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solar-wing · 2 months

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⚣ Protective Lover 🥰

⚣✋🏻 A/N → Another idea partly inspired off one of my previous Jason posts. Dude is the definition of scary dog privilege. "and my man, thank you to my man." WARNINGS: Jealous/Possessive Behavior. Minor Swearing and Threats of Violence. Cute Fluff.

⚣✋🏻 Summary → It's no secret: Jason is a jealous and possessive boyfriend. But, many don't think about the benefit that comes along with that. He's hella protective. Sometimes it's overbearing, other times, it's very helpful.

⚣✋🏻 Words → 1.4k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

⚣ ENJOY 🥰

At some point, Y/N had gotten used to it. Was it annoying? Yes. Did it feel overbearing at times? Countless. Did he secretly love it and felt the world’s most (concerning) validation from it? Absolutely.

But, when looking at the situation and its circumstances as a whole, it made sense.

When he and Jason first started dating, there was definitely a vibe of him being a gruff but soft teddy bear who was clingy and needy for love and attention when with his chosen lover. But, when around literally anyone else who was not said lover or other people were in the same room as his chosen mate, he’d turn into the world’s scariest guard dog.

It was the general rule of Scary Boyfriend Privilege. Only the designated boyfriend could see their boyfriend’s soft and needy side. Anyone outside that got the ‘murderous if you get too close’ grizzly bear side.

Extremely hot and sexy, but it could be a bit (a lot) much at times.

Y/N tried to get Jason to calm down, always showing that he could take care of himself and there was no reason for him to worry. But, living in a city like Gotham and given the vigilante’s past (hence the aforementioned situation and circumstances), there really was no calming him down.

But let’s look on the bright side here. With said privilege and the kind of boyfriend Jason was, Y/N never felt more safe and secure in his life. It was like walking around a video game world with the most overpowered gear on. He was basically untouchable.

Examples? Why, of course!

When it came to school, Y/N always preferred studying and doing his homework with Jason since he would help him stay focused and assist him with subjects that he struggled with.

Y/N was not the first but certainly the loudest to say that Jason did not get enough credit for how smart he was. Yeah, he typically lived by street smarts, but he was big on book smarts as well. He just had to learn how to communicate the information in ways where it wasn’t confusing for both him and his boyfriend.

Plus, in dating Y/N, he learned the art and benefits of positive reinforcement which anyone could probably imagine taking a magnifying glass to their relationship, it was something the Y/N had to use a lot for Jason. Now, the vigilante was doing the same for his boyfriend by giving him little rewards for finishing his work and getting good grades like take-out dates, letting him play in his hair, and more often than not, a good dic-

PAUSE

Oh for fucks sake, are we doing this again? Why does it have to be PG-13? Well, no one said– Ugh…Fine.

A good fitness workout that involved lots of cardio, sweating, and soreness, but the good kind.

Happy?

But, the week of midterms turned out to be an equally busy week for Jason as well. He was knee-deep in a big crime plot and was getting closer and closer to solving the case. Y/N understood and didn’t want to get in the way of his boyfriend's duties. It still sucked though because it meant he wouldn’t be able to study in his apartment as he’d find way too many ways to get distracted. So, he had no choice but to study on campus, and figured what better place than the library?

Turns out there could have been better places.

Y/N was sitting at a large table by himself with various books in front of him along with his tablet and laptop reviewing his notes for a huge test he had the next morning. He wasn’t the only one who had the idea of going to the library to study as it was packed full of students trying to do last-minute cramming and studying.

Jason, as usual, called him to make sure he was okay and that he had gotten to the library safely even though Y/N was well aware his boyfriend had many different ways of tracking him and making sure he was where he was supposed to be. At first, he found it creepy, but when he got to know Jason’s family, he understood.

When Jason didn’t hang up the phone long after Y/N had already sat down and began reviewing, he decided he wasn’t going to hang up either, feeling more relaxed and calm while hearing his boyfriend’s voice and breathing through his earphones.

Now and then, Jason would call his name and check to make sure he was focusing and not slacking off or scrolling on social media and Y/N would turn and scold him for trying to check him when he should have been focused on fighting criminals.

“That’s the thing, babe. I can focus on more than two tasks at the same time. You, on the other hand, still can’t manage to focus on one task for more than 10 minutes without getting distracted by something else like your favorite song and flooding our apartment.”

“I told you to let the bathtub thing go!” Y/N whispered loudly into his earbud mic with a goofy smile on his face still.

“I will never let the bathtub thing go.”

They continued their playful back and forth while Y/N continued studying until he was interrupted by another student, a guy from one of his history classes. This guy was more or less a bit annoying and creepy and had been bothering Y/N for a while with his persistent quest to ask him out.

No matter how many times he rejected him, the guy always tried again and again. He never got forceful, or at least he never had the chance since Y/N always made sure there were people around or that he got to an area where other people were nearby just in case he tried something.

He wasn’t judging him, but he took Jason’s words and lessons very seriously when it came to his safety. He’d seen enough of his boyfriend’s cases where people didn’t take the necessary steps to keep themselves protected and safe because they didn’t imagine it would ‘go that far.’

The creep only left him alone when he saw Jason was with him. Truthfully, many people tended to steer clear of Y/N and his massively scary boyfriend whenever he was with them on campus besides his friends. They were even put off by Jason at times whenever they hung out with their friend cause they’d catch him at times giving them weird looks and glares if they touched or just got too close to his boyfriend for his liking.

Plus, after the one incident of the guy who tried to pick a fight with Y/N and pushed him, thus having to deal with Jason in the aftermath, everyone learned it was just better to steer clear.

So, when Jason wasn’t anywhere in sight, Y/N’s creepy stalker saw it as a perfect moment for him to try and make a move on his classmate, not expecting the very person he was hoping to avoid being on the phone the entire time.

It wasn’t until he saw Y/N unplug his earphones and hand him his phone that he realized he was indeed on a call, and after receiving possibly the most violently worded threat he had ever heard he decided there were plenty of other fish in the sea.

He handed the phone over to its owner before scurrying off like a scared mouse, Y/N watching with a confused but also amused and relieved look.

“Hi baby,” Jason immediately responded to Y/N’s ‘hello’ in his little delightful and excited tone whenever he heard his boyfriend’s voice.

“Jason, what did you say to him?” Y/N immediately asked.

“Hey! It’s babe, baby, sexy, honey, or Jay at the slightest to you, mister. Only my family calls me that.”

“Jason…”

“Babeee, stop it! I don’t consent to this treatment. No means no!” Jason protested in a whiny voice.

“You’re such a baby,” Y/N chuckled.

“Only for you, hot stuff. But we’ll be having a long talk when I get home about you not telling me about creepy guys bothering you.”

“How did you know?”

“Babe, you know who you’re dating, right? There never will be something that bothers you that I won’t know about. I’m always gonna protect you, even if it annoys the hell out of you.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the big smile spreading across his face at his boyfriend’s words, knowing he meant every single one. Jason would always be his protective lover.

☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

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stararch4ngelqueen · 7 months

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Repose

—

Time written- 10:51 p.m.

Jason Todd/fem!reader (Credit to Irenne on Pinterest)

—

The sting in his muscles when Jason so much as lifted a finger was nothing new to him. The healing bruises decorating his knuckles, the constant burning ache in his knees.

You’re getting old, Todd. You’d say to him.

Ouch, straight in the heart. He’d reply before cornering you against the nearest surface, giving you that cheeky smile that always made your cheeks rosy. Tell me I’m getting old again, see what other kinds of things I can get ya to say.

He liked to tease back, to push those tickle spots. adoring to make you laugh whenever he had the chance. Any positive reaction he gained from you was another gold star on his chart, a positive outlook on his conscience so grand, the galaxy would get jealous in a few months at most.

Watching you sleep enveloped his mind in a calm serenity he believed he couldn’t obtain anywhere else. A satisfaction of seeing the person you love committing such a simple action as sleeping was…

He wasn’t sure how to describe it.

All he’d know is he’d watch for hours without interruption, a content little smile remaining permanent on his face.

The comfort of your presence nearly allowed Jason to ignore the ache in his joints, the healing bruises and bandaged cuts you aided him with. His slightly injured, throbbing head slowly soothed from a few rapid release meds, provided by your little stash kept in a cross labeled medical in your dresser.

You made the ‘mistake’ of offering Jason a lollipop, typical pediatric doctor behavior.

He plays into it, asking for a scented sticker instead. Or a kiss.

You didn’t have any stickers, so you’re forced to settle per your dangerous boyfriend’s request. One kiss turned into another, shifting into Jason’s hands cradling your plush, warm hips, sitting you in his lap after a couple of encouraging nudges.

You advised against it at first, due to his injuries, but Jason couldn’t help but insist.

“Jay?” Your eyes squint in the darkness, catching the faint rays of moonlight reflecting off the white streaks in his tussled hair. Your red teddy bear stares down at you, gifting your bare body a warm squeeze against his.

“You okay?” You croak out a whisper, growing a little worried as to why he was awake at this hour. Like your tired brain could fully acknowledge the time, really.

Jason nods once. “Yeah. M’okay, babe.”

“Do you have to go?” Your sweet, tired voice tugs at his sore heartstrings. You never wanted him to leave, dreading laying in bed all alone while watching him get dressed. As much as you admired his physique, it most likely ends with some kind of cut to clean and kiss better.

You wanted him to remain right where he was: in a safe space, a warm meal in his belly, his wounds tended to, his body resting after various limbs grew tangled within each other’s.

Jason was here. He was here, he was safe. His heartbeat usually lulled you to sleep, but tonight you settled for a pillow to keep the pressure off his chest.

“No no,” he replies, trailing a few calloused fingers along your cheek. “No, I’m stayin’ tonight.”

