#yes i know I'm using the word empathy wrong just go with it I'm tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years

Text

Church (Choi San) Rated

Pairing: Choi San × Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, College AU, Friends to Enemies(?), Enemies to Lovers (?)

Summary: He used to be her best friend until he abandoned not only his childhood beliefs, but her in the process. One night, he decides to show her a glimpse of what she's been missing out on. Inspired by Chase Atlantic's Church .

Word Count: 6.3+K

Warnings: Mentions of religious beliefs, brazen college parties, allusions to alcohol/nicotine intake, body insecurity (reader has small breasts), oral (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, body worship/praise, slight cumplay, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (always use protection), slight corruption kink, inexperienced reader, experienced San. (Probably forgot something)

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @yunhoiseyecandy @yunhofingers @galaxteez @brie02 @deja-vux @a-soft-hornytiny @multidreams-and-desires @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie

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The infamous rebel let out a pernicious snicker when he saw the serene and usually proper former acquaintance walk in his direction.

"Are my eyes deceiving me or is that really the pastor's prissy little daughter out past her bedtime in a college party?" He found the situation much too amusing that he just had to point it out.

"I have a name you know." The female he was referring to halted in her steps to turn her head and give him an unkind and unfriendly look.

"You have several, actually. There's goody two shoes, priss, prude, prig-"

"Oh shut the fuck up Choi San." She scoffed as she began walking away from him, already feeling annoyed by his presence.

The man trailed after her, his face donning a shocked expression as he flailed his arms around in a dramatic way.

"Guys it's happening! The apocalypse is really here if L/N Y/N has not only attended a wild party full of debauchery, but her mouth has actually uttered out cursed words!" He shouted out, the other attendants either joining in laughing at her or ignoring him in favor of the bottles or sticks in their fingers.

"I'm surprised you even know what that word means." She turned to look at him with a mocking smile, arms crossed over her chest.

"Please, I know a lot more than you have ever pretended to know." He clicked his tongue, elbow coming up to rest on the wall next to him.

"Is that why you turnt corrupt and abandoned everything you believe in?" She couldn't help but spat back at him.

"Hey at least I was honest and didn't hide it like you people who lead double lives. Preaching one thing but living the total opposite. You're all nothing but a bunch of hypocrites." The venom in his voice was unmistakable, nose scrunching up in disgust as he remembered gross sins he had more often than not had witnessed from people who claimed to be pure and holy.

"I do not lead a double life." She remarked.

"Oh really? Then why the hell are you here in a college party? Full of alcohol, drugs and walking STDs? Riddle me that princess." His foot tapped against the floor, patiently awaiting an answer from her.

Y/N swallowed the non existent lump in her throat and turned her gaze to the floor in embarrassment.

"I just wanted to see what it was like. Just once." She admitted begrudgingly, the man in front of her chuckling lowly.

"Well you sure are going to have a lot to confess on Sunday to your dad. Silly girl, walking into the lion's pit like this." He jeered at her.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Just because I came here doesn't mean I've done anything morally wrong." She counteracted his words to which he only snorted.

"Yet."

Tired of his overly obnoxious attitude, Y/N spun on her heel to get away from him, but she spun so carelessly and fast that she ended up bumping into another classmate who unfortunately was holding a full cup of beer that ended up being doused all over her white blouse.

"Oops! Sorry, my bad." He excused himself, looking completely unapologetic about the situation.

Meanwhile Y/N looked absolutely horrified as she took in the drenched state of her shirt that now had the stench of alcohol on it. The fact San was bursting out in giggles only served to make her even more mad.

"Now tell me how do you plan on explaining that to dear old-"

"Can it San or I swear I'll gauge your eyes out." She threatened him as she stormed out the building, not caring that she bumped into a few figures on her way out.

Feeling just a bit of empathy for his old friend, San sighed softly before following after her. Upon catching up to her, he took hold of her wrist and started dragging her in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Get your filthy hands off me! I will not hesitate to scream!" She tried tugging her arm away.

"Calm down I'm not planning on kidnapping or anything like that sweetheart. I'm taking you back to my car."

She let out a dry laugh at that.

"But that's not kidnapping?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I have a spare shirt in the backseat that you can change into. Unless you wanna go home smelling like PBR." He looked back to see the mess one more time, lips curling up into a smirk.

Against her better judgment, she allowed him to take her all the way where his car was parked, standing there quietly as San rummaged through the backseat before taking out a clean plain white tshirt and held it out to her.

"Here. Put it on."

She looked at him with a face that asked if he was stupid.

"Well what?" He asked.

"Oh yes..I'm totally going to strip in a middle of the street and let anyone passing by see." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh for fuck's sake, there's nobody here, nobody is going to see and frankly I don't think anyone cares about seeing your non existent boobs." He scorned at her as he gestured to her chest.

"Ok rude and uncalled for." She felt slightly hurt by his comment, having always been somewhat insecure about the size of her chest.

"Don't look." She warned him.

"Not like I want to." He jeered at her as he turned away to not only give her privacy, but to also serve as a lookout for anyone that might accidentally show up and see the scene. He could hear her behind him tearing off her clothes and then slipping it back on.

"Ok there. I'm done." Y/N announced as she stuffed the soiled shirt into her bag.

"Not even a thank you?" San pouted slightly, to which Y/N gave a feigned smile.

"Thanks."

With that said and done, she brushed past him and started walking away, absolutely done with the night.

"Careful not to get caught sneaking back inside your house." She heard San say from behind.

"For your information I'm not living with them anymore. I moved into the dorms 2 months ago." She stated in a matter of factly, a proud look on her face.

"Well in that case....want to ride back with me?" He offered.

"Yeah no, I'd rather take my chances at being kidnapped and then butchered up. Besides, I wouldn't want to cut your wild night short." She declined the offer.

"Stop being so negative Nancy and accept my generosity. Geez."

Running over to her, he quickly snatched her up and threw her over his shoulder, ignoring her shocked exclaims and protests.

"Now this is really kidnapping!" She declared.

"Yeah I know, now shut up before I duct tape that bratty mouth of yours." San grinned mischievously as he tossed her into the backseat and shut the door before striding over to get on the driver's seat.

"Oh come on. Stop looking at me like I'm a criminal. Just because I indulge in a few sins every now and then, doesn't make me into a bad person." He stated when he saw the dirty look she gave him.

"Whatever." She muttered as she locked in her seatbelt.

San opted for just driving back to the dorms and get Y/N tucked in her bed since it was clear to him she needed it.

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"You're lucky my roommate is on vacation, otherwise I would have left your ass back there." Y/N spewed out as she threw her keys onto her dresser.

"Thanks Y/N, I always said you were the nicest and most giving person in the planet." San complimented her as he felt he should given she was letting him stay the night in her dorm after a little tiny incident with his keys dropping inside one of the manholes surrounding the university. And the administration office wouldn't be open til the morning, meaning he was screwed unless his roommate showed up to let him in, but that was a definite no since San knew Seonghwa would definitely end up in someone else's bed and come back til the next day, hickeys plastered all over his neck and chest.

"No, you always said I was the most stuck up-"

San shushed her by pressing a hand over her mouth.

"You dwell so much on the present image of me you drew up in your head that you completely erased the friend you had all those years ago." He slid his hand off her mouth, shoulders slumping down as he turned away from her to crouch on the floor.

"That friend doesn't exist anymore, that is if he even existed in the first place. If I recall, my friend wasn't into parties, booze, vaping, tattoos, piercings and fucking around with every whore in the school."

San didn't say anything as he heard her ramble, he just let her talk away as she started pulling out spare blankets and pillows for him to use.

"My Sannie was sweet, cute, adorable, always ready to lend people help and respectful to others." She reminisced with a sad look. Pulling her expression straight, she laid out the blankets and started arranging them neatly on the floor.

"I still am."

San's voice was so quiet that she barely registered that he even opened his mouth in the first place, but she heard him.

"Maybe if you weren't so puffed up with pride and didn't cut me off after I cut ties with the church, you'd see that I'm still the way I was. You think I changed completely because of ink and metal on my body? Because I wanted to try certain substances and yes, satisfy some perfectly normal and humane needs?"

Y/N averted her gaze from him and continued the task she was in. San let out a despondent scoff.

"Of course you do. And yet didn't I just demonstrate to you back there that I haven't changed? Giving you my shirt, giving you a ride, yeah I know, it's not much and no big deal, but wasn't those the types of things I'd do even back then?"

Y/N's tongue poked against her cheek as she knew she couldn't deny that was San said was absolutely true. He did nothing different back at the party as he used to do years ago. Helping old ladies with grocery bags, giving away some of his clothes to less fortunate kids, he was always known as being such a giving and kind person.....

No wonder so many were devastated when it was announced he had resigned as a member of the church. Y/N herself was hurt and even indignated by his decision. And after that she adamantly refused to see him or talk to him, and of course San respected her decision and avoided contacting her so as to not make her uncomfortable. He understood that their friendship was broken and he wasn't going to overstep boundaries just to try and fix it when the other party didn't want it. So he just decided to live his life as he thought was right without his conscience bothering him. And he was much happier now, he felt free, something that he had never felt before. Perhaps he was so chained down by formality, discipline, strict regulations and even fear that he didn't realize that he was miserable all that time until his eyes were fully open and he found he didn't like what he saw, especially after seeing the dark and ugly side of what was supposed to be a safe and pure sanctuary. He was let down severely and he suffered in the process. But now that was behind him and he had no regrets......

Except Y/N. He truly missed her and her company. As he laid on the makeshift bed on the floor, he found himself unable to sleep as he recalled all those fond times spent with her. The trips to the lake, hiking, first day of school, their first accident after he had gotten his driver's license. He let out an involuntary smile at that memory. Unbeknownst to him, the girl on her bed was equally reminiscing on the old days filled with her best friend. She had been so alone ever since she distanced herself from him, the world now feeling empty and cold without him. Shifting around in her bed, she whined into her pillow as she desperate tried to sleep.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done?" Her question startled San momentarily.

"Are you that sleep deprived that you're suddenly asking me to confess my worst sins?" He chuckled amusedly.

"Maybe it'll help me get actual sleep, I don't know. And.... I'm just curious." She clutched one of her plushies and started messing around with it.

"Curiosity killed the cat and I don't think your virgin mind will be able to handle my confession." He asserted confidently.

"I'm not a virgin, but oh well. Just tell me, what's the worst?" Her casual response made San flip out. He sat upright and kneeled at the front of her bed with an incredulous look.

"What do you mean you're not a virgin? When did you-?" He was so flabbergasted he wouldn't even finish his sentence.

Rolling over to where he was, Y/N smirked at him.

"Uh uh. I asked you a question first and you have to answer it before I can answer any you want."

Knowing he had no alternative, San placed his chin on the top of her mattress.

"Had a threesome with 2 of our professors." He laughed when he saw how shocked Y/N looked.

"What?! No way!" She refused to believe him.

"It's true. I won't tell you who they were since you won't be able to look at them the same way if I did...... I'll just dish this: they both got really huge tits and it's a shame they're married." He admitted with a smug expression.

"I can't believe you." She fanned her face which she was sure was now a deep crimson color.

"Ok now your turn. When did this happen? Who was it with?"

Y/N didn't even mind that San got up and crawled into her bed to lay down next to her. His face was rested on his hands as he looked at her with intense inquisitiveness. Knowing she'd have to talk about it sooner or later, she thought it would be best if San was the one to know since he would never tell anyone else and he'd understand since he was tainted as well.

"Remember when that group of missionaries came to stay over at our city for a while back in high school?"

San nodded, vividly remembering everything. Y/N blushed and smiled shyly.

"Do you remember that there was a family with a son our age? Chase?"

San widened his eyes and flopped over on his back as his hands came to hide his face.

"Oh dear lord, please don't tell me it was that Canadian boy." He groaned in pain.

"Yeah....yeah it was."

San couldn't stop cringing at the thought of his friend doing such a thing.

"How even did that happen?" He was so lost.

"I don't know! It just did ok? It happened while we were out in that camping trip. Somewhere there, we were left alone and we started talking about everything and nothing til it spiraled into talking about sex and us being virgins decided to see what was the big deal....." She bit her lower lip as the memory flashed in her mind. Looking over at San, she knew he was judging her as she expected. A tiny snort escaped his lips.

"That must have been the worst 45 seconds of your life." He joked, earning him a slap on his chest by Y/N's hand.

"It was not 45 seconds!............. it was 2 minutes."

San only laughed harder at that, nearly crying from how funny it was to him. He composed himself though when he saw how embarrassed Y/N looked about it. Feeling bad for laughing at her expense, he cleared his throat and patted her head.

"It's ok. First times are always awkward and uncomfortable. The problem was you weren't prepared and you were both inexperienced. He just didn't know how to please you."

Y/N couldn't help herself as she asked:

"And I suppose you can?"

Flipping onto his stomach, San cupped her chin with his hand and ran his thumb across her lower lip.

"Don't tread on dangerous territory little angel lest you want an evil demon to corrupt you." He warned her, and although he wouldn't actually follow through on it, he did want to tease her a little. But he wasn't expecting for Y/N to play along to his teasing, only she was not joking at all as she brought her face closer to his.

"Maybe I want you to corrupt me, show me what I've been missing out on." She brushed her lips against his, tongue daring to poke out and press on his slit briefly, leaving him stunned.

"You have no idea what you're asking for princess." San mused as he held himself back from touching her.

"I know what I'm asking for Choi San and what I'm asking for....is you." She responded with confidence.

Escaping from underneath the blanket that covered her, Y/N reclined back on the mattress, her head laying on her soft pillow as she gestured for San to come over to her, which he promptly did. Parting her legs so he could fit his body between them, he smirked softly down at her eagerness, fingers brushing against the soft skin on her thighs.

"You're serious about this?" He wanted to make sure it wouldn't be something she'd regret.

