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goodvibesatpeace · 5 years

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Relationships: 10 Soulmate Love Myths

When we were young we listened to jovial stories about princes and princesses falling in love and getting married. We were taught that we only have one true love out there, and that this person (who is always the opposite gender) completes us.

As we grow older many of us seek to fulfil this romantic ideal. Some of us spend years pining and searching for the “perfect” lover who can tick all the boxes and match all of our criteria. In fact, some of us even carry around a mental idea of what our soulmates will look like, sound like, and behave like.

Many of us think we know what we want in a person, when in fact we don’t. And sometimes, when someone not quite matching our description comes along, we shut ourselves off, missing the opportunity.

To those of us who have experienced severe emotional and mental wounding in our lives, soulmates appear as a kind of holy mecca or “promised land.” When we feel incomplete, lonely and disconnected from ourselves, the ideal of soulmate love becomes a beacon of hope promising to save us. Soon we start sincerely believing that our beloved will “complete us,” and thus make our lives meaningful again.

Deep down many of us believe that there is at least one person out there who will fulfill all of our needs and desires. In fact, such a warped belief is what causes such high divorce rates and relationship dysfunction running rife in our societies.

There are so many harmful myths about soulmates that circulate through our cultural dialogues. These myths end up as rigid stories and ideals within our minds. In fact, these ideals and beliefs are actually responsible for limiting our spiritual growth and capacity to mature as divine beings. Believing that anything outside of yourself will complete or make you whole is not only misguided, but highly dangerous to your well-being.

So with this in mind, let’s explore 10 of the most common soulmate love myths out there:

Myth 1. You can “find” your soulmate.

First of all, it’s important to drop the illusion of control. Here’s a wake up call: you have no power over when, where or how your soulmate will appear. All you can realistically do is be open and receptive to meeting your soulmate. The human ego tends to believe that it can control life. But life can’t be controlled. Life is just as wise, wild and mysterious as it is frustrating! Our soulmates often appear “out of the blue” when we least expect them to. But it’s also quite common to intuit, sense or dream about your soulmate before they suddenly appear in your life.

Myth 2. What you want in your soulmate is what you’ll get.

We tend to approach relationships with preconceived notions of what we want or need. So many articles out there that I’ve read recommend “visualizing your soulmate” so as to “attract them” into your life. However, this is another trick of the ego. The law of attraction doesn’t quite work that way. It is your thoughts and beliefs that reflect your reality. Your soulmate often isn’t someone you consciously desire, but someone you unconsciously attract and need for inner growth.

Myth 3. Soulmates will stay with you no matter what.

This is another highly harmful myth that creates a lot of unnecessary pain. As a species we find great comfort in the thought of “always and forever” (hence why marriage is so appealing to us). But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes our soulmates stay for a season, and sometimes they stay for a lifetime.

Myth 4. We only have ONE soulmate.

This point is a matter of personal opinion. However, I believe it is possible to have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. Talking to many people about their thoughts and experiences on love, I’ve discovered that a great number have had “multiple” soulmate experiences. Each was different, precious and life-changing in varied ways. I do, however, believe that we only have one twin flame relationship.

Myth 5. Soulmates are always romantic/sexual.

On the contrary, soulmate relationships can be completely platonic with no sexual or romantic feelings involved. In other words, your soulmate could simply be your best friend in the world.

Myth 6. Soulmates are human.

We think of soulmates in terms of humans loving other humans. But many people have felt intense and strong bonds with animals and pets that transcend human language.

Myth 7. Soulmates are the opposite gender.

Religion and tradition would have us believe that soulmates are heterosexual in nature. In reality, love is free: it is not restricted by what is thought of as “right” or “wrong.” Your soulmate could very well be of the same gender as you. If you identify as heterosexual this will obviously come as a great shock to you. However, it will ultimately encourage you to reclaim your authentic sexuality.

Myth 8. Soulmates are single.

Love is a complex emotion. It is true that “we can’t choose who we love” — love flows freely and runs wild. Who can claim to understand the mysteries of the heart? As such, many people are tormented by the fact that the one they love is already in a relationship or marriage. This is not the same as stimulation seeking or lust: soulmates resonate much deeper than great chemistry, sex or compatible interests. As such, soulmates in this position must choose to move on, or break up marriages. While both options are painful, both are ultimately catalysts for growth.

Myth 9. Soulmate relationships are effortless.

There is a widespread assumption that soulmate love is easy and stress free. This belief adds to the desirability and idealization of such a relationship. However, soulmate relationships require time, effort, patience and diligence like any other relationships. Without conscious maintenance, even soulmate relationships will fail.

Myth 10. Soulmates complete you.

Perhaps the most destructive myth of all, the thought that our soulmates complete us is not only misleading but it is also highly self-disrespecting. We are taught to believe that our soulmates are our “missing halves” when in fact they are helpers and catalysts of our spiritual growth. The belief that our soulmate “completes us” is so popular because it encourages us to bypass responsibility for our happiness and wholeness. It’s much easier to put the burden and pressure on others! So many people enter relationships believing their soulmate will give them everything they need. This unfortunately leads to issues such as codependency, toxic enabling and self-betrayal.

Instead of looking outside for completion, why not look inside of your own precious and unexplored soul? Everything — all the love, acceptance and joy you need — is waiting there to be found.

Some final parting words: learn to completely love, forgive and cherish the person you are. This is the best way to both attract, and bring harmony to your soulmate relationship.

#relationship #love #soulmate #sexuality #gender

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zalrb · 6 years

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OK. So.

Considering the hype around KW’s newest interview about Dawson’s Creek and to some extent The Vampire Diaries, I am breaking down the parts that pertain to Stefan and Elena.

As an anon said, Kevin worded things very carefully in this interview but I think you just have to look at the nuances and subtleties of what he’s saying.

And Dawson and Joey are soul mates, while Joey and Pacey are the romantic version of that connection.

Soul mates are not always your romantic love. The way that I see it, Dawson and Joey ended up together. They're soul mates forever. And they have that deep bond of friendship that will never, ever go away. But her romantic love for Pacey was who she wanted to be with and share her life with. And in a weird way they're all soul mates. Dawson and Pacey were always going to be best friends.

