Whitebeard fucker here lol I’ve been summoned. Could you write something with a reader whose used to being the biggest guy around meeting whitebeard and going “ohhh” and wanting to climb that man like a tree? Any and all kinks are up to your choosing monsieur gator!! Also happy birthday man!
Edward “Whitebeard” Newgate x male reader
Headcanons
Bit my lip so fucking hard when I saw this request. Whitebeard enjoyers come assemble!
Thanks for the birthday wish :) I ended up getting a lot of comics and manga, so I’m very happy.
Reader possesses a devil fruit I made up I call the sun-sun Fruit. Hes also like 16 ft 9. Hes also at least 40+ years old. Old man yaoi.
You had known of Whitebeards existence ever since you started traveling the sea, who didn’t? The guy was a legend known as the strongest man alive, someone to avoid if you did the type of business you did.
You were a bit of an everything man. Information gathering, Intimidation, bodyguarding, assassin, anything that paid you a lot and you didn’t have to hurt the innocent, Youd do it.
The world government were cautious of you, but always let you get away with things others wouldn’t, as you also took jobs for them if need be. You played on every board, siding with pirates, with marines, with the poor, and with the rich. As long as they had good reason for asking for your help.
Your Sun-Sun fruit always helped with this as well, making you an extremely powerful fighter, possessing the ability to gather and store solar energy and light itself. After mastering it you could easily create explosions big enough to destroy islands, coat your body in solar energy, or coat your weapons, as well as many other things.
Your preferred weapon were spears, your most beloved weapon a naginata that had been gifted to you after a job well done, some celestial who fanboyed over pirates wanting to give you a big reward. The naginata was supposedly cursed, but you two got along a little too well most days.
All in all, you were well known in your own circles, but nowhere near as much as someone like Whitebeard.
That was also the reason you turned down your latest request to kill Whitebeard. You might have been strong, but you were never an idiot. You might have stood at almost 17 feet, towering over anyone you had ever met, but even you know Whitebeards crew was so loyal it was lethal.
The people giving you the request has been annoyed about you rejecting it, but they could do nothing to stop you as you left, on your way to the next island. There was never a destination in mind if you didn’t have a contract, so you just called it joy sailing.
It was mere coincidence that you found yourself sailing through Whitebeards territory. You had no need for a crew, as you had mastered the skill to create stand-ins with your sun-sun fruit, creating human shaped beings out of condensed solar energy.
The ship you traveled in wasn’t too big either, especially compared to the moby dick. But they had easily spotted you, and your “crew” had spotted them in return. For some reason the whitebeard crew were interested in you, though their interest made your heartrate skyrocket as the moby dick neared your own much smaller ship.
When it became clear they weren’t there to fight, you agreed to link up your ships, even if it was just because you knew they could end you before you would be able to run for it.
Stepping onto the ship, part of you was curious at their lack of reaction to your towering height, even as they had to turn their heads all the way back to look at you to ask questions about your “light crew”, or one of them demanding to know what your favorite food was, or where you got your naginata.
When you finally met Whitebeard though, it all made sense. The guy made even you feel small, even though he wasn’t towering over you the same way you were the rest of his crew. Maybe it was his presence, as he laughed and patted you on the back, greeting you by the nickname the masses called you.
But all you could think about was how seeing someone taller than you made you feel. Just feeling his large hand patting your shoulder, or seeing how he was still taller than you when you sat, was enough for you to think about booking it again.
You had no idea why, but for some reason you stuck around with the Whitebeard crew for a while. To the point where they started acting like you were part of the crew. Even when you tried to turn it down, they’d just give you a knowing look before ignoring your complaints.
In your opinion, you were too old to join someone’s crew, especially with you being known as a “backstabber”, as you never picked one specific side.
And yeah, you knew why you were sticking around for so long. It was all Whitebeard, and that weird, fluttering feeling he gave you, and the arousal he caused, but that was not as important…for the most part.
It was only after the crew had settled on the island to restock that you thought about leaving for real. One of your contacts had called you on your den den mushi, and told you about a very high paying job. You might have been so rich your ancestors would live in luxury, but you could never get enough.