"I already messed up once, what's one more time gonna do?" She pulled him down against her, not caring when he lost balance and accidentally crushed her under him with his muscular body.

"Besides...." Wanting to further entice him, Y/N brushed her lips against his ear.

"Look at me and tell me you don't want to fuck me. That you don't want to stuff that hard cock of yours into my tight and inexperienced pussy. Bet you're itching to tear into me until I'm crying under you. Don't you want that?"

San let out a moan at hearing such filthy and depraved talk from her. It only fueled his appetite and hunger for indulging in carnal desires.

"Yes... I want that.... I want you."

Closing space between them, San molded his lips over hers, encasing them in a sloppy and wet kiss. Y/N could faintly make out the leftover scent of alcohol and nicotine as she let him taste her mouth, but she didn't mind or felt grossed out by it. She just kept her lips parted and allowed him to move his tongue freely inside her. Cupping her cheeks, San continued to roll his tongue over hers, massaging it gently with both deep yet gentle strokes. When he pulled away, he made sure to tuck her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it towards him as Y/N let out a moan that was like music to his ears. Pausing briefly, their lips were barely touching as they breathed in each other's air. San was the first one to break into a smile, the one that had Y/N melting since it displayed his dimples to the fullest.

"Never thought I'd hear that sound come out of your pretty mouth." He teased her.

"S-shut up." She frowned, hand reaching up to smack his chest.

"It's not a bad thing. I like it. Now let's see if I can make sure you keep them up."

Stuffing his face into her neck, San ghosted his lips across her skin, tongue subtly poking out solely to hear her breath hitch slightly. Dipping his tongue into her collarbone, his lips opened up so they could firmly latch and spread wet kisses across her neck. Y/N gasped when she felt teeth sink down, head tilting back to give San more room which he took advantage of. Focusing on particular spots that he knew she was sensitive in, he sucked her skin into his mouth. Each time he pulled away, he reveled when he saw the finished mark that was now painted on her skin.

"I would love to see your parent's reaction to my love bites." He brushed a fingers across the newest spot he just embedded in her body, hand then reaching up to suddenly clasp around her neck. Y/N shuddered when his grip got tighter, her oxygen intake getting cut and making her feel hazy, but it was nonetheless enjoyable. Snaking a hand under her shirt, or more like his shirt, San swiped his tongue over his bottom lip as he started to pull the material up.

"How about I make some matching ones all across your pretty chest?"

Before he could lift the shirt any further, Y/N's hand clasped around his wrist, preventing him from moving any further.

"Don't." She begged him.

San retracted his hands away from her, fearing he made her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." He immediately apologized and began to move away from her, but Y/N's hands raked against his thighs to keep him in place.

"No, it's not you. It's just..... if we're going to do this, can I keep the shirt on? I don't...." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she admitted an insecurity of hers.

"I don't like my chest. My boobs are too small, it's unflattering and I'd rather you not see them." She slowly opened her eyes to see his reaction. San had a sad look on his face, bottom lip poking out as his fingers came up to brush against her cheek. Remembering what he had previously said back in the parking loyal, he felt terrible for saying that ill intended joke about her body. He probably hurt her and he didn't realize it.

"Y/N don't say that. Your chest size doesn't matter. You're beautiful the way you are and I bet underneath that layer is clothing there is the cutest and most adorable set of boobs in the world." She let out an involuntary giggle at his words, letting him run his hand down her clothed sternum.

"But if that's what you want, I'll respect it. Either way, my tshirt looks amazing on you." He acknowledged rather cockily.

Shifting further back, San took hold of the top of her shorts, making sure to look at her.

"Are you ok with these coming off?"

Y/N resisted the temptation to slap the top of his head.

"If you don't take them off, how are you going to fuck me genius?" She retorted.

"You'd be surprised at what I've learned." He uttered, mostly to himself than at her.

Like an expert, he practically tore her shorts down her legs, panties falling to the floor along with them. Y/N let out a soft squeal when he took hold of her thighs and brought her down so his face was at eye level with her most intimate part. San took a few seconds to admire her bare mound, lips parted and threatening to start drooling all over her thighs. Pressing both thumbs against each one is her lips, San pried her folds open, staring intently as he now clearly saw all of her.

"Oh fuck. I'm gonna need to prep you real good. I can tell you're going to be really tight."

She wanted to ask him what he meant by prep, but her words got caught in her throat when she felt his tongue delve into her core. She had never felt someone's mouth anywhere near her folds and she regretted not having experienced it before. Her eyes shut tight as she marveled at the sensation of San's tongue lapping at her bud, his lips making sure to enclose all around the flesh surrounding it before giving it gentle suckles. Shaky breaths blew out from her mouth, her legs wanting to close themselves around San's head but his firm grip on her thighs kept it from happening. He kept her knees pinned to the bed as his mouth continued to ravish at her taste, sloppily consuming her heat fervently. Her mind was so occupied in what he was doing that she didn't register the hand that slowly crept away from her thigh until she felt something poke at her entrance.

"Oh-" She gasped, opening her eyes to see what was going on.

"Relax princess. It's just my finger.....for now." He momentarily pulled off her heat to let her know what was happening before diving back in to continue his task of eating her out.

His finger inside her felt a little weird at first, sliding in slowly before pulling out only to plunge itself back into her. During one of those times where she expected him to slide back in, she was surprised when she felt herself being stretched out as San curled a second finger inside her. Keeping them lodged there, he began scissoring them alternatively so he could further spread her walls apart. During one of those movements, his fingertips brushed along her hood, making her hips slightly jolt up into San's face, who smiled against her folds as he now knew exactly where to angle his hips for later. Using this new knowledge, that was probably unbeknownst to Y/N, he slipped his fingers deeper into her, knuckles deep as he moved his tips rhythmically on the the spot he found. Y/N's mouth fell wide open into an 'O' as whiny gasps and airy moans poured out of it. San's mouth latched to her clit and his fingers working deep in her hole was producing a stirring in the lower pit of her stomach that she couldn't quite make out. But it felt good, especially since it continued to grow more and more, almost as if it was a cord about to snap.

"San- wait. I feel, I feel-" She couldn't finish her sentence as her body trembled slightly, a flood of overwhelming pleasure washing over her that was prolonged by San drinking up the juices that spilled forth out of her body. He didn't pull away until he made sure to swallow every drop she had to give.

"Aren't you grossed out?" She asked him, always having wondered about that.

"Nope. I love licking girl's pussies, especially if they're as sweet as yours." He affirmed while pulling his shirt off his body.

Y/N turned her flustered face away from him, keeping her gaze locked on the wall to her right, which was decorated with several polaroids of her with her family, friends and members of her church, some of them even had San in them, back when they were inseparable. Before she could become nostalgic, a strong set of hands clutched her chin and teared her gaze away from the pictures, forcing her to stare at the now naked man in front of her.

"Forget about that for now. Right now I want your full attention on me and what we're about to do. After we're done, that image of a good girl you have will gone." His words seemed to almost taunt her.

Although she tried not to look, Y/N's eyes fell in between San's legs, filled with astonishment when she glimpsed for the very first time at her former friend's member, fully erect and leaking at the tip as it awaited to be hugged by her warm walls.

"Like it? Maybe later I'll let you play with it." San giggled when her eyes shot up at him in surprise.

Placing himself to hover above her, he hummed lowly as he slowly stuffed himself inside her, working her open until he was fully nestled inside her warmth. Although she felt a light burn scraping against her inner walls, it wasn't unpleasant or painful like her first time. She could tell San knew exactly what he was doing as he began rolling his hips. Perfectly recalling exactly where to aim at, he made sure to angle his thrusts accordingly so each time he pushed back in, he'd hit her pleasure spot.

"Oh God-" Y/N exclaimed when he continued to brushed against the hood of her core.

"Really think it's a good idea to call out the good lord's name when I'm balls deep inside your pussy?" He asked with a malicious smirk plastered across his face.

"No baby. Tonight your only lord is me."

Pinning her wrists above her head, San continued pushing his cock deeper into her. The harsh pounding of his hips against hers was becoming louder, their bodies starting to get heated and producing sweat. Y/N couldn't do anything but whimper and wrap her legs around San's waist, keeping him firmly locked to her body. She closed her eyes once more as she felt the same familiar feeling from before start piling up, only it felt more intense and stronger probably due to the fact that she was getting railed to her bed by her ex best friend, whom she still cared about deeply. She was definitely not planning on making up with him this way, but holy hell, she couldn't deny that he was making her feel so many emotions at once. Pleasure, lust, satisfaction, happiness, euphoria, love? Perhaps that last one was definitely a stretch, but she blamed her confused thoughts on how well his cock was abusing her hole. She felt unable to focus on anything except him.

"Clenching so hard around me babygirl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock?"

Slipping one hand in between their bodies, San pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it back and forth so it would serve as an extra push to tip her over the edge. Y/N splayed her hands on San's lower back, nails raking against his skin, causing him to hiss.

"Fuck- am I seriously making you feel that good babygirl?" He knew for a fact he was feeling absolutely amazing, her tight warmth gripping along his shaft, making it hard for him to hold back much longer.

"Mmm yeah." She shamelessly moaned.

"Am I better than your first?" Although he already knew the answer, he still wanted to feed his ego and hear her say it.

"So much better! It feels so fucking good." She inhaled sharply when that she began to feel the sensation from before. With even louder cries from before, her body shook underneath San's, blood rushing to her head as an even greater orgasm coursed through her body. She was left speechless, a full on panting mess even after San had pulled out of her after helping her ride out her high.

"Oh geez. Shit." San's voice rasped out as he jerked himself off, his cum painting her thighs white, not stopping until he had finished coating them with everything he had to give.

Looking down at the mess, Y/N couldn't suppress a tiny giggle, one of her hands clasping over her mouth while the other picked up some of his cum and spread it between her fingers.

"Having fun there?" San grinned, finding her fascinated gaze to be completely adorable to him.

"Yeah.." She said as sat up to get a better look at the cum around her thighs.

"Well I was going to clean it off you, but seeing as you're so entertained by it, I'll just leave you with it."

Not forgetting that he was merely a guest, San slid himself off her bed and plopped his tired body onto the blankets on the floor. Closing his eyes, he was thinking he would finally be able to sleep, but he found his plans thwarted when he felt a pair of hands graze across his chest. Looking up, he found Y/N straddling his lap, biting down on her lower lip as she grinded her wet folds along his softened dick which was now becoming hard again thanks to her.

"What in the world are you doing you crazy girl?" He sucked in a breath, not expecting her to suddenly pounce on him.

"I wanna try that again." She pleaded, grinding her hips harder on him.

"Oh my- did I accidentally turn you into a nymphomaniac?" She chuckled at his joke and although he groaned as if he was frustrated, he obliged to her wishes and sat up.

Clasping her waist with his hands, he lifted her up and guided her so she could easily sink herself down on his length. Not letting go, he slowly rolled his hips up, burying himself deep in her body once more. Since they were both still riled up from their previous session, it didn't take long for both of them to start spewing out a clutter of moans and grunts as they once again get lost in a mist of lust that clouded their minds. San drunk up every expression on Y/N's face. Every twitch of her facial muscles, every shuddering breath she exhaled, each time her eyelids shut close, he marveled at seeing her enjoy the experience. He loved seeing her indulge in such an intimate practice with him, more so given how special she was to him, one of the most important people in his life aside from his family. Looking down at her torso, his fingers brushed along the hem of her shirt.

"Please...." His urging caught her attention.

"Please let me see all of you. I want to admire every inch of you and your beautiful body. I promise I won't laugh or judge. I just want to worship you."

Y/N hesitated briefly, still afraid to let him see what was hidden under the shirt.

"It's ok if you don't want to. I won't force you." He shot a kind smile at her as he focused back on making sure to drive his cock up into her.

Feeling safe and knowing she could trust her lifelong friend whom she thought of as a soulmate at one point, Y/N reached for the bottom of her shirt and peeled it off her body. Coming face to face with her bare chest, San groaned in ecstasy as he slid his hands up her body.

"Just as I predicted, you have very cute breasts."

Pulling her chest to his face, he opened his mouth and took one of her nipples in it, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. Y/N's fingers raked themselves through his hair, harshly tugging them when she felt his teeth sink themselves into her flesh.

"Aren't they too small?" She inquired.

Letting go of her breast with an audible pop, San cupped her chin.

"No baby, they're absolutely perfect. They're gorgeous, just like every other part of your body. You're gorgeous, absolutely stunning and holy fuck, you're driving me insane honestly." He confessed, his mouth diving into her other breast so it wouldn't feel left out from being tenderly kissed and sucked on.

His words sunk deep in Y/N's heart. He really did found her beautiful, attractive and it spurred something in her. Feeling a newfound passion, Y/N unconsciously began taking over their movements. Pushing against his thrusts, she began to set her own pace, rutting herself on top of his dick. San of course took notice and was happy about it.

"Oh wanna take over now baby? Well go ahead."

Laying back down on the floor, his eyes stared up at her with lust.

"Fuck yourself on me darling."

Encouraged by him, Y/N began bouncing herself on his cock. Finding an angle that she liked, she sunk down on his length over and over, her head thrown back as she used his body to push her down another spiral of immense pleasure. San just relaxed and admired the way she lost herself and gave into her deepest desires. He loved the way she rode his cock, and he loved feeling her walls tighten once more around his shaft.

"Oh shit- Sannie." She cried out his name as she quivered on top of him, her juices spilling out onto his cock once more.

Knowing fully well she was probably aching between her thighs, San gripped her hips and helped her ride out her climax so the feeling she was going through wouldn't go away just yet. He made sure to be gentle, easing her up and down his cock with absolute tenderness. Once he knew she was satisfied, he pulled her of him and set her down on the floor before sitting up above her body. Just like before, he took hold of his cock and began pumping his cum out of his body, plastering it all across her inner thighs and even splattering some on her stomach. Looking up, Y/N had the same giggly expression as before.

