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byeolbeloved · 26 days
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WAAAA YESSA YOU FLATTER ME TOO MUCH IM BLUSHING THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! IM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED IT <33
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Letters to Cupid -Kang Yeosang
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Pairings> soldier!yeosang x typist!reader
Genre> childhood friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, use of flashbacks, slightly suggestive, setting takes place around 18th century
Summary> for centuries, women named cupids worked as typists to write letters on behalf of senders who couldn't write themselves. You were always the writer but never the receiver for a love letter, yearning to be picked up by a knight. What you didn't expect was for this knight to have a familiar set of eyes, only this time lost from the innocence they once had.
Words from pupa : This fic is inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden! Also note that the writings in small italics are meant to be flashbacks. I had so much fun writing this so I really hope you enjoy it <3 The picture is also fanart I made myself hehe so I hope you like that too ^^
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The typewriter clicked away, following a warm melody of the woman reminiscing her adventures with the other piece of her that is now battling the screams and horror of man. The warm scenery of her words contrasted the thunderous roars outside. The weather had no mercy on lovers under the moonlight.
"Please tell him I love him and I'll always be waiting for him" the woman said glass eyed. 
She's a gorgeous woman, with light make up and well done hair, although judging from the purple under her eyes you can tell she's had restless nights, tearful even, by her pink nose that was already prominent as she walked through the door. 
You always thought about how hard it must be to have your lover be in the military. You've seen many cases of these couples working as a typist. You had at least 10 letters a day of women writing to their husbands on how badly they miss them, some not knowing their ashes have become part of the land they fight to protect. 
"He will appreciate this letter dearly, Elenor. I will make sure to send it out by Friday" you say with a smile embossing a wax seal on the letter.
"Oh thank you Cupid. I was never good at using the typewriter so when an old friend told me about you I practically came here as fast as I could. It's been a month since he's been away, we've never been separated for this long.." 
"It must be so hard for you both. He'll be just fine El... I see the love in your eyes, he'll come back to them"
Education was a privilege, hence the reason why so many people were illiterate. For centuries women named "Cupids" wrote letters on behalf of senders who weren't able to write to their loved ones themselves or simply didn't know how to express their emotions on paper. It started from a voluntary organisation but has now turned into a whole company, well known throughout the land. 
You were born into the world of literature. Your father was a writer and your mother was a book illustrator. Work being the opening chapter for their own love story. From the moment you were born, books heavily dominated your life. Literally. Because even from the scene of your birth, where your mother delivered you unexpectedly at the house you grew up in, you were wrapped in ripped pages from books- that being the first thing they could grab instead of a blanket at such a chaotic scene of panic. 
You grew up with your mother reading you books and you accompanied your father while he wrote. Although you loved literature, writing your own book wasn't something you saw yourself doing. You much preferred experiencing a realistic event rather than coming up with a story, which is why you fell in love with this job.
You get to write true emotion while hearing another person's story and relationships. And you were clearly good at portraying what people wanted to express as you had tons of people personally asking for you to write for them.
Love; a topic you could rant on and on about. You dreamt about being picked up by a knight, running away from reality just to intertwine in each other's soul.  
However, you weren't such a hopeless romantic as you were very selective with the guys you talked to, let alone dated. No one has ever made you feel like a princess getting saved by the prince. Maybe reality isn't like the books, however, you felt that there must be someone in this lifetime who could make you feel like that.
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The night was dark. Dark as the swelling wave of the ocean before the rising winds, when it bends its head near the coast. Rain fell hard against the concrete floor and the wind was so sharp it could cut you. 
The girl shut her eyes, trying to count sheep to calm her heartbeat but the sound of the rain only pictured her sheep drowning in the night alongside her.
"The rain won't get us here" spoke the boy, flashing her a smile that emphasized the pink red mark by his left eye. The red mark he told her was from a kiss from cupid after she pointed out how it looked like a heart. They were under the awning of a closed store.
"The rain is scary Yeosang" she frowned.
"It's only water" he held his hand out to the rain and let it get wet "see? I'm fine" 
"I know but I don't like the noises" 
"Then don't listen to the noises. You can just listen to me" he wiped his wet hand on the side of his pants and grabbed onto hers.
"I will protect you from the rain. I promise I will always hold your hand when it rains Y/N"
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“Sorry I’m late, I just finished up with my last client for the day. Did I miss anything?” you place down your coat on the chair back.
“Only Jia swooning over mailman Tony again” Sakura chuckled while sipping her coffee.
“Seriously, when are you going to make a move? He might be single” Maya continued mouthful with a sandwich.
“Oh shush there shall be no romance at work. We have a business relationship and that’s how it’s going to stay. Now let’s get started with the meeting so we can head home before the weather gets worse.” Jia snaps and everyone hides their smiles at her shyness.
“Okay, this meeting is to just remind everyone about plans for next week. We will be accompanying commander Chan- everyone remembers him right? From last year. We will be writing letters for his unit, he has a different unit now. Make sure to pack warm clothes sinc-”
“Since there will be lower temperature in the North” Sakura and Maya said together in a monotone voice. “We’ve done this before Jia we knowww~” Sakura whines.
“Just relax and look out for the hot single soldiers” Maya giggles to Sakura who is now poking at Jia’s side.
“Business! This is business guys! We're going there for work. Plus, these hot guys are depending on us to bring back their messages to their families. No fooling around” Jia makes clear.
Once a year your team will visit military camps to write for soldiers. You’re usually there for 3 days excluding travel. Apart from some of the men being touch starved and looking as if they’ve never seen a woman in their life- most of them are really nice. Last time they even set out a mini farewell and thank you party before your departure.
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The crisp sound of snow beneath your feet and cold sensation on your nose definitely woke you up from your nap on the way here. It actually felt quite nice, your surroundings bright from the white snow despite the sun not yet risen and the cold air felt like a splash of water to your face in the early morning. All nice except for the sound of Sakura and Maya’s whines from how their boots weren’t fit for the snow. This is exactly why Jia spent so much time whining about clothing. 
The soldiers shared cabins or tents. You girls too got your own cabin to share- unfortunately quite small so you’ll have to put up with Maya’s snores throughout the night, however big enough for the 4 of you. The main area had its own cabin. That’s where the soldiers mostly hang out and eat. 
As you girls made your way to the main area, commander Chan introduced you to everyone. There seemed to be at least 40 men in there, thankfully all divided into units so it was easier to organise when you’ll be working with who. 
Everyone gave you a warm welcome. You girls spent the first hour chatting with some of them, or you could say flirting for Maya and Sakura, before going into your cabin and unpacking your stuff.
Everyone was really sweet. Two soldiers, a long haired guy with a mole under his eye and another slightly taller than him with a dorito-like physique showed you around the area and let you know the schedule for breakfast, training and lunch. The area was quite open, you could see yourself getting comfortable here as it was very quiet. However, during all this you felt a pair of eyes on you. Though looking around you never saw anyone who could be staring.
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“Slow down Yeo! It’s really rocky here” the little girl pants, trying to keep up with the energetic boy in front of her. He’s practically waddling like an excited maltese dog that’s about to get a treat.
“Just a little more, come on!” he grabs onto her hand speeding up her steps, now reaching his pace.
The two youngsters reach the top of the hill, overlooking the dazzling sight of flowers in different shapes and colours spread out across the field. 
The girl lets out a gasp eyes sparkling “This is… what you wanted to show me?”
“What do you think?”
“Yeo this is…. Beautiful” her eyes scan across the field, completely forgetting the distant yelling from her mom she was worrying about 15 minutes ago from why she took so long to get back home after school. 
“It’s gorgeous” says the boy, but he’s not looking at the scenery of flowers. He’s looking directly at her. Swimming in the ocean of her sparkling eyes reflecting the warm colours from the sunset. 
You are gorgeous he thought to himself.
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The day was busy. Each unit who was on their breaks got their letters done and even though it was only day one, you managed to get lots done already. It was already pitch black outside and everyone was already tucked into their cabins.
Maybe you were still in work-mode but your body had no intentions to rest as you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bunk bed so you decided to take a step outside. You walked over to a corner with bright pink flowers contrasting the white snow, standing tall and so youthful.
“So beautiful…” you whispered, crouching to touch the soft pedals. They look like they have just bloomed. 
“Cyclamen” a deep voice from behind you startles you, letting out a light yelp from you as you turn around quickly. Your yelp almost turns into a loud gasp as you quickly identify the figure owning that deep voice. 
His hair is a light chocolate brown, long enough to be tucked behind his ears but not in a I haven’t thought about cutting my hair type of way- it was well maintained. He was taller than you but not enough so that you’re practically looking up. His body was clearly fit, arm muscles very prominent even from his camo print thick jacket. His skin was pale. So pale it looked like milk. So pale it emphasized the pink mark by his left eye.  
Kang Yeosang.
You had no doubt this was the same boy who used to have thick pitch black hair, sometimes patchy bangs from the self haircut his sister used to give him. The same boy who looked at everyone with sparkly eyes and clapped his hands together when he laughed. 
This was your Kang Yeosang.
“Those flowers are Cyclamen” he said expressionless, hands in his pockets. 
You don’t know if it's the cold air drying your eyes or your overwhelming emotion but you start to feel tears forming, so hot and full of sentiment they almost burn your skin. “Yeosang…?” you whisper but it comes out shaky. 
“They mostly bloom in cold weather” he says, still in the same stance.
“Are there any more flowers around here?” you sniffle out tilting your head.
“I’ve seen snow roses around here before. Would you like to see them with me someday?”
“I’d love to” you said with a smile, now earning a smile from him.
He takes his hands out of his pockets and steps closer to you, pulling you into a hug which you gracefully accept, your arms latching around his neck almost a bit too tight. 
“Hello Y/N” and that's your breaking point. You start sobbing into his chest muffling out I miss yous to which he responds with a hand on your head, caressing it gently. 
“I’m here”
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The walk was quiet and heavy. Each step representing minutes lost from each other.
The girl is the first to break the icy silence “can’t you wait at least till next year? We just graduated”
“Y/N this isn’t my choice to make, I don’t have any other choice. It’s what I’m supposed to do” the boy says against his wishes.
“When will I be able to see you again?” the girl now looks at him glass eyed.
“I don’t know” he lowers his head but quickly looks at her holding her hand. “Hey, no matter how long it will take, I will always be here, yea? I promise Y/N”
“Please don’t break that promise Yeo..”
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The following days you and Yeosang were practically glued together when you had the time. You caught up on each other's life events and even reminisced about your childhood together. It was almost like you were kids again, except you noticed how serious Yeosang is now.
You don’t expect him to have that same innocence as he had when you were younger. He’s a grown man now and also a soldier. Not a particularly happy go lucky type of job. However, apart from teeth smiles while covering his mouth with his hand, you haven’t heard him laugh yet. You missed it. You missed the days when you both ran around giggling at any little thing. Is that boy you loved, lost?
“But yea, let’s just say leaving a half opened can of soup in a tent for 2 weeks isn’t a great idea” he scratched his head and lightly chuckled.
You laughed at his stories with his cabinmates. So far he has only told you about silly fun stories with his friends, apart from him explaining the basic routine of what they do in training. You were glad he was able to make fond memories as a soldier, especially since you knew how nervous he was joining the military.
But something about you knew that wasn’t all. Has he really been doing well? What about the times he's been in battle? Has he been greatly injured before? Broken a bone maybe? Does he miss his family?
Did he ever think about you?
“Yeo…” you placed your spoon down. The main cabin was far too loud for both of you to have a conversation so you and him chose to stay in his tent for breakfast and dinners. His cabinmates barely stayed there unless it was for sleep so you had all the privacy you wanted. 
“How are you? Really”
“I’m doing well”
“No Yeo, I mean about everything. Do you like it here? Don’t you miss home?”
“Home? Well… Mom occasionally sends letters, I’ve visited sometimes but travel is so long I’d only have a day with them till I have to come back so… I’ve stopped visiting.” How long has it been since he’s had a home cooked meal?
“This definitely isn’t luxury heh, but I’m used to it Y/N. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing here”
“Do you ever think about… me? Us?” immediately his gaze softens to your words. This is probably the first time you’ve seen a genuine expression on his face since being here. His hand is gently placed on your thigh and he brings his face closer to you. 
“Of course Y/N, I told you I’ll always be here. I promised” his eyes burn into your soul and your gaze meets his birthmark. Your finger moves by itself and goes to gently touch it.
“I don’t see you anymore Yeosang… everything is so different”
“I know. It’s hard. This is all very hard but we are going to work this out Y/N” 
Your faces are so close together you can practically taste his breath. His eyes land to your lips and for a second you could see the pupils of his eyes grow. He slowly breaks the space between you and you close your eyes, expecting to feel a touch on your lips  until he breaks off the moment with a whisper “I want to write a letter.”
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“I don’t understand thissssss~ let’s just take a break” 
“We’ve already taken 2 breaks. Here, I started the first step for you, now remember what we did for question 6, it’s basically the same thing” the boy hands her the sheet of paper.
“Yeo I appreciate your help but maybe this is a sign from god that I should just give up on Math” the girl slouches on her seat kicking her feet.
“Math isn’t that hard, you just need to focus. Now come on we still have 5 pages left.”
