bushs-world

[bushs-world]

TIME AND AGAIN

Summary: In the far future, Sameera volunteers to test a memory simulator that allows the user their memories. Her choice? A memory from three years ago but soon she realises she craves to go back again and again

Rating: G

Tags: Original female character x original female character, futuristic setting, post cyberpunk, timeloops, science fiction, short story

Word count: 3.2k

This is my first time publishing one of my short stories. I originally wrote this short story as a part of the Sylki Zine. A huge thanks to @queen-of-meows for helping me with the plot of this short story. If you like it, please do like and reblog!!

‘Every man who remembers must remember something, and that which he remembers is called the object of his remembrance.’

These words, handpicked by their president from Thomas Reid’s ‘Essays on the Intellectual Powers of Man’, were inscribed on the plutonium plaque that hung on the wall of their research center. Sameera had walked past this plaque many times before but never had she ever read those words, until today. 

The object of remembrance.

A lone tear rolled down her cheek. Her heart ached but she was skilled in pushing away her sorrows. Slowly instead, she laid down on the full body, flatbed scanner. The wires attached to her arms tingled with tiny jolts of electricity as a technician secured the electromagnetic band around her head. 

“Sameera, are you comfortable?” asked Mr. Glen, her testing officer. She gave him a thumbs up. 

He smiled. “Scared?”

She shook her head in refusal. “There's nothing to be scared of. I know the procedure, I have worked on this project for years.”

Mr. Glen attached a clip to the tip of her index finger. “We will be monitoring your vitals and bring you back if there's any problem. There shouldn't be any issue but I have to ask you again- Are you sure you want to volunteer?”

Sameera nodded. Her colleague patted her shoulder, then entered the initiate command on the main computer.

The welcome song, a piece of classical music, rang in her ears. Sameera saw her teammates walk around the mainframe. Her eyes felt heavy. She blinked once, then twice before her eyelids fell shut.

—

—

—

Sameera woke up with a start and looked around. She was at her workstation along the mainframe at the research center. Her work screen was filled with lines of codes she needed to run and test. 

Her eyes went to the top left corner of her screen. The date was displayed in a deep blue colour. A small smile made its way across her face. 

26 November, 2350

She was here. 

Her planner lay open by her side. She still had piles of work to finish– she had to run the codes, record their output, then file her observations into the database. There was also the report she needed to prepare. 

Sameera closed her planner shut with a thud. Then she got up from her workstation and walked out. Her coworkers shot her flabbergasted looks. Her manager barred her from leaving. But it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered except for the one thing she came here for. 

As the elevator pod took her down to the ground floor, Sameera checked her appearance in the shiny chromium of its walls. She fixed her dark raven hair, smoothing away any flyaways and removed her lab coat, scrutinizing her appearance.

There were dark circles under her eyes. She was in her work clothes, a white button up shirt with slacks. Sameera adjusted her attire and nodded satisfied. The white of her shirt contrasted well with her dusky, brown complexion. She remembered bringing a trench coat along with her, a perfect dress up for the evening.

Once she reached the ground floor, Sameera quickly made her way to the reception. The robotic assistant, an earlier model she had totally forgotten about, greeted her at the front desk. It led her to her locker where she collected her belongings, replaced her lab coat with her trench coat and went about her way. 

The nightlife was in its full glory when she stepped out of the building. The nano processor installed on her wrist displayed the time– 7:30 pm. 

30 minutes to 8. 

Her destination wasn't too far away so she decided to walk. Along the way, she stopped by the airbrush booth to get her makeup done and bought a bouquet of flowers from the floral counter. A few minutes more and she reached the place.

A bright pink neon sign, hung at the entrance of the restaurant, glowed brightly in the night. The host, an android with a fake looking skin (the unrealistic skin always gives them away), welcomed her. “Good evening. How can I help you?”

Now that she was finally here, she realized how scared she truly was. Sameera choked on her words. “I.. I have a reservation today.”

“This way please,” the android replied in its robotic voice and led her inside. 

Sameera followed it, her heart racing violently. Her palms sweated, her stomach twisted with dread. She turned round the corner, when she saw her sitting in a booth at the back of the restaurant. 

The sight knocked the wind out of her. Sameera froze, tears welling in her eyes. She looked ethereal, wearing a teal dress, her beautiful, curly hair pinned up in a bun. 

Oh how had she missed her. Her big, brown doe like eyes, her soft chocolate skin, her big smile, her laughter, her embrace. She was here and she was real. 

“Sameera?” she called out, waving at her from the booth. “You are here.”

Sameera slowly made her way towards her, wiping away the tears in her eyes. “Rumi.”

Rumi got up and pulled her into a hug. “Happy wedding anniversary, my dear wife. I was so scared you won't make it but here you are.”

Sameera choked on a sob. “I came, Rumi.”

Rumi kissed her forehead. “Yes, you did. I am so happy, Sameera.” Then, she led her towards the table. “Come, let's sit down.”

Sameera sat down on a chair. Rumi sat across her, going through the menu. “What would you like to drink? Let's see it's almost 8.”

“Rumi,” Sameera interrupted her, reaching out to hold her wife’s hand. “You don't think I am a bad wife now, do you?”

