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If courage isn’t the absence of fear but doing the right thing regardless of it, maybe confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity but knowing you have real worth despite it

#this isn't made for writing insp but it sure is useful for it

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messin around follow me on twitter / instagram / patreon / shop / leave a tip

#8pxl i love your work

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Idrk where my Things You Said project is going, but I'm thinking 3 peggy, 3 steve, then switching to a diff couple. Just because I don't want to be known for writing weird first person point of view for like one ship...

#But anyways to gain popularity I am doing requests until I get like a decent chunk of followers #i'm vain #sunny #nc

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Things you said too quietly.

It's no secret, Steve. I always adored you. You were the only man who seemed to give a damn about respect. And that isn't a commentary on what others thought a woman's place was. You respected everyone equally, as if you'd lived in a perfect and unbiased world. Even if you didn't, you were damn stubborn enough to try and make it such. And that was so rare in any kind of person. I'd lie if I could say I wasn't head over heels in love with my dear friend Steve Rogers.

And I knew you loved me too. You'd said so once in a while. The first time, in your sleep. Barely a whisper of a sentence. Sharing barracks is a little bit awkward for people's resting habits. You sighed, so I assumed you were awake. I shouldn't have, you're secretly known for soft little nonsense sentences. The thing is, it was a convincing sigh of distress. I asked you what was wrong, and you'd responded. "I love ya, Peg." A secret. Okay, honestly? I don't know that that's what you'd said. You mumble in your sleep, everyone knows it. Not much of what you grumble about can be made sense of. I wondered if I should pry in the morning, but I'd forgotten when I awoke. Regardless, war was more important.

We had so much we wanted to say, and all the time in the world. When we had these opportunities, we remained silent. I'm sure it was known to you and I both that what we wanted had no place on the battlefield, let alone in the shadows of a Nazi training camp we're infiltrating. Love is hard, in war. It's so visible in the way we treat each other. Our whole unit - The commandos, there was a lot of unspoken love among all of us. The thing is, it doesn't entirely have to be spoken. Our communication was the laughter over a beer. Shared goods near a fire at camp.

You'd once whispered to Dugan - You boys were always swapping stories and thoughts. Honestly, being among the group felt like being at a childhood sleepover. There might've been more gunfire, and comparatively less hair braiding, but there was a similar kinship.

Whatever it was, you warmed Dugan's face considerably. He immediately looked at me, as if I was in on it. I most certainly wasn't. The implication in his eyes almost embarrassed me. His face was gleeful, and you shoved him over, as if he'd done some exact thing you'd told him not to do. Whatever it was, it made me steaming mad. You boys with your secrets - My mind immediately went into the gutter, and I one-hundred percent blame you. I stood up from the group and returned to my tent early - But it was all in good fun, wasn't it? I still wish I knew what you'd said. At the time I imagined it was awful, but you've never been the type. It very likely could've been sweet.

I wish I could say I had more stories, but you weren't the type to be quiet. Anytime you had something to voice, it was said out-loud. That's another thing that I'd adored about you. You never had anything to hide.

#StevePeggy #Steggy #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Marvel #things you said project #spf ss #spf aw #wc 500

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Things you said through your teeth.

extremely vague mentions of ww2 holocaust related things.

If there's one thing I knew about you, Steve, it was your passion for standing up and doing the right thing. If there were ever anything else, it was your hatred for those who refused to do the same. Those who would do the opposite.

"How can he just sit there and do nothing." You had once seethed. You were talking about a general who refused to create a rescue plan. For two reasons, you're a better man than anyone at that camp. You refused to take "No" for an answer. And you denied yourself the satisfying fistfight you knew you wanted from the general.

You went to rescue those agents in the face of Nazi terror anyways. Young Steve. Steve who was full of piss and vinegar. Little- Well, Big Shit Steve. That's what your name was to anyone who stood in your way.

Maybe you always had some rage in you. A burning spark that lit at the opportunity of standing in the way of the oppressors of freedom, bigots, Nazis, really any number of evil words. Some days you'd be raring to fight. Mouth full of patriotic speech and fist full of fury. Others, you could barely speak of the horrors we'd seen at war together.

There was a different type of camp we'd set free. We'd had a long day already, and to find what they'd been doing left you speechless. Without energy. All you'd told anyone that day was that it was going to be okay. "We've got you now," you'd soothed some of the victims.