“5 PAGES!? I might as well throw myself off the window” 
“If you finish this in the next hour” he leans in close to her ear “I might give you a kiss” he leans back to his chair with a smug look on his face.
You’d think the girl wore face paint on her face from the deep red that was now formed. Without a word she picks up a pencil and writes away on her paper. 
“Damn you Yeosang”
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Some people get frustrated with slow walkers in front of them, slow drivers or even someone talking way too calmly, but the way Yeosang is working the typewriter makes you want to snatch it from him and do the job yourself.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to write the letter for you?” 
“It’s fine I got this” he continues on with his slow pace.
“Who are you writing that letter to anyway?”
“Just someone”
“Who is just someone?”
“A person I know”
 “Who is this person you know?”
“You don’t know them”
“Pleaseee Yeooo~” you lean in closer to him “I’ll give you a kiss if you tell me who” you giggle remembering his little tactic he used to use on you in school.
“Mmmm I’ll think about it” you huff in frustration and he laughs. 
He laughs. 
Your worries of losing the boy you loved dearly completely vanished as you finally see that innocent boy back. His laugh sounded like the doorbell of a childhood house, where kids would run to see if daddy is home. The last bell ring at school, when kids ran home to show mommy what they drew. The sound of the ice cream truck song amplifying as it rolled up from down the street. The clicking sound of riding your first bike, parents cheering in the background for balancing without training wheels.
He sounded like childhood and you felt like a child again. 
In what felt like forever, Yeosang finished his letter. Sealing the paper into an envelope ready to be read by this mystery person you so badly wanted to know. 
“Okay I’ll take it and make sure to send it out. Make sure to write the address.” you reach your hand out but he doesn't move.
“Oh no I want to keep it”
“What?”
“I want to keep the letter.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to send it to that person?”
“Not yet.”
 “We can withhold it and send it at any given time you want”
“It’s fine, I’ll send it myself”
Him protecting this letter made you even more curious as to who it was for. Surely he didn’t just write something for fun. Who was this friend? Was it a girl? Or possibly a lover? Surely not. Especially not when he almost just kissed you a while ago. 
He promised. You’re just overthinking. Right?
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It was your last day with the soldiers. You only had a couple of letters to finish and by nightfall you and the girls were set off to travel back home. Absolute no bone in your body wanted to go back home. This meant being separated from Yeosang again and you weren’t ready to let him go yet, you only just reunited with him.
“Y/N, you have a visitor waiting” Maya points to the door, only to see Yeosang waiting for you. 
“I have a few more letters to write th-” you’re shushed by Maya when she lightly shoves you out of the room “Don’t worry, we got this, you go enjoy your last moments with lover boy” she whispers the last part although Yeosang surely heard judging by the way he looked away.
“Ooo he’s a shy lover boy too” Maya says before closing the door, you can still hear her giggles through the wall as you’re now left alone with Yeosang.
“Shall we go?” he quietly says. 
“Yeah, where are we going?” 
“You’ll see”
The two of you slowly walk side by side, occasionally bumping the sides of your arms. There isn’t much talking but the silence is comfortable. Almost too comfortable that you forget this is the last time you get to examine his features before the final goodbye for god knows how long it will be again.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Yeosang hands you a big white flower, a snow rose. “This is the snow rose I told you about” he said with a smile gently handing it over to you.
“Yeos-”
“Marry me Y/N”
What.
Time stops for a second. A long second. Even the birds stop chirping and the wind halts. You aren’t sure what just happened but your heart knows for sure that it’s a big deal as it beats so hard, destined to break out of you and reach his own, intertwining with his and merging into one. 
“What did you say?” you mutter quietly.
In contrast with your tone, Yeosang is confident. His chin is up high, shoulders back and there's a look in his eyes that show no sign of hesitation. 
“I want you to marry me Y/N” he takes a step closer, and another, and another, till you’re now backed up into the rough surface of a tree.
“I’m going to make this work, I’ll find a way to leave this place if I have to but Y/N, I can’t let you go again.” he cups your face gently and swipes his thumb across your cheek “I’m done keeping promises and making you wait, I want to be with you Y/N, only you” he rests his forehead against yours.
“Come home to me Yeosang” you breathe onto his lips before locking them together. 
Your lips dance together so full of passion and need it almost feels as if your bodies are intertwining into one. You feel his small smile through the kiss as you deepen it, locking your hands in his hair while his explores the sides of your body.
Cold air hits your belly as he lifts up your shirt to slide his hand against your skin, caressing your chest. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss you would have noticed that he was practically spelling his name across your chest with his hand movements.
Remembering that you both need to breathe, he’s the first to break the kiss. You’re both a panting mess but he manages you let out a chuckle “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes in every language Yeosang. I will marry you” you smile out taking in his lips once again.
You asked for a rose, but Yeosang gave you a whole garden.  
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Two years later
“Tell me Cupid, what should I tell her? I’m so scared. What if she’s waiting for another man?” the man from across you says, blowing his nose into his now 8th tissue in the past 10 minutes.
“Sir Walker, you clearly love her right?”
“Yes! Oh heavens more than anything, I-I’d kill for her, I’d crawl on my knees for he-” he sighs taking a breath “I don’t imagine a life without her”
“Then fight for her” you say softly.
“She’s lands away from me Cupid! How will I be a man to her if I cant even reach for her?”
“Make that happen. You said you would kill and crawl for her. Put actions to your words Sir Walker and show her you love her. You are living in the same lifetime, right here, right now, don’t regret your choices and lose her. She needs to see you fight for her” 
The man breaks down but looks up at you again, composing himself before saying “Have you experienced love Cupid?”
“Everyone experiences love. If not now, one day, just as you wait for love, there is another person waiting for the same. Everyone has someone awaiting them” you softly smile. 
“I’ll do it. Tell her I’m coming to get her. I’m not sure when but from today onwards, she will be my focus” the man lets out a broken smile. Broken yet mendable.
“She will be waiting for you Sir Walker” you say before typing away, a paragraph that awaits a new chapter for the couple.
Your night ends with that heartfelt love story. You hope the best for the couple and your heart nearly breaks with his as you also can’t help but think about your person you are waiting for. 
The weather outside is mean. Almost in hopes of drowning man in its rage. The thunder roars and you’re left counting sheep in your head- something you’ve been doing ever since you were a kid to calm down. 
As you’re walking out of the building Jia calls you from behind “Y/N you have a letter!”
She runs up to you and hands you the letter. “Who is this from?” you ask as you’ve never received a letter before. 
“Hm not sure” she looks into a room, clearly distracted by something, or someone as you look at the direction only to see the famous mailman who has been working here years before you joined the company- Tony.
“Um yea I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N I gotta go, bye! Let me know who that letter is from!” she says from a distance practically skipping her way to Tony,
You don't get the chance to even reply to her before she's gone. You look at the letter and there is no address to indicate where it was sent from, which could only mean this letter must have been dropped off by the sender here at the company.
You walk out the building, still sheltered from the awning covering you. Your steps are heavy, unable to move.
It's fine Y/N let's take this slow you thought to yourself deciding to just stand there for a while before making your way home.
You curiously open the letter and start reading it;
Dear Y/N,
How are you? I am writing this letter to you while you are right next to me. I hope you’re not mad about almost kissing you and asking to write a letter instead. It’s just that I wanted to capture my feelings towards you at this given moment, so we can hopefully both look back at this letter.
You asked me if I liked it here. I don’t. I hate the feeling of knowing every movement I make can be my last, and that I won’t be able to say my final goodbye to you. I hate that I go to sleep at night, responsible for another lost man from his lover. I wish I could be able to come home from work and tell you about my day. But what can I tell you? About how many screams I heard? How bloody my hands are after every battle? 
You asked me if I think about you. My answer is yes. Painfully yes. I always think about what you could be doing at any time. If you found yourself love. I worry everytime it rains, do you have anyone to hold your hand during thunderstorms? I force myself to repeat your voice in my head because I’m so afraid of forgetting what you sound like. I always remember about the day I took you to the flower field. You looked so beautiful in that moment. So everytime I find a flower, I make sure to stop and admire it, pretending it’s you. Because to me, you are far more beautiful than any flower out there. 
I will come home to you Y/N. I promised I would be there. I promised to hold your hand. And I will fulfil my promises, even if it means fighting for my life. 
Wait for me my love.
Love,
Yeosang. 
“Damn you Yeosang” you chuckled out, a crack in your voice causing tears to slip out. You look up to the sight of the man in reason for these tears. He’s still wearing his uniform, hat covering half his face. He seems to have gotten bigger in physique too. He drops his hat and you smile widely at the sight of his birthmark, now holding smiling eyes.
“It’s raining” he said, reaching out a hand “I’m here to hold your hand.”
You completely ignore the extended hand and crash your body into his for a tight hug. An embrace with no chance of him slipping out. 
“You came home” you said into his chest.
“I came to stay” 
“And to hold my hand” 
“And to hold your hand” he laughs out.
Yeosang was your childhood. Yeosang is your home.
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byeolbeloved · 26 days
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tags 🦢 @yessa-vie @stqxxyy-mxxn @cybrsan @megseungmin @fashionistamgw @rain77y @hcyaa @shley-chan @so-nyeon-dan @s3onghwaswifey @mxnary-blog @orangexing @ffenjoyerdazme @yourfavcarrot @joongteez @seventeenwritehere @a-tinycarat @ujiflower @pearltinyy
Letters to Cupid -Kang Yeosang
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Pairings> soldier!yeosang x typist!reader
Genre> childhood friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, use of flashbacks, slightly suggestive, setting takes place around 18th century
Summary> for centuries, women named cupids worked as typists to write letters on behalf of senders who couldn't write themselves. You were always the writer but never the receiver for a love letter, yearning to be picked up by a knight. What you didn't expect was for this knight to have a familiar set of eyes, only this time lost from the innocence they once had.
Words from pupa : This fic is inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden! Also note that the writings in small italics are meant to be flashbacks. I had so much fun writing this so I really hope you enjoy it <3 The picture is also fanart I made myself hehe so I hope you like that too ^^
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The typewriter clicked away, following a warm melody of the woman reminiscing her adventures with the other piece of her that is now battling the screams and horror of man. The warm scenery of her words contrasted the thunderous roars outside. The weather had no mercy on lovers under the moonlight.
"Please tell him I love him and I'll always be waiting for him" the woman said glass eyed. 
She's a gorgeous woman, with light make up and well done hair, although judging from the purple under her eyes you can tell she's had restless nights, tearful even, by her pink nose that was already prominent as she walked through the door. 
You always thought about how hard it must be to have your lover be in the military. You've seen many cases of these couples working as a typist. You had at least 10 letters a day of women writing to their husbands on how badly they miss them, some not knowing their ashes have become part of the land they fight to protect. 
"He will appreciate this letter dearly, Elenor. I will make sure to send it out by Friday" you say with a smile embossing a wax seal on the letter.
"Oh thank you Cupid. I was never good at using the typewriter so when an old friend told me about you I practically came here as fast as I could. It's been a month since he's been away, we've never been separated for this long.." 
"It must be so hard for you both. He'll be just fine El... I see the love in your eyes, he'll come back to them"
Education was a privilege, hence the reason why so many people were illiterate. For centuries women named "Cupids" wrote letters on behalf of senders who weren't able to write to their loved ones themselves or simply didn't know how to express their emotions on paper. It started from a voluntary organisation but has now turned into a whole company, well known throughout the land. 
You were born into the world of literature. Your father was a writer and your mother was a book illustrator. Work being the opening chapter for their own love story. From the moment you were born, books heavily dominated your life. Literally. Because even from the scene of your birth, where your mother delivered you unexpectedly at the house you grew up in, you were wrapped in ripped pages from books- that being the first thing they could grab instead of a blanket at such a chaotic scene of panic. 
You grew up with your mother reading you books and you accompanied your father while he wrote. Although you loved literature, writing your own book wasn't something you saw yourself doing. You much preferred experiencing a realistic event rather than coming up with a story, which is why you fell in love with this job.
You get to write true emotion while hearing another person's story and relationships. And you were clearly good at portraying what people wanted to express as you had tons of people personally asking for you to write for them.
Love; a topic you could rant on and on about. You dreamt about being picked up by a knight, running away from reality just to intertwine in each other's soul.  
However, you weren't such a hopeless romantic as you were very selective with the guys you talked to, let alone dated. No one has ever made you feel like a princess getting saved by the prince. Maybe reality isn't like the books, however, you felt that there must be someone in this lifetime who could make you feel like that.
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The night was dark. Dark as the swelling wave of the ocean before the rising winds, when it bends its head near the coast. Rain fell hard against the concrete floor and the wind was so sharp it could cut you. 
The girl shut her eyes, trying to count sheep to calm her heartbeat but the sound of the rain only pictured her sheep drowning in the night alongside her.
"The rain won't get us here" spoke the boy, flashing her a smile that emphasized the pink red mark by his left eye. The red mark he told her was from a kiss from cupid after she pointed out how it looked like a heart. They were under the awning of a closed store.
"The rain is scary Yeosang" she frowned.
"It's only water" he held his hand out to the rain and let it get wet "see? I'm fine" 
"I know but I don't like the noises" 
"Then don't listen to the noises. You can just listen to me" he wiped his wet hand on the side of his pants and grabbed onto hers.
