheers from the other end of the call, quickly letting out an you won’t be disappointed! before he hangs up, not even letting you say goodbye. as much as you try to hide it, a part of you is happy at the thought of jaehyun wanting to work things out with you.
even if you don’t know what you want just yet, you’ll get yourself ready.
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you realize you’re no longer happy when a few days later, jaehyun shows up to your front doorstep, a frown painted on his face.
you almost want to slam the door on him when he speaks. his voice is quiet, “why did you tell johnny you didn’t want to hang out with me?”
as soon as he stops talking, it all clicks in your head. johnny tricked you both. you’ll have to get mad at him later, but for right now, you have to deal with jaehyun who’s pretending he didn’t just ignore you for almost two weeks. you reluctantly let him in, watching as he walks in almost too normally.
no one bothers talking, no one trying to make the first move. you’re staring him down and he tries to ignore the hard stare you’re giving him. while you’re glaring at him, you can see how he looks more tired than usual. the faint lines under his eyes give it away, and when he does finally make eye contact with you, it’s soft, no anger behind his eyes.
you step back, breathing in before speaking, “let’s go talk in my room.”
he sends you a soft smile, not needing you to guide him to your room. he knows the whole layout by now, feeling more like he’s leading you to your own room. he opens the door for you, choosing to let you walk in first. it’s awkward when you have to motion for him to step in, watching him not really knowing what to do.
you move to sit on your bed, and he moves to sit at your desk. it’s not as awkward as it is tense. you don’t know what to say, you didn’t plan on him coming over. his eyes are darting across your room, his eyebrows furrowed as he presumably tries to start the conversation.
“how are you doing?”
you roll your eyes at the simple question, “i’ve been doing fine. i feel like my life’s been a lot calmer since that day.”
he leans forward in his seat, “really? i feel like i’ve lost ten years of my life.”
deserved, you think. you gather all your thoughts before speaking, “i think the days that i spent without thinking about you really changed how i feel. i realized just how much i was entangled in your life. it wasn’t good for me.”
he looks off to the side, taking in your words. you see the hurt that settles in his face, you see how it’s going to be burned into his memory. he smacks his lips, “i think for me it’s the opposite. i realized during this time without you really solidified my feelings. i can’t lie and say that my feelings have changed, because they haven’t.”
you feel anger bubbling up inside you, but you can’t do that today. you take a few breaths, calming yourself down as you focus on what you’re most curious about, “why did you start liking me?”
“i don’t even know. i know it’s shitty of me to realize how much you mean to me after i said no to your confession. i understand why you said no to me.”
“i’m sorry for getting mad so quickly. it was just so out of the blue, i never would’ve expected you to say that.”
you pat the spot on your bed next to you, calling his name softly. he slowly moves to your side, his eyes focused on his hands splayed across his knees. after all this time without you, he wishes he could hold your hand in his, even if he tried to play it off as a joke. it’s been too long without your touch. you took away the only thing that kept him close to you. 
“can i ask something?”
he nods, putting all of his focus on you. it feels intense when he does, you haven’t had him this close in a long time. you clear your throat, “this wasn’t all because of jungwoo, right?”
he sighs, his jaw clenching as he thinks of the right words to say. he’s deep in thought, and you almost want to tell him to drop it all together. he decides to speak up, “honestly? seeing you both together kind of made me realize my feelings. i was losing you to him, and i really couldn’t handle it. i’m not trying to ruin whatever you have going on with him, i promise.”
you don’t know what else to say. so much of this could've been prevented if you kept an eye out for yourself. you also wouldn’t want to go back and change what you’ve done. you don’t regret ever being jaehyun’s friend, you don’t regret all the memories you’ve made with him. 
“so, this… this is really over then?”
you shrug, “i would think so.”
it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of you letting the thought seep in. “this” has never been defined between the two of you, but you can assume it’s almost everything you do together. what you’re feeling now is close to how you felt when he first rejected you. what’s different now is that you can’t help but feel just a little relieved, ending something that probably should’ve never happened.
in another world, you think you would’ve reciprocated jaehyun’s feelings. it would’ve been easy, pieces easily falling into place as you both fall for each other. it’s almost as if it were supposed to be something that was natural. but jaehyun had given the time for you to move on, and you did. it was too late for him to realize his own feelings.
“we can still be friends if you can handle that.”
he laughs incredulously, “if i handle that? i’m a grown man, thank you very much.”
“yeah? well i think if i were you, i wouldn’t be able to hold back my feelings,” you tease.
he grumbles, “too soon, you’re too mean.”
jaehyun watches a pretty smile adorn your face, and if it weren’t for the current circumstances, he would tell you how pretty you look. he keeps the thought to himself though, opting to ask, “how about one last drink together as friends who are a little more than friends?”
you hum, pretending to think about it. you watch worry wash over his face, and you do feel bad a little bit. “one more time, just for your sake. you look like you might start crying.”
he groans as you walk away to get some wine for the both of you. you’re by yourself for a few moments as you pour the drinks. you feel awkward in here by yourself, left with thoughts and memories of all the things you’ve done together. all the times you’ve had sex, all the times where he’s felt like your boyfriend, but none of it holds to him being your friend.
you don’t know if you can continue being friends with him. 
it would be unfair to jungwoo. you haven’t told him the exact dynamics of how your friendship with jaehyun worked, but you can assume he knows most of it. 
you return to the sight of jaehyun looking around your room. he’s been in here too many times to count, and yet seeing him here now, it’s weird. he feels out of place, he feels almost like a stranger in your own apartment. despite the history you have with him, it seemed to fall apart so easily as soon as conflict hit.
he thanks you quietly when you hand him the glass. you take a small sip of your drink, watching jaehyun do the same from the corner of your eye. after the drink, he chooses to speak, “so how are you and jungwoo?’
“that’s how you want to start our small talk?” you splutter out.
“i mean, can i not be interested in my friends' love life?”
well it’s hard when you were directly involved in it. you shrug, taking another small sip before speaking, “i’m… really happy that i’m talking to him. he takes care of me, he’s always asking how i’m doing. it’s nice being with him.”
you can tell jaehyun is trying not to let your words affect him, “are you both… officially dating yet?”
his words make you shy, your facing feeling hot at the idea of dating jungwoo. brushing off his words, you laugh, “no! not yet, at least. i think i’d say yes if he asked me out.”
he nods, his head hanging heavy, hand twirling the wine in his glass. you know what he’s thinking, you don’t need to ask him. you can’t be his, you won’t ever be his. you think that this was never supposed to work out, no matter how hard you tried or how much you think he could’ve loved you. he wasn’t meant for you.
“okay, one more thing.”
he nods, turning his attention back on you.
“did you really mean it back then, like, when you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship?”
“yes, i was scared. i think back then, even though i didn’t realize it, i also had feelings for you. but it was… it just wasn’t the right time for me. even though i liked spending so much time with you, there were things i wanted to figure out first.”
you cock your head to the side, “like?”
he hums in thought for a bit, trying to remember times from so long ago. thinking back, you remember how you felt old, you felt like you were already an adult. but he’s right, there were still things you didn’t know about yourself, and you wonder if dating jaehyun would’ve stopped you from figuring them out.
“i guess… mostly wanting to decide what i wanted to do with my life. now that i’ve somewhat settled, i feel more confident in what i want. even though it came at the worst time, i was so sure that i could see you in my future.”
the confession doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. you can relate to how he feels. for the longest time, you felt that you needed jaehyun in your life. it wasn’t until after he confessed to you that you saw that there’s more to your life than him. you’re thankful for all the time you’ve had with him, but there’s still so much more for you to do.
it’s like this for a few more hours, the sunset bleeding into the night time. you both have a few more drinks, jaehyun eventually turns on music playing on his phone. you feel a lot better now. you only want the best for jaehyun, and you think that this is the best for the both of you.
jaehyun has to leave at some point, one of the last buses back to his place coming soon. you don’t want him to go, you don’t want him to leave the comfort of your bedroom. there’s a small part of you that’s scared that you’ll never see him here again. you try to remind him that this is what you both need, clear, distinct boundaries.
you walk him to your door, “you’ll text me once you're at your apartment, right?”
he shuffles over, “yeah, i will. johnny will make sure i get there safe.”
you nod, opening the door for him. he walks out, watching you with an unsure look on his face. a part of you wants to let him in, wants to let him give you one last kiss. it’s wrong, your grip on your door getting tighter at the thought. he still has a strong pull on you, your hand wanting to reach for his.
it’s not meant to be.
“goodnight, jaehyun. i’ll see you soon, okay?”
“alright, goodnight. i… i’ll be here if you ever need me. i’ll wait.”
you smile, “i know. thank you, get back safe.”
he nods, waving you off before he walks away. you close the door, locking it behind you. it’s quiet now, no soft conversations, no laughing, just the sound of your feet pattering on the floor. 
you don’t really feel like crying. you don’t feel like there’s something missing inside you. jaehyun used to be a big part of you, but as time went on, he took up less and less space.
there’s more important things to worry about than someone who couldn’t make time for you. you have time to figure things out now, you have time to figure out what you really want, whether that’s jungwoo or someone else. 
you’ve never felt better. 
