bluelizardlives

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"I miss old tumblr."

#april fools #decision 2016 #lizard election #lizards

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Why does Nice Guy look like Pittsburgh Dad?

isnt that breaking bad lore

#pittsburgh dad #alpha m #toxic masculinity

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As great of an idea as buying NAZI amphetamines on Etsy.

HELLO ?

#temuapp #etsy #what the hell

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#why does this look like every clothing display in a thrift store

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#Braum's #Runza #Taco Time #Wawa #Publix sub #Maybe Taco John's

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No "maybe" option. This is a yes or no thing. We're settling this once and for all

#everyone who voted “yes” #clones #Youtube #sonic the hedgehog #dr robotnik

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#computer #lizard #retro

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One of my friends is a fan of Blue Lizard, so she got her own travel companion for photos. This companion is a frowning Stuart the Minion, like this, but FunCoPop size:

BL thinks it's hilarious, since it's so on brand for a middle-aged lady whose idea of fun on a trip is going to all of the Hard Rock cafes.

#travel #minions #fandom #wine mom

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i love antique stores you go to check out & theyre like “where the hell did you get this”

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Travel Notes for This Year

A while back, I posted about things that happened on our last trip that weren't in pictures. I thought it would be a good idea to do the same for the rest of the year. On our spring trip, we were going to drive along the coast of Lake Superior, but we got stuck in a surprise blizzard. The snow was beautiful, but stopping to take photos anywhere would mean possibly getting the car stuck. Our plan for the next day became "drive south until there's no snow."

There was a young black girl working the front desk at a hotel we stayed at in Illinois who was a full on weeaboo. When we checked in, she was so happy to show us the anime figures she drew on the marker board along a Japanese word for the day. She talked to us at length about tea and told us "I love your whole vibe. You need to be sure you keep it." If she was a little older, I would have asked her about her shoelaces. My SO went back to give her a couple tea bags from her personal stash.

My SO also gave an old lady some tea when she asked for some off the menu at this pizza place we ate at during the snow storm. I couldn't figure out why Axe Man Surplus kept coming up when we were looking for places to visit in Minneapolis, so we went to one. Everything has a silly sign attached to it, like "I can't even anything without my 10,000 RPM 2 amp electric motor" or "Stinky army surplus bags for when you want to store stuff in something green and stinky."

We ended up with season tickets to Silver Dollar City, so we went a couple times this year. I think the whole reason that it's regularly ranked as one of the top theme parks is because you can go there in the off season and walk onto almost any ride, except their most popular coasters. I only took one lizard picture, because it's not that interesting to look at.

The big news at the park is the closure and rebuilding of "Fire in the Hole," a literal theme park version of the battle between the baldknobbers. During the civil war, you'd be arrested for being in a town on the opposite side of the war. Pro-union people started dressing up in what look like KKK hoods with horned tassels on the sides that look like something straight out of a Rob Zombie film. They'd show up at the jail and break out whoever got captured. Then pro-confederacy people started doing the same thing. This all took place in the area between Branson, MO and Harrison, AR, AKA the most racist town in America. The ride tells the story, and a supposed fire set by the baldknobbers, in the most ridiculous, cheesy, outdated way possible. I'm kind of sad they're redoing it.

Also, their Christmas lights are really overrated.

On that note, Missouri with legalized weed is over the top. They have more billboard ads for dispensaries than any other state I've seen, and we kept running into people who stank from smoking joints. Have you ever been to Redmon's Candy Store ON WEED?

We got to go on a night hike through a prairie. The guide showed us how to identify buffalo wallows, and how to see spiders from long distances by reflecting light off of their eyes.

We met up with one of my old friends when she and her husband were in the area on a road trip. She lived in Green Bay about 15-20 years ago, and she said when she lived there, people acted like you were a simpleton if your were nice to people. When we've been up there in recent years, everyone has been super nice and talkative. It reminds me of how the West was 20 years ago. I'm not sure why there has been such a shift.

While we were in Green Bay, we ended up out in the country and stopped at a sub shop for dinner. The food was really good, and the owner talked to everyone at length about the music playing including the release date, who was in on the session, and where they recorded it. It turns out we happened upon Scott's Subs, which is a local institution famous for their subs and the owner's immense knowledge of rock 'n roll.

We also went to Zesty's Frozen Custard. It's retro 50s, but in a very 80s way, down to the pink/cyan/white/black color scheme and a broken arcade machine in the back. I wish I'd taken pictures.

We were warned by several people that we'd have to wait at least an hour to eat at Al Johnson's in Door County, but it was worth it. They're famous for having goats that climb on their roof to eat the grass. It was outside tourist season, and the goats weren't out, because it was too cold. We were able to walk right in, and eat with a handful of locals. The food was every bit as good as people said it was.

They Might Be Giants was one of the concerts of all time. I found out later that a couple friends were at the same concert, and they had the exact same experience. I feel like I could have just stayed home and listened to some of their studio recordings.

Howard Jones still sounds great, and so does Berlin. As for Culture Club, my SO said "Boy George's talents are waning, and he's covering it up by bringing new people into his act." If I was alone, I would have left after they played a couple songs.

#travel #baldknobbers #green bay #blizzard #food #concerts #tea

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Happy Holidays!

#christmas #santa hat #happy holidays

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Family Gatherings

I was the youngest child, I've never spent much time around children, I don't really know how to talk to them? So I end up in situations like:

My baby niece: [cries loudly]

Me:

"This will not achieve the goal of removing the shit from your pants."

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Reblog to kill it faster

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Now I'm trying to remember which cyberpunk story actually had a bikini model programmed to kill. Was it Johnny Mnemonic?

I wanna read this so bad

#cyberpunk #book cover #totally real #I am SO in

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This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

[bluelizardlives]

the year is 2028 and i am a quarter of the way into the latest 45-hour youtube essay epic everyone's been talking about