Your tired smile grows when he kissed your concerns away, his nose brushing along yours as his pecks trail from one on your cheek, towards another on the top of your head.

“What’s wrong?” Your exhausted mind remains ever so vigilant on his behalf, feeling both heart warmed and a little guilty. He’s supposed to tend to your needs, but it’s not that he doesn’t appreciate it.

He needs to give you a day. A day full of appreciation for all the hours you’ve spent doting on him, taking care of him like this. He wanted you to experience just how much of an absolute cherub you’ve been, kissing his cheek repeatedly while settling your head along his shoulder.

“Shh shhh. Nothing, babygirl.” Jason rasps, pressing a warm kiss to your temple before reinforcing his hold, rubbing soothing circles along your back, gently cradling your head against his good shoulder. “Go back to sleep.”

#Jason Todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x you #dc jason todd #jason todd x plus size reader

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adickaboutspoons · 8 months

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Fuck me, I have more to say about this moment:

And it's gonna get ugly, folks, so buckle in. As important as it is to understand this scene as a moment of Character Growth for Stede? It's also key to understanding Why Shit Went Down the way it did during the negotiation of the escape plan in Act of Grace. So Stede stands up for himself and draws some boundaries. Good for him! Love to see it. And how does Ed respond to "I don't like who you are around this guy?"

And what does he say when he chooses to leave with Jack?

It's a through-line. In this moment, Ed is calling back to the conversation on the beach. I don't think he is being intentionally cruel - to him, what he's saying is more of a reflection of his struggles with feelings of worthlessness - but how can Stede help but make the association; the ONE TIME he draws boundaries with Ed, Ed leaves. Not only does Ed choose to go, rather than stay and respect Stede's boundaries (which, I would argue are completely reasonable here; Don't wantonly kill innocent animals), he is aligning himself with the man that has spent the entire day tormenting Stede ("This" - Jack killing Karl - "is who I am"). Again, I'm not saying that he's being intentionally cruel; I don't think he fully understands how awful Jack has been to Stede. But, surely you can see how, from Stede's perspective, this is absolutely DEVASTATING - much more than JUST the heartbreak of the man that you had so recently made tentative plans to join your life with ("Co-Captains!") breaking up with you. But breaking up with you AND CHOOSING ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE YOU KNOW OVER YOU.

So now we come to the Act of Grace and the scene on the beach:

No, AFTER that.

Ed proposes a plan to run away together. And Stede... doesn't say yes. In fact, his first instinct is to push back, THREE TIMES.

"But you said there was no escape."

"What about the English? They'll be all over us."

"China? That's quite far away."

Every time Ed dismisses his concerns - comes up with a reason to make the plan A Thing. Ed is clearly not going to take "no" for an answer.

And what happened the last time Stede told him no?

Ed left.

Ed broke his heart.

Ed sided with the kind of person that validates Stede's every insecurity about not being enough.

So is it any wonder that Stede gives in? And not even with enthusiastic consent. With the most tepid positive-leaning neutral responses possible.

"Yeah."

"I think so."

"Mm-hm."

(Which is to say nothing about his body language - the incredulous-bordering-on-disgusted face he makes when he talks about China, his lips pressed together when he says "Mm-hm", the way he starts the conversation leaning in toward Ed, his body twisted toward him, but quickly shifts so his body is angled straight ahead with his head awkwardly twisted to the side to look at Ed)

The seeds of tragedy were planted when Ed left Stede. Because, by doing so, he accidentally reinforced a lifetime of Stede being taught that his wants and needs are secondary to those of others, and that acceptance is conditional on compliance.

#spicy takes that I won't at all come to regret #my modest contribution to fandom #ofmd #our flag means death

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topaz-witch-tea · 6 months

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hello! First of all, thank you for creating the Yanqing's Happy Family AU! I'm kind of obsessed with it, ngl, it's like, they're soooo cute!!!

Anyway, do you have any HC of when Yanqing doing his first mission as a Cloud Knight? In my head I always thought of the dads as the kind of parent that would secretly follow (*cough*stalk*cough*) their kid on their very first errand to the market, and the thought of that happening here is hilarious lmao🥰🥰

Then again, I just love all HC of the dads being protective of Yanqing in general, like maybe from an assassination attempt? It'll make a good angst :D

Thank you!!! They are super cute!!!❤️

They are very protective of Yanqing and I do have an assassination attempt on that is in the works. Still at the brainstorming phase thought so it'll be a while before it is written.

I wasn't sure which kind of mission you wanted so I provided 2 different ones. I love them being protective but anxious dads. Feel free to send more asks!!!

Supervised Mission

Up until he was 13, Yanqing's missions were always supervised by Jing Yuan or Jingliu. While the Xianzhou Alliance at heart was always at war, they did not have it in them to send Yanqing out on his own regardless of his skill. For those who stay behind, they are a bundle of nerves that grow more frantic each day. The battlefield is unpredictable and their little bird is so young and little. They could not bear it if his wings were clipped too early.

Even during supervised missions, there were always constant calls and follow-ups. Jing Yuan was always strict about not missing personal relationships with work, especially since it could lead to talks of Yanqing only achieving his position through nepotism. However, he would give constant updates and was only on the lookout for Yanqing's well-being. While he would sit back so his son could learn, any opponent that targeted his son would be quickly killed by Lightning Lord.

Jingliu, on the other hand, does not coddle Yanqing on missions. Coddling would only harm him and it is best he learn about the battlefield in a controlled environment. it was also why she refused to let the others join any mission Yanqing was on with the exception of Jing Yuan. Jingliu blocks the others before a mission due to their constant questions. One would think Dan Feng is the worst, but it's actually Yingxing. Dan Feng texts constantly at the beginning but will stop after a couple of hours. Yingxing sends a text every hour on the dot. "You guys are annoying. He's fine, if he wasn't I would text you."- JIngliu

First Solo Mission

A full-fledged assault by the Denizens of Abundance on a planetary system was met with the combined might of all six ships. Due to the scale of the battle and the need for all available personnel to be on the frontline, Yanqing's first solo mission on the battlefield was as reinforcements against the Windguard mecha beasts. At the same time, other members of his family were sent to different battles as well, leaving them unable to reach him.

Dan Feng, who was stationed on a water-filled planet due to his powers, was absolutely ferocious in battle. He cut through enemies without mercy. To him, the more they died, the less they were threats to his child. He also was extremely angry at being so far away and had no qualms about using his power to the fullest extent to end the battle quickly. The sooner he returned, the sooner he could see his child and tend to injuries. He could not find it in him to look at updates for Yanqing's battalion but he assumed if no messenger came, then his son was okay. "I need all of you to quickly die so I can go home and see my family."- Dan Feng after drowning a third of the enemy forces

Yingxing, despite being the most composed when it came to Yanqing, was filled with worry. He double, tripled checked his son's weapons before he left. He provided as much information as he could on the working on mechabeasts in the hopes the situation would be resolved before Yanqing arrived on the battlefield. Due to the days of waiting and overseeing the production of weapons, he was incredibly short with everyone though many understood why. Yingxing refused to check on anyone's status, partially because he was sure they were fine but also because any distressing news could impact his work and delay supplies and weapons to the frontlines. "You can tell that idiot of a supplies officer if he keeps delaying supplies to the front lines I will kill him!" - Yingxing to one of his students

Baiheng had joined other foxian pilots in a vicious battle against the wingweavers. She was the closest to Yanqing in terms of location and would constantly man the communication lines for updates on his situation. It went to the point where she would fall asleep with her radio tuned into the communication line and each morning she would check the casualty list. "Casualty list. Search. Yanqing. Unit name. Comet Orbit Fleet. Nothing! oh, thank Lan!"- Baiheng

Jingliu is easily the calmest in the situation. Older and more experienced than anyone else, she is very aware of the path of the Hunt and what it demands. Also, as Yanqing's teacher, she knows he will be fine. If he is old enough to copy her attacks, he will have no problem against the enemy. However, after every battle, she also checks the casualty list. "Baiheng, fine. Dan Feng, fine. Yingxing, fine. Jing Yuan, fine. Yanqing, fine. Good, they're all fine."- Jingliu

Jing Yuan was incredibly anxious. He did not fight as his time was spent strategizing not only for his fleet but the entire alliance. He did not have time to watch over matters concerning Yanqing much to his chagrin but he had ordered Qingzu to notify him of any updates no matter how small. He also found himself unable to sleep due to worry and during rare quiet periods, he spent it watching videos of Yanqing as a baby or looking at photos of them as a family to quell his aching heart. "He was so small back then. Soon, you'll be home Yanqing."- Jing Yuan who was getting teary-eyed after looking at photos of Yanqing playing with Mimi.

Yanqing made quite a stir on the battlefield. Not only did he take the Windguard head-on and chop its head off, but he also managed to strategically destroy their fleet. With their main offensive weapon out of the picture, the remaining enemy was in disarray and open to a swift and decisive offensive. "This is exhilarating!"- Yanqing developing a penchant for for fighting and the battlefield.

Yanqing was the last to make it back to the Luofu due to him being stationed the furthest from his family. He was, however, greeted with great excitement. Jing Yuan, who was the first to greet him once they were away from the other Cloud Knights, pulled him into a hug and checked over the wounds he got. Yingxing was next, having rushed over from the Artisanship Commission. He also pulled his child into a hug before demanding to see all his weapons, hoping to assess the damages and repair them before he was sent out again. Dan Feng had come rushing from treating a nasty cut on Baiheng's leg and demanded to see Yanqing's wounds. He later spent the next hour redressing everything and criticizing the handiwork of an amateur medic, stating that Yanqing could have suffered from sepsis due to the wounds not being cleaned properly.

Baiheng and Jingliu had come over later after ensuring that each other was okay. Baiheng had ordered food and was hell-bent on feeding Yanqing, saying that he had gotten so skinny in the week he was away. Jingliu, having read the report, was more than proud of her student especially his actions him severing the Wingguard's head.