Rumi knitted her brows in confusion. “What are you saying?”

“Tell.. tell me you are happy with me,” said Sameera, her voice trembling. 

“Oh Sameera,” Rumi replied. “My dear wife. You are so stupid. If only you knew–”

___

___

___

Sameera opened her eyes, shocked. Her colleagues circled around her, looking at her in anticipation. The ending song played in the background, thanking her for her patronage. 

Mr. Glen removed the electromagnetic band from her head, helping her sit up. “So, how did it work? Were you able to re-access your memory?”

Sameera nodded her head. “Yeah, it was my wedding anniversary three years ago. Why am I back?”

Mr. Glen handed her a glass of water. “Oh, 30 minutes were up. The software can only run the test for thirty minutes, as you know.” He picked up his tablet from the side. “So now the details. How was the memory augmentation, the environment reconstruction and the virtual space navigation?”

Sameera wiped her cheeks. “I need to go back. Please send me back.”

“But why?” asked the technician. “This was just a test run.”

“I need to go back again. I need to check the space navigation again. Please just send me back.”

Mr. Glen sighed. “Just one more time ok.”

Sameera gave him a grateful smile, then laid down on the scanner again. The technician secured the electromagnetic band around her head. The welcome song played, her eyes fell heavy.

___

___

___

Sameera woke up. She was at her workstation, her screen lined with codes. She paid no heed to her surroundings this time around– neither her colleagues nor her manager.

She just ran. Sameera ran as fast as she could. She raced towards the reception and grabbed her trench coat. Then, he walked in haste towards the restaurant, not bothering to get herself airbrushed or buying flowers.

The host welcomed her and led her in, again. Sameera turned the corner to find Rumi sitting at the booth. Seeing her for the second time still hurt as much.

“Sameera?” Rumi called out, waving her hand. “You are here.”

Sameera walked up to her quickly. Rumi got up and hugged her. “Happy wedding anniversary, my dear wife. I was so scared you won't make it but here you are.”

Sameera held her wife's face in her palms, caressing it gently. “There's nowhere else I want to be. I want to be here, with you, forever.”

Rumi gave her a smile. “I am so happy, Sameera. Come, let's sit down.”

Sameera sat down on a chair, Rumi sat across her, going through the menu. “What would you like to drink? Let's see, it's a few minutes to 8.”

“Rumi,” Sameera interrupted, lacing their hands together. “I can't tell you how much I love being with you. I was so stupid to throw this away, to let you down for things that never mattered. Nothing mattered other than you, and I am sorry I didn't appreciate you the way you deserved.” 

Rumi gave her another smile. “I am so glad to hear you say that.”

“Tell me,” pleaded Sameera. “Are you happy to marry me?”

Rumi looked at her puzzled. “Oh Sameera!”

___

___

___

Sameera opened her eyes, frustrated. Mr. Glen stood by her side, checking her vitals. “Welcome back.”

Sameera got up, disgruntled. “30 minutes are over?”

He nodded his head. “No more going back now.” Picking up his tablet, he patted her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. Satisfied, Mr. Glen proceeded to ask her a series of questions about her experience in the memory simulator. Sameera answered them absentmindedly, her thoughts far away– to a day three years ago, remembering. 

Remembering as it really happened

‘26 November, 2350

It was a Sunday as well as her wedding anniversary but Sameera wasn't home with her wife Rumi, celebrating. Instead, she was seated in her work station, working diligently on Project Remembrance– an AI powered memory simulator that would let people relive their most cherished memories. A dream job for her, as she liked to say some time ago but she wasn't so sure now. 

When she left for the research center this morning, she had promised Rumi she would be there for their dinner date at 8 tonight. Now, looking at the time, Sameera realized it would be impossible.

She still had piles of work left to do, and both her managers had been unable to let her off until she wrapped up her work, owing to an investor's meeting a few days later. 

Sameera ran the code on her screen, hoping to miraculously wrap up her work in half an hour or so. An error message appeared on the screen, breaking her bubble. She teared up in frustration– she wouldn't be able to leave today. 

She tapped the nanoprocessor on her wrist. ‘Send a message to Rumi. Tell her I won't be able to make it’. Then she returned to work, tears of frustration rolling down her cheeks. 

By the time she reached home, it was already midnight. Rumi stood by the kitchen sink, rinsing off some dishes. She wore her night pajamas, her hair undone. 

“Happy wedding anniversary,” said Sameera slowly. 

“It's 12:15,” replied Rumi curtly. “Our wedding anniversary was yesterday. But forget that, tell me how was your Sunday that you spent at work?”

“Oh for heaven's sake Rumi!” Sameera shot back, irritated. “You know my work is demanding. I expect you to be more understanding.”

Rumi turned towards her in anger. “I am not understanding?! This has been going on for months. You are always at work, even on weekends. I don't remember when we last spent time together, to watch a movie or go out for dinner. How can you blame me?”

Sameera threw her hands in the air. “So, it's my fault. Everything is my fault.” She sank on the couch, crying. “You love your work and spend hours painting, it's not an issue. But if I am stuck at work, I am the bad one.”

