seven years ago in the name of tolerating free speech from all political perspectives my nasty ass evil university let an army of tiki torch wielding nazis shouting jews will not replace us march through grounds threatening the lives of students and community members with zero police presence. and today they retroactively changed campus policy around tents so they could send in the cops to bust up the gaza memorial vigil. genuinely fucking stomach turning
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired.
And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.
Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever.
Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded.
Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him.
Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.
The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep.
The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature.
Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again.
There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now.
Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough.
Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there.
But first, where the heck was he?
Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was.
He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again.
It was really becoming a bad habit.
Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town.
And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion.
But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought.
He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all.
Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety.
The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone.
"WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job.
This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.
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