After that mission, it would be another 6 months before Yanqing was sent out again. Dan Feng refuses to let Yanqing out of his sight and Yingxing and Jing Yuan agree, saying he is too young to be doing back-to-back missions like that. It totally has nothing to do with the fact that the week he was away was the most stressful week of their lives and how Yingxing was losing so much hair from the stress.

I might have gone a bit overboard with answering this but I was just so into it!

Thank you for sending me this ask!!!

#yanqing #yanqing’s happy family au #jing yuan #dan feng #honkai star rail #yingxing #jingrenheng #hsr #baiheng #jingliu #yanqing's happy family au asks #yanqing's happy family au headcanons

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 3 months

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What do you think are Merlin and Arthur’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?

Heads up, I’m autistic and this has been my special interest for way too long and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it so this post is going to be a very long one.

My favourite thing about the writing of the show (which isn’t great, but separate issue) is how every character manages to make a complete 180 from the beginning to the end, turning their initial positive traits into negative traits while not sacrificing character development to do so. It’s a skill I haven’t figured out how to use very well in my own writing and envy greatly, but I can talk about it for hours.

For Merlin, his devotion to Arthur is easily his most interesting strength and weakness to me.

In season 1, it’s great because he finds out he has this grand purpose and suddenly all the things he’s struggled with, feeling like a monster, feeling cursed etc, suddenly make sense to him. It’s too much to put on a child (because he’s somewhere between 16-18 at first but that’s never confirmed) but if it helps him to see the beauty of magic and to see more than just “I felled a tree and almost killed a man” -based on the conversation with Will in season 1 episode 4- then that’s great.

So as the show progresses, he starts getting to know more about himself and what he can do, but because his two mentors reinforce that he’s solely tied to Arthur, every good thing he learns about magic is connected to a man who hates and doesn’t understand magic. Also someone who he has to hide from in order to protect himself and not end up on the pyre. At the same time, he also never has a chance to learn about his magic and where it came from like Morgana did with visiting the Druids and Kilgharrah was never exactly forthcoming with information.

I think that’s why Morgana and Merlin’s differences and similarities are so interesting to me, but that’s a different thing.

Anyway, by the end of season 4, Arthur is betrayed by Agravane and we see just how devoted Merlin is to Arthur in all the best ways. He assembles an army, restores Arthur’s hope and belief in himself, saves Arthur’s life while risking his own and then killing the uncle who betrayed him, (the brilliance of Agravaine dying with magic and Merlin simply stabbing Morgana was absolutely amazing, but again, I digress.) he also reunites Arthur with his love, and swears fealty to him despite being ‘just’ a servant.

At the same time, he uses magic to block Morgana’s powers to make sure they can win, and he does this by sneaking back into Camelot in the middle of the night and not sleeping for over 48 hours in order to do it. His devotion to Arthur goes so deep that he’s willing to destroy himself for it. That’s one of the less extreme examples, he does try to die for Arthur multiple times, but you get the point. Even if he isn’t dying, he’s living just for the purpose of serving Arthur and doing anything it takes to keep him safe. Even at the cost of Arthur himself, (not wanting him to choose between magic and his beliefs, which was literally Arthur’s job to choose as a king who’s responsible for all the people in his kingdom)

And he even says this in season 1 episode 13 when he says “his life is worth a hundred of mine” when he believes he’s going to die to save Arthur’s life after the questing beast and again at the end of season five, “I didn’t want to put you in that position”

I’m sleep deprived, please don’t make me recite whole episodes to remember quotes.

I just realised how long this is getting, so I’m going to try and wrap it up.

Anyway, by season 5, Merlin becomes so consumed by his fear of losing Arthur that he completely loses sight of what’s important, returning magic to Albion and ending the purge. I know they said the goal was peace at the end but in season 1, Kilgharrah sort of cryptically said he’d be returning magic. So he thinks Mordred needs to die, but he can’t get Arthur to see that because even if Arthur knew he was going to die by Mordred’s hand, I think he’d probably let it happen and just do the right thing as long as he did live.

Merlin knows this so he feels responsible for keeping Arthur alive by keeping secrets which is ultimately a final betrayal for Arthur in his last days while he’s coming to terms with it. He was more upset about the lies and the deception than the magic, which I’ll get onto in a minute, but Merlin’s solution of shielding Arthur instead of doing the right thing is ultimately what leads to his downfall. (Basically the Disir episode)

That’s a very condensed version, I’m more than happy to do a separate post with a full character analysis going through each major episode and what it says for anyone in the show if you want to see it.

Anyway.

Arthur’s greatest strength and weakness is his goodness and the trust he puts into the people around him so blindly.

In episode 2, he has a conversation with Merlin about Valiant cheating with magic to kill knights. Arthur believes him, albeit cautiously, and Merlin proves him right to do so in the end.

So he knows from the beginning that Merlin is trustworthy and loyal to a fault, but then he starts seeing all the other people in his life believing he’s doing better and opening up to him more. By episode 4, we see Gwen feel comfortable enough to call Arthur out for being ungrateful with Hunnith’s food in Ealdor, we see Morgana repeatedly encouraging Arthur to stand up for what he believes in, even if that belief is different from her own which he absolutely needs and will forever be her greatest act of love for Arthur in my opinion, Uther is slowly becoming less cold towards him too since Merlin came into his life and he started making these changes.

I’ve more to say on Uther, but separate thing.

He loves these people, even if he’d never admit it, so he sees the best in them. Love is blind and all that.

In season 2 episode 8, Merlin chooses Arthur over magic and even Arthur himself when it’s revealed that Uther used magic to conceive an heir. Merlin sets Arthur back in his progress to seeing that magic could be used for good and isn’t inherently evil, but at the same time sets himself up as choosing his side with magic while Arthur has his first betrayal from Uther.

(Arguably from Merlin as well, but one is a young man in a crisis situation, the other was a fully grown adult with all the information available to him and time to think it through before still deciding that a life for a life was worth it)

In that betrayal, that’s the first time that he really has anything negative to say against magic since in his mind, it deceived him and made him almost kill his father. Any hope he has of seeing magic for good is delayed, proven when he tells Merlin he was “confused” and I can’t remember the exact quote but that he’d also lost sight of what was important.

This is set further when Morgana reveals her magic at the same time as she’s revealing that she sides with Morgause, in Arthur’s eyes he just sees that his sister (who is apparently also his biological sister, another betrayal by Uther) has turned to magic and then turned evil. Merlin doesn’t do anything to dissuade this idea other than a few comments of his own guilt about there being people better suited to helping her.

He never questions Merlin on why he believes that because he trusts him so deeply and unconditionally.

If he had, Merlin wouldn’t have needed to confess to Magic. Will in Ealdor could’ve been his excuse for knowing that magic isn’t inherently evil. He could’ve explained that Morgana always had magic, that she was terrified, that he sent her to the Druids to help but Uther would’ve killed them so when Morgause offered her unconditional support and told her that she wasn’t a monster or anything in that vein, of course Morgana latched onto that because it was finally an answer and something hopeful. She did exactly the same thing Merlin did with Arthur, Kilgharrah, and Gaius, and I really can’t blame her for it. Her earlier actions can be justified but from season 4 onwards, there’s only so much I can say to defend her.

But if Arthur would’ve known that, he would’ve been a lot more open to the idea of accepting Morgana’s magic, maybe even learning about it if it meant getting his sister back.

But his blind trust is what gives him this huge disadvantage.

Agravane, a man who’s been completely absent from his life, is immediately given trust because he has a connection to Arthur’s mother. Arthur wants to have a family when his have all either died or betrayed him, so he lets Agravane be his chief advisor and despite several warnings from Gaius and Merlin, he’s still surprised when he’s betrayed by this man he’s never met.

Arthur has this such inherent goodness that the idea of betraying anyone is inconceivable to him. (There’s a joke in there somewhere about Arthur being quite literally inconceivable too)

I’m once again realising how long this post is, I didn’t think it’d get this long so I’m going to wrap it up. If anyone wants more in depth character analysis, please let me know. This is fun.

As for my favourite thing about Merlin and Arthur’s dynamic. Merthur. Basically just the ship stuff and their banter. Also the nuances in their relationship that are fun to read into and analyse but this is already too long so I’m just going to leave it there.

#this blog is turning into an autistic person rambling about their special interest sooner than I expected.#character analysis #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #merlin #merthur #i’m bad at tagging #king arthur #i don’t know how to tag this #rant #long post #ask me anything #anon ask

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raayllum · 7 months

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Callum 🤝 Stoick

“For you, my dear, anything.”

Everyone loves to draw comparisons between Callum and Hiccup (when they’re pretty fundamentally different people beyond the obvious surface level similarities) but sleep on this comparison! Love it

Gonna go on a deep dive cause Hiccup is one of my favourite characters ever but I've never written meta about him so

In some ways, Hiccup and Callum are similar - especially in terms of how they present. They're both goofy, more than a little awkward, deeply curious and compassionate, extremely loyal once you've earned/have their loyalty, a bit flighty and sometimes focused too much on the big picture in lieu of missing the little things. They both grew up feeling like the wrong fit for their environment/culture and it takes bonding with a mysterious, dangerous enemy and subsequent life changing adventure for them to start figuring out where they belong (and how). I think they'd get along splendidly and would absolutely show off flying tricks

However, they are also radically different, mostly because Hiccup is far more rebellious (and particularly in early HTTYD1) far more selfish than Callum is.