So I find this telling:

The way that I see it, Dawson and Joey ended up together. They're soul mates forever. And they have that deep bond of friendship that will never, ever go away. But her romantic love for Pacey was who she wanted to be with and share her life with.

Essentially, Joey and Dawson are simply soulmates and that’s a fact. They don’t get a choice in their connection because their connection just exists, they just are soulmates, they can never be apart, they can never outgrow this bond, Joey and Dawson can be with hundreds of other romantic partners but they’ll always be together, it can’t be helped, changed, stopped or sanded down. And that doesn’t mean that they’re soulmates against their will, it means they have a spiritual connection that no one can touch and they don’t choose to have this connection, they just met each other and were bonded for life. They are soulmates.

But her romantic love for Pacey was who she wanted to be with and share her life with.

But with romantic love, she does get a choice in what partner she wants, she doesn’t just have this transcendent, never-changing connection with her romantic partner, she can choose that and she chose Pacey.

And in a weird way they're all soul mates. Dawson and Pacey were always going to be best friends.

Earlier in the interview Kevin says this:

This story was always a coming-of-age story in which I tried to break the mold and do a different version of 90210 and to do things differently. So why can't we redefine or at least show another side of what soul mates are? That's what I wanted to do.

So basically to Kevin and within the Dawson’s Creek universe, there are multiple kinds of love and soulmates and so Dawson and Joey are soulmates in a way Dawson could never be with Pacey but because they’ll always be best friends, they’re a different kind of soulmate. And Kevin doesn’t say that Pacey and Dawson ended up together and that their bond will never, ever go away, he says that they’ll always be best friends in the way that you have a really close friend from childhood and they’ll always be your friend. It’s idealistic but there isn’t the same romanticism there.

I watched this show when it originally aired and have always been in the minority who wanted to see Dawson end up with Joey romantically.

Me too. It's hard for me to express that but I am Team Dawson. Even though I wrote it the other way, 100 percent, if you asked me, I'm Team Dawson.

As in Joey should have wound up with Dawson romantically?

It ended the way it was supposed to end — but I am Team Dawson. It's always Dawson and Joey forever. And in the same way — and I hate to say this and no one gets it — but in my heart of hearts it's Stefan and Elena forever [on The Vampire Diaries]. What Stefan did for Elena was the ultimate act of love. How can it not be Stefan and Elena?! It's tragic love, but it's love. Life and afterlife is not easy! [Laughs.]

So this:

I watched this show when it originally aired and have always been in the minority who wanted to see Dawson end up with Joey romantically.

Me too. It's hard for me to express that but I am Team Dawson. Even though I wrote it the other way, 100 percent, if you asked me, I'm Team Dawson.

Is like that Joss Whedon quote he has about Spuffy vs Bangel where Joss says for him, he liked the idea of Spike and Buffy but for the show, it was always Buffy and Angel, Spike and Buffy are for “him” but Buffy and Angel are for the ages, that’s basically what Kevin is saying here, for him, Joey and Dawson end up together romantically and spiritually but for the show, he thought it was best for them to end up together non-romantically, which he sort of states beforehand:

You said at the ATX TV Festival's writer's room reunion a couple years ago that you always envisioned Joey ending up with Dawson. How much did you struggle writing how things ultimately would end with them?

It was agonizing! And painful! I actually wrote the ending with them together and then something was troubling me about it.

Now this:

As in Joey should have wound up with Dawson romantically?

I find this very interesting because Stefan and Elena didn’t need to be brought up here. Like when he mentions The Vampires Diaries beforehand, I understand that because he’s talking about the writing process and how you want to honour the beginning but also want to show that people have changed from the beginning and he references The Vampire Diaries as another example of what he’s talking about but here, we could’ve just left it at Dawson and Joey, Kevin, there was no need to go into Stefan and Elena.

And I don’t think Kevin is comparing the non-romantic aspect of Dawson and Joey’s relationship to Stefan and Elena’s and it’s because in his other interviews when he talks about the TVD finale, he doesn’t speak about Stefan and Elena not ending up together the way he talks about Dawson and Joey not ending up together because this is what he says:

"We were torn between Damon and Stefan," Williamson says, before confessing, "I'm a Stelena [fan]. I've gone on record as a Stelena [fan]. It's Stefan and Elena for me. That's who, in another universe, that's how I would have ended the show. However, we lost Elena in the sixth season."

"There was a conversation of getting her back for an entire season," he says. "If we'd had her back for all of the eighth season, we could have worked our way back there [to Stefan and Elena]. And I would have loved to explore that. But we didn't. Her movie schedule didn't permit it. We only had one episode. That was tough. So there was some choice to be made."

When it came to choosing who Elena would end up with, "it had to be Damon," Williamson says. "Where we left our storyline, she was with Damon when she left. And so there was no other way to circle back around to Stefan."

He pauses, then continues, "If there was any other conversations, we ended on this one. This show was always about Stefan being the hero, and if Stefan could not have Elena, Stefan could do this very nice thing of giving his brother the chance to live with Elena."

Damon and Elena have to end up together for Kevin because of where the show left off in season six not because it “felt’ right, not because he thought it was the right choice, not because Elena chose a romantic love with Damon, it’s because they didn’t have time to go back to Stefan. I have read quite a few interviews of Kevin talking about why he scrapped Dawson and Joey as romantic love and soulmates and it’s because he thought it did a disservice to his characters not because the timing of it was wrong, he put his personal feelings about being Team Dawson aside and did what he thought was right for the characters:

"Dawson seemed like the obvious answer and once I got into writing the first hour. … This isn't what the show set up to be. Maybe that's where it started but it evolved and it ended up as something else. I wanted it to be a twist on the teen genre but also wanted it to be surprising, honest and real and say something about soul mates and what soul mates can be. That's why we did it that way,"

With Stefan and Elena, he gives into the timeline of the show and puts Elena with Damon but not before Stefan can show her a true act of love:

And in the same way — and I hate to say this and no one gets it — but in my heart of hearts it's Stefan and Elena forever [on The Vampire Diaries]. What Stefan did for Elena was the ultimate act of love. How can it not be Stefan and Elena?! It's tragic love, but it's love. Life and afterlife is not easy! [Laughs.]

