#you're doing so great!

[kaesaaurelia]

My mom's spent a bunch of time arguing with me about how I should be a lawyer and I keep telling her I fucking hate arguing and conflict and the fact that I'm arguing at all is being used against me. :\

Also she keeps insisting I could do it because I'm sooo smart. There's thousands of lawyers out there who are dumber than me, that isn't the issue, the issue is do I have the temperament and how much more can my mental health take.

#kaesa op #venty post #i know there's kinds of law where you don't have to do confrontation but a lot of it is incredibly boring #I'd be banking on being fascinated by one of those limited areas of law #and I'd be spending a LOT of time and money and energy on it #and i barely have the energy to keep applying for jobs and occasionally feeding myself #like it is genuinely a fucking struggle #the past few years have been some of the roughest on my mental health and it feels like people are like “why don't you just try harder! #you're doing so great! #you had six interviews in twelve months and the economy is amazing!“ #and they get mad at me for feeling hopeless #meanwhile im asked to explain my resume gap #by people who want to pay me $20k less a year than what the Think Positive people claim i should be making #and they're like hmm it looks like you were unwilling to kill your grandmother to keep doing your shitty minimum wage job #people just don't want to work #id love to work but if you don't believe me id also love to take a vegetable peeler to your dick actually

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[lazylittledragon]

hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

#ramble #literally very hot. like very hot #there is so much sweat #'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it #trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do #and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT #i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me' #*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones* #it's all fearmongering and it's SICK #personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL

[dead-core]

part of knowing me is watching me self-destruct. you cannot save me, you cannot fix me, and you cannot stop me.

#actually mentally ill #actually borderline #actually bpd #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd vent #bpd mood #this is so dramatic and like edgelord but fr! #not good at taking care of myself and self-aware about it! plus stubborn and spiteful and defiant so your concern just fuels me #sometimes i can be very 'oh you're worried? shut the fuck up and don't tell me what to do' #so that's not great

[mroddmod]

the party visits Hawkins for the holidays, circa December 1991.

i was lucky enough to get to participate in a secret santa gift exchange along with my friends, some of the most talented people in the stranger things fandom! my recipient was @halosketches, one of the coolest people i know. it was a pleasure to be able to work on this and i'm happy to able to share it now! happy holidays, boys 🫶

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #lumax #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #the party #st #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanart #sorry for disappearing for over a month!! #been having a bit of a weird time. weird relationship with my art. #i've also been spending a great deal of my time working on commissions and other obligations #so i've been a bit wrapped up! #but i hope to be able to post more soon once i finish everything i need to and hopefully repair my relationship with my work #happy holidays!! #i hope you're all doing well :) #mods talks shit #mods draws #mods art

[cl4ssyjazzy]

Ren is SUCH a wet dog this season, every single episode he appears in he comes off as this PATHETIC SOPPING WET DOG MAN that is trying really hard to look cool!!

"I'm working hard mining with you guys! I'm organizing!" - Doesn't contribute anything, gets mocked by his co-workers

"No guys!! My game is really difficult!!! If you die you don't get anything!! There's no exceptions!!!" - Dies while doing a basic task

"I'm going to make a big tower!! So menacing!!" - Makes a tiny tiny tower, gets mocked by his neighbors

"Guys please help I'm stuck on my tower" - Fucking dies again

He keeps trying, no one buys it, cleo mocks him, beef mocks him, iskall mocks him, even MUMBO JUMBO is making fun of him at this point.

#Whatever you say sweetie!! 💕😍 You're doing so great!!🥰✨ #i love him anyway #He is a theater kid and he WILL tell you about his big important play even if he is playing the tree on act 2 scene 5 #hermitcraft #rendog #hermitcraft season 10

[myrkulitescourge]

oh to live in a world where astarion had made it all the way through development as a tiefling

(gorg tieflingstarion head by @astarionposting!)

#the way his hair curls around these horns just a little bit is unreasonably endearing tbh #astarion ancunin #astarion #btw i hope it’s ok that i tagged you astarionposting if you see this! your presets are great and i want to link back to you #without tumblr putting a hit out on me for a regular hyperlink #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #etc etc so on and so forth #my screenies #i do still think it's much funnier that he's so obviously vampiric as an elf and you're just not allowed to confront him about it though #like it's a decorum thing. you don't just ask strangers what's up with the fangs and the bite marks and the fixation on raw meat.

[imminent-danger-came]

2x02 // 3x01 // 3x03 // 3x13 // 4x12

Team huddle!

