anon-confesses

[anon-confesses]

[anon-confesses]

I’m falling behind on schoolwork and I feel empty all the time and everyday while I walk to school I pray a car will hit me

.

#sounds like a terrible time anon :( #also like there is probably an underlying issue? like something that makes keeping up with schoolwork more difficult for you than most kids #like. school is stressful for everyone sometimes but tbh suicidal ideation (and wishing that you somehow become dead IS just that!!) #is NOT normal and things do NOT need to be like this #please talk to a counselor or study advisor or other trusted adult who might be able to help you! #and take care of yourself. your own mental health is a l w a y s more important than academic success! #good luck anon! #secret #confession #anonymous

[anon-confesses]

Hey, good ol' Ass Backwards. It's me, the writer who wrote that OC insert All 4 One fanfic all those years ago. Yeah, THAT writer.

I'm a Playwriting/Screenwriting major now in a pretty good college, and I'm doing pretty fucking well for myself, so SUCK IIIIITTTT :3

.

#good for you!! love the confidence love the chasing your passions #secret #anonymous #confession

[anon-confesses]

My friend hasn't responded to my Discord messages despite being online both there and Tumblr-- and very active, might I add. It's been over a week since we talked. I get I'm not the "center of the universe" and "not everything is about me," but is it so bad that I feel neglected? Is it so bad that it's triggering my RSD?

Idk, I feel like I'm some entitled prick for feeling like this.

.

#getting actively ignored by a friend SUCKS anon!! #like. it's OK if they don't have time or spoons! that can happen! #but it would be nice if they could at least let you know if that's the case. idk :( #they might not be doing it on purpose/might not realize how it affects you also. just putting that out there #in any case i hope you've had a chance to talk since! #secret #anonymous #confession

[anon-confesses]

to anon that wants to blow their brains out but wont because of their little sister:

I'm not sure the age difference between you and her but me and my older sibling have a 4 year difference. We grew up in an abusive household and throughout everything they were by my side. I could never thank them enough for what they sacrificed just to stay with me. Currently they have not moved away from our parents even though they could, they're staying here for me and one day we plan to leave together. They have attempted to take their life multiple times and I'm so, extremely lucky that it was never successful.

So please, please stay. I'm not your sister but you need to know the gratitude she will have one day because you just stayed despite everything. Please get some help if possible. Because I cannot describe in words how eternally grateful I am that my older sibling is still here with me, and I genuinely wouldn't know what to do without them.

.

#thank you for sharing anon. #i am glad your sibling is there for you and i hope you get to leave together sooner rather than later!! <3 #secret #anonymous #confession #tw suicide

[anon-confesses]

I like to submit asks as an anon because it doesn't trigger my social anxiety but I still get external validation that, yes, I exist.

.

#hey anon! you exist. #i perceive you (albeit anonymously). #secret #anonymous #confession

[anon-confesses]

I need to get this off my chest and I cannot tell this to anyone at all. not even my gf or my best friend or anyone for that matter.

Ok so, even though I'm a lesbian, RK900 from Detroit become human gives me the fanny flutters

That's it have a good day

.

#well! whatever floats your boat my friend #enjoy! #also i probably say this every time but i love getting small/innocent secrets like this. life is rich and life is colorful. thank u. #secret #anonymous #confession #nsfw

[anon-confesses]

I think I’m trans. It’s been a long journey, but it really explains a lot, and I truly think I’d be happier as a boy. I’ve felt this way since I was 8, but I tried to bury it and forget about it. I thought it would be easier that way.

I love this girl- we used to date before (this person manipulated us and emotionally abused us both to turn us against each other, and we ended up breaking up) and I know she still loves me. We’re super close. But the thing is she’s lesbian. I don’t know how to tell her without upsetting her, but I dont want to lead her on. Idk what to do at this point.

.

#you should tell her! #it might upset her but it would upset her more to find out you hid such a core aspect of who you are as a person from her #and also who knows? you wouldnt be the first person to continue their romantic involvement/relationship through coming out as trans! #even if you cannot date again bc of this your friendship would (hopefully!) still grow and become richer from like #trusting in her allowing her to support you through it OR take her space etc #stronger from navigating your needs together!!! #i hope it all works out anon :) #secret #anonymous #confession #lgbt

[anon-confesses]

I want to shoot my brains out but I can't because I can't leave my little sister

.