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as jaehyun scrolls through instagram, he sees a post from you. it’s been a while since he’s seen you in person, so he’ll take anything he can get. the first few photos are of you, and the next few are pictures of things he assumes you found pretty. the last photo is what makes him pause, a photo of what he can only assume is jungwoo holding your hand.
he checks the comments, some of your friends replying with different emojis, all to tease you with. they all seem to know about your budding relationship with jungwoo. jaehyun’s glad that it’s going well for the both of you. it’s what you deserve after what he put you through.
he hung out with you and johnny the other day. as much as everyone tried to be normal, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he changed the dynamics of your friendship. you and johnny were the same, easily laughing and joking around with each other. it’s not exactly awkward when you and jaehyun talk, but the air around you is certainly different.
it’s what should’ve happened, at the start of it all you both should’ve set rules. jaehyun realizes that he would’ve never gotten to see you in the ways he did. warm lights from his kitchen painting over your skin, or when the light from the moon would shine over your body while he holds you close. he wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.
you were all he had, and losing you is something he will always regret. he knows that you’re doing good now, not just with jungwoo. he doesn’t want to come in and ruin what you’ve built up. it doesn’t matter how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss you, you’re better off without him.
he just wishes he had more time.
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a/n: hey people... what did we think of this ending... jaehyun is my friend i do not hate him i like him... anyways i hoped u like this... it took longer than i thought it would but im glad its out HOORAYYY
taglist: @froggyforyoongi @the-universe-in-you-jjh @ppeachyttae @omlhyck @hazyhae @haechology @jaehyunful @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @diorcities @hrts4doie @ohmytyong @ecvm5236 @faeryus @riri4andy @rjtulips @missesgirl @shiorebirth @sugaringgcaramel @camomillie @ninicornposts @il02isa @sincerelyneo @perfumejamal @justhgiwo @lovingyoulovinme2 @babyriannie @eunseoksimp @jeonreal @mawnehkah @shoetaroshoe (thank u all omg 🫂❤️)
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x0xomady · 2 days
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But Daddy I love him !
(based on the song from TTPD)
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
warnings: smut, p in v, marijuana consumption, overstimulation, oral sex, pet names, 18+
(harrystyles!dealer x female reader) both are 18!
summary: senior year of high school y/n falls in love with the new plug at school.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
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i HATE high school.
that might sound stereotypical like i’m one of those emo girls that hates everything, but i’m not. i just HATE high school.
for the first couple years everything was going great. freshman and sophomore year were so much fun. i had a big group of friends and i was pretty popular. i was even dating the cute skater boy! it was literally a teenage romcom like ’10 things i hate about you’.
however, that all went to shit.
the downfall of my teenage years first began when my asshole ex thought leaking my nudes to the entire junior class was a good idea. so naturally instead of standing up for me, my friends turned on me and said i was a slut.
after that traumatizing incident, i learned one thing. high school is temporary so why waste my time on bitchy friends?
that’s the attitude i had coming into senior year and it’s the one that’s kept me going for the last few months.
i stopped dressing preppy and popular because my “friends” wanted me too and i started dressing like i want to.
life is going fucking great now. i smoke weed, go to class, and binge watch gilmore girls. i don’t have to go to those god awful parties on the weekends, i can just relax.
the only way thing going bad for me right now was the fact that my dealer moved away. now i had to find a new one which isn’t hard, just annoying.
from what i’ve heard there’s 2 other dealers on campus. one is a freshman that steals shit from his dad and sells it. the other one is a random british guy that moved here last year.
i’m probably going to choose the new british guy.
so that was my goal for today. i’m going to find the new british guy in my class and buy weed so i don’t die during midterms week.
from what i’ve heard about this mystery british guy is his name is either harvey, harry, or harden. i’ve also heard he’s insanely hot and rejects all the girls that ask him out. although, if we’re being real here, most british guys are hot just because of their voices. so, i’m doubting he’ll be that hot. he’s probably going to have nasty ass teeth and be short.
walking down the halls of the school is kind of fun for me. i blast music in my headphones and pretend like i’m not in this hell hole. my outfit is casual and comfy so i’m honestly pretty confident right now.
as i walk into my first class i sit in my usual seat i see a new guy sitting next to me. i glance at him and can’t remember if i’ve ever seen him before. i don’t think i’ve ever seen him, but i can say for a fact that he is very, very, VERY attractive.
the new guy is sitting back against his chair, manspreading of course, with his headphones in. he’s wearing a black hoodie and dark blue jeans. he looks so casually perfect it’s slightly alarming.
i turn towards the front of the classroom as my teacher begins to drone on about different math equations. however, throughout the 50 minute class, my eyes kept wandering back over to the very attractive boy sitting next to me.
i TRIED to keep my thoughts off of him. i mean, i have completely sworn off dating and crushes for the rest of high school because of the last one that fucked me over.
my thoughts are cut off by the boy tapping me on the shoulder. my mind freezes and i turn towards him.
“yeah?” i try to act all nonchalant and mysterious but i said yeah WAY to quickly and excitedly.
the boy smiles slightly and leans over whispering to me. “do ya get a thing he's droning on about?”
oh fuck. the british accent.
“no i really don’t i'm completely zoned out right now.” i whisper back to the british boy.
he nods and leans back in his chair watching the teacher talk. he is sitting there with his knees casually spread and his arms crossed.
we sit there for another 10 minutes listening to the teacher talk about different functions until he announces.
“alright for the last 15 minutes of class go over the problems on the board with the person next to you.” the teacher points to the problems then sits at the desk so we can all work with our partners.
the boy smirks and turns his head back towards me. “ready to fail together?”
i can’t help the small smile that creeps onto my lips. i usually try to stay pretty unbothered and calm at school, but something about the way this curly headed boy was smiling at me made me a bit giddy.
AND he has weed, small plus.
“yeah lets do it” i nod and we start working on the equations together. he scoots closer to me and rests his head propped up on his arm while i start writing things down.
he watches me write for a second before speaking up. “y’have pretty handwriting.”
i look at him a bit surprised but smile a little bit. blush slowly creeps up on my cheeks as he compliments me. “really? never heard that before.” i shrug.
“yeah never seen someone write their three’s with a curl before. it’s adorable.” he smirks and looks up at me for a second before looking back down at my writing.
i’m about to speak up again but the teacher cuts me off. “if you haven’t finished the problems yet, do them tonight and turn them in tomorrow morning.”
he looks over at me with a smile, “we still have quite a few questions left."
“yeah this is going to take a while.” i sigh looking down at the 32 questions we have to work on.
he turns his body towards me more and props his arm up against the back of the chair next to me. “where do you eat lunch?”
i shrug. “probably in the library today because i have a fuck ton of work to catch up on.”
“hm okay. mind if i join you? we could finish the work then.” he has a small smile on his face while i sit there looking flustered as ever.
“oh yeah sure.” i nod and smile a little bit. “i’ll just be on the couches in the back. come find me.” he nods and we both exit the classroom.
holy shit. THAT was the guy i’m supposed to buy from? i’m going to be needing a LOT more weed than i thought.
throughout all of the drama that went down junior year, i have had one friend remain loyal to me. y/bsf/n and i have been friends since freshman year of high school and have stayed close ever since.
as soon as i walked out of math i rushed to find her. naturally, i found her touching up her makeup in the girls bathroom.
“GUESS WHAT?” i squeal as i burst into the girls bathroom.
she immediately drops her mascara and whips around to face me. “WHAT WHAT”
i smile and grab her shoulders. “I’M EATING LUNCH WITH THE HOT BRITISH PLUG”
y/bsf/n face drops and she squeals excitedly. “OMG I SAW HIM THIS MORNING HE IS SO- ”
“can you guys shut up? i’m trying to wash my hands” a random girl glares at us.
“um no? can you go wash your shit covered hands then leave?” she snaps back at her. the girl rolls her eyes and walks out of the bathroom.
i’m too excited to even care. we stand there for the next couple minutes before class starts talking about what i’m going to do and how to talk to him.
another girl walks up to the mirrors and suddenly turns to us with an “i’ve got gossip” look. “you know i heard he only wears long sleeved hoodies and shirts to school because he’s a heroin addict that’s covering track marks.”
both y/bsf/n and i roll our eyes and shake our head. “that’s a dumbass rumor don’t spread shit like that.” i glare at her.
the girl rolls her eyes and shrugs. “might be true.”
“wait wait pause.” my face drops as i look at y/bsf/n.
“what?”
“i don't even know his name. the only thing i know is that it starts with an H” my eyes widen in the realization that i didn’t even introduce myself in class today.
“uhhh i think it’s harvey? i’m like 80% sure.” she shrugs and continues doing her makeup in the mirror as i stand there freaking out.
“harvey?! like steve harvey? theres no way thats his name.” i roll my eyes.
“whatever, just ask him! oooh maybe if you guys hookup he’ll give you free weed!” she smirks at me.
“NO i’m not using him for free stuff. that is so fucked up.”
she rolls her eyes and applies her lipgloss. “fine fine. be all moral if you want.” the bell rings and the both of us leave the bathroom. i head towards my english class with the elated feeling of what’s to come.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
by the time lunch rolls around i’m feeling giddy as ever. y/bsf/n had been hyping me up for the last four periods which wasn’t helping my excitement die down at all.
i walk into the library building and walk to the back where my usual lunch study couch is. i set my tote bag and lap top down and get comfy waiting for “H” to show up. if his name is actually harvey theres no way in hell i’ll be able to take him seriously.
after about five minutes he walks over and plops down on the couch next to me. “ready?”
“yeah lets finish this shit.” i nod and pull out my work while he grabs his. “so can i ask your name? i totally forgot to ask this morning.”
he pauses and turns to me with a smirk. “wait you don’t know my name?”
my eyes widen and i try to play it off. “uh… no how would i know your name?”
he instantly starts laughing and covers his mouth. “really? we’ve been in the same math class for 5 months!”
i stare at him in shock and guilt for a second before snapping out of it and smiling. “i’m sorry. i’m pretty zoned out or high during math.”