#so funny that there are no team huddles in s1 because they didn't plan back then #And then for most of s4 MK is in denial that there should be a plan beyond ''get my friends!'' #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk parallels #plan man #one day I'll make my post of every time they mention the word ''plan'' #that'll be a long one #''How could you lead us into this fight without a real plan?'' ''We've basically winged it without a real plan!'' #yeah #4x12 did so much for me personally #Me pre s4: oh yeah it looks like MK took on the role of planning especially after Wukong failed to do so #And even further back MK focused on developing this skill after 1x10 when he was worried about winging it with his friends on the line #''What's the plan monkie man?'' ''I don't know. Wing it?'' ''Yeah! Sounds great!'' ''No! I didn't mean you guys too!'' #s4 special: Hold my beer #Me: REALLY????? YOU'RE BRINGING THIS TO THE FOREFRONT FOR MK??? #no one else may care but lmk writers just know. I do #I care

[seungcheorry]

thinking about seungcheol. i don't know, just...

just seungcheol biting his lips and playing with his fingers, so lost in thoughts because he's scared as shit to go back to work. hundreds of what if's playing in his mind.

just seungcheol getting so clingy to you, silently asking to be comforted, to be reassured.

just seungcheol sighing, after a whole day of anxiety kicking his ass, when he finally feels your hand patting his head, caressing his head. you ask him if he had dinner already and half of his worries are forgotten.

just choi seungcheol, leader of 12, who will always fight and work so hard for what's best for his members, also needing some take care of.

#choi seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol x you #choi seungcheol headcanons #choi seungcheol imagines #scoups headcanons #scoups x reader #scoups x you #scoups imagines #seungcheol headcanons #seungcheol x you #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol x reader #seventeen headcanons #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen x you #svt headcanons #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt x you #seventeen #svt #choi seungcheol #scoups #i'm glad you're coming back cheol #you're gonna do great #we love you so much

[uncanny-tranny]

Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...

...and also being able to read things like THIS:

#art #crochet #fiber art #described images #image description in alt #used a crochet pattern for this because it's just INSANE #see i can recognize some of these stitch markings but i haven't done them all yet #i actually kind of prefer the diagram pattern because it actually shows you the shape and the way stitches compliment the piece #with a 'normal' pattern (e.g. 1 dc in fifth ch from hook ch 2 4 dc) i understand it sure but. it isn't the same. #i was reading somebodys recommendations for tapestry yarn and understood all the abbreviations and what they mean #plus i feel like diagrams can be a great way to teach you not only how stitches look but how they contribute to the larger piece #one of my crochet proficiency goals is to be able to look at a piece and know instantly what made it #*cue me at the store analyzing a crochet piece so i can replicate it for 5× the cost* #if you're selling a crocheted piece for like $20 then it's my imperative to replicate it and not buy it 🫡 #i think that has the same moral implication as like... 'proplifting' #did crochet as the example because thats what i do as a fiber art. if theres a similar thing for knit/weave/ect then DROP IT BELOW I BEG YO #i want to learn all the lovecraftian languages of the fiber artists <3 #i feel like describing the image in exactly what stitch marking indicates what would have been too much so hopefully the explanation as to.. #...what the diagram DOES and how it visually indicates a pattern was helpful <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Detectives at the Disco (Elysium)

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #“Hail holy queen of the sea -- You're whirling in rags -- You're vast and you're sad.” #I have been taken back by the disco fever and I wanted to draw these guys now that I can...y'know...draw. #I owe a lot to DE honestly. #If it were not for yagrandmapeach's daily disco elysium comics this blog would have never existed. #The idea that I could do lighthearted daily doodles made art feel possible and approachable. That fun was most important! #I was so inspired by their fun style and goofs! I loved the pen on paper look and their stylizations! #I'm still really inspired by them to this day! Peach if you're out there (unlikely)...Thank you for all the art you have shared. #To those who are considering giving DE a try: please be aware of it's many content warnings. #It is dark but also so extremely full of hope and love!!! #it's a murder mystery where you think you're supposed to be finding the culprit but you end up finding....yourself. #Also it has Kim Kitsuragi. The best companion you will ever have in a video game. #And it lets you dress up a stinky old man in whatever clothes he finds lying around. It's great.

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

#My art #ISaT #ISaT Spoilers #Siffrin #Loop #Technically - you know how it goes #Me when I relate to Siffrin: Oh no haha that's probably not great whoops haha #Me when I relate to Loop: Oh. Oh No. #Lenti has such a deathgrip on my ISaT opinions wtf how is she so powerful I thought my fave was Sif?? But I mean well- #Lol #Does this count as vent idk lol #It was fun to write tho :) Very easy! Done all at once! #As was drawing this! Also done all at once! And black and white is still really fun to work with hehe #I got to use some pretty cool outline/lineart tricks for this one yay :D #The original draft of the fic had a different title but ''Starring Role'' is kinda?? too perfect??? #To the point where I looked around and I was like #Kinda shocked that there doesn't Seem? to be another fic with the same title? #Which is.........oddly relevantly thematic to this fic actually hahaha #Not to get too exacting about it but the whole thing of Loop feeling replaceable well #It would imply that other someones could do what they do better than them #What an odd refutation. Huh. Weird #Anyway - behind the scenes fun fact! #I actually really love the song Starring Role but I didn't think of it until after writing this #And now that I sing it to myself it's actually kinda perfect what the heck #So that's something to think about as well #Anyway if you're going to listen to it pls listen to the Axiom remix it is The version in my heart <3 #The glitches and stutters are perfect..... #And the clock ticking?? Why is this song so ISaT I'm gonna think about this for a while now heck #Animatic in my head shower thought -core lol

