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myillicitaffair · 4 months

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Somethin’ Stupid | Charles Leclerc

Summary: while being interviewed by his former lover, bottled up feelings find their way out.

Warnings: english not being my mother tongue, lots of angst, some swearing, arguments.

Notes: this is the first time i’m ever posting anything on here, i hope you enjoy it xx

1.5k words.

Letting myself fall into his abrasive webs was surprisingly easy. His green orbs, pervasive and curious, piercing my soul.

We had our ups and downs, unbridled passion slowly dying with each tear shed, magnetic attraction burning my lungs.

We found ourselves in a hiatus, which found a way of prolonging itself further than I would have liked to. Perhaps he managed to keep himself occupied with his busy schedule; trainings, special dietary requirements, public relations… as for me, I rather hold my silence.

My routine was overflowed with his voice, with how much I missed his touch on my lower back, guiding me through the crowds, our hands intertwined in a tacit promise.

However, life demanded to continue with apparent normality. Dinner parties surrounded by friends, rounds of drinks avoiding alcohol… The last thing I needed was to degrade myself into a melancholic drunkenness.

Was he also having a hard time with the abysmal coldness on the other side of the bed or the loneliness of not having anyone to dilute your sorrow over morning coffee with?

My days had fallen into a sort of routine; waking up while missing him, showering while missing him, having breakfast while missing him… I think you get how thing are.

This particular morning, Silverstone was extraordinarily cloudy, the mist engulfing my view from the hotel room. How fitting!

Running away from my surreptitious misfortunes, I head downstairs, soaking up the competitive environment prior to every race. Emboldened as an agitated swarm, my colleges and me descended on the designated circuit.

Tedious security controls accompanied the anticipated fun, a hammer already pounding into my head at the thought of seeing him face to face once more.

Walking towards the space where the press was condensed, I check the days schedule for the last time. I am lucky enough to maintain friendly interactions with most drivers, so as to achieve fluid interviews, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

The only reason I can find as to why that fateful name is written on my list of drivers to interview was that God and I clearly have some unresolved business… funny timing to make me pay the price though!

A lump gets stuck in my throat just by thinking about it, preventing regular air flow.

The countdown only stuns me, even though my duty doesn’t start until the last lap. The smell of burnt rubber, product of speeding wheels, fills my lungs while intoxicating my nostrils.

The continuous lights turn red with overwhelming precision as seconds go by, lightning up the faces hidden with baklavas and iconic helmets.

Unconsciously (or maybe not so much), my eyes crawl back to the speeding number “16” that, red and furious, slides around the circuit while attempting to memorize every bump and curve along the way.

Chasing the sequence with collective looks of astonishment, a collision comes rushing down, disabling Piastri and Norris by the arrogance that only clear disagreements gives you.

Without further issues, the race concludes with a podium conformed by both Red Bull Racing drivers, trailed by seven time world champion Lewis Hamilton.

As possessed by group madness, the journalists rush into the victors. Microphone in hand, cameras shadowing us, content hunger gushing from our pores.

Driven by a exacerbated sadness, I shift my focus from the winners to him, returning my gaze with clouded tear ducts, bottled up frustration visible in his features.

With a touch on my shoulder, I’m brought back to reality by a co-worker, who, with a subtle shift of her head signals my awaiting obligations.

I head towards my press conference, where I take a seat with my name on it, psyching myself up for what I’m sure will be the most awkward interview of my whole career.

Dressed in Ferrari clothing and constantly stalked by flashes, both pilots near the platform where I await. They settle into their designated spots, holding still until the cameraman says otherwise.

I steal one last glance at my premeditated questions and hide my true feelings behind a focused frown.

“Welcome dear viewers! We find ourselves in the eleventh race of the year, accompanied once more by our friends from Ferrari, Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz.”

I desperately try stabilizing the noticeable shake in my voice.

“Friend”- the Monegasque interrupts my monologue with a mocking remark.

The puzzled look his teammate throws in his direction doesn’t go unnoticed by the former, who insists on jointing his glistening irises with mine.

I decide to ignore the brief impasse in the speech, running away from his calculated sarcasm as I force the corners of my mouth into an attempted smile.

“so, Carlos… do you think driving behind two cars that crushed ruined your performance?”- I question, tripping over my words under Charles´s scrutiny.

“It´s safe to say it wasn’t an unexpected accident”- the Spaniard pronounces, doing his best at minimalizing the awkwardness- “for at least a couple of laps, Oscar and Lando were teasing each other, clearly trying to gain advantage over the other. They were lucky enough neither of them got hurt.”

I nod absent minded, vibrating due to the pounding against my ribcage.

“Charles, what can you tell us about your engineers’ strategy for this race?”- I swallow loudly, praying he can´t notice the mesmerizing effect he has on me.

“I guess you could say I’m not entirely satisfied with my team´s execution this season”- he confesses, minimizing the tingles of frustration running down his spine- “It would also be quite unfair dumping the blame on my team when my failure has more to do with me letting my emotions get the best of me.”

The tension is intercepted by a longing sigh I didn’t know I was withholding. The world seems to stop in its euphoria simply to hang in his every sentence.

“A broken heart is no joke… even less when you have to patiently wait for the piece they decide to donate you”- he reproaches without saying my name but making it perfectly clear that I was indeed the recipient of his raw address.

My anxious movements become motionless, forgetting the when and where, just to focus on the displeasure bubbling in my stomach.

“Guys, I really don´t think it’s appropriate to discuss this now”- intercepts the Madrilenian, proposing a ceasefire.

Mi hand goes up in the air before I can help it, shutting him up mercilessly.

“I wonder where I must´ve learned it…”- I reply, drowning in the unexpected harshness of my tone- “don´t forget who was the one to suggest this ´no strings attached´ bullshit between us.”

The drivers face shines with a scandalous blush in response to my bravado. Right here and there, I comprehend the dept of his anger, making its way through his collarbones, until it climbs up his cheeks.

“Just because I thought that’s what you wanted”- he spits out his resentful response.

From the corner of my vision, I perceive Carlos´s discomfort by reading his body language; the friction of wiping away the sweat stagnant on his hands, his shoulders pouring forward in a clumsy attempt of hiding from the cameras, his chair weakly shaking under the constant bouncing of his extremities.

Madness atrophies my reasoning, blinding me enough as to not have merci on his apprehension. I took this way too far, it would be useless to swallow my feelings.

“how in the world could you think our agreement benefitted me? Really, Charles, you couldn’t be any more stupid!”- I scream back, jumping up from my seat.

The swing of my feet gets ahead of my thoughts, allowing me to run away from the premature conflict before it blows up in the air.

Mi face heats up from the warmth of my own tears, that start rolling down my cheeks. With each involuntary spasm of my jaw, sobs escape my gasps for air. I don’t dare to slow down.

“Can you please just listen to me?”- a voice behind me shouts, trying to stand by my side.

I turn around to face his scrunched up brows.

“you have nothing else left to make up. You may convince somebody with the whole ´heartbreak boy´ façade you’ve got going on, but you have genuinely driven me mad”

“You and I both now that isn’t true! Have you ever wondered why I always seem to take a step back after every show of affection?”- he manages to freeze me to the core- “How come you never noticed my excessive efforts to stay away from you? I can’t even behave like a functional human being if I’m not feeling you, touching you, having you with me.”

In the middle of the paddock, with every pair of eyes set on us, events unfold the way I’ve been dreaming of, however I can´t even react.

“I know I´m not in a position to ask you anything, but please, strip me from the torment that uncertainty means… even if that means to completely destroy me”- he whispers with renewed fragility.

My smirk slowly becomes uncontrollable laughter, reducing me to unbridled chuckles. I shelter the vestiges of my giggling in between his arm, until It ceases in its intensity.

Without noticing, I search for his lips with my own, craving the heat they irradiate.

“I think you know perfectly well how my soul aches for you”- I manage to sneak in between kisses, stumbling across his smile, displayed in all its glory.