Unluckily for you, Whitebeard had overheard the call. He had looked sad about you wanting to leave, but had invited you to join him for a drink before you packed up and went on your way.
That’s how you found yourself sitting beside him in front of a bonfire, just the two of you, both of you decently buzzed and flushed. Your devil fruit power made you mostly immune to alcohol, the heat of the sun burning the alcohol away before it could work, but whatever stuff Whitebeard had on him seemed to have the right kick.
Later you would blame the alcohol for your reaction when Whitebeards hand settled on your lower back. You had abandoned your jacket a while ago, some of Whitebeards crew running off with it to use it for some drunk game they were playing.
Your devil fruit also worked best without too much clothes in the way, meaning Whitebeards hand was right on your back, and your thirsty self had arched into it with a soft groan, your head flopping to the side to rest against him.
Whitebeard had chuckled, but it wasn’t his usual loud guffaw, but something deeper and smoother, like melted dark chocolate or the best whiskey you had ever drank.
His hand had rubbed and massaged your back until you felt like putty, small sparks of light and solar energy flickering across your torso as your control slipped, Whitebeard huffing amusedly at the small jolts it sent through his arm.
You would blush in the future when thinking about it, denying it ever happened, before blaming the alcohol once more. But in that moment, it was impossible to not spill all the thoughts you had about him. How he made you feel so hot inside, how much you fantasied about him, his hands, his height, his cock.
Whitebeard had seemed almost charmed, and maybe he was. It wasn’t every day that someone his age and especially his size had someone fawning over them. Maybe that was why he pulled you into his lap, with your back resting against his chest, as his battle worn hands traveled across the front of your torso.
He murmured and purred into your ears as one of his large, calloused hands groped and pinched at one of your pecs, making you gasp and arch into the touch, legs jolting until his other hand came down to hold your thigh in place.
The praise falling from his lips had you feeling much drunker than you were, vision blurring for a second before you were able to focus again, your own hands grasping at his pantleg as you huffed out a breath.
The veins across your body lit up every now and then from the stored solar energy in your body flickering, causing Whitebeard to chuckle that deep chuckle once more, making some comment about that being a nice party trick.
You were about to snap back a rebuttal, something rude about his own devil fruit power, but before the words could even leave you, the hand gripping your thick slid under your waistband.
Embarrassment flooded your system as you keened, head falling back onto his chest as your hips jolted. And how crazy was that? He was so tall your head fall onto his chest, not his shoulder, not above his own head, his chest.
It had your throbbing even more, immediately coating his palm in a layer of precum, making Whitebeard tsk teasingly, before rubbing the palm against the head of your sensitive shaft, only making you drip even more.
What could you say. You were sensitive. Being your size made it pretty hard to find a partner who could keep up with you, or someone you wouldn’t hurt on accident. And as your fame grew, less and less individuals even wanted to give it a try.
That was why you were keening and whimpering in Whitebeards lap like some kind of virgin, at least that’s what you told yourself to keep your dignity.
It didn’t explain the way you jolted and spilled into his hand when Whitebeard grabbing your chin, turning your head so he could kiss you. Your eyes rolled back, and solar energy flashed across your body as you came, gasping into his mouth, your breath so hot It would have harmed anyone not as sturdy as Whitebeard.
With his lips still pressed against yours he mumbled praise, telling you stuff that had you melting even further into his embrace, hips still jolting and twitching into his hand like you didn’t want it to end.
As you rolled your hips you could feel his own erection, and you almost wanted to pass out from just how big he felt. You had never met anyone who was bigger than you in that way, yet here Whitebeard was, pretty much offering it to you on a silver platter.
The night was spent with Whitebeard wringing more than just a couple of orgasms out of you, at some point leaving you so overstimulated and pleasured that your body had phased out, turning into solar energy.
Whitebeard had cackled loudly at the sight, seeing how you were in so much pleasure you couldn’t even stay solid. When you finally came back to yourself, he placed a big kiss on your cheek and then your mouth, making some teasing comment about it all.
The next morning you couldn’t look his crew in the eye, the knowing looks boring into your large broad back, that for once was wearing a shirt, to cover most of the hickeys their captain had left on you.