“yeah i got that.” he smirks and looks at me. “i even know your name y/n”
i feel blush start to creep up my cheeks as i hear my name drop from his lips. is it from embarrassment or being flustered? we’ll never know, but it’s probably a mix. he knows my name? fuck.
“oh i’m so sorry.” i meet his eyes with a nervous and embarrassed look.
“no you’re good. this is only the second time we’ve ever interacted so i understand.” he still has a smug smile on his face. “well my name’s harry.”
“ohh harry? my friend told me something completely different.” i smile. thank GOD i didn’t call him harvey. i would’ve died from the humiliation if that slipped out.
harry smirks and looks back over at me. “wow already talking about me to your friends? good to know i make an impression.”
my face heats up at his teasing words, but i try to play it off. “well it’s not often a british guy sits next to me in math.”
“yeah i guess thats true.” harry nods and leans back against the couch. “i’ve always known who you were. which might sound creepy but i promise it’s not.”
“really?” how would he know who i am? besides math we don’t have anything together. we don’t even run in the same friend group.
“yeah you’re like the hot girl that got trashed by her friends right?”
i roll my eyes. “yeah thats me. i’m guessing you saw my nudes.”
harry frowns and shrugs. “i didn’t look at them myself but i heard descriptions. i’m not a pervert i wouldn’t look at some random girls nudes.”
“okay thank you but, oh my gosh hearing about it is 10x worse!” i groan in embarrassment.
“hey, it’s not your fault. that ex and those “friends” of yours were total assholes for doing that to you.” harry gives me a sympathetic look before returning to the math problems.
“wait. if you’ve been in my class this whole time how have i not seen you before today?” the realization hits me that i’ve never even seen harry in class before. i would’ve remembered if i had, he’s not a face you would forget seeing.
harry shrugs. “i usually sit in the back on the other side of the classroom.”
“oh. so then why did you sit next to me in the front today?” i look at harry slightly confused.
“because you’re pretty.” he smirks at me.
my eyes widen and i blush a little. “oh thank you.”
for the next 30 minutes we talk mindlessly back and forth while working on our homework together. as lunch time comes to a close i remember why i was originally seeking out harry.
“hey i totally forgot to ask, but are you selling?”
harry puts down his notebook and crosses his arms looking at me with a small smile. “hm depends what you’re trying to buy.”
i roll my eyes and give him a look. “i think you know what i’m trying to buy.” harry chuckles quietly and continues teasing me.
“wow what is an innocent girl like you doing trying to buy pot?” he looks absolutely gorgeous like this. he’s leaning back comfortable with his arms crossed. those emerald green eyes search my face with an amused grin. “i think you’re daddy would be disappointed if he knew.”
“oh whatever.” i try to act annoyed but the way he is looking at me right now is intoxicating. “so you have it? because if you don’t i’m going to have to go to that weird ass freshman.”
harry laughs and rests his head agains the back of the couch. “of course i have something for you y/n. except i don’t sell at school so if you want something you’ll have to come over later.”
oh. OH go to his house? don’t have to ask me twice.
“yeah for sure.” i nod at him and play it off with a smile like i’m not internally squealing with joy.
harry pulls out his phone and holds it out for me to take. “put your number in and i’ll text you my address.”
my heart beat speeds up as i take the phone from him carefully. i quickly type in my number and create a contact with my name as, ‘y/n 💞’
a bright smile appears on his face when he sees my contact in his phone. harry glances back up at me and says, “god you’re so cute.”
i blush brightly and feel extremely flustered but i ignore it and nod. “text me your address and i’ll come over after school.”
harry smiles and nods. “alright.” he quickly types something into his phone. i hear a ding from my phone and see a text message from an unknown number. harry’s address is written so i quickly set the contact to ‘harry 🍃’
“cool see ya later y/n” harry nods at me and exists the library.
“bye” i sit there in shock of everything that just happened. he called me cute AND pretty? tonight is going to be un-fucking-real.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
the first thought that comes to every girls mind when they are invited over to a guys house is, their outfit. so that’s where i am now. running around my room throwing shit around trying to find a cute outfit.
y/bsf/n was sitting on my bed telling me different things. “okay don’t wear a skirt that’s trying WAY too hard.”
“i know!” i groan and drop all my skirts on the ground before scrambling back to my closet.
“y/n look. the more you try the more shallow you’re going to come off. so just wear jeans and a cute top.” she shrugs and throws me a pair of my low rise jeans.
“yeah yeah you’re right.” i sigh and put the jeans on with a cute top, and my outfit is ready to go.
“ugh SO cute honey. you’re gonna wipe that sexy ass off his feet.” she claps happily and smiles.
i roll my eyes but smile. “okay whatever i have to go.” i kiss her cheek than head towards the door.
“yay go get high and laid bitch!” she giggles as i leave my bedroom.
harry’s house is a 15 minute drive from mine so i had to leave now if i was going to make it. i hate to admit it, but the gnawing feeling of anxiety and nervousness was finally hitting me.
usually when i’m over at guys houses, it’s very chill and i’m not worried because theres no reason to be. however, this time i’m actually nervous because i’m actually into the guy i’m seeing.
sure we only met officially today, but he’s hot, nice, and he has weed. what’s not to love?
as i drive up to harry’s house and see a decently sized house with a couple cars parked outside. i park on the street and touchup my makeup before walking up to the front door.
before i can chicken out and run away i ring the doorbell.
after a few seconds i hear someone run down the stairs and open the door. there, looking hot as ever, is harry. he’s wearing a white wife-beater tank top, and of course, the heavenly gray sweatpants.
it takes every ounce of self control in my body not to check him out.
“oh hey y/n. come in.” harry smiles at me and opens the door so i can enter his house. i step inside and see the typical suburban house. it’s very clean and there’s voices coming from the kitchen.
“thanks for letting me come over” i look up at harry as he is closing the door behind me.
“yeah for sure. cmon let’s go upstairs you don’t want to meet my parents.” he smirks and nods towards the staircase.
“okay” i nod and follow him up the staircase towards his room. it’s always fun going to other people’s houses and seeing little glimpses of what they’re day-to-day life is really like. it’s easy to put on a persona at school and hide yourself, but at your own home it’s impossible.
harry’s house is extremely nice. his parents have to be doctors or something because this is definitely upper middle class. there are pictures across the walls, awards for each person in the family, and paintings. It looks like harry has a sister… cute.
“that’s pretty.” i say pointing towards the large pairing hung in the middle of the wall. the painting really is beautiful. it was a picture of what looked like the New York skyline at sunset.
harry turns around and looks at the painting and then me. “oh yeah. my mom made that.”
“really? she's talented” i smile and continue following him down the hallway towards his room.
“hm yeah she’s an artist. we have a fuck ton of paintings around the house.” harry shrugs and opens the door to his room with me trailing behind him. “anyways… this is my room. just sit anywhere while i grab my shit.”
i nod and plop down onto the beanbag chair next to his desk. harry hums quietly as he goes over to his drawers and starts rummaging through them. harry’s room is decorated completely with posters, a guitar hung on the wall, and pictures pinned up.
i couldn’t help but admire him for a minute. it really was surprising to me how attractive this man was. theres cute guys, and then theres hot guys… like harry.
he continues looking through his drawers for a minute before pulling out a small paper baggie. i watch him put a couple things into it and then walk over to me.
i take the bag from harry gratefully and look up at him. “how much do i owe you?” i ask while pulling out my wallet.
harry shakes his head and sits down on his bed. “how about you smoke a joint with me and we’ll call it even?”
“really? that sounds like a win-win for me and a lose-lose for you. it’s fine harry i can pay.” i protest while opening my wallet and looking at him expectantly.
“mm nope. sounds like a win-win to me. i get to supply you so you don’t go to that weirdass freshman and i get to smoke with the pretty girl from my math class." he smirks and pulls out a joint shaking it between his fingers teasingly at me. “it’s alright y/n first times on me.” i roll my eyes but sense that he’s not going to give in and let me pay him.
“fine, fine, but next time i’m paying okay?” i never felt good about taking things for free. it made me feel like i owed a large debt to them in the future.
“sure whatever you say, love.” harry shrugs and pulls out his lighter and then pats the spot on the bed next to him. “now get up here with me so you can pay up.”
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ 2 hours later ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
how did i end up straddling harry’s lap? good question! i have no fucking idea.
it started out chill. we were passing the joint back and forth while having a casual conversation. we talked about the bitches at our school, our summer plans, blah blah blah.
it was all going great and chill until harry decided to switch things up. maybe it was the fact that we are both baked, maybe it’s that we’ve had a weird sexual tension since this morning, but it switched up so fast.
it first started when harry made a comment about my lipgloss.
“hm i’ve never had strawberry pot before.” harry smirks and hands the joint back to me. i look at harry confused for a second trying to figure out what he meant.
“what do you mean?”
“i mean… you’re pretty pink lipgloss is getting all over it and it’s making it taste sweet.” he has the most smug look on his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed.
i roll my eyes as harry teases me about my lipgloss. “quit acting like you don’t like it.”
“i never said i didn’t like it! i was just saying, i think i have some lipgloss on too.” he chuckles and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. there was, in fact, lipgloss. oops.
i’m too high to even care so i just start giggling at harry’s fake angry expression. my giggling pulls a small smile onto harry’s lips.
“hey! i’m just trying to be a good friend here. you need to moisturize your lips regularly curly.” i erupt into a fit of giggles as harry simply smirks and takes another drag.
“oh you’re such a good girl trying to keep my lips moisturized.” harry rolls his eyes sarcastically and hands me the joint. i take it him from him and take another hit letting the smoke fill my lungs before turning back to harry.