#charles leclerc #cl16 #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #ferrari #charles leclerc smut #f1 smut #f1 fic #red bull f1 #red bull racing #imagine #argentina #Spotify

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orange-orchard-system · 3 months

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Got a hate ask on my other blog (funnier-as-a-system) today. I'm not gonna respond to it directly, but I'm gonna go over it fully just as an example of why I don't take anti-endos or sysmeds seriously and find them to be just bullying assholes who don't know what they're talking about. Apologies for the rare discourse post, but I felt it would be useful to have a personal example I can point to if I ever get any more asks than I already have about why I block anti-endos and sysmeds and don't want them on my blogs.

[ID: A screenshot of an anonymous ask, which reads: ""Systems" aren't real. Please stop being ableist against people with DID and our struggles. Pretending to be one of us while simultaneously mocking us makes you look like a piece of shit. Also, DID isn't fucking funny, you're just cruel and ableist. Go see a psychiatrist, get your personality disorders and Munchausens taken care of, and stop pretending to have DID when you don't. We don't need you, our community is better off without teenagers faking DID as a meme. To be honest, I wish you and literally everyone like you were more likely to kill yourself as someone with a real mental illness, because you don't deserve to be alive if this is what you're doing with your life. You're just a delusional bully and neo-nazi" ./ end ID]

Starting from the top, apparently anyone with DID who's ever described themselves as a system is faking now. Nevermind that it's been a term in psychology and the community for decades now! All systems are fake!

I have DID. I've said as much many times. Not that I think this person would consider this a counterargument, but I feel it deserves restating considering a fair amount of my posts are specifically about my DID and managing the symptoms of it.

If I want to find humor in my own disorder, I'm going to. I'm not going to resign myself to misery and self-hate just to please some randos on the Internet. I crawled my way out of the pit of self-hate and am not just gonna jump in there again just to avoid a couple asks and assholes. And I'd make a point here about systems that don't come from trauma or aren't disordered, but what's the point of that when they think literally all systems are fake?

Ohoho! Disableism towards other mental disorders! Isn't the irony sweet?

Not to toot my own horn, but I just love the lack of awareness when it comes to "we don't need you." No, I guess you don't need me... but you'll be going without the work I've done both online and offline to teach people about dissociation and plurality. Not to mention the terms I've coined that make people feel seen, the experiences I've talked about that make people feel less alone, the building of spaces to let others talk about their own problems and experiences, and the general promotion I've done of plural representation in media. No, you don't need me, but I've been doing work to assist the DID and wider plural communities for years now. And what have you been doing? Sending hate asks to people with DID for being too happy?

I'm an adult. I've mentioned before that I go to university and have a job. Seems like even online, I can't escape the assumption that I'm a teenager, smh. Also, I'm much more worried about the teenagers you might be sending this to than any kind of unquantifiable harm a couple teenagers faking DID could do, considering how clearly you wish to do harm with your words. Especially considering the next few sentences...

Oh, so we're just moving onto blatant suicide baiting and admitting you want systems to die. Got it. Totally not a bigot, right.

Wait... "Real mental illnesses"? Didn't you just accuse me of having several earlier? Or do personality disorders and Munchausen Syndrome not count? (Also, do they think being suicidal is a requirement to be mentally ill? They know not all disorders or presentations of disorders involve suicidality, right?)

Well, you got the delusional part right (which, side note, do you think it's impossible for people to have both DID and psychosis? Big yikes even if no, but that's what these asks always seem to imply), but I think this post might be the closest anyone can call "bullying", considering I'm not giving you an opportunity to respond as I tear down your argument. But maybe the definition of peer abuse changed to *checks notes* running a blog talking about plurality in a positive manner since I last checked.

These people do know what a Neo-Nazi is, right? They know what a Nazi is? Because it feels like people just use it as a stand-in for "general asshole" when it means a specific sort of ideology and bigotry. Ironic that they'd be so pissed about "mockery" and treating serious topics "as a meme", but then they go and misuse a term for a very dangerous kind of ideology and person.

Alright, I think I got that out of my system. Please be careful out there, guys! It feels like the number of hate asks I've seen people get has been going up. I'm in a stable enough place to make a demonstration out of this, but don't push yourself to have a snappy comeback or write essays responding to these assholes if you don't think you're up for it. Hell, I rarely write things like this myself, I just chose this ask to respond to because it was such a clear example of how hypocritical and foolish this particular brand of assholes is that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to break it down.

#syscourse #disableism #front soup.txt #suicide baiting

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gay-disabled-characters-showdown · 1 month

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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 2, Poll 2

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Nathaniel Thorn-Sorcery of Thorns

Qualifications:

Canonically bisexual and uses a cane after one of his legs is injured in the end of the first book. Also, either obviously mentally ill or just mentally-ill coded, depending on how you look at it; PTSD mainly but there's kind of more going on there.

Propaganda:

Miserable, funny, flaming bisexual drama queen. I think he thinks he's in some sort of gothic romance novel. Cane user who suggested getting a sword cane but didn't because his girlfriend basically vetoed it. His trauma-induced nightmares have a habit of coming to life in the real world, so he has to take medicine to prevent it. He was raised by an aroace-coded semi-formerly-evil demon/shapeshifting fluffy cat, which is part of why he's a bit weird. Just trust me, he has swag.

Wei Wuxian-The Untamed / Mo Dao Zu Shi

Qualifications:

Goes through a somewhat unethical organ transplant (in that the person he is giving the organ to doesn't realize that's what's going on) where he gives up his "golden core." This is like his center of power and by giving it up, not only is he not able to do most of the more "magic" things he could do before, but he's also noticeably physically weaker and gets injured much more easily (and takes longer to recover) as well as faints more often (iirc he only faints once pre-golden core removal and that was after sustaining major injuries and going on for a significant time without any healing while also fighting and traveling). Like he finds ways around it and invents new methods so that he can still do some things that he did before, just via a very different method. In the show we don't really see any characters who aren't cultivators, or at least part of that world, so Wei Wuxian is like the only character we really get to see without a golden core.

Also gotta say that this boy is severely depressed. Like "I'm-going-to-ask-my-doctor-friend-to-perform-a-mutliple-day-long-surgery-on-myself-in-which-I-will-be-awake-where-she'll-rip-out-the-core-of-my-being-and-transplant-it-into-my-adopted-brother-who-I'll-make-sure-never-finds-out-what-happened-even-though-he'll-come-to-hate-me" depressed. he has no value for his own life other than what he can give to others, even if it's his own body. like I think some fans unfairly classify him as being insane when he's really just depressed as all hell and having the worst possible things happen to him one after another and every time he breaks down it causes more trouble and usually people end up dying because of him.

Propaganda:

https://youtu.be/swbXAVADjxY ^ok this clip kinda explains the whole thing better (and obvs spoilers)

https://youtu.be/2wO5nsnkSBk ^and this video is just for fun but it's a little thing about Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng because their relationship makes me unwell

#polls #poll #disabled characters #lgbtq characters #disability #lgbtq #lgbtq dcs round 1 #lgbtq dcs wave 2 #nathaniel thorn #sorcery of thorns #wei wuxian #the untamed #mo dao zu shi

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stargazer-sims · 4 months

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1. Introduction (Video #1)

Caroline

Hey everybody!

My name is Caroline Okamoto-Nelson. I’m seventeen years old, and I live in Willow Creek. I like horses, cooking, shopping and J-pop. I really love swimming. I guess you might even say I'm obsessed with it. I'm really good at it too, and I have the medals to prove it.

People often comment that I look like both my parents, which is super funny to me since I’m not actually biologically related to them at all. I guess people say I resemble them because I have pale hair and blue eyes like Victor, and I have Japanese facial features like Yuri. Honestly, though, I don't mind if strangers assume I'm literally theirs. I am theirs in every way that matters, and being adopted is amazing because I know they love me enough to want to make me part of their family forever. I love them a lot, and even though I think about my biological parents sometimes, Victor and Yuri will always be my real parents.

Yeah, I have two dads, and to avoid things getting confusing I should let you know that I usually call them by their names. Some people think that's weird and a few people think it's disrespectful, but it's not weird to me. I started out as Victor and Yuri's foster child when I was six years old, after my biological father passed away, and I didn't want to call either of them Daddy or Papa or whatever. They were okay with that, and when they officially adopted me about a year later, the habit had already stuck.

I do call Victor 'Dad' sometimes, probably a lot more often than I call Yuri 'Papa'. Yuri says I only call him Papa when I really want something, which... is kinda not inaccurate. Luckily, he has a good sense of humour about it.