"Does my cum really make you burst into a fit of giggles?" He questioned her.

"I can't help it. It's just... I don't know. Maybe it's the fact it's so dirty and wrong, and then to have you spread it all over my body." She explained, which made San chuckle.

"Maybe I should baptize your thighs with my cum more often." Although he was joking, Y/N was more than willing to take him up on that offer.

"Will you?" She looked up at him with puppy eyes.

San studied her for a moment, before a wicked idea popped in his brain.

"How about you let me baptize and stain that pretty face of yours?"

Getting a hint of what he meant, Y/N got up on her knees while San stood up right in front of her, cock in hand as he brought it up to her lips.

"I hope you weren't planning on going to morning services tomorrow because I'm going to keep you up til morning until your knees hurt."

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angellesword · 3 years

Text

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (07)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: homophobia (Tae’s family is insisting he can’t be gay)

SERIES: CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER’S OST: Fix You covered by BTS

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

You closed your eyes the moment you heard the first line of the song.

When you get what you want but not what you need

Your heart was thumping, unable to bottle up the emotions that had been eating you for months now.

One year and seven months, to be exact.

You left Seoul, your hometown, nineteen months ago.

"Why can't we just eat at home?" Taehyung groaned, clearly not happy with how things were going right now.

You shrugged because you also didn't know why Yoongi and Jimin decided to have dinner at Per Se, a fine dining restaurant, tonight.

Did they forget that you and your brother were broke? The both of you couldn't live life like you once did in Korea.

Life in the city that never sleeps was different. You still had a job, but you were no longer an architect, deciding that it was best to pursue graphic designing instead.

You worked from eight to five pm in an office now. Gone were the days you visited construction sites. What you created at your current job were images, logos and even diagrams.

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

You loved your job, unfortunately your compensation was not enough to keep you going, making you feel like you were:

Stuck in reverse

Your salary was barely enough to cover your rent and utilities expenses. Jimin, your roommate, knew this so he lent you his car, the same car Taehyung was driving at this moment.

You didn't want to borrow your roommate's car at first, but Jimin insisted, saying that he had a new car and that he didn't know what to do with the old one.

Jimin didn't want to sell it. He was a very sentimental person and the car was actually a gift from his parents.

So he let you use it. You were special to Jimin. He wouldn't mind that you and your brother were using something that he loved.

"Fuck it. I'm going home," Taehyung announced, suddenly turning right.

Your eyes widened, ready to scold him.

But you didn't. Now when—

And the tears come streaming down your face

—he was crying.

You gasped, but you quickly pursed your lips into a thin line. You also looked outside the window of the car, refusing to look at your brother.

You didn't want him to feel like you were prying or that you felt bad for him. No. Taehyung didn't appreciate empathy. For him, it was just the kinder version of pity.

He didn't need you or anyone to feel bad for him as it would only make him feel like his decision was wrong.

When you lose something, you can't replace

When Taehyung moved back here in New York, he lost something that he could never replace: his family in Seoul.

You remembered why your brother lost contact with the Kims. It happened almost two years ago.

"I'll just change," was your excuse so that you could get out of the dining area and also because you knew Jungkook would follow you.

You had to talk to him.

You had to remind him again not to tell anyone in your family that you and him were dating.

You thought it would only be for the meantime; however, you changed your mind after your father explained why he wanted Soojin and Jungkook to get married.

It was for Castle, the company your mother, Taemin, and Jong-in all built together.

How could you let the empire fall?

Apart from this, you saw how Soojin looked at your boyfriend. She loved him. Maybe more than you could ever love Jungkook.

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

You didn't want Jungkook's love to go to waste. You didn't deserve him. He deserved Soojin, someone who could love him dearly.

"Jungkook, as we are saying—" Sin-ae tried to open the conversation again the moment you disappeared from the scene.

Your best friend cut Sin-ae off though. You were right. Jungkook was going to follow you.

"W-Wait! Jungkook! Where are you going?" Sin-ae panicked, getting up so she could follow Jungkook.

Sin-ae could tell that this situation was starting to upset her daughter. Soojin was gritting her teeth, tears filled her eyes.

"Mom. Let Jungkook be." Taehyung said, stopping Sin-ae from running after your best friend. He just knew Jungkook's going to go to you. You and him clearly needed some time alone.

"No. I still have something to say to that boy!"

"It can wait." Taehyung clenched his fist. "I have something to say to you too. It can't wait."

"What is it?"

Taehyung had the undivided attention of his mother now. Admittedly, every member of his family was focused on him, waiting.

Taehyung gulped.

It was now or never.

"I'm gay."

Could it be worse?

Was telling his family about his sexual orientation the worst thing that could happen tonight?

Maybe.

It was the worst because he didn't think this through. It just happened. It was the only way he could think of to stop them from meddling with your relationship with Jungkook.

"You're what?" Taemin's jaw ticked, eyes turning dark as he turned to his third born son.

Lights will guide you home

Taehyung's heart skipped a beat. He was nervous but he didn't regret anything. He was certain that the truth would guide him towards light.

And ignite your bones

He would be free after this night.

"Taehyung..." Sin-ae held onto the head of the chair, grasping for support. She felt like she was going to faint.

This night was stressing her out so much.

"A-Are you sure? I-I..." Sin-ae swallowed hard. She was shaking. Soojin caressed her mother's hand.

"What if you're just confused? Have you dated women before—"

"Yes. I dated seven women. All didn't work out."

"B-But..." Sin-ae tried speaking again, however she trailed off.

Taehyung shrugged upon seeing her mother's expression. He continued eating his food as if nothing happened.

"Sorry it came out of blue. I didn't want to shock you, but seeing how this dinner turned out, I didn't really have a choice but to tell you."

"What do you mean by that?" Namjoon creased his forehead, he obviously didn't like what his younger brother was implying.

"Well, it seems to me that you all know about the engagement party, but you still didn't budge even when it's clear that Jungkook doesn't want to marry Soojin."

Taehyung shrugged before speaking again.

"I don't want to go through the same thing, I guess? I don't want you all to suddenly force me to marry some rich girl. But! If it's a rich guy, I might just agree—"

"Kim Taehyung!" Taemin's voice was like a thunder when he cut off what his third born son was saying.

And I will try to fix you

"Stop your nonsense right now!" Taemin shouted, as if it was going to fix something, as if shouting would suddenly change Taehyung's preference.

"Ouch, dad!" Taehyung pouted, clutching his chest. "Don't be mean. This is not nonsense. This is me telling you the truth about myself..."

The third born son was trying to joke around, thinking that it would at least calm his family.

"I like boys, dad. I let them do me—"

Taemin abruptly stood up. He was holding a table knife, ready to attack Taehyung.

"I said shut up!"

"Yeobo!" Sin-ae hugged her husband.

Seokjin and Namjoon stepped up too, protecting their brother.

"Father, you are overreacting." Seokjin said, hiding Taehyung behind him.

"My son tells me he's a faggot and you're telling me to calm down, huh, Kim Seokjin!?"

"There is nothing wrong with being gay, father. What's wrong is harming people just because of their sexuality." Namjoon said this, touching the hinge of his eyeglasses to stop it from slipping down his nose.

Taehyung's brothers never defied their father, but they would never stand still if Taemin did something to hurt any member of their family, except you. Seokjin and Namjoon didn't care about you.

"It's okay, hyung. You don't have to defend me." Taehyung smiled at his brothers before switching his gaze at Taemin.

"Tell me, father. If I don't 'stop this ‘nonsense,' what would you do to me?"

"I will disown you." Taemin snarled, pushing Sin-ae away from him. "You won't receive anything from me."

"Ah, you will disinherit me. I see..." Taehyung smiled, though his heart was breaking apart. "Okay, then. I will make things easier for you."

"Yah! Kim Taehyung, what are you talking about?" Soojin glared at her brother. She wanted to slap him. He was being stubborn!

"Well, father can't disinherit me, his legitimate heir, just because he wants to. But like what I've said, I'm gonna make it easy for him." Taehyung slightly raised his shoulders. "I'm disclaiming my inheritance. I'd rather be broke than have a homophobic father."

Taemin was about to attack Taehyung, but Sin-ae hugged him once more.

The corner of Taehyung's mouth quirked up as he placed his car keys and card on the table, a proof that he would not take anything from his father anymore.

"Don't worry. I will also pay back everything you spent on me since I was a child." Taehyung bowed down. "Thank you for everything. Goodbye."

And high up above or down below

You blinked back to reality after remembering the reason why Taehyung left his family. The way he told you that story made you feel like you were there when it happened.

But you weren't.

You were busy breaking your own heart.

When you're too in love to let it go

You went straight out of the mansion after mumbling an excuse to your family.

"Hey..." Jungkook followed you, grabbing your wrist.

"I told you not to tell them." You twisted your hand, a not so subtle way of asking him to let you go. His palm was hot, but it was causing you to shiver. You didn't want to be touched by him.

"I didn't—"

"You almost did." You snarled, becoming more frustrated as time passed. "You broke your promise to me."

"Tiger..." Jungkook called softly, trying to hold your hand again.

You walked away, as if you were too scared to stand closer to him. You were. You didn't trust yourself when you were around him. It was like you wanted to just bury your face in his neck. You knew Jungkook felt that way too, but he shouldn't. You shouldn't.

You were in the territory of the Kims. All of them wanted Jungkook to marry Soojin. They would most likely scowl if they saw you being intimate with your 'best friend.'

"I'm sorry..." He said, still following you.

You were headed to the garden of the mansion. No one really went here at night. There were just too many mosquitoes here.

"I won't break my promise again." He said softly. Jungkook was trying to catch your gaze.

You avoided it.

You couldn't look at him as you said "of course it won't happen again. You can't say something that isn't true anymore."

"What do you mean?"

But if you never try, you'll never know

"I'm breaking up with you, Jungkook."

"What?" He was breathless. Your cruel words knocked out the air out of him.

"You heard me." You said simply, still avoiding his gaze. Do not look at him or you'd break, you reminded yourself.

"Y-You're kidding, right?" And he still couldn't believe what was happening.

No. This couldn't be true. He just had you. He was just starting to show you how much he loved you. Why were you pushing him away again?

This wasn't fair.

"You're engaged, Jungkook. To my sister." You gritted your teeth, looking down at your feet. You could see a mosquito sucking your blood there. It hurt.

"You know I don't joke around when my sister's happiness is at stake—"

"What about your happiness?" Jungkook cut you off. And mine?

"I'm happy when Soojin is happy, when my family is happy."

"What about me?" His voice was so small when he asked this, like he was ashamed and hurt. "Am I not your family too?"

Your stomach churned. Your tears fell, you saw your teardrop hitting the mosquito sucking at your foot.

Your foot hurt. Your foot itches.

You were focusing on the wrong things. You complained about the wrong things.

Your heart hurt. But you didn't care.

Your foot. It itched.

Just what you're worth

"You are." You blurted out after a few moments of silence. Would it feel good to scratch your foot?

"That's why I'm ending this. I don't want to hurt you any further..."

You're not hurting me Jungkook was about to say this. You didn't give him a chance to speak though.

"I can't love you, Kook..."

Lights will guide you home

They said lights would guide someone home. Lights helped people see. It helped them so that they wouldn't stumble in the darkness, into something they couldn't possibly fight.

For the longest time, Jungkook believed this. He thought you were his light, guiding him—leading him towards home.

Home was supposed to be safe and it should bring comfort—this was what Jungkook longed. A home.

And ignite your bones

A home full of love, laughter—just things that would ignite his bones, that would make him thank the Maker for giving him life.

"Why not?" Jungkook managed to ask even though he was breaking inside.

All he could think about was your cruel words.

I can't love you, Kook...

It meant he was hard to love, right? He was hard to love despite the fact that he was trying his best. He was good. So good—too good, but it wasn't enough.

There was no home to come to.

Your foot still itches.

"Because I'm broken." You were stupid to think that you could fill his heart with love.

Love didn't work like that.

Jungkook shook his head violently. He knew you didn't want him to touch you, but he did.

He couldn't stop himself.

He took your face into his hands, feeling your skin. He was touching you like he was making sure you were real.

"And you can't love someone when you're broken."

His response was instant.

"Then let me try to fix you." He said this as if it was easy.

You cackled. This was better than sobbing.

"Too bad..." You finally had the courage to meet his gaze. You looked at him dead in the eyes, saying this: "Because I don't want to be fixed."

Jungkook was right.

You were his light.

You were his light, but you weren't going to guide him home.

You were the light that was going to blind him.

"Goodbye, Jungkook." You smiled.

And then you walked away.

This time Jungkook didn't follow you, but aside from this nothing else changed—well except that you weren't looking down anymore.

You looked up, remembering that when you kissed Jungkook for the first time, the moon and the stars were there to witness it.

The moon and the stars were still here.

This time they witnessed how you broke Jungkook's heart.

Damn. Your foot still itches.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #ficswithluv #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #armywriterssupport #jungkook x you #bts fic

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nikxation · 2 years

Text

I'm fucking tired of this shit.

Every day it feels like the US takes one step forward and then three steps back.

No, an embryo is not "a person". Doctors and researches can't even begin to reach a consensus on when an embryo is considered "alive" and "a person". It's a matter of opinion, largely based on when an embryo would be viable outside of the womb, and even then there is some uncertainty.

Take a look at this article by Wired, it explains the whole dilemma a lot better than I ever could.

You can't draw a unanimous line on this. It's a messy problem with messy implications, and unless science (and not just medical science, there's a philosophical aspect to this too) figures out that hard line in the sand, there is always room for debate based on the individual's personal beliefs.

Fertilized eggs fail to implant all the time. Implanted eggs can still fail too. Medical science is improving more and more each day to where embryos can be maintained outside the womb earlier and earlier, but there are no 100% guarantees on any of it.