And he has Elena repay that love by having her at the graveyard, they are emphasized because they are the true love story of the show and Damon comes in later as the third point. Damon and Elena don’t even speak, we don’t even see their lives together, they kiss and hug and hold hands and die, they do perfunctory things, a checklist of things, but the emotional story and the emotional weight and the romance and the 99% of the dialogue is about Stefan and Stefan and Elena and Damon and Stefan.

So this really just seems like him saying that TVD ended the way it did because it had to (and not because it was right for the characters but because of timing) but that doesn’t take away from the true love story of the show which is Stefan and Elena.

Just my thoughts.

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lati-will · 7 years

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The Difference Between Soulmates & Life Partners

Soul Mate: Someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lesson has been learnt, physical separation usually occurs.

Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There is a mutual feeling of love and respect and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants.

Everyone wants to meet their Soulmate. In fact, one of the most common questions I receive in my readings and coaching sessions is- “When am I going to meet my Soulmate?”

We have many Soulmates in this life but their purpose is all the same- they are here to challenge and awaken us so our soul can evolve into a higher state of consciousness.

Our Soulmates always arrive when we are ready for them and not a moment sooner. They arrive when we are ready to learn the lessons that we were destined to fulfill.

Soulmate relationships are often not forever, this is because sometimes the relationship can be too intense or there is a certain karmic energy to the relationship that sees it come to a close once the necessary lessons have been learnt.

Soulmates can also be friends and relatives; they don’t always have to be romantic partners. Regardless of this, you will always feel a strong, energetic connection or a past life history together.

Many of us spend years obsessing about meeting a Soulmate, but fail to notice what we are really asking for. When we ask for a Soulmate we are really asking to grow and develop in consciousness, and not understanding this can sometimes block the energy from coming to us.

If you really want to connect with a Soulmate, you need to align with your own soul. You need to discover who you are, honor yourself and begin following your heart. When you align with your true self, you are then instantly in the vibration of meeting your soul-mate.

Alternatively, if you are done with the soul lessons for now and are just looking for a companion to share the rest of your life with, what you want to be asking for, or manifesting is your Life Partner.

A Life Partner is more like a companion or friend that you feel a strong connection to. It may not be a deep, soul connection like a soul mate, but there would be a mutual feeling of trust, understanding and respect. A life partner is someone who is dependable and considerate of your needs and wants. Of course, a life partner is also someone that you are attracted to and that you love and care for.

While you will still be learning lessons from a life partner, they are more about lending support and giving you a guiding hand as you navigate through your own soul journey.

Meeting your Life Partner is usually not something you spiritually or energetically prepare yourself for like you would with a soulmate. Instead it requires emotional and mental preparation and physically putting yourself out there.

It is possible to have your Soulmate also be your Life Partner and it is also possible that you and your Life Partner can develop a deeper, soul connection- it all just depends on which direction you choose to steer.

Here are the different characteristics of each relationship:

Soulmate Relationship

You feel a deep, spiritual connection to this person almost like you have known them for a long time.

You have flashbacks or deja vu moments where you feel that you have been together before.

You seem to understand each other and have a similar way of thinking.

You may have similar flaws or habits, or you both had similar challenges during childhood.

Your connection is intense and so too is the relationship. Often it can move from extreme highs to extreme lows.

You feel in sync with each other even when you are not physically together. There may be a feeling of having to team up together to conquer something.

You know intuitively what the other is thinking or feeling. You feel very in-tune and connected with their thoughts and actions.

Your relationship is emotional, challenging and can bring things out in you that you didn’t know existed.

You may experience huge shifts and changes in your life when you first meet this person.

Your relationship may not last forever but the love is always there.

Life Partner Relationship

You feel attracted to each other physically and resonate with each others values.

You enjoy getting to know each other and learn about your differences and similarities- everything about each other feels new and exciting.

You get along like best friends- your relationship does not suffer from extremes.

Your relationship is based on logical or intellectual decisions.

You resonate with each others beliefs, ideas or religion/philosophy.

You both feel a sense of financial and emotional stability by being together.

Your relationship is based on being physically present and creating new memories.

You feel the need to marry or start a family in order to ‘cement’ your relationship.

At different times of our lives we will need and want different types of relationships. Neither is better or worse than the other, it is all a personal decision and one that you will feel guided to as long as you are following your heart.

By: Tanaaz

#love #consciousness #relationships #soulmates #partners #friends&relationships articles #articles

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valamerys · 7 years

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Out of Feathers, Out of Bones [an elucien epistolary fic] part 2

Elain travels Prythian learning to accept her new life and powers, but better than any glittering court is her tentative correspondence with her mate. (rated g, set post-acowar)

part 1 on tumblr

on ao3

Dear Elain,

Please forgive me the time it took me to respond to you. I wanted to be thorough and sure of my answer, and, frankly, I’m still not. But I am immeasurably glad you feel you can talk to me about the mate bond. We should talk about the I want you to talk to me about the I promise, I would never think you ignorant for any question you have about it— it’s strange to me too. I wish I had more answers to give you, though. No one knows why mates are paired. They’re not soulmates; most don’t live in romantic harmony— Although some do, and now that I’m back in Velaris, I’m rather aggressively exposed to that fact. I wish I didn’t live in a house that I assume Rhysand and Feyre have had sex in every inch of. But I’m getting off topic. There is also a theory that mates are paired based on maximizing the power of potential biological offspring, but there are same-sex mate bonds, and incidences of mated fae unable to reproduce, so that idea doesn’t hold much water. Rhys has a pet theory about mates being “equals,” which sounds lovely but doesn’t really mean anything concrete, so far as I can tell, beyond sending Rhys into a half-hour long soliloquy about how much he loves Feyre and how their love has transcended and etc etc.

I’m sorry. I’m sure Feyre and Viviane have told you all this; you asked me something more specific.

Yes, I feel you through the bond. All the time It was strange getting used to, though I’m sure it was not a fraction so strange for me as it was for you. Meeting you and feeling the… source, so to speak, helped. At the risk of overstepping my boundaries, I would tell you that I find it comforting, sometimes— especially at night. I have trouble with bad dreams; being able to feel you, safe, calm, helps. I wish I could repay that to you somehow.