And if you just so happened to turn down the job offer your informant gave you, and if you just so happened to attach your ship to their fleet, and you just so happened to start being referred to in the same parental way as Whitebeard, who would be the wiser.
You honestly had no idea how to react when Whitebeards, and you guessed now your, crew started referring to you with a fatherly title in the same way they called Whitebeard Pops. You hadn’t wanted to be open about your relationship with Whitebeard, but to the crew it was so damn obvious.
Even when you and Whitebeard became official, and maybe even married at some point, you still took jobs every now and then, never getting enough of the thrill of money. But it was a lot less, and you pretty much cut all contact with the world government.
Sure, that got you a bounty and a high reward, but you honestly couldn’t care. After all this time you realized, maybe a crew wasn’t so bad. It also helped to have a partner that made you feel safe and cared for, whilst also leaving you limping in the best possible way.
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What’s the most surprising smut pairing you’ve written?
Share a DVD commentary on Scripts and Tongues?
Share a smut rec for Maedhros.
thank you so much for the asks! 💖
13. What’s the most surprising smut pairing you’ve written?
I think at this point, Gandalf/Círdan! I told a friend on the phone that I was going to write that pairing a couple months ago and was cackling at her reaction. Otherwise, maybe Daeron/Thingol (and thank you for your support of both of these!) Both are the only smut fics for these ships in their AO3 tags, so I guess I'm happy to feel like they fill some kind of niche!
22. Share a DVD commentary on [one of your smut fic/smutty scene from a longer work]. (Scripts and Tongues, the aforementioned Gandalf/Círdan)
Heheh. So this fic was born of 2 things basically: a past discussion with @searchingforserendipity25 that set up Gandalf/Círdan as A Ship in my mind, ft. beach imagery, and then my preparing to write some things for smut week and having the VISION implanted in my brain of like "sex joke featuring 'I'm missing your STAFF'". And then I thought it'd be charming to have this sexting take place sometime around LotR, in familiar events--I wasn't at first decided when and where, or if it might be like a "throughout FotR" kind of thing, or in Moria, but, I'm rereading LotR quite slowly now on audiobook and so had the episode of Gandalf recounting at Elrond's Council his research in Gondor's library on the brain. Initially, I wasn't settled on that setting/moment but the more I wrote it (and the more innuendos I could work in related to it) I quickly decided I was keeping it. :D I'd thought initially I might write a longer, sexier scene, but realized I liked it as a briefer piece just moving into the sexier part, focused on the part I was most excited to write and share (the sexting).
Also, I'm honestly full of thoughts about them now: in my head there's like a dramatic whole soap opera thing where Gandalf arrives in Middle-earth and is perhaps greeted with a little skepticism from Círdan (who instantly sees he is a Maia and who's already lived thru like the whole First Age, drowning of Turgon's and his own mariners, sinking of Beleriand etc), vs. Evil Rivalmance smooth-talking Love Interest/Ex Saruman, Círdan coming to trust Gandalf and give him Narya as a token of MARRIAGE um trust, becoming snarky yet relied-upon confidants and then naturally boyfriends, Saruman very personal inevitable yet slay betrayal, later angst and hurt/comfort (pain when the osanwe bond is severed as Gandalf 'dies' and returns??), seaside retirement and coming to know Gandalf's Maia form in Valinor after they sail... IDK IDK. There's so much there and I'm coming to have a lot of feelings about Gandalf as a character. I wish I wrote faster and had the motivation to do some kind of 50k longfic old man yaoi for them; I doubt that will happen but I hope you can imagine and experience for yourself the beautiful vision that it would be.
23. Share a smut rec for [character]. (Maedhros)
Oooh okay. I'm going to share just a few of my favs from across time and space...
Maedhros/Maglor:
Do Not Bait Me With Your Laughter by The_First_And_The_Last - SEARINGLY HOT times in Valinor ft. slightly dubcon Maedhros seduction of trans!Maglor. Absolutely formative!!