"I will protect you from the rain. I promise I will always hold your hand when it rains Y/N"
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“Sorry I’m late, I just finished up with my last client for the day. Did I miss anything?” you place down your coat on the chair back.
“Only Jia swooning over mailman Tony again” Sakura chuckled while sipping her coffee.
“Seriously, when are you going to make a move? He might be single” Maya continued mouthful with a sandwich.
“Oh shush there shall be no romance at work. We have a business relationship and that’s how it’s going to stay. Now let’s get started with the meeting so we can head home before the weather gets worse.” Jia snaps and everyone hides their smiles at her shyness.
“Okay, this meeting is to just remind everyone about plans for next week. We will be accompanying commander Chan- everyone remembers him right? From last year. We will be writing letters for his unit, he has a different unit now. Make sure to pack warm clothes sinc-”
“Since there will be lower temperature in the North” Sakura and Maya said together in a monotone voice. “We’ve done this before Jia we knowww~” Sakura whines.
“Just relax and look out for the hot single soldiers” Maya giggles to Sakura who is now poking at Jia’s side.
“Business! This is business guys! We're going there for work. Plus, these hot guys are depending on us to bring back their messages to their families. No fooling around” Jia makes clear.
Once a year your team will visit military camps to write for soldiers. You’re usually there for 3 days excluding travel. Apart from some of the men being touch starved and looking as if they’ve never seen a woman in their life- most of them are really nice. Last time they even set out a mini farewell and thank you party before your departure.
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The crisp sound of snow beneath your feet and cold sensation on your nose definitely woke you up from your nap on the way here. It actually felt quite nice, your surroundings bright from the white snow despite the sun not yet risen and the cold air felt like a splash of water to your face in the early morning. All nice except for the sound of Sakura and Maya’s whines from how their boots weren’t fit for the snow. This is exactly why Jia spent so much time whining about clothing. 
The soldiers shared cabins or tents. You girls too got your own cabin to share- unfortunately quite small so you’ll have to put up with Maya’s snores throughout the night, however big enough for the 4 of you. The main area had its own cabin. That’s where the soldiers mostly hang out and eat. 
As you girls made your way to the main area, commander Chan introduced you to everyone. There seemed to be at least 40 men in there, thankfully all divided into units so it was easier to organise when you’ll be working with who. 
Everyone gave you a warm welcome. You girls spent the first hour chatting with some of them, or you could say flirting for Maya and Sakura, before going into your cabin and unpacking your stuff.
Everyone was really sweet. Two soldiers, a long haired guy with a mole under his eye and another slightly taller than him with a dorito-like physique showed you around the area and let you know the schedule for breakfast, training and lunch. The area was quite open, you could see yourself getting comfortable here as it was very quiet. However, during all this you felt a pair of eyes on you. Though looking around you never saw anyone who could be staring.
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“Slow down Yeo! It’s really rocky here” the little girl pants, trying to keep up with the energetic boy in front of her. He’s practically waddling like an excited maltese dog that’s about to get a treat.
“Just a little more, come on!” he grabs onto her hand speeding up her steps, now reaching his pace.
The two youngsters reach the top of the hill, overlooking the dazzling sight of flowers in different shapes and colours spread out across the field. 
The girl lets out a gasp eyes sparkling “This is… what you wanted to show me?”
“What do you think?”
“Yeo this is…. Beautiful” her eyes scan across the field, completely forgetting the distant yelling from her mom she was worrying about 15 minutes ago from why she took so long to get back home after school. 
“It’s gorgeous” says the boy, but he’s not looking at the scenery of flowers. He’s looking directly at her. Swimming in the ocean of her sparkling eyes reflecting the warm colours from the sunset. 
You are gorgeous he thought to himself.
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The day was busy. Each unit who was on their breaks got their letters done and even though it was only day one, you managed to get lots done already. It was already pitch black outside and everyone was already tucked into their cabins.
Maybe you were still in work-mode but your body had no intentions to rest as you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bunk bed so you decided to take a step outside. You walked over to a corner with bright pink flowers contrasting the white snow, standing tall and so youthful.
“So beautiful…” you whispered, crouching to touch the soft pedals. They look like they have just bloomed. 
“Cyclamen” a deep voice from behind you startles you, letting out a light yelp from you as you turn around quickly. Your yelp almost turns into a loud gasp as you quickly identify the figure owning that deep voice. 
His hair is a light chocolate brown, long enough to be tucked behind his ears but not in a I haven’t thought about cutting my hair type of way- it was well maintained. He was taller than you but not enough so that you’re practically looking up. His body was clearly fit, arm muscles very prominent even from his camo print thick jacket. His skin was pale. So pale it looked like milk. So pale it emphasized the pink mark by his left eye.  
Kang Yeosang.
You had no doubt this was the same boy who used to have thick pitch black hair, sometimes patchy bangs from the self haircut his sister used to give him. The same boy who looked at everyone with sparkly eyes and clapped his hands together when he laughed. 
This was your Kang Yeosang.
“Those flowers are Cyclamen” he said expressionless, hands in his pockets. 
You don’t know if it's the cold air drying your eyes or your overwhelming emotion but you start to feel tears forming, so hot and full of sentiment they almost burn your skin. “Yeosang…?” you whisper but it comes out shaky. 
“They mostly bloom in cold weather” he says, still in the same stance.
“Are there any more flowers around here?” you sniffle out tilting your head.
“I’ve seen snow roses around here before. Would you like to see them with me someday?”
“I’d love to” you said with a smile, now earning a smile from him.
He takes his hands out of his pockets and steps closer to you, pulling you into a hug which you gracefully accept, your arms latching around his neck almost a bit too tight. 
“Hello Y/N” and that's your breaking point. You start sobbing into his chest muffling out I miss yous to which he responds with a hand on your head, caressing it gently. 
“I’m here”
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The walk was quiet and heavy. Each step representing minutes lost from each other.
The girl is the first to break the icy silence “can’t you wait at least till next year? We just graduated”
“Y/N this isn’t my choice to make, I don’t have any other choice. It’s what I’m supposed to do” the boy says against his wishes.
“When will I be able to see you again?” the girl now looks at him glass eyed.
“I don’t know” he lowers his head but quickly looks at her holding her hand. “Hey, no matter how long it will take, I will always be here, yea? I promise Y/N”
“Please don’t break that promise Yeo..”
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The following days you and Yeosang were practically glued together when you had the time. You caught up on each other's life events and even reminisced about your childhood together. It was almost like you were kids again, except you noticed how serious Yeosang is now.
You don’t expect him to have that same innocence as he had when you were younger. He’s a grown man now and also a soldier. Not a particularly happy go lucky type of job. However, apart from teeth smiles while covering his mouth with his hand, you haven’t heard him laugh yet. You missed it. You missed the days when you both ran around giggling at any little thing. Is that boy you loved, lost?
“But yea, let’s just say leaving a half opened can of soup in a tent for 2 weeks isn’t a great idea” he scratched his head and lightly chuckled.
You laughed at his stories with his cabinmates. So far he has only told you about silly fun stories with his friends, apart from him explaining the basic routine of what they do in training. You were glad he was able to make fond memories as a soldier, especially since you knew how nervous he was joining the military.
But something about you knew that wasn’t all. Has he really been doing well? What about the times he's been in battle? Has he been greatly injured before? Broken a bone maybe? Does he miss his family?
Did he ever think about you?
“Yeo…” you placed your spoon down. The main cabin was far too loud for both of you to have a conversation so you and him chose to stay in his tent for breakfast and dinners. His cabinmates barely stayed there unless it was for sleep so you had all the privacy you wanted. 
“How are you? Really”
“I’m doing well”
“No Yeo, I mean about everything. Do you like it here? Don’t you miss home?”
“Home? Well… Mom occasionally sends letters, I’ve visited sometimes but travel is so long I’d only have a day with them till I have to come back so… I’ve stopped visiting.” How long has it been since he’s had a home cooked meal?
“This definitely isn’t luxury heh, but I’m used to it Y/N. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing here”
“Do you ever think about… me? Us?” immediately his gaze softens to your words. This is probably the first time you’ve seen a genuine expression on his face since being here. His hand is gently placed on your thigh and he brings his face closer to you. 
“Of course Y/N, I told you I’ll always be here. I promised” his eyes burn into your soul and your gaze meets his birthmark. Your finger moves by itself and goes to gently touch it.
“I don’t see you anymore Yeosang… everything is so different”
“I know. It’s hard. This is all very hard but we are going to work this out Y/N” 
Your faces are so close together you can practically taste his breath. His eyes land to your lips and for a second you could see the pupils of his eyes grow. He slowly breaks the space between you and you close your eyes, expecting to feel a touch on your lips  until he breaks off the moment with a whisper “I want to write a letter.”
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“I don’t understand thissssss~ let’s just take a break” 
“We’ve already taken 2 breaks. Here, I started the first step for you, now remember what we did for question 6, it’s basically the same thing” the boy hands her the sheet of paper.
“Yeo I appreciate your help but maybe this is a sign from god that I should just give up on Math” the girl slouches on her seat kicking her feet.
“Math isn’t that hard, you just need to focus. Now come on we still have 5 pages left.”
“5 PAGES!? I might as well throw myself off the window” 
“If you finish this in the next hour” he leans in close to her ear “I might give you a kiss” he leans back to his chair with a smug look on his face.
You’d think the girl wore face paint on her face from the deep red that was now formed. Without a word she picks up a pencil and writes away on her paper. 
“Damn you Yeosang”
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Some people get frustrated with slow walkers in front of them, slow drivers or even someone talking way too calmly, but the way Yeosang is working the typewriter makes you want to snatch it from him and do the job yourself.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to write the letter for you?” 
“It’s fine I got this” he continues on with his slow pace.
“Who are you writing that letter to anyway?”
“Just someone”
“Who is just someone?”
“A person I know”
 “Who is this person you know?”
“You don’t know them”
“Pleaseee Yeooo~” you lean in closer to him “I’ll give you a kiss if you tell me who” you giggle remembering his little tactic he used to use on you in school.
“Mmmm I’ll think about it” you huff in frustration and he laughs. 
He laughs. 
Your worries of losing the boy you loved dearly completely vanished as you finally see that innocent boy back. His laugh sounded like the doorbell of a childhood house, where kids would run to see if daddy is home. The last bell ring at school, when kids ran home to show mommy what they drew. The sound of the ice cream truck song amplifying as it rolled up from down the street. The clicking sound of riding your first bike, parents cheering in the background for balancing without training wheels.
He sounded like childhood and you felt like a child again. 
In what felt like forever, Yeosang finished his letter. Sealing the paper into an envelope ready to be read by this mystery person you so badly wanted to know. 
“Okay I’ll take it and make sure to send it out. Make sure to write the address.” you reach your hand out but he doesn't move.
“Oh no I want to keep it”
“What?”
“I want to keep the letter.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to send it to that person?”
“Not yet.”
 “We can withhold it and send it at any given time you want”
“It’s fine, I’ll send it myself”
Him protecting this letter made you even more curious as to who it was for. Surely he didn’t just write something for fun. Who was this friend? Was it a girl? Or possibly a lover? Surely not. Especially not when he almost just kissed you a while ago. 
He promised. You’re just overthinking. Right?
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It was your last day with the soldiers. You only had a couple of letters to finish and by nightfall you and the girls were set off to travel back home. Absolute no bone in your body wanted to go back home. This meant being separated from Yeosang again and you weren’t ready to let him go yet, you only just reunited with him.
“Y/N, you have a visitor waiting” Maya points to the door, only to see Yeosang waiting for you. 
“I have a few more letters to write th-” you’re shushed by Maya when she lightly shoves you out of the room “Don’t worry, we got this, you go enjoy your last moments with lover boy” she whispers the last part although Yeosang surely heard judging by the way he looked away.
“Ooo he’s a shy lover boy too” Maya says before closing the door, you can still hear her giggles through the wall as you’re now left alone with Yeosang.
“Shall we go?” he quietly says. 
“Yeah, where are we going?” 
“You’ll see”
The two of you slowly walk side by side, occasionally bumping the sides of your arms. There isn’t much talking but the silence is comfortable. Almost too comfortable that you forget this is the last time you get to examine his features before the final goodbye for god knows how long it will be again.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Yeosang hands you a big white flower, a snow rose. “This is the snow rose I told you about” he said with a smile gently handing it over to you.
“Yeos-”
“Marry me Y/N”
What.
Time stops for a second. A long second. Even the birds stop chirping and the wind halts. You aren’t sure what just happened but your heart knows for sure that it’s a big deal as it beats so hard, destined to break out of you and reach his own, intertwining with his and merging into one. 
“What did you say?” you mutter quietly.
In contrast with your tone, Yeosang is confident. His chin is up high, shoulders back and there's a look in his eyes that show no sign of hesitation. 
“I want you to marry me Y/N” he takes a step closer, and another, and another, till you’re now backed up into the rough surface of a tree.
“I’m going to make this work, I’ll find a way to leave this place if I have to but Y/N, I can’t let you go again.” he cups your face gently and swipes his thumb across your cheek “I’m done keeping promises and making you wait, I want to be with you Y/N, only you” he rests his forehead against yours.
“Come home to me Yeosang” you breathe onto his lips before locking them together. 