Let's see... Another important thing you should know about me straight away is that I'm blind. Before anybody starts demanding to know how a blind person can use a camera and make a video, remember blindness is a spectrum. Most people who fit into the category of blindness can see at least a little bit. There aren't that many people who're totally blind.

As for me, I was born with something called oculocutaneous albinism, which is why I look the way I do even though I'm one hundred percent Japanese. My condition means I have no pigment in my skin, hair and eyes, and it's why I have low vision.

I can see well enough to get around, but I do use my white cane at night or in unfamiliar places. I'm able to read large print, and I can see enough to use my computer and phone if I wear my glasses. I can do most normal things, actually. The only things that are really off-limits are driving and anything that requires good visual acuity, like cutting in a straight line, putting small objects together or sewing. Unfortunately, this means I'll never get to be a nurse like Victor. That's what I originally wanted to be, until I got older and started to understand my disability and finally realized that I don't see the same way everyone else does.

I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me because of my disability. I'm not unhappy or bitter about it and I don't need anyone's sympathy or pity. As a matter of fact, I have an awesome life, and I wouldn't want to change a thing.

On the subject of my life, that brings me around to why I'm making this video in the first place. I just started twelfth grade last week, and my best friends Forest and Camellia and I decided to sign up for media studies as one of our electives. The course runs for the whole school year, and we have to do one major project as well as some small assignments. Camellia and Forest got permission to work together — they're twins and they seem to want to do practically everything together — and they're making a podcast. I decided my project is going to be a documentary about myself. A video autobiography, I suppose you could say.

The plan is to chronicle my life from now till June, but it's not just going to be a video journal about random stuff that happens to me this year. I want to tell the story of my life so far, about how I went from being an unwanted baby in Japan to being the loved, talented, cute and successful person I am today.

These videos aren't going to be only me talking in front of a camera, either. I'm planning to interview my friends and family, and maybe also to give them the camera so they can record some thoughts of their own. Then, I'll edit everything and get it ready for the final presentation.

I've decided to call it Caroline & Company. I may be the main subject of this story, but nobody can exist alone. We all need company. I don't think it'd even be possible to survive without the guidance and support of family and friends, not to mention teachers, coaches, therapists, doctors and all the other people we interact with on a daily basis. Every person in my life is important, so I feel like they need to be acknowledged in some way.

Our teacher, Mr. Blanchet, is going to help our class design a website so that all our projects will be available for everyone to see at the end of the school year. Maybe it's nerdy of me to be excited for a school project, but I"m really looking forward to doing this, and I can hardly wait to see what my classmates come up with as well.

I think it's going to be an incredible year!

#ts4 #sims 4 #willow creek #Caroline Okamoto-Nelson #caroline & co #carolineandco #stargazersims

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schrodingersauthorii · 3 months

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Fanfic idea: Matoba gets deaged, experiences the healing power of the Fujiwara’s parenting kicking and screaming

Hnnng, brain just spat out the best Natsume Yujincho fic idea. I have peaked, nothing will ever top this theoretical fic. I will labor in vain for YEARS trying to squeeze out a fraction of its potential.

Context: I am a believer in Animal Transformation Fic supremacy, of course I gotta figure out how to turn SOMEBODY into a cat, and Matoba is target #1 since it’d be funny because a) he likes cats and b) he has a canonically acknowledged sweet tooth and cats can’t taste sweet. Okay. Whatever: I have an incredibly hand wavy premise about a failed magical assassination attempt and cat hair, and a somewhat shaky logic to put cat! Matoba in the Fujiwara house.

Then, I realize: what if I had the same exact plot, except Matoba got deaged instead?

*slaps roof* You can fit so much angst and exposition in here.

Things I could put in this bad boy:

+ Older Natori, teenage Matoba interaction- My take would be Matoba remembering the one (1) meeting with the kimono, and then adult Natori swooping in to save his ass after the attempted assassination. So a total role reversal, where Natori is suddenly leagues ahead of Matoba. And Matoba can’t conceptualize the fact that *he* should also have seven more years of experience, so he naturally assumes that Natori was just A Really Good Exorcist Prodigy that quickly outstripped him because he’s so much better than deaged! him. Natori is, of course, squigged the hell out about that. It is completely unnatural for him to be idolized by *Matoba.* And also why didn’t he notice all these red flags for trauma before. He is a *baby,* why did anyone let them near exorcism at that age?

+ The eye stealing yokai still sees deaged! Matoba as clan head, and attacks him at Natori’s apartment. This has a lot of political ramifications, but also a lot of emotional ramifications, since Matoba *knows* that if he’s clan head, then his father and likely several other older relatives are dead. My take on the Matoba clan head is that, due to the extreme risk and probable high turnover rate, much of the actual political power is actually somewhere else in the clan. I get the impression that Matoba is a bit of a mover and shaker- more active than this theoretical body would probably like. Whether they were involved in the assassination plot or not, they’d benefit from an even younger and less experienced clan head. So Natori is highly motivated to keep Matoba’s survival and deaging a secret until they change him back.

+ Of course Matoba is injured. This is *fanfiction,* is it not? So we have fifteen year old Matoba suddenly seven years in the future- people have just tried to kill him, the eye stealing yokai came after his eye- therefore his father is dead, he has no contacts besides Natori because of the known conspiracy to kill him and being seven years younger than everyone expects, and now he’s (temporarily) half blind and with disabling injuries. (For plot convince, just bad enough to limit mobility and require assistance but not for hospitalization or to be too difficult to explain.)

+ Because Hiragi needs to be able to drop him off at the Fujiwara’s because someone broke into Natori’s apartment and she didn’t know where else to go.

+ Natori and Natsume don’t like it, but Madara’s much stronger than most shiki or exorcists, and nobody would think to look for Matoba there. They take the gamble that the Fujiwara’s will let Natsume’s friend stay without much explanation, and they do.

+ Matoba: he’s not my friend, he just feels obligated to help. Touko: oh, so this kid is TRAUMATIZED traumatized, just on the other end of the spectrum. And possibly on the other spectrum.

+ Same age Matoba and Natsume interaction- Matoba’s inability to communicate and befriend anyone like a human being vs Natsume’s inhuman inability to not befriend everyone, fight. Natsume would feel rather conflicted about it, but ultimately decide that he can’t hold things Matoba hasn’t done yet against him. I think that Natsume would tolerate a lot of the things that drove teenage Natori away for longer, and that he’d pick up on the cues Natori missed because he never looked pass the surface. They’d get down to their core differences a lot more quickly, and I think that deaged! Matoba would concede much more quickly than later series Natsume under the circumstances. What’s he going to do, when Natsume, Natori, and the Fujiwara’s- the only people he’s interacting with, the people helping him at his most vulnerable- are all telling him the same thing?

+ Fujiwara Shigeru and Touko and teenage Matoba: I have absolutely no doubt that they read every book on the psychology of troubled teens they could get their hands on, and they are READY. There’s nothing Matoba can do to shake them, and he has try his absolute hardest or else his entire worldview will shatter. But biting wit and rudeness doesn’t phase them, nor do admissions to cross dressing (canon! The chapter isn’t translated yet, but apparently that’s a thing!) and liking the male actor Natori Shuuichi. They. Are. Unflappable. He has to drop the ayakashi bomb to prove that The Unsighted Can Never Understand, and He Is Fundamentally Unlikable. Does not work: the Fujiwara’s tell him that they already knew, but not to tell Takashi since they want him to come to them when he felt ready.

+ One last hurdle: the whole assassination, deaging thing? *22 is still a baby.* There will always be room at the Fujiwara’s house for traumatized babies forced to grow up too soon.

+ (Takashi is Not Happy. But he can’t make a big deal about it because Matoba’s having an actual breakdown because There Are Truly Good People In This World After All and technically the results are all things that he wanted. But there IS a reckoning eventually. Cool motive: still a massive breach of boundaries.)