#if your little sister is what keeps you going - then keep going!! #it can all get better and i hope it does for you soon anon. #and i hope you and your little sister will see happier days together!! #secret #anonymous #confession #tw suicide

[anon-confesses]

It was dark, and there was no one in the kitchen, and I wanted a snack, and I got the snack. Just also ended up holding a knife to my skin and dragging it. Kinda pressing in. There wasn't any blood, but it's now been ~15 minutes and I still feel it stinging. I don't know why it was so simple to do. Nothing happened. I just finished watching a movie and got hungry. Nothing triggered this. I've never used a knife to do anything to myself before. Baby's first knife injury, if you'd even call it that because it really didn't do much. I'm so tempted to go down and take the knife up to my room, but then what. Maybe I can finally call what I do "proper self harm" if I draw blood with a knife. I get that "self harm" is just harming yourself, and there's been bits of blood and smalls scars from which in theory would make me more qualified to, but it's so little. I compare myself to musical figures too much. And I'm too obsessed with blood. I eat the blood from my scabs after picking them. And it would be kind of cool if I was to get blood to appear from my skin from a knife. I'd be able to drink it and make stuff look pretty for a while until it turns bronze. Maybe I'd eventually perform on stage as a musician while I bleed. I know it's horrible when it's other people, but there's an appeal to it, both when it's me and when it's them. But about bringing the knife up to my room, I'm somewhat scared but also tempted to. But not today. It's bedtime.

.

#it is also horrible when it is you. #perhaps moreso! musicians are artists! performers! a lot of what they do is for show and not always real! #do not bring the knife up to your room and do not give in to temptations like these if you can. #something like this very well can and will turn into a slippery slope! #i am sure there are wayyy healthier alternatives out there for whatever it is that's making you want to try it - #whether it's out of curiosity or urge to self harm. #in the kindest way possible please find something else to do. #secret #anonymous #confession #tw self harm

[anon-confesses]

Alright so my problem sounds kind of ridiculous when I say it out loud but. I’m 24, I’m a lesbian, I’m a virgin and I desperately want sex and am also terrified of it. I have some weird associations and religious trauma I’ve been working through in sex therapy, but its going super slow, and I hate the fact that I’m still a virgin more than anything, and I hate when people say “oh, don’t worry you still have time, you’ll find someone!” I’m also extremely averse to dating and refuse to do it despite being horrifically lonely. And not comfortable with random hookups. Which leaves me with little options. Recently I met a dominantrix who specializes in helping people heal their traumas through kink. I met with her and she seemed trustworthy. I have the option of pursuing her services to help me get comfortable with sex. It’s definitely way out of my comfort zone and my friend thinks its a bad idea and that I’m pushing myself too fast into this / that it could retraumatize me. I feel like she’s overreacting but at the same time I understand and have my hesitations too, but I feel like of I don’t do this, I am out of ideas for ways to change my life. And I’m falling into a huge depression when I think about not pursuing this and letting my life continue on as it is. But taking steps towards it, especially now that my friend is not on board, also feels dangerous and nearly impossible. I don’t know what to do.

.

#so there's probably nothing i can tell you that they won't go over in sex therapy #(which by the way it's great that you're seeing a professional about this!!) #but i think at the end of the day it's good to remember that sex is just one of a million things people can do together #it's only as special/as big of a deal/etc. as you make it!! #you are not missing out on some sort of life changing transcendent experience or anything like that. #but i can imagine feeling like you're missing out on SOMETHING since society makes such a big deal about it #and it is absolutely normal to want to explore sex/that side of yourself! and i hope it works out and you enjoy it! #but i do not think a dominatrix/hired professional/etc would be a good first experience. #like nothing against people who do that but i am not sure it is for you. #it will not be a run of the mill sexual experience WHICH i personally would imagine is what you should be looking for at this point #like just. a normal basic sexual experience. learn/experience what sex even is at its most basic form. #before you venture into more ~out there~ things. like people will take YEARS to work up to that sort of stuff!! #my unqualified input aside have you talked to your therapist about this idea? #they will know you AND the subject matter and be better able to advise you :) #good luck anon!! #secret #anonymous #confession #nsfw

[anon-confesses]

ate three meals today for the first time in a couple months. felt nauseous but good

.

#well done!! #i'm sure it was hard but you did it! #i hope you'll be able to keep it up and it starts coming more naturally again :) #secret #anonymous #confession #tw ed

[anon-confesses]