Where we are right now, we don't have an answer, no matter how much people on either side claim there is a solid one.

I am pro-choice. I personally would be willing to get an abortion if I felt it was the best course of action if I found myself in a pregnancy situation. Yes, a pro-choice person could also make the choice to not want to ever get an abortion. That's the beauty of the "choice" part of it. You get the ability to choose based on your own personal beliefs about the matter. I've said it before, and I will continue to say it because it's freaking important: There is not a scientific consensus on the point at which a baby/fetus/embryo/etc. is considered "alive". It's all up to interpretation and beliefs. Anyone who claims otherwise is either lying or is wrong.

I believe an embryo is not a "person" until it is well into when it has all fully-developed organ systems (including the nervous system). To me, anything before that is really just cells, maybe with some organization to them, but nothing viable. To people who believe an embryo is a person before that, that's your belief, and I am not in a place to tell you if you're right or wrong. But you are also not in a place to tell me I'm wrong either. Because again, there is not a cut and dry answer to this.

You can believe whatever you want to believe, but you are not allowed to push those beliefs onto other people.

I can understand and empathize with people who believe that an embryo is "alive" at the early stages. I can understand people who think it has a soul and wouldn't want to abort for that reason. I can understand people who just choose carry a pregnancy to term for the simple fact that they believe it is alive, no real justification to it outside that. That's fine.

But I ask for the same level of empathy when I say that I do not believe in the existence of a soul, that I believe an embryo is not really "alive" until it is readily viable outside the womb. I even think the levels of "viability" that require insane levels of medical intervention are pushing the limit. That might sound harsh to some people, but it's what I believe. And unless there is hard evidence that has a solid consensus behind it, you will not convince me otherwise.

Abortion is not murder. It's not. People who call it murder are just fear-mongering people who are already having to make a difficult decision (because, yes, no matter how hard the Right tries to push the image, people aren't going out and getting abortions willy-nilly and going out clubbing to celebrate afterwards). It's a scare tactic to try to convince people that they're monsters for considering abortion and trying to guilt them into keeping the pregnancy. And those of you who don't view your words as being used that way, consider what you feel you're accomplishing by calling it murder. Because, again, no one knows when that embryo is considered alive, the only consensus surrounding the whole argument is that there is no consensus. You are calling it murder to try to impose your morality onto another person, whether you feel you are doing so maliciously or not.

Trying to write laws around something as dubious as conception and abortion is tricky, and Roe V Wade was a pretty solid move in the right direction, because it at least protected the person's right to choose up until the point that a fetus was viable outside the womb, which, at the very least, is a soft line at which most people would agree an embryo is "a person". If you, personally, thought that the fetus was "alive" prior to that point, that is your belief. You are not allowed to force that belief onto another person.

I'm tired of people who will say that "pregnancy is beautiful and a gift etc etc" and then in the next sentence call it just "a fact of life that sucks". I'm tired of people who pretend that pregnancy is just something that people with uteruses are stuck with even though we have the technology to change it. I'm tired of pregnancy being a tool to punish people with uteruses for having sex, with no real way to hold the other half of the pregnancy situation accountable when they are just as at-fault. I'm tired of having to convince people that a 13 year old who was raped by their family member should not have to carry a child to term. I'm tired of watching anti-choice people who agree with me on the pervious point go through mental gymnastics when they try to explain away exceptions to their "rules". I'm tired of hearing stories about people with promising futures who had to throw all that away because a condom broke and their family/friends called them a "murderer" for considering the option that would be the best course of action for them. I'm tried of the unborn baby of dubious sentience having more importance than the living, breathing, fully-realized person with a life who got saddled with it.

I'm just... fucking tired of arguing with people who pretend that their answer is the "right one" on a problem that... doesn't have a right answer... And thus should best be left up to the individual and their physician.

Losing Roe V Wade is going to do a lot of damage. A lot more damage than it's going to do good. If you don't agree, I want you to consider that there is a common thread that making abortion illegal doesn't stop abortion, it just makes it more dangerous. The only way to minimize abortion is investing money and research in quality sex education and forms of contraception. Maybe focus on that instead of the balls of cells that not everyone considers to be alive yet.

There are a few good posts going around about donating to pro-abortion clinics and funds. Take a look at those. Or at the very least try to keep your head up, advocate for change where you can, hope/pray that the US government gets their shit together.

TL;DR: No one, especially not scientists, can agree on when a fetus is considered "alive", pro-choice gives you the freedom to make the best choice for you wrt abortion based on your beliefs. Taking away that choice on a dubious matter to begin with is wrong. People can't force their opinions on conception onto others. I need a fucking nap.

#my rambles #random #i'm so fucking over this shit #worst goddamn timeline #roe v wade #tw abortion #tw rape #tw manipulation #(a brief discussion of the use of manipulation to shame people seeking an abortion)#tw murder #(in the context of people claiming abortion is murder)#tired of people trying to take the moral high ground on this debate and then having the absolute worst take #newsflash: if you claim to have the concrete answer... then you're automatically wrong

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liptonsbabe · 3 years

Text

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Summary: The reader has left the burrow trying to hide from Molly’s harsh comments. Bill’s mom doesn’t want his son near you cause she thinks you’ll hurt him judging you for your family reputation. Arthur thinks differenly so he’ll try to make amends between you two

Word count: 3.4 k. Too long I’M SORRY

Warnings: none

English not my mother language so pleeeeese tell me if something’s wrong

A/N: Hey! Another chapter for you’all. Thanks for keep reading this. The next part will be updated soon and yeah, hope you like it! If you want to be tagged just tell me and i’ll do so :D

Chapter 3: Expectations

It was bitterly cold outside the burrow, and you wondered if winter had come early. Your icy hands clenched your sides, refusing to go back inside even if your knuckles burned and your bare feet began to crack from the hardness of the grass on your soles.

You walked on the grass feeling the dew wetting your fingertips. On the other side of the garden the gnomes were burying one of Molly's ornaments with what, you guessed, the woman would be very angry when she found out, but no more than she already was. Molly's words were harsh. Even if her intention was not to make you feel bad, she had managed to put a huge weight on your stomach after the fight.

You didn't blame her, it was almost certain that Molly would react that way, however, you hoped that within her there was a bit of empathy for the situation you were experiencing with your family. It wasn’t easy for anyone to go through a war that could have been avoided in one way or another, however, for the Grants it was an even more difficult challenge knowing that the trigger for such a war was grandpa Tim Grant's half brother.

You walked around the house, crossing the barnyard, watching the chickens peck at a rubber boot on a very rusty cauldron. The cornfield grasses moved with the wind at the same rate. From right to left, right to left, right to left and then they changed the rhythm from left to right, left to right, left to right ...

The barn was just behind the thick grass rising into an old stone sty, which had several crooked stories attached to it. Four or five chimneys dotted the roof of the cellar, and most likely the entire building was held up by magic due to its crazy bolt-on construction. You took a look back at the main entrance of the house where you could hear the voices of Bill's brothers next to Molly's, deciding to get away from the Weasleys before starting a new fight.

You crossed the cornfield finding a pond full of frogs that you dodged with a little scream and a ballerina jump. Then you came across an old broom shed that was half stowed and a pervasive smell. You headed there, thinking of helping out with the cleaning and wasting some time in the process until William came home from the ministry in the early afternoon.

The brooms were on top of each other in a corner of the shed where the garden gnomes used them to play with each other. One of the gnomes had gotten a match with which he had managed to light a couple of strands of the broom of one of the twins -You knew it because each of the brooms had the initials of Molly's children painted on the base. That one had a huge G in the center - which soon expanded into the rest of the broom's dark fibers. You immediately turned it off earning yourself a tiny kick from the gnome.

The smoke from the fire mixed with dust, and the foul smell of expired wax made your eyes water . You wondered vaguely when was the last time that place had been cleaned up, however, the density of the raised dust and the rottenness of the broom wax on the floor told you about the nonexistence maintenance of the shed. The orchard was contained within a paddock, so you assumed there would be no problem cleaning it up later.

You collected each thing by hand placing them where you thought they should go. You finished cleaning the shed earlier than expected, securing the door when exiting to prevent the gnomes from entering and destroying everything again.

You continued your way in a straight line until you reached the barn where a thick layer of dust hid the doorknob. You opened the warehouse with your wand finding the worst scenario ever imagined. The walls were hidden in ghastly cobwebs, the shelves were clothed in huge mountains of dust, and Muggle stuff were strewn everywhere. Mr. Weasley's old Ford Anglia was on the left side of the barn, storing certain flying objects that you couldn't recognize from the cloud of dust that rose and entered to your eyes.

Well, that seemed like an even bigger challenge than the shed on the other side of the garden. You started by washing the car using your wand to launch several aguamentis causing a waterfall of mud falling from the roof to the fender. Then the car doors flapped open like a pair of wings, letting out the flying objects. You raised your wand by closing the barn door blockig them the exit and initiating a chase that lasted a couple of hours to catch each object, throw it inside the Ford Anglia and finish polishing the hood before the flying, spoiled car got upset.

You forgot the last time you helped your household servants clean a simple fireplace ornament. Years before, when you were little and your brothers liked to spend time together, you helped the butler to clean some objects in the house because it was more fun when you formed competitions between you, Anthon and Margaret to know which of you cleaned the house ¿faster . You had fun and old Alfred got less tired. But that was a long time ago and in the present you didn’t remember what was the proper order of cleaning.

You were lugging box after box for several hours getting a terrible allergy in the process. The last box was made of recyclable paper where you put Mr. Weasley's old newspapers and Molly's worn recipes. You carried them to the fourth shelf from the right, previously cleaned, raising it with both hands. A speck of dust flew across the room, stopping on your nose causing you to sneeze so hard you fell backwards with the box on your face. The papers flew around the corners causing a disaster worse than the initial one.

“Shit”

You stayed lying on the floor taking the box off your face staring at the ceiling. Undoubtedly that would be a difficult life without anyone to help you doing the things more than yourself, however you were willing to try ‘cause you didn’t want to return home where things were simple but with a high cost. You weren't sure you wanted to trade your freedom for a few extra comforts. You let out a sigh ready to stand up when a singular sheet of a recent newspaper flew towards you, stopping on your chest. You caught a glimpse of a fairly familiar photograph in the ink, so you took the paper and read:

"Dark Mark sparks panic." Muggle family murdered. Death Eaters numbers grow” Your hands trembled over the paper, caressing each of the words, reading them over and over again. The weight on your stomach grew and grew, as if it were suddenly going to explode. A huge picture of uncle Tom stood in the middle, with that toothless grin and throbbing nostrils “Merlin’s beard”

Your fingers tingled, and you couldn't help but run your touch over your uncle's face trying to think how he got to that point. Grandpa Tim never talked so much about his half brother and you never had the courage to ask him even if the curiosity was eating your insides. There were few times where Tom Riddle's presence was in the family conversations and if that happened, then your father changed the topic from one second to another. It was annoying living in the shadows, but it was even more to be tied to a cause that no one sympathized with, not even his own brother. But Tim Grant was reserved, perhaps too reserved. Maybe that was the reason why he allowed the actions of his little brother to escalate to those levels and allowed too that his only son had choose the wrong side. However, you didn’t understand - or support - Voldemort's ambitions, neither did your grandpa and that cost you to be rejected by the rest of your family.

Your eyes watered and you didn't know if it was because of guilt or if the damn dirt had entered your eyelids. You looked at the ceiling in the haze. You searched your mind and realized that the situation affected you too much. You weren't welcome with the Weasleys, nor with the Grants. You felt desolate, as if the barn walls were closing in on you.

Molly's reaction was valid, you repeated yourself as many times as you could, because anyone who had lost a large part of it’s family to a member of another's would have done the same thing or something so much worse. You shook your head, once again feeling the rejection you were used to.

The barn door opened suddenly, letting in a gust of wind hitting your body directly on the ground. Your skin prickled from the cold causing the newcomer to laugh.

You looked up to find yourself face to face with the distorted figure of Arthur Weasley who was holding a couple of drinks along with a weird smile that made you laugh. The man sat on the floor next to you leaving the glass next to your face.

"I'm sorry I scared you. it’s freezing cold out there and in my defense, nobody comes to this place”

“It’s okay, I wasn't expecting visitors”

"Fine, then" Arthur took a sip of his drink licking his chapped lips, but still showing you that smile so much like Bill's. You folded the newspaper on your lap, nervous. "So ... what are you doing lying in my barn?"

"I ... I was trying to clean this place up”

"Is that so? ‘cuz It seemed like you were about to take a nap."

“Yeah, i had a little mishap here”

"I see, do you want to get up?"

"Yes, thank you." Arthur held out his hand, slowly pulling you up to leave you sitting in front of him. He offered you the drink and you clinked glasses before drinking. It was hot chocolate, you guessed, made by Molly. Your stomach churned.

Mr. Weasley glanced around the barn, surprised to see more than half perfectly arranged

“This place hasn't been so clean since Bill was born”

“Sorry?

"No, no, it's okay," he mentioned, waving to play it off, "Molly had been asking me for a long time to do it, so I think you just made my job easier."

"It's nothing, Mr. Weasley

"Did you see something you liked?"

"Uh, yeah," you answered wiping your lips. "Ignoring the fact that your car almost killed me, I noticed that you have a lot of muggle stuff."

“Ah, yes. They are fascinating, don't you think?”

"Certainly, but I also realized that most of them are useless, why do you still have them here?"

"I like to collect them," he replied, taking another sip of his drink. You mimicked his action “to be honest, I don't even have a clue how these things works, but I suppose I'll find out in time. Muggle devices are not as advanced as ours, much less functional, however, I find them entertaining and special somehow, did you know that they use a subway to transport themselves underground? And they must leave coins in a machine so that they give them a little ticket. A ticket! The first time I used one I was deadly excited!