Your lips dance together so full of passion and need it almost feels as if your bodies are intertwining into one. You feel his small smile through the kiss as you deepen it, locking your hands in his hair while his explores the sides of your body.
Cold air hits your belly as he lifts up your shirt to slide his hand against your skin, caressing your chest. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss you would have noticed that he was practically spelling his name across your chest with his hand movements.
Remembering that you both need to breathe, he’s the first to break the kiss. You’re both a panting mess but he manages you let out a chuckle “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes in every language Yeosang. I will marry you” you smile out taking in his lips once again.
You asked for a rose, but Yeosang gave you a whole garden.  
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Two years later
“Tell me Cupid, what should I tell her? I’m so scared. What if she’s waiting for another man?” the man from across you says, blowing his nose into his now 8th tissue in the past 10 minutes.
“Sir Walker, you clearly love her right?”
“Yes! Oh heavens more than anything, I-I’d kill for her, I’d crawl on my knees for he-” he sighs taking a breath “I don’t imagine a life without her”
“Then fight for her” you say softly.
“She’s lands away from me Cupid! How will I be a man to her if I cant even reach for her?”
“Make that happen. You said you would kill and crawl for her. Put actions to your words Sir Walker and show her you love her. You are living in the same lifetime, right here, right now, don’t regret your choices and lose her. She needs to see you fight for her” 
The man breaks down but looks up at you again, composing himself before saying “Have you experienced love Cupid?”
“Everyone experiences love. If not now, one day, just as you wait for love, there is another person waiting for the same. Everyone has someone awaiting them” you softly smile. 
“I’ll do it. Tell her I’m coming to get her. I’m not sure when but from today onwards, she will be my focus” the man lets out a broken smile. Broken yet mendable.
“She will be waiting for you Sir Walker” you say before typing away, a paragraph that awaits a new chapter for the couple.
Your night ends with that heartfelt love story. You hope the best for the couple and your heart nearly breaks with his as you also can’t help but think about your person you are waiting for. 
The weather outside is mean. Almost in hopes of drowning man in its rage. The thunder roars and you’re left counting sheep in your head- something you’ve been doing ever since you were a kid to calm down. 
As you’re walking out of the building Jia calls you from behind “Y/N you have a letter!”
She runs up to you and hands you the letter. “Who is this from?” you ask as you’ve never received a letter before. 
“Hm not sure” she looks into a room, clearly distracted by something, or someone as you look at the direction only to see the famous mailman who has been working here years before you joined the company- Tony.
“Um yea I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N I gotta go, bye! Let me know who that letter is from!” she says from a distance practically skipping her way to Tony,
You don't get the chance to even reply to her before she's gone. You look at the letter and there is no address to indicate where it was sent from, which could only mean this letter must have been dropped off by the sender here at the company.
You walk out the building, still sheltered from the awning covering you. Your steps are heavy, unable to move.
It's fine Y/N let's take this slow you thought to yourself deciding to just stand there for a while before making your way home.
You curiously open the letter and start reading it;
Dear Y/N,
How are you? I am writing this letter to you while you are right next to me. I hope you’re not mad about almost kissing you and asking to write a letter instead. It’s just that I wanted to capture my feelings towards you at this given moment, so we can hopefully both look back at this letter.
You asked me if I liked it here. I don’t. I hate the feeling of knowing every movement I make can be my last, and that I won’t be able to say my final goodbye to you. I hate that I go to sleep at night, responsible for another lost man from his lover. I wish I could be able to come home from work and tell you about my day. But what can I tell you? About how many screams I heard? How bloody my hands are after every battle? 
You asked me if I think about you. My answer is yes. Painfully yes. I always think about what you could be doing at any time. If you found yourself love. I worry everytime it rains, do you have anyone to hold your hand during thunderstorms? I force myself to repeat your voice in my head because I’m so afraid of forgetting what you sound like. I always remember about the day I took you to the flower field. You looked so beautiful in that moment. So everytime I find a flower, I make sure to stop and admire it, pretending it’s you. Because to me, you are far more beautiful than any flower out there. 
I will come home to you Y/N. I promised I would be there. I promised to hold your hand. And I will fulfil my promises, even if it means fighting for my life. 
Wait for me my love.
Love,
Yeosang. 
“Damn you Yeosang” you chuckled out, a crack in your voice causing tears to slip out. You look up to the sight of the man in reason for these tears. He’s still wearing his uniform, hat covering half his face. He seems to have gotten bigger in physique too. He drops his hat and you smile widely at the sight of his birthmark, now holding smiling eyes.
“It’s raining” he said, reaching out a hand “I’m here to hold your hand.”
You completely ignore the extended hand and crash your body into his for a tight hug. An embrace with no chance of him slipping out. 
“You came home” you said into his chest.
“I came to stay” 
“And to hold my hand” 
“And to hold your hand” he laughs out.
Yeosang was your childhood. Yeosang is your home.
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147 notes · View notes
byeolbeloved · 26 days
Text
Letters to Cupid -Kang Yeosang
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Pairings> soldier!yeosang x typist!reader
Genre> childhood friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, use of flashbacks, slightly suggestive, setting takes place around 18th century
Summary> for centuries, women named cupids worked as typists to write letters on behalf of senders who couldn't write themselves. You were always the writer but never the receiver for a love letter, yearning to be picked up by a knight. What you didn't expect was for this knight to have a familiar set of eyes, only this time lost from the innocence they once had.
Words from pupa : This fic is inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden! Also note that the writings in small italics are meant to be flashbacks. I had so much fun writing this so I really hope you enjoy it <3 The picture is also fanart I made myself hehe so I hope you like that too ^^
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The typewriter clicked away, following a warm melody of the woman reminiscing her adventures with the other piece of her that is now battling the screams and horror of man. The warm scenery of her words contrasted the thunderous roars outside. The weather had no mercy on lovers under the moonlight.
"Please tell him I love him and I'll always be waiting for him" the woman said glass eyed. 
She's a gorgeous woman, with light make up and well done hair, although judging from the purple under her eyes you can tell she's had restless nights, tearful even, by her pink nose that was already prominent as she walked through the door. 
You always thought about how hard it must be to have your lover be in the military. You've seen many cases of these couples working as a typist. You had at least 10 letters a day of women writing to their husbands on how badly they miss them, some not knowing their ashes have become part of the land they fight to protect. 
"He will appreciate this letter dearly, Elenor. I will make sure to send it out by Friday" you say with a smile embossing a wax seal on the letter.
"Oh thank you Cupid. I was never good at using the typewriter so when an old friend told me about you I practically came here as fast as I could. It's been a month since he's been away, we've never been separated for this long.." 
"It must be so hard for you both. He'll be just fine El... I see the love in your eyes, he'll come back to them"
Education was a privilege, hence the reason why so many people were illiterate. For centuries women named "Cupids" wrote letters on behalf of senders who weren't able to write to their loved ones themselves or simply didn't know how to express their emotions on paper. It started from a voluntary organisation but has now turned into a whole company, well known throughout the land. 
You were born into the world of literature. Your father was a writer and your mother was a book illustrator. Work being the opening chapter for their own love story. From the moment you were born, books heavily dominated your life. Literally. Because even from the scene of your birth, where your mother delivered you unexpectedly at the house you grew up in, you were wrapped in ripped pages from books- that being the first thing they could grab instead of a blanket at such a chaotic scene of panic. 
You grew up with your mother reading you books and you accompanied your father while he wrote. Although you loved literature, writing your own book wasn't something you saw yourself doing. You much preferred experiencing a realistic event rather than coming up with a story, which is why you fell in love with this job.
You get to write true emotion while hearing another person's story and relationships. And you were clearly good at portraying what people wanted to express as you had tons of people personally asking for you to write for them.
Love; a topic you could rant on and on about. You dreamt about being picked up by a knight, running away from reality just to intertwine in each other's soul.  
However, you weren't such a hopeless romantic as you were very selective with the guys you talked to, let alone dated. No one has ever made you feel like a princess getting saved by the prince. Maybe reality isn't like the books, however, you felt that there must be someone in this lifetime who could make you feel like that.
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The night was dark. Dark as the swelling wave of the ocean before the rising winds, when it bends its head near the coast. Rain fell hard against the concrete floor and the wind was so sharp it could cut you. 
The girl shut her eyes, trying to count sheep to calm her heartbeat but the sound of the rain only pictured her sheep drowning in the night alongside her.
"The rain won't get us here" spoke the boy, flashing her a smile that emphasized the pink red mark by his left eye. The red mark he told her was from a kiss from cupid after she pointed out how it looked like a heart. They were under the awning of a closed store.
"The rain is scary Yeosang" she frowned.
"It's only water" he held his hand out to the rain and let it get wet "see? I'm fine" 
"I know but I don't like the noises" 
"Then don't listen to the noises. You can just listen to me" he wiped his wet hand on the side of his pants and grabbed onto hers.
"I will protect you from the rain. I promise I will always hold your hand when it rains Y/N"
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“Sorry I’m late, I just finished up with my last client for the day. Did I miss anything?” you place down your coat on the chair back.
“Only Jia swooning over mailman Tony again” Sakura chuckled while sipping her coffee.
“Seriously, when are you going to make a move? He might be single” Maya continued mouthful with a sandwich.
“Oh shush there shall be no romance at work. We have a business relationship and that’s how it’s going to stay. Now let’s get started with the meeting so we can head home before the weather gets worse.” Jia snaps and everyone hides their smiles at her shyness.
“Okay, this meeting is to just remind everyone about plans for next week. We will be accompanying commander Chan- everyone remembers him right? From last year. We will be writing letters for his unit, he has a different unit now. Make sure to pack warm clothes sinc-”
“Since there will be lower temperature in the North” Sakura and Maya said together in a monotone voice. “We’ve done this before Jia we knowww~” Sakura whines.
“Just relax and look out for the hot single soldiers” Maya giggles to Sakura who is now poking at Jia’s side.
“Business! This is business guys! We're going there for work. Plus, these hot guys are depending on us to bring back their messages to their families. No fooling around” Jia makes clear.
Once a year your team will visit military camps to write for soldiers. You’re usually there for 3 days excluding travel. Apart from some of the men being touch starved and looking as if they’ve never seen a woman in their life- most of them are really nice. Last time they even set out a mini farewell and thank you party before your departure.
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The crisp sound of snow beneath your feet and cold sensation on your nose definitely woke you up from your nap on the way here. It actually felt quite nice, your surroundings bright from the white snow despite the sun not yet risen and the cold air felt like a splash of water to your face in the early morning. All nice except for the sound of Sakura and Maya’s whines from how their boots weren’t fit for the snow. This is exactly why Jia spent so much time whining about clothing. 
The soldiers shared cabins or tents. You girls too got your own cabin to share- unfortunately quite small so you’ll have to put up with Maya’s snores throughout the night, however big enough for the 4 of you. The main area had its own cabin. That’s where the soldiers mostly hang out and eat. 
As you girls made your way to the main area, commander Chan introduced you to everyone. There seemed to be at least 40 men in there, thankfully all divided into units so it was easier to organise when you’ll be working with who. 
Everyone gave you a warm welcome. You girls spent the first hour chatting with some of them, or you could say flirting for Maya and Sakura, before going into your cabin and unpacking your stuff.
Everyone was really sweet. Two soldiers, a long haired guy with a mole under his eye and another slightly taller than him with a dorito-like physique showed you around the area and let you know the schedule for breakfast, training and lunch. The area was quite open, you could see yourself getting comfortable here as it was very quiet. However, during all this you felt a pair of eyes on you. Though looking around you never saw anyone who could be staring.
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“Slow down Yeo! It’s really rocky here” the little girl pants, trying to keep up with the energetic boy in front of her. He’s practically waddling like an excited maltese dog that’s about to get a treat.
“Just a little more, come on!” he grabs onto her hand speeding up her steps, now reaching his pace.
The two youngsters reach the top of the hill, overlooking the dazzling sight of flowers in different shapes and colours spread out across the field. 
The girl lets out a gasp eyes sparkling “This is… what you wanted to show me?”
“What do you think?”
“Yeo this is…. Beautiful” her eyes scan across the field, completely forgetting the distant yelling from her mom she was worrying about 15 minutes ago from why she took so long to get back home after school. 
“It’s gorgeous” says the boy, but he’s not looking at the scenery of flowers. He’s looking directly at her. Swimming in the ocean of her sparkling eyes reflecting the warm colours from the sunset. 
You are gorgeous he thought to himself.
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The day was busy. Each unit who was on their breaks got their letters done and even though it was only day one, you managed to get lots done already. It was already pitch black outside and everyone was already tucked into their cabins.
Maybe you were still in work-mode but your body had no intentions to rest as you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bunk bed so you decided to take a step outside. You walked over to a corner with bright pink flowers contrasting the white snow, standing tall and so youthful.
“So beautiful…” you whispered, crouching to touch the soft pedals. They look like they have just bloomed. 
“Cyclamen” a deep voice from behind you startles you, letting out a light yelp from you as you turn around quickly. Your yelp almost turns into a loud gasp as you quickly identify the figure owning that deep voice. 