“seriously harry, i’m a great friend. girls won’t kiss you if you have crusty ass lips.” i try to say that with a serious and straight face but i instantly burst out laughing again.
“wow what would i do without you?” he chuckles and takes the joint from me. “you know now that i’ve tasted your lipgloss… i kind of want to taste those pretty little lips of yours.” harry grins and taps his index finger agains my lips lightly.
i smile and shift so i’m sitting on harry’s lap straddling his hips. “that’s fine with me.”
harry puts the joint down on the ashtray next to his bed and rests his hands on my hips. “really that’s okay with you?”
“mhm” i nod and bring my hands up to play with his curls. harry’s green eyes search mine for a second before placing his hand on my cheek. he hums and traces his thumb carefully across my bottom lip.
“such a pretty thing hm.” he smirks and leans his head forward nudging my nose with his. i smile and play with his curls.
“so… can i have a kiss petal?” harry cups my cheek and leans in. without hesitation i lean in and connect our lips. harry sighs against me and holds my head close to him.
i wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss opening my lips to him. harry bites my bottom lip and pulls away for a second. i smile and look at him. “you’re a good kisser”
harry hums softly and kisses me on the jaw making me blush slightly. his hands grip my hips lightly has his kisses make their way down my neck.
“so fucking pretty, you know that? i’m obsessed with you” harry mumbles against my neck. “how did i not ask you over sooner?”
i smile and shift my hips so i’m sitting closer against him, a light blush painting my cheeks. “you should’ve. i would have said yes.”
“hm that right? i’ll keep it in mind.” he smirks and pulls my hips against him. his kisses continue to travel down my neck before stopping at my collar bone.
“lay down for me y/n” he says while kissing my neck.
i roll off harry’s lap onto my back onto his bed. he smiles and crawls over me. he props his arms up on either side of my head. harry looks so hot above me.
“can i taste you petal?” his bright green eyes turn dark filled with lust as he looked at me desperately. i nod eagerly and press my lips against him once more.
“please harry, need you.” i let out a soft moan as harry nips at my neck and travels down my body until he’s between my legs.
“gonna let me see you y/n?” he asks before pulling down my jeans and tossing them off the bed. i nod and watch as harry smirks up at me. his eyes travel down from my eyes to my core.
“so fucking pretty i swear.” he hums and presses a kiss against my clothes center. i moan quietly as his lips travel down my panties before pushing them to the side.
he pulls my panties to the side and lets out a groan as he presses a sweet kiss to my clit. i gasp and hold harry’s hair tightly.
“you taste so sweet baby.” he hums against my clit, sending vibrations up my body. i tug harry’s hair to escape the delicious torture but he just smiles up at me and continues kissing me. his thick ring clad hands holding my hips against his face.
“please harry- ” i whine and press my hips up against him. he sticks his tongue out flat and runs it up my pussy while keeping eye contact with me.
he pulls away for a second and grabs the joint for a second. his lips wrap around it taking a deep hit while watching me sit there impatiently. he smirks and pulls the joint from his lips pushing it between mine. “hold that for me petal.”
i take the joint willingly and take a hit while harry reconnects his lips with my core. i let out a groan as harry sucks my clit between his lips just as he did with the joint.
my body is racked with pleasure as harry hungrily sucks on my bundle of nerves. my hand holds his curls tightly as he eats me like a starved man.
“fuck harry!” i gasp as harry pushes his middle finger into my tight hole. he continues lapping at my clit while pumping his finger into me. the ring resting at the bottom of his finger left a cool sensation run through my body.
“how are you so bloody wet?” he moans against my core while adding a second finger to the mix. my pussy clenches against him greedily as the sensations filled my heat.
harry moves his fingers faster while wrapping his lips around my clit once more. my hips buck up against him searching for the last bit of stimulation needed before i could let go.
“fuck m’gonna cum harry!” i gasp as he speeds up.
“that’s it pretty girl. let go for me, i wanna taste your sweet mess.” he smirks up at me and adds a third finger. this pushes me over the edge, my body consumed with pleasure. harry helps me ride out my orgasm by lapping at my core gently.
he crawls up my body and hovers over me. “i need to feel you baby. is that okay?” he whispers as he presses kisses to my neck.
i nod and wrap my legs around his hips, pressing my core to the front of his sweats. “please harry.”
harry groans and pushes his bulge against me for some relief. “okay petal. gonna fuck you.” he quickly tugs his sweatpants down and kisses my neck. “ready baby?”
i nod eagerly watching him. he sighs and carefully pushes past my tight entrance. my body eagerly welcomes him as i hold onto harrys shoulders tightly for support.
“oh fuck harry!” i groan as he pushes in all the way. he’s much thicker and longer than i thought he would be. my walls tighten against him tightly as he pushes to the hilt.
“so tight and wet for me.” he sighs and pulls back so it’s just the tip left in. harry moves his hand from my wait to my stomach so it’s resting just below my belly button.
as he pushes back into my cunt his large palm presses down on my stomach. at this angle i’m able to feel all of the veins and ridges decorating his cock. a loud whine slips past my lips as harry continues fucking into me.
he quickly brings a hand to hold over my mouth while the other continues to press down on my stomach. “shh i love hearing your sweet moans baby, but we can’t let my parents here.”
he picks up the pace, and the only sounds heard are the obscene squelching coming from where harry is fucking into me. he changes his angle a little bit and my body instantly floods with pleasure as i gasp.
“there it is.” he smirks and continues pounding into me at that angle. the tip of his cock perfectly hitting my spot as i moan into his hand.
harry moved his hand away from my mouth and brings it down to play with my abused clit. he groans as i clench around him and he picks up the pace.
“so- fucking- tight” he groans and pushes his face into my neck to muffle his moans. his hips continue to snap up into my mine while his fingers move quickly against my bundle of nerves.
i’m so overstimulated from the orgasm before this, so it doesn’t take long for my second to build up. “harry!” i whine as his hips move against mine furiously.
“yeah? gonna cum again for me? that’s good baby, m’gonna cum for you.” he moans against my neck and keeps his quick pace up.
my walls clench around his thick cock tightly as my body finally releases. i bite down onto harry’s shoulder gently to muffle my moans. harry groans out and thrusts a few more times sloppily before letting his release paint my walls.
we both ride out our orgasms slowly for a couple minutes. before harry pulls away shakily and speaks. “we’re doing that again”
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
2 months have past since harry and i first got together. it’s an understatement to say we enjoy each others company. as y/bsf/n said, we’re “fucking like bunnies”
if we weren’t at harry’s house, i was sneaking harry in through my window. luckily, harry’s parents were very chill and always let me come over. i’d really grown to like his mom, sister, and dad. my parents however, had NO knowledge of harry. if they did, i’d be dead.
harry and i are currently cuddled up in my bed at 1am. i always had to wait until my mom and dad are asleep before letting harry in through my window.
so, here we are now, wrapped up in each other whispering about dumb things.
“ugh anyways i hate her bitchass.” im currently complaining to harry about a girl in our class that’s being an ass to me.
“me too.” harry whispers back. his arms wrapped around my waist so im pulled against him. his tight embrace comforts me like nothing else. i can almost forget all the shit i endure at school when i’m with him.
“you don’t even know her.” i giggle as harry presses kisses to my jaw.
“doesn’t matter. i hate anyone who fucks with my girl.”
i roll my eyes and smile at harry’s cheesy comments. he pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. i cuddle into his chest as he starts talking about other things.
“i’m so obsessed with you baby.” he whispers against my neck making goosebumps travel down my spine.
“i’m obsessed with you too.” i grin and kiss a sweet kiss to harry’s cheek. in all honesty it is much more than that. i can feel it, im very quickly falling in love with harry.
“good, because you’re mine now.” he whispers and kisses my neck.
it was WAY too soon to tell harry i loved him. i mean for fucks sakes, i’ve only known him for a few months. he is just one of the few teenage boys that has ever been truly kind to me.
harry and i continue talking about mindless things. both of us are too wrapped up in each other to realize how late it is.
“WHAT THE FUCK?”
my door is burst open as light pours into the room. i immediately sit up and panic fills my body. my dad and mom stand there looking furious as the see harry sitting there next to me.
“i- uh” i don’t even know what to say in this situation. my parents are NOT easy going people. this is quite possibly, the worst case scenario.
“who the fuck is he?” my mom yells as he sees harry sitting up. my dad is completely dead silent which is even scarier to me.
“i-im sorry- this is harry.” i say quietly.
“harry? oh so you’re bringing random guys into your room?” my mom yells loudly.
“no mom! this isn’t a random guy! this is harry, my boyfriend.” i quickly stand up and stand between my parents and harry. i give harry a look saying ‘don’t talk’
“YOUR BOYFRIEND?” she looks absolutely furious screaming her head off at me. my dad is completely silent and just glaring at me and harry.
“i’m sorry okay? we’ve been together for two months and we really like each other.” my eyes are begging my mom to stop yelling in front of harry.
instead, my dad steps in. “how could you bring a boy into your room? let alone be sleeping in the same bed as him!”
“i’m so sorry. i just really like him and wanted to spend time with him!” harry is quietly watching, not interfering with our argument.
“NO! you cannot see this boy anymore! get him out of my house!” my dad yells and points at harry.
“w-what? daddy please no!” i beg him.
“no! you went behind our backs and brought a boy in our house!”
“that’s because i knew you wouldn’t let me see him! please don’t do this!”
“yeah you’re damn right i wouldn’t let you see him. i don’t want my daughter getting knocked up at 18! you’re not even out of high school yet!”
my eyes prick with tears as i desperately try to defend harry. without thinking, the words slip out.