Rumi pressed her head. “It's not the same. My work brings me joy and fulfillment. I am not trapped by corporate moguls who drain me out, forcing me to work till midnight on a Sunday. Babe, you really need to leave this job.”

“You can never be happy for me, can you?” Sameera asked, bitterly. 

“If you expect me to be happy to see you like this, then yes I am not happy,” Rumi replied firmly. 

“I can't understand why you are so pressed!” said Sameera

“Because it was our wedding anniversary and I was alone, Sameera!”

“It's no big deal. It will come next year, and the next. Do you have to make such a fuss!”

Rumi looked at her stunned. There were tears in her eyes. “What was I thinking, marrying you?”

She turned around and left, banging the bedroom door. Sameera stayed put on the couch, crying.’ 

Sameera sat on her workstation, going through a programme. Most of her colleagues had already left, and the few that remained were packing up their things. Her mind kept drifting back to Rumi. Her smile, her laughter, her happiness were all seared in her head. It brought back the pain of losing her along with guilt.

She needed to meet her one last time. She needed to fix what she messed up three years ago. For Rumi, for herself.

Sameera switched off her screen and made her way towards the testing area. The place was empty by now. Putting in the initiate command, she placed the electromagnetic band on her head and lied down on the scanner, revisiting her memory again. 

And again.

And again.

One time turned to two, two times turned to many. Each time she went back, re-lived her memory only to feel an aching desire to go back. No matter how many times she saw Rumi’s smile or experienced her warm embrace, it was never enough. She needed more. 

She hoped to fix things, she hoped for happiness. She hoped the dead weight she had been carrying for the past three years, be finally lifted off her chest.

And yet with each try, it felt hollow. Rumi felt less like a real person, and more like a figment of her own imagination, turned real via a sophisticated AI programme. Each time she appeared as what Sameera wanted but could never be what she needed because she could never be real. 

Her real Rumi. 

Wiping away her tears, Sameera laid down on the scanner again. The welcome song played, her eyes fell shut.

___

___

___

Sameera woke up with a start. She was at her workstation yet again. She did what she had done a dozen times now. She descended down the elevator, raced to the restaurant and went straight to the back of the restaurant to find Rumi. 

“Sameera?” she said, waving her hand. “You are here.”

“I am,” she replied tearfully. “Rumi, tell me you are happy to marry me?”

Rumi looked at her confused, then smiled. “Oh Sameera, of course I am happy to marry you. You are the best wife in the world.”

The words didn't bring her the satisfaction she thought she would find. Instead, they broke something inside her, crushed and destroyed it until all that was left was pain. 

The pain of losing Rumi.

“Liar,” Sameera shot back. “You are a bloody liar because I am not a good wife. You should regret marrying me, you should resent me, that's how you should act but why would you?”

Rumi placed an arm on her shoulder. “As your wife–”

“You are not my wife!” Sameera shouted. “You are not Rumi. You are just a reconstruction of my memory, in a virtual space rendered by an AI. None of your words are Rumi's words, none of your joy is Rumi's joy. You are governed by an algorithm that I developed. You are not real. You are not my Rumi.”

Rumi, the AI reconstruction of her, shifted uncomfortably. Tears rolled down Sameera's eyes.

___

___

___

Sameera woke up, her body drenched in sweat. The vital monitor on the side beeped loudly. Mr. Glen stood in front of her, worry etched over his face. “Are you okay?”

Sameera got up, wiping off her sweat. “I can explain.”

“You wanted to relive your memory over and over,” he supplied, helping her off the scanner. “What memory are you re-accessing?”

Sameera sat on a nearby chair, looking straight ahead. “My wedding anniversary, three years ago.”

“Must be a really happy memory for you,” said Mr. Glen, sitting in front of her. 

Sameera let out a bitter laugh. “Oh no! There was no happiness because I chose to stay in my office working, instead of being with my wife. I swear I tried but I just couldn't leave. And then when I went home, what did I do? I told Rumi it was no big deal, that our anniversary will come next year. She told me she regretted marrying me.”

Her colleague nodded. “Then what happened?”

Tears flowed down her cheeks. “Two… Two months later, Rumi suffered a cardiac arrest and passed away. There was no more anniversary for us.”

The pain she had been pushing away all these years finally broke free. She grabbed her face in her hands and cried, letting her sorrow wash over her. 

Mr. Glen rubbed circles around her back. “Is that why you kept revisiting the same memory?”

She nodded through her tears. “I thought I could fix things with Rumi, thought I could show her I love her but –”

“But it brought you no joy,” said Mr. Glen. “Because your wife is gone. She isn't here to experience your love. You hoped changing your memory would ease off your guilt, for you. But it won't because none of it is real. It is just a memory after all.”

“I just wish I could tell her I love her,” said Sameera sadly. “I wish I could make her not regret marrying me.”

Mr. Glen shook his head. “Did she leave you?”

“No.”

“See, she knew and she doesn't regret marrying you. She was there, wasn't she?” he asked. 

Sameera nodded. 

“All you can do is honor your wife's memory and move on from your guilt, Sameera. There's nothing. That is more than enough. You need to let go.”