You smiled, imagining how it would to see Mr. Weasley that happy

"I could help you understand how they work." You winced when Arthur looked at you with wide eyes. "My ... my grandfather lived with Muggles for a while and knows a lot about this artifacts. Several times he spoke of his usefulness to my brothers and me”

“Fantastic!” He replied cheerfully. You smiled “It's wonderful (Y/N), thank you”

“No problem”

Then a silence settled between you, being cut off only by the babble of the gnomes outside the barn kicking the timbers trying to get inside. Arthur cleared his throat as he ran his little blue eyes over each of the walls of his newly renovated barn. He smiled again placing one of his hands on your shoulder

"I found out what happened with Molly in the morning," he mentioned. You nodded “My children told me what you said to each other and ...”

"I'm sorry I spoke badly to your wife, Mr. Weasley" you interrupted, sipping your glass all at once, leaving it on the floor. "I know after this I'll have to talk to William and find another place to stay."

“She is not like that. She rarely has such behavior with the people and I can only think that my Molly has a lot of mixed feelings. The war has us all nervous and the fact that the memories of the past have arisen again ... they make her have reactions that are not very usual in Molly.”

"I'm not blaming her. I think she's right”

“Why?”

"What I did to my family ... running away, betray them..." You started playing with your fingers on your lap, embarrassed. "It's not something a trustworthy person would do."

“What are you talking about?”

“For the Grants, it’s very important to support the family in their endeavors without stopping to think if that could be harmful to the others. With uncle Tom becoming the most dangerous dark wizard of all times ... people would think that his relatives would follow his steps and they did “Mr. Weasley listened attentively, ignoring the screams of his wife announcing that the food was ready “At least most of them. Now all of us are tied to the He-who-must-not-be-named, whether we want it or not. It ruined our lives and I couldn't stay in that place forever

"Why aren't you on his side?"

"Because I can't see my brothers make a wrong decision" You crumpled the newspaper with your hands looking at how the pic of Lord Voldemort turned into a streaked stain "I have my own convictions, even if you don’t believe so”

"I don't believe anything of you, (Y/N)" Arthur's voice turned stoic as he stared at you harshly. "Neither the good nor the bad. I am a believer that you should judge someone by what demonstrates, not by what it’s said about them. Right now you aren’t showing me anything but that there is something in your family that you don’t like and that the dirt in my barn is intolerable to you”

You smiled

"We're all here waiting to see what are you capable of. Good or bad, you get to decide who (Y/N) Grant is from now on. Starting over. Forget that the Grants' actions make you worthy of the consequences”

Warmth attacked your chest. It was comforting to feel for the first time the acceptance of someone who wasn't doing it out of mere compassion or that it was Bill. That Arthur gave you the benefit of the doubt encouraged you to continue as before: trying, trying, trying.

"I think his wife doesn't think the same."

Arthur Weasley patted your shoulder.

"I'll talk to her, she'll understand. Meanwhile let's go home, it's time for lunch”

"Did Bill come back?"

"Yes, my son and I came back from the ministry a while ago.He wanted to find you, but I asked him to let me do it. You know, because sometimes it's good to have the daughters-in-law on your side”

Your cheeks heated up and then the rest of your face turned completely red. Arthur studied your reaction, smiling as he realized you were just a kid looking for approval. He patted your shoulder again, inviting you to leave the rest of the mess and accompany him to the burrow.

"These aren’t a good times to trust the Daily Prophet," Arthur mentioned, noticing the crumpled newspaper in your hands. You skipped the pond and skirted the cornfield until you reached the garden entrance where Bill's brothers and Bill himself had set up a long table near Molly's apple tree where they planned to spend the afternoon. One of the twins raised his wand putting the cuterly across the table, one set for each of the family members. You wondered if there would be a place for you at the table “Honestly, these are not good times to trust anything or anyone, so if you accept my advice, don't worry too much about reading the newspapers, they will leave you more questions than answers, Hey, you will break that!

Arthur scolded his twins when they fiddled with forks in a battle to find out which of them would wash the dishes after eating. Arthur ran towards them while Bill approached you greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. He frowned, watching you closely and then removed his coat, draping it over your shoulders.

"What the hell were you doing outside without a sweater?" It's freezing!”

"You worry way too much," you told him, pressing the faux fur against your shivering body. The truth was that, after the exchange of words with Bill's mother, you didn’t have the time to get a sweater before leaving and of course your wounded pride wouldn’t let you get dressed again before going to hide in the barn. Bill clicked his tongue rubbing your arms. "I'm fine, I just lost track of the time cleaning your father's barn and I didn't feel the cold until now”

"You're bad at lying, did you know that?"

"You should stop asking so many questions." You smiled at the grimace on the older Weasley's face. "Nothing happened."

"That's not what the twins told me," he suddenly mentioned. You felt the tension in Bill's body when Molly passed by him giving you a dangerous look, however you decided to ignore it for the good of both of you “ What my mom said ...”

"It’s okay, it doesn't matter I discussed it with your father and we worked it out”

“Are you sure?” You nodded “I hope so. Not because she’s my mother I will let her offend you in any way”

Your smile widened. You couldn't possibly love that man more than you already did. You approached his body, throwing your arms around Bill's neck, having to stand on your tiptoes to reach only to kiss his chin. He lowered his head, managing to bring his lips together.

“Help your brothers set the table, I'll go take a bath”

"Don't you prefer i help you instead?" You laughed

"I can do it by myself, thanks”

"Hmm ... you sure?”

"William ...”

"Okay, okay, okay," he urged you leaving a couple of kisses on the corner of your lips. "Don't be gone too long. i’ll miss you, love."

“I will not. Wait for me just here, yeah?”

You went upstairs to the room you shared with Bill and jumped into the shower enjoying the warmth of the water above your head. You leaned against the tiles thinking that your first day in the burrow had turned out very bad, but better than you had thought. Even if Molly didn't believe your words, you would do your best to fullfil the expectations of the others members of the Order. You would be loyal to them, to the Aurors, and you would fight whoever you had to to prove that your actions were worth more than the rumors surrounding the Grants did.

You were going to prove how wrong they were with you and, incidentally, you would forge a reputation of your own, one of which you would proud of

Tag:

@purple-vodka-99

#bill weasley #bill weasley imagine #bill weasley x reader #domhnall gleeson #domhnall gleeson imagine #harry potter imagine #harry potter cast #harry potter x reader #domhnall gleeson x reader

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an-eldritch-peredhel · 3 years

Text

The Feanturi's Forms

I've always assumed that the Valar had several forms that they can change between, so for instance they've got their "divine" form (eldritch abomination), their "not-a-form" form where they're just energy, their safe for incarnates form, and their "stuff" forms, which are things like trees for Yavanna, saltwater springs for Ulmo, etc.

But I had a thought, recently (with the help of a post I lost, the gist was elves were definitely dying before Orome found them, so why doesn't Namo show up to Mahanaxar like "Yup, elves woke up, they're dying, someone should go get em"? Answer: he absolutely tried to but got cut off and was salty enough that he didn't bring it up again)

Assuming that, then Namo knew what elves looked like before everyone else. And being Lord of the dead he probably has a lot more experience with incarnates than the other Valar. Not everyone went to Valinor! And once humans wake up that's death on a daily basis.

Presumably Vaire also knew, given that she's weaving history and the elves awakening is y'know, a historical event. Even if she didn't, Namo would've told his wife. And his siblings as well, who also have "interact with incarnates" as their job description in some form or another (and Este, who Irmo would've told if Namo didn't)

Where am I going with this? tl;dr: the goth doctors' club members (feanturi+spouses) are the most "normal" looking valar. They've had a) the most time to get used to it, b) the most reason to really try, and c) the most references on how to not sit firmly in the uncanny valley.

So yes, sometimes they look like impossible, twisted, holy things. Sometimes Irmo is a kaleidoscope of colors with no ears filtered through the lovechild of impressionism and cubism, and Este is the shivery silver of a scar with needle-thin fingers that smell like alcohol, and Nienna is a hundred-thousand sobbing eyes with no mouth but wailing anyway, and Vaire is all spidery limbs spinning and measuring and cutting to weave history together, and Namo is what could generously be called a skeleton with no eyes in its grinning gaping sockets, but mostly they are not.

Mostly, Irmo is soft and smiling, with his sleeves rolled up for gardening and his hair more flyaways than braid, and you can ignore that he can't always hear or understand you, that you have to speak clearly to catch his attention from wherever it wanders. (nowhere that you've seen- or at least nowhere you remember)

Mostly, Este is kind but stern and infinitely practical, her hands a little dry and cold from washing them so often, and you can ignore when her handwriting slips from bad but normal to incomprehensible symbols that catch the light wrong, that her hands go a little too steady as she stitches a wound.

Mostly, Nienna is tired but never hopeless, her eyes are always red and puffy and her clothes are always soft and warm and her arms are always ready to catch you in the best hug you've ever had, and you can ignore that she can't always find words to say besides "I'm so sorry", that you have to strain to hear her multitude of whispered reassurances. (though you never understand them after the moment has passed)

Mostly, Vaire is passionate and focused, her hair in tiny woven braids that fall in her face if they aren't tied back, and you can ignore how her hands never stop moving as if she's embroidering the air, that she knows things from your past she hasn't been told.

Mostly, Namo is grim and patient, he is never seen in anything less than pristine clothes and though he never seems to smile his eyebrows jump on the rare occasion that he is amused, and you can ignore that he can never quite look at your face, that you have to exaggerate your movements for him to pick up on anything besides the presence of your soul. (you can feel it when he senses you, and when he passes you by- he's Death, after all)

Death, History, Empathy, Healing, and Dreams. Past, Present, and Future. Of course they look like the Children of Illuvatar, of course they look like they belong in this world. Where would we be without them? Where would they be without us?

#tolkien #my headcanons #valar #feanturi #namo mandos #vaire #nienna #este #irmo lorien #look i just really love them #theyre my faves- with the 'babies' (orome nessa tulkas and vana) at a close second and thats only bc of my headcanons for them #humanizing eldritch entities and vice versa is my kink /j

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owlsbride · 3 years

Text

Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter V: A Suitable Marriage

"So…" Sakura answered, arriving at an obvious conclusion observing her cup of sake "now you have to go all way to Suna to solve Naruto's mess."

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, looking at the empty space behind her "I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but it's my job after all." He concluded finally directing his gaze to Sakura to look at her big furious green eyes. He suppressed an inner smile.

"But why? Why don't you send Naruto back again? He was the one that asked the Kazekage an extra train program to be a better Hokage" Sakura started annoyed "And Gaara accepted. What was he thinking? Besides, they both made this mess together."

It was infuriating. Gaara, the most collect man she has ever known, all so stoic, silently analyzing everything around him with his sharp mind. Separated from the world, absorbed in his thoughts with his celestial eyes always directed to the horizon, protecting his village. She couldn't understand it.

"Maa, Sa Ku Ra, calm down" Kakashi spoke with his soft tone, guessing what was going on inside her mind "Gaara may be the Kazekage, and a great one, by the way, a fine young man, but inside he's still a child. I think he's still trying to figure out what human relationships are all about, and when being too friendly or solicitous is too much. I guess he couldn't say no to a friend." There was so much tenderness in his words that Sakura sighed leaning back in her chair a little less angry.

"God, he's worst than Sai." Sakura agreed finally most to herself than to Kakashi thinking about the problems that the young man with black hair suffered and caused due to his lack of social empathy.

"Trust me Sakura, if I were to choose between them both..." Kakashi left the phrase hanging. He was not mad at the Kazekage nor Naruto, he was just tired and resigned with the last one. Naruto would never really change.

"Still..." Sakura began again "I don't know why you can not solve this problem from here. Was it that bad?

"You couldn't just start to imagine."

"But this weather..." She was less angry but pushier now.

"If I didn't know you better, I would think you don't want to let me go, Sakura" he spoke in such a suggestive way that Sakura trembled under his gaze "but I'm sure is not the case, right?"

"Of course not Hokage Sama" she was blushing, a lot "I'm just worried about the security of our leader." Sakura finally answered, wrinkling her nose. Kakashi laughed at her face.

"Relax Sakura, I'm not just an old useless politician".

"I guess you are right... you are not a politician" Sakura said, sticking out her tone.

"Careful Sa Ku Ra, the cat may eat your tongue someday" Kakashi answered her with a deep dark tone licking his own lips, or at least that's what she believed. Again the warm feeling forming in her low stomach, now she was sure, it was not her chakra.

"Yeah... anyway..." she tried to hide her excitement and shame at once adopting a much more professional stance, "I think I should go with you." She finished crossing her arms on the table.

"And that could be because...?" Kakashi leaned back on his chair taking distance from Sakura, eyeing her suspiciously, he had seen this coming. He knew that Sakura was going to ask her to go with him.

"I think it's pretty obvious Sensei." He hated the honorifics, but he just stopped fighting it a long ago with Sakura. It was just a mannerism, a way of speaking, not particularly a sign of respect or distance. It was merely their ways, and it was ok, strange and alluring at times, but ok.

"Go on..."

"I believe that the company of a nin doctor in this weird mission of yours, trying to recover Suna from the Tsunami named Naruto, could be of much help." She finished matter of factly.

"For what? a heatstroke?" Kakashi wasn't going to fall in her charms.

"Stop mocking me, Sensei" Sakura pouted. Now she was feeling hurt.

"I'm not mocking you." He smiled. She was cute sometimes. "I'm just saying that there are no risks in my short journey to Suna. It's a safe trip. Only three days and I'll be back; besides, you forget something."

"What?" Sakura asked in confusion

"You are on vacations."

"Yes, a vacation I didn't request for." It was evident that she still felt horrible about that decision.

"And yet, here we are. Having dinner in your second night of" Kakashi said raising his cup, even if he was not going to drink it with Sakura watching straight to his face.