“but daddy i love him!”
everyone freezes. i feel guilt and embarrassment flood my body as the words spill from my lips. my moms mouth drops as she looks between harry and i. my dads angry face dissapears as he looks at me in disbelief. harry is sitting there with a small smile on his face.
“you what?” my dad looks at me with utter disbelief.
“i- i-,” i hesitate and glance at harry. he looks overjoyed at my words despite the situation. “i love him…”
“you love this kid? why? you’re a teenager y/n! you don’t know shit about love!” my dad says firmly.
fuck it
“yes i do dad! i know that harry makes me 10x happier than anyone else on the planet! i feel so completely happy when we’re together! that’s why i brought him over tonight. i was having a shitty day at school and needed to feel happy for once.”
i let out all my emotions to my parents telling them how much i love harry. “you can’t make me stay away from him! i love him!”
my parents look shocked at everything i say to them. they turn to each other and whisper quietly. i stand there unsure as they talk. harry remains silent as he stares at me with a small smile.
“okay y/n… maybe we’re a bit too strict with you” my mom says quietly. “you’re 18 you can have a boyfriend.”
“r-really?” this was coming from the same woman that wouldn’t even let me have a boys number in my phone until i was 16.
“yes. you deserve to be happy. we’re just looking out for you honey. we don’t want you to make a mistake and end up pregnant at 18.”
i nod and look at them with eyes full of gratefulness. “so i can have harry over to the house now?”
my dad sighs and rubs his forehead before nodding. “just no sex under my roof, okay? i don’t want a grandchild yet.” he glares at harry.
harry nods and finally speaks up. “of course sir. i care for y/n a lot. she’s an amazing person and i plan on taking care of her.”
he looks at my mom and then back to me and harry. “fine. but no more sneaking through the window, got it?” he looks at me sternly.
“yeah of course!” i grin and hug my dad tightly. “thank you.”
“okay y/n… walk him out for the night. we’ll continue this conversation later.”
i nod and pull away. my parents exit the room and head towards their bedroom. i turn back to harry and smile.
harry smiles back and gives me a peck on the forehead.
“i love you too petal.”
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
hope you loved this! i definitely plan on writing more for this story.
(i was a lil high when i wrote this so ignore the bad parts hehe)
- xoxo
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maraudersmyloves · 3 days
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Hi, love your writing <3
Anyway, I saw that you wanted some James inspiration, so could you maybe write a fic where reader is studying for her exams (even though she's bored out of her mind) and James tries to cheer her up?
Really just fluff, boyfriend James cheering r up
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─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆。゚. ───
Pairing: James potter x reader
Warnings: mention of sex but no actual smut, cursing (I think)
Word count: 650
Disclaimer: Everything on this Blog is fiction!!!
"Just a break. :☆。゚. ────
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You look over at James' sleeping form, wishing you could be cuddled up against him instead of whacking your head on the table, hoping to get some information inside your brain.
You could swear you've tried every study method you know, but nothing makes understanding and memorizing types of gene mutations that cause specific magic reactions in plans easier or fun. Even if the person explaining the study method swears up and down, said method saved their life during exams.
Maybe it'd be easier if you cared for the topic but unfortunately, you couldn't care less. Especially when you could be cuddling with James instead of memorizing scientific names like Cuscuta oxygenium.
You feel a warm breath on your neck and almost jump, "God, James!! Don't scare me like that," you complain and slap his chest to which he only grins and mumbles a quick "sorry love" before he starts attacking your face with kisses.
It tickles and you can't help but laugh as you weakly push him away. His dramatic kissing noises cause you to snort and squirm away from his soft lips. "Stop it," you giggle. "I need to study."
"Study my dick," he laughed. His laughter only became louder when he saw your judgy expression. You watch him blankly as he holds his stomach, laughing. "Not that funny, Jamie."
He giggles and kisses your cheek "You're right, nothing funny about the way you gag on it." You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you give him a scrutinizing look.
When you just continue to give him a blank stare, James pouts playfully. "Just wanted to bring some laughter into this somber atmosphere."
You frown, "It's not somber, not my fault I actually have to study." You throw yourself back into the chair with a groan when you remember all the notes you still need to summarize and memorize. James steps to the back of your chair and leans over you to look at the notes, "It's not that bad, honey. This looks great!! Smart words and all that."
You give him an annoyed look and the way pity fills his eyes is almost laughable. He feels shitty. Here you are sitting around for days on end studying while he sleeps just to get the same grade on the exam. It's not fair. If you'd let him, he'd give you all the answers with a brain-connecting spell the marauders made. But, it makes you feel dirty, so he doesn't.
He softly kisses your cheek, "I'm sorry, baby." You know what he means. He's sorry that you have to work so hard and the soft tone in which he apologizes for something he couldn't change if he tried almost makes you cry. "Not your fault. It's just exhausting to work so hard every time. I feel like I do nothing but study and when I take a break I can't enjoy it because I don't feel productive."
James carefully, and without a word, picks you up from your chair ignoring your complaints. You want to tell him to put you down and let you study but being out of that goddamn chair, you could swear it already molded itself to the curve of your back, and in your boyfriend's arms feels so good that you can't bring yourself to do anything but melt into him. "What are we doing," you question with a jawn.
"We're getting hot cocoa and then taking a nap." Immediately you feel uncomfortable, you need that time to study. You don't have time for breaks. Apparently, James can read your mind when he lectures you, "Now, before you complain, taking care of yourself is also productive. You're not able to cram any more in that beautiful head of yours if you don't give your brain a break."
You sigh and accept defeat as James proceeds to carry you all the way to the kitchens.
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deathbxnny · 1 day
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hello, aventurine blade and jing yuan with a teen reader thats like lynette from gi? (please do include lynette‘s backstory as well) :3
Hello there, Anon!! Thank you for the request, and I hope you'll like it!<33
Content: Platonic relationships, vague non-descriptive mentions of past child abuse/kidnapping, reader is a young teen, characters are older brother/father figures, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!!
((Not proofread))
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》AVENTURINE
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You and Aventurine found a lot of similarities in eachothers pasts, mainly because you knew how it felt like to suffer at the hands of greedy nobles. He saw a younger him in you, which made him initially, therefore, take you in when you first arrived in the IPC. You were quiet and extremely reserved at the beginning, which he respected in his own slightly teasing way.
He knew his patience eventually paid off when you'd ask him to join you for some tea, where you'd open up about your favorite books or interests. He'd calmly listen to you whilst enjoying that rare moment of relaxation you gave him.
He definitely also teaches you card tricks once he finds out about your little magician's assistant gig you had going on. Aventurine finds a sense of pride in watching you master new skills taught by him, as he silently wonders if all he does for you is enough to set you on the path of having a good life one day. Even if it is one without him around to guide you anymore.
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》JING YUAN
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Jing Yuan doesn't pry about your past more than what was necessary. You were brought to him after you killed the noble that had abused you, and at the sight of your rather young age, he decided that taking you in was a good idea. He didn't mind how cold and reserved you were to him, he was a patient man and had all the time in the world for you.
He eventually began inviting you for tea, where you'd play chess together and speak about topics he slowly found out you were perhaps into. Jing Yuan also definitely made you hang out with Yanqing as well, figuring that having someone of your age around would be helpful. And despite both of you being annoyed by it at first, you two grew to be a very strong team together.
The general makes sure you know that you can always rely on him if your past haunts you. He's not going anywhere and neither are you.
(He definitely also pats your head often, unable to hide his secret cuteness aggression from how adorable your cat ears and tail was. He finds your deadpans funny.)
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》BLADE
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Blade didn't care about where you were from or what made you end up joining the Stellaron hunters in the first place. You were uninteresting, just another kid with a dark past... until you were assigned to work for him, and he therefore became somewhat of your caretaker. Neither of you was thrilled, but you learned to move on and deal with it slowly. Your past was only brought up once, and despite being seemingly indifferent to it, Blade was somewhat impressed by how you were still able to be so calm and collected after all of it. It made him somewhat... easier on you.
As time went on, both of you grew closer as mentor and student in a way, both of you knowing that you can rely on the other when things got bad. He kept your back clear, and you kept his clear. That was the silent deal you struck. Blade definitely trained you to become a master assassin as well, figuring that you'd need it if you wanted to survive in this world. He didn't care if he had to be a bit sterner or even colder, but he knew you'd thank him one day.
Eventually, life would make you part ways one way or another. Whether it was through him finally being relieved of his cursed burdens or you moving on from him as a mentor, he knew it would come to an end. But until then, he figured your company wasn't too bad, as he simply decided to keep being your teacher until fate said otherwise.
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Alrighttt!! I'm sorry this took so long, but as everyone knows, life sucks. Anyhow, I hope this was okay, Anon, and thank you again for the request!!<33
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letstrip13 · 2 days
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💄 - make up
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chris x reader
summary: reader and chris resolve yet another fight.
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, kinda toxic relationship, idk the fight wasn't that bad, use of y/n one time
word count: 1,188
author's note: this is my submission for @bratzforchris and @nicksbestie's writing challenge!! i've never done something like this before because i'm horrible at meeting deadlines. i'm surprised i got this in on time (barely.) hope you enjoy :)
these are the story elements i used: ★ genre - angst and smut ★ location/setting - home ★ plot idea: fight that turns sexy
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“why are you being such an asshole lately?” you shout at your boyfriend as you walk into the bedroom of your shared apartment. this kind of thing had been going on for a while. it's unlikely that either of you even remember what caused all this fighting in the first place. one unresolved argument turned into many smaller ones following it. they were never much, mostly just bickering but they could be enough to ruin both your days.