+ Nyanko-sensei and Matoba: Matoba absolutely *loves* him- he’s one of the ceramic cats that he literally obsessed over, and he enjoys the fighting. He just fundamentally doesn’t understand why Nyanko-sensei and Natsume haven’t gotten a ring and made it official. This is actually one of those core values differences: Natsume and Nyanko-sensei see not having a contract as a sign of trust and respect, while Matoba is a “tell the gravedigger that he better dig two” kind of person. This is an… interesting combination with the Matoba clan’s history, and helps explain part of why he’s Like That. You’ll never break a promise if you set people’s expectations low enough. + Natori gets roped into the revelations party; exposes the conspiracy; and tracks down the spell that went wrong. There’s a heartfelt conversation about how Natori isn’t the person Matoba thinks he is because he’s fifteen. Matoba resolutely Does Not Believe Him. Natori (accurately) comes away thinking that Matoba has a teenage crush, and resolves to ignore it. He’ll get Matoba back to normal, and he probably wouldn’t even remember anything so it’s not worth worrying about.

+ Gonna have to see where the manga goes, but if canonical events favor it, this is where Matoba would get kidnapped by Ban and his sister. Either to further their political agenda, or out of twisted familial duty a la ‘we can’t trust these outsiders to keep you safe, so we’ll abduct you ourselves.”

+ Spellbreaking! Butt kicking! Politics!

+ Matoba does, in fact, remember everything when the deaging is fixed. He has Conversations with Natori, with Natsume, with the Fujiwara’s about it. He’s genuinely regretful about his actions against them, but he exists within a Horrible Exorcist Society and he’s realistic about that. He offers Natsume instructions on self-defense techniques AGAINST exorcists, no recruitment offer attached. + It takes much longer for Matoba to tell Natori that he still likes him- has always liked him. Natori’s ready to throw him in the lake by the time he gets through all the disclaimers and caveats about what their status and duties would allow them to do about it. “Have you ever seen a conflict of interest statement from an exorcist? No? It’s because nobody cares! Make out in a sealed closet or secluded worksite like a normal person!”

+ My head canon is that the Matoba clan head can’t just break the cycle by giving up an eye: the eye stealing ayakashi would just kill him, and go after the next person in line’s eye as long as the Matoba clan exists. There are very big limits to what Matoba can do, but he does make an effort to tone down the cut throat pragmatism. Small ripples are already forming in the world of exorcists. Happyish ever after?

#natsume yuujinchou #natsume's book of friends #natsume yūjin chō #fanfiction #natsume yujincho #fanfic #horrible exorcists #Natori Shuuichi/ Matoba Seji

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hexhomos · 2 years

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top 5 jay/vik pet peeves? 👀

I let this ask simmer a bit in the back of my inbox because... oh man you guys really want to see me rant like that? Unbelievable. But I'll indulge anyway since I could on about this forever:

#1 the way people straight up delete everything about Jayce as a character, be it talis or giopara, just to turn around and act like he's "leeching off viktor's genius" or "a big stupid dumb idiot who cant grasp simple concepts XD" "brainless idiotic himbo" like… this is so tiring to me. Are you trying to call him braindead? Because that's what it sounds like. I don't find it funny or charming anymore thanks to the sheer density and frequent malice adjacent to this kind of content.

#2 Related to above, but also found on its own, SPECIALLY in arcane fandom bubbles: a fixation on Jayce's body as a sexual object or sexual accessory to other people as his "Only redeeming character trait". It's become so prevalent I don't like browsing content for him anymore. Fans will legitimately make up bullshit reasons as to why Jayce is lesser than other characters (the council, mel, heimerdinger, viktor, vi, whoever, you name it) and then hold up more brainless no personality idiotbad himboXD porn as the only thing his character could ever amount to. Way to go! You're treating this show's singular brown lead as actually subhuman. There truly are no words. And it's not like it's hard to give Jayce an ounce of interesting things to do: most of what people attribute to viktor as sciency and driven and passionate is something that he shares with jayce; sometimes, its straight up things jayce came up with and worked on all his life getting penned as "viktors thing". I just find fandom, for one reason or another, holds a severe disinterest in treating them as equals. And it makes their dynamic worse. (This last point is not exclusive to arcane, sadly.)

#3 Viktor woobification, and an insistence that he could neeeeever do anythiiiiing wroooooong, regardless of verse. It makes him into such an uninteresting non-character. Viktor was created to *BE* the mad scientist archetype; this was his initial concept and it persists to this day, you can't take away his responsibility for his mistakes, or pretend it was Jayce's fault, and still expect him to be a good character. I don't even know what you're stanning at that point. I've had ppl genuinely argue with me that viktor never hurt anyone in game canon and that JAYCE had stolen blitzcrank and its like ????? Do you even know who Stanwick is. Please just read their bios. Both of their bios. Viktor lies to clean up his own story and even before the lore rewrite he was the one who'd initiate violence by Invading Jayce's Lab And Blasting Him With Laserbeams. This guy's ingame kit requires you to kill 100 minions before evolving a weapon prototype. He has an ability called "death ray". You don't think that's funny? Your loss. (Related: a lot of able-bodied people treat viktor's arcane disability as something to patronize him over, and it can be really, really uncomfortable to see.)

#4 this is gonna seem minor compared to above but watching people try and vilify Jayce at every turn to make Viktor or other characters look better can be so unintentionally funny. They never pay attention to anything about his character, just spin a wheel of bad generic adjectives and go: "JAYCE is an out of touch gazillionaire SOCIAL CLIMBER queaking for STATUS who eats diamond dust, shits gold and hates lesbians; he also PISSED on my WIFE," whole time the guy is just minding his business, indentured for life thanks to vampiric 'patrons' making him swear fealty for project funding, canonically stated to have built a name making gadgets for the working class, doesn't even like socializing in Any Universe (and this is the exact thing him and viktor bond over), etc etc etc... this shit is embarrassing brother

#5 unironic googoo talk jaymel or melvik or anything that exists in the middle genuinely makes me roll my eyes. Sometimes I feel as though people watched the bomb scene and then immediately erased out how disrespectful and manipulative it was. I don't care for any of these pairings nor the implication that you have to 'make good with billionaires to reach ultimate peace uwu' that comes attached to most of their content. The TVshow being as centrist and corporate as it is explains why this exists, sure, but I feel so ?????? When I see people acting like viktor and mel would be best buddies, as if she isn't canonically the richest person in Piltover before we even have a timeskip and *Directly Responsible for enabling and profiting off much of the fuckshit going on in Zaun* lol. Where do you think that money came from? Seriously?? Come on. I cannot fathom how people can see Jayce's interactions with her as leading to any sort of positive outcome. They get 0 romantic buildup worth caring for and are boring as all hell. And the next one is less common but: whenever people try to fit her plotline into leagueverse I just, LOL. The ruling Medarda in league is a 70-something manlet white geezer. Jayce giopara is a fag and his entire bio was designed around viktor. The council plays no part in their story and they're far more interesting for it, thank fucking god.

#Hexposts #Jayvik #Arcane #long post

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thestobingirlie · 1 year

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To add to to anon about Nancy's common sense or lack thereof in s4. Idk if it's on the Duffers but yet again Nancy just exhibits reckless behavior when investigating Chrissys murder. Like bfr you are writing for a high school paper, you have zero investigating journaling experience (aside from Murray) and you drag in another guy who has even less experience. What high school paper would also publish this article? It's literally about one of their students. The parents would probably sue them. Again I see people saying it's her trauma of needing to solve things fast because she failed Barb but still. She should have known better than to drag in another person, after what happened with Jonathan and them getting fired for all we know the high school could have suspended them if the article went through. It's like she doesn’t think about the bigger picture. I would love if that would be addressed in the show, that Nancy's tunnel vision is a negative trait she needs to unlearn because she caused so much hurt with it. But that would require the writers to acknowledge Nancy's lack of empathy as well. (Ppl claim Nancy talking to Wayne shows how she's such a sweet and caring person, when in reality she manipulated him to get her story and clues. She's very selfish which I love but I would like it even more if it was portrayed as a negative trait with consequences)

Then later after Vecna revealed his plan to Nancy, she shot everyone down (Steve and Eddie) who were like nope this plan sucks. Steve literally is their best fighter (with Hopper and El) if he has reservations the group should listen to him. Nancy's need to be right and not listening to others got us in this mess and I hope they address it and she can learn from it in s5. I hate when people say well Steve is just against everything, he doesn't care look how dismissive he is when in reality him putting a stop to things is him trying to keep the group save. Besides Steve, nobody really has common sense, they are smart nerds but they need people like him who can strategitize. I mean he was captain of the basketball team and swim team, he's a leader with good ideas.