I hate the idea that it frightens you instead. What can I do? There are ways of… blocking the bond, or minimizing it, if that would help you. They’re painful and difficult but if that’s what you want, I would gladly Alright, the ‘gladly’ is a lie, but , cauldron boil me i have got to stop doing this

I don’t know how to end this. You’re not the only one who finds it difficult to talk about these things, believe me, but we should and I want to. Please, please tell me if there’s anything I can do, or if there’s any questions you have. Ever.

Lucien

*****************

Dear Elain,

I completely forgot that you also asked me how Velaris is now that I’ve returned, so I’m sending a second consecutive letter. Very stupid of me, but I’d be remiss not to tell you.

The Night Court is doing quite well, for everyone but me. In a double dose of insult, Cassian has decided my combat training is not up to Illyrian standards and has taken it upon himself to frequently kick my ass, and Rhys has decided my political skills are best put to use cleaning up his subterranean library, the lower levels of which were apparently wrecked in some fight. It’s either a ploy to get Nesta to kill me, or attempt to make us friends, as the library is where she spends much of her time too. Either way, your defense would be welcome, should you return to the night court any time soon. Don’t hurry, of course— your lessons with the Winter Court Seer sound like they’re doing you a world of good, and I’m glad of it.

Lucien

P.S. I was in the bowels of the library, and had just put down the pen from writing this letter, when a mysterious voice asked what I was writing. I admit I about jumped out of my skin. After some investigation, it would seem that this is a library-dwelling monster of Feyre’s, named Bryaxis, which she did not deign to warn me about. After FURTHER investigation and some indignation on my part, it would appear that Feyre is using me to fulfil her bargain with this creature, who wants, of all things, someone to spend time with. When I asked her why SHE couldn’t do it, Rhysand very conveniently appeared with a half a dozen “high lady” tasks for her to complete. Here’s another fact about the mate bond: mated pairs who are also partners in crime are insufferable.

Anyway, If I stop writing, please assume this monster has eaten me and yell at Feyre on my behalf.

*****************

Lucien,

Oh dear, I’m very sorry to hear about your library situation! I’ve written to Nesta and asked her to be nice to you, and to maybe spend time with Bryaxis so you’re not the only one. I’d write to Feyre and scold her for treating you like that but… you’re not wrong, peacetime has made her and Rhys into a couple of hooligans. (I mean that affectionately. Mostly.)

I don’t mean to dismiss your long thoughts on the mate bond by not writing any of my own in response. I am still thinking about things, and need time to decide what I feel before I’m comfortable writing it down. But I appreciate your words very much. In regards to my use of the word “frightened” that distressed you, you have helped alleviate that somewhat; whatever the cauldron’s reasoning for pairing us, it surely must intend to make our lives better, not worse, and if it is doing that for at least one of us by making your nightmares easier to stand, then the bond can’t be a truly bad thing. (I am very sorry, by the way, about your nightmare trouble.)

For the time being, I have no wish to do any of the things you mentioned about weakening the bond, or anything like that. I assume such a procedure would be magical, and I’ve had enough of strange, ancient magics to last me a very long time. But it was very decent of you to offer when I know that’s not really what you want.

I’m sorry, that sounds dour. Really, I’m quite happy! No need to worry about me!

Elain

P.S. I almost forgot—Orianna wants to take me to the Summer Court to continue my training. Apparently they have a crystal cave there that can magnify Seer powers, and Feyre has arranged for us to spend some time with High Lord Tarquin while we’re there too. (I think she thinks I can soften him up where the Night Court is concerned— he’s still a little peeved at Rhys for what happened with that book, even if he’s taken the blood rubies back.) Winter is lovely, but I’m excited to go somewhere warm! I’ve noted the places we’ll be staying on the back of this letter, so you know where to send things as we travel. We leave next week!

*****************

Dear Elain,

Regarding the bond, I want whatever you want. You’ve been hurt by this far more than me, had far more taken from you. It’s the least I can do to do everything in my power to accommodate your wishes. But if I may ask for one thing, please be honest with me about how you’re doing. It would take a miracle to truly be happy or well-adjusted in your situation, given all that’s happened, and I hate to think that you might be lying about your own feelings to spare mine. If you can’t talk about it, I completely understand— just, please don’t tell me anything untrue.

It turns out that Bryaxis isn’t so bad. In some ways, he’s a better conversationalist than Rhys. He likes to hear stories of my life in other courts, and fortunately, three hundred odd years of political experience has given me plenty to tell. I've told him all about y You would like him. And I appreciate your attempted defense of me from Nesta, although it’s possible it had the opposite effect; she is, as ever, hostile. Perhaps if you told her that you dislike me and have no interest in speaking to me ever again, she might relent? Though that might backfire. Nevermind.

The Illyrians, at least, have warmed up to me. Cassian entertains himself by coming up with vaguely insulting fox-themed nicknames for me during training, and Azriel wordlessly accepts my presence, which seems to be the best anyone achieves with him. I have started naming some of his more distinctive shadows. He initially objected to “Fluffy” and “Lord Shadowkins” but I’m working on it.

It’s clever of Feyre to send you to Tarquin on Night’s behalf—no one could possibly stay angry with you plying them. Tell me how you like the Summer Court; I look forward to hearing more about your training and future likely sunburn.

Lucien

*****************

Lucien,

At first, I was a little angry about your request to be honest with you— I hadn’t thought of myself as lying, per say, so you pointing out that I was made me defensive. But you’re right. I’ve always tried to be the chipper one in my family, the one who was fine and happy and hopeful no matter how hungry we were, I suppose it’s no wonder I’ve begun to do it again. So, the truth: yes, I’m still unhappy. And very sad about Graysen. I suppose it’s getting better, but it’s hard to tell when you do so, so well for three days and then think about him on the fourth and suddenly feel so sad you’ve made no progress at all. Does that make sense? I don’t know. Since the war, everyone has been so kind to me that it seems ungrateful to have any complaints. But I’ve told you in the past that I am beginning to appreciate my powers, and that is true, even though they are sometimes disorienting. I'm glad to be going on this trip; I hope it will give me clarity in addition to increased control over my magic. (Perhaps that is a bit much to ask of what amounts to a beach vacation, but so be it.)