“i'm the one being an asshole?” chris shouts back from the living room. you can hear his angry footsteps coming towards your bedroom and he stands in the doorway, looking agitated. it seemed that he always looked at you like that lately. “you're the one who always starts this shit. every fucking time, y/n. i'm getting sick of it.”
“i like to fuck with you just to make up with you. ‘cause the way you be screamin’ my name make me wanna make love to you.”
“i'm getting sick of you,” you comment snarkily, just loud enough for him to hear the attitude laced in your tone.
he walks away, clearly exasperated, giving the both of you some much needed separation from each other before things got too heated. you never meant what you said when you were angry, you always spoke without giving your words any thought when you're like that. chris knew that. he was the same way. you both learned not to take each other's anger-fueled insults too personally.
the thing is that you didn't mind the fights too much. sure, he really annoyed you sometimes. but chris was hot when he got angry and you liked seeing him like that. you liked how stubborn he could be, although it was also incredibly frustrating. some things he did were hot; the jaw clenching, the eye rolling, and even the yelling, especially when he was screaming your name. but then there was the way he wouldn't speak to you for hours and would climb into bed with you that night as if nothing happened. that wasn't hot.
“i love it when we make up. go ‘head, ruin my makeup.”
the rare times he did apologize involved him grunting little “i'm sorry's” against your lips between sloppy kisses. or into your ear as he thrusted into you, chasing both your releases. or before pinning your thighs down and eating you out until your legs are shaking and your eyes are welling up with tears of overstimulation.
needless to say, you loved making up with chris after a fight. that's why you started giving him some extra attitude lately. you've been with him long enough to know exactly what sets him off. sure, it wasn't the most healthy relationship but you loved each other and made each other happy.
“i'm staying mad all day so we can let it out tonight.”
and that's what led you here. the rest of the day had come and gone. you and chris had been too petty to say anything to each other and it was getting late. you could hear the tv in the living room where chris had been pretty much the whole day.
you wanted to take a shower and get to bed before chris did. you peeked out of the bedroom and looked at the tv. you recognized the movie he's watching and guessed he was about halfway through which gave you plenty of time. you grab everything you need and head to the bathroom. you turn the water on and undress while you wait for it to get hot. you step in and stand under the water, letting the warmth relax you.
you're not even there for a full minute before you feel a pair of large hands on your waist. it's chris, of course. you turn to face him and he just smirks down at you. “how did you get in here?” you asked, shocked that you didn't even hear him open the door. “i live here.” you roll your eyes at the sarcasm.
“promise me that when you kiss my lips, you'll make it stick. that's the way to shut me up after an argument.”
“oh my god, you're such a-” he cuts you off with a kiss, one hand coming up to cup your cheek while he tightens his grip on your waist. he slowly pulls away, that smirk finding its way back onto his face. “i'm such a what?” “uhhh..” you trail off, completely forgetting the word that was just on the tip of your tongue. “nevermind.” “that's what i thought,” he murmurs, pulling you in again.
he pushes you against the wall as he expertly slips his tongue into your mouth like he's done so many times before. you both know exactly what to do to drive each other crazy. in no time, you're both moaning softly and you can feel his hard cock poking against you. he pulls away, peppering kisses along your neck and collarbone as he trails his hands down to the backs of your thighs.
“can i?” “please.” he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist while he uses his upper body to pin you against the shower wall. he slowly pushes into you, both of you moaning at the feeling.
he starts off slow and gentle, but he seems to get impatient quickly. your dig your nails into his shoulders, moaning as he hits every spot inside of you so perfectly. “you gonna stop giving me so much attitude?” you want to say something sarcastic in response but all that escapes your lips is a moan. chris chuckles softly, “nothing to say now, huh?”
that warm, familiar feeling starts building up in the pit of your stomach. chris is relentlessly fucking you against the wall, both of you a moaning mess at this point. his grip tightens on your thighs, leaving marks for sure, while you're leaving scratches on his upper back. you could be drawing blood right now and he wouldn't care, he's too lost in the moment.
you can feel his cock twitch inside you as he starts to get close but he's holding back, wanting to finish you off first. “fuck, chris-” you cry out as you cum, your walls squeezing around him and pushing him over the edge as well. his movements become sporadic, his hips rutting against you as he groans and shoots his load inside you.
he gives you both a moment to catch your breath before pulling out of you and gently putting you down. he kisses you on the cheek. “so we're good now..?” he says jokingly.
“i hate you,” you mumble and smile into his shoulder as you pull him in for a hug. “i hate you more, my love,” he pulls away and turns you around, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “and i hate to admit it, but you were right.” “i know,” you say with a little laugh. “now, let me wash your hair.”
“attitude, dream of mine when you say that i'm right and i find that it works every time.”
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୨୧⋆。˚ tags: @chrissturniolosbitch @christhopersturniolo @mattscurlygirly @fratbrochrisgf @d3axplr @junnniiieee07 @rubyjaneaxx @leakedsturns @remussbitch @ccolleenn @sturnpooks @ribread03
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dazzlingjaeyun · 2 days
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠
best friend!jay x fem!reader
genre: best friends to lovers, some angst / some fluff
warnings: cussing, slightly jealous!jay
word count: ~3,5k
a/n: ahh i really enjoyed writing this one!! but the ending feels a bit rushed so i apologize for that
↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
you and jay had practically known each other since diapers, being best friends ever since you could remember. although over the years you had been through different friend groups, the two of you always stayed inseparable. in the end, it was always you. you and jay.
since you spent almost every day together, also now you were sitting on his bed across from him, your legs casually resting on top of his thighs while you had your laptop on your lap, typing away a report you had to finish. jay, on the other hand, was silently scrolling through every possible social media site to fight his boredom while waiting for you to be done. his other hand rested on your knee, softly tapping his index and middle fingers on your joggers alternately, as if tapping them along to a beat. being so used to his skinship, his soft touch didn't bother you.
after some more moments in silence with only the sounds of you tapping on your keyboard, you could hear jay sigh and saw him put down his phone from the corner of your eye. "how long are you going to work on this, it's been two hours", he whined.
you looked up from your laptop only to see your best friend pout at you, which made your lips curl up into a smile. "okay, big baby, i'm almost done and we'll watch your annoying movie after", you replied in a teasing tone. jay squinted his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, to which you chuckled before focusing back on your laptop screen.
"i think i should show her the movie too", jay interrupted again. "hm, who her?", you asked, rather inattentively.
jay clicked his tongue. "the girl i like, dumbass"
rolling your eyes, you finally looked up from your laptop again. the past weeks, he had not gone a day without mentioning 'the girl he likes' at least once. although you knew practically everything about him - and his plans with his crush - you still had no idea who she was nor what she looked like and whenever you asked, your friend would turn down your question, claiming you'd find out soon enough.
"yeah, you should watch this movie with her. i don't want to watch it for the 10th time", you replied sarcastically , earning another playfully annoyed look from jay.
"i'm serious, jay. stop saying what you want to do and then never make a move. she might not wait forever", you added, your voice more genuine than before. jay just bit down on his lower lip and nodded, looking to the side to avoid your eyes.
suddenly, you felt bad for what you had said. you didn't want to discourage him. it was quite the opposite; you wanted him to finally take his chance with whoever he had liked for a while now. you closed your laptop, not caring about the unfinished report at that very moment, grabbed a pillow from behind your back and threw it in jay's direction, careful to hit but not hurt him.
"you should really ask her to watch it with you, instead of me. she's not going to believe you're into her if you're stuck on my ass the entire time anyways", you said jokingly, trying to lighten up his mood again and in fact earning a soft giggle from him. he grabbed your laptop off your legs and instead pulled you towards him, your head hitting his chest softly.
"whatever you say", he said, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv while you got comfortable, resting your head on his chest and putting one arm around his torso. "now, it's movie time", he said, indicating you should stop speaking now, before starting the movie he had waited to watch with you and pulling your body just a tiny little bit closer to his. and words could not describe how comfortable you felt in that very moment. how completely comfortable and safe.
you didn't even notice that you had fallen asleep on jay's chest. it was not until he moved very slowly and carefully, trying the best he could to not wake you up. you slowly opened your sleepy eyes and lifted your head a little.
jay sighed at the realization. "i'm sorry... i was really trying to not wake you", he almost whispered, his voice soft and quiet. his words so carefully spoken, as if he could break you in half if he said them any louder.
only then you realized his fingers tangled in your hair - clearly the aftermath of having played with them while watching the movie.
"it's your fault i fell asleep in the first place. i always do when you play with my stupid hair", you managed to crack a joke, despite your tiredness.
jay scoffed jokingly. "stupid hair?", he asked as if you had insulted him. "you know they're soft and it's...", he stopped as if searching for the right word "...it's healing to play with them."
healing? the fact that he spoke of something as simple as playing with your hair as healing set something off. a weird, unfamiliar feeling in your stomach - one that you couldn't really classify.
"mh..." that was all you could reply, feeling overwhelmed and confused at the sudden change of feelings you experienced.
"you know... you'd make a good boyfriend. i'm sure the girl you like would enjoy having you caress her hair until she falls asleep", you just blurted out, mind still foggy by the state you were in.
you could feel jay's chest stop moving for a split second, indicating that he was holding his breath, before you heard him gulp.
"hm, probably"
.。*゚+.*.。
"i'm so going to win this time", you said, self-confident, as you started the last and final round of the race, eyes fixated on the screen and hands wrapped tightly around the controller.
you were so caught up in the game that you got startled by the loud ringtone covering the sounds of the game. you tried to catch a glimpse of your phone to see who was calling, going back and forth from your phone to the tv screen - the inattentiveness causing your game character to hit an obstacle, much to the joy of your competitor. as you lost the game, you just dropped the controller in your lap and instead grabbed your phone to finally answer the video call.