Nancy also getting a gun instead of a flamethrower shows she doesn't have common sense. When did her guns help anyone? In s3 in the cabin it was Lucas and Jonathan who got El out from the Mindflayers grip and she couldn't disable the car. It's established since s2 the Mindflayer/Vecna hates heat, guns don't do anything only buy you some time. And I hate that Nancy's moment of shooting Vecna was framed as the most iconic and important moment in vol2, when it was Steve and Robin who lit him up and did the most damage. Without that they would have been dead. Nancy saw him covered in vines primary to that moment, she should know vines especially don't care about bullets, if Vecna has them as his body armor why tf would she use the gun.

yeah, it is funny that she investigates a murder as if she’ll be able publish it in the school paper, and she lies to wayne about who she is, saying she works for a ‘small paper’. girl, you’re in journalism club.

i definitely think she feels like she has to solve it because of barb, though honestly i don’t really understand why she drags fred along. like, she doesn’t know chrissy’s death has anything to do with the upside down, and she seems to bin fred off pretty quickly to talk to wayne. and i would’ve thought that after last season she would’ve decided she was better off investigating alone. she doesn’t even seem to like fred much, why bring him along?

i definitely think that would’ve been a better story line, that nancy decides to work alone, and realises that you just can’t do this kind of stuff alone, and that she does need people. because nancy’s development relies on her making friends, so why cut her further away from others when she could have a realisation that she needs steve and the kids. instead the duffers just killed off another teen in close proximity to her to make her feel guilty.

yeah, nancy totally gets tunnel vision and is selfish, which is a super interesting character trait, if it were acknowledged!

the way steve literally said it was a shit plan, and then they ended up losing. but will that be acknowledged? no.

but yeah, steve was a team captain, he should be good at delegating and deciding the risk of things, and i don’t think it makes sense that nancy should be in charge of a group. in the same way that i wouldn’t put murray in charge of a group. nancy is smart, but like you said earlier, she gets tunnel vision, she struggles to recognise a situation outside of her own opinions. she’s not the most empathetic, and i think she often cares more about being right than other people feelings, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not a great personality trait for a leader.

i’m so tired of the gun thing. it never works! it’s used to try and make nancy look badass and then she never even kills anything! everyone else has to do the killing while she shoots her useless guns. lucas literally chopped the mind flayer with a fucking axe, but people only ever care about nancy with a shotgun in her arms. give her a fucking flamethrower, that’d be awesome.

#nancy wheeler critical #steve harrington #stranger things #asks #anon

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skydigiblogs · 5 days

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i totally forgot to even mention that i read through all of digimon next, i think bfhjsdbfjhsdbfs

i mean i also didn't mention reading through all of v-tamer but i feel much less negatively about v-tamer than i did about digimon next

i can go into more detail if people want i guess but at the end of the day i think you're gonna need to go into next with more critical thinking pants than v-tamer (which i would argue requires maybe only critical thinking shorts), and that has to do in main part with two very large parts of their plot.

this is gonna be long (but i mean, that's what you come to this blog for lol), and, unfortunately, i have a lot of not-so-fun gripes with digimon next.

characters with disability (and how that disability is portrayed or discussed)

train kid yuu's disability is functionally cured in the digital world, and a large part of his arc has to do with him getting the courage to have heart surgery. i don't think this was handled with the kind of nuance that could have made him more interesting to me, especially with yuu calling himself a "weakling" at one point (internalized ableism is a thing, but i don't think it was written well with yuu).

folks familiar with v-tamer might ask me what i think about rei, and i feel similarly that it's a little weird to have a disabled character lose their disability in the digital world. however, i at least like that rei seemed to acknowledge it beyond mentioning surgery to get rid of it, and multiple times it was mentioned that despite being able to use her legs, she had no feeling at all in them while in the digital world.

neither of these portrayals are particularly good pieces of representation, and signify to me that the authors really didn't know how to fit someone with disabilities into their story without it being for the purpose of angst.

barbamon

barbamon just. is a whole essay i don't want to write at the moment because of how extremely antis*mitic its design is. if you don't know what i mean, look at barbamon's mask. guess what? look at barbamon's concept art, too. that huge nose is a mask in the final design, but the fact that at one point the demon lord of greed was considered to have that be its actual nose is uhhhh.

bandai what can i say but yiiiikes.

digimon next had an uphill battle the entire time almost entirely thanks to picking barbamon as its antagonist. when you use an antis*mitic caricature as your antagonist, it's going to be really hard not to pull on antis*mitic tropes, too! or at least, that's what it really felt like with next, considering barbamon's whole plan is literally some great r*placement theory "kill all non-aligned digimon and control birth itself" bullshit.

while destroying/conquering the digital world is textbook digimon antagonist bullshit (every series has one), the elements and aesthetic of barbamon in next particularly bothered me because they really do not reflect well when paired together.

i'll remind you too that barbamon in next has a notably militaristic army in "the commandments." this also isn't foreign in digimon--- a few years after next, we would see troopmon in bagramon's army, as an example. but like, again, one of these antagonist leader digimon is a caricature.

i am assigning homework for anyone who read(s) next, and that is some literature on antis*mitism and what it looks like in media.

"sky, if you hated next so much, why are you posting about it?"

first off: because it's my blog and i can, lol

second off: because i wanted that sweet sweet yggy lore

as much as i have my issues with digimon next, i think it introduced some very fun tools that could be built upon. yggdrasil, and the fact it just sent its girlsona to the human world because it was worried humans didn't like digimon enough? EXTREMELY funny on paper, yes, but also a fascinating idea!

in next, we see that yggy is able to detach its consciousness from its core, and i think it would be fun to see that explored further. what if, instead of someone external taking control of the core, we see something similar to, say, a split (yes i'm bringing plurality into this). that's to say, yggy mitosises off its girlsona or something, cloning its consciousness to assess the situation beyond its core's reach. yggy core and yggysona, however, are split up because yggysona needs to go collect data. what if there was conflict between yggy core and yggysona because the data retrieved just doesn't make sense with the data yggy core started with?

furthermore, we see some interesting ideas with yggy's kernel, where it's guarded by a magnaangemon (who we see both fall and quite easily reclaim their status as magnaangemon). the implications of this are that yggy can sometimes be the god that angel digimon serve, and that it is possible for fallen angel digimon to become unfallen.

and then next drops NEO on us, calls it "a power beyond yggy" AND REFUSES TO ELABORATE? NO, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOD IS MADE OUT OF THE COLLECTED MEMORIES OF DIGIMON SPECIES? that's such a cool concept to me (and i am also a sucker for chimera characters, so uhhh), especially read with a metaphorical lens. like. the idea of god being our experiences has endless thematic storytelling potential in a series that is all about its characters Having Emotional Experiences.

anyways uh

digimon next, huh?

#sky talks #digimon #digimon next #digimon v-tamer #(the latter is mostly just mentioned in comparison to next)#fair warning this is really long even for me #i jokingly described digimon next as diet v-tamer to a friend and even after finishing i still think it isn't wholly inaccurate #they're both distinct enough but there are some plot elements that are just strikingly familiar fresh off of reading v-tamer #i only talk about the one comparison that really disappointed me but i do think the other comparisons to v-tamer i could make #are actually kind of cute and charming #next is very much a manga i wanted to enjoy more than i did #but i at least didn't dislike it enough to DNF it entirely

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captainclervals · 1 year

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NO FOR REAL the way the people on here talk about disabled people and characters is straight up EVIL. I cannot fathom the horrible way they'll talk about things like Frankenstein like the takes aren't already bad enough. The things they say are so destructive toward us even if they think they're just heehawing at a character, the second ableism comes up it stops being funny and they don't even get it

YOU'RE SO SO RIGHT ... you get it 😭 I'm so sorry you're also affected by what a prevalent issue it is but I'm also glad to know I'm not just being overly critical or pedantic HAHA I don't want to be mistaken as just trying to gatekeep a bajillion-year-old public domain book from new readers because that's not at ALL what I'd like, it'd be nice to have new artists and enjoyers and friends to meet! but while it should be fun and accessible and not feel like another high school class full of rules and guidelines on what to write, we also need to speak out on offensive humor and portrayals... not on behalf of a character but because, like you said, it's destructive to the real people right alongside us!!