Hunting Time installment 2 by Divano_Messiah - Yes I did read this via googletranslate which makes some interesting choices, but the sheer poetry of this omegaverse series transcends language and culture. In this fic, Maedhros returns to the family home to realize Celegorm has taken advantage of Maglor, who is his own, and he restakes his claim. Just brilliantly indulgent, and contains the line "Nelyafinwe, are you fucking insane?" from Celegorm that rewired my brain about unhinged Maedhros potential.
No Pearls, No Feathers by dur - For something entirely different, rough and highly charged moments between Maedhros and Maglor in late stage Beleriand. This fic is packed with beautiful, weighty writing that really arrests you, making the reader feel and experience each second of this brief in time, yet SO POWERFULLY CHARGED and sexy scene with its rise and awful fall alongside Maglor. Really breathtaking, and Maglor thinking of Maedhros denting a goblet in his hand won't leave me ever now.
Maedhros/Fingon:
I already recommended Death and Taxes on another one of these asks, but...
Pantië by orphan account - Maedhros/Fingon, past Maedhros/Sauron - to this day the ANGSTIEST Nirnaeth fic to me even though it ends right before the battle itself. Maedhros' intimacy issues. Maedhros' control issues and desperate need to give up control. Sexy angst and manipulation all around, alongside and coexisting with this real, strong undercurrent of loving romance between Russingon.
Exchange of Favors by daphnerunning - this fic series I honestly read before I read the Silmarillion itself and it's meant so much to me, even as I've moved off in some interests! This installment is the sweetest, funniest, most intimate and tenderly charged Elves Roleplaying As Humans (Maedhros as Fingon's mistress). I love it so!
Maedhros/Thingol:
YEAHH babey secret sexiest ship of the book.
Guidance by iddump (and in fact the whole series that goes with this, but this is an incredible, soo sexy bite-sized version) - Thingol edging Maedhros while advising him (mentor to mentee... one lord to another...) on his correspondence.
Maedhros' Good Report Card by @imakemywings - fem!Maedhros as fem!Thingol's younger sugar baby in a modern AU. Being dommed so thoroughly and with such steady affection could probably fix everything wrong with Maedhros. I have to mention this one because fem!Thingol blew my mind this past week and I'm still reeling and recovering.
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My final OPLA thoughts in a post
it was bad... the yaoi was pretty good tho. Under cut for my actual post
THE CHARACTERS
Definitely one of the biggest issues with the serie is the mischaracterization and misunderstanding of the main characters. They read like fanon headcanons of them, rather than the protagonists of One Piece. Sanji is being given the nice end of the stick and is probably the best written one in it. His relationship with Zeff is spot on and I wasn’t gonna give Taz half a dime but he fits right in as Sanji, mannerism and all, sometimes making me think he was the only one who studied the character (I don’t wanna jab at the actors tho because while I feel like some of them gave a lackluster execution im certain it’s mostly a writing and direction issue). Usopp is Usopp. Luffy, while having his moments, has been unfortunately babyfied and woobyfied into this idea of the sweet pure innocent shonen protagonist. He’s not brash, he’s not loud, he’s not as stupid as he should be, he’s never mean and he’s also against stealing?? Then Zoro and Nami, who are given the absolute worst treatment in the show. Both are turned into stoic, serious, no-bullshit characters. Zoro makes fun of “calling the name of your finishing move” because he is so edgy and stoic and this is a live action show who needs to be self aware that it’s an adaptation of a battle shonen. He’s also really mean and seem to dislike his role as Luffy’s first mate. I don’t understand people who watch this and are like “oh wow Zoro’s so ride or die for Luffy” cause he’s not. He’s ride or die in the manga from the first moment, in the live action he seems to be in a state of constant annoyance and indifference and boredom until maybe after the fight with Mihawk. He’s genuinely a slog to watch and I don’t think most people would enjoy this interpretation this much if Mackenyu wasn’t so good looking. Nami has also been devoit of all joy. They decided to girlbossfy her to make her more feminist which means just have Emily Rudd act as if she has a stick in her ass the whole time. That’s feminism! Read this for my complete thoughts about Nami but TLDR the showrunners don’t get her and genuinely don’t seem interested in getting her. Her character and her actions are so botched just to turn her into Zoro’s mommy nurse. It’s not even that I’m annoyed at how she was treated, I’m genuinely mad. On top of that, the characters don’t really have any chemistry with each others, except for maybe Luffy and Sanji. Nami and Zoro, especially, spend five episodes being absolutely, unnecessarely mean to each others and not in a funny gaggy way like, they really hate each others. Just to then resolve it through a bullshit good talk in a bar so Nami could then put the crew as her top priority instead of the village in this absolute stupid rendition of her and spend her night to Zoro’s sickbed to read him bedtime stories like the good mommygirlfriendoldersister she is. Embarassing.
