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callaria · 3 years

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special delivery. [kaeya, ningguang]

they got you flowers, but what are they for?

kaeya, ningguang + gender neutral reader (separate)

genre: angst (kaeya), fluff with a sprinkle of angst (ningguang)

warnings: descriptions of death for both major and minor characters (kaeya), speculations of Khaeinri'ah and its people (kaeya), mentions and descriptions of self-esteem issues from reader (ningguang)

kaeya. [daffodils - honesty, truth, forgiveness.]

This is for Khaenri'ah, Kaeya thought once the final sword of the enemy clatters to the ground. They would have been satisfied as to what I've accomplished.

Looking at what lies underneath the horizon before him, before the remnants of a war that took too many of his loved ones enemies away, all he can ask is what now?

What is left of his family's legacy? What is left in Khaenri'ah to rule when everything has returned to dust? What is there to celebrate when his people are either long gone or beings of the abyss?

What of his other family, the family that deserved better the truth at least? What of the Knights of Favonius who fought so bravely, yet failed to protect Mondstadt from the long, simmering vengeance of the abyss? What of his sworn brother, his brother who he's worked so hard to reach, but ended up betraying once more?

What of you, who was once his lover and most trusted companion? Was it all an act, everything leading up to the very moment Kaeya plunges his sword into your beating heart? Had you died knowing the truth about your lover, or did you die without knowing anything at all?

The trek from the bottom of the mountain all the way to the top isn't as tiring as he remembers. Once upon a time, before Teyvat came to its ruination, you and Kaeya stopped at various locations in Dragonspine to rest or to simply marvel at the view while bickering away.

Contrary to the past, Kaeya doesn't feel tired. However, he wonders why the bouquet of daffodils in his hand weigh differently at times.

Sometimes, the flowers felt lighter than dandelions in the wind when he remembers how your eyes grew in size, in awe of the wonderfully illuminated scenery in Starglow Cavern. But more frequently, it felt heavier than his late brother's Diluc's claymore when he recalls the way his sword impaled your shaking form.

He finds out that it weighs more when he remembers you didn't even make an effort to fight back; not when you realized that it was your lover whose blade runs deep within your veins, deeper than the sense of abandonment and betrayal in your heart.

"I got this for you." Kaeya stands, seemingly apathetically, before an unmarked grave. Despite this, he knew all too well who it was and what he was feeling. "You would have loved them." How cruel of him to have sought your presence when it was he that brought your existence to an end.

He felt as if saying more would disturb your peace. No, Kaeya didn't deserve to appear in front of you for the sins he's committed. After all, how could you love a man like him? A man whose loyalties lie within the ashes of a civilization lost to time, costing him every good thing he could've had if only he were to open his eyes to what was already in front of him.

A breeze blows by and it rattles his soul to the very core, making the hair at the back of his neck stand in alert. How ironic that he, of all people, was caught off guard by the blistering cold of Dragonspine.

Thus, no more words were uttered. All that was left was regret, his fading memory of you, and his useless "trophy" of immortality from the war that was paid for by his loved ones' lives.

He does not know of your concern for him when your eyes were coming to a close, never to open again. He does not know about the way your heart broke when you heard his lungs burn with a scream of horror and regret at what he's just done, his chance of redemption lost to the wind and sands of time.

Kaeya hopes you forgive him, but he does not know that you already have the moment your unnaturally cold hand slipped from his.

ningguang. [gladiolus - remembrance, faithfulness, sincerity.]

Ever since you both had publicized the matter of your relationship to all of Liyue (honestly, who's to say that the chatter regarding your relationship ends by its borders?), many have since offered their congratulatory praises, trying to hide their bewildered faces. Not to the Ningguang, no, but to you.

As the second child of a street vendor stationed at Chihu Rock, not much people had given you a second glance all throughout your life. You were free to go about as you wished, the only rule being that you wouldn't cause trouble for your parents who were already struggling with making ends meet for you and your two other siblings.

So when you come home one day, not before telling your parents that you've been in a relationship with someone for months and are now ready to introduce them, they were not at all expecting the pleasant gasps of surprise from children across the neighborhood and hushed whispers from the adults.

There were only a handful of people all throughout Liyue that have the amount of influence to render even miss Su Er'niang of the Chop Suey stall silent. With this unexpected, yet pleasant, discovery, your family warmly welcomed Ningguang into your humble abode.

Time passes and, despite it being common knowledge that you were together, many still had their doubts as to whether or not you were truly worthy of her eminence, the Tianquan.

Rumors were shared whenever you were seen with her. Looks of disbelief when she kisses your hand in greeting at events hosted by the Qixing and stares whenever you were seen visiting her at the Jade Chamber were now a common sight for you.

You've had to endure all these things for half a year now, you suppose. It was fair to say that you've had enough of the harsh words behind your back, especially from people who only knew you as the Ningguang's significant other.

But at the same time, you find yourself questioning your worth. What if they were right? How could she want you as her partner when there is no shortage of eligible individuals in Liyue whose fortune far surpasses yours? You don't even have a Vision; how could you possibly be worthy to be called her equal, if not factoring her status?

"(Y/N)?" You barely notice your lover call your name. "I certainly hope I didn't make you wait too long. I've gotten you something—oh." Ningguang pauses once she sees your gloomy expression and her eyebrows furrow ever so slightly.

"Is something the matter, dearest?" She reaches forward with her free hand and caresses your cheek ever so gently. "What's gotten your spirits so down?"

"Nothing, nothing." You let out a deep sigh and cross your arms.

What are you doing? It's been a long day, she must be tired.

"I mean, it's alright! I'm alright. You're probably tired after today. I saw the 'snowfall' below and everyone in Chihu Rock went mad over a single piece! It's really strange when you think about it in a literal sense." A soft chuckle from both of you disrupts the peaceful silence inside the Jade Chamber. "Let's just go to bed so we can rest, okay?"

Before you turn, Ningguang catches your wrists and calls your name. When you look back at her, you see her holding a moderately-sized bouquet of...what exactly are those? Lilies? Irises?

No matter what they are, they look seriously expensive, you dread to think of how much they cost as your mouth parts in surprise.

The corners of her mouth rise as she smiles, knowing your exact thoughts. "They're gladioli—gladiolus, singular. We haven't seen much of each other lately because of my schedule, so when Ganyu mentioned that they bloom this time of the year, I thought that I could ask her to fetch some on my behalf for you. Are they to your liking?"

Did you hear that right?

"Of course!" You exclaim and look at her in disbelief. "Ningguang, how couldn't I? They're absolutely stunning, thank you so much!" You hesitatingly take the bouquet from her and smell them. Your lover watches you with a tender gaze as you inspect her gift closely.

Archons, they smell expensive too.

Gladiolus... You haven't heard much of it, even though you come from a diverse and busy market district. They must not be from Liyue, you conclude. Where do these grow then and how are they so fresh? They're unlike anything you've seen before, Ningguang must have gone through great lengths to bring this to you then.

Could you ever ask for a better significant other? You're not even sure someone like that exists.

After some time, your childlike wonder and positive thoughts simmer out and you start to ask yourself the same questions that have plagued your mind these past hours. You find yourself asking if you really were worth all this effort.

Why would she go through all these things and spend so much for you? If you were wealthier, you could have gotten her something in return without worrying about how much mora you'd have left. If you were more powerful, you would have been able to take some load off of her hands so she doesn't feel the need to do extravagant things like this for you.

Were you really holding her back, like what those whispering ladies in Yujing Terrace said?

"That expression is back on your face." With a shadow of a frown on her face, she asks, "(Y/N), are you sure you're alright?" You look away, embarrassed, but she does not take that for an answer.

"Be honest with me now. What happened?"

With a deep sigh, you figured that you might as well say it now that she insists. "I overheard some people in Yujing Terrace say I was holding you back." From the corner of your eye, you can see her frown deepen when you say this. Though this troubles you, you keep going in hopes she understands. "At first, comments like these were bearable. It was new information for the public, so I expected these things to happen. What I didn't expect was for it to still be happening half a year later."

You can't seem to look at at her, so you gaze upon the glistening petals of the gladioli instead. "I've just been so tired from the gossip, the whispers, and everything they seem to think they know about us! Please don't get me wrong, I know that they're not true. I know that I shouldn't bother listening, but it's so hard not to when they toss our names around like the loose change in their pockets, you know?"

Feeling ashamed of your outburst, you shake your head and mumble, "I'm sorry. It was selfish of me to bring my problems to you when you really must be tired after today. Let's—"

"(Y/N), please look at me." An unfamiliar tone from your partner interrupts you. Though it takes a while to summon the courage to do so, you comply with her wish.

When you look up, you don't see Lady Ningguang, the Tianquan of Liyue's Qixing. You don't see the owner and creator of the Jade Chamber, whose influence runs deep and whose intellectual prowess dictate the laws governing the wealthiest region in Teyvat.

Instead, you see a concerned lover—your concerned lover. As her ruby eyes meet yours, you begin to realize that the people the world is talking about are merely the perceptions of you and she. Oh how different this person was, how different you both were, to their descriptions and how unlucky they are not to have known both of you this way.

Her soft hands find their way to your cheeks as she holds your face softly, staring into your eyes with as much passion as the sun burns bright. "You are what wakes me up in the morning and lets me sleep soundly at night. You are the inspiration for all my epiphanies and what keeps me grounded to reality. My love, you are the sun, the moon, and the stars in the depths of my mind. No one, absolutely no one, is more worthy of my love and admiration than you." Ningguang kisses your forehead sweetly and your feel your troubles start to fly away like the 'snowfall' that covered Liyue this afternoon.

"Thank you. You don't know how much I really needed to hear that." You hide your growing smile into the flowers in your hands, flustered with the amount of affection you're getting from your usually conservative lover. "I'll do my best to remember, but I can't promise that the thoughts will stop." Though your smile dims, Ningguang smiles at you gently in understanding.

"Just promise me that you'll remember this," She takes the bouquet bursting with gladioli from your hands, sets them aside, takes your hands upon hers and holds them close between you both. "At the end of the day, no matter what all of Liyue—what all of Teyvat—has to say about you, me, or our relationship, the person I choose to listen to will always be...?"

"...me?"

Ningguang, ever so patiently, lovingly kisses the back of your hands and nods, "You."

allure's notes:

reminder: you are worth the good things you receive and absolutely no one has the right to take that away from you. please always do your best to never let someone's degrading words make a large impact in your life. if you need to speak with anyone, i'm open to talk <3 mwah

also.. yes, i'm aware that these flowers probably don't exist in their universe! is it gonna stop me?? no! 🌸 :D

i planned to have venti, xiao, and childe in this too but,, maybe next time!! (one half bc idk what flowers suit them and the other half bc I rly wanted to put smth out after finishing 1st yr college lol)

thank you for reading ☀️

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fluff #genshin imagines #genshin impact kaeya #genshin impact ningguang #kaeya headcanons #ningguang headcanons #kaeya x reader #ningguang x reader #genshin x reader imagines #☀️ | kaeya #☀️ | ningguang #callaria fluff #callaria angst

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callaria · 3 years

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genshin impact version 2.0 ✩

inazuma characters

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callaria · 3 years

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“solitary cloud, shadow in the setting sun, stirs the drifter’s heart.”

character demo ☆ kaedehara kazuha: wandering winds

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callaria · 3 years

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i am in essay hell pls save me from my tourism major,, why is it like this

i haven't posted writing in like 3 wks omg followers u got played soooo hard aha ;;

IM KIDDING THATS A JOKE HUHU im sorrie i'll post smth soon!! i have a flower themed hc for some cuties but ive written like 5k words for 2 essays in 2 days ,, im SO TIRED AND NEEDED TO SCREAMMMM

where is albedo to make things all better 😞 </3

#I DIDNT KNOW I SIGNED UP FOR ESSAYS WHEN I WENT TO TOURISMJSKSJDJS FUKC #HELP ME IM SO angy ):#IM SO TIRED OF RAMBLIJG IN ESSAYS I HAVE LITERALLY!!!!! NOTHING ELSE 2 SAY #callaria rambles

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callaria · 3 years

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Wanna come over for tea~?

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callaria · 3 years

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"Hiraeth" ↠ Childe [ANGST]

"Can you be homesick for something that is not a home?"

Characters: Childe x GN!Reader (You)

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 3,592 I’m sorry, I got carried away

Warnings: Archon quest spoilers, Childe's story quest spoilers

A/N: This is my first ever Genshin fic, so please look after it kindly! Inspired by Childe's pinkie rings and brought to you by my panic over having to fight him 🤡 AKA help I love this man so much

Special thanks to @seerie and @lucienism for carrying my butt; this is all for you, please enjoy~ ♡

HIRAETH: (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return to; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

But everything is shattering and it's my mistake

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

“If you were Fatui, I imagine that you would be entitled to a generous reward from the Tsaritsa herself.”

You freeze at the voice, dread settling in your stomach like dead weight. No, it can’t be.

But the figure approaching you slowly is unmistakable.

No, please.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” You stutter, panic making your lips unable to form proper words.

Childe smiles, but you notice it doesn’t reach his eyes. There’s a deadened look in his azure pupils. “Oh come on now, what do you think I’m doing here?” He gestures grandly at the Exuvia, and you shake your head wildly, scrambling backward to move in front of Rex Lapis’ body.

No.

Memories of everything the two of you shared comes rushing at you like a whirlwind and hurt floods your system. Your mind goes blank save for the panicked chants of no, no, no.

Our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this

“You-you were playing me to get close to the Exuvia,” you spit the words out at him. You feel like an utter idiot, completely betrayed and blindsided. How stupid. You knew he was Fatui. You knew he was one of the eleventh Harbingers.

He smirks, the expression now maddening to you instead of endearing. “Don’t act so surprised. You’ve seen this world, you of all people should know that this should have been expected.”

He was right. You had been the one who had let him in, had let him get close. And now you were going to pay for it.

You draw your sword as he approaches slowly, the tip of the weapon sickeningly close to his throat. Archons, please let this be a nightmare. You desperately hope that this was all a prank, someone popping out of the corner to say “Gotcha!” But he is close enough that you can feel the heat emanating from his body and you know it is no joke indeed.

“I won’t allow you to get near the Exuvia,” you say bravely.

Childe grins and there is a tangible excitement in the air. “Oh? So you do intend to fight me?” His glee is disturbing, making you instinctively step back.

Was this really the same man who had whispered sweet promises about his wintry homeland? Was the man before you the same as the one who had pretended to be a toy-seller to protect the innocence of a childhood dream?

“We’ve now come to my favorite part. A simple pleasure, and one that I am oh-so-delighted to be sharing with you,” Childe continues, and suddenly the bow that was slung over his shoulder appears in his hands. “The battle.”

Your gaze wavers ever so slightly as you consider your opponent.

You of all people knew how much Childe loves to fight, the thrill of the battle is what drives him. He chases after it like a drug. But on the other hand, you knew the consequences of what would happen if Childe got his hands on Rex Lapis’ Gnosis. You’ve seen it happen firsthand to Venti, after all.

“I won’t kill you,” Childe proclaims, “I’ll just play along, to feel the thrill of the battle. Besides,” he smirks again, and it makes your skin crawl. “You can never defeat me anyway!”

You grit your teeth as you glare at him, “I can never defeat you?” You can’t help but feel the dangerous edge of white-hot anger run through you, like a hot knife through butter. “You’re completely delusional!”

The laugh that comes out of his chest tells you he is pleased with your answer, “Fighting talk, I love it! Now, let’s see if you live up to it!”

You barely had time to react before arrows start flying in your direction, pure muscle memory is what keeps you out of harm’s way. Your body goes on autopilot, instincts taking over as you do all you could to defend yourself against the onslaught of his attacks. But you refuse to go on the offensive, something Childe quickly notices, and he presses you. The attacks get more ferocious, but you do your best to parry them.

A blade, forged out of water, appears out of nowhere and knocks your sword out of your hands. When you move to follow after it, Childe is standing in front of the Exuvia. ”Not bad, your swordsmanship is quite impressive. But that’s as far as you’ll get.” He sounds triumphant. “I’ll be taking Morax’s Gnosis now!”

“NO-”

There is a blinding light and then nothing. You raise your head to look at Childe, who is staring at his hand. The gloved palm remains empty.

A shocked gasp leaves your mouth as Paimon and you exchange confused looks.

“Well…” Childe begins. The look in his eyes is foreign to you, a brief flash of confusion burns away to reveal fury. You instinctively lick your dry lips, feet unconsciously moving backwards. The Childe who stands before you iss not the same Childe you’ve known.

“I see, this is most unexpected,” his voice is much too calm, and you shiver involuntarily. He turns to you. You notice that he clearly looks different now. A purple aura glows around his entire body as he stalks towards you. You’re not sure if it was your imagination, but he looks bigger, more threatening. “You beat me to it, didn’t you?”

Mute, you shake your head, but Childe doesn’t seem to notice. He turns slowly, his manner imposing.

“Where is it? Where is the Gnosis?” His voice is akin to that of a growl, and you gulp.

“I don’t know, I don’t have it!” Your words emerge as a frightened yelp when he jumps down from Rex Lapis’ corpse, causing you to stagger from the sheer force. Lightning crackles all around you and you’re forced to scramble.

“This is going to cost you!” A brilliant streak of violet electricity and suddenly, the ground disappears under your feet. You freefall, wind whistling in your ears, and you make an effort to protect your head from the fast-approaching surface.

Pain blossoms in your body and you can’t help the whimper that comes out before everything goes dark.

Your sword clatters next to you. Childe lands on the ground, his boots creating craters. Everything is far too quiet. He makes his way over to you, brow creasing as he assesses your surroundings. You do not move.

“Hey-” he calls your name, but you give no response. Paimon gives him a dirty look as she keeps trying to revive you, shaking your lifeless form frantically. Worry overrides the anger and panic sets in.

Get up, Childe pleads silently, watching your limp body. GET. UP. Panic rises in his chest when Paimon tugs desperately at your arm.

The tiniest groan of pain, so small, that he nearly misses it, and you begin to move feebly. Relief engulfs him like a tidal wave coursing over his entire body and Childe staggers, trying to keep his Foul Legacy under control. Bile rises in the back of his throat as he watches you lean heavily against your sword, using the weapon as a means to prop yourself up.

The differences and impulses and your obsession with The little things you like stick, and I like aerosol

He shouldn’t be worrying about whether or not you get up. He shouldn’t care. He was a Harbinger after all. The Harbingers prided themselves for being the Tsaritsa’s weapons of war, without being susceptible to useless things such as emotions.

And yet, Childe feels his insides twist unpleasantly as you force yourself into a fighting stance, breathing labored and sword arm trembling.

“I’m not going to let you get away with this,” you say, but your voice has no force, no life. Childe sees the exhaustion settling in and guilt gnaws at him.

But failure is not an option for him. It’s better to end this now.

He grips his staff as he sneers, “You never had any chance of beating me to the Gnosis. In fact, you had no connection to the Gnosis, no matter where it had been taken.” It’s easier for him to be the bad guy if it means he didn’t have to see your tears. It’s better if you were angry, instead of being hurt by the likes of him.

“Unfortunately, it’s time that our battle ends. My quest still beckons.” Despite every fiber in his being protesting, Childe raises his staff. Currents of electricity sizzle in the air.

Just before you throw your arm up to block the blow, you see him hesitate. The hesitation lasts only a split second, but it is enough. You knew. For someone who loves the thrill of the fight as much as Childe did, he never hesitates in battle. Hesitating means the difference between life and death. Hesitating means you lose. As the purple beam of lightning hurls towards you, a small smile appears on your face.

The bolt lands mere inches from you, making your eyes squeeze shut from the stifling air, but the smile remains on your face.

He missed.

When you open your eyes again, Childe is nowhere to be seen.

━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━

The days following the battle with Childe and Osial have you attempting to help others. It wasn’t until Zhongli had suggested that you rest and Paimon threatening to tie you to your bed, that you relented.

And on one sunny afternoon, you watch the bustling streets of Liyue from the window, confined to your bed, lest Paimon unleashes her wrath.

A quiet knock breaks you out of your thoughts and you murmur a soft “Come in,” expecting to see Zhongli for tea or Baizhu with your daily medicine. The battles had taken quite a toll on you.

You were not expecting, however, the ever-familiar figure in gray with a somber expression.

“Have you come back to finish killing me?” The words that you utter are flat.

Childe winces slightly at your frigid tone and starts slowly towards you.

“Stop.” You throw out a hand and Childe obeys, watching you cautiously. “Before you say anything, tell me this.”

He cocks his head as he waits. And suddenly, you feel the urge to cry, but you shove the feeling down.

“Tell me,” you say, voice hoarse from unuse or unshed tears, Childe does not know. “Who are you? Who is the person who stands before me?” You were trying to put up a front, but he can see the cracks beginning to form. Your voice wavers. “Are you Childe, the pride of the Tsaritsa, the person who went on all these adventures with me, my cheerful comrade in arms? Or are you Tartaglia, the eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers, bloodthirsty and power-hungry, the one who tried to kill me the other day?” There is a hitch in your throat as you continue, “Or…are you…Ajax,” your voice is trembling, the name pushed through your lips as if difficult to say, “Defender of Childhood Dreams, the person willing to give up his reputation to save the hero-like image Teucer has, warm-hearted and kind, the one named after the hero. Ajax, the one who made those promises to me?” You press your lips together as you look away, gaze landing on the window, where it stays.

Childe is silent, for he does not know the answer to your questions either.

And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small Though I try to resist I still want it all

Minutes pass and the silence is overwhelmingly stifling.

“Does it matter which version of me is before you?” He finally breaks the silence. You squeeze your eyes shut at that, not wanting to see, to hear him.

He sees you grit your jaw, tension running a clear line, the same place where he had loved to press soft kisses against. “Yes, because I’m trying to figure out if all the memories we shared were real or not.”

“And if they were?” Childe breaths out, the ghost of his words hovers in the air between the two of you, “What if I told you that they were, every last one of them, as real as the sunlight filtering through the window right now?”

“You expect me to believe that?” You laughed dryly, sound grating and harsh. The laughter continues as you pull off the silver ring on your pinkie and flick it at him. Silver circle catches the light, a tiny streak glinting in a wide arc, and the two of you watch as it sails towards its original owner. Childe catches it by instinct, swallowing hard when he did so.

“And what about this promise?” You challenge, raising your brow. “You sounded so sure when you made this promise.”

“You’ll love the rest of my siblings,” Childe murmurs. He grabs your hand and holds it up for his inspection under the moonlight. “I’m very proud of them. They’re great kids.”

You laugh as you lean back into his arms with a satisfied sigh. “You’ve been saying that so many times, but we haven’t gone to Snezhnaya yet. I’m starting to think you’re a hoax.”

“I promise,” he turns to you, gaze earnest, “I promise I’ll take you there.”

“Pinkie promise,” you offer and waggle your pinkie playfully, “Or else, I’ll throw you on the ice.”

Childe smiles, cerulean eyes disappearing into cheerful slits, as he hooks his pinkie around yours, “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” he recites the ever-familiar nursery rhyme. “Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you.”

You look at him questioningly but obey regardless. You feel Childe take the hand that he had been holding and something cold glides up your pinkie.

“Ajax-”

“Shh, don’t want to ruin the surprise now, do we?” Warm fingers grasp yours and you feel his breath ghost over your knuckles. Lips, albeit chapped, press against the unfamiliar coolness, as if branding some sort of unspoken vow.

You give in to the urge to open your eyes and you do, just in time to see Childe sit back with a relaxed smile. “Wha-“ you begin and that’s when you notice a silver ring around your pinkie. “What’s this?”

Childe smirks, a self-satisfied upturn of his lips as he grasps your hand again. “A pinkie promise,” he proclaims proudly. He curls his pinkie around yours but this time, there was a gentle clink. You see a similar ring glinting on his finger. “I promise I will take you to Snezhnaya and you will get to meet my siblings. That is a promise I fully intend to keep.”

Your pinkie tightens around his and there is the distinct clink of your rings knocking together. You decide you rather like the sound of it.

“What about the promise?” You ask again.

Childe does not speak, but you notice his hand tighten around the ring ever so slightly. You can’t read the look in his eyes.

“If you make a promise, you keep it. If you make a mistake, you apologize…” You softly repeat the words he had said to you long ago. “The nursery rhyme Teucer taught me… You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again,” you recite the words, each one hammering a nail that would seal your fate. “Looks like you’re going to have to break the promise,” you settle back against your pillows with finality.

He swallows then, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. As much as you hate to admit it, you feel hope rising inside of you at the sight.

Was any of it real? Were his feelings genuine?

But the fact remains still, was that he had betrayed you.

“We’re going on two different paths. You, on the path to power. Me, to find my brother. Our paths should never have converged,” you are surprised to hear that your voice is steady, not betraying the turmoil you currently feel raging inside of you.

Only fools fall for you, only fools fall

Childe closes his eyes, sighing softly.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, so faint you barely catch it, “Truly.”

You feel disappointment settle in and you berate yourself mentally. What did you expect?

“You’re full of contradictions,” You breathe out, drawing the covers closer to you as if they could block out the hurt. “You refuse to let Teucer know about your real job because you wanted to protect his childhood, yet you do everything in the name of the Tsaritsa. Who even are you?” You laugh, but there is a little catch in your voice. “You make all these promises with honeyed words, yet you tried to kill me when you believed I stole the Gnosis from you, just because I happened to be in your way.”

“As one of the Eleventh Fatui Harbingers, it’s my duty to see the will of the Tsaritsa fulfilled,” Childe reminds you. It was a reminder you didn’t need. You can’t help but notice the loneliness in his tone.

You snort derisively, “The will of the Tsaritsa. Does it include nearly destroying entire cities, putting thousands of innocent lives at risk?” Does it include getting close to me to gain my trust only to betray it in the end? Was I part of this plan? You want to ask, but you were afraid of the answer.

“She will get that which she desires,” Childe is firm, and you have to bite down the disappointment.

“So where does that leave us?” The question comes hurling out before you can even begin to process it. You bite back a curse.

Childe exhales. “You should know…Anyone who strives as I do to grow stronger shall be called a friend, even if our friendship can only be shown in battle against one another,” he says softly. The expression on his face is forlorn. “The next time we meet, it will be on the battlefield.”

You laugh in disbelief, “Friends,” you scoff, “Friends don’t cross blades with one another.” Friends don’t betray one another, you wanted to add, but you held your tongue. “It would be more fitting to call us enemies.

“I harbor no ill will towards you,” Childe’s admission is nearly silent, “In fact, most of my happier memories were those shared with you.”

“It’s too late,” you grit out and there is venom in your words.

Childe studies you as if trying to commit all of your features to memory. You think to yourself that you have never once seen this expression cross his face, lost and melancholic. “Farewell, comrade,” he finally says quietly, “I hope you find all the answers to the questions you’re searching for.” He turns to go.

“Ajax…” you call his name, his real name. It comes out of your mouth before you can stop yourself and it hovers nervously in the air. He stops at the sound of his name, and he turns back to you, expression unsure. “You hesitated,” you say simply. “Inside of the Golden House. You hesitated to kill me. And you missed on purpose, didn’t you? That means you lost.”

Childe does not say anything. He offers you a slight smile as he pulls the door open. And just like that, Childe is gone from your life, leaving the same way he had entered.

Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━

Nighttime finds Childe under the tree where he had made the promise to you. It overlooks the ocean, Liyue lights blinking in the distance, a would-be pretty sight if he had better company save for himself. It’s a moonless night and Childe thinks to himself that it is fitting for a night like this.

“You seem quiet, what’s going on?” Childe asks as he plops next to you, jostling your arm.

You huff at him, moving your sketchbook out of the way, “Careful,” you warn.

Childe pushes himself onto his elbows, curious, as he peers down at the paper. “Your brother?” He asks, voice gentle. “Are you thinking of him again?”

You nod, filling in the details of your brother’s face. “I wish I had more information,” you sigh.

He watches you work, your expression was forlorn, lost and Childe wishes he could do something to alleviate your pain.

“You’ll find the answers, I know you will,” Childe offers, draping himself over you. His body presses against yours and the familiar warmth calms you. “Don’t forget I’m assisting you as well.”

“I’m just…homesick I guess,” you admit as you shade the contour of your brother’s jaw. “Have you ever heard of this word?”

“Hiraeth,” Childe mumbles. He remembers what you said to him.

“Homesickness for a home you cannot return to. The nostalgia, the yearning for the lost places of the past.”

It makes him think of warm arms and cheerful laughter. Of quiet nights under the stars and dreams uttered against lips. Of playful fights and adrenaline-fueled battles. Of forgotten duties in lieu of lazy mornings in bed, surrounded by the mere essence of one another.

It makes him think of you.

Home is not a place, it’s a feeling. It’s a person.

It’s you.

He presses a kiss to the smaller of the silver rings, his whisper lost to the wind. Nothing but the sky and the trees bearing witness.

“You were my home.”

Fin.

For more of my works: 📖

#one of the best angst fics i've read in a LONG LONG while omg #actually made me go OWIE UGH #sheeeeesh </3 #callaria reads

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callaria · 3 years

Text

Eternally Yours

Pairing: Kazuha, Albedo, Childe, Aether, Scaramouche (separately) x gn!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Posted: O2.O7.2O21

Summary: How they promise you forever.

───────── · · · · ❅

Being with him is like being carressed by a breeze most gentle. Following this, Kazuha would prefer seeking the freedom of the winds that traverse over the ocean, so the promise between you two can be carried over the horizon and beyond were it will find eternity.

➳ ; On a small island far away from human civilization, you stood next to your beloved samurai. The wind blew over the sea softly, just like Kazuha had hoped for when he brought you there. Today wasn't necessarily warm, and both your hair and clothes were a little damp from a drizzly rain that had fallen from the sky on your way to the island, but neither of you were really bothered by it.

After all, today it was exactly a year ago that the wind brought the two of you together. It was a special day, regardless of what mother nature threw at you.

There was an old rowboat in front of you, the slippery wood mostly covered in moss after lying on a deserted island for God knew how long. Kazuha sat next to the forgotten vessel, crouched down and fully immersed in his job. You sat next to him, watching how the blunt and rusty knife in his hand worked through the wood to spell out each letter of your name, next to where his name was already carved.

The idea of solidifying your love by carving your names somewhere in a quiet place had been his, but you were as excited about it as he was. It made you feel warm and happy.

He smiled softly upon finishing, brushing his fingers over the carvings to erase the curled wood shavings from where his knife etched your names.

"Let's set it free, so the wind can take our names into foreverness," he offered, and together you pushed the small rowboat into the sea.

It might be seen as something small and not significant by others, but to you it truly was a gesture that warmed your heart. Together, you watched how the waves carried the boat away, your hand securely in his. Even when it had long disappeared over the horizon, your gazes remained on the sea.

The rain ceased, the waves stilled, and the wind rustled your hair softly. Your promise had been heard.

───────── · · · · ❅

It would take Albedo a bit of time to fully grasp the true meaning of eternity, even more when eternity was a promise to the one he loves. However, he will try his best to come to understand it, and when he does, he is more than sure that he wants to make it a promise to you.

➳ ; The snowflakes fell down from the sky in a gentle flurry, leaving a thin layer of white powder on your shoulders and the top of your head. There was a time back in the days where you would have been shaking from the cold, but joining the Chief Alchemist on his countless expeditions to his camp in Dragonspine had helped you to get used to the subzero temperatures.

You loved the icy mountain, from the fairy tale scenery of pure white snow to the vast amount of mysteries that were waiting to be discovered. Even the cold was more than bearable for you, because just being with Albedo was enough to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Maybe it also was because Dragonspine simply reminded you of him, ever since the day you met him in the Starglow Cavern.

You were just outside of his camp right now, gaze filled with fascination as you admired a faintly glowing flower that the alchemist had just created in front of you. It levitated right above his palm, and Albedo's calm blue eyes regarded you fondly as you marveled at his creation.

But then he suddenly snapped his fingers, and the petals fell apart in a burst of light.

"Regardless of the matter at hand, its value shouldn't derive from how long it stays with us," he calmly spoke, and both of you watched how small particles of light joined the gracious dance of falling snowflakes.

Then his eyes landed upon you once more, and a smile fell on his lips as he added, "but my love, I want us to be more than just a momentary burst. I want us to be forever."

As spellbound by the snow and the dazzling light as you were, Albedo's sweet words had you back in reality in an instant. Even in the frostbitten wildlands of the icy mountain, he managed to melt your heart. You wanted forever as much as he did, and you gently took his hand.

───────── · · · · ❅

Underneath the fearless and merciless mask that the Fatui are expected to put on, Childe would be a person who harbors quite a bit of sentiment. As much as he puts on the act of an easy guy most of the time, he would pour a lot of thoughts and feelings into moments that carry a meaning for him.

➳ ; You weren't expecting to be greeted by a sight so beautiful when Childe had led you out of Liyue Harbor on a free night. It was quite the uphill walk, but the cliff offered to you a view that was more than worth it.

Liyue was beautiful in the darkness of the forthcoming midnight. The city bathed in a warm hue, and the soft glow of lanterns set the surface of the sea to shimmer. When you looked up, thousands of stars embellishing the vast sapphire sky greeted you, while the crescent moon almost gave you a feeling of safety.

The harbinger often sought for these small moments of peace with you, because they helped him cope with the stress brought onto him by his work. Yet somehow, tonight felt different. There wasn't a trace of the usual tiredness that dimmed his mood, and he was rather giddy instead.

But it all made sense when he gently tugged you to to lie down with him in the soft grass. He pointed up at the night sky, right when a shooting star traversed the darkness.

"Hey, you should make a wish," the male spoke, eyeing you from the side with a grin.

Before you could even come up with one, he told you how he wished for the two of you to be together forever. It made your heart swell with happiness, but you still jokingly chided him for saying his wish out loud.

Childe merely chuckled, a sound that held joy and mirth. He gently took your hand in his, telling you that he didn't want to keep his wish a secret from you. After all, you were the one he wanted to share forever with.

When another shooting star crossed the midnight sky, you too wished for a forever with him.

───────── · · · · ❅

Sweet, loyal and determined. That is what you would find in Aether as his lover. He will give it all when it comes to love, albeit subtly, for you are his home in the world he is not a part of. He might be quiet with words, but it are actions that speak the loudest.

➳ ; You had never thought that running through the lush greenfields while the sun was setting would make you feel so ecstatic. And yet, here you were, unable to stop the laugh bubbling from your throat as the soft evening breeze rustled your hair playfully.

Aether was running next to you, obviously enjoying the spontaneous burst of energy just as much. You didn't know why he had suddenly grabbed your hand a few minutes earlier, and you didn't understand why he shot you a grin and started running, but you were having the time of your life as you darted around the plains with your lover by your side.

There were flowers adorning the landscape, swaying softly in the wind. Even at the high velocity you were in, you admired them for the beauty they brought to the scenery. In the hecticity you often found while traveling and adventuring alongside your lover, a moment of serenity like this was a treasure.

Then he suddenly brought you to a halt by a gentle tug on your hand, and he offered you a smile before he glanced over the field you had halted in.

"Look," he said.

And upon following his request, you casted your gaze on your surroundings. You gasped in delight, as you found the two of you being surrounded by hundreds of what looked like tiny fluffy parachutes dancing on the breeze around you.

Dandelions.

Aether didn't speak, but the look in his eyes and the way he held your hand so delicately told you all you had to know. Dandelions carried one's wish over the wind, and your silent yet shared wish for a forever together soared up towards the twilight sky.

───────── · · · · ❅

Scaramouche is a man who rarely speaks words of appreciation, even to you, the one he loves. Not because he doesn't care about you, but merely because all sides of him that have some warmth left are buried deeply. So when words like these do fall off his lips, it's serious.

➳ ; He had to leave again. The Sixth of the Fatui Harbingers was needed somewhere in a far corner of Teyvat, traveling to a place you had never heard of before. How long he would be gone for? You had no idea, and neither did he.

You hated it, and your mood was sullen as he opened the front door of your shared house to make his departure. Scaramouche wasn't a lover most kind and gentle, but that in no way changed the way you loved him, and of course you would miss him like crazy while he was gone – and you knew the same went for him.

He gathered the small amount of luggage he would take with him and ushered it outside, and you prepared for another goodbye that was as cold as the icy lands of Snezhnaya.

But right when the door was about to shut, he hesitated, and the door remained agape. The male waited a moment, before he put down his luggage and his violet eyes flitted to you.

"Being a Harbinger isn't forever," he told you, pausing for a moment before adding, "but we are, right? I'll be back before you know it."

You couldn't help the way your eyes widened at the words you were expecting from him the least. Did the cold harbinger just promise you a together forever? Despite the fact that he was leaving in a few minutes, a wave of warmth and happiness surged through your body, and you smiled.

Scaramouche huffed, grabbing his luggage and turning away from you. But you saw it, you saw the little smile and it made your heart skip a beat in delight. Sadly the man had already walked away from the door, but you would wait for him and kindly remind him of these words when he returned.

#i normally dislike scara but..... omg <3 #this is so cute im gonna Cry huhu #callaria reads

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callaria · 3 years

Text

“Perhaps we may meet each other in a dream”

— Marina Tsvetaeva

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callaria · 3 years

Note

new follower here! <3 i came across your blog while scrolling the genshin impact x reader tag and your albedo fic absolutely made my heart melt ^_^ also your layout is so aesthetic im in love

oh my gosh,,, hi! welcome, new follower!! :D

thank you so much for liking independent variable!! that fic was so self indulgent omg but,, how could i not ??? albedo in the event made my heart go all over the place. and gosh,, i have such a special place in my heart for people who express affection softly and lowkey 💖

also,, i’m glad you like my layout!! it took a while (??) to do since i actually started out with a rather neutral and soft beige theme! then i realized how pretty ningguang’s constellations sounded and made a night-ish theme out of it hehe!

please do enjoy your stay and thank you for taking time out of your day to talk to me! it’s super reassuring that people find as much comfort in my hobby as much i do,, please look forward to cuter, more heart-melty posts in the future, dearest anon!! ☀️

#mwa thamk u again <333 #callaria answers

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callaria · 3 years

Text

4nemo reacting to your friendship with dckz.

featuring ; aether, venti, xiao, kazuha.

genre ; crack, fluff.

summary ; you're 4nemo's manager, but soon they find out about your friendship with their rival group when the dckz boys come to visit you.

warning ; may include curse words.

note ; been thinking about the idol au sm lately so i came up with this crack idea help. :"))

𓄷 aether 𖤐

you were sitting with him backstage, fixing his braid.

their performance was about to start, and aether asked you if he looked fine.

you told him he looks handsome. <3

of course the shy baby blushes so hard.

right now tvtdream is performing, so aether has some more time to spend with you.

but that soon cuts short when your friend from dckz, kaeya comes to visit you backstage.

aether would be so confused at first.

but then he'd stare at you two in horror when he'd realize you were friends.

"oh, (y/n)." the blue haired man called out, wrapping his arms around you for a quick embrace. he ruffled your hair playfully, his gaze then averting towards aether. "oh, am i interrupting something ?" a thin smirk then spread on his lips - most likely to mess with aether even more. aether's eyes twitched in response and he let out a sigh before his lips formed a pout.

this man will be jealous that another man tries to take up all of your attention.

especially when it's someone as flirty as kaeya.

and especially when he's also from a rival group.

he'd cling to you and glare at kaeya until he leaves.

then he'd question your friendship with kaeya.

he'd learn how to get used to it, but he'd still be a bit possessive over his manager.

𓄷 venti 𖤐

the two of you were sitting at the studio and discussing their upcoming comeback.

the rest of the members had no arrived yet, so he used this time to hang out with you more.

usually, he was an energetic man and was wildly touchy.

not out of possession though - but because that was how he was built.

but then zhongli appeared, greeting you.

the two groups were sharing the same studio, so it was no surprise that he'd seen them walking around once in a while.

but to learn you were friends with.. one of them ?

THE BETRAYAL.

"good morning, (