Due to a vicious cycle of "I want to prove myself to the village" -> "I mess up" -> "Village is annoyed by me" and a lack of other tangible options of places and circumstances to go into, Hiccup is about as bullheaded as it gets. Even before he meets Toothless, he's not super concerned about being a Viking according to his people's standards, and we don't know if he actually tried at being a traditional Viking very hard before he switched to machinery and inventing (I've also leaned towards not, but that's up for interpretation). He simply wants them to recognize that he can be a Viking, too, by his own standards - and in some ways better and more effectively than they can because he's using his smarts and not just his ('nonexistent') brawn. He's effectively beholden to no one but himself, especially since his relationship with his father is so strained and Gobber does his best, but is understandably not a perfect substitute / cannot be everything a 15 year old boy needs or wants to have socially. This is also why Stoic's scoldings are so ineffective, because pre-Toothless Hiccup doesn't really care that much if he royally mucks things up for the Village time and time again if it's in pursuit of praise/recognition - which is not entirely unreasonable (we all want attention/positive reinforcement) particularly for a teenager, but it is short sighted and immature.

Then he meets Toothless, and learns 1) how to put something and someone else heavily above his own wants & needs, and 2) how to contribute to the village in a way that would be beneficial for everyone, not just the people (beginning of the movie)/himself, or for the dragons/himself (when he was planning to run away), but for all of them, irregardless of himself. This journey is ultimately what's culminated in the third movie by finally living up to his father ("How do you become someone that great, that brave, that selfless?") by willing to do with Toothless what Stoic was willing to do with him: to let him go, so that he'd be Safe. The first thing Hiccup ever did, that set him on an entirely new path after all, was to set a dragon free. I always thought it was very fitting that was his final act as well.

And it's this journey from selfish slightly sarcastic but intelligent, sympathetically immature teenager to a wiser, selfless, less independent but more reliable adult, aided by the events of the films, the memory/inspiration of his father, everything about Toothless and his love/support of Hiccup, and Astrid being about as devoted to Berk as it gets (which is absolutely something Hiccup needs) that allows him to be a great Chief. He's able to put the greater good of his family and people above what he may personally want in the short term ("I was so busy thinking about the world that I wanted, I didn't think about what you needed") to prioritize his goals in the long term ("And we'll guard the secret until the time comes that dragons can return in peace").

And due to all of this, Callum starts out in a fundamentally different place, because he always has an internal and externally imposed responsibility from the start: Ezran. "Take care of your brother," are Harrow's final, parting words to him, after all, and we see Callum take this with him throughout the series, whether it's trying to be assassinated in Ezran's place, promising to return and help him once Zym is brought home, or rushing to defend him when he thinks there's another plot against the king. This is also where we see Callum's selective loyalty creep in. While Callum would make a great general due to his tactician skills and ability to think ahead, he is ultimately too reckless and obsessive to make a good king - or in the Hiccup comparison, Chief. Although both are leadership roles, having Ezran / others there to temper him occasionally as a general is crucial - he needs that safety net (or someone to tell him to keep his eyes on the road) which him being the final authority on the throne would not provide ("I may be queen but even I can't stop those two when they've set their minds on something") that not being on the throne can marginally provide. This is also one of the reasons why I don't think either Callum or Rayla are really suited to a long term life at court / as royalty, but post for another day <3

Callum also has more of a temper and more of a nasty temper toward his loved ones as well that Hiccup really doesn't have a shred of - he'll be sarcastic and a bit snippy but he'll never aim for the jugular, y'know? (Hiccup is also more marginally prone to self blame probably because he's grown up enough to take full responsibility for his actions after a childhood of mostly shirking/dismissing them, but like side tangent)

So like Callum's consistent sense of responsibility keeps him tempered and more mild mannered and less rebellious (and him and Harrow have a much better relationship than pre-HTTYD1 Hiccup and Stoick, which absolutely helps; each may have resembled each other more in HTTYD2 esque dynamic if Harrow had lived to see Callum mature / grow into himself a bit more) but also leaves him far more selectively loyal / focused on his own bubble most of the time.

Like Hiccup is just loyal enough (aided by Astrid) to his People to like be able to do the ins and outs and enjoy it overall? And I've never gotten the same sense from Callum at any point in the series (which "I'm beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom" - thank you TOX). And I do think the way Callum would want to change the world is more magic based - teaching other people how to connect and harness magic - is more in line for him overall but again: post for another day (and we'll have to see where canon goes). Because of Toothless, Hiccup's bubble expands to Astrid and the gang and his father, fully, and stays expanded; Toothless gave him the family & support he needed to no longer need Toothless to stay in the same manner. For Callum, his bubble is Ezran, expands to Rayla as well over the course of arc 1 at first because of Ezran and because of their own bond - and it doesn't really expand with the same intensity to basically anyone else (see Callum being worried, sure, about Soren in 4x06/4x07 but also a lot more focused in general in how Soren's absence is affecting Rayla and thereby focusing on reassuring her)

Callum is also just way more of a loose canon, at least to me. Trying out the lightning spell just because in 1x05 with no safety net, staying way too long at the Great Bookery in 5x04 when they absolutely could've just come back after stopping Aaravos and co., and again: he just has an edge to him that Hiccup doesn't? It's hard to describe and I don't think there's necessarily a reason behind besides "they're two different characters with accordingly different characterizations" but I can't see Hiccup doing dark magic or being tempted by it - even if it was to save Toothless, or something? He's just too much of a bleeding heart/animal lover and a lot more Ezran on that level

Long characterization aside, I actually think Rayla and Hiccup are probably more similar in that rebellious / witty streak to your disappointed more restrictive tougher mentor (Runaan, Stoick) but that Callum 100% has Stoick's devotion to Valka down pat. "For you my dear, anything," the slow approach in asking but not assuming she'll be his wife again, the forgiveness and understanding of Valka and Rayla staying away all that time, the "I don't want another. Your mother was the only woman for me. She was the love of my life" excuse me while I go cry.

#httyd #how to train your dragon #thanks for asking #analysis series #analysis #mandaloriandragontrainer #characterization #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp callum

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basiatlu · 7 months

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@black-occamy here again 🖤

Oh, amazing Artist! Would you be so kind to share some tips for absolute crap beginners?

Love 😘

Helloooo~☆ I took a moment to type this out a little bit ago and to tweak and edit as I saw fit so ty for waiting.

Ok ok so here's Crap Tips for Crap Beginners:

Stop calling yourself "crap, bad, and trash" when first starting out. - You wanna improve and have the drive to make art and feel satisfied at the end of a drawing? Then give yourself the positive reinforcement that most pups need in learning a new skill and trick. Treats and good pets and "nice jobs!" The whole world will fight against you, they'll try to beat you down and tell you what you do and how you do it doesn't matter. You've got to tell them to stick that where the sun doesn't shine. Aggressively support yourself - fake it till you make it etc etc. Pretend everything you do is intentional until you see yourself making more intentional decisions with your artwork.

With the pep talk out of the way - Warming Up is so important. Just like athletes and dancers do beforehand, you need to stretch your hands and arms and shoulders. And then you need to have a healthy back posture if possible. Draw with your whole arm and not just your wrists and fingers. Aaaand then you need to get the squiggles out. By that I mean make marks on your medium/paper/tablet. Little hatch marks, boxes, circles, tornados, silly emoji faces! When learning to draw, there will be 100 bad drawings before you reach a single good one, is what my college professor would say. And damn was he good.

If you can't draw something well or easily then you need to draw it again and again and again.... and again. I was really struggling to draw hands and feet! So I took pictures of my own hands, of my friends' hands, saved pictures from online, etc and made studies of them. Just paid extremely close attention to what I was actually looking at (and not what I thought hands where supposed to appear as). I also studied medical anatomical diagrams on hands to learn the bones, muscles, and tendons in the hands! It's very important!!! Studying can be applied to anything: cars, plants, animals, braids, fabric textures....

You have to refresh your lessons - once you do a study it doesn't permanently install into your brain for you to copy/paste whenever you need it. You have to revisit and keep that muscle memory in your hands for when you go to draw. I fall out of practice ALL the time and need to dedicate time to relearn how to draw things. And this isn't because I'm failing or wasting away as an artist, it's just a simple fact that I lost a little bit of my artist muscle mass and need to work out those muscles again. See?

You don't need fancy tools to draw, but they do help. I always break it down to the simplest form of sticks and mud. You can draw with pencils, twigs, charcoal, paint, on paper, in the dirt, in the sand, on canvas, on your phone, on a tablet. On and on it goes. Have the tools you need so you don't hinder yourself but don't hold back because you need to 'wait for the latest and greatest tech.' Why wait? Brush packs will not instantly make you a better artist, my dude. Printer paper and a sharpened pencil will take you miles.