Mr. Glen gave her another pat, then walked out the room. Sameera stayed seated for some time, contemplating his words. Then, she walked towards the mainframe. Her eyes fell on the initiate command on the screen. She could relive her memory once again if she wanted but. 

Sameera shut down the system. Then she grabbed her belongings and left. On her way out, she grabbed an application for her resignation. Then she stepped into the night, looking at the stars. 

“I am sorry, Rumi,” she said. “And I love you.”

A star twinkled brighter. She smiled, then walked off into the crowd.

#short story #original fiction #f/f romance #science fiction #post cyberpunk #original characters #poc characters #lgbtq story #sapphic

[bushs-world]

The Sylki Writers’ Group is proud to present our first

Sylki Fan Zine!

It includes fanfics exclusive to the zine, an interview of a renowned fanfic writer, original creations, games and more!

We’re so excited that it’s finally here. Check it out!

So many thanks to @andy-skull @bushs-world and all of the amazing writers and contributors 💚

#sylki #sylki zine #fanzine #fandom zine

[bushs-world]

Why do people hate female characters so much? Incels hate female characters. The yaoi shippers hate female characters, the writers of a show or movie literally either don't know how to write a female character or ruin her story and push her aside. Like what's up with that??

Also, what's up with fandom? Y'all see a man whose gone through trauma and has issues trusting and is just an over all grumpy fellow and you want to hug him.

While a female character goes through the same thing and she's ruining the vibe for y'all??

[bushs-world]

To everyone playing the 'Sylki Game' by the talented Sylki artists, I have a challenge. Get the good ending in the casino route on the first try.

I tell you it's next to impossible. And here's the amazing art for the Casino Route

#it was impossible!!!! #to get it right in the first try #but it was fun #go play it guys

[bushs-world]

Loki Poem Before the S2 Finale

‘Twas the night before the finale and all throughout the fandom Speculation flourished about if it’ll end quite random. Ravonna, Sylvie, Kang and OB So many threads to resolve and ‘who’ is the key.

Pet theories abound like the Timekeepers Three Will turn out to be Loki, Mobius and Sylvie. But first they must fix the damned time loom So reality will not again blow up and go boom.

Assuming no spaghetti and everyone is ok, Will people remember their lives outside the TVA? Doctor, merchant, scientist, and thief Will they remain the same or turn over a new leaf?

Then with all the relationships they must finally take stock. Will there be repercussions for clockblocking the clock? Will Loki end up as alone as he always did fear? Or will his friends choose to join him and again volunteer?

Sylki was a real thing and not just blips of a dream But watching this season has made me want to scream. Tell her how you feel and just shoot your shot! Remember all you did to find her and how hard for her you fought!

An ending shrouded in mystery and anything is game With all the time slipping and loops, it could remain the same With a TVA in charge of protecting the timelines, Or free will could break free of its rigid confines.

Please let there somehow be a happy ending With healing and love and relationships mending. Let us have more time with the characters we love, And for fuck’s sake, don’t end this season with another shove.

#loki season 2 #sylki

[bushs-world]

Omg congrats @andy-skull 👏👏

OCTOBER 2023 EDITION IS OUT!

A huge shoutout to our contributors and editors! We are so proud to release this spooky edition just in time for Halloween this year! This is a zine for monsters and monster lovers alike!

Authors:

@meryl-writes @gentaroukisaragi @fuctacles / @self-written-god @andy-skull @knightinshiningscales

Artists: @claudianarts @tphartz DarkChibiShadow @systmiki

Special Bonus:

@the-likeable-wizard-mack

DOWNLOAD NOW

[bushs-world]

Loki 2.01 | Ouroboros

#sylki #loki season 2 spoilers

[bushs-world]

Loki keeps saying, 'We need to find Sylvie, we need to find Sylvie. We need to find out what's going on'. What he's not saying is, 'I want to find Sylvie because I wanted to pursue what happened at the end of the last season,' [laughs]. He's coming in ready to go.

Dan Deleeuw - 'Loki team teases the God of Mischief's "awkward teenager" romance with Sylvie in season 2' (Games Radar)

#Sylki

[bushs-world]

LOKI "Ouroboros"

#sylki #loki season 2 spoilers

[bushs-world]

According to Google, possums are predators to cats. However, it seems catgirls can easily catch and eat one.

#i understood the reference lol

[bushs-world]

NEW MOON

Rating: ⭐/5

Author: Stephanie Meyer

Genre: Supernatural Romance, Vampires, Werewolves

Bingo Square: Sequels

So why did I read this book when people nowadays steer clear of this series? Well, one of the squares on the fantasy book bingo was 'Sequels'. Since there weren't any other unread sequels, and I didn't want to directly pick up the second book of an unread series, I picked up 'New Moon.'

I had read Twilight 15 years ago, I liked the movie 'Eclipse', I had a crush on Robert Pattinson and I had so many debates with my friends over Team Edward vs Team Jacob as a teen. So I thought it would be fun to pick up something I loved as a teen and see how it holds up now.