His hair is a light chocolate brown, long enough to be tucked behind his ears but not in a I haven’t thought about cutting my hair type of way- it was well maintained. He was taller than you but not enough so that you’re practically looking up. His body was clearly fit, arm muscles very prominent even from his camo print thick jacket. His skin was pale. So pale it looked like milk. So pale it emphasized the pink mark by his left eye.  
Kang Yeosang.
You had no doubt this was the same boy who used to have thick pitch black hair, sometimes patchy bangs from the self haircut his sister used to give him. The same boy who looked at everyone with sparkly eyes and clapped his hands together when he laughed. 
This was your Kang Yeosang.
“Those flowers are Cyclamen” he said expressionless, hands in his pockets. 
You don’t know if it's the cold air drying your eyes or your overwhelming emotion but you start to feel tears forming, so hot and full of sentiment they almost burn your skin. “Yeosang…?” you whisper but it comes out shaky. 
“They mostly bloom in cold weather” he says, still in the same stance.
“Are there any more flowers around here?” you sniffle out tilting your head.
“I’ve seen snow roses around here before. Would you like to see them with me someday?”
“I’d love to” you said with a smile, now earning a smile from him.
He takes his hands out of his pockets and steps closer to you, pulling you into a hug which you gracefully accept, your arms latching around his neck almost a bit too tight. 
“Hello Y/N” and that's your breaking point. You start sobbing into his chest muffling out I miss yous to which he responds with a hand on your head, caressing it gently. 
“I’m here”
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The walk was quiet and heavy. Each step representing minutes lost from each other.
The girl is the first to break the icy silence “can’t you wait at least till next year? We just graduated”
“Y/N this isn’t my choice to make, I don’t have any other choice. It’s what I’m supposed to do” the boy says against his wishes.
“When will I be able to see you again?” the girl now looks at him glass eyed.
“I don’t know” he lowers his head but quickly looks at her holding her hand. “Hey, no matter how long it will take, I will always be here, yea? I promise Y/N”
“Please don’t break that promise Yeo..”
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The following days you and Yeosang were practically glued together when you had the time. You caught up on each other's life events and even reminisced about your childhood together. It was almost like you were kids again, except you noticed how serious Yeosang is now.
You don’t expect him to have that same innocence as he had when you were younger. He’s a grown man now and also a soldier. Not a particularly happy go lucky type of job. However, apart from teeth smiles while covering his mouth with his hand, you haven’t heard him laugh yet. You missed it. You missed the days when you both ran around giggling at any little thing. Is that boy you loved, lost?
“But yea, let’s just say leaving a half opened can of soup in a tent for 2 weeks isn’t a great idea” he scratched his head and lightly chuckled.
You laughed at his stories with his cabinmates. So far he has only told you about silly fun stories with his friends, apart from him explaining the basic routine of what they do in training. You were glad he was able to make fond memories as a soldier, especially since you knew how nervous he was joining the military.
But something about you knew that wasn’t all. Has he really been doing well? What about the times he's been in battle? Has he been greatly injured before? Broken a bone maybe? Does he miss his family?
Did he ever think about you?
“Yeo…” you placed your spoon down. The main cabin was far too loud for both of you to have a conversation so you and him chose to stay in his tent for breakfast and dinners. His cabinmates barely stayed there unless it was for sleep so you had all the privacy you wanted. 
“How are you? Really”
“I’m doing well”
“No Yeo, I mean about everything. Do you like it here? Don’t you miss home?”
“Home? Well… Mom occasionally sends letters, I’ve visited sometimes but travel is so long I’d only have a day with them till I have to come back so… I’ve stopped visiting.” How long has it been since he’s had a home cooked meal?
“This definitely isn’t luxury heh, but I’m used to it Y/N. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing here”
“Do you ever think about… me? Us?” immediately his gaze softens to your words. This is probably the first time you’ve seen a genuine expression on his face since being here. His hand is gently placed on your thigh and he brings his face closer to you. 
“Of course Y/N, I told you I’ll always be here. I promised” his eyes burn into your soul and your gaze meets his birthmark. Your finger moves by itself and goes to gently touch it.
“I don’t see you anymore Yeosang… everything is so different”
“I know. It’s hard. This is all very hard but we are going to work this out Y/N” 
Your faces are so close together you can practically taste his breath. His eyes land to your lips and for a second you could see the pupils of his eyes grow. He slowly breaks the space between you and you close your eyes, expecting to feel a touch on your lips  until he breaks off the moment with a whisper “I want to write a letter.”
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“I don’t understand thissssss~ let’s just take a break” 
“We’ve already taken 2 breaks. Here, I started the first step for you, now remember what we did for question 6, it’s basically the same thing” the boy hands her the sheet of paper.
“Yeo I appreciate your help but maybe this is a sign from god that I should just give up on Math” the girl slouches on her seat kicking her feet.
“Math isn’t that hard, you just need to focus. Now come on we still have 5 pages left.”
“5 PAGES!? I might as well throw myself off the window” 
“If you finish this in the next hour” he leans in close to her ear “I might give you a kiss” he leans back to his chair with a smug look on his face.
You’d think the girl wore face paint on her face from the deep red that was now formed. Without a word she picks up a pencil and writes away on her paper. 
“Damn you Yeosang”
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Some people get frustrated with slow walkers in front of them, slow drivers or even someone talking way too calmly, but the way Yeosang is working the typewriter makes you want to snatch it from him and do the job yourself.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to write the letter for you?” 
“It’s fine I got this” he continues on with his slow pace.
“Who are you writing that letter to anyway?”
“Just someone”
“Who is just someone?”
“A person I know”
 “Who is this person you know?”
“You don’t know them”
“Pleaseee Yeooo~” you lean in closer to him “I’ll give you a kiss if you tell me who” you giggle remembering his little tactic he used to use on you in school.
“Mmmm I’ll think about it” you huff in frustration and he laughs. 
He laughs. 
Your worries of losing the boy you loved dearly completely vanished as you finally see that innocent boy back. His laugh sounded like the doorbell of a childhood house, where kids would run to see if daddy is home. The last bell ring at school, when kids ran home to show mommy what they drew. The sound of the ice cream truck song amplifying as it rolled up from down the street. The clicking sound of riding your first bike, parents cheering in the background for balancing without training wheels.
He sounded like childhood and you felt like a child again. 
In what felt like forever, Yeosang finished his letter. Sealing the paper into an envelope ready to be read by this mystery person you so badly wanted to know. 
“Okay I’ll take it and make sure to send it out. Make sure to write the address.” you reach your hand out but he doesn't move.
“Oh no I want to keep it”
“What?”
“I want to keep the letter.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to send it to that person?”
“Not yet.”
 “We can withhold it and send it at any given time you want”
“It’s fine, I’ll send it myself”
Him protecting this letter made you even more curious as to who it was for. Surely he didn’t just write something for fun. Who was this friend? Was it a girl? Or possibly a lover? Surely not. Especially not when he almost just kissed you a while ago. 
He promised. You’re just overthinking. Right?
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It was your last day with the soldiers. You only had a couple of letters to finish and by nightfall you and the girls were set off to travel back home. Absolute no bone in your body wanted to go back home. This meant being separated from Yeosang again and you weren’t ready to let him go yet, you only just reunited with him.
“Y/N, you have a visitor waiting” Maya points to the door, only to see Yeosang waiting for you. 
“I have a few more letters to write th-” you’re shushed by Maya when she lightly shoves you out of the room “Don’t worry, we got this, you go enjoy your last moments with lover boy” she whispers the last part although Yeosang surely heard judging by the way he looked away.
“Ooo he’s a shy lover boy too” Maya says before closing the door, you can still hear her giggles through the wall as you’re now left alone with Yeosang.
“Shall we go?” he quietly says. 
“Yeah, where are we going?” 
“You’ll see”
The two of you slowly walk side by side, occasionally bumping the sides of your arms. There isn’t much talking but the silence is comfortable. Almost too comfortable that you forget this is the last time you get to examine his features before the final goodbye for god knows how long it will be again.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Yeosang hands you a big white flower, a snow rose. “This is the snow rose I told you about” he said with a smile gently handing it over to you.
“Yeos-”
“Marry me Y/N”
What.
Time stops for a second. A long second. Even the birds stop chirping and the wind halts. You aren’t sure what just happened but your heart knows for sure that it’s a big deal as it beats so hard, destined to break out of you and reach his own, intertwining with his and merging into one. 
“What did you say?” you mutter quietly.
In contrast with your tone, Yeosang is confident. His chin is up high, shoulders back and there's a look in his eyes that show no sign of hesitation. 
“I want you to marry me Y/N” he takes a step closer, and another, and another, till you’re now backed up into the rough surface of a tree.
“I’m going to make this work, I’ll find a way to leave this place if I have to but Y/N, I can’t let you go again.” he cups your face gently and swipes his thumb across your cheek “I’m done keeping promises and making you wait, I want to be with you Y/N, only you” he rests his forehead against yours.
“Come home to me Yeosang” you breathe onto his lips before locking them together. 
Your lips dance together so full of passion and need it almost feels as if your bodies are intertwining into one. You feel his small smile through the kiss as you deepen it, locking your hands in his hair while his explores the sides of your body.
Cold air hits your belly as he lifts up your shirt to slide his hand against your skin, caressing your chest. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss you would have noticed that he was practically spelling his name across your chest with his hand movements.
Remembering that you both need to breathe, he’s the first to break the kiss. You’re both a panting mess but he manages you let out a chuckle “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes in every language Yeosang. I will marry you” you smile out taking in his lips once again.
You asked for a rose, but Yeosang gave you a whole garden.  
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Two years later
“Tell me Cupid, what should I tell her? I’m so scared. What if she’s waiting for another man?” the man from across you says, blowing his nose into his now 8th tissue in the past 10 minutes.
“Sir Walker, you clearly love her right?”
“Yes! Oh heavens more than anything, I-I’d kill for her, I’d crawl on my knees for he-” he sighs taking a breath “I don’t imagine a life without her”
“Then fight for her” you say softly.
“She’s lands away from me Cupid! How will I be a man to her if I cant even reach for her?”
“Make that happen. You said you would kill and crawl for her. Put actions to your words Sir Walker and show her you love her. You are living in the same lifetime, right here, right now, don’t regret your choices and lose her. She needs to see you fight for her” 
The man breaks down but looks up at you again, composing himself before saying “Have you experienced love Cupid?”
“Everyone experiences love. If not now, one day, just as you wait for love, there is another person waiting for the same. Everyone has someone awaiting them” you softly smile. 
“I’ll do it. Tell her I’m coming to get her. I’m not sure when but from today onwards, she will be my focus” the man lets out a broken smile. Broken yet mendable.
“She will be waiting for you Sir Walker” you say before typing away, a paragraph that awaits a new chapter for the couple.
Your night ends with that heartfelt love story. You hope the best for the couple and your heart nearly breaks with his as you also can’t help but think about your person you are waiting for. 
The weather outside is mean. Almost in hopes of drowning man in its rage. The thunder roars and you’re left counting sheep in your head- something you’ve been doing ever since you were a kid to calm down. 
As you’re walking out of the building Jia calls you from behind “Y/N you have a letter!”
She runs up to you and hands you the letter. “Who is this from?” you ask as you’ve never received a letter before. 
“Hm not sure” she looks into a room, clearly distracted by something, or someone as you look at the direction only to see the famous mailman who has been working here years before you joined the company- Tony.
“Um yea I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N I gotta go, bye! Let me know who that letter is from!” she says from a distance practically skipping her way to Tony,
You don't get the chance to even reply to her before she's gone. You look at the letter and there is no address to indicate where it was sent from, which could only mean this letter must have been dropped off by the sender here at the company.
You walk out the building, still sheltered from the awning covering you. Your steps are heavy, unable to move.
It's fine Y/N let's take this slow you thought to yourself deciding to just stand there for a while before making your way home.
You curiously open the letter and start reading it;
Dear Y/N,
How are you? I am writing this letter to you while you are right next to me. I hope you’re not mad about almost kissing you and asking to write a letter instead. It’s just that I wanted to capture my feelings towards you at this given moment, so we can hopefully both look back at this letter.
You asked me if I liked it here. I don’t. I hate the feeling of knowing every movement I make can be my last, and that I won’t be able to say my final goodbye to you. I hate that I go to sleep at night, responsible for another lost man from his lover. I wish I could be able to come home from work and tell you about my day. But what can I tell you? About how many screams I heard? How bloody my hands are after every battle? 
You asked me if I think about you. My answer is yes. Painfully yes. I always think about what you could be doing at any time. If you found yourself love. I worry everytime it rains, do you have anyone to hold your hand during thunderstorms? I force myself to repeat your voice in my head because I’m so afraid of forgetting what you sound like. I always remember about the day I took you to the flower field. You looked so beautiful in that moment. So everytime I find a flower, I make sure to stop and admire it, pretending it’s you. Because to me, you are far more beautiful than any flower out there. 
I will come home to you Y/N. I promised I would be there. I promised to hold your hand. And I will fulfil my promises, even if it means fighting for my life. 
Wait for me my love.
Love,
Yeosang. 
“Damn you Yeosang” you chuckled out, a crack in your voice causing tears to slip out. You look up to the sight of the man in reason for these tears. He’s still wearing his uniform, hat covering half his face. He seems to have gotten bigger in physique too. He drops his hat and you smile widely at the sight of his birthmark, now holding smiling eyes.