And that's honestly it! Generally all good tips to keep in mind for when you're first starting. Some of these I have to also remind myself. I get down on my abilities and need the reminders too. Getting down to the basics is really important. Stretch, practice, stay strong, and oh! Also take breaks. ✨️

#art advice #art tips #shushbosh #art #drawing #artists on tumblr

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sirquibble · 5 months

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Why I disagree with the Good Omens s2 coffee theory

!! Good Omens Season 2 spoilers !! I want to start off by saying that this is no hate to the people that like this theory, this is just my own thoughts :) I want to really break down Aziraphale's conversation with the Metatron in particular. I think there's tons of evidence in this conversation that shows Aziraphale wasn't mind controlled or anything, but just very well manipulated. In this scene, the Metatron speaks in absolutes, saying things like "you're just the angel for the job", which is giving him validation, from someone right at the top of the hierarchy, no less. However, Aziraphale's reply, "I don't want to go back to Heaven", is interesting as he stutters then immediately looks away, then makes a joke about the coffee to ease the uncomfortable tension. But, the Metatron continues to talk and completely ignores what Azi has just said, ''You know, as supreme archangel, you would be able to decide who to work with". Again, he's speaking in absolutes and is only offering him the option of becoming supreme archangel. The Metatron doesn't even give time to the thought that Aziraphale doesn't want this, because by acknowledging that, he'd give Azi time to think about it more, which would lessen his chances of being able to persuade Aziraphale to come back. I think that alone really shows how he's subtly influencing Aziraphale's choice here, not from mind control, but masterful manipulation. The Metatron carries on by saying, "Yeah, I've been looking over a number of your previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a de facto relationship with the demon Crowley." He's giving Aziraphale nowhere to hide by bringing Crowley up, and this is clearly an attempt to make Azi feel guilty and feel like he needs to redeems himself somehow by painting his actions in a subtly negative light. After this, Aziraphale very quickly breaks eye contact after staring at him very intently, possibly out of shame or because he was thinking about Crowley. However, the Metatron immediately gets his attention back, not allowing him any time to think, "Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that... might be considered irregular but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend, Crowley, to full angelic status". He's reminding Azi that what he's doing is 'wrong' to make him feel guilty, but then offering him exactly what he's wanted - Not specifically for Crowley to be an angel again, but for the two of them to be able to be happy together without any kind of shame or judgement. Additionally, he refers to Crowley as Aziraphale's friend, which reinforces that him being restored would make him more than just some demon and attempts to give the impression it would be positive for the both of them. The Metatron is also offering Azi power to have actual control over his relationship with Crowley, which would be another thing that could tempt him into agreeing. Crowley is his biggest weakness and the Metatron used this weakness to manipulate him, knowing full well that Aziraphale wouldn't put himself first. The entire conversation structure was essentially 'you did this how dare you, but you can make it better by doing this'. He was lured into accepting through manipulation, not mind control. In regards to the infamous kiss scene, I do genuinely believe that Aziraphale's reaction wasn't due to mind control - but shock. It was the wrong place and wrong time and it was such a painfully human moment, but that's a whole other topic of discussion. But, yeah! That's just my analysis of that scene, and if I turn out to be wrong, at least I had fun HAHA

#good omens #ineffable husbands #theory #good omens 2 #good omens theory #fuck the metatron #aziraphale #no seriously though #i hate the metatron #i HATE him #aziraphale defender

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nirashiyahell · 5 months

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My Problem With The Fandom's Treatment Of Niragi; And Why His Fans Are Apart Of It.

Wow, a controversial post about a controversial character! Have fun reading and leave your opinions in the comments or reblogs, remember we are all human beings, thanks:)

Let me preface that I absolutely DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS and you are able to like/enjoy a character without agreeing with their actions or what they stand for, which brings me to my first point: he is not a good person in any shape or form, he does not have decent morals, and he is not a good. person, but no one in the show is. 1. The Gray Morality Of The Characters In Alice In Borderland

This is something I had caught on to by I think near the end of the first season, and it was reinforced throughout the second season of the show, let's take one of the most beloved characters, Chishiya, as an example: his character obtains a large favoritism boost because of the handsomeness of the actor he was played by, which is an unfortunate curse that many medias face, I say curse because most of these characters are separated from their complexity, and the only striking factor they posses is how physically attractive they are.

Chishiya Shuntaro, while not the main character, has quickly become a fan favorite because of the reasons stated above, now let's look at what makes him a really good antagonist (please note: I will be comparing both the LA and manga!); to start off, he is incredibiy selfish, a trait one must have to survive the games, he is shown to be a very "lone-wolf" type of character since his first few seconds of screen time, despite having Kuina by his side, which is a change that differs from the source material, likely made to have him appear as more likeable; in all the games we see him in season one, he is almost never in a group for more than a few seconds, in the hide and seek game, he wanders off to search for a high position to watch over the players and how the shooter moves, thus isolating himself. He does not view the players as people, surviving in his same situation, but rather shields, guinea pigs, chess pieces, anything that he can manipulate; he makes Arisu trust him enough to manipulate him in the 10 of Hearts game, and does not care of the known consequences that Arisu will face for that. The whole thing about his character in the first half, is that he cares only himself surviving, at the cost of other people, no matter who they are.

He lacks empathy and simpathy, well withing the entire season and the first half of the second season, I dislike this season in regards to how they handled his character, before reading the manga, I was not aware of how many panels were left out that showed, empathized his selfish nature, instead putting him in a game he wasn't even apart of in the first place, all for the sake of some sympathy towards him: all in all, I did like the Jack Of Diamonds game and understand why the writers chose this path for him, and Ippei's interactions with him were a good parallel (and a possible moral dilemma) for him, Ippei was sweet, selfless and caring, traits Chishiya does not have, they end up forming a bond that is quickly cut off because of Ippei's sad death, he acknowledges the boy's kindness, and then returns to his former self; he does not show any more compassion, until a crucial game. The King Of Diamonds was also a game that could have been done a bit better in my opinion, yes it's still a great arc, but it neglected a very important dynamic with a character; Daimon, though again, very short-lived, the interactions with her showed that Chishiya does not inheretly hate humanity, more so he does not care for it, most of the time. Kuzuryu was done well, he revealed a worldview that Chishiya was blind to until then, and actually feels something rather than indifference for the ex-lawyer's death.

Arisu, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of Chishiya, he's the protagonist that would be deemed "morally white" and he is at the start, but his morals have changed in the course of the show, because who does not adapt does not survive: he is a very emotional character, he lets his heart speak rather than his head, this is shown to be a disadvantage, as he gets manipulated easily, but it is also why Arisu gained allies in almost every game, because he was able to show compassion towards other people, he cared about saving others, even if it put him in danger. He suffers for every death he comes across, blaming himself for it because he believes he could have done something, but that does not mean that he's not morally gray; Arisu, for the most part, is stuck in a toxic cycle of self-hatred, which lead to him either shutting down or having miscommunication with the people he cared about, like in the King Of Clubs.

Niragi, in contrast to the other two characters is A VILLAIN. A villanous character is meant to oppose the main cast and bring constant or reaccuring conflict to the story, they have twisted morals, selfish motives, and a foul mouth: this character does things that the audience is SUPPOSED to be against, whenever something happens, the audience is actively NOT supposed to condone it, a villain is meant to be disliked, but it's not the end of the world if he does end up being liked. Niragi Suguru is an extreme of that stereotype, his worldview is animalistic, he sees people as weak, things to prey upon, which is why he attempted to prey on Usagi during the panic of the game in the end of the first season: again, I am no way defending his actions or justifying him, he's a terrible person who committed terrible things, but he is an extremely well-written character. Niragi does not start off as what he is currently, pre-Borderlands, HE is the person people prey on, he is put in vulnerable situations that often cause him to be physically injured, and no one cares, therefore his anger goes unchecked, untreated which leads to mental health issues: before the Borderlands, he is not agressive, he is not assertive, he is not power hungry, he was a victim of serious, repeated bullying that went unseen by people he was meant to trust: in the Borderlands, there is NO law, NO social etiquette, just humans fighting for their lives, this is where Niragi gets the confidence he lacked all those years, this is where he becomes the predator and ceased to be the prey.

2. Niragi's Fans

Niragi is physically attractive, his actor is pretty, apperently that's enough to be defended for, and the reason why someone could possibily not hate his character to death. Liking a character based on looks solely should not be considered liking them at all, and it should absolutely NOT be defended, especially if the character is in the wrong: when people talk about the fans, it's mostly in a mean way, as most of them like him for his attractiveness, not all of them, most. which is why both the character and whoever admits to liking them, is looked down upon at best, receiving death treats is rather expectable at this point, that's not the only reason though; a large majority, if not everything, on the Niragi tag is NSFW-related, no character analysis, no character quotes. Just. Smut. I find it revolting for a character, any character, to be reduced to physical pleasure, there's rarely fluff and EVERYTHING is x reader. He did not have that final scene with Chishiya + that character development realizing he was at fault for his actions to be reduced to a sexy bad boy.

TLDR; I'm too emotionally attached to this burnt man so I'm mad about people not seeing him as a character.

(I was really sick while writing this, sorry if it's all over the place!)

#AIB rant post #Niragi #Niragi Suguru #Chishiya #Chishiya Shuntaro #Arisu #Arisu Ryohei #controversial??#AIB #Alice In Borderland #*rubs hands together for the incoming hate train*

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everybody-loves-purdy · 22 hours

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I’m absolutely positive we’ll see Wasp again, if not to join Riverclan (i hope he’s able to at least visit, I feel so bad for him) then to bring reinforcements for Frostpaw’s cause. I can’t imagine the park cats wouldn’t want to help!!!

I really hope he turns up with Bee in Star. I feel like the two could cross paths if Bee is already travelling to the lake based on his visions (and maybe a vision could lead him to Wasp), and Bee could persuade him to come to the lake with him, because he’s seen that the RiverClan situation will soon be resolved. I hope Rook is there too with Bee. I think the three of them would make great additions to RiverClan, particularly Bee as a medicine cat.

I have no idea why they would mention Bee’s visions, especially as the last thing we see of him in Thunder, if he was never going to be relevant ever again. Especially how the reoccurring vision he described to Nightheart is left with zero conclusion in Thunder.

Also I think if meditation is to be established in RiverClan again, it would be beneficial to have multiple cats advocating for the practice rather than just one.

RiverClan does probably need new members when all this is said and done after all. Since the start of the arc, 4 RiverClan cats have died. Two are actively evil (Splash and Pod) so I imagine they will be gone by the end of the arc. And there’s no telling who won’t survive Star. Even if it’s just those six, the Splashtail siblings and the trio I’ve mentioned would replace the numbers.

#anonymous #asc spoilers #wind spoilers #warrior cats spoilers

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goodluckclove · 8 days

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On Being Seen

I'll warn you in advance, friends and colleagues - I might not have quite an optimistic take on this one. In advance I'll say that I'm totally all right, there's no need to comfort or fawn or worry. It's just been a pretty crazy couple of days and it's sort of left me in a kind of perturbed state of mind.