[almondcroissantsandink]

I'm following along with Dracula Daily and RE: Dracula this year! I've read the book a handful of times but haven't really ever drawn anything from it except for an Inktober sketch many years ago

#dracula #dracula daily #re: dracula #bram stoker #jonathan harker #mina murray #lucy westenra #dracula fanart #i'm so happy to be doing dracula daily because otherwise I read so fast and miss the ambience of so many scenes #the whole bits where Mina leaves to go get Jonathan and Lucy is getting worse and worse? it's so SAD and so easy to gloss over unless you'r #really parsing out the text #the part where mina finds lucy on their seat and dracula is there? TERRIFYING #i'm having a great time #when i heard that jonathan had been found? i hollered

[murderandcoffee]

This whole "simp martin" martin thing has got me thinking

Like

Jon: sex isnt on the table for me

Martin (who still cant even believe he got THIS far): thats not gonna be a problem for me

jon: yeah, don't expect sex me from, I rarely--if ever--desire it

martin, ecstatic at what all that leaves on the table: THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE???

jon, a little horrified: I have never seen anyone so excited to learn that sex is out of the equation

martin: I THOUGHT YOU HATED ME FOR A SOLID YEAR

jon: ...

martin: THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER

#martin is like WE CAN HOLD HANDS AND WE CAN HUG AND WE CAN CUDDLE AND WE CAN KISS AND I CAN WASH YOUR HAIR AND RUB YOUR BACK AND HOLD YOU-- #AND YOU CAN SIT ON MY LAP AND BORROW MY SWEATERS AND I CAN MAKE YOU COFFEE AND WE CAN GO TO THE PARK AND WE CAN GO OUT TO DINNER AND #and he just keeps going #martin blackwood voice THERE'S SO MUCH OUTSIDE OF SEX I NEVER EVEN EXPECTED YOU TO BE INTERESTED IN ME NOW YOU'RE SAYING WE CAN DO #ALL THESE OTHER THINGS?????? THIS IS GREAT NEWS I CAN'T WAIT #listen. listen. he's head over heels. and extremely enthusiastic. I love him #tma #the magnus archives #jmart #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jon sims #ask murderandcoffee #anonymous

[sleepinglionhearts]

@vinosscum introduced me to the first Mistborn book,

#doodles #mistborn #the final empire #cosmere #mistborn art tag #yeah this won't be all that comes out of my horrid little hands of course #vin mistborn #elend venture #kelsier mistborn #ok so i finished it earlier this evening and I'm already going to go bother local library staff about book 2 #anyway Vin sweetie ur doing great #amazing how one girl can attain So Many Dads in such a short time #I haven't had too much time to look for like. proper illustrations or anything so here have my mental image #of the girl herself while I was reading #and the slightest hint of kel in the you're my dad meme #anyway. yay! books!! #this totally won't destroy me in any way!!!

[catastrxblues]

EVERMORE by taylor swift (feat. bon iver) — “and i was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step. and i couldn’t be sure, i had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn’t be forevermore.”

my #swiftiegiftexchange2024 for @lovesickallovermybed!!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

#HIII HII HII how are you <3333 SO sorry for being slightly to the party but HII #i saw that you are currently recovering from surgery and i‘m wishing you all the best and =a faster recovery 💗💗 i hope you’re okay and #are feeling and getting much better every day 💗💗💗 #i’m your anon swiftie and it was really nice to get to know you!! 🫶🏽 you’re super super talented and your gifs are so so STUNNING #it was such an honor to be your anon for this event and i had such a fun time making this ! #i was SO excited when i saw that some of your favorite ts songs are evermore and idsb. really really sorry i didn’t have the time to make #something for both because my laptop went dead for sometime and i ended up only having the time to make this 😭 #evermore the song is something i hold and cherish deeply in my heart too and it was something that has seen some of the worst of my days #and so i decided to do this song for your gift instead! #i can’t really gif much and couldn’t even try #because my laptop in which i had installed ps in went rip so i decided to make you this #(slightly messy sorryy) scrapbook of my view of the song! i tried to incorporate some of the descriptive lyrics and the objects mentioned i #the song and i hope you like it 😁! #and because i think evermore is also something that IS meant to be incredibly personal to the people that listen to it #i decided to include some photos (+added highlights on every lyric that has ever touched me which is almost everything as you can see 😭) #of some of my journal pages on which i rewrote the entire lyrics (except bon iver’s addition 😅) in ‘21 when the song meant to me the most! #i hope you're having a great dayy love 🫶🏽🫶🏽 #SwiftieGiftExchange2024 #taylor swift #tswiftedit #evermore #*my edits #nadine.mp3