THE WRITING
This is one thing that I can’t stand about live action, is how they have to act so seriously and be self aware that they are an adaptation of a battle shonen. The writing suffers strongly from the fact that opla is not a comedy when it should’ve been. Let’s put it like that: One Piece is a funny show with serious moments and OPLA is a serious show with... well I wouldn’t say funny moments, more like a few gags here and there.
Then there’s the issue of how much should an adaptation be faithful to the original work. Now I understand that a tv show cannot replicate shot for shot the original manga and there are a few changes that I’d actually like to see (especially concerning Alvida, which seems that it’s gonna be a thing), but you cannot change the story to something that is just less impactful than the original one, if not outright worse. Let’s look at Zoro for example. The whole thing originally about the girl offering the onigiri to Zoro is that she is going against the marines to bring a starving man food and then eating them from the ground because he is genuinely starving. By changing it the way they did it in the show it just loses all that side of the struggle against the rule of Captain Morgan that we don’t really see that much. And this is mostly a nitpicky thing, because then we reach Arlong Park where the story changes go from annoying to outright indecent. And are all the changes throught the season that then make a scene as impactful as “Luffy, help me” (which is actually being replicated shot for shot in the show) not carry nearly as much emotional strenght in the adaptation.
There is also a constant moralizing of the act of piracy and thievery, in the show about pirates.
The protagonists of each arcs (Usopp in Syrup, Sanji in Baratie and Nami in Arlong Park) are sidelined in favour of an entire subplot about Garp and Koby which could work, in theory, if it didn’t take up so much space that should’ve gone to better flesh out the characters and their stories. So many of the changes make no sense: why Sanji didn’t see the Zoro duel, why Nami came back instead of leaving for Arlong Park, why Nojiko didn’t know about Nami deal with Arlong (I can get behind the villagers not knowing but the way they butchered Nojiko and Nami relationship is criminal). And even with its funny moments, the Garp plotline end up taking up space that should’ve gone to the emotional climax of Arlong Park. We sacrifice so much of Nami (she doesn’t save Usopp, she doesn’t go against Arlong, the whole relationship with her and Genzo is left out, her backstory in general is done so bad) just so we can have annoying filler with Koby and Garp? Trash.
DIRECTION AND CINEMATOGRAPHY
I’ve seen a lot of people say they are happy that this live action is not dark and gritty like all the other anime live actions but everything I’ve seen is dull colors, grey backgrounds, a bunch of spot the anime protagonist shots (the worst offender is Nojiko’s electric blue hair and yellow tee in front of the other villages of Kokoyashi). The direction is weird and always zoomed in the face of the characters. I don’t understand if this was an artistic choice or if they did that because so they could spend less money to CGI the backgrounds but it feels so claustrophobic. Some shots are made with a very weird lense that stretches out the scene in a really ugly way. Not to mention the horrendous third world country/mexico filters plastered over everything.
OTHER
The soundtrack is perfectly okay, sometimes nice, I don’t have much more to say about it. The CGI is pretty good, I was expecting a lot worse. I’m very happy they put prosthetics on the fishmen. Unfortunately the show doesn’t know if it wants to look serious or silly when it comes to costumes and character design so, as I stated above, we have a bunch of spot the anime protagonist moments going on. At this point either make them all look realistic or make everything else look silly as well. You can’t have realistic AND silly because it clashes together. Garp and Zeff yaoi was insane I was so sure they were gonna fuck at some point. Exceptional and brilliant. And I think that’s pretty much it.
Should’ve been a comedy.
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