asexual

[asexual]

sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?

[asexual]

If you really want to be an ally to aromantic people, you have got to drop the term "just friends" from your vocabulary. Almost everyone says this, and it's rarely malicious, but it's still a microaggression against the arospec community.

Non-aro people often say stuff like, "Oh, I have a crush on them, but I'm also okay with us just being friends." Or "We're not dating, we're just friends!" and similar things along these lines. Without even meaning to, they're implying that friendships/platonic relationships are less meaningful than relationships with a romantic element.

Both types of relationships are equally important! By saying that platonic relationships are less than romantic/sexual relationships, you're throwing aroace-spec people under the bus, without even meaning to.

The good news is, the word 'just' is the ONLY thing you need to change about your vocabulary. Instead of saying "they're just my friend" you can say "they're my friend". The meaning is still there, but you're no longer being aphobic.

#asexual #aromantic #arospec #aspec #lgbt #queer

[asexual]

Sex positivity is also about not calling Ace people prude and using virgin as an insult 👍 hope that helps

[asexual]

something i hate to see but sadly see a lot of within the aromantic allosexual community is the hate towards men.

cisgender homosexual men are valid allo aros.

cisgender heterosexual men are valid allo aros.

transgender homosexual men are valid allo aros.

transgender heterosexual men are valid allo aros.

if you disagree with any of this, get tf off my blog. you are part of the reason our community is so overlooked.

[asexual]

can you fucking imagine if there was a poll going around asking if bisexual people were queer??? or trans people even. anything after the G other than A really (and if you say A is for ally I am killing you with a piano).

it would be fucking ridiculous, wouldn't it?

yeah so the "are cishet aromantic men queer" poll should be seen by EVERYONE as fucking ridiculous. because it is. it's not really up for debate.

if someone asked you right now, are lesbians queer, you'd tell them to touch grass. at best. you'd probably ignore them if we're being honest. but suddenly when they ask about aromantic people it's up for debate? or worse you "don't want to get involved"?

aromantic people are queer. whether you like it or not.

[asexual]

Is it possible to be both fraysexual and demisexual? I know that might sound strange, but my experiences have always gone something like this: Fall in love with someone who I don't know that well, or only know a little, experience attraction to them and fantasize about them. Get to know them, and lose my attraction as our friendship develops. Then once our friendship becomes an actual strong thing, my attraction comes back. Is there a word for this? Can I be both Fray and Demi?

Hi! I'm not sure if there's a specific phrase for this, but it definitely sounds like a valid experience, first of all :) You can call yourself fray and demi if you want, or coin your own label, or if you want me to I can try (or someone else in the community/tags can try!) to find a good label for you! Of course, you can also just call yourself aceflux/ace-spectrum/just queer in general--but as for a specific label I definitely do not see an issue with calling yourself both fraysexual(/frayromantic) and demisexual(/demiromantic)!

The labels might seem contradictory at first, but remember that seemingly contradictory labels are very common in the queer community and theyve existed forever and will continue to exist!

That being said, I'm curious too... If anyone knows of any labels that seem to line up with anon's experience, do share! I looked around and couldn't find anything but that doesn't mean a word might not already be out there!

#asexual #aromantic #lgbt #fraysexual #demisexual #frayromantic #demiromantic #queer

[asexual]

It's Ace Week, everyone!

Be aware of us!

[asexual]

One thing that helped me to realize I’m demi is when I realized that for us demi people, attraction is not formed until a strong bond exists, BUT that “bond” could be ANYTHING!

For example, demisexuals can feel sexual attraction without a “romantic” or “platonic” bond, and demiromantics can feel romantic attraction without a “sexual” or “platonic” bond. Sometimes the “bond” is just admiring someone from afar for reasons that aren’t sexual/romantic/platonic at all, we just admire them, period!

Especially for us neurodivergent people — maybe the person is our Favorite Person (for instance) or someone else we cling to for ND-related reasons. Maybe we experience limerance, maybe the person is our special interest, maybe we have Erotomanic Delusions related to the person. Either way, that could easily be a bond, even if the bond is caused by neurodivergence.

Even if it’s not an ND thing, a “bond” can absolutely be one sided. Hell, maybe the person we develop “attraction” to can be as simple as a favorite online mutual! Either way, if the “bond” is a prerequisite for the “attraction,” we’re still valid in being demi.

If you read the lesbian comphet masterdoc, there’s a bullet point that essentially boils down to “I assume any positive feelings [towards men] are attraction.” I strongly believe that a similar things exists with us demi-spectrum people, regardless of gender. We assume any positive feelings are sexual/romantic, even if they aren’t. And even when they ARE, it doesn’t necessarily mean we were mutually close with the person before, it just means WE held them near to our heart, for whatever reason.

#demisexual #demiromantic #limerence #lesbian

[asexual]

This kid is awesome

[asexual]

From when i can remember i felt pretty much same for boys and girls but i realised i didn't feel any sexual attraction towards anyone i see. I wanted to ask" Am i an ace?" Do I really need to feel something towards other gender ?

Feeling the same for all genders is common for bi/pan people AND ace people! Since you don’t feel sexual attraction at all I think you could for sure be ace. And even if you do end up developing a crush or thinking someone is hot, that’s not sexual attraction - it wouldn’t make you any less asexual!

#Anonymous

[asexual]

Does anyone know of any (free) spacey tumblr themes? space ace...space ace...

#i want something to match my profile picture but i dont have the energy to look for anything :(

[asexual]

If I get excited but I have no desire of having sex with someone, am I ace?

You def could be - aces can get turned on/etc, even if they have no sexual desires!

#Anonymous

[asexual]

also, if i am asexual, how do i tell my gf? (same lesbian + maybe ace anon who just sent an ask abt wanting ur opinion on stuff kakaka)

it definitely depends on a lot of things - if, like you said, the largest impact on your relationship would be that you want her to initiate sex rather than you, then you can and should definitely emphasize that part when you come out! if you think it may affect other parts of your relationship as well, then i’d also let her know that. do remind her that it doesn’t mean you love her any less, or think that she’s less attractive. it’s just a part of you and your orientation!

#Anonymous

[asexual]

you probably get these asks a lot but i’m in really dire need of a second opinion. i’m a lesbian and i think i might be asexual, sex in itself doesn’t bother me but i don’t like actively want to have it? it’s just not very interesting to me, really. i mean if my gf asked i wouldn’t say no (bc i don’t mind if it makes her happy lol) but i wouldn’t actively seek it yknow?? is that valid??? i don’t know ? what’s ur take on this?

well, you definitely sound sex-neutral, but sex-neutrality in itself isnt an orientation. both aces and allos can be sex-neutral -- but there’s no shame in trying on the ace label and calling yourself ace if you want to! of course that’s valid!

#Anonymous

[asexual]

if I’m a cis girl and romantically attracted to men but am asexual, am I still a part of the lgbtq+ community?

Of course! Whether you “only” like men or you like men and other genders, asexuals (and aromantics for that matter) are lgbtq+ by default!

#Anonymous

[asexual]

LGBTQ+ people are fighting for acceptance all across the world. At the same time, there is a chance to destroy the systemic racism in the US. We do not need to decide. We can do both.

[asexual]

if you are struggling to know which bail fund is most in need of donations/don’t have the means to donate to every fund, THIS website will split the donation you give to all available bail funds active rn