Also I remember amidst the widespread criticism of 'Breaking Dawn', many people defended this franchise that there's nothing wrong if Bella chooses to have a family coz that's what she wants. Stephanie Meyer also said that if feminism is about women's choices, then Twilight is feminist coz it's about Bella's choices. So I also wanted to see how that argument held up

Now, I knew the book was problematic but it's even more problematic, regressive and boring than I remembered

Detailed review under the cut. Spoilers warning

I am moving chronologically here and talking about my thoughts on this book but it is a bit long. Also I can see how SM's faith played out in shaping this book but I am keeping that aside for now.

The book starts with Bella having a nightmare where she's old while Edward's still looks like a teenager and it troubles her. Now, I won't say Bella is shallow coz I can understand her fear. It is valid for her to have insecurities if one day she might turn old and her bf would look like her son. This could have been an excellent opportunity for SM to explore the imbalances in their relationship, but instead she paints growing old in itself as something horrible and problematic. It's worse when you realise this book is marketed to teen girls

The rest of the chapter is the most irritating thing I have ever read. Bella spends the whole chapter moping that she's growing old coz she turned (n I kid u not) 18. I understand her fear that Edward was 17 when he turned into a vampire while she has crossed 18, but still to paint it as her growing old when she's just 18 felt extremely ridiculous. Also Bella wasn't keen on celebrating her bday (coz she didn't want to celebrate her growing old 😒) that she asks everyone to not wish her or get her gifts. And ofcourse, everyone around is super excited n Bella acts likes it's a prison sentence. When Edward n Alice show excitement and wish her, she hushes them coz she doesn't want others to know it's her bday. She asks Edward to ignore it's her bday as well. Look, I can understand being uncomfortable about getting attention n wanting to keep your bday under wraps. My bday comes n goes n no one outside my close friends or family learn about it. But if someone is so excited for your bday, it's coz they care for u. The polite thing is to appreciate the effort, rather than sulk coz others want to do something special for u.

But then there's a party organised for her in the evening at the Cullens house, and Bella makes so many excuses to not go (not coz she didn't want to be alone in a house full of vampires but coz she's clumsy n doesn't want attention on herself). At this point I started feeling bad for her coz it felt like she was dead opposed to the idea of a party n her wishes were being ignored, even on her birthday. In fact at one point, Edward tells her to act nicely coz this is the first birthday his family is getting a chance to celebrate in a long time and that everyone is excited.

When Bella is opening a gift, she gets a paper cut and a drop of blood oozes out which makes Edward's brother Jasper lose control and pounce on her. To save her, Edward pushes her away with so much force, she falls into nearby glass n now her entire arm starts bleeding (what a save 😒). The rest of the Cullens save for Edward's father, Carlisle (who works as a doctor) gets disturbed by the scent of her blood. One would expect Bella to act like a sane person n get shaken by his incident, maybe try to run away. But she stays right there in the house, having a nice chat about faith with Carlisle, while he bandages her up. Instead of reconsidering her own life choices, she is busy admiring Carlisle's willpower and abstinence. Once she's bandaged, she has Edward drive her back home n stay with her all night. N top of that she thinks it's her fault this accident happened coz she was so clumsy (as if the Cullens dont live along with other humans). Even Edward who is the more manipulative one, has to point out that if she wouldn't have risked her life over a paper cut if she was with her human friends. Her reply? 'I don't want to be with them. I want to be with you'.

I don't think this is pointed out enough but I feel Bella likes the Cullens so much because she idealises them. She feels they are superior to her and the others bcoz they all are pretty and pale. There have been many instances where she feels the same about other blood sucking vampires as well. This along with how the Cullens are treated as virtuous, self controlled n civilised n contrasted against how the Quileite tribe are portrayed makes this book quite racist.

Anyways, after this incident, Edward broods for a few days n Bella wants things to go back the way they were. She thinks it's her fault n he's brooding coz his family is staying away. She feels bad she's driving the Cullens away from their home 🤦. At one point, she also thinks that Edward is gonna ask her to move away with him n she's ready to lie to her father n run away with him. But Edward wants to break up with her due to the incident. To keep her off, he lies that he doesn't love her anymore n Bella's like ofc he won't love someone so plain n ugly like me (he's a vampire Bella!). Before leaving Edward makes her promise that she won't get into trouble.

When Edward leaves, Bella falls into severe depression. It is marked by blank pages turning in the book and when Bella slowly starts noticing the world around her, five months or so have passed. New Moon gets a lot of criticism for this, saying Bella got too depressed too fast over just a boy, or that the relationship wasn't that great anyways n she should have just moved on coz she was still young but I will disagree here. It doesn't matter what or how the relationship was, it mattered so much to her, she was ready to turn into a vampire to be with Edward. And it was yanked away suddenly from her. She is allowed to mourn the loss. Just coz she's young doesn't mean the relationship wasn't important or serious n she should be able to move on.

I do like the way the depression was written n when Bella slowly starts seeing the people around her again, she notices how people either ignore her or don't know how to act around her. At one point, she realises she has become a zombie. Despite everything, she starts making an effort to live a normal life again.

One thing I didn't like though was how seeking out help for mental health issues was demonised. At one point her father suggests she visit a therapist n she replies- you want me to meet a skank? Also people will hallucinations or mental illness were referred to as lunatics. I understand this book was written in mid 2000s so I can understand this stigma towards mental illness but it's still not justified imo.