I feel as if I've developed a reputation on Writeblr as someone strongly supportive of other writers through their struggles and successes, and I figure it might be useful to see that I speak as someone who has their fair share of doubts. Consider it a show of neurosis that supports me as your steadfast advocate in creative growth and potential.

I'll put it under a read more. It's nothing triggering I don't think, I'm just a little embarrassed to have it fully visible under what I still consider to be a relatively professional space. Or at least a space for me as a professional whose brand involves not being very professional.

Nevertheless.

I debated for a long time self-publishing Blind Trust. I went back and forth every so often for weeks, and my poor wife had to deal with the brunt of my strange excuses not to do it. It really came down to one big question, which was...why?

Why am I publishing this? And for money, no less? That's weird. Why would anybody support that? It wouldn't deter me from writing if I never published any of the Songbird Elegies. I'd still write them. I've been writing stories for almost 20 years that no one has ever read and no one will probably ever read.

Sure, I have the fantasies of relative cult notoriety. People making fanart of my characters and sharing weird memes about my plot points. Finding comfort in the words and stories I've created to comfort myself. When I was still considered schizoaffective my dad gave me a copy of Flow My Tears the Policeman Said by Philip K. Dick and said that he was "like us". If that happened to someone else with one of my books it would mean the world to me.

Then again, would it? Because in my actual, real, physical life I am terrible at taking praise. It's like trying to catch a ball from the other side of a brick wall. If you ever pass me on the street I'm guaranteed to be wearing soundproof headphones and blasting music to keep anyone from talking to me. You might catch my eye and I'll smile and nod, maybe toss a compliment your way, but if you try to have a conversation and I do not know you I will absolutely just keep walking. I can't do it.

I love people and I'm terrified of people. It's always been this way.

It's easier online. I mean it when I say that I'm open to anyone here just starting a conversation with me about anything. There's already the unspoken assumption that we're all already weird, so I don't have to think too hard about your motivations. But still, large amounts of praise and positive reinforcement make me deeply uncomfortable. I've been trying to work on that for years, but I find most advice on building self-worth deeply unhelpful.

It's not like I'd prefer hate. I think I'm just not used to being noticed either way.

This is the first time I've made an honest effort to put my work, and by proxy myself (all writers are brands now, says the publishing industry as a whole) on display online. And for the most part it's been great! I enjoy the connections I've made here. The promise of making more. There are so many skilled storytellers here that it gives me a lot of hope and excitement for the future of literature.

But it's weird. It's really weird.

Most of the time I see it as another social media client. I stand by the posts I make and do them for fun, but I also do them to maintain a presence and draw in more attention. I studied to do things like this for work before. I picked like three social media management tactics that I thought I could remember when I was 18 and just stuck by them. And then occasionally I go oh wait. This isn't some nonprofit. This isn't a start-up for tech assholes. This is me.

And that's weird.

It's not a massive following I have, but it's more than I've ever had before under my own personal and creative writing. I published short stories and articles, but I never heard anything from them. There are short stories I have on online journals that I genuinely do not know if anyone has read. Here, I see people like things and I'm like huh. I feel like a mummy or a ghoul. I do not understand what people are doing.

One part of my brain takes this information and says that it's probably proof that when I publish Blind Trust, some people will buy it. People have expressed interest already. Which means they're probably interested, I think. I post excerpts of my writing and people seem to enjoy it enough to click a button or leave a comment. That's cool. I don't get why it happens, but it's very cool and it makes me happy.

At the same time there's this undercurrent of paranoia. I don't get it. And I don't think I ever will. That's essentially been my only coping mechanism for publishing at this point - I don't know if it'll work, but I might as well try and if I do something will probably happen.

I know I'm a writer. At this point it would be ridiculous to say I wasn't. I'm a professional, working writer, and experienced enough to know that saying all that doesn't say much in terms of quality.

Am I a good writer? I don't really know what that means. I like Blind Trust. I'm reading it for the fourth time as I edit it again and I genuinely enjoy it. So someone who thinks like me and has similar tastes to myself might feel the same way. I don't really know who that person might be. Statistically I imagine they have to exist somewhere. And that there's at least a handful of them.

Imposter Syndrome is real and I don't think it ever goes away. I'd like to think that it's one of those things where you think about it less and less, and this is just the first night in maybe five months that I'm really thinking about it.

I'm not expecting to make a ton of money off my first book. In fact, I probably will be sick from anxiety with any purchase I get for the first year, because it means that someone spent human money on writing I am happy to just give them for free.

But this is going to be my job. I want this to be my job so I can spend more time doing it. Because I've dedicated so much time to doing all of this, it means I get to spend a lot of my day getting other writers to write even a little bit of their own stories. And that's so important to me.

I don't know. I don't really have a neat end to this. I'm forcing myself to actually follow through with posting it, and then to continue keeping it up even though it feels incredibly vulnerable to be, in my opinion, this self-indulgent and whiny. It's insecure. I'm still insecure. I'm in therapy and on medication and there's more shit I got to do in life.

Still, I'm telling myself that my version of being a Professional Writer is to showcase emotional pitfalls like this. Newer writers might know that you can sometimes have a night where you might not be in despair, per say, but certainly deep confusion, and then come back the next day and keep on working. I stand by what I mean when I say that the craft should not be entirely miserable. It is still maybe 25% inconvenient to me, and I am currently in that less-desirable quarter.

So what am I doing? Wife got us Jersey Mike's, so I had a yummy sandwich. Kafka is sitting on my calves, just behind my laptop monitor. I'm listening to my soul/funk playlist while Wife plays Hell Divers for the first time. Later we're going to play a board game.

But for now, I'm going to keep editing my goddamned novel.

Blind Trust out in June. Get ready people, because I'm not.

#writeblr #writing community #writers on tumblr #on writing #writing #indie author #authors of tumblr #vent post #personal #oh god the ego #i'm dying

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vampsquerade · 2 years

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got the last request ever from the lovely and sweet @corpse-poet for Glaz and Kapkan fighting over the reader! took a bit of a different route for it and i honesy like how it came out. thanks for requesting mamas i looove you 🥺😩

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Kapkan x GN!Reader x Glaz: Romantic Altercations

Trigger Warnings: slight angst, eventual fluff, physical altercations (fist fighting), bloody noses, getting shot in the face (fake bullets, reader is hit)

Life was easy for someone like you. You were hired as a test hostage for an elite CTU called Rainbow, and you absolutely loved it. You got paid a lot just for sitting there, occasionally getting blown up and shot at. A lot of the operators were also pretty nice to you, usually apologizing for the things they accidentally do to you. Two operators however seemed to find themselves clinging to you a lot whenever you were brought back to their training scenarios. Maxim and Timur, the 2 of 4 Spetsnaz operators, were practically always at your side when you were around. They cared a lot about you and wanted to get to know you better and so they took your simple position as the best way to. It was kind of cute.

“So Y/N, have you come to enjoy this job?” Maxim asked. “I like it. If I can make good money from just sitting on the floor all tied up and having you guys shoot near me and blow me up with fake explosives, it’s all good.” you say. “I see. Do you not get tired of it?” Timur asked. “It can get tiring, yeah. But I’m not here everyday and for that I can be thankful.” you say. “That’s good. I hope you never get tired of being here with us, we appreciate your work.” Maxim said, patting your shoulder. You smile up at him and unbeknownst to you, this causes an anger in Timur to stir within him.

You didn’t know it, but he and Maxim have been fighting over who gets to have you. The two were absolutely infatuated with you, so much so that the duo constantly got into shouting matches when you weren’t around. It was surprising too, because they had never had an argument with each other and it pretty much unnerved the other operators.

Soon enough, you all reach the training scenario and Maxim and Timur help get you ready. Timur is the one that puts the cloth in your mouth, doing so gently. He also takes this as the chance to gently caress your lips, causing you to fluster. Maxim then delicately binds your wrists together with some rope, kissing each of your fingers. The sudden affection was making you a bit hazy, and you didn’t even realize that the two of them were helping you walk. “Are you feeling okay, Y/N? You seem to be a bit distracted.” Timur said. His tone sounded like he was teasing you, and it made you come to your senses a bit. “Uh…I’m fine, don't worry.” you say, laughing sheepishly. “Well if there’s something wrong feel free to tell us. We will take care of you.” Maxim said.

You give him a nod, and Timur lets go of your arm. “I must group you with everyone else. You two go get in position.” he said. “We will. Thank you for helping me in getting Y/N here.” Maxim said. His tone was oddly colder than normal, and it made you a bit worried. He then carefully helped you inside, gently setting you down in the room Gustave had told him to place you. “I will protect you. You don’t need anybody else but me.” he whispered, flashing you a grin before putting his mask on over his mouth and nose. Giving him a nod, you clap twice as a way to say thank you to him before he goes to reinforce the walls.

The training session seems to go on for a while, a good 8 matches you believe, and you were finally beginning to feel extremely exhausted. There was only one round left, according to Mark coming and letting you know. Silently thanking him, he then leaves the room, only for Maxim to step back into the room. “Did he say anything to you?” he asked. You nod, and this makes Maxim scowl slightly. “Anything rude or vulgar?” he asks again. You shake your head this time, becoming confused as to why he was suddenly so protective. “Good. We will begin this round shortly, and I intend to finish it in our favor.”

Maxim then went to lay in a separate room, keeping his eyes on you. He must have already set up all his E.D.Ds because normally he'd be in another room. Gunshots and explosions rang out per usual all over the scenario. You used to flinch at these, but not anymore once you got used to it. The first time you were here you thought they were using actual bullets, something Harry forgot to tell you. The pain back then was unbearable, but now your pain tolerance was really high.

Or so you thought.