"I guess..." Sakura did drink her sake and started again with all the Suna issue "So, you are going alone? Who is going to be encharged during these days?"

"I asked an old friend to help me here. Luckily she said yes. Having you not accepting the recess and Naruto trying to put his last training in practice is too much of a danger to leave the village alone. And no, I'm not travelling by myself" Kakashi gave her a wink.

"Hey! I'm not that bad. I'm not going to break the rules Hokage Sama". Sakura was starting to feel offended. She was not a girl anymore. He had to stop seeing her like one "I'm not a gir..."

"A girl. You are not a girl anymore." Kakashi finished for her "I'm well aware of that". Eyes darker.

"So, Who is this friend of yours and with who are you travelling with?" Sakura asked incredulously. She didn't know Kakashi had friends except for Guy Sensei and Genma, (who were definitely not suitable for cover him in these three days) less a woman. Why was she a bit jealous, and why was Kakashi noticing it? He laughed a true-hearted laugh.

"Easy Sakura, Lady Tsunade is going to take my place these days, I think she is more than capable, don't you agree? He was genuinely asking her opinion.

"Wow!" Sakura said in surprise "She must really love you like to say yes."

"Doesn't everyone love me? He was such a Drama Queen. "And about the travelling arrangements, I'm going with Shikamaru."

"Well..." Sakura pondered "Shikamaru is really capable, and he is your advisor. I think he is the most suitable for the job." Sakura concluded.

"Yes," Kakashi stated. "though, I think he has his personal agenda on this journey."

"Oh... You mean..." Sakura didn't want to talk more words than necessary. She didn't know how much information Kakashi had about Temari and Shikamaru's relationship.

"Of course Sakura," Kakashi spoke as it was the most obvious thing in the world "The princess."

"So you know..." It was not a question.

"Sakura, I'm not the Hokage for nothing, you know?" There was fun in his voice. "I've seen how they look at each other, I've listened when they talk at the phone. I've been there when they fight together side by side at the Fourth War. It was just a matter of time." He finished almost with longing.

"Like us" Sakura whispered to herself not expecting Kakashi to listen.

"Like us, what? His eyes were gleaming. Sakura felt nervous.

"Just..." she had to think quickly. "Just like the rest of us, you noted the romance coming back then too." That was closed. Kakashi shifted his mouth uncomfortably under his mask, wrinkling his nose. He wasn't buying it.

"Yes." Disappointment in his words. "Anyway... I think a wedding is coming soon and it will become most profitable for both villages. Suna and Konoha united forever. Shikamaru and princess Temari, we couldn't ask for more." Kakashi spoked low.

A cold chill ran down Sakura's spine upon hearing Kakashi's words. It was the Hokage who spoke: cold, distant, calculating. She wasn't sure if she liked this version of Kakashi. Yes, she has witnessed terrible decisions that he had to make as the village leader, she had seen the horrors of the war and what makes people do. But why this bothered her so much? Was it because she had lost sight of the fact that he was the Hokage after all and not just his partner, friend, and secret fantasy? Was she so in love that, now, only one sentence about the convenience of marriage was enough to make all the bandages fall off?

Kakashi hadn't actually said anything about fixing a marriage, but that's what it sounded like, and inside her, it seemed painful.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asked full of worry. He had just realized after his lazy conversation that something had bothered Sakura.

"Is that how you see us?" Sakura began without looking at him "only as exchange goods, potential political deals or war unions thanks to a good marriage and the lineage that can come out of it?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I can't see the problem there" Kakashi answered in all honesty.

"Sure..." Sakura said dryly in a mocking tone "then maybe I can go for the Kazekage. What do you think? I'm sure that is highly beneficial".

Kakashi was confused, but he was not going to recoil.

"Well, Sakura, good luck with that, cause I don't think Gaara is into girls..." He started doubting "Actually, I think he is into nothing at all, but that's your choice." Why was he getting angry? "Now, if instead, you would like to set your eyes on the brother, Kankuro, that could be something entirely different."

"You can start making the arrangements then, and as Hokage, you can walk me down the aisle." Sakura suppressed a tear.

"That would be your father´s job. I may be old, but that´s not my place" Kakashi retorted angrily, but without racing his voice.

"My parents lost faith in me long ago, I don´t think they are interested in my wedding, they think I´m already too old for that" She was sad, resigned. They have stopped talking to her when she refused to marry Sasuke, another suitable arrangement.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not one of those characters of that stupid book of yours, Lizzie."

Sakura looked down, suddenly she was feeling a bit ashamed. She avoided his eyes at all cost, and she was safe by the waitress announcing that the restaurant was closing. Kakashi paid the bill without saying anything, and they both started walking home, strangely taking the same path.

Sakura was the first in breaking the silence.

"You are reading the book, eh?"

"Hmmm" Kakashi hummed as the only answer.

"Already bored?" She was watching at the stars.

"Actually no" Kakashi began "Even if I don't know yet what to think about it, debating my self between if it is a good manner manual or a statement of the women position in the society, I have to recognize it's quite interesting."

"You haven't read enough yet" Sakura was acting childish. How was it possible that he still didn't realize that the book was actually an ode to true love.

"I supposed." He closed the conversation.

They continue walking a few more blocks before arriving at Sakura's door. Finally, they face each other.

"Sakura, listen" Kakashi needed to clear some things before parting to Suna "What I meant earlier" he swallowed hard "I would never jeopardize the happiness of any of you for the good of the village. You are my priority. The marriage between Shikamaru and Temari is indeed a benefit to Konoha, but that does not mean that I'm directing your lives from a desk. All of you already risk enough every day out there. I would not take love out of your hands."

Sakura nodded with her mouth dry, she needed a drink, a strong one. She finally locked eyes with him and smile much more relaxed.

"Are you going to send me a text as soon as you arrived Suna?" Sakura asked in a happy tone.

"Of course" he simply answered, hands in his pocket.

"And are you going to send my regards to the Kazekage and his brother?" Now she was teasing.

"If that's what you wish..." Kakashi left the phrase got lost in the air. The storm menacing again once more the Konoha's sky.

Sakura laughed heartedly.

"Good night Kakashi Sensei, have a good trip." Sakura said, turning her back to him.

She suddenly stood frozen with her keys trembling in her hands.

Warm breath sifted through the mask ran down her neck and the lobe of her ear. Kakashi hadn't gotten to touch a single hair of her, but all of it rose on her body. Her breath stopped for an instant that seemed like hours, his words tickling as he spoke.

"Have a good night you too, Lizzie." And just like that Kakashi disappeared.

Inner Sakura was going to be happy.

Notes:

So many things to say

1- It´s getting really really late here but I wanted to post it anyway

2- A little bit of tension is not that bad

3- Next chapter we may know, or not, what Naruto has done at Suna. Also, I´m pretty sure that the virtual chat is coming back.

4-Kakashi is making his homework after all.

5- I like the idea that Gaara may be a bit of asexual, though the story shows us different.

6- You Know what to do.

7- If there is anything else you would like to know, please write to me

8- Can somebody be so lovely and helpful and explain me how to link the chapters for making it easy to read? I'm almost as stupid as Kakashi with tech

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alexhogh7137 · 4 years

Text

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Fate & The Hunt

Chapter Twenty-Six

Word Count 3.6k

Warnings: angst, little fluff

Morning comes and you and Hvitserk wake up to Ivar sitting on his side of the bed. The sun is barely peeking through the windows so out of defense, Hvitserk grabs his dagger, thinking that it was an intruder. Once he realizes that it is his brother, he sighs and puts it down.

Hvitserk "Ivar what is it?"

Ivar chuckles, "You have to get out of bed. I want you to be with me when they plead for mercy." Hvitserk looks over and places his arm around your torso.

Hvitserk "It is barely morning, Ivar. We are still tired. Can't this wait?"

Ivar "I am sorry but it cannot wait. You see, you and Ubbe have set a time to go hunting, yes?"

Hvitserk "Yes, but what does hunting have to do with-"

Ivar "I don't want them spreading false hate towards Y/n...you heard them last night, did you not?"

"Ivar, my love...let them share their feelings. Do not kill them right away. If they have a reason, let them tell it. If not, then their opinions will not matter and our good people will see that I am no threat."

Ivar "Sweetheart, I do not think that you quite understand. If they do not accept you as their queen, they will spread false rumors about you. Turning others against you."

"I do understand, Ivar. But they deserve to tell their reasoning for feeling so harshly about their queen. And if I agree with you, they will be our sacrifice before battle."

Hvitserk "Y/n is right, let them talk. After, we will decide their fate." Ivar chuckles and lets his head fall to the ground.

Ivar "I see.." you and Hvitserk are puzzled, is he mad or accepting your decision? "I should've just killed them while you two slept." Then he crawled off and left the room. You do not understand why Ivar said that. Why would he do that any how? You are his queen and you have a say in your peoples fate just as much as he does. You look up at Hvitserk who is sitting up in bed now, confused.

Hvitserk scuffs, "I guess he's in a mood."

"Did I do something wrong? Did I say something-"

Hvitserk "No no. It's not you, princess. When it comes down to situations like this, Ivar wants it done his way or no way at all. So we disagreed with him, so he got upset."

You sigh, "I suppose we should get out of bed.."

Hvitserk "Yes. But after this is over, we will go hunting and then the rest of the day is free." He says after kissing your head.

"Okay. I am looking forward to the hunt!"

Hvitserk laughs, "As am I, beautiful. I can't wait to see you with a bow and arrow." You smirk and get out of bed to get dressed. This morning is going to be stressful to say the least, but hopefully the remainder of the day will be better and easier for you and the baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You go with a black suited dress with your dragon pin as sort of a statement since the woman said that your dragons were intimidating. Hvitserk steps back and takes a look at the mother of his daughter with a smile on his face. Your belly is finally starting to show just a little and it brings you and him so much excitement. You look at his reflection in the mirror and blush. You fix the few strands that fell into your eyes and make sure that your braids are secure before turning around.

Hvitserk "How are you the mother of my child?" You blush and smile, letting your head fall. But he walks toward you, lifting your head up by your chin. "I am being serious. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met."

"You have fallen in love before, Hvitserk. You've seen beauty before." You said with a smile.

Hvitserk "That is true. I loved Thora, she meant a great deal to me. I was bound to marry her but she was killed while I was away.."

"I am so sorry, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "Thank you, princess. I have come to realize that things happen for a reason...people get taken away from us either too soon or not soon enough in your case." You knew that he was talking about your father, which made your skin crawl because you just despise him with your entire being. "And I will be honest, when I lost Thora, I gave up on love. I considered the fact that I might never be a father one day. But when I was at my lowest, the gods put you into my life. And now look at us. We are going to be parents in months time and will be able to raise a beautiful daughter together."

"I know. I can't tell you how much I love you and our daughter. And she is so lucky to have you, Hvitserk. You are going to be an extraordinary father." He smiles and leans down and kisses your lips.

Hvitserk "I love you too, princess. I thank the gods everyday that they blessed us with this new life. And I wake up with a smile on my face now."

"So do I, love-" Ubbe comes in the door, knocking as he opens it.

Ubbe "Sorry, but Ivar will not shut up...he wants you both out there."

Hvitserk "We are coming right now." He quickly kisses your cheek and then you both walk out into the gallery.

…

When you see Ivar, you can tell that he is tense so you take it upon yourself to run up to him and wrap your arms tightly around his waist. He pauses for a moment, thinking that you would be upset at him, but then relaxes and wraps his arms around yours.

Ivar "Hey princess.." you unravel yourself from him, to look into his eyes. You know that some people are watching but you do not have a care in the world. So you crash your lips to his and he smiles.

"Hey." Hvitserk smiles and so does Ubbe. Torvi would clap but she does not want to make the statement too obvious. You wanted the people to see how much you love Ivar and how much he loves you.

Ivar "I shouldn't have said that.."

"Don't bother apologizing, I'm not upset and neither is Hvitserk. You have a right to be upset at them Ivar. They were rude in our home, it's not right.."

Ivar "Okay, my love."

The guardsmen come in with the husband and his wife in their arms. They do not dare to protest because they know that that would only make the situation worse. Ivar walks up and looks at the man in his eyes and fixes his collar.

Ivar "So I will allow you and your lovely wife to speak your truth, hmm?"

"My king, I apologize on her behalf-"

Ivar "If you continue to apologize for her, then she will not be able to speak her reasoning for fearing her kind and gentle queen...are we clear?"

"Y-yes my king.." he stuttered.

Ivar suggests to the guards to bring them up towards where you, Hvitserk, Ubbe and Torvi are standing. Hvitserk nudges you and you look up at him.

"Hmm?" You whispered.

Hvitserk "Stand your ground. You are their queen. Do not allow them to talk down to you, be strong princess." He whispered. You slowly nod and lift your head up to keep a strong composure for your people. Ivar joins you and gives your hand a slight squeeze before letting you go. You walk forward a few steps so that you can be closer to the woman that called you 'frightening' and looked her in the eyes.

"I just want to know why you spoke the way that you did last night. Tell me your reasoning for saying such a word."

She cleared her throat, "It is just your manners, my queen."

"My manners?"

"Y-yes. You act like you rule the world-"

Ivar "SHE IS YOUR QUEEN!" You look behind you and give Ivar the look of I got this.

"In what ways do I act like I rule the world?"

"You always have your nose up, you walk like everyone else is below you-"

Hvitserk "They are.." Ubbe snickers. Her husband looks down at her with absolute shock and disbelief of her words that are coming out of her mouth.

"That is only my opinion, my queen…"

"Thank you for being honest with me. But I do not act the way that you are accusing me of. I walk this way because I," you walk up close to her and get into her face, "was taken from my own chambers as your king slept. Tortured in a dungeon and raped every hour until I was rescued! It is a miracle that I am still carrying my child!"