Bella goes out with a friend to keep her father off her back n something, something long story but she finds herself in a similar situation like in Twilight where Edward came to save her n doing that time she heard Edward's voice in her head. I don't remember exactly what happened but Bella decides she no longer wants to keep the promise she made to Edward n wants to be reckless. This is another part that is criticised (n I totally agree it is very dangerous) but I think people keep forgetting this is a teen under severe depression. People r like Bella was reckless n yes, she is but she is trying desperately to cover up the void she feels in whatever way she can. She is not ok n that is the most important thing here. Also, for once SM doesn't romanticise her recklessness as an act of love. Bella regrets n realises how wrong her actions were. N she isn't doing it for Edward initially. Her wanting to be reckless felt to me as an act of rebellion against Edward n his hold over her life. By breaking her promise to him, she was trying to take back some control of her life. Ofc later she realises that she can hear Edward's voice clearly during this time n then it's all about wanting to hear him again.

In her pursuit, Bella takes two broken motorcycle to Jacob so that he can fix it and teach her how to ride it. This is where Jacob enters the picture. I will say Bella is to Jacob what Edward was to Bella, not in the sense that Jacob loves Bella, the way Bella loves Edward but rather Bella is as manipulative n exploitive of Jacob as Edward is of Bella. N Jacob is an ahole as well. Initially, their relationship is sweet. Bella sees Jacob as a lovely boy she can be friends with, he has a crush on her. She enjoys his company as friends, she cares for him n when she realises he has feelings for her, she asks him to move on coz she can't love him back. Till this point it was absolutely healthy until Jacob suddenly stops interacting with her, n Bella starts panicking coz she doesn't want to lose him from her life n wants him back (like u asked him to move on girl and if he doesn't want to be friends coz of his feelings, that's totally valid). In fact when she goes to meet him n confront about it, n Jacob ends their friendship, she replies- u r breaking up with me?? (like when were they even dating in the first place) N after that it's such a mess. Bella knows Jacob feels for her, Jacob knows she doesn't love him n they still stick to each other. Bella doesn't mind if others think she's his gf, Jacob is physically affectionate with her n neither wants to clear up the mess. N one hand, Bella keeps remembering Edward, on the other hand, she doesn't draw a boundary with Jacob n let's their relationship go into a complicated boundary coz she doesn't want to lose him. By the end, she's almost ready to compromise n date Jacob coz she won't get Edward back so it's better n wise of her to take the second option available to her (how about u not date anyone Bella?). N in a comedic twist, Alice comes back, Edward is in trouble n Bella quickly drops Jacob to go save Edward after just making the decision to date him a day ago.

Also can we talk about how SM sexualised both Jacob n the Quileite tribe. Jacob is just 16 n yet there r extensive paragraphs of his muscles, his jawline, his warm body. That's still a young teen. It's similar to how sometimes girls as young as 16 r sexualised in fiction. Also the contrast between the Cullens n the Quileites is stark. The Cullens r portrayed as sophisticated, virtuous and calm, able to control their impulses. The Quileites r savages, can't control their temper n can hurt u n they don't wear shirts.

By the end, Alice takes Bella to a city of vampires to save a suicidal Edward. In the process she comes across the vampire royalty Volturi, n now she has to turn into a vampire in a year so that she's not a danger to their secret. Edward comes back in her life n asks her to marry him. N Bella, in classic Bella style, tells her father, who is opposed to Edward being back in her life after the depression she went through like any sane father, that if he can't accept Edward in her life, then she can move out (she didn't learn a thing but then she didn't just accept to marry Edward straight away n initially resisted him coming back coz if he left again, it would crush her so maybe there's some development).

Now for the main thing, is this book by any chance feminist? The answer is a big no. For one, despite SM calling it Bella's choice, the choice is never hers. The men around her decide things for her on her behalf. Even with her wanting to be a vampire, she doesn't turn into one later bcoz that's what she wants but coz she's dying in childbirth. At most the decision she makes is whether to marry Edward or be with Jacob, but even there she has to face manipulation and blackmailing from both of them. We r supposed to accept the franchise isn't problematic coz it's what Bella wants but respecting someone's choices doesn't mean sweeping all the red flags under a rug. What SM is essentially saying it's ok n feminist for a woman to be in a toxic relationship bcoz she wants it. But feminism isn't turning a blind eye towards the romanticisation of abuse or accepting a toxic relationship as a healthy one coz the woman wants it.

In short, this book was a disaster n I might have liked this franchise as a teen but it def didn't hold up for me now.

#new moon book #new moon Stephanie Meyer #bush rambles books #book review

[bushs-world]

Countdown to Loki Season 2 with...

The Perfect Lie

by Padawan_Writer

They’re the perfect couple. They have the perfect life. But is it all just the perfect lie?

After bombing the Timeline, two dangerous Loki Variants managed to escape Renslayer’s clutches just before they could attack the Timekeepers. Renslayer will stop at nothing to find them, and when flickers of Variant Energy begin to show up on a small island in the Maldives, she sends Agent Mobius to investigate.