I sometimes feel really alone. My interests are on the more obscure side (to the point that I don't think I've seen anyone online talk about a some of them in years...), and although a couple of my friends have adjacent interests, it's just not the same. It's akin to us liking movies in the same genre but not the same movies besides a couple, I'd say, except I've watched most of the movies they've watched but they haven't done the same with what I have, and that's why. They tend to focus on a couple at a time while I go for everything at once. And because of that, it's just...I feel like the most annoying person ever when I bring things from other "movies" up because I know they're not interested in them. Anything they share is from a movie that I've also watched and had interest in, but a lot of what I think about isn't something they have, so I know they won't feel any connection to it, hence feeling annoying. I know I probably should just talk about it and hope that they'll end up being interested, but at the same time, I also don't want to. Part of it is that the things they aren't interested in feel like a bit of a safe haven to me. It's not that they annoy me, nothing like that. I love them; they're my friends. But they tend to have a lot more to say than me, and even though I often know things about the content that they don't, almost every time I've told them of something I found interested turned out to be a mistake. They sometimes gain misconceptions, and when I say something that contradicts them, a lot of em take it harder than they should since they write fanfics and it means details were wrong. I feel awful every time. So even mutual interests leave me a bit unable to properly talk about them, although I guess it's better than nothing.

I miss when I was at least interested in things that had fanfiction written about them. At least that was some comfort that others cared just as me.

I do have this pal who is a genuine lifesaver though. They don't even have an interest in anything adjacent, but they've asked me questions and encouraged me to talk about them. I don't think anyone else ever has. (It just sucks that I'm hesitant to talk unless they prompt me with a question about what I've been thinking of. I don't want to overwhelm them and make them stop. We also don't talk as much as I do with some others, so...)

.

#sounds like a difficult situation to navigate! #like. you are allowed to talk about your interests! and friends will want to listen to friends talk about something they love even if #they dont ~get it! #but there is a limit to that of course and if it causes miscommunications etc that's just not fun for anyone involved. #i have to say though i am super curious to know what your obscure interests must be that there #isn't even much about them on the internet! #maybe it's just not where you are looking? #i am in a fairly obscure fandom and new people are regularly like #wow i didn't know there were people still talking about this bc xyz place i visited was abandoned! #i hope you can find people to chat about your interests with! #you could even try idk reddits/discords/other spaces for adjacent interests to gauge who's heard of your other #interest(s) to begin with? see who bites! #secret #anonymous #confession

[anon-confesses]

i love my friends, a lot of our relationship is teasing/banter/light hearted argument. but i always seem to be the butt of the joke. i’m always the one being teased or made fun of, and sometimes i just cant do it.

im a non-confrontational person and i find it difficult to be direct about things bothering me, but i always have to be extremely direct about being uncomfortable with a particular tease to make them stop. sometimes even then, over text, they dont seem to get that im being serious and am genuinely bothered.

sometimes i do something silly or inadvisable and get teased for being stupid, but it feeds into my insecurities and genuinely hurts my feelings.

i hate to seem too sensitive or ruin things because usually, i enjoy it and its fun! but other times it hurts me and they dont seem to understand that

.

#it can be a fine line between laughing along and feeling like you're the butt of the joke! #i am sure your friends would not be laughing if they realized you were genuinely feeling upset #but there's no way for them to know this if you don't tell them and i get that that's hard #how do you usually confront your friends when this happens? #do you say something immediately in the moment? #i think personally if it were me i would disengage (even if just a little) in the moment and wait for the joke & laughter to blow over #(which gives you time to calm down too!) #and then bring it up when everyone is back to a more level headed mood #(assuming this isn't what you've been doing) #good luck anon!! #secret #anonymous #confession

[anon-confesses]

I'm so depressed. I'm 32 and recently found out I'm pregnant. Soon as my boyfriend found out he packed his bags and left me. Said he didn't want nothing to do with me or the baby.

.

#this ask is from a while ago but i hope you are doing well anon!! #sounds like it might be good riddance re: the boyfriend but #the situation still SUCKS and must be hard as fuck #i hope you've found support and kindness elsewhere since! #secret #anonymous #confession

[anon-confesses]

Not a confession but for anyone having a bad day here's a kibby I hope your day gets better

!

#what a sweet little kitty!!! #thank you for sharing your kibby :) #cat

[anon-confesses]

My friend told me I frustrate them and I feel absolutely awful now. They told me exactly why. I need to stop being vague whether it's by actually explaining what I'm talking about or not saying anything at all, that's what they said. I'm so lonely, but I also know they wouldn't care about the things I want to ramble about, so it feels better when they don't know what exactly it is. I can't expect them to care, but it still kinda hurts even though I've told myself this since a long time ago. I also can't tell them that it does because that would be guilt tripping. The best choice would be to just not share. I know it's going to be awful, but I rather me be lonely than an asshole

.

#not sure that sounds like a great friend anon :( #like... if the way you communicate upsets them yes they are allowed to express that but??? if you are made to feel you should just shut up? #that isn't right. #and you too! are allowed to express it if something upsets you! it's not guilt tripping by default! #good luck anon it sounds like a difficult position you're in #secret #anonymous #confession