“It’s raining” he said, reaching out a hand “I’m here to hold your hand.”
You completely ignore the extended hand and crash your body into his for a tight hug. An embrace with no chance of him slipping out. 
“You came home” you said into his chest.
“I came to stay” 
“And to hold my hand” 
“And to hold your hand” he laughs out.
Yeosang was your childhood. Yeosang is your home.
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byeolbeloved · 28 days
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happy to be apart of this list 🤭💕
moots list ❣
this is a list of my moots that i love with all my heart! go check their work, you will not regret it ❣
the list will start growing with time be patient i dont remember all my moots at once and I have horrible memory!
@cybrsan - 🐰
@straykidsholicleigh - 🍂
@wooyo-bae - 🤰
@double-knxtt - 🧚🏾‍♀️
@bro-atz - 😎
@itstheghostofmypast - 😼
@potatomountain - 🍓
@yourfatherlucifer - 🦊
@owlbeforesunset - 🌷
@hoshiseon - 🪐
@byeolbeloved - 🦢
@heihaneul - 🫧
anon list: 🌸
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byeolbeloved · 29 days
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Coming Monday 1st April~
Hihi!! This is my first time opening a taglist so let's hope this doesn't flop lol. This fic is inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden! Not sure what time I will be releasing it but expect it on Monday!
TAGLIST OPEN BELOW↷
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byeolbeloved · 1 month
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💌 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart, and if you get five back, you must be pretty awesome.💌
GASPPP MAYBE I CRIED 🥺💔
This is the sweetest thing ever omg thank you :(( I could say the same for youuu 💕 THANK YOU YESSA <333
#<3
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byeolbeloved · 1 month
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STAWPPPPP THE PRAISE 🙈 I'm glad you enjoyed it dear!!!
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Make me forget -choi san
pairings 》 mafia!san x reader
genre 》 mafia!au, smut, angst, tiny fluff, forbidden love
warnings 》 mention of guns/violence/blood/abuse, cheating (not on reader,) sexual content, MINORS DO NOT READ
summary 》 choi san was a cold, feared mafia boss who knew nothing outside the world of gore and killing. Thats when he met you, the girl who showed him love. But what stands in his way between having you to himself is his arranged marriage. That still does not stop his feelings for you.
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Everyone feared San.
Apart from him being in the Choi family- one of the biggest mafia family trees in the world, San was a nightmare. His reputation was filthy ever since he was young. He trashed anywhere he’d step foot at, petrified whoever he spoke to and spat on his victims lifeless bodies after smothering their blood onto the walls- all with an emotionless look on his face.
But San feared you.
He feared you because of how lovable you were. How easy you smiled to people. How you’d drop anything you were doing to help people. How you cried at other people's pains. But most importantly. He feared how you weren’t scared of him. He knew if he were to ever pull a gun to your head, which god dammit he would pull it to his after, you’d smile at him. That smile that made his black heart excited. The only smile he could smile back to. The only time he smiled.
It was moments like these where he’d realise, although he has seen all the horror and gore of the world, he knew nothing about living.
Laying you down on your baby pink bed sheets, throwing some plushies that got in the way off the bed for you to pick up later. Your bright bedroom. Your simple quiet life contrasted his. His life of screams and gunshots. He liked it. He loved it. Because with you he felt like a man able to feel. Able to love.
He didn’t think it was possible for a human being to be this cute. The way you whimpered at his nibbles and breath on your neck. Your back arched, full body touching his when he played with your nipples. Your trembling hands gliding his back when he connected his lips to yours.
Cute was never in San’s vocabulary. But ever since that day he saw you at the cafe, serving pancakes to a customer with a bright smile, holding your belly as you lightly giggled, he used that word for the first time in his life. “Cute.”
His legs moved on their own. His hand pushed the door open on its own. Suddenly there you were right in front of him, the same smile on your face as you asked what he wanted to order. Although now, he could see the way your cheeks puffed up with a light blush, your nose scrunched when thinking about what to make him when he told you to order for him, the way your eyes sparkled. So shiny he could see his reflection through them.
His dirty, filthy, monstrous reflection.
But that was far from what you thought of him, after you handed him a cappuccino with a cat drawn on the foam with cocoa powder. “No need to act tough, I know you think it’s cute too” you told him with a giggle. And yes. He thought it was very cute. He thought you were cute. You wouldn’t think a man dressed in an all black, gelled back hair, tough build with sharp facial features could be in a cafe with pink wallpapers and flowers decorated on the walls. But for the next 4 weeks, San came to your cafe everyday. Ordered the same things. Sat at the same table. He’d stay until closing time and you two chatted anytime you weren’t preoccupied with other customers or cleaning up. He was surprisingly very charming and funny considering his dark visuals. You naturally felt comfortable with him which led you to venting about anything and everything to him. Whether it was about how you think mint chocolate is underrated or how complicated your love life is. He listened to everything. Soon later he started dropping you off at your house. Always walking you up to your apartment and occasionally giving you a kiss goodnight on your forehead.
San was never this slow with anyone. He could get any girl he wanted just from eye contact. But with you, he wanted to be proper. He wanted to feel you slowly, afraid he might break you from how fragile you were. He wanted all of you. But there was something that got in his way from that.
San was a married man.
“Did she…. Did she do this to you?” you said with a horrified expression, afraid to touch the burn mark on his back. San sighed sitting up from the bed facing you. “Y/N… it’s nothing, I’m okay” he gilded his thumb across your swollen bottom lip from your makeout session a minute ago. “San, look at your back! You barely got any skin left!” you lightly raise your voice in concern. “You’re not going back to that house. You can’t let her do these things to you San, you can’t!”
Park Seoyoon. Daughter of Mr.Park- one of the most feared Mafia leaders in the game. She was a fox. Elegant on the outside. Everyone loved her because she was so beautiful and bubbly. Her pale-milky skin stood out from her dark black hair. She was tall and slim. Her face was next-level beauty- although also 50% cosmetic. Everyone thought of her as the perfect wife. But under that mask she was nothing but a sly manipulator and abuser who got whatever she wanted.
Their fathers arranged their marriage for money and power. Which is why they are so respected as a couple in the mafia world.
San hated her. Despised her. She’d bring home multiple guys throughout the day. She threw water at her servants. Her voice was obnoxiously loud and annoying.
The beginning stages of their marriage Seoyoon tried her best at seducing San. Only to get ignored by him so she did everything to ruin his life. She knew he could not fight back at her, because one word to daddy and San would be dead meat.
First it was teasing- hooking up with his friends and purposely getting herself into trouble. Then verbal abuse- which didn’t do much to him since San never reacted to harsh words so it quickly turned physical. Her tantrums included throwing plates in his way but this time was too far when she threw boiling hot water at him neglecting whatever she said she wanted.
“I want to help you Sannie…” you felt helpless seeing him come home with bruises you couldn’t stop him from getting.
“You’re doing enough Y/N, being in my arms is enough baby” he pulled you from your waist to move closer to his body, never breaking eye contact with you he tangled his hand into your hair. He has you on his lap now slowly grinding your bodies on one another.
“W-wanna make you feel good” your voice was above a whisper, gently gliding your nails on the back of his neck sending shivers down his spine.
“Make me forget Y/N… Make me forget her and show me you’re mine” he says before clashing his lips onto yours, not roughly but passionately with hunger, as if he has been starved from your touch for decades.
Clothes were off in seconds. Both of your body heat grinding on each other could start a fire. A fire that will destroy the world. Destroy this world for not allowing you two to write your story. For not allowing him to hold your hand out in public and show you off to all his friends. For not allowing you to show him off. For not allowing you to plan your kids names and whose eyes they’re going to have. San could burn the world for you. Maybe it would be better for you two. Maybe you could finally do the things you wanted to do.
That fire could turn the world into the sun after you slowly slide yourself on him. Adjusting to his length you rest your forehead on his and whisper “Use me San… I w-wanna be yours in every way…c-claim me.”
Without another word he pushes you up, only to guide you down again causing your whole body to shudder. This goes on till he’s now thrusting into you from below, grunting at every thrust.
Your body rocks at every thrust, holding onto his shoulder for support, hair bouncing as he moves the strands from out of your face, looking at you with nothing but pure love in contrast to the lustful movements he’s doing beneath you.
“You’re so good to me Y/N fuck mine. mine. all mine yea I don’t deserve you like this fuck”
He doesn’t mean it. San has never felt insecure in his life. But part of him hurts knowing he can’t be a normal lover to you. It hurts him that he can’t live a normal life with you- because his life is far from normal. You’ve told him many times in the past how you don’t care. You like the way things are between you two. Because you love him and that's enough for you. But part of him can’t believe he could ever be loved.
“I love you San” you manage to get out between moans. His pace is now rough, fast, hard. Your walls are clenching onto him. Afraid he’ll slip out. Afraid he’ll go. Afraid it’ll end. But he holds you. He pulls you closer to his chest, face in the crook of your neck as he bites down.
“I love you my Y/N”
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byeolbeloved · 1 month
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Waaa thank you I'm so glad you like it!! (i go crazy for a badboy goodgirl trope)
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imagine being in a secret relationship with badboy!san nsfw
badboy!san who's always distantly following and watching you go in and out of your lectures while he's skipping class.
badboy!san who will secretly follow you to the bookstore you work at and get turned on when your skirt hikes up when reaching for a book at a high shelf.
badboy!san who will wait for you outside to walk you back to your dorm, hand on your waist and his jacket on you to keep you warm "stay close I'll keep you warm." And of course, he wont wash that jacket any time soon now that your sweet scent is on it, instead he'll wear it the next day with confidence, getting a whiff of your perfume still stuck on it.
badboy!san who will quit smoking because one day you refused to hug him because of the smell "i smell good now baby i promise"
badboy!san who will kiss your hand all the way up to your arm and neck and whisper in your ear "you're my dirty secret."
badboy!san who will leave hickey trails all over your body, sometime in a shape of a heart, so that he'll always see his mark every time he has you.
badboy!san who will pound into you like he's snatching your innocence away from you whilst looking at you with the softest gaze.
badboy!san who will cuddle you after sex and spell out his name on your skin.
badboy!san who will slip out of his cold facade by imagining his life with you "My love is not romantic. I'm possessive, toxic, selfish and dark. But you. With you I want to go on all the cute dates, walk by the beach hand in hand and bake together while making a mess in the kitchen"
badboy!san who goes crazy thinking about you not being able to sleep unless he's gone off to your body being beneath him.
badboy!san who will one day loose control and storm to you grabbing you by the chin and kissing you infront of the entire school. Claiming you his.
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byeolbeloved · 1 month
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Gaspp thank you for 70 followers !!!! <3
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byeolbeloved · 1 month
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imagine being in a secret relationship with badboy!san nsfw
badboy!san who's always distantly following and watching you go in and out of your lectures while he's skipping class.
badboy!san who will secretly follow you to the bookstore you work at and get turned on when your skirt hikes up when reaching for a book at a high shelf.
badboy!san who will wait for you outside to walk you back to your dorm, hand on your waist and his jacket on you to keep you warm "stay close I'll keep you warm." And of course, he wont wash that jacket any time soon now that your sweet scent is on it, instead he'll wear it the next day with confidence, getting a whiff of your perfume still stuck on it.
badboy!san who will quit smoking because one day you refused to hug him because of the smell "i smell good now baby i promise"
badboy!san who will kiss your hand all the way up to your arm and neck and whisper in your ear "you're my dirty secret."
badboy!san who will leave hickey trails all over your body, sometime in a shape of a heart, so that he'll always see his mark every time he has you.
badboy!san who will pound into you like he's snatching your innocence away from you whilst looking at you with the softest gaze.
badboy!san who will cuddle you after sex and spell out his name on your skin.
badboy!san who will slip out of his cold facade by imagining his life with you "My love is not romantic. I'm possessive, toxic, selfish and dark. But you. With you I want to go on all the cute dates, walk by the beach hand in hand and bake together while making a mess in the kitchen"
badboy!san who goes crazy thinking about you not being able to sleep unless he's gone off to your body being beneath him.
badboy!san who will one day loose control and storm to you grabbing you by the chin and kissing you infront of the entire school. Claiming you his.
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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still figuring out tumblr. how do people make friends here 🧍‍♀️
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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this one is mine has 400+ notes ??????? im overwhelmed thank you once again 🙈
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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waaaa thank you for 200 notes on my san and yunho fic <//3 !!! if anyone would like to send in ideas for upcoming writings feel free!!!!
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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WAAAAA IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <\\3
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Make me forget -choi san
pairings 》 mafia!san x reader
genre 》 mafia!au, smut, angst, tiny fluff, forbidden love
warnings 》 mention of guns/violence/blood/abuse, cheating (not on reader,) sexual content, MINORS DO NOT READ
summary 》 choi san was a cold, feared mafia boss who knew nothing outside the world of gore and killing. Thats when he met you, the girl who showed him love. But what stands in his way between having you to himself is his arranged marriage. That still does not stop his feelings for you.
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Everyone feared San.
Apart from him being in the Choi family- one of the biggest mafia family trees in the world, San was a nightmare. His reputation was filthy ever since he was young. He trashed anywhere he’d step foot at, petrified whoever he spoke to and spat on his victims lifeless bodies after smothering their blood onto the walls- all with an emotionless look on his face.