Under stolen identities, Loki and Sylvie are living their best lives as closely to the dictates of the Sacred Timeline as possible to avoid detection. It’s almost too easy to play the part of a newlywed couple with sunshine, cocktails, endless beach days. But when the TVA picks up their trail once again and they must fake their relationship more convincingly than ever before, they are forced to untangle the most important question of all... where does the lie end and the reality begin?

#sylki

[bushs-world]

Sylvie💚🗡️ i love @itssophiadimartino ‘s awesome portrayal of her!!

I am so excited by these season 2 trailers omg!!

These little chibis will be up for preorder as charms very soon keep an eye out👀 more to be added as I go along hehe including season 2 outfits

Who should I do next?

#sylvie

[bushs-world]

So, one of an (additional) challenge of the fantasy book bingo was to write a review of the books you read. I have been putting this off for sometime, but finally decided to sit down and write this book review, especially since I have a lot to talk about.

(also this is my first review so it might get a bit haphazard since it's more me keeping a track of my opinions)

THE PRIORY OF THE ORANGE TREE

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐/5

Author: Samantha Shannon

Genre: Fantasy, Queer relationships

Bingo Square: Queernorm setting

Detailed review under the cut. Contains spoilers

What I loved

Worldbuilding: the worldbuilding in the first half of the book is so well written and the most enjoyable part of this book. There's so much worldbuilding in this novel, from the different kingdoms, their religion, their rulers, their practices and beliefs as well as how they see the other kingdoms. And yet it never feels like exposition or info dump. Which btw there isnt a typical expository dump at the beginning of this book. Instead we are dropped right in the middle of the world and we figure and understand the world slowly as we read through

Weaving of plot: again, in the first half of the plot, there are four different pov characters in different parts of the world. They rarely know each other (except for two characters but they are in different places) and yet somehow the plot connects them together in a very interesting and enjoyable way.

Religion: religion plays a very important part in this book and the difference of beliefs and faiths, and how that causes conflicts is very realistically portrayed in this book. As well as two different religions believing two different versions of the same story. For example, the west follows a religion called virtuedom and thinks of Cleolind, a prominent historical figure as a damsel rescued by their saint after he trapped the dragon while the south believes the saint is a liar and Cleolind was the hero who trapped the dragon, and hail her as the Mother. Similarly, the East worships the dragons of the east and hate the wyrms of the west while the rest of the places don't see any distinction in the two types of dragons and hate both.

Diversity: absolutely adore how diverse the characters in this book were. Eadaz, also called Ead is brown (her characterisation parallels the SWANA region) and sapphic. Loth is a black man. Tané is Asian young girl and Niclays is an old gay man. Sabran, a very prominent character in the book (though not a pov character)who rules as the queen of the strongest kingdom is bi.

Ead and Sabran's relationship: especially during the first part, the slow burn and tension was just *chef's kiss*

Gender neutrality: this book is queernorm so there's no homophobia. Ead is in love with Sabran, Niclays is gay and Tane seems asexual. Also instead of gendered terms like husband or wife, the book uses words like partner. Position of powers is held equally between men and women. And both Ead and Tane are strong fighters who have trained all their life. There's only one issue with the queer stuff of this book which I will discuss in the cons section.

Standalone Fantasy: lastly I loved that this is a standalone fantasy.

What didn't work

Too much plot: the second half of the book is weighed down by too much plot, which imo was totally unnecessary. There was so much additional new information and twists that it was difficult to keep a track of. For the first half it was an understandable simple plot- there r two dragons; the evil wyrms of the west and the benevolent dragons of the east. And the leader of the wyrms was imprisoned under the earth by Cleolind through a sword. Her descendents, now protect the world from the wyrms in a secret order of mages. In the second half suddenly, it was complicated with two different types of magic, two jewels, there's another second woman (that no one knew about) who together with Cleolind binded the dragons, a witch, a mulberry tree, a comet and what not. That along with too many unnecessary subplots made the book too muddled by the second half

Unsatisfactory resolution of subplot: there are often subplots which are set up or pointed towards, only for them to be quickly (and unsatisfactory resolved) in a few pages without the characters actively overcoming any struggles. Instead the subplots are resolved with a very conveniently timed coincidence. For example, the book sets up Loth going into an enemy draconic kingdom for a good length. People worry that he doesn't get hurt. But as soon as he reaches there, the princess of the kingdom very conveniently tells him she's on his side and the kingdom is suffering due to his father. He's out of the kingdom in 4 pages flat and without any struggle (n the draconic kingdom is rarely explored beyond a few passages). Similarly while he's carrying a box from the princess to the priory, he gets attacked by a wyrm and is conveniently found by a friendly mythical animal who not only saves him but also takes him to the priory (n they don't face any other struggle in the middle). Same way, a civil war was hinted for so long only to be thwarted in a very anticlimatic way before it could even start. Magical weapons are lost and found in the same page.

Passive characters: ties into the above point but everything is very conveniently set up for the characters and they rarely need to struggle. Most of the time they discover important stuff totally by chance or someone tells them everything. Tané finds a jewel stitched inside her body totally by chance, without no build up of it before

Weird queer setting: so like the book is queernorm, same sex relationships aren't looked down upon yet the marriage is between a male and female character tho the reason for that is given to be children.