I have a ball with comedy and jokes! I don't feel like classic literature is a sacred thing only to be approached with academic sobriety, BUT everyone has that responsibility to have fun in a way that isnt going to implicate real world people. a lot of folks hate Victor, I get it, and despite him being my favorite character I'm unfazed by just general dislike because if it's just a matter of taste/opinion, that's fine! I don't like everyone else's favorites!

but unfortunately from what I've seen it's rarely as respectful as that... it's very easy to list the reasons for hating him such as, he's useless, he's pathetic, he's annoying, he takes advantage of/is a burden on his friends and family... and typically they won't go all the way down to why but it's still there: because he's chronically ill? because he's disabled? not going into the moral aspects or whatever, we're just apparently cracking on him because he's prone to fainting and wild emotional spells and spends long periods being bedridden and requiring care, and because he can't/doesn't do something of equal magnitude in return, he's a bad friend and a burden and should have been left to suffer alone? and it's just funny because it's weak and effeminate to have bad health I GUESS? and he made bad choices so he deserved it or something? (the classic "if you're disabled you brought it on yourself somehow") I've literally seen people say he manipulated clerval and walton into caring for him and that they should have left him to die alone??

😩 I really don't believe the jokes are made in bad faith but there should just be more awareness of the fact that disabled people are so apt to see others, even their friends, subtly (or not so subtly?) say "it's joke material to be that sick! people who require care are bad friends/family members and your able-bodied loved ones also think you're a parasite!" it's just so ingrained in people that I'm pretty sure the majority don't even realize at all the implications of what they're using as a punchline. like do y'all think I should be abandoned by my friends and family and should die alone so I'll stop wasting their time and resources? I really doubt anyone does (ufgsj at least I hope not) but that's how I FEEL seeing some of these posts!

this is literally what made me so much more reserved and afraid of my own disability and how it looks to other people! seeing people make that exact kind of joke about frankenstein was a negative turning point in my perception of myself! I honestly somehow didn't fully recognize until seeing people laugh, right in front of me, about how weak and pathetic the chronically ill character is FOR being chronically ill and that he didn't deserve the love of his friends in caring for him when he wasn't able to take care of himself and it hit me that THIS is how people see me!! weak for being disabled, useless, and a parasite for needing assistance in simple tasks while contributing very little to the world! I've become even more hesitant about sharing details of my experience with chronic illness and far more reluctant to ask for help even when I desperately need it—

I very rarely discuss details of my disability, so most people don't even know that it's such a deeply personal struggle, but I don't feel like you should HAVE to disclose your medical history just to keep those around you aware enough to not use disability as an insult or punchline. I really don't think it should be necessary for someone to just rein in ableism politely just while someone disabled is in the company. you never know who is listening or how they feel! so out of kindness and respect it's just the decent thing to focus the victor malice towards, y'know, things like his moral failings and NOT towards his mental or physical health (and even then some of what I see typically classified as his moral failings actually are tied at least in part to his health but that's another discussion LMAO)

and not even really touching on the mental health aspect because I feel like USUALLY people are more inclined to treat that with sensitivity (even though I have seen PUBLISHED BOOKS talk about the whole "victor was delusional and imagined the monster to shield himself from the fact that HE killed his friends and family" thing. which i despise as a psychotic person with paranoid delusions. gotta love the constant reminder that generally people assume that if you experience psychoses you must be violent and always one thread away from a killing spree...). but stuff like having bouts of illness after strong emotion or needing friends to help ground you during paranoid spells or addiction resulting from a coping mechanism ARE ALSO not something to laugh at and call a weakness!

#asks #SORRY I WENT ON FOR AWHILE OMG #i really appreciate this ask though i feel less alone and less petty now 😭💖#and again i can't stress enough that jokes are GREAT but there's sooo many other things to laugh about in these books without resorting to #'haha disabled character can't walk five yards without passing out and is a grown adult needing full time care' like oh. oh okay #it's great that a lot of people are quick to point out instances of racism and misogyny etc in books. we need that #and sometimes people do quickly pick up on ableism as well #but a lot of it is sneaky and undercover and gets repeated so often that you might not even notice unless you're disabled yourself

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hua-fei-hua · 1 year

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hey! i stumbled across you on ao3 through genshin (i think? that was in september i have no idea at this point), went to check out your profile and saw my hero academia works there. i am currently very much into it, so i was like let's gooo sooo I found B♭ and that has been a wild journey.

firstly, i don't have any experience with american school system, so a lot of worldbuilding was new for me. moreover, marching band is something from another universe(aka music lover but never got educated on the matter), so fic constantly challenged me with new details-concepts-vocabulary. stepping outside of your comfort zone while reading? great idea! i think i never learned so much from a fic while enjoying it so much ^^

secondly, i am simply amazed by sheer amount of effort you put into it. i decided to read in publishing order, so non-chronological really impressed me. you're honestly a mastermind being able to pull that off. also, having a song for every chapter with specifically picked out lyrics relevant to the content is so, so cool! the diversity of your playlists should be astonishing, i'm jealous :)

thirdly, the characters are just so real. i love all the canon references, i love the reactions that don't feel exagerrated or too mild. they are acting...exactly as i would expect them to in that circumstances and setting. i just accepted leads' ways of thinking and reflecting so naturally

i also read the extra notes when they were available and just...how much thought is put in is mezmerising. for some reason i never thought pulling directly from your life experiences when writing? but it actually makes a lot of sense and it brought me some ideas to try out so hehe ;)

as i am very smart and hadn't scrolled down on the order post, i didn't see until quite late in the reading that the end of perfect harmony is published as notes, so that was a surprise. i understand your reasons and the fact that you're not even in the fandom anymore, but you mentioned in some extra notes that it's ok to ask for them even if years passed so...here i am three years after, complimenting B♭ :D

anyway, i finished it a couple of days ago, and even the notes are quite detailed. images of described shenanigans popped into my head just like that, and i really appreciate that you published them and i got to know what happened next!!

i actually wondered why were the comments disabled since i really wanted to comment on a few chapters bc your work deserves it so much...but yeah, that's what led me here so i guess congrats, you get my thoughts all nicely packed in one place ^_^

there's probably a lot of specific pieces, details, ideas i liked about B♭, so that is merely a summary of exciting things i remember!

i'll say goodbye using my favourite oneshot title:

thank you for the music ✩°｡⋆⸜(ू｡•ω•｡)

not gonna lie i'm kind of obsessed w/the way you just glossed over the fact that you (probably) found me through my (anonymous) genshin fics, which means you jumped through the (minimum three) hoops required to get here, my (named) fandom blog, and then proceed to gush abt a bnha series i did. like i would assume that if someone put in the effort to find my other fandom fics from my genshin stuff, then there must've been smth really worth looking into w/the genshin stuff lmao

for the sake of my mutuals' dashboards, since this ask is so long i'm just gonna chuck the whole (long) answer under a cut lol

anyway yes Bb!! the amt of effort n planning i put into that series was legitimately insane. i made school schedules for EVERY SINGLE BNHA CHARACTER and PUT IT ON A SPREADSHEET so that i could PLAN WHO COULD WALK WITH WHOM TO THEIR NEXT CLASSES n have PLOT-RELEVANT CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT. i made little profiles for each of the characters, where i chose their favorite musical key (and why), how many years/instruments they play, and gave them each a funny little quote/catchphrase!!!

what possessed me to do this for ~20 different characters i honestly could not tell you

i definitely loved working on Bb a lot. i remember sitting down three years ago, practically to the day by this point, n hashing out the events of every single chapter to the epilogue, then reorganizing them into a proper timeline (i also kept a calendar in my notes with the chapters in order), all while occasionally looking out my bedroom window n thinking how wonderfully bright n warm n sunny the world was becoming again. bc really, 2019 was a very struggle year for me, n i didn't take the time to appreciate the sunlight then the way i have every year since. from there, i worked off that very strict outline, and most of the note-chapters that were eventually put up are primarily just copy-pasted straight from there.