In any case, Orianna and I are in Summer now. We’re staying with an old friend of hers at their estate; we leave for the cave tomorrow and hope to spend a few days there. Kallias was kind enough to send an escort/ guard along, so the three of us are a little band of travellers. I suppose this is obvious, but it’s very hot here. I don’t think I will ever get used to wearing trousers, as Feyre has, but I’ve had to adapt to lighter, shorter skirts. (Goodness, everyone in this court shows so much skin. They must think me a terrible prude.) Speaking of skin, your comment about sunburn has made me very vigilant about protecting mine just to prove you wrong; the Summer Court is no match for large hats and spelled sun lotions!

Above all else, I am happy to be in a place where things grow again. The thing I miss most from my human life—Graysen not withstanding—is my garden; as lovely as the Winter Court is, nowhere so unforgiving could ever be my home. Of course, I have no idea what "home" really means anymore; the Night Court is Feyre's home, not mine. I assume I'll eventually return to live their in some kind of permanence, but this trip is reminding me that I don't have to... the world is so big, now. I hardly know what to do with it.

I'm sure you of all people understand.

We have so many serious things to talk about, but your letters always make me laugh. Thank you for that. Please tell Azriel I strongly support the names “Fluffy” and “Lord Shadowkins” and would also submit for consideration “Boots,” “Snowball,” and “Midnight.”

Elain

#acotar #elucien #fic #fanfic #mine #WELL WELL WELL #LOOK WHAT FUCKIN UPDATED #i have no control over what i update guys my brain is like russian roulette #anyway here take this its cute

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analyzingrhink-blog · 7 years

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Analyzing Rhink - The kiss that started it all

Introduction to the madness/discussions

In discussing our head canons for these two amazing men, and their epic love for each other, we talked about when we thought their relationship changed from epic soulmates to soul mates who fuck.

After a very loooong ass discussion, where we flailed incoherently for 28 pages, we came to the same conclusion: The romantic/sexual side of their relationship is only a very recent thing. We don't think they’ve been sleeping together for years. We pinpointed the beginning of “something more” to the News Musical: Wedding Fail episode, better known as the Newsical-kiss, Plexi-kiss or the kiss that nearly killed the Rhink fandom.

We believe that the aftermath of the plexi-kiss showed them a side to their relationship that was previously, completely unexplored. This got them thinking, questioning what was between them. It made them realize feelings that they a) didn’t know they had and b) didn’t know how to deal with. Unfortunately, Rhett and Link didn’t kiss through the plexi-glass and ride off into the sunset. We think the aftermath of the plexi-kiss led to more denial and a great deal of angst. The plexi-kiss was a catalyst and where the change in their relationship began.

We invite you relax, take a seat and listen to our theory of how the plexi-kiss punched Rhett and Link in the face with feels.

So let's talk about that.

Our theory: Or better known as Plexi-gate

We share the headcanon that Rhett and Link didn’t progress their relationship until much, much later in life. Because it took that long to acknowledge and understand themselves.

These two men clearly share a relationship that transcends anything you could call ‘best friends’. They’ve been friends for 30+ years. And after all this time, they still adore each other, want to spend all their time together and genuinely care and love each other.

originally posted by mclaughneal

They couldn’t imagine their lives apart, so they went to the same university and took the same courses. And when Rhett wanted to move and pursue his dream, Link didn’t hesitate to follow him. Because Link couldn’t live in a world where he didn’t have Rhett in his life everyday. And if for some reason Link couldn’t go with Rhett, Rhett wouldn’t have left. Because he couldn’t live without Link.

How do two people who love each other so much -who are beyond just best friends, bordering on soul mates - take so long to realize they are in love with each other and finally do something about it?

To understand that. You need to first look at where they came from.

Rhett and Link’s Background: Buies Creek, North Carolina

Not only was the world a much less accepting place forty years ago, they came from a small town in southern USA. Rhett and Link were raised in an environment where having feelings for a man wasn’t just wrong, it wasn’t even on their radar. Some people may or may not understand this, but when you're raised in a very strict Christian homophobic household, bisexual people can deny an entire side of themselves. So much so, that it makes it hard to notice when they having feelings for the same sex, especially if they fall in love with someone of the opposite gender, because it can feel natural.. But there is in fact a side of yourself that is being denied because you were taught it was wrong.

Which is why we think they hadn’t really even thought about each other that way, fleetingly if at all.

The move to CA

So you may ask why did it take Rhett and Link so long to ‘get it together?’ It takes quite a bit of time to unlearn deeply ingrained ideas taught to us when we are young.

We believe that a huge changing agent for Rhett and Link was the move to CA. Before that, we don't think they would have had the exposure to the world outside of small town NC and outside of conservative Christian ideals that allow them to think of each other in non platonic ways.

The move to CA also came at a time when their Internetainment careers were beginning to skyrocket, and their new working relationship was becoming legitimate. New dynamics such as that can really change something in a relationship.

There’s a higher level of trust involved in committing to a move and partnership that big too. By moving to CA and forming a company they effectively put the fate of their careers, finances and ultimately their families in each other's hands.

Even with all this happening, it still took some time. Its believable that it took many years on top of the change of location, exposure to new people and ideas and definitely their age and developing relational dynamics to open their minds to new and startling possibilities.

Without all these factors lining up in the proper way, Rhett and Link may not have ever realized that this is the kind of thing that they could have. Their background and the ideals they grew up with would not allow it.

It's rather heartbreaking to think that they could have been loving each other for many years, and not ever realizing what it was because of their upbringing.

What caused the kiss?

Honesty, this kiss does not seem preplanned. It was not a ploy to see how far they could push each other or to reveal secret feelings at this time. Rhett and Link were just following the natural progression of the story and following each others’ lead. They were just going with it, like they always do.

The story didn’t call for a kiss through a prison glass. We’re sure the plexi-glass was just a prop, same as the wig. But these two clever cupcakes, who regularly pull hilarious and entertaining things at whim, were just following their creativity.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

As you can see in the above gif, it’s Rhett who asked Link to kiss him through the glass and Link didn’t even hesitate. These two have been bouncing ideas off each other their entire lives. One throws something at the other, who bats it back and fills in any gaps along the way.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

This easy and almost second nature reactivity to each other is what makes them so successful.