"you better have a good reason to call me now, jay! i lost mario kart because of you!", you snapped, before your best friend could even greet you.
mario kart? he thought. that was your tradition. yours and jay's. playing mario kart on a friday evening. but he was clearly not with you right now. and for some reason, it bugged him. a lot. why would you carry on your tradition with someone else? but did he even have the right to claim a shared activity as solely yours and his? did he have the right to get hurt or even angry? he wasn't sure, so he tried to shrug it off.
he forced himself to let out a faked laugh. "who did you lose to?", he asked, trying to make it seem as if it wasn't a big deal for him. trying to not seem too curious about who you had replaced him with.
you moved your phone to the side, revealing your competitor, before moving it back for the camera to capture you only.
"huh? jake?", jay asked, visibly confused.
"i'll get some water and let the two of you talk", the boy in question chimed in as he stood up from the bed, giving you a short smile.
you looked up at him a little too long for jay's liking, before moving your eyes back to the phone screen. "so, why were you calling anyways?", you asked as jake walked out of your room.
"him, seriously? are you stupid or do you simply not care that he only wants to-"
"jay. i asked a question", you cut him off rather sternly.
he let out a long sigh at the tone of your voice, at the way your words left no room for further discussion. and if he thought about it, he also didn't have the right to tell you who to hang out with, after all.
"did you hear about this new café opening next week?", he finally carried on with the original reason why he called you. you nodded in response, so jay continued "they'll have like a small opening event, i wanted to ask you if you want to go with me?"
"um... well, jake asked me already", you replied, your voice now calmer and quieter, feeling almost guilty for turning jay down.
"what did you say?", he asked hurriedly, as if in a rush to find out about your answer. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "i said yes. i thought-... you can ask the girl you like?"
"oh... um...", he started stuttering, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his head awkwardly, "i did but she already had plans that day"
you just nodded. another unfamiliar feeling bubbling up in your stomach. the fact that he had already asked her before even considering you was somehow... irritating? he had asked her. not you. you were the second choice, after the first was not available. and suddenly, it crashed down on you. worries, fear. suddenly, you felt this irrational, immense fear of losing your best friend. of watching him just slip through your fingers, taking your years of friendship along with him.
"you okay? you're zoning out again", jay pulled you out of the spiral of thoughts. when your eyes focused back on him, you could make out the worried expression on his face.
without thinking about it, you just started babbling out your thoughts. "i'm scared that this will ruin our friendship, jay". his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to object, but again was interrupted by you. "sorry, i-"
you didn't get to finish as this time you were interrupted by the door opening again and jake stepping back into your room, a glass of water in each hand.
"you know what, jay... we'll talk about that another time, yeah? i'll see you, good night", you hurriedly hung up before he could even reply, leaving him on the other end of the line staring at his phone in surprise for a few seconds.
i'm scared that this will ruin our friendship, your words echoed in his head. oh, me too, he thought.
.。*゚+.*.。
the day of the event came by and you were just finishing to touch up your make up when you heard your door bell ring; the signal that jake was there and ready to pick you up.
the two of you drove to the café in his car in a comfortable silence, jake's voice softly humming along to the songs on the radio barely audible to you.
even after you had spent an hour or two at the café, trying not only the beverages but also some treats, the two of you still hadn't run out of topics to talk and laugh about.
you were so caught up in the conversation with jake that it took you some minutes to make out the tall figure standing in front of the table you two shared. only when you looked up finally, you saw your best friend standing there, practically piercing holes through your body with his eyes.
thanks to the video call a couple of days before, jay knew exactly where you'd be on that day. and with who. and for some reason, he felt the strong urge to check on you. an urge he couldn't fight, so he gave in and made his way to the same place. he just had to make sure you were okay after all, right? that's what a best friend would do if their best friend went out with a guy that seemed fishy. right?
but seeing the two of you just chatting with each other, laughing with each other, sitting a little too close to each other... he didn't know if he should feel relieved that your suspicious date was much less of a threat he had thought. or if he in fact should feel even more threatened. because what if you'd end up liking the guy with the golden retriever-like eyes more than your best friend?
it was your scent tickling his nose that brought him back to reality. only then he realized the hug you had pulled him in, immediately reciprocating the gesture and wrapping his arms around your waist. just a little tighter than he would usually do.
jake, still sitting on the sofa, watched the scene in front of him, biting the inside of his cheek while jay's head was almost buried in the crook of your neck, taking in as much of your scent as possible.
finally, you let go of the way longer than normal hug, a slight shade of pink covering your cheeks. you quickly sat back down again, taking your iced coffee and gulping it down as if it could cool your face and stop the heat from rushing to your cheeks. why were you blushing anyway?
"hi jake", jay finally spoke up, looking down to said boy, who just nodded his head in return. "mind if i join you guys?"
"actually, yeah. i mind.", jake opposed.
jay was quick to reply, before you could even open your mouth "well good thing i only care about my best friend's opinion", emphasizing the possesive pronoun as if you were solely his property, not dared to even be looked at by anyone else.
"geez, fine. i was gonna head home anyways", jake said while standing up, "have a good time together then". and before you could hold him back, hell, before you could even say something, jake was already out the door.
your eyes followed him until he was out of sight and then went back to look at jay. although he hadn't intended for this to happen, he couldn't say he wasn't satisfied with the outcome nonetheless. until...
"what the fuck, jay?!"
if you weren't in public, you would have probably screamed at him. jay's eyes widened at your reaction. in all the years you had known each other, you had barely ever raised your voice at him in a serious manner. but he could tell that you were very serious right now.
"i'm... i'm sorry, i didn't mean to- he's just not good for you and-", he started stuttering out, before you cut him off.
"did you see him acting anyhow weird towards me? no. cause the only one who's acting weird is you, jay!"
he gulped. "but i'm your-"
"my what?", you interrupted again. "my best friend? right. not my parents, not my boyfriend. you're no one to tell me who to go out with!", you snapped.
"just because you don't have the balls to ask the stupid 'girl you like' out, you have to ruin my day as well?" you finally stood up and grabbed your bag. "for fucks sake, jay, get yourself together." you gave him one last glare, before storming off the café as well, making sure to hit his upper arm with your shoulder as you passed him. leaving him with a shocked face and a mind filled with so many thoughts, yet so empty, not able to say a word.
.。*゚+.*.。
days passed and you did not speak to neither jake nor jay. whereas the latter had tried to contact you several times, jake had not reached out to you as much. you weren't happy about that but you weren't exactly hurt or upset either.
when it came to jay, a part of you was still mad at him, while another part of you wasn't. one minute you'd want to talk to him, and the next you'd damn yourself for that thought. safe to say your feelings and thoughts were just a rollercoaster at this point, and you were nowhere near sorting them out. the only constant: confusion.
the sudden ring of your door bell pulled you out of another never ending thought process. you stood up from your bed and made your way to the door, opening it without peeking through the small hole before. instant regret hit you as you saw who was standing right in front of you.
"jay?"
"hey... can i come in?"
hesitantly, you stepped aside, not able to reject your best friend, no matter how much you wanted to tell him to go home. after all, you had your reasons for not picking up the phone, not answering the texts. you didn't want to talk to him. not as long as you had no idea about what to think - what to feel.
jay entered, a big bag on his back and just naturally walked past you and to the living room as if you had invited him to do so. you followed him with quick steps.
"i never said to go-"
you gave up as you saw him getting comfortable on the sofa already. he opened his bag, pulled out his guitar and finally looked at you. then he patted on the sofa, signaling you to sit down next to him.
"i want to show you something"
you were, yet again, confused, but curiosity got the best of you and you decided to take a seat next to him.
"i wrote this myself", he explained further and although you were expecting exactly what he'd say next, it still felt like a punch in the gut. "um... for the girl i like"
without thinking about it, you stood up again, ready to tell him to just leave, when he grabbed your hand and pulled you down again.
"i just want to hear your opinion on it", jay said in a soft voice.
"fine."
and so he began letting his fingers slide over the strings elegantly, playing the chords so perfectly, while making everything look so effortless at the same time. his voice was soft, yet carried so much power. and in an instant, nothing else mattered. not what happened at the café, not his bold act of just walking in now, not your anger.
just jay's voice and the sounds of his guitar. so heavenly. and so not for you.
suddenly, your confusion sweeped away and tears started filling your eyes when the realization hit you. and it hit hard.
the realization of why everything about his not so little crush on this girl had bothered you so much. the realization of what you had actually felt when you had woken up on his chest with his hand in your hair a couple of weeks ago. and that you were not only scared of the friendship changing when he asked her out first. even the realization of why you were blushing after he had hugged you tightly in the café.
but mostly, the realization that you wanted nothing more than to be her.
jay's voice fell silent abruptly. he almost tossed away the guitar and instead brought both of his hands to your cheeks, cupping your face. his thumbs gently stroked your cheeks, sending goosebumps down your spine and although your vision was blurry, you could see his worried eyes fixated on yours.
"why are you crying?" jay asked carefully, as if he barely dared to break the silence.
you tried shaking your head but jay's hands on both sides of your face held you more tightly, almost like he was scared of losing you forever if he let go now.