It was dark of the next day before you had any commentary on what you'd seen. It was just four words. I had nothing to say back. I was too broken. "I'll kill them all.". It was your darkest hour. You'd seen too much. They had gone too far.

I watched how your heart broke. I was there beside you, and felt the cracks myself. I know you saw me cry. I know I saw you do the same. We never talked about that day. But it changed us.

Seething is a visual word. I can see it now - I can see the vicious energy in your eyes, and in the way your breathing changes. You were yelling at your commander. You never had a sense for authority, did you? He wasn't sending you where you wanted to go. To the fight you so badly wanted to die in. (That's how it always seemed, anyways. I have no judgement. You had your point to prove, I had mine.) The last thing you said to that man was that you'd go wherever you damn well must to carry this war to the finish line.

I'd ask how either of us survived that war, but for the longest time, it seemed like we hadn't. You were always jumping into uncertainty, off the cliff and towards the danger. And that's what we all love about you, Steve. What I love about you.

#Steggy #Steve Peggy #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Marvel #things you said project #spf ss #spf aw #wc 500

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The reason enemies to lovers is so attractive a trope is that it’s the one dynamic that demands full truth and unconditional love of both parties and really that’s what we all want; and the reason enemies to lovers is such a despised and rejected trope is that that’s also exactly what we are all afraid of.

#i feel like also personally it'd be VERY sickening to fall in love with someone i hate #so that might be fun to write

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Things you said at 1:00A.M.

You said to me, Steve, You said “You’re worth more than they know.” You said this in the dead of night, in the barracks. I thought you were saying it to yourself, perchance a private motivational message, but you later clarified that to me when I inquired. I shouldn’t have, but I was curious. You said, “Don’t let them get in the way of what you need to do.” And though I have never truly needed the affirmation, You said so anyway, and the confidence I have in myself soared a bit higher that day. It still does, I believe. Whenever I need it, You’re there in my head, reminding me. It'll be their downfall.

Once, you spoke to me in a dream. You said “I can’t stay.” And you melded into the background. I awoke, frozen in place in my bed. I so desperately wanted to chase after you, but it was impossible. You ceased to exist two years ago. I’m alone. In an attempt to fall back asleep, I imagine you apologizing for scaring me like that. It’s okay, I need a reminder sometimes.

I remember very clearly returning late from a mission. Steve, I was so tired. Exhausted. But you remained wide awake, gleeful from the successful operation. It took us four hours to take down that base, but you were ready for the next one. I suppose if I’d taken the opportunity, I too would would have wanted to end the war as quickly as possible. With a strength like yours. You lifted me up on your back, Steve, and you simply said “Just a little further.” I don’t remember much after that, I know I fell asleep. I woke up in my uniform still the next day, after all.

Do you remember staying up to stargaze our last night in Cherbourg? We were leaning on each other among the packed boxes that were set to be picked up the next morning. You said something I could barely hear. When I asked you to clarify, you brushed it off. “It’s not important right now.” I knew you were trying not to ruin the mood. I know you said “How can anyone do so wrong in a place like this?” Or something to that effect. I couldn’t hear it perfectly. I can’t imagine you said evil, but I know that’s how it felt to you. I was bitter too. I let you change the subject, pointing out Orion’s belt. They were most prominent stars in the sky.

I can’t forget to mention the first time we met after hours. You had a direct order you needed to disobey. You had to rescue as many men as you possibly could, and who would I have been to stop you? You were a force, Steve. You said “I have to do right by him. How else am I going to be worth his time? His death?” You were speaking of Erskine. The fire in your eyes was unmistakable determination. You had a point to prove. Before you left Stark and I, you said very specifically, “Thanks Peg.” This wouldn’t have meant anything if it wasn’t the first time you called me that. You picked it up from Howard, I’m sure. You must’ve been tired, because you corrected yourself later.

#Steggy #StevePeggy #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Marvel #spf ss #spf aw #things you said project #wc 500

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People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them and their response is “you’re safe with me” - that’s intimacy.

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo

#oh this put into words why i like writing lead ups or after the facts or pauses....

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3

This isn't where Peggy should be. She should be with her friends, getting wine-drunk and wasting the night away in celebration of S.H.I.E.L.D. being official. She never was one for intoxication, It only appealed to her when she didn't want to feel things. Now of all times, she wants to more than usual. To talk, and to catch up with someone near and dear to her. That someone would be Steve.

Peggy's standing in front of his grave. There's no body below it, she knows that. Steve was never found. But this is.. Well, it's something at least.