But it also means that they often don't think too hard about something before doing it. Because they trust each other so completely and aren’t afraid to take the jump. You can see that they in the moment and totally engrossed in their characters.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

In the above gif, you can see that Link was working off of Rhetts cues. He is so lost in in the progression of the scene and the character that he even kissed the glass a second time, after Rhett had pulled away. Link’s brain certainly was not in the driver’s seat, as all his actions indicate that he was responding to Rhett’s direction. This has always been their dynamic, Rhett asks and Link follows.

Link was not the only perpetrator of thoughtlessness. It is clear that they both weren’t thinking about what they were doing, which is why this was such an important event. They didn’t think about how they would feel after, they didn’t think at all. Neither realized that “Oh, this may be weird. Rhett just asked me to kiss him.”

This scene certainly affected them both in a significant way that they didn’t even consider. And it is evident how much it did affect them by their body language towards each other afterwards.

Link’s Reactions and Body Language

Originally posted by graveyard-whistler

originally posted by silentbelvedere

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

To fully understand the impact this kiss had on Link, we need to understand the man. Link tends to live in a world where his emotions are out in the open and he finds it difficult, nay impossible to shut these feelings down. Everything about Link is a bundle of expression, with his hands moving, eyebrows waggling all over the place and his blue eyes sparkling with his thoughts. The man wears his heart on his sleeve and has no brain to mouth filter. It's not hard at all to work out what's going on in his brain.

Therefore, his face and body language are a clear indicator of the wide array of emotions he was experiencing the moment his lips left Rhett’s.

Link’s resulting reaction to the kiss was very telling. His feelings were all over his face and it seems like he had been hit by a truck. By observing Link’s body language and facial features, it can be concluded that it wasn’t embarrassment he was feeling, if you look closely Link’s face is one of complete shock.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

His eyes are wide, his face is flushed and he is breathing heavily, his chest visibly heaving. Link doesn’t seem like he can move, his body is frozen and he can’t even look away from the camera.

Also Link, not being one that can keep his mouth shut, says EXACTLY how he feels.

“Oh Goodness”

“I don't know what to say at this point”

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

We know you don’t Link. Because you look like you’ve been hit in the face with a realization hammer.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

As the video progresses, Rhett appears to be pushing forward, while Link is still stuck in the moment of the kiss. It is apparent that Link is still stunned judging by the look on his face and his posture. He still has his hand up to his ear like a telephone as if he can’t even move his body, and if his eyes got any wider, they’d burst out of his head. Link’s mind must have been the equivalent of a squirrel on speed in this moment. You can almost read the thoughts going through his mind just as clearly as if he were speaking them out loud:

“Omg what….what is this?... Why do I feel this way… Why is my heart beating so hard?”

Link is an exceptional actor. We have seen him use a variety of expressions and gestures for the benefit of entertainment. But in this moment, Link has stopped acting. And he certainly isn't reacting like he’s just had another awkward moment on the camera for the benefit of comedy. It was the look of a person who had just received their first kiss from their crush, one they didn’t even know existed. It was like Link had just woken up.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

Yeah Link. We know, wow.

In the above gif, you can see how Link just barely pulls himself back from the brink of hysterical laughter before he finally releases his “grip” on his phone hand. His mind and body are just starting to catch up to one another as he finally lets his arm fall to his side. The two parts of himself are starting to move at the same speed, but it hasn’t diminished the swirling emotions that are still written all over him. From his flushed face to his sighs and mumbling, you can tell he has not fully recovered his composure. It’s like the world is just beginning to come back into focus, but he has not even begun to work out what this all means to himself, to Rhett or their partnership.

Rhett’s Reactions and Body Language

originally posted by thenthekneehits

At first glance, one would say that Rhett was not nearly as impacted by this kiss as Link was. While Link looks like he’s had a visitation by god, Rhett looks like he’s gotten back down to business and moved on.

The significance of Rhett’s reaction is that Rhett tends to play things closer to his chest. Where Link is impetuous and you can see his emotions plainly, Rhett is trapped inside his own mind, which makes him much harder to read. He always seems to be less upset over things, but that is because his emotions stay inside of him, while Link’s flail all over the place.

Rhett is a thoughtful guy.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

And those thoughts tend to stay exactly where they are. A self proclaimed introvert, he is not prone to sharing much of what goes on inside. Revealing too much of his inner workings makes him vulnerable, which makes these obvious feelings that much more powerful. These emotions that he allowed on his face and in his gestures reveal something deep and important and speaks volumes of the propensity of the situation.

So it would be easy to say Rhett was unaffected by the kiss because he was very quick to push away the awkwardness and continue the show like always. The fact of the matter is, Rhett felt the emotion of the kiss acutely. We believe he was going through the same reactions as Link, but experiencing it internally rather than externally.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

As you can see here, Rhett is trying to work out what the hell to do and Link is SO offline that Rhett is basically left to sink or swim on his own.

You can see him trying to work out. What the hell this boy is doing? Is he still in character? Are we still acting?

Rhett keeps looking to the monitor, trying to gauge what Link’s face is doing. Rhett’s still got his phone hand up to his face, because Link has.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

You can see Rhett is thinking so damn hard. His face is twitching, his eyes are looking all over the place and his brain is in overdrive. He is looking to his friend for the next move and is struggling to figure out if this act has gone off the rails or not. There is a moment of recognition when Rhett realizes that Link is no longer acting and that his responses are true to life.

“Yep, okay. I don't think we’re acting anymore. I don't know what Link is saying. Come on Mclaughlin, do something.”

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

And do something he does. He spurs into action.

All the while Link is imploding, his emotions are leaking to the surface while Rhett is focused on halting his internal meltdown, frantic to pick up the pieces and get on with the show. Rhett is aware that he has lost Link, but is incapable of pulling the man back from the space he is in. So in order to deal with the situation, Rhett flies into fix it mode.

Keep it moving, maybe we will fall into step together.