As Mark passed in front of you, a bullet came straight through the window, initially aimed to injure him. But it hit you right in the face instead, directly between the eyes. The impact rendered you Down But Not Out, and this sent Maxim into a frenzy. He then rushed to peek out the window and shot at the person who shot the bullet. It was Timur, and Maxim was even more furious once he found out. “Ты глупая сука! Ты выстрелил Y/N в чертово лицо!” Maxim roared. You watched him rush out of the room through blurry vision as Mark then helped you up, moving you to a safer spot. He tended to your wounds and soon enough, the round was declared over.

Mark handed you to Gustave, you checked for any injuries other than the fake bullet you took to the face. “I’ll take you to the infirmary for further treatment. Hold onto my waist, you’re a bit too dizzy to walk on your own.” Gustave said. Nodding, you reach your still bound hands to remove the tape from your mouth. “Who shot me?” you ask. “It was Timur. He was fixing to aim at me but he ended up shooting you instead. Sorry.” Mark said, apologizing. “It’s fine, you didn’t know he was aiming at you…I hope.” you say as you wrap an arm around Gustave’s waist to hold yourself up. Mark nodded, and you all made your way out.

And once you did, you saw Maxim and Timur arguing just outside. “Maybe next time you should pay attention better, сука!” you heard Maxim yell. Timur simply threw a punch now out of anger, effectively causing Maxim’s nose to bleed profusely. Maxim did the same, and soon enough the two were beating each other up. “Hey! What are you two doing to each other?!” Gustave yelled. Mark rushed to go help the others pull them apart, and you couldn’t do anything to make them stop because of the state you were in. They both turned to look at Gustave, and their eyes filled with horror once they saw you had quite obviously seen them fighting. “You two have been fighting for months! Quel est le problème?!” Olivier yelled.

Maxim and Timur broke out of everyone’s arms, looking down and now refusing to look at you. “It is none of your concern. We will deal with it later.” Timur said. Now his tone was oddly chilling, and it made you upset. “Would you talk about it with me?” you ask, making sure your tone was gentle. They stayed silent before looking at each other, giving each other a nod, before then looking down at the ground again. “Gilles, Saif, help me get them to the infirmary. Make sure to hold onto their arms and keep them separated.” Gustave ordered. Gilles and Saif then came behind them, holding their arms behind their backs as you all made your way to the infirmary. Olivier followed along of course, just to help with some of the workload.

Upon arrival, you were then treated for your injuries by Gustave himself meanwhile Mina and Olivier treated both Maxim and Timur. “You know we’ll have to tell Harry about this. It’s been going on for months and the two of you have no intention of stopping.” Mina said, looking over at you. “And all your fighting came with a casualty.” Olivier said, glaring at Maxim as he treated his nose and face. “Maxim and I will discuss it with Harry then. This does not concern you all.” Timur said curtly, causing Mina to just sigh and shake her head once she was done with him. “Au contraire. But if you are really this adamant you don’t need to tell us, we won’t press further. I’ll leave Y/N here to rest. You two are finished now, so go ahead and see Harry.” Gustave said.

He, Olivier, and Mina then stepped out to leave you alone with Timur and Maxim. “Come here.” you command, breaking the tense silence. The two silently and reluctantly stand up, walking over to the bed you were sitting on. “Now spill.” you command once more. “Maxim and I are intensely attracted to you. We have been fighting over you and every time you were here was when we would be calm.” Timur said. “And I lost my composure when I found out it was Timur that had shot you. I wanted to kill him for hurting you.” Maxim said. “You could have told me. You didn’t have to fight each other over me.” you say. “We know that now…” Timur said.

You remain silent, now having to make up your mind for how you felt about them. You did have feelings for the both of them, and now since they’ve kinda revealed they felt the same for you, it was a bit confusing. And while being a bit irritated that instead of talking it out like the grown men they were, they decided to fight each other instead. “Are you mad..?” Timur asked softly. Your eyes flick over to him and you sigh softly, “I’m not mad. I’m just a bit irritated and disappointed. I like the two of you, and I don’t want you two to keep fighting. We’ll have to work on this, because I’m not dating one over the other.

“You want to be with the two of us?” They both asked.

“I do. But we can’t be together if you keep this up.” you say.

The two then looked at each other before looking back at you. “We’ll work on it. We promise.” Maxim said. “Do you truly promise?” you ask. “Yes, we promise.” Timur chimed. “Good. Now turn off the light and lay down with me, I know you’re all sore.” you command. Maxim goes to turn off the light while Timur gets into the bed next to you, pulling you right up against him to make some extra room for Maxim, who then comes on next to you. “We’re still really sorry for seeing us like that.” Maxim said. “I’ll forgive you. Hush, and sleep.” you say, wrapping your arms around him.

#r6s #rainbow six siege #r6s x reader #rainbow six siege x reader #r6s kapkan #maxim basuda #kapkan x reader #r6s glaz #timur glazkov #glaz x reader #slight angst #fluff #x reader #x reader angst #x reader fluff #r6s x reader angst #r6s x reader fluff #r6s spetsnaz

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sandraharissa · 7 months

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So ever since my first watching I noticed the smoke in that scene and was like, ok so Silco and Vi are not really seeing each other, but I was still ok with it cos the symbolism still works. However now that I think about it I wish they just actually had them see each other.

I remember some comments about how them not seeing each other is kinda helping the scene, cos Vi seeing Silco with Jinx should motivate her even further to ignore her safety and rush towards them, but I’m still in the opposite camp.

You see, to me the meaning of the scene is essentially Silco and Vi reliving leaving/meeting Powder and this even further reinforcing their positions and views on each other. We got Silco finding Jinx when she’s in need and taking her with him, we’ve got Jinx feeling like she’s abandoned by Vi and Vi indeed leaving the vicinity temporarily, and we’ve got Vi trying to rush back but being prevented by enforcers. So that’s quite the potent scene and I still get the impression that we can assume the characters experienced it as such, or at least the editing really suggests that. Without necessarily needing to know that the other is behind the fog Silco can still blame what happened on enforcers (so Cait and Vi by association) and see the scene as 'I need to be there for Jinx to protect her (from them)' or even as Vi abandoning Jinx all over again, meanwhile Vi can blame it on Silco and see it as him taking Jinx away from her all over again in a 'if I failed to get through to her or get to her then she's still completely Silco's' sorta way. But then why not simply commit to this fully and just have them see each other? Especially cos moving forward the creators kinda wrote it as tho Vi did see Silco with Jinx. She’s quite chill with Cait in her room and is very melancholic and reminisces about Powder and her one mistake that she has to make right and I’m like ‘how do you even know she’s still alive?’. And she comes up with this plan to take down Silco and his empire and that that’s how she’ll get her sister back and I’m like ‘how do you even know she’s still alive?’.

To me it’s believable that needing to stay with injured Cait, a platoon of enforcers, a blockade that turned into a semi-land mine field and Silco and his goons and the fact that she can project the blame for everything onto Silco make it ok enough for me that she didn’t go back for Jinx. I actually think her being mad that Silco’s with her but at least knowing that she’ll live is more likely to result in her being pissed but deciding against doing anything than if she doesn’t even know if her sister will survive and still does nothing.

Vi is smarter/not as hot-headed as most ppl think imo and she understands that all that happened in the scene was maintaining of the status quo when it comes to her/Jinx/Silco and that she can’t do anything more in the moment and so instead shifts her focus solely on playing the long game of getting rid of Silco and all his influence as a be-all end-all solution.

Ig the tldr is that I think it's more in character for Vi to not got back for Jinx if she can tell that she's gonna be alright even if she's pissed about Silco being with her rather than if she doesn't even know if her sister will survive. I also absolutely love the mad look taking over Vi's features after Silco turns around and starts walking away so it's almost a crime she's not reacting to it but instead is supposed to just be pissed in general ig.

#vi #silco #arcane #my:arcane #team jinx #vi and jinx

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saltminerising · 5 months

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re: post/734821757300686848/

i'd like to state that there's also a difference in content having racist themes / tropes / negative stereotypes / etc. in it, vs. the people themselves being racist. i feel like that is an important distinction to make. you can absolutely accidentally write in racist content without being racist yourself. mistakes happen. staff is doing what they can to fix their errors; in fact, they're being very good about being transparent, and trying to amend the problematic content in their story/lore. but calling them "racist" seems a bit too far, and people insisting that they're still just awful people no matter what they do is an unhelpful and dismissive mindset.

yes, they should own up to their mistakes. yes, they should fix or rewrite the lore. this isn't about being "coddled," it's about realizing that perhaps not everyone's intention is to be directly hurtful, dehumanizing, or othering to any type of group. their content can be unintentionally harmful without them being a terrible person who condones racism and the horrible things that ideology stands for. there are people genuinely acting as though staff cannot redeem themselves from this offense, and that's such a negative, vitriolic mindset that does not allow growth, that does not account for the fact that they are people too, who can make mistakes. let people learn without tearing them down in the process. that doesn't help. if anything, it discourages it. positive reinforcement truly goes a long way.

there is not a single person who hasn't accidentally hurt someone else in some way or form. there's nobody who is perfect. does that make you a bad person, who can never recover from what you've done, not ever, despite how hard you try to, despite any effort you may give in rectifying that? i'm not here to say "staff didn't do anything wrong, uwu why are you all bullying them." no. they did do things wrong. but what matters is that they're making efforts to fix those things to the best of their abilities, with the feedback they have gotten from poc voices or those representing them. in light of that, shouldn't we give them the benefit of the doubt, rather than acting like they are the "villain" in this story, some faceless, greedy corporation who cares nothing about the feelings of their userbase? that all they want is money, that they do not take into account criticism? that they meant all that harm and hurt? it is very clear it was not their intention or their goal.