"i'm sure she'll like it", you whispered, worried that if you spoke up, your voice would break.
jay inhaled deeply, his breath audibly shaking. "does she?"
you furrowed your eyebrows. "how would i-"
"do you?"
pang. your heart dropped to your knees. your stomach sank. your mind started racing and your heartbeat doubled its speed likewise.
pang. the next realization.
he had shown you the movie he wanted to show her.
he had asked you to join him to the event, but you had plans already.
he had shown you the song he wrote for the girl he likes.
for you.
all of those moments were about you, all along.
suddenly, the reason why he had never shown you a picture of her seemed so obvious.
the facts that he had never made a move and that he had reacted this way towards jake suddenly had reasons; fear of ruining the friendship and straight up jealousy.
as if to confirm your mind that was running laps around everything that had happened between you and your best friend the past weeks, you heard jay's soft words "it's you. it's always been you."
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
thank you so much for reading up until here. it means the entire world to me and i hope you guys enjoyed it. please do not copy. ❤︎︎
feel free to leave any feedback & interact!
- liz aka dazzlingjaeyun
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coolestzed · 2 days
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Alright, I’ve been holding this inside for years but I’m finally gonna say it.
Misako haters are actually fucking annoying at this point.
They always were to me, but now, they’re just OBJECTIVELY an annoyance. And they need to STOP.
They take literally ANY chance to slander her, even when it’s completely unwarranted. Like, I’d just look at a picture of her on Pinterest, and there’d be multiple comments going "the world’s worst mother". Or I’d see content about Koko and there’d always be comments comparing her and Misako and going like "Koko way better fuck Misako".
I’d even see a fucking meme and people would slander Misako. Like they couldn’t resist.
And that’s not even mentioning his people constantly make her seem way worse than she actually is. Im not gonna quote everything, but basically they act like she never does good things for Lloyd. That she doesn’t care about him at all! And it’s just- so WILDY out of character!! And it’s the same vice versa! I saw a funny Ninjago video the other day with a "your mom" joke and someone in the comments was like "jokes on you, Lloyd would never call Misako mom". I’m just?????? Yes he DOES????? ALL THE TIME???
People just act like their relationship is nonexistent! Like they don’t care about each other, or that Misako doesn’t care about Lloyd! Which is OBVIOUSLY not true!
People claim that she disappears every other season but the only seasons she was absent in are 12 and 13. Also, she has a job. She goes on expeditions. Obviously she’s not there 100% of the time. And she and Lloyd clearly spend time together off screen.
People don’t even acknowledge the reason why she left in the first place. They act like she dropped him off at a boarding school and dipped to take a vaycay. She was literally trying to stop her husband and son from having to fight to the death. You ever think about that? You ever think about how SHE felt in the situation? With her husband being consumed by evil and later being banished, and learning that he and their son would have to fight each other? She was HORRIFIED and GRIEVING! Ultimately she did it to save her family. It doesn’t make leaving Lloyd right but it’s understandable.
But apparently not to almost all of the fandom.
Most of y’all, completely ignore that, and everything else that came after season 2.
Misako constantly being worried about Lloyd in Tournament of Elements and Possession.
Both of them spending Day of the Departed together.
Her getting/building the Destiny’s Shadow as a birthday gift for Lloyd.
How she supported, fought beside, and risked her life for Lloyd in Hunted.
How she wanted to stay and fight with him during MoTO but only went inside because Lloyd urged her to protect the civilians.
Not to mention just their general interactions. THEY’RE ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER!!! Do you know how many times they hug?!
And this dialogue here:
"Aren’t you going to kiss your mother goodbye?"
"Mooom, we've-we've talked about this-"
WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?!
Lloyd and Misako have a good, healthy and loving relationship. Misako has long since made up for her mistake and they’ve moved on.
Yet THE FANDOM REFUSES TO!!!
EVERYONE, TO THIS DAY, STILL TREATS HER LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!
I CAN’T EVEN COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES PEOPLE HAVE HAD OVERDRAMATIC TANTRUMS FROM HER JUST EXISTING.
IT MAKES ME SO UNREASONABLY ANGRY.
AND THE FACT THAT I’VE SOMEHOW BEEN SEEING EVEN MORE MISAKO HATE DURING AND AFTER MOTHERS DAY IS ACTUALLY APPALLING.
NOT EVEN FUCKING ENDEAVOR FROM MHA GETS THIS MUCH HATE AND HE’S DONE MUCH WORSE TO HIS FAMILY.
IT. HAS. BEEN. OVER. 16. SEASONS. AND. A. MOVIE.
GET. OVER. IT.
*deep breath*
Look, she’s not perfect. Obviously. She fucked up. But who in this series hasn’t? She came back, and she’s made sure to be a better mother to Lloyd. He forgave her, and they have a good relationship now. They’re close.
She wouldn’t be as hated if the writers didn’t do her dirty. Her introduction wasn’t handled the best, and having her and Lloyd have a more in depth discussion would’ve made the reunion and forgiveness feel less rushed and forced. That love triangle with Wu and Garmadon certainly didn’t do her any favors either. 😑
Regardless, her character’s gotten better over the seasons. Again, she and Lloyd and close and have a good relationship.
But hardly anyone acknowledges that, almost everyone in the fandom hyper fixates on that one mistake from years ago. They don’t pay attention to anything else. Like how she’s a better mother, or how she’s just a generally good person.
You aren’t supposed to judge characters or irl people solely on their past mistakes. Especially when they’ve already made up for them. Thats why the "Misako’s a horrible mother" statement is always bullshit to me.
Seriously, Misako’s been a part of Lloyd’s life longer than she’s been absent from it at this point.
The amount of passionate, unforgiving hate she gets is so undeserved and over the top. Too many people are projecting their own issues onto her. Or just being plain hateful. It’s not fair to define her entire character on a single mistake that she’s long made up for.
And it’s definitely not fair to people that actually like Misako. Often times on the few positive posts about her, there’d be Misako haters in the notes or reblogs complaining about her or insulting her, or just stating they hate her but love the content. And that is completely uncool and rude. It’s so unnecessary. You don’t do that, that’s so shitty. The again Misako haters have a habit of spouting unnecessary hate. Like it’s a terminal condition they have.
So, please, for the love of god, COOL IT. Stop and think, try to ACTUALLY look at her character without the veil of blind hatred.
If you still dislike or hate her, fine! But if you’re gonna detest her, at least hate her as she is and don’t make her worse than she actually is to justify hating her more.
And PLEASE stop bashing her at every turn, it’s annoying, upsetting, unwarranted, unnecessary, and just not good.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
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codacheetah · 1 day
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Hey, so, the dagger conversation, right?
You know the one. You loop with tears 20+ times, Loop goes "haha tears so annoying right!" and then you pester Loop about being able to kill yourself with your dagger until. They get possessed.
Yeah, so, uh. Loop getting possessed. Why is that? What takes hold of them in this moment, and why is it now that Loop defying Siffrin is met with such severe pushback?
I think Siffrin accidentally bound Loop with a wish, in which they were forced to give Siffrin "permission" to use the dagger in order to fulfill the wish's conditions. (Explanation under cut.)
So. Wishes. What do we know about them? Well, we know that Wish Craft requires a combination of ritual and intent to perform. You must have a strong desire, and for this desire to reach the Universe, you have to perform some kind of action that opens the line of communication. We... don't know, fully, what rituals exist, but we do know that a significant part of Wish Craft rituals is repetition of certain numbers, one of which being three.
Now let's consider the dagger conversation. Loop asks Siffrin if they're annoyed yet, having to find a Tear every time they want to loop, before saying there's no faster way. You then have the option of agreeing, or mentioning your dagger. If you keep pushing, Loop gets angry and tells Siffrin that they don't want him to use the dagger. Something important to note about the following text choices is that, up until the third time you insist on using your dagger, you have the option to back out.
And then the third time. Loop gets angry at Siffrin for pushing the issue, and Siffrin replies "And who are you to tell me what to do?!" Loop tries to say something, before...
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Loop gets possessed. Siffrin repeats his intent to do something (in this case, use his dagger to kill himself) three times, and Loop, on the third instance, suddenly loses the ability to defy Siffrin on the matter.
Recall the "SAY ITS NAME" sequence with the King. Siffrin and the King attempt to say the Island's name, violating whatever wish has its hold on the Island, and suffer physical injuries (to the point of death!) for doing this. Loop tries to rebuke Siffrin, and they experience sudden pain. And then... they loop. We know, because of the twohats fight, that Loop has the capability to loop independently of Siffrin. I believe that's what happened here, as well. They then are possessed, giving Siffrin "permission" to use the dagger, before looping once more.
It's just. I really don't know how to explain what happened to Loop without attributing it to Wish Craft.
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Universe stuff indeed.
There is, of course, the question of "hey if Wish Craft can just Do That then isn't it likely that you could just force people to do whatever you want?!"
Well. I don't think that's likely. Remember Loop's role. They're here to help Siffrin. It's part of their own wish. And what constitutes helping Siffrin? Guiding them to keys, pointing out dead ends, giving you tutorials.
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We know that combined wishes can have incredible levels of power. See: the timeloops.
It of course goes without saying that I sincerely doubt Siffrin would ever purposefully force Loop into this position, even at their worst. It's just not something he would do. We know Siffrin uses Wish Craft somewhat liberally and unconsciously, even within the loops, making a wish for strength/power/speed at the Change God statue, sharpening the KeyKnife. However, Wish Craft is... deeply caked in the general concept of "unintended consequences." I wouldn't put "violently taking over your mind and body" above the Universe.
TLDR; Siffrin holds the desire of "let me use my dagger" and accidentally Crafts it into a wish through the use of ritual (repetition 3 times). Loop is subject to "help" Siffrin, and through defying this role, they violate the conditions of Siffrin's wish. In response to Loop looping back to avoid physical injury/death, the Universe commands Loop's vessel to force the wish's conditions to be fulfilled in the most "direct" way possible.
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