i remember being on youtube a lot for music recs when working on perfect harmony too!! a bunch of them changed in the years btwn walking away from the series n actually publishing the notes (which were actually published mid-december last year, then backdated to 2020 a few days later ahaha), with a number of the tour arc alternate chapter title songs coming from songs that didn't even exist at the time of the fic's original planning. my mp3 collection grew a lot during the planning phases of Bb lmao.

i'm glad the characters felt so real!!! while no one character was based entirely off one single person i knew irl, one could say that writing Bb was a bit of a love letter to my time in high school band in some places, both the events i partook in n the people i knew there. it was a very "write what you know" type of fic.

anyway haha yeah the end of my bnha days were not fun, but i still loved Bb enough to hold onto the idea of returning to it Soon(tm) that i put off publishing the chapter notes for almost two years. even then, that was a difficult decision for me to make bc a part of me wasn't ready to close that chapter of my life. i think ultimately it was the best decision to make though, since the fics are p heavily tied up in a much sadder part of my life that i'd just rather not return to.

the main reason comments were turned off of Bb (and indeed, the majority of my bnha fics) is most simply described as "resentment". it's different from how i feel abt my old snk fics (where i turned comments off of them so that i could pretend no one's really reading them anymore), which is more impersonal "oh my god i was so young back then and i give fewer than negative shits abt any mistakes i might've made on them or what anyone thinks of them" bc in bnha it's kind of hard to avoid the fact that i had a Name in the circles i typically traversed for a while. it wasn't that big of a name, but it's certainly more than nothing.

it's not really a feeling i like to dwell on, so i just archive-locked the responsible works n turned off comments for the most heinous culprits (mostly sparklers, but even tho i love Bb as a story, i do not love Bb as a publishing experience, if that makes sense), and for the most part, that keeps the resentment contained.

still, i'm genuinely happy that you enjoyed the au so much!!! i honestly love love love how goddamn SPECIFIC the premises are for this fic. the world was truly built with love, and the music puns for every title were always such a joy to come up with c':

thank you for the ask!!!! :D

#asks #kid-of-yesterday #long post #if you really did come here from my genshin fics last SEPTEMBER then boy howdy do i know Exactly which fic you came from #(if it was in september then it Must have been the saucy xv fic abt the sharp teeth bc pure identity didn't come out til oct)#i have a lot of Feelings abt my time in the bnha fandom that i just don't rlly like to talk abt publicly tbh #mostly bc (most of those Feelings are 'resentment' lmao) i try actively to not be a bitter person anymore #but also i hate admitting that people Knew me bc it feels like vanity or bragging #(bc if my name had ever been ''worth anything'' then why did Bb not garner the attention i'd hoped?)#i know that those thoughts aren't true n all but they're overall very complicated feelings #regarding how fandom at large treats fan creations and creators that ultimately led to my current decision to publish anonymously #ofc my feelings towards fandom n the fan-fan creator relationship have shifted w/time again n i do often consider just de-anoning #but it's... Tricky.... to say the least #haha sorry for unloading a little gloomily onto your lovely ask but i also think you deserve my honest thoughts #and not a saccharine falsehood / partial truth (oh hey that's the main thesis of rhythm lol)#ALSO to have an izch fic as your fave is exemplary taste when combined w/krbk #i am handing you a plaque that says 'certified good taste in ships'

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butch-bakugo · 1 day

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Look y'all, as a person who will 100% take advantage of every chance I get to shit on trump... I gotta point out ablesim in our movement in the form of the whole teasing him for needing a diaper.

Many people; older children, teens, adults and seniors, need to wear diapers at some point in their matured lives and they live with a constant stigma attached to this thing they need. From people assuming they are doing it for kink reasons or cause "their weirdos", assuming they must also be mentally disabled and pull out all the fun mental ablesim/sar, assume they must always stink or must be constantly relieving themselves, assuming their constantly dirty or unable to care for themselves...

Incontinence is something many people deal with and are HEAVILY embarrassed about because of ableism. They feel like they have to hide that a big pad to fully just diapers are something they need and there's nothing to be ashamed about. People who suffer from incontinence don't deserve to be shamed over it.

Here's where we circle back around. Trump needing a diaper for whatever reason is neutral. It's not a funny ha ha baby man needs a diaper moment, it's someone in old age who suffers from incontinence. Is he a really horrifically shitty and bigoted person? Yes. But just cause the villain needs a wheelchair doesn't mean your a-ok to suddenly start calling them a vegetable or a cripple or joking about them getting dumped out their wheelchair and laughing at their helplessness. Just cause you begrudgingly add alittle disclaimer whining about how this only applies to trump and doesn't apply to others who need diapers(not that any of you have. You ignore people with relatively invisible disabilities that aren't stuff like diabetes or autism.), dosent mean that those with incontinence cant see the ableism in your comments.

If you went out of your way to shit on a republican who didn't get sarcasm or had autism and specifically making fun of their autistic traits, as a person with severe autism, I'm going to fucking take offense. Enjoy this quote: "Vengefulness still sours the life of the crowd despite the eye of your ire being on one whoms foul." Aka hate is still hate and can affect the innocent even if you all know it's aimed at a bad person. People with autism are still harmed by your allism even if your aiming it at a really shitty autistic person. I'm not black nor am I fully white but I've been around multiple racist white people who justify calling certain black people the n word "if they act like one" and don't think that's racism. Is that an extreme form? Yes but it's the same rhetoric.

Don't make fun of donald trump for needing a diaper. Needing a diaper or pee pad or anything to help with incontinence isn't funny or embarrassing. Incontinence is a neutral symptom that doesn't make someone good or bad or anything else you attach to it. It's a body process that many people suffer from and it's not funny to make fun of what is often a stigmatized bodily function. When you make fun of one person for having incontinence, you make fun of them all and many have disabilities.

There are so many other funny and embarrassing things you could make fun of trump for, like his fake tan or shitty toupee. You could spend that energy on talking about his many crimes and bigotries. You could talk about his scams and schemes that fell through hilariously. You don't need to make fun of incontinence. You don't need to make fun of people who need adult diapers. You don't need to drag many disabled people though the mud to make fun of donald trump.

Take a different route and ask yourself why you find a body function, which should be normalized and not further made fun of, a good target for harassment. There's so much there to work with, pick something that isn't already stigmatized. I promise abled people, it's very fucking easy.

You can say I'm taking this too seriously and it's not that deep but disabled people have asked for YEARS that y'all don't use people's disabilities or health problems as the basis for their punching bags cause it just normalizes that talk towards every person with that disability who pisses you off. If you can see how it's not ok to make fun of someone for being diabetic due to their weight because it's based in fatphobia, you can see how it's not ok to make fun of someone for needing diapers due to incontinence because it's based on ablesim. If you agree that it's wrong to misgender/be transphobic towards someone because they are a bad person who happens to be trans then you can agree that it's wrong to be ableist towards someone because they are a bad person who happens to be disabled. If you lose the ability to not be bigoted towards someone when they piss you off or do something bad then your just a bigot whose nice first. I'm not a trump supporter and I'm not saying we should go easy on him but I am saying there are so many other things to call this oversized orange with a comb over that ARNT based in a stigmatized health condition faced by many people that is so stigmatized, they feel mortified when someone finds out they have incontinence.

Abled people/people without incontinence are legally required to reblog. Y'all never listen to disabled voices when we point ableism in the community.

#levi speaks #to be clear i do not have incontinence ut #but i am disabled and seeing my side make fun of someone for this rubbed me the wrong way #like really rubbed me the wrong way #find something better to make fun of him for something not highly stigmatized #to the point where people feel they have to have them shipped in discreet packaging or use self check out #so they dont get looks #when they buy products they need #adult diapers are not funny and they are a requirement for many people and making fun them is ableist #donald von shitzinpantz #real men wear diapers #the second one should be our stance #we should be empowering individuals with needs that are often stigmatized or made fun of #not fucking shaming them #ableism #abled people plz reblog

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penisincorporated · 6 months

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My job decided to fire me after I tried to get a promotion multiple times this year and complained about discrimination. Two weeks later, I was gas lit and told that I’m underperforming and was put on a PIP which prevented promotions up to a year. Following joy PIP, I was fired for not ‘not meeting the PIP requirements’. It’s funny how I was at this job for many years and had never been on probation once or received a single write up, until I ruffled their feathers by inquiring about a promotion/applying for higher positions/politely calling them out on discrimination.