Step by step, Rhett pulls away from the kiss, puts the plexi glass down and starts talking to the camera.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

Despite his efforts to remain calm and keep things chugging along, you can see he is on the precipice of losing all semblance of control, same as Link.

originally posted by rtr-gifs

Rhet has a tell when he’s nervous. We all do. It's generally a self soothing gesture. It doesn’t always mean you’re uncomfortable. But it's definitely something you do when you are.

Rhett is a beard stroker.

originally posted by remembertherandler

Rhett tends to not be a fidgety person when he’s relaxed. He’s not a nervous energy bunny like Link. When he’s chill, he’s chill. When he’s not entirely chill, he might play with his beard, or play with the hair at the back of his neck.

Rhett is in danger mode here, we’ve never seen him move so much. He is the most fidgety fidget man in these gifs. Touching his face, his beard, playing with the wig,and touching his mouth.

While Link has barely moved, Rhett is nearly ready to climb out of his skin.

originally posted by graveyard-whistler

This scene was a rarity for this pair because the way Rhett and Link function is clear. When one fails the other swiftly takes over without a beat. In the case of this unexpected kiss, both brains were taken by surprise and went off kilter.

Link was completely lost and was of no help to Rhett. Rhett struggled to keep everything going, but you can see that he was not only affected by the kiss, he was REALLY affected by Link’s visceral reaction afterwards.

Link, the bouncy energy-bound puppy, had an almost freeze-frame brain malfunction and cool, calm and collected Rhett nearly spiralled himself into the sun.

When usually this duo can just feed off each other almost telepathically, this episode demonstrates that this kiss left them stranded and unable to work out where to go.

Aftermath of Kiss/Why Release the Episode

The aftermath of the kiss is very closely related to the release of the episode. Why would they release an episode, or even just that scene, if it was so damn clear, to god and everyone, that they had a bone-deep reaction to kissing each other? Even through a sheet of plastic.

And that can be answered by a river in Egypt. Denial.

When you don't understand something, something so very profound that it drops you on your head and wrecks everything you thought you knew….well, it's safer just to pretend that it doesn’t exist because the alternative is terrifying and life changing.

Which is why they released the episode. If they didn’t release it, they’d have to acknowledge that there was something wrong with it and that the reactions meant something.

So release it and it just becomes …”Oh hahahah aren’t we funny and stupid!”

If they don’t release it, uncomfortable questions start to arise, questions they weren’t prepared to give life to by answering.

Which leads nicely into the next thought. They definitely did not talk about how this episode made them feel. Which is strange, because being friends for so many years, you would think that they would talk about everything. For as many times as fans have commented on their closeness, you can bet that people that interact with Rhett and Link in their everyday lives have commented on it twice as much. Which begs the question, why lock these emotions in a box and send it down the river?

It was clear that instead of having a open realization, feelings were repressed even further because they both were not ready for it. They weren’t ready for how it made them feel and for how it made them question what they meant to each other. This is the first time they’d been put into a situation where their defenses were down, unwittingly throwing them head first into each other, smashing and shattering the puzzle pieces of their relationship and leaving them to reassemble it.

They were forced to acknowledge what the scene made them feel,but their feelings were only given a cursory glance before they were shoved deep down again, back to where they had emerged from.

They needed time to assemble the puzzle back together, but this was definitely not the time or place. They were different people and just not ready. Time‘s fingers had not reached them and taken hold yet, not allowing them to accept their feelings. They were still stuck in the limbo of self doubt and disbelief.

Because it's one thing to love your best friend. But it's another to want your best friend.

So what happened next?

Denial would only get them so far. It may have worked for them in the past, (which saw them through the “no homo” days of the Kasts) but ignoring a big physical realization like this would only work for a short time. We think the tension between them would have erupted eventually. They would have fought it until they finally acted on how they felt OR at least talked about it openly.

So what happened next? That is another analysis for another time.

Originally posted by mythical-shippings

First things first we have some people to thank. We’ve had some help with this very scientific post.

Thanks to @afangirlsplaylist for her amazing help with editing. After staring at this for as long as we have, it was good to have a second...third? Pair of eyes to see our mistakes. Also she made a few really good points that added to our theories.

Thanks to @remembertherandler for helping us with gif searching and providing us with gifs. I swear girl, I didn’t think I’d ever find that gif. You’re amazing.

Thanks to @graveyard-whistler , @silentbelvedere , @thenthekneehits @mythical-shippings, @mclaughneal for your amazing gifs and pics which helped us illustrate the science.

And lastly, thank you dear and lovely reader! We had a lot of fun writing this. Never have we had so much fun in a fandom, before. Be your mythical best.