"Hey, Steve. It's been a while." Peggy starts. It all feels kind of silly at the moment, being in America, commemorating her achievements without him. Nothing has ever made complete sense without Steve, not since he went into the ice.

"I wanted to talk to you. I know you won't mind." And with that, she'll take a seat next to the grave. She's holding a rose, twirling the stem between her fingers absentmindedly. It was taken from the ceremony. She's not usually a thief, but one rose isn't going to bother anyone.

"I think you’d be impressed with my work so far.” She pauses for a moment in thought. “Our work.” 

It’d be impossible for Peggy to leave out how much her coworkers and friends have helped her along this world-saving journey her life has been since Steve’s been gone.Over the next few minutes, she begins to fill him in on what she means. Her work with Howard, with Jarvis. Her friends Angie and Sousa.

Peggy goes quiet for a while. She didn’t know Steve for very long. She imagines it’s very odd that she’s talking to him as if they were friends for years. There are still so many things she wants to ask, so many things she wants to say. But coming out here now, it hurts. It's been cathartic in some ways, yes, but she can feel the tears on the edges of her eyes, waiting to fall.

"I'm supposed to move on now. I've taken a proper amount of time to grieve.” She waits again, half knowing what he'd say in response. Probably something like, ‘please do’? She isn't entirely sure. He'd want her to be okay. And she thinks she's getting there, but what happened doesn't seem like something she will ever be okay with.

“I'm not going to forget, Steve. I'll keep you in mind. Moving forward and moving on are two different things, aren't they?” Of course, this is still long before Steve can ever respond. It's not like she knows anything like that. All she knows is that Steve was good, and now he's gone. All she can do is hope she's done right by him. 

She stares at the sky. It's full of stars, she recognizes a few constellations. Mainly Orion’s belt. It's always bright this time of night, not many city lights around Steve's grave to blind the stars out. “You'd be happy here.”

#steggy #stevepeggy #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Margaret Carter #spf ss #spf aw #marvel #wc 500

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2

Clint's barely thinking. He's drunk. Who knew shots could down a guy so hard? ...He knew. He knew, and didn't feel like holding back. His head knocks against the wall behind him -- clumsy. He'd move himself away from the wall if his mind wasn't so busy figuring out how to unbutton a shirt. His concentration is completely focused on Bucky, who has him pinned. Whatever his reasons, Clint doesn't remember or care right now. He just wants the guy's shirt off, not much thinking is going on beyond that.

Buck tugs at Clint's shirt. There's no buttons, it's gotta be pulled over his head. Clint rolls his eyes and takes it off himself. He's a little stumbly, but Bucky steadies him.

Each kiss is almost too much. Everything that's happening is fueled by impatience and alcohol, and ...maybe Clint was looking to score tonight. Maybe Bucky was too.

Buck pulls him away from the wall at last, only to guide him to the bed, pushing him down gently. He's climbed up and sitting in Clint's lap. Clint goes along with it all, learning up to reciprocate. Each kiss is getting slower by the moment. Clint's missing cues. He holds back a yawn. He's more exhausted than he feels, but he's awake enough for this.

That's the last thing he can remember before passing the fuck out. He sleeps like a rock for about six hours, and when he wakes up, he has a truly awful hangover. He's actually still a little drunk, but not enough that it takes control of him.

He realizes what he was doing and sits up immediately, looking around the room for Bucky. He's gone. Clint is just full of feelings like, Oh fuck I fell asleep on Bucky, aw no he's probably pissed, and, Dammit he’s gone. He can't find his phone. It's not on his table, and his pants are on the floor, empty.

Clint figures the phone might be by the door, so he leaves his bed and tugs a pair of sweatpants on. As he passes the living room, he's startled by the vague shape of someone on his couch. Then it clicks.

"Barnes?"

Bucky looks over, very casual in the dark. It's a little unnerving to Clint. "Yea?" He's quiet. Was reading something on his phone.

"Why the fuck are you on my couch?" He asks. He's lost interest in looking for his phone.

"Because you fell asleep. And you're piss drunk."

"Aw, yeah, my bad. Thought I could keep going. I guess tequila makes me sleepy." Clint reaches out and pulls Bucky up. Bucky seems... hesitant, now.

"Why aren't you moving. C'mon, just come lay down." Clint gestures at him with the universal sign to get the fuck up.

"Do you still want to?" He asks. Clint knows what he means.