"I-"

"I am not finished!.. So yes, for a while I walked slow and in a way that you judge as being cocky or being arrogant, but truthfully I was trying not to burst into tears every time I walked! I did not want my good people to see their queen weak and in pain..so I tried to hold myself together and come off that I was fine when really I was not! So do not stand in front of me and tell me that I act like I am more superior than you all. Because I am just like you all, so is your king and his brothers...the only difference is that we were chosen to be royalty." Ivar watches you stand up for yourself with a proud smirk on his face. Thinking to himself, that is my wife.

"My queen..please forgive my wife. She is just very jealous. She does not know of what she says under jealousy." Her husband said.

"Thank you sir. I accept your apology. You have no reason to apologize, however, you have been nothing but kind and a gentleman." He smiles and nods. Ivar walks up and joins you. He looks down at you and offers you a sincere smile and the look of, I am so proud of you.

Ubbe "So what is the woman's fate?" He asked.

"Please...please do not harm her? Please my queen!" He pleaded.

Ivar "Consequences come with judging and belittling your queen!"

"Please…"

"The funny thing is...I do not hear you pleading for mercy woman." You look directly at her and she sticks her nose up in the air.

"That is because I am not afraid of you. Do with me as you wish. I said my peace-" Ivar comes up and gets in her face.

Ivar "I'll have you know..that I would have killed you both," he hissed, "but I went to my wife and asked her for her thoughts and would you like to hear what she said, hmm?" She did not answer. "She said, they deserve to tell their reasoning for feeling so harshly about me." The husband looked at you with so much empathy.

Ivar "Now is that a queen that is frightening? Or a queen that acts like she is superior over her people, huh?" She does not answer. "ANSWER YOUR KING!"

"NO! IT DOES NOT!"

Hvitserk "Apologize." She looks at him and then at you.

"I am sorry." You look at Hvitserk and he just looks at you. Ubbe is straight up furious and that is obvious. Torvi is observing and trying to stay calm for everyone's sake.

"Thank you for your apology. Is it sincere?"

"Of course, my queen."

"Take her out of here, you sir..stay for a second will you?" The guards take the woman out of the room and they let the man go. You walk up to him and give him a warm embrace. He does not hesitate to hug you back.

"Thank you for being loyal to me."

"I am only loyal to the ones that I know have a good and worthy heart. And you, my queen, have a heart of hearts. Thank you for sparing my wife's life. And thank you, my king.."

Ivar "For what?"

"For marrying such a woman...for giving us such a queen." You look up at Ivar and he kisses your forehead before answering the man.

Ivar "She is a blessing..a true gift from the gods. So thank them, as I do everyday, yes?"

"Yes of course."

Ivar "Go..be with your wife," the man starts to walk away, "oh and be sure to tell her all about the real Y/n..not this imaginary Y/n that she has in her mind."

"I will, my king." He walks out of the room and out into the outdoors. You immediately relax and let your emotions out with a sigh. Ivar looks at you and cups your cheeks.

Ivar "You okay?"

"Oh I'm fine."

Ivar "I am beyond proud of you, my sweet."

Ubbe "I must say, you gave me chills a couple of times there!" He said, making you laugh.

Torvi "You held your ground..making you a great and worthy queen. You should be proud."

"I am, thank you.."

Ivar "Let us eat before you leave to hunt, yes?" You all agree. Thoughts run through your mind: did I say the right words, should I have punished her, should I have said more? But at the end of the day, you are a great and merciful queen. And that is how you want to be remembered when your time comes to supper with Odin in Valhalla.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were done eating, Torvi had to tend to her children and feed little Ragnar so that is your cue that it is time to go hunting.

Ivar "Come back to me, yes?"

"Why wouldn't I, my love?"

Ivar "I do not know, I just need you..you know that."

"And I need you. Thank you for not leaving my side.."

Ivar "Never. Remember our promise?"

"Forever."

Ivar "Forever. Now go, have fun...take Ryuu."

"I'll see you soon." He kisses you and watches you, Ubbe and Hvitserk leave the house with a smile on his face. Hvitserk leads the way to the weaponry that holds the axes, shields, swords, daggers, and archery equipment. You take a bow and a bag of a couple arrows. Hvitserk takes an ax as well as the sword that he has on him at all times. Ubbe takes a shield and an ax.

"A shield?"

Ubbe "Can never be too safe, am I right princess?"

"That is true. Where are we hunting?"

Ubbe "Just in the treeline. Deer, squirrels and rabbits will be plentiful." Hvitserk watches you get geared up and stands back to take it all in. You catch him gawking of course, so you make this remark.

"Close that viking mouth of yours, Hvitserk.." he bursts out laughing, along with Ubbe.

Ubbe "I love her."

Hvitserk "Who doesn't love her?!"

"That woman doesn't."

Hvitserk "Remember what her husband said? She is jealous."

"Yeah yeah..let's go get my boy." You walk up to your dragons. Neith is asleep, Eldr is eating and Ryuu is alert like always.

"You ready, boy?" He stances up and screeches out in excitement. Hvitserk chuckles and Ubbe waits by the trees with his horse.

"Above." You command him and he leaps off of the ground with brute force. You look up and admire him for a moment before Hvitserk takes your hand and leads you into the woods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ivar goes into his chambers, laying down on the bed, exhausted. He did not sleep well last night you see, he was so upset about that woman that he was just planning her execution in his mind all through the night. Even though he could not execute his plan, he is still a proud husband. He rolls over and stares at your side dresser. It is slightly ajar, peaking his interest. Ivar rolls over to open the drawer all of the way, revealing your mother's journal. He looks at the door for a moment, weary of anyone about to come in. Ivar being Ivar, he cannot help himself but to open it. Revealing what is not meant for his eyes to see. He reads on with his eyebrows scrunched and his mouth slightly open. He does not read too far before there is a knock on the door.

Ivar "Yes?"

Torvi "Hi..I was just wondering how you are feeling..you just left..wait is that Y/n's journal?"

Ivar "It is. What of it?"

Torvi "That is her private journal, why are you reading it?!"

Ivar "She is my wife! What is hers is mine. I was just curious as to what was written inside."

Torvi "Please do not continue to read..that is special from her mother. She would not want you to-"

Ivar "What do you want Torvi?"

Torvi "..Nevermind." He watched her leave the room and had a heavy heart. Is she right to not read your journal? She can't find out that he read it..

…

Ryuu flies close above, hovering the treeline. Ubbe is leading the hunt while you and Hvitserk stay close behind. You have an arrow aligned, waiting for an animal to make itself known to one of you. Hvitserk has his ax tight in his hand, waiting to aim and throw, same with Ubbe. You lose your footing, not paying attention to where you are stepping, and trip. Hvitserk offers you a hand to which you take. He brushes the snow off of you.

Hvitserk "Clumsy princess."

"Shut up." You giggle.

Hvitserk "Watch wear you step, don't want you to fall on your belly."

"You won't let that happen..you'd catch me."

Hvitserk "Of course I would." Ubbe stops the conversation short by putting his hand up in a halt position. Hvitserk immediately goes on alert and lowers his body so that he can get a good view of what Ubbe has his eye on. When you spot the animal, you see that it is a male deer. It is going to take all three of you to take it down because of his mass. You start by firing your arrow, bullseye, then Ubbe, then Hvitserk.

Ubbe "Bullseye?!"

"I told you, I was the best archer in Wessex. I never miss."

Hvitserk "That's my girl!" He said as he ran over to help Ubbe with the deer. You stood and stayed on alert of your surroundings incase of any more animals or intruders. You look down at your belly and rub small circles over the growing bump and smile.

"You will do this one day, my love. With Uncle Ubbe and your daddy." Hvitserk overhears and tears immediately fill his eyes. To hear those words, warmed his heart so much that it made him very emotional. Ubbe takes notice and pats his brother on the head.

Ubbe "I'm happy for you, Hvitserk. Once again, you will be an amazing father."

Hvitserk "Thank you, brother."

Ubbe "Come on, let's get this home..it is starting to snow." On the way back, you killed three squirrels and one rabbit to add to the hunt. Hvitserk could never get over how you got a bullseye every shot. You are truly powerful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you get home, Ivar is not in the gallery, nor is he in the throne room. You look for Torvi and you find her feeding her daughter in the dining hall.

"Where is Ivar?"

Torvi "Y/n! How was the hunt?"

"Very successful. Where has he gone?" She sighs before she answers.

Torvi "In his chambers."

"Thank you." She was about to speak again but you walked away before she could get the words out. Hvitserk comes in right as you walked away, then looks at Torvi.

Hvitserk "I know that face.."

Torvi "I caught him reading her journal, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "Her mother's?"

Ubbe "He what now?!"

Torvi "Yes, it is true. She won't be happy."

Hvitserk "Nor am I." Ubbe stops him from joining you in the chambers by grabbing his shoulder.

Ubbe "She's his wife, let her put him in his place." Hvitserk scowls and gives in.

…

When you open the doors, you see Ivar holding your mother's journal. He looks up at you with a face of absolutely shock. He knows what he did was wrong.

"...Y-why!?"

Ivar "I just wanted to know what it intaled."

"I WAS COMING IN HERE TO TELL YOU, IVAR!"

Ivar "I-"

"I was not going to hide it from you! I was going to tell you when I came home, like I told you yesterday that I would!"

Ivar "Y/n-"

"You invaded my privacy, why?!"

Ivar "I just wanted to know."

"But still you could not wait until I came home?"

Ivar "I am sorry. I did not get far.."

"Does it matter anymore? How far you've gotten?"

Ivar "I suppose not."

"What have you read?"

Ivar "About the weapons...and how we need to get them before the battle."

"Anything else?"

Ivar "No.." he loses eye contact.

"Ivar!"

Ivar "I read about what your father did to you!" You took a step away from him, "why didn't you tell me?"

"I was not ready to tell anyone...not yet. But now that you know-"

Ivar "Sweetheart I am so sorry.."

"If I catch you reading it again, I won't forgive you for a very long time. That is my mother's...no one reads it but me."

Ivar "Yes..I am sorry." He offers you a hug and a kiss, to which you allow. You are upset and feel violated. You honestly just want to take a shower and go to sleep now. To which you do. When Hvitserk comes into his chambers, he finds you asleep on his side of the bed with dried tears on your face. His heart breaks, knowing that you were sad. He climbs into bed, pulling your back into his chest. He sighs and holds you close.

@hvitserkmarcosource @ivarsgoddess @youbloodymadgenius @a-mess-of-fandoms @jzr201 @herestherealproblem @conaionaru @heavenly1927 @saldelys @readsalot73 @ivarzeitgeist

#the battle between love and fire #ivar the god #ivar the boneless #hvitserk lothbrok #hvitserk #ubbe lothbrok #torvi vikings #vikings #alexhoghandersen #alex hogh andersen #marcoilsø #marco ilsø #marco ilsoe #jordan patrick smith

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kisilinramblings · 4 years

Note

I'm going to bring out a controversial ask. What are your thoughts on Chat's behaviour in Copycat? I have seen so many salters absolutely wreck the boy for that episode, especially for his last line about being heartbroken. Was what he did wrong? Completely. But I'm pretty sure he knows that. He never acted upon it again and defiently improved since then.

(Not gonna lie, Copycat was one of my favorite episodes during S1, haha)

Honestly, Ladybug herself wrecked him twice in front of him in that episode.

First, with this statement

LB : Chat Noir may annoy me to pieces, but he's never lied to me. CN : Thanks for the compliment... I think.

LB’s line is slightly different in the French dub. She points out “Chat Noir has a ton of flaws”. Still, goal is the same, even if she praises him for not being a liar, the first part hurt his ego there because it is what LB thinks of him. That he is not great. Decent, but not great.

Then we got this line a bit later.

CN : I’m so glad you could tell the real cat from the fake one. LB : Once I’ve figured out which Chat was really in love with me, it was a no brainer.

Here, CN understands that LB thinks he is joking about his feelings.

Throughout S1, LB is unaware of CN’s romantic feelings for her are genuine. Ever since Stoneheart part 2, she considers CN to be a jokester, so she interprets his flirting attempts , his charming attitude and the little nicknames he gives her as casual bantering. In other words, she doesn’t take him seriously.

So yeah, coming from his crush, this is bound to heartbreak him and he is just mentionning the obvious to himself and the audience. But I don’t think this was made to pity him but rather to show the consequences of his actions. That LB won’t love him for being jealous. And the episode never depicted Chat Noir as a winner after his display of jealousy.

I mean, when we watch the episode, we follow CN’s POV, yes, but his actions during that episode are never glorified or rewarded. Instead, Chat Noir is the butt of the joke. The Akumatized personifies him, makes him look like a bad individual and ridicules him. The police doesn’t believe CN and lock him down. Plagg’s comment about Adrien’s jealousy was on point. Chat Noir got trapped and outwitted and was unable to defeat the Akuma by himself like he intended. And finally, LB made some remarks about CN that annoyed/hurt him but were true.

Honestly, everything was against Chat Noir there because of his actions (I loved the episode for that).

Should CN have verbally apologized to Théo about lying to him and for being jealous? Of course! Would he had done so if LB wasn’t there? Who knows. However, LB was present and it was an important variable in the equation.

Should CN have told LB the truth instead of concealing it? Yes, but that he not what CN wanted. He sure didn’t let her know what happened when he called her when infiltrating Théo’s workshop.

LB : Chat Noir, where are you? CN : I’ve found his den. LB : Who? CN : My copycat. LB : I’m not getting you. CN : If you have been there this morning, you would know what I’m talking about. LB : Well, tell me where you are? CN : No. This is between me and him. I got myself into this mess, so now I’m going to get myself out.