yes, people have every right to be upset and hurt over the story. that is so fair. it is so extremely valid. but... can we advocate for just a little more empathy on both sides here? i just think that calling them "racist" is an oversimplification of a very complex topic. it's not so black-and-white. it's grey, and it's okay to navigate those waters with a critical eye. but it is unnecessary to throw out terms that are so accusatory, and influence people to get riled up. you cannot claim "racist" and "racism" aren't loaded terms that don't immediately cause upset from both sides of the equation when these words are used.

again, i'm not advocating for censorship. or sugar-coating, or coddling, or what have you. i'm personally advocating for empathy above all else. only by fostering open communication can we really understand and grow as a community, rather than doing what we can to dismiss others, throw blame, tear each other down. respect and compassion is the best way to move forwards, from both sides.

for instance, i very recently came across someone on the forums who was using an ableist joke. and so i took the time to privately message them, informing and educating them. no blame. no anger. merely pointing things out in a civil manner in the case they did not know. they took it very well, they edited their post, because they really were just ignorant that it was something hurtful after all. sometimes, a situation can be solved with escalating it further. how would that person have reacted, if i had immediately jumped to calling them ableist instead? it is one thing to say their content is ableist. it is another to point fingers and blame, and say that they are, too. it would've done nothing but hurt them, shut down their want to be better, discouraged them from even trying. perhaps they still would have, even so. but you cannot deny there would have been an amount of hurt that was unnecessary to create in such a situation. does that make sense? (/genuine)

that is all, really. thank you for reading if you did. and if not, that is perfectly fine as well. apologies if i've upset anyone with my words, genuinely. because again, people are right to be hurt and upset. and really, this is my own two cents on the matter, and you are perfectly free to disregard what i've to say. after all, although i am poc myself, i'm but a single person in a sea of many, so i don't expect my words to hold that much weight. it just makes me sad to see everyone so angry and divided on this topic, rather than us all coming to a mutual understanding, as a community, but most of all, as people.

regardless if you disagree or not, i thank you anyways. please, take care of yourselves. and stay safe.

#submission #long post #ancient mystery

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moodymisty · 1 year

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Five Times You Flirted With Wrecker, And The Time He Flirted Back - Ch 2

< Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 >

Author's Note: More fluff more fluff, next chapter coming soon

Summary: Of course out of all the clones in the galaxy to fall head over heels in love with, you pick the one that just thinks you're doing a flip.

Relationships: Wrecker/Fem!Reader

Story-wide Warnings: Eventual NSFW, Fluff, Shy!Reader, Friends to lovers, Awkward flirting, Pining, one instance of a drunk clone being a little pushy but nothing extreme, Reader is too shy and Wrecker is too oblivious, Reader is vaguely one or twice described as being ‘nerdy’ but no details, Size difference, Vaginal sex, Unprotected sex,

Word count: 1533

Ao3 Link

You've got to be joking.

One hop, two hops; Nope, still out of reach.

None of the numerous lifts are around for you to use, which makes the entire situation all the more painstaking. And a little embarrassing, honestly. It's not even that high up- it's just so tantalizingly out of reach. Climbing on one of the wings is absolutely out of the question; With them stuck upright in the landing position, it would take quite a bit of skill to do so, alongside the fear of falling. But of course all of the manual lifts are currently being used to maintenance the other ships, so you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Time to call in reinforcements.

You've never asked any of them for help before, so you hope your predicament is at least amusing enough to be worth the effort. After all, it is their ship you’re doing a maintenance report on. Hopefully this time Tech won’t get in trouble for unauthorized modifications again, but you’ll have to wait and see.

It also doesn’t help that he refuses to let any of the regs touch his pride and joy, so you’re here.

Dammit Tech; You think. You didn’t sign up for this type of work.

“Uh…Hey?”

Turning around while stuck precariously up on a short ladder you see Wrecker, hefting around two crates of ammunition. You thought Tech had asked him to do that yesterday, but you won't comment on the fact.

He's just who you need. In, more than a few regards.

“Oh, hey Wrecker! Do you mind helping me out with something?”

Plopping the crates he’d been carrying on the ground he comes closer, putting his fists on his hips as he looks at you standing dangerously wobbly on the very top rung of the ladder. One bad move and you’ll fall right over. He abandons the sentence he had been speaking, presumably to ask what in the galaxy you’re doing, to instead quickly agree to help.

You don’t know why Tech complains that he isn’t helpful, he always seems to help you whenever he’s able. Even sometimes when he isn’t.

“Sure! What’cha need help with?”

“I need check something on the top of the ship, but all the lifts are being used for the LA-ATs. Mind giving me a hand?” Wrecker laughs, watching you climb down from the short ladder you’d managed to steal. Wrecker looks at you with a wide smirk, finding your predicament endlessly amusing.

"Hard life being short, eh?"

Short in comparison to him, sure.

You can't help but roll your eyes at him, crossing your arms. Wrecker gets a good laugh before he gets into an almost kneel to put him at shoulder height with you, spreading his hands outward. You’re surprised he hasn’t tried to once again ask why you’re doing it in the first place, though more than likely he just assumes it’s because they’re in trouble in some sort of way. Not uncommon.

“Here, I’ll lift ya up.”

Seems like a sound enough plan, though you can’t help but feel a little nervous at the idea of being up so high. But you still nod and take a step closer to him anyways, and Wrecker places his hands around your waist and hefts you easily off the ground, as high as he can reach. However you still can’t view the top of the ship, no matter how much you try to impossibly stretch your neck to take a peek. Your datapad flops around in your hand as you attempt to position yourself, but still no.

You look back down at Wrecker, who was actually looking away from you until you start speaking to him again.

“No dice...I still can’t reach; Can you raise me up any higher?”

With a remarkable amount of ease he puts your feet back on solid ground, with not even so much as the tiniest waiver of strain.

"Here, let’s try this."

He fully lowers down to one knee, and you cautiously step closer unsure of what he has in mind, until his arms suddenly wrap around your thighs. He grips around you enough that your thighs squeeze together tight, letting out a yelp and leaning forward enough that you put your hands on his shoulders to avoid toppling.

It doesn't help with matters that it's incredibly obvious he's face level with your groin, as well as the fact that you're effectively sitting on his forearms. But with the added height you’re finally able to view the top of the ship, doing everything you can in one shot while Wrecker's arms and hands tighten just underneath the crease of your ass.

It’s a position that doesn’t exactly inspire the purest of thoughts, for sure.

It’s not the first time you’ve thought about him manhandling you to such a degree, or gripping you tight with his hands, so it’s probably a situation that later, will keep you up late at night for a bit.

But you want to get this over as soon as possible, as besides the fact that Wrecker is so close to you, you notice a few groups of regs giving you both quite the odd looks. Not surprising, but still more than a little embarrassing.

What is impressive however is you haven't budged even a tad in his grip, considering how much of an inefficient way this is to hold someone. Normally you’d slip through a normal person’s arms with no leverage, but with Wrecker, he’s strong enough that he doesn’t even break a sweat.

“Ok, I’m all good!”

And with the same amount of control he picked you up with Wrecker slowly lowers you to the ground, putting your feet onto the floor as gentle as he possibly can.

I hope my face doesn't look as hot as it feels right now...

You feel like you're gripping the datapad in your hands with a vice grip, trying to put all your nervousness into tensing your hands instead of it showing on your face.

“Thanks for the help Wrecker, you really saved my behind.”

And were alsograbbing it until just now...

Wrecker is kind; You think, and if you’ve inconvenienced him he'd never say, as he smiles while one hand stays on his hip. The other brushes over the top of his head, looking away before back at you.

“No problem! Always ready to help ya.”

He does loose the smile a bit, and instead sports a curious look as he glances towards the Marauder before back at you. "So... What were you tryin’ to do anyways?" You shake your datapad in your hands, pursing your lips.

“Tech’s denied every single mandatory inspection for the past three months, and so now I’m here; Because it needs to be done before you guys leave and apparently for some reason I’m the only one that can do it.”

More like no one else wants to be near the 99’s… Except me.

You doubt that he even wants you to be doing this, but at least he’s less prickly enough to allow it to be done. Wrecker snorts, and you smile at how adorable he sounds while his shoulders shake with his typical loud laughter. It’s always infectious, and only seems to get louder as he makes you happy as well.

“Yeah, sounds like Tech alright. He’s all up in a twist trying to get things done before we ship out again.” Wrecker, always with the carefree attitude. Your fingers finally loosen their grip on your datapad, as Wrecker comes forward and gently claps a hand on your shoulder. You can’t help but smile up at him, trying to ignore a passing group of troopers giving The Marauder the stink eye.

“I should probably head out now; I think we’ve made enough of a scene out here.” Wrecker looks around behind him, crossing his arms across his chest and laughing at the same group of troopers.

“Ehh don’t worry ‘bout them. They’re just jealous. They won’t pick on you with me around anyways.” You smile up at him.

I was more so referring to the scene I make becausebeing around you makes me turn into a boiledfish from howhopelessly infatuated I amwith you...

"Thanks for everything Big guy; See you later? And remember to tell Tech I didn’t touch anything important."

Kriff, you hadn't meant to use a nickname. After it slips from your lips you purse them tight, trying to play it off. He doesn't seem to mind however, and just gives you a thumbs up.

"Oh, uh, Yeah! I will! See ya."

The hanger entrance feels like it’s an impossible distance away, scurrying as fast as you can with your datapad still in your hands. Once you’re out of sight, you sigh and push your hair from your face.

Kriff, you really need to learn to deal with this. Maybe now that they’re going to be deployed for a bit you’ll have the chance to figure out how to tell him how you feel, though the minute you think about doing so, your fingers tightly grip the edge of your datapad.

You’ll figure it out, gather the gusto; Just need a little time.

#Wrecker/Reader #tbb x reader #the bad batch wrecker x reader #the bad batch x reader #wrecker x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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