#book review #books and reading #the priory of the orange tree #bush rambles books

[bushs-world]

Sylki Fic Recs - August 2023

So, I finally decided to go through the Sylki tag on AO3 and pull out some of my personal favorite Sylki fics! I may have missed a few, but from now on, when people ask me for fic recs, I'm just going to point them right here!

These are pretty much in descending word count order, since that's how I sorted them on AO3. And I think I stopped around 2k words, so things that are less than that don't appear.

(Fair warning: I included some of my own on there, too.)

Enjoy!

Epic Length fics (+100k) – Rated G-T

As Long As You're Mine by Shoalsandsuch*

Welcome to Westview by KaleidoscopeEyez

Heal The Cracks Within My Heart by Chipper99*

Gone, I'm Gone by Shoalsandsuch

Epic Length Fics – Rated M-E

Love & Mischief by Sasquita

The (Mis)Match by Sasquita

skin on skin by Palmarion

Becoming who I was never meant to be (But did anyway) by overIndulgence

A Promise of Peace by neonheartbeat

From Jotunheim With Love by kytsos, Wonderchild90*

Medium Length Multichapters (Up to 100k) – Rated G-T

Baton Pass! (Round 4) - Collab

Of Love and Daggers by litladyloveshp*

Sweet Nothings by Shoalsandsuch

Frost Queen - Collab

Pets are a reflection of the soul by overIndulgence

The Search: A Domestic Adventure by IngridGradient

Life is beautiful by Korsarri, Madam_Violet

Love Child by KaleidoscopeEyez

The Race To Your Heart by navy_bushes 

Sylki Advent Calendar (Baton Pass! Round 3) - Collab

Fire & Gasoline by BeanBarn*

The Lost Goddess by KaleidoscopeEyez

Vivaldi Doesn't Square Dance by LunarDust, preserumping

Somewhere Only We Know by KaleidoscopeEyez

Sylvie and The Beast - Collab

To Make a Heart Whole by Adrift_in_thyme, Aritou

Rotational Symmetry by Neolights, PinkCanary

Delicate by Shoalsandsuch

Loki Actually by Padawan_Writer 

Adventures in Lokisitting by KaleidoscopeEyez*

Our Shared Eternity - Collab

Medium Length Multichapters (Up to 100k) – Rated M-E

How Sweet It Is by Wonderchild90

Frost and Flame by professnerdiness

Into the half light (and through the flame) by BrightBlackTrees

RE: ARRANGEMENT by neonheartbeat

Wherever You Are by Aevianya

We'll Find A Way by professnerdiness

By the Glow of the Rune by IngridGradient

The Providence We Create by amadness2method (CynSyn), overIndulgence 

Perfect Partners by variant001*

Roots and Branches by PinkCanary

Like the Moon Needs Poetry by IngridGradient

Wings - Collab

Not as planned by StrangeNoise*

Seconds from destiny by PicassoPickle

An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) by nostalgia

Foundations by BumbleHumbleBee

The Edge of Disaster by PinkCanary

and when you start to feel the rush (a crimson headache, aching blush) by Palmarion

No Prisoners by preserumping

the right kind of madness by Palmarion

Technicolor Dreams by kytsos, Wonderchild90

We're Screwed by kimikokun

Sylki in Suburbia by The_Hourglass_Muse

The strangest power of all by StrangeNoise

Letters to my Beloved by AndySkull

drunk on you by Palmarion*

Concept Art by IngridGradient

The Learning Curve by kytsos*

To Be Felled by You by D_A_Cullum

Torn in Two by UnderwaterArch*

A Marriage Between Realms by professnerdiness

Back to Lamentis by TTerran*

Candy Crush by kytsos, Wonderchild90

i guess that's love (i can't pretend) by Palmarion

The Perfect Lie by Padawan_Writer

The Isle of Mists by preserumping 

When I'm around you by AndySkull

One-Shots – Rated G-T

Bright Purpose by daggerlovie

second nature by neonheartbeat

Cravings by KaleidoscopeEyez

Fire in the Sky by KaleidoscopeEyez 

Bleeding Hearts by Eithniel, KaleidoscopeEyez

Eyes by daggerlovie

The Loki Trap by KaleidoscopeEyez

10,000 Unhappy Meals by UnderwaterArch

all in the golden afternoon by Palmarion

Lamentis-1, 2077: A Return by KaleidoscopeEyez

Time Keeps on Slippin' (Into the Future) by KaleidoscopeEyez

One-Shots – Rated M-E

Insatiable by catalystcomet

slow (how you wanted it to be) by PinkCanary

the word of your body by Palmarion

Crammed by catalystcomet

but you never go away (so I guess I gotta stay) by PinkCanary

The Prince, the Princess, and the Dozen Cupcakes by KaleidoscopeEyez

* Denotes an unfinished/ongoing fic

#proud to be on the list #sylki

[bushs-world]

GUGU MBATHA-RAW as RAVONNA RENSLAYER

LOKI SEASON 2 (2023) - Official Trailer

#loki season 2

[bushs-world]

Me if shipping Sylki and loving Sylvie was a job:

#sylki