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literaluis · 6 years

Video

It’s commonly said that all of us have a soulmate waiting to be met. Fairytales and marketing campaigns pulling the heartstrings of hopeless romantics all over the world. However, like many others I find the claim that states that there’s just one person in the world that can awaken a connection like no other to be baffling. There’s many kinds of love. Of course there’s plenty of transcending bonds out there waiting to be made, but I’d advice to be conscious of the distinction that there’s only two primary ways a soulmate can be described as. Regardless of that, it’s important to keep in mind that when loving someone else, that love is independent and free from expectations or retributions towards you. When you love someone, you genuinely wish them joy and love for life. Sharing that with each other is simply the cherry on top. *As a disclosure, today’s essay emphasizes on the interpretations of romantic love and partnerships, inciting to start a conversation where you’re encouraged to share your input and past experiences regarding this forever broken record. If you’ve read the previous two essays of the “Practice Empathy” series, you can tell by now that these thorough analysis come to be because I’m as sensitive as I am cerebral. Despite being a tumultuous nature, it’s easier to moderate when you’re aware that we’re here to be happy. To be present. ••••••••••••••••••••• There’s the “utopian” soulmate, which is the spurious version we’re mostly told of. This “perfect” romantic partner understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace and happiness when you are around them. A connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, you question if you have ever truly loved anyone before. The sense of fulfillment that your being encompasses is part of a delusional “happily ever after” story. ••••••••••••••••••••• Then there’s the true soulmate, whose purpose is to to bring all your wounds, fears and insecurities to the surface so you can reconcile them in order to grow in love and wisdom, while others will aid us in learning difficult life lessons or universal truths. These people may serve as catalysts to share, grow and learn, or they may present themselves in a moment when we need to overcome our fears of vulnerability, when we need someone to challenge our belief system, or even when we need to discover a passion we were unaware of. It’s important to recognize that there’s three ways a soulmate can come into our lives: for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. ••••••••••••••••••••• Sometimes a person can embody both definitions or less transcending versions of each. They don’t always present themselves as lovers, because they can also be a friend, family member or fleeting encounter with a stranger never to be seen again. I can ramble and listen about the depth and variants of these concepts for days, like the distinction between soulmates, life partners, twin flames, and kindred spirits. The revelations and “aha” moments that come from discovering more about our interpersonal relationships is something I cherish very much. Although being unaware of my empathic nature led me to make various transcending emotional investments with the wrong people and induced trauma, there were those that were able to see me for who I forgot I was and I cherish the encouragement they gave me while I was astray. Unfortunately I kicked off to a very troubling start as a child that would derail me for years to come, but it didn’t stop me from later meeting beautiful souls that molded part of the man I am today. Some of them are gone, but remain close to my heart. Nothing makes me happier than seeing some of them spread their light with others as time goes by. Few things make me smile as much as witnessing genuine joy and a healthy spark being shared between two connected people, and I only wish the best to those that I crossed paths with in the past. As for those that induced the trauma that triggered my DPD, I’ve confronted and acknowledged what happened to me in order to let go of those experiences as opposed to simply oppress them. I used to make the mistake of giving more power to those that I let scar me than to the few that cherished my buried spark. It’s a fraction of the memories linked to forgiveness, a topic that I’m moved by differently time after time because of triggered DPD. It’s a very sensitive and polarizing subject, but insignificant when you remember that you should turn to forgiveness as opposed to resentment. Forgive or forget. A pending parenthesis left to be explored soon. I always used to say as a teenager that the younger you get punched by life, the better. That way you’d learn your lessons from life with a “head start”. The ignorant tone my recurrent joke was tainted with cynicism and irony because of the old soul I’m perceived to possess, but as the years passed by I learned those words were not wise at all and I’ve become more conscious of my comedic ways. I’ve wept riddled with sorrow and confusion as much as I’ve smiled with ecstasy and fulfillment because of people that I failed to see as lessons to overcome or gifts to assimilate. Sometimes I remember vivid fragments of the connections I unconsciously made with narcissists and can feel wrath or bitterness sprout from the scars of abuse in my chest, but the sensation pales in comparison to the gratitude you can have when you realize those growing pains exist to help you evolve. There is no “other half” out there. Your true self is already complete. ••••••••••••••••••••• Choose to live. Choose to love. #PracticeEmpathy

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lunar-entity-blog1 · 7 years

Photo

Difference between life partners and soulmates perfectly explained Soul Mate: Someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lesson has been learned, physical separation usually occurs. Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There is a mutual feeling of love and respect, and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants. Everyone wants to meet their Soulmate. In fact, one of the most common questions I receive in my readings and coaching sessions is - “When am I going to meet my Soulmate?” We have many Soulmates in this life but their purpose is all the same- they are here to challenge and awaken us so our soul can evolve into a higher state of consciousness. Our Soulmates always arrive when we are ready for them and not a moment sooner. They arrive when we are ready to learn the lessons that we were destined to fulfill. Soulmate relationships are often not forever, this is because sometimes the relationship can be too intense or there is a certain karmic energy to the relationship that sees it come to a close once the necessary lessons have been learned. Soulmates can also be friends and relatives; they don’t always have to be romantic partners. Regardless of this, you will always feel a strong, energetic connection or a past life history together. Many of us spend years obsessing about meeting a Soulmate, but fail to notice what we are really asking for. When we ask for a Soulmate we are really asking to grow and develop in consciousness, and not understanding this can sometimes block the energy from coming to us. If you really want to connect with a Soulmate, you need to align with your own soul. You need to discover who you are, honor yourself and begin following your heart. When you align with your true self, you are then instantly in the vibration of meeting your soul-mate. Alternatively, if you are done with the soul lessons for now and are just looking for a companion to share the rest of your life with, what you want to be asking for, or manifesting is your Life Partner. A Life Partner is more like a companion or friend that you feel a strong connection to. It may not be a deep, soul connection like a soul mate, but there would be a mutual feeling of trust, understanding and respect. A life partner is someone who is dependable and considerate of your needs and wants. Of course, a life partner is also someone that you are attracted to and that you love and care for. While you will still be learning lessons from a life partner, they are more about lending support and giving you a guiding hand as you navigate through your own soul journey. Meeting your Life Partner is usually not something you spiritually or energetically prepare yourself for like you would with a soulmate. Instead it requires emotional and mental preparation and physically putting yourself out there. It is possible to have your Soulmate also be your Life Partner and it is also possible that you and your Life Partner can develop a deeper, soul connection - it all just depends on which direction you choose to steer. Here are the different characteristics of each relationship: Life Partner Relationship You feel attracted to each other physically and resonate with each others values. You enjoy getting to know each other and learn about your differences and similarities - everything about each other feels new and exciting. You get along like best friends - your relationship does not suffer from extremes. Your relationship is based on logical or intellectual decisions. You resonate with each others beliefs, ideas or religion/philosophy. You both feel a sense of financial and emotional stability by being together. Your relationship is based on being physically present and creating new memories. You feel the need to marry or start a family in order to ‘cement’ your relationship. Soulmate Relationship You feel a deep, spiritual connection to this person almost like you have known them for a long time. You have flashbacks or deja vu moments where you feel that you have been together before. You seem to understand each other and have a similar way of thinking. You may have similar flaws or habits, or you both had similar challenges during childhood. Your connection is intense and so too is the relationship. Often it can move from extreme highs to extreme lows. You feel in sync with each other even when you are not physically together. There may be a feeling of having to team up together to conquer something. You know intuitively what the other is thinking or feeling. You feel very in - tune and connected with their thoughts and actions. Your relationship is emotional, challenging and can bring things out in you that you didn’t know existed. You may experience huge shifts and changes in your life when you first meet this person. Your relationship may not last forever but the love is always there. At different times of our lives we will need and want different types of relationships.  Neither is better or worse than the other, it is all a personal decision and one that you will feel guided to as long as you are following your heart.

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