But San feared you.
He feared you because of how lovable you were. How easy you smiled to people. How you’d drop anything you were doing to help people. How you cried at other people's pains. But most importantly. He feared how you weren’t scared of him. He knew if he were to ever pull a gun to your head, which god dammit he would pull it to his after, you’d smile at him. That smile that made his black heart excited. The only smile he could smile back to. The only time he smiled.
It was moments like these where he’d realise, although he has seen all the horror and gore of the world, he knew nothing about living.
Laying you down on your baby pink bed sheets, throwing some plushies that got in the way off the bed for you to pick up later. Your bright bedroom. Your simple quiet life contrasted his. His life of screams and gunshots. He liked it. He loved it. Because with you he felt like a man able to feel. Able to love.
He didn’t think it was possible for a human being to be this cute. The way you whimpered at his nibbles and breath on your neck. Your back arched, full body touching his when he played with your nipples. Your trembling hands gliding his back when he connected his lips to yours.
Cute was never in San’s vocabulary. But ever since that day he saw you at the cafe, serving pancakes to a customer with a bright smile, holding your belly as you lightly giggled, he used that word for the first time in his life. “Cute.”
His legs moved on their own. His hand pushed the door open on its own. Suddenly there you were right in front of him, the same smile on your face as you asked what he wanted to order. Although now, he could see the way your cheeks puffed up with a light blush, your nose scrunched when thinking about what to make him when he told you to order for him, the way your eyes sparkled. So shiny he could see his reflection through them.
His dirty, filthy, monstrous reflection.
But that was far from what you thought of him, after you handed him a cappuccino with a cat drawn on the foam with cocoa powder. “No need to act tough, I know you think it’s cute too” you told him with a giggle. And yes. He thought it was very cute. He thought you were cute. You wouldn’t think a man dressed in an all black, gelled back hair, tough build with sharp facial features could be in a cafe with pink wallpapers and flowers decorated on the walls. But for the next 4 weeks, San came to your cafe everyday. Ordered the same things. Sat at the same table. He’d stay until closing time and you two chatted anytime you weren’t preoccupied with other customers or cleaning up. He was surprisingly very charming and funny considering his dark visuals. You naturally felt comfortable with him which led you to venting about anything and everything to him. Whether it was about how you think mint chocolate is underrated or how complicated your love life is. He listened to everything. Soon later he started dropping you off at your house. Always walking you up to your apartment and occasionally giving you a kiss goodnight on your forehead.
San was never this slow with anyone. He could get any girl he wanted just from eye contact. But with you, he wanted to be proper. He wanted to feel you slowly, afraid he might break you from how fragile you were. He wanted all of you. But there was something that got in his way from that.
San was a married man.
“Did she…. Did she do this to you?” you said with a horrified expression, afraid to touch the burn mark on his back. San sighed sitting up from the bed facing you. “Y/N… it’s nothing, I’m okay” he gilded his thumb across your swollen bottom lip from your makeout session a minute ago. “San, look at your back! You barely got any skin left!” you lightly raise your voice in concern. “You’re not going back to that house. You can’t let her do these things to you San, you can’t!”
Park Seoyoon. Daughter of Mr.Park- one of the most feared Mafia leaders in the game. She was a fox. Elegant on the outside. Everyone loved her because she was so beautiful and bubbly. Her pale-milky skin stood out from her dark black hair. She was tall and slim. Her face was next-level beauty- although also 50% cosmetic. Everyone thought of her as the perfect wife. But under that mask she was nothing but a sly manipulator and abuser who got whatever she wanted.
Their fathers arranged their marriage for money and power. Which is why they are so respected as a couple in the mafia world.
San hated her. Despised her. She’d bring home multiple guys throughout the day. She threw water at her servants. Her voice was obnoxiously loud and annoying.
The beginning stages of their marriage Seoyoon tried her best at seducing San. Only to get ignored by him so she did everything to ruin his life. She knew he could not fight back at her, because one word to daddy and San would be dead meat.
First it was teasing- hooking up with his friends and purposely getting herself into trouble. Then verbal abuse- which didn’t do much to him since San never reacted to harsh words so it quickly turned physical. Her tantrums included throwing plates in his way but this time was too far when she threw boiling hot water at him neglecting whatever she said she wanted.
“I want to help you Sannie…” you felt helpless seeing him come home with bruises you couldn’t stop him from getting.
“You’re doing enough Y/N, being in my arms is enough baby” he pulled you from your waist to move closer to his body, never breaking eye contact with you he tangled his hand into your hair. He has you on his lap now slowly grinding your bodies on one another.
“W-wanna make you feel good” your voice was above a whisper, gently gliding your nails on the back of his neck sending shivers down his spine.
“Make me forget Y/N… Make me forget her and show me you’re mine” he says before clashing his lips onto yours, not roughly but passionately with hunger, as if he has been starved from your touch for decades.
Clothes were off in seconds. Both of your body heat grinding on each other could start a fire. A fire that will destroy the world. Destroy this world for not allowing you two to write your story. For not allowing him to hold your hand out in public and show you off to all his friends. For not allowing you to show him off. For not allowing you to plan your kids names and whose eyes they’re going to have. San could burn the world for you. Maybe it would be better for you two. Maybe you could finally do the things you wanted to do.
That fire could turn the world into the sun after you slowly slide yourself on him. Adjusting to his length you rest your forehead on his and whisper “Use me San… I w-wanna be yours in every way…c-claim me.”
Without another word he pushes you up, only to guide you down again causing your whole body to shudder. This goes on till he’s now thrusting into you from below, grunting at every thrust.
Your body rocks at every thrust, holding onto his shoulder for support, hair bouncing as he moves the strands from out of your face, looking at you with nothing but pure love in contrast to the lustful movements he’s doing beneath you.
“You’re so good to me Y/N fuck mine. mine. all mine yea I don’t deserve you like this fuck”
He doesn’t mean it. San has never felt insecure in his life. But part of him hurts knowing he can’t be a normal lover to you. It hurts him that he can’t live a normal life with you- because his life is far from normal. You’ve told him many times in the past how you don’t care. You like the way things are between you two. Because you love him and that's enough for you. But part of him can’t believe he could ever be loved.
“I love you San” you manage to get out between moans. His pace is now rough, fast, hard. Your walls are clenching onto him. Afraid he’ll slip out. Afraid he’ll go. Afraid it’ll end. But he holds you. He pulls you closer to his chest, face in the crook of your neck as he bites down.
“I love you my Y/N”
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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This one is mine
pairing ➛ stalker!sheriff!yunho × reader
genre & warnings ➛ enemies to lovers, yunho is a stalker, smut smut smut, dom!Yunho, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
summary ➛ Moving away from your hometown to escape your collage stalker, you start a new life, exploring the new feeling of being a free woman in the city. However, after a messy situation at the club you are back to where you were years ago, unable to escape him.
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"No law will be able to take me away from you"
-
“This is good for me jen” you yell out from the other room so your friend can still hear you through facetime as you bring two pairs of earrings to your face to see which pair would match better with your fit. 
“Yeah yeah I know and I’m glad you’re trying out new experiences but try not to jump into things so quickly yeah? City life is very different from here Y/N, especially when it comes to partying.”
City life was a drastic change from your hometown. You went from knowing everyone from your street and practically growing up with your neighbours and their kids to now rushing down the bustling loud streets of everyone minding their own business. You admit it was an overwhelming change, especially since you’ve never been much of a people-person. Large crowds of people were never you thing. However, after graduating from college, you wanted a change. To experience something new other than being a people-pleasing goody two shoes and to finally start doing things for yourself and connecting with your needs. 
Or at least that was what you told people when they’d ask you why you decided to switch to city life. The dark truth was you needed to escape him. Him and his tall figure that shadowed behind you. His chocolaty soft hair that complimented his milky skin. Those eyes that looked so pure but you knew so well they weren't.
Jeong Yunho.
The man who was so obsessed with breaking you. 
“I’m going to be in safe hands jen. David and alexa are really nice” you said with a smile posing for her in front of the camera “how do I look?”  
“Drop dead gorgeous babe let me know how many guys drool over you” you giggled at her response. You were wearing a black spaghetti strap silk dress that hugged your body frame perfectly. Your hair was curled and your makeup wasn’t too heavy but complemented your facial features. You didn’t have much experience with clubbing but David and Alexa took you to a few bars with a similar atmosphere to a club, it was their way of slowly introducing you to club life. You met Alexa at the coffee shop she works at that happens to be by your house. You went there regularly for breakfast and that's how you two started talking. Shortly after she introduced you to David, they’ve been friends since middle school.  
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For your first time clubbing, you were actually having a lot of fun. You thought you’d feel overwhelmed as the flashing lights and loud music first made you feel slightly anxious when you first stepped in the club. However, just as David told you, after a few shots, you let loose- enough to get you on the dance floor. 
You 3 years ago would have found dancing at the club cringe. You never understood the fun of jumping around sweaty crowds with loud music. You would have rather listened to your music through your headphones on the bus home- maybe even imagining a little scenario in your head matching the type of song you were listening to. But the adrenaline you felt as the loud music vibrated through you, making you feel it shaking your heart, the crowd yelling an “o” as the beat was about to drop and most importantly, Davids really bad dancing- it was the most fun you have had in a while. 
However the night didn’t last too long. It was only 11pm, which to you would have been way past your curfew, however you were made sure that 1am is “demon time” as Alexa told you many times before coming to this club how she wouldn’t allow you to leave any earlier than 3am. People were advising one another to leave the club as apparently police came in and found illegal substances that someone sneaked in.
“Y/N follow me I know a back door we can go out from” Alexa said raising her voice a little since the music was still loud. 
“What about David?” by the time whispers were set out David had left in a rush. “He’s going to get some other people, don’t worry about him, he'll text us when he’s out” she said, now leading the way to the back door.
But as you were trying to keep up with her, people kept getting in your way, causing you to lose her in the blink of an eye. You tried to keep pushing forward in hopes of reaching a wall and finding a door, or any door to get into so you can quietly pull out your phone to text Alexa as you were scared you’d end up losing your phone in the crowd too. However, you felt a hand grasp your wrist and when you turned around your heart sank.
Jeong Yunho.
What was he doing here? Your thought was cut off as you glance down from his face only to see him in police uniform but not just any police uniform. You look at his chest to see a sheriff badge. He was the sheriff? And out of all places… here? You knew instantly this was no coincidence. Stalker Yunho never stopped stalking you. Even after running away. 
“You wanna bring her in Jeong?” a voice sets you out of your thoughts, looking over to see it belonging to a cherry red haired man, shorter than Yunho. He was also wearing a police uniform, must be his partner.
Glancing at his partner then back at you, this time clicking his tongue to the side of his cheek with a slight smirk on his lips, he eyed you up and down, eyes resting on your chest for a few seconds he said “Yeah, this one is mine.” 
They shared a few other words but you didn’t pay attention. Your eyes were glued on Yunho, you were sure you looked dumb right now with your mouth open and probably lost colour from your face but what the hell. You couldn’t believe he still managed to follow you after your big move that felt so right.
You were mad. You wanted to rip that smug look on his face off. But as always, you also felt small. Especially with his hand still grasping your wrist. Your body didn’t react to move it away. You felt a slight heat sensation running down your core. This is the effect Jeong Yunho had on you. 
“Have a good one sheriff!” his partner says. Anxiety flushes through your chest as you realise this is his time he’s going to finally have you to himself. Again. Like always. 
Pushing you through the crowd, you realise his hand never left yours. His grip on you was actually soft and gentle. Gentle enough for you to easily break free from his grasp. But he knew you wouldn’t. Which is why he confidently held you with that grip. As he’s pushing through the crowd, his back is facing you and you take in his figure. He has definitely grown, not only in height but also in his physique. His shoulders seem bigger and broader. You can deny he looks damn good in his uniform too. 
You’re now in his car. Words have not been exchanged yet. Until he breaks the silence with a chuckle. You nervously look at him, confused as to what could be so funny right now while you’re sitting over here about to piss your pants in fear.
“You’ve seemed to adjust well here Y/N” god hearing him say your name sends shivers down your spine every time. The way your name falls out of his mouth almost feels as if he’s cursing you with a spell.
“Good choice with those earrings, the others seemed too tacky” he leans into your ear and whispers. You freeze. 
What.
“You know where I live?” your voice sounded weaker than how you wanted it to come out, cursing in your head knowing he’s probably getting excited from that.
He lets out a laugh. “Oh Y/N, you’ve known me for all those years yet you’re surprised. I will say though, I was a bit hurt since you didn’t tell me about our move.”
“You mean my move”
“Our baby, you’re still mine” suddenly he speeds up his car causing you to jolt back in your seat. “And I don’t plan on letting you go any time soon” he snakes his hand on your thigh.
“You’re sick. You need help Yunho, you’re a psychopath” you have no power in this situation.
“And yet you’re in the sick psychopaths car” he looks at you and you move your head away. You move your head away because you’re embarrassed. Embarrassed that he’s right. It has always been like this. Yunho has never been rough with you, forced you to do anything. At the end of the day it’s you who accepts him. Who melts in his hands.
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You’re now pressed up onto the wall of his apartment. His hands are on each side of your head and he’s staring straight down at you. As if you were his prey. Eyes filled with hunger.