Anyway later, during the battle against Copycat, LB stated she doesn’t like liars. And what did CN do earlier? Lie to Théo. And to complicate the matter, LB is oblivious about CN’s romantic feelings for her. Chat Noir already lost there and prefered to leave ASAP that telling her he got jealous. That doesn’t justify his actions but I can understand why he prefered to avoid the subject. Since he was about to detransform, he used it as an excuse and leaves, the tail between his legs, saving what he can. This is the consequences of his jealousy and he learned his lesson. If he wants LB to love him one day, he needs to not act jealously from now on. Otherwise, he is no better than his copycat.

Again, taking his leave without explaining what actually happened is not the most mature reaction (not to mention LB didn’t demand him to explain himself), but it is not the worst either. Imagine if he had left the scene as a sore loser fueled with angst against LB and/or Théo?

Here, he is just sad and mentions that both Théo and him have in common there. Only, he doesn’t get to be cheer up by LB.

Now, another rant some had with the episode is that CN made LB believed Copycat was her fault.

One thing to note though is that LB did miss the statue inauguration. She was supposed to be there. It was an engagement she took because everyone expected her to show up -- along with CN -- and waited for her. And it was important for Théo that LB was present at the unveiling because he wanted her to sign the picture he used as inspiration for his sculpture. He even plead the Mayor to wait a few more minutes, hoping LB would finally come. However, unbestknown to him, it was more important for LB to erase the embarrassing voicemail she had accidently left to her crush that taking part of an official ceremony she said she would be present to. And her absence did wound Théo as Hakwmoth pointed out :

“Disappointed by Ladybug and jealous of Chat Noir, the perfect formula for disaster”.

But like their whole phone discussion informed us, Chat Noir isn’t blaming her for his actions. If she had been there, she would have witnessed what happened, yes, but he also admits this mess was his fault. Thus why he was so adamant to solve things by himself and didn’t want LB to get involved. And LB sure didn’t wanted to talk about what emergency hold her and never demanded an explaination from Chat. So both avoid talking about what happened that morning and sweep it under the rug for different reasons.

The “his crush just got crushed” line is not Chat Noir made-up excuse either. It is still true as LB did break Théo’s heart for not being there at the unveiling ceremony of the statue he has worked so hard on. Thus why she apologized, signed the picture and complimented his work. She is not taking the blame for the Akumatization here. She is only apologizing because she has missed the ceremony she was supposed to attend. Nothing more.

If anything, Chat Noir displayed some empathy to Théo and gave him an occasion to have a few private minutes with LB. Which is definitively better than CN’s jealous reaction of keeping Théo away from LB from the beginning.

It is not a verbal apology from Chat, but this occasion obviously meant a lot to Théo even if the gesture is small. And Chat Noir is not rewarded or thanked for it because this should have been done from the beginning instead of letting his jealousy kick in.

Now, people can dislike the episode or disagree with that ending, saying it wasn’t satisfying enough for them. It’s their opinion. The morale of that part of the episode clearly shows that letting your jealousy get the better of you doesn’t make you a winner. Did they wanted more angst? Did they wanted Chat Noir to suffer even more for being immature and making a mistake by letting his emotion get the best of him? Should the show have expanded and explored on that venue on his character? Maybe for that last point. After all, they sure did so with Marinette afterwards like in Volpina, Animaestro or Ikari Gozen for example. And I know they are fans who are tired of romantic jealousy / envy interfering during a part of an episode. Because we -- older audiences -- already know that acting while motivated by such feelings is not romantic. That jealousy ain’t cute and can hurt other.

However, I don’t know what to say if there are people still mad over how a character acted during one episode that aired ages ago as we are currently waiting for S4. Not to mention Chat Noir is finally moving on from his crush on LB as shown during the S3 finale. The character is not at the same place anymore in his development. Like you can keep a character actions and reactions in mind as they might ressurface under different contexts in order to compare and note if there was a change. But aside of that? What use is there to be still mad? That, I will never understand I’m afraid =/

#miraculous ladybug #copycat #escape-reality-and-be-free

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writingwithcolor · 5 years

Note

I'm a POC who writes mainly white characters but after seeing all the "diversity" posts on this site I'm wondering if I may be subconsciously prejudiced and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been doing everything wrong and yet I don't want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

To Write (or not write) with Diversity

No one can force you to write inclusive stories. Inclusive meaning media that consists of marginalized people, because that is what diversity really is - including people who have always been right there, but have been purposefully left out and erased from the pages of books and scripts. Those who are, when finally represented, are overwhelmingly assigned small, unflattering, and / or stereotypical roles.

Pages like Writing With Color are an offering. Our presence here is for those who choose to write with diversity. We aim to make being inclusive easier because we all believe in the importance of it. But as much as we know how enriching diversity can be, we cannot convince you to do something you don’t necessarily believe in.

Don’t do it because you feel forced

As you mentioned, you’ve read the posts. You know the facts. The decision cannot be forced upon you. If anything, including diversity out of obligation alone could lead to bad representation. Forcing people to do things without motivation usually means it’ll lack effort, or be done with spite. Trust me when I say marginalized people don’t usually want to see themselves represented by someone who does not want them there. That unwelcome feeling shows. In short: Lack of representation hurts. Bad representation hurts worse.

I only ask that you have accountability.

Now that you’re aware that your works default to white, you have a choice to make. I think a lot of us grew up reading and writing very white stories - both as PoC and white people - but once you possess the knowledge that things can be different, your next step is a conscious one. You’re not on auto-pilot anymore when you make everyone white (and/or straight, able-bodied, etc). You know better now. Own up to your choices.

So ask yourself: why have I chosen to write without diversity?

I’m afraid to write People of Color.

Being uncomfortable writing People of Color is a big reason why people stick to writing white people, and only garnish their stories with PoC, if that. White people have long been the default, the everyman. White perspectives are “neutral” to approach. It’s daunting to go from feeling you can portray characters in whatever way you wish to suddenly having the weight of good versus harmful representation on your shoulders.

You don’t want backlash from getting it wrong. You also don’t want to be insensitive to groups. It’s easy to avoid writing them altogether, right? Sure.

Be aware, though:

You’re making a choice to exclude people out of fear.

Of course, new things are scary. But that’s okay! Courage is the ability to do things that frighten you. Face your fears. Will you shrink away from the challenge, or use it to your advantage?

Let the fear fuel you to do better and to know better. Your concerns about writing PoC can drive you to get the research right in order to best represent people. If your fear is leading to more effort into thoughtful creation, you’re putting it to good use.

Let me tell you right now - you will mess up.

Maybe in small ways, perhaps in a big way. But mistakes will not kick start the apocalypse. Ideally:

Do your research to avoid the most obvious and devastating mistakes from the jump.

Equip yourself with the right beta-reader and sensitivity readers to catch those things.

Even with errors, your story can be quite enjoyable for people who hardly see themselves represented. Yes, mistakes and all.

As a Black woman bookworm, if you write an exciting story about a Black girl on adventures and falling in love but mention a few questionable things about how she takes care of her hair…I will wince, but it won’t ruin the book for me. I’m willing to overlook some things, for the sake of my enjoyment, and let the author know how I felt about those parts in hopes they can improve.

Say you get something real important wrong. People call you out for it. I suggest you apologize, listen to their critiques, and do better. If possible, pull back the story and re-release when you’ve improved the piece. If that’s not an option, fix it in future works. Getting a finger wagged at you doesn’t mean lock up in fear and never write with diversity again. It means you improve.

Research PoC like you would on any topic:

For comparison’s sake, consider writing People of Color (or any group different from you) like writing other topics you’re unfamiliar with in-depth.

For example: You may know the basics on Medieval England. The knights, royalty, and so on. But i’m sure there’s a lot of misconceptions mixed in there from television or unreliable sources.

To write people from this perspective, you would do lots of additional research… right?

If someone mentioned how you messed up on some of the facts, you would take note and dig into it more for the future…right?

You might even have more experienced persons check your facts for accuracy beforehand to do the best job possible.

Approach researching PoC in the same way as other topics. There may not be hard facts on how to write an X character, but there are portrayals to avoid with explanations why, and roles people want to see themselves in.

I don’t like to be told what to write.

There’s this misconception that writing with diversity restricts creativity. I get it - there are things you’re being told not to do when writing certain groups. The lists of No’s can get dense. This reflects how poor representation has been for People of Color as there are a number of stereotypical portrayals folks are tired of seeing and has been detrimental to them.

Fiction simply reflects real life: People of Color being viewed through the lens of preconceived notions means being written on with those stereotypes in mind. It is a vicious cycle. Stereotypes are more than an annoyance - they can and do lead to real life consequences.

Being treated like a stereotype lowers our quality of life. Experiencing racism and daily microaggressions has a psychological effect - from insecurity, depression and PTSD - it is serious. (X)

Viewing People of Color by their stereotypes is what makes, say, a Black person who speaks with passion no matter what it’s about (and even if they’ve been wronged) too hostile and “Angry” to take seriously. If anything, they’re now a serious threat. And that’s dangerous for them.

Put yourself in the shoes of the overly typecast.

Think of a time someone misunderstood you. You had a bad day and acted grumpy. Well, being a grump defines who you are now. When asked, people describe you as crabby and humorless. Every new person you meet sees your every action through that lens.

Strangers tiptoe around you, as they can just tell you’re ill-tempered. Peers choose their words carefully, afraid of what might spark your wrath. Your children even inherit the title; teachers discipline them more and take other students’ word over theirs- your kids are snappy, difficult, and known to not play well with others, after all.

Wouldn’t that get old? Wouldn’t you feel it was unfair to be reduced to a label, and that you’re sick of being defined by it? Wouldn’t you have the desire to be seen for who you truly are, and can be? Perhaps you do get grumpy sometimes, which is just being human. You’re so much more than a grouch.

Stereotypes are not creative.

Writing outside of stereotypes open up so many more possibilities. How many times have we seen the Black Best Friend play out in media? You’re not being silenced when readers criticize your sassy sidekick. Your message has been heard, loud and clear - again and again and again. People are upset because it’s not anything new - in fact, it is quite old. We want multiple portrayals. Why not create something new before you decide to write so closely to how we are always written?

OP said: I don’t want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

This should not be the case. Avoiding stereotypes has nothing to do with making unlikeable or even perfect characters. Simply make Characters of Color who go beyond stereotypes! Characters who are best friends without being arc-less doormats. Characters who are fierce and emotional and stand for something without being simplified to irrational, hostile, and angry.

Knowing the difference between stereotype and culture is important, too. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing something wrong when their bias means they perceive your character as being stereotypical, or problematic, when they’re not. (See: Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception.)

If anything, writing beyond hard labels leads to complex characters. Writing about new cultures is interesting and can be exciting.

If you only like your East Asian characters when they’re geniuses or your Black girls when they’re angry without a cause…do some self-reflection. Why do your Characters of Color only seem “right” to you when they are flat, or confined to stereotypes? Why not allow them to be complex humans?

I’m not convinced that representation matters.

Well, representation does matter. A lot. While it has been written on so much, and there being countless studies, statistics, and personal accounts to support this, I would like to mention…

Representation (or lack thereof) lowers self-worth.

Studies show TV boosts the self-esteem of white boys. The confidence of People of Color and girls of all races, on the other hand, decreases when watching TV (X X).

“If you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves.” -Junot Diaz

The Racial Empathy Gap.

I want to be brief (too late, right?) so let me just mention another point of research for you: the racial empathy gap. Stereotyped depictions and the limited roles for People of Color are internalized by society, leading to lack of empathy towards People of Color and the enforcement of stereotypes in real time. Lack of empathy actively affects how PoC are treated, such as the belief that Black people experience less pain than others and therefore are misdiagnosed (their illnesses and pain are downplayed) and under treated (X X X).

Fiction Increases Empathy.

In addition to the racial empathy gap, look into the studies on how fiction improves empathy. For example: reading about vampires increases empathy towards vampires. Imagine what non-stereotyped, marginalized depictions in fiction can do for empathy. (X, X)

The strength in which people are against representation speaks volumes.

If representation does not matter, then why are some people so angry when it’s there? Let’s take book to movie depictions:

A Character of Color depicted as white simply means they were the best actor for the job, according to a vocal presence in social media.

However, even a verified Character of Color being depicted as such leads to boycotting, accusations of being “Politically-correct”, and wide complaints that they can’t relate to the characters and they are poor actors. Never mind that so many Actors of Color attend prestigious schools only to get so far.

The hypocrisy speaks to a need for more representation, and a prevalent lack of empathy.

The People Want Diversity!

On a positive note: shows that reflect the real world, aka include diversity, continue to get high ratings despite many obstacles: those who don’t want them there, lack of advertising or inconvenient airtime for shows with diverse leads, the ole bait-and-switch method, and hasty cancellations. Not to mention media simply refusing to be inclusive even when they know “diversity sells” (X X). Gee, I wonder why….

Audiences are more drawn to projects that feature a diverse cast, a new study finds, though mirroring the population in the United States remains a problem.

“Less-diverse product underperforms in the marketplace, and yet it still dominates,” said Ana-Christina Ramón, the report’s co-author and assistant director of the Bunche Center. “This makes no financial sense.”

-Diversity in Hollywood Pays Off in Ratings and Box Office, New Study Finds

Diversity simply reflects the real world accurately.

There is nothing forced about diversity. People of Color exist in the real world, go out and about, and have lives. Creators including marginalized people only seems strange because media actively scratches them out as much as possible, pulling the marginalized out of focus to zoom in on white characters. That is what’s unrealistic.

Ultimately, you, the writer, will write what you want. Just ask yourself why you have decided this is what you want to write. Are you okay with that reason? Despite all the progress that is being made, you’ll blend in just fine with all of the other mostly white books and movies out there. And as people become more conscious and bored with the same stories, we can and will choose to ignore whitewashed media.

The good thing is that there’s so much awareness and activism going on with representation; the path has been paved for you and it is not lonely!

There are resources out there, and WWC continues to be one of them.