I'm not sure what a PIP is, but at least in terms of discrimination you can blast their asses with complaints to the right agencies. I don't know why the ADA is immediately coming to mind because that's probably not the correct one to think about by default unless that's applicable, but as someone who's been fired for a disability before, I 100% feel you there unfortunately. You could possibly consult with a lawyer relative to discrimination if you want options, even if you're not necessarily looking to sue. Truthfully, I'm not the best person to go to for this particular circumstance, as I've been in a similar situation and have had little direction on where to go. At least emotionally, I really do feel you and I hope your former workplace burns to the ground.

#and also I hope all of them die.#therapy hours

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sunhalf · 1 year

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have some frisk headcanons for a start! focused on the mechanics of saving and reloading, some basic chara stuff, and et cetera!

while frisk's body was rebuilt after each death, some of the damage remains; they have scars over much of their body, and while many appear quite faded ( and they faded further with each subsequent load ) they're so numerous that they're impossible not to notice in the rare event their entire body's not covered, and they're almost never seen without long sleeves / high collars / etc.

they also have a number of disabilities they gained as a result of their deaths; two major ones are partial blindness ( from one of their deaths from flowey ) and difficulty with their voice ( from one of their deaths at mettaton's hands ). these are distressing to their family, as they have no context for the change; toriel doesn't understand why frisk struggles to speak or can no longer see clearly when she remembers they had neither of these issues when the pair met.

toriel been helping them learn ASL ( and monster sign, but ASL is the current priority ) so they can still communicate during periods where speaking is especially difficult, which is nice!

related to the saves / deaths / loads, those were quite difficult to frisk psychologically. loading a save is — not physical rewinding, exactly, but frisk’s body does have to come back together. if you could just see it in frames... a load after a death looks like frisk’s spattered blood pulling back towards the save spot. viscera, if any’s been spilled, doing the same. one moment there’s blood and gore and a child’s body in the snow, the next frame the body is standing but their gut still has a hole in it and organs are still spilling and blood is traveling back to their veins. the next frame it’s fine. the final frame they’re back at the spot, and it’s okay. it never happened. it's so fast it doesn't really register, but it is hard.

over the course of the game, frisk's death totals hit the upper ten thousands, dangerously close to the millions. the vast, vast majority of these were are flowey's hands, and many occurred so rapid - fire that frisk doesn't tend to think of them as separate deaths.

chara is 'possessing' frisk, though it's less an active possession and more like they just attached what's left of their soul to frisk's. they can speak to the kid, and i buy the 'chara - as - narrator' theory broadly speaking. in my default ( required neutral then pacifist run ) verse, there's no point where chara really gains actual control over their body. even in a no mercy run, it takes a long time; i don't love the idea that every bad thing frisk can do is chara's fault. chara does goad frisk on in a way that's at least partially responsible for frisk killing toriel and papyrus ( and then, in their guilt, reloads a prior save shortly after both ) — you're weak, they want to hurt you, they're hurting you, if you don't kill them you'll be killed. you're pathetic. do what i say, and i'll protect you. still, those were frisks's actions, and chara is not evil, just hurting very badly — i'll talk about the specifics re : chara later, but chara is also responsible for frisk remaining alive, and does sincerely want to protect them.

once they’ve spent some time above ground and the relationship between the two is less antagonistic and more caustic support, frisk teases them a lot! tells people about their ‘imaginary friend’ just to feel chara go red in the face. imitates their caustic narration. takes selfies and captions them “me and my best buddy!” even though it looks like there’s only one person there. it’s great. chara hates it and thinks it's super funny but would sooner die again than say that.

frisk doesn’t remember their legal name, or their surname. each time flowey killed them, they forgot things, or things got hazier — some of it’s related to monsters, but a lot of it relates to their life before. they don’t mind for the most part. they never liked those names, anyway.

#frisk : headcanon.#body horror /#ask to tag /#death /#queue.

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meet-we-wake · 1 year

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Normal vs Special

Here I am again…Another day another controversy… as being CONTROVERSIAL has become synonymous with my writing !!!

Today I'm gonna share my views on a "sensitive" topic…Before jumping your Gun on me (virtually of course) let me clarify it's not about SEX or DEATH again (Yes this audacity I've already shown earlier).

This time it's something which is quite close to my conscience though I don't agree with the concept itself i.e. "SPECIAL CHILD" and you know what --- It's NOT a Legal term either.

Believe Me, it's not gonna be FUNNY this time but also won't be Nerve wrecking or Bone chilling either....So, the audience --- Just sit back and relax (but keep ur eyes..."yes eyes not ears" OPEN).

If we go by the definition, a SPECIAL CHILD is someone who has "Special" needs. REALLY ??

Their needs are as common and same as of anyone else..They also want to be Loved, Understood, and taken care of..It just requires a different way to fulfil those needs.

In fact being different allows them to VIEW the world in a different way than others..

Why have we stigmatized the term "DISABLED" ? Doesn't the term "SPECIAL CHILD" have become more dysphemism than euphemism ?? (sows the seeds of negativity and Low Self Esteem)

NOTE: Euphemism are the terms used to soften the meaning of other phrases e.g. restroom for toilet. While the dysphemism is a "derogatory" term as oppose to Euphemism.

Have we ever realized that we (not all but certainly many) turn BLIND, DEAF n DUMB, HANDICAPPED, PARALYZED, or show other forms of disabilities when confronted with our FEARS or even when facing the TRUTH or REALITY ? (Feel free to disagree)

What does this signify ? -- It's a reminder that we all have some or the other form of disabilities (whether physical or mental) i.e. no one is born PERFECT or completely NORMAL.

Why are they always seen with either the sense of "Sympathy" or being "Useless" i.e. a "Burden" on the Family and to the Society in whole ??

--- Do you think a Mother has to bear lesser pain to deliever a baby with any form of disability ?

--- Do the Human emotions -- Feeling Sad, Ecstatic, Smiling, Crying etc differentiates between a "so-called-normal" child and a Child with some form of disabilities ?

They don't need our Sympathy instead our understanding and acceptance of them being as "one of us" only.

How often do we hear the cliche "Maa Baap k bure karmo ki saza baccho ko milti hai" ?? --- Does that mean those Maa-Baap having "normal" child never committed any sin or did harm to anyone (no offense intended) ? REALLY ??

Why do we always think "They can't do what we can do" ? Have we ever questioned the other way i.e. Can we ("so-called-normal" human beings) do what they can ??

They really posses one or the other such skill which we "so-called-normal" people can't even think of. As they say, NATURE is a Great Leveler…If it takes something from you, be assured you'll get something else in return.

For me every Child is SPECIAL…There are no single "SPECIAL CHILD"...Why the hell do we need the term "Special Child" or "Differently Abled Child" ?? (Agree/Disagree/NOTA ?)

It's very easy to "Discard" or "Disown" something which either doesn't fit into our scheme of things or seem to have no value BUT TAKE A PAUSE, LOOK WITHIN and REALISE that a CHILD is not just a "thing". It has LIFE !!! (Some food for thought)

A BIG Salute and Hats Off to the Parents and other family members who brings up and take care of all the needs of their "Specially Talented" member of the family against all odds and the hostile treatment of the Society.

In fact, they should be termed as "Special Family" who are genuinely SPECIAL !!! (I personally know few of them and bow my head in respect)

Just a humble request and an appeal to such Families (in fact applicable to every family)….Please never compare ur kids with other's, they have been created differently for a reason…They will EXCEL and make you feel PROUD in their own distinct way !!!

Concluding remarks : What we need is an "Inclusive environment" and a Compassionate mindset, progressive and flexible enough to understand their needs and treat them equally (again it's their deserving right and not for sympathy) as what we see from outside is just the "tip of an iceberg" of what they have to suffer in reality.

On the lines of "Kshama Prarthana" (done at the end of Durga Chalisa paath during Navaratra to forgive any unintentional mistake) I would seek your (the audience) forgiveness if any (or all) of my views would have hurt (but not if it made you think rationally) you unintentionally.

Hum hain raahi pyaar k....Fir milenge chalte chalte kisi more par...

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