“Let go of me” you try pushing him off
“Let go of you? You’re the one who’s touching me baby” he chuckles out slowly leaning in closer. Your eyes avoid his and you feel the heat rushing through your cheeks. He’s right again.
“Why do you do this? For god sake you’re a cop- a sheriff even. You should know this is wrong” you’re now aware about the fact that you indeed were the one touching him, keeping your hands to your sides, he surely noticed that because he's now dangerously leaned down close to your face, nose grazing yours.
“No law will be able to take me away from you. I’ve made it very clear that you are mine” his lips are now brushing against yours.
Your lips naturally part and you’re now eager for a touch. A kiss. Anything. 
“You really want this to end? Even though you’ve came on my hands and face? You’ve yelled out my name with such lust, should we tell that to the judge once you take me to court? Are you gonna visit me in jail and have me fuck you through my cell?”
His fingers are now trailing over your body. Starting from your hands, going all the way up to your arms, he caresses a line across your collarbone and circles down to your boobs, one hand stopping to pinch a nipple and the other hand sliding straight under your dress instantly feeling your wetness. 
“Does it excite you? Fucking you through my cell?” he breathes onto your lips.
“Yunho…” you breathe out, a hand sliding on the back of his neck while the other tangles in his hair slightly pulling him more down “please kiss me”
Without another word his lips crash onto yours. Hungry, needy, rough as if he’s been waiting to do it for ages.
You whine at the loss of touch as he moves away from you for a second before swiftly lifts you up and takes you to his room.
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Clothes were off in a matter of seconds. Or should you say ripped off. “Yunho!” you shriek when you hear your panties and dress rip and glance at them on the floor.
“I’ll buy you other ones” he lays you down on the bed connecting your lips once more “although you won’t be needing them around me” he chuckles out before sucking a harsh hickey on your neck, causing you to moan. You feel his smile on your neck as you start unbuttoning his shirt. You let out a frustrated huff struggling at removing his gun belt and pants so he helped you remove them.
“Look at you so eager to rip off my clothes. You were demanding me to let go of you minutes ago” he teases as he wiggled out of his briefs, now exposing his hard on, gulping at the idea of it fitting. You’ve done this many times but it’s been so long you almost forgot the sting of pain you’d feel at the beginning.
Sitting up he grabs his cock in his hands. You think he’s about to slide in but instead you feel him sliding his tip between your folds, causing you to grip on the bedsheets and let out a loud whimper. He slides his tip up and down your folds before ribbing circles around your clit with it, both of you shuddering at the sensation. 
“You wanna run away from me Y/N? Hm?” he now leans close to you supporting his weight with both hands by the sides of your head. “Let’s see how fast you run from me.” he says before you feel him slowly entering you.
“One…”
“Two…” he pushes deeper
“Three..” deeper
“Four…” even deeper
“Five” what is he counting
“Six….” oh my god hes counting how many inches hes putting inside you
“Yunho please” you whimper out grabbing his ass and pushing him into you deeper earning a loud grunt from him. He slams into you and starts thrusting.
“Y'know I was gonna play nice guy with you today… even though you left me like that… wanted to make you come back to me.. ah… but that fucking dress didn’t help fuck” he now grabs your hips keeping you in place as you were squirming around.
“Ah Yunho please d-don’t st-ah op” he’s practically drilling into you now and you roll your eyes back. 
“I won’t stop… I never will ah when will you accept me Y/N accept that you’re mine, even your pussy knows this by the way you’re sucking my cock right now god so tight” 
“Mine all fucking mine” he’s whispering in your ear over the sounds of your skin slapping and squelching echoing in the room.
Although his thrusts are rough and hard, there’s a hint of passion in them, your bodies are so close together, skin rubbing against each other, almost as if he’s trying to merge your bodies together.
“Yunho I’m gonna-” you don’t finish your sentence before you feel the familiar feeling on heat rush out of you and soon later you feel his trusts get sloppy before he fills you up still chanting “mine” in your ear. 
You spend a minute there, catching your breaths before you reach your hand out to his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. Your body wants him. Seeing him on top of you right now, his eyes sparkling at you. You are reminded of why although you ran away from him, you always accept him.     
“You’re not going anywhere” kiss
“You can’t run away from me” kiss
"I’ll make you fall in love with me” kiss
“and its gonna happen tonight” thrust.
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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You're alive -Song Mingi
pairing ↠ wolf!mingi x ballerina!reader
warnings & genre ↠ angst, forbidden love, mention of guns, mingi gets injured
summary↠you were the towns golden swan, the best ballerina in town. Every show you performed he was there. Song Mingi had your heart. However your relationship and meetings were secret as the reality of him being a warewolf would have gotten you in trouble. Every performance you had he was there. But what happends when he gets caught amongst the crowd?
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The ocean was jealous of her.
It shed tears and clashed against rocks
As it could never resemble her.
Her elegant turns,
Her honest eyes that were enough to speak a hundred words, 
Her quiet steps so gentle yet so fierce.
Every night she was there twirling on the rocks.
The ocean was jealous of her.
That's where Mingi met you.
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“Aaaaand we are done for the day! Perfect ladies! Everyone soak up in a nice warm bath and rest well for the big show tomorrow” your ballet instructor yells out patting everyone on the back before coming to you and resting a hand on your shoulder “especially you Y/N, our golden swan.”
Part of you feels a relief rehearsal for this play will be over after 3 months of non stop training. You got the main part of the play- a story of a white elegant swan who dances her life away, literally, with a tragic ending of her wings being ripped out.
This play was suited for you. You were one of, if not the, best ballerina in town. People called you a golden swan. Your moves were clean and mesmerising. Your presence on stage always shined over everyone else. That could also be because of your perfect physique. Your legs were tall and arms were long and slender. Your skin had a glow that came out even more when you were on stage. 
Women stopped you anywhere you went to compliment either your performances or how beautiful you were. Men practically fought over you anytime you entered a room, a war for who would grab your attention. 
You were a star. Although grateful, you always preferred a quiet life. Being a performer ment constantly having eyes on you, so anytime you had time off you enjoyed spending it alone, especially by the sea. 
You loved the ocean.
The ocean so powerful no one could compete with.
The immortal ocean that could never age
Could get whatever it wanted
The real star of the show. 
But what you loved most about the sea- was him. He who collided with the wind that controlled the sea. His presence dark yet so soft. His body covered in blood and scars. His eyes screaming hurt, craving a touch. Song Mingi had your heart.
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“Who’s this handsome stranger all by himself?” you chuckled out, wobbling over to him digging yourself out of the sand with every step. You loose a bit of balance as you stand next to him and he holds your hand keeping you in place before looking at you “not anymore since this handsome stranger is now next to another pretty stranger” he smiles at you and you shyly grin at him. 
“You’ll be there at the show tomorrow right? I saved a spot for you at front” 
Normally Mingi sat in the far back of your shows but most of the time he’d watch you from the door, careful not to let anyone see him. Your town despised werewolves. Officers hunted them down and everyone spread stories and rumours of the horrible encounters humans had with werewolves. How they were selfish beasts only with a desire to eat out human hearts. You’ve been hearing these stories ever since you were young. Schools and churches taught kids from early ages to stay away from them. Especially with your dad being a cop, you had a lot more stricter rules with who to hang out with and where to go. But you were always so curious. If they were so dangerous why weren’t there bodies found? So when you found out about Mingi you wanted to know more. Who is he? What does he do? Where does he go? 
You know Mingi wasn’t capable of the inhumane things people told you about. He treated you with such care. His eyes reminded you of a lost little boy, not knowing where to go. Which is why you wanted to be there to show him light. Let him follow your glow and show him the wonders of the world.
“Y/N….” he sighed before sitting down pulling you down with him.
“You know I can’t be seen like that… not when there are so many people”
“People won’t be looking at you Mingi. The audience will be dark anyway” You knew you wouldn’t be able to convince him but you still tried, desperate that maybe one day he’ll get the confidence to.
“This play is really important for me. I want to show you the best of it” you traced your fingers on the side of his neck, he had a scar that coincidentally looked like a butterfly. It was a scar from his childhood a human inflicted on him- and there humans go to say wolves are the beasts. You knew it held a lot of his trauma which is why you kissed him there every time, not knowing how it's now his favourite area of skin because of you.
“I know Y/N fuck I really want to support you… do you know how bad I want to walk you down the streets, holding your hand showing you off but I really can’t…” he hides his face in his hands but you pull them to you making him face you.    
“I can't be a man for you, I’m a beast”
“You’re alive” your voice is not above a whisper.
“I’m a monster with no heart”
You place a hand on his chest where his heart is “your heart beats”
“If not for the world let it beat for me”
His eyes tear up feeling the lump in his throat grow just like when he sees you on stage, twirling and flowing around with grace and purity. There was nothing in this world he loved more than to see you like that, dressed in white shining your way on the stage. He thought about how you would look walking up to him down the aisle. He wanted it so bad. But how? How was he going to claim you when he couldn’t even claim his own identity? He couldn’t have his own identity. When he had to live in filth running away from people, running away from society. How was he going to ruin your pure reputation with his filthy one?
“Tomorrow you will sit in front. Whatever goes on, I will take responsibility, just please. For me, sit in front” you whisper as you rest your forehead on his shoulder. He locks his fingers through your hair and gently rubs the small of your back with his other hand before letting out a small “for you.” 
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“Lights are we ready?! Okay! Get the sound crew ready, swans you’re up!” you hear the stage manager yell out. 
You’re getting ready tapping your feet and stretching your legs for the last time. Your cue was soon but before you go up you’re trying to find Mingi in the audience. He’s nowhere to be seen, or at least not in the front where you reserved the seat for him he promised to sit at. Part of you is disappointed he didn’t keep his promise but you tried to shake it off, knowing it’s still a hard thing for him to do. He’s surely somewhere in the crowd, there hasn’t been a time where he’s missed your performance.
You’re halfway through your performance. Everything is going well. You can see peoples faces and how mesmerised they look- some even crying. You don’t have time to examine the whole audience since you’re focused on your movements and facial expressions, however you keep glancing at the front or the back to try and spot Mingi. He’s still not there.
But suddenly you hear a woman in the crowd scream bloody murder. “A WOLF!” she screeches as the crowd looks at the back only to see Mingi drenched in blood holding his side probably from a deep wound. You halt as you see your father emerging from behind him with a gun “EVERYONE STAND BACK!” he yells out. 
It doesn’t really help the panic though as the crowd start screaming and pushing one another to get out. With that you loose sight of Mingi. Everything is happening so fast you weren’t sure how to react, flinching as you tried to move but your body naturally halting again. “DANCERS RUN OUT FROM THE BACKSTAGE EXIT!” you hear the backstage crew yell out which snaps you from your frozen thoughts.
Your next moves happen in an instinct. No thoughts in your head just the motive to find Mingi. You jump off the stage and quickly push through the panicked crowd in hopes that your father didn’t already capture him. 
“Mingi?! Mingi where are you!” you sob out. Your tutu bumping into people causing you to fall back further from where you were trying to head to. So you rip your tutu off, dropping it without a care on the ground before swimming back into the crowd.
You look to your left only to see a shoe. An old worn out shoe that could only be one persons in this situation. You dove to it only to find Mingi on the ground, arms covering his face to avoid people stepping on him. You quickly lift him up, practically dragging him because of his body weight, probably deepening his wounds but in this case you couldn’t do anything about it because you needed to focus on getting the hell out of here. 
You reach towards an old exit, surprised no one has found out about it, you and mingi safely get out of there. 
“I tried….getting huff in but huff your dad….caught me ah fuck” hes barely lets out.
“Don’t speak god look at you it’s okay i’ll take you somewhere safe” you let out in a slightly higher pitch from panic.
You find an old storage room and quickly take him there. Surely no one would walk in here since people are mostly focused on evacuating right now.
You lay him on the floor and finally notice just how bad he looks. His face is beat up, he has a huge slash on his chests side and a huge stab wound on his thigh- left unnoticed by him since the slash on his chest is killing him way more right now. You rip the remaining of his already ripped apart shirt to cover the wounds and apply pressure on him.
“God Mingi… did you even fight back?” you realise when you saw your father, even if it was only for 5 seconds from the amount of chaos caused, he looked completely untouched. And Mingi was strong. Werewolves already have supernatural strength so he would have easily dealt with your father with a single push alone.
“I couldn’t… Y/N he’s your dad” he chokes out reaching for your hand that’s applying pressure to his slash on his chest “I-I’m ah sor- sorr….” before he could finish you cut him off “Do not apologise Song Mingi… goddamnit look at you”
“I bet you looked beautiful on stage Y/N” he said with a painful smile.
“Mingi…”
“My heart beats for you Y/N”
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byeolbeloved · 2 months
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Hihi lol me again but like especially the part in the beginning where if he were to hold a gun to your head how you would smile back at him like sjfjoksjskalksklslmn 😭😭😭 because imagine if their relationship got found out and his crazy wife made him kill you but like you would understand so you would just be smiling telling him that it's ok like MY HEART I CANT 😭😭
OHH?????
I wasn't planning on making a part 2 but this idea !!!!!!!!! I SEE YOUR VISION
Maybe if I get other ideas I could do a part 2 🤭 what do other people think? winkwink
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