"...I mean, I can, but I don't have to. I'd rather sleep now and do something in the morning."

"Okay." He seems more convinced, and gets himself off the couch. Clint still holds onto him by the arm, leading him back to the bedroom.

"Protip, if someone brings you to their bed, you are allowed to fall asleep in it. It's an invitation."

"Barton, I don't want sex tips from the guy who literally fell asleep during it." At that, Clint pointedly takes his hearing aids out -- a silent 'shut the fuck up', before pulling Bucky into bed next to him. He sleepily kisses Bucky before closing his eyes and passing back out.

Bucky's left awake in the room, maybe thinking about how it should be impossible to be this charmed by Clint fucking Barton.

#winterhawk #clint barton #bucky barnes #marvel #spf ss #spf aw #there's no sex #Honestly can't really write it so i just write thirst stuff instead #wc 500

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1

“Do you know that I love you?”

It’s a simple question, but it bears heavy significance to Peggy. She asks this every day. She’ll never stop asking. Not until Steve has it in his head that it’s true, that he’s loved. She’s promised herself never to let the opportunity go. Never again is she going to not tell him. It must always seem out of the blue to him, but she has a habit of asking whenever she’s reminded. Currently, he’s just reading a newspaper, and she’s sitting across from him, legs over his lap comfortably. She’s got her head resting in a hand, and she’s smiling at him sweetly.

He looks up from his paper to meet her gaze, raising an eyebrow.

“You tell me you do every day.” He says. He's smiley too, but he's good at hiding it behind his paper.

“But Steve, do you know?” Peggy presses importance into the sound of that last word. This is dramatic, yet effective. Steve puts down his reading and pulls her just a little closer, an arm around her waist.

“Peggy, How can I not know with you looking at me like that?” He asks. It's a fair point. She'll take advantage of the closeness and drape an arm over his shoulders.

“I do love you.” She states. He knows, she can tell he knows. There’s a sympathetic look on his face that shows he’s known for a long time.

“I love you too Peg. Always have, always will.”

#Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Steggy #StevePeggy #Marvel #spf ss #sorry i'm chaotic #spf aw #why? well i heard abt endgame and i'm bitter

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Decisions, Decisions

Ships: Clint Barton / Bucky Barnes Chapters: 1 [complete] Word Count: 4123 Summary: Clint Barton and Bucky Barnes are on a stakeout together, thanks to Janet's amazing leadership skills. (Love u Jan). Clint's kind of annoying, Bucky's kind of awkward, it's a whole thing. Can they still get the work done while Clint's being a total disaster? 

Clint Barton does not make many good decisions. In fact, most of his good decisions have been made for him. From becoming a bad guy, to turning Avenger, to taking on an apprentice. That is, if Kate Bishop could even be called that. She’s been a better Hawkeye than him from day one, and he didn’t even know her back then. These events and the choices he made have been heavily influenced by the people around him.

He wouldn't call working with Bucky Barnes a decision. It feels more like bad luck than anything else. He's not great for conversation, the mutual ex-girlfriend thing kinda makes it weird, and sometimes Clint’s not sure how close the banter is to flirting. He’s lost track of where the line is. He isn't going to complain though, things could be worse.

Read the rest on Ao3

#Winterhawk #Clint Barton #Bucky Barnes #Marvel 616 #whats up its 2 am and i don't give a darn #(actually i do) #(Gonna queue this for later) #spf ff #spf aw

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Conversation

Ships: Clint Barton / Bucky Barnes Chapters: 1 [complete] Word Count: 1050

Clint isn't nervous. He's not! He's just got a small issue with his heart racing and his forehead sweating. He swears it's unrelated to the kisses he's sharing with Bucky. No, those are good. Great, actually.

So what if he's having domestic feelings? That’s a normal thing everyone has for the person they regularly make out with. It's been like this for a few months now. The secret meetings on rooftops, in his kitchen at 4 am, and even on mission a few times... Clint can't help himself.

He can't fuck this up. But he wants to, so so bad. Not so much fuck it up, but change it up. They have a very unspoken agreement about this,  it's strictly causal. Bucky pulls himself away from Clint. Shit, he's noticed.

"Out with it." Cold. Clint grins at him, and leans in to kiss to Buck's lips, but is held just an inch away.

Read the rest on Ao3

#Winterhawk #Clint Barton #Bucky Barnes #Marvel 616 #hey guys first post.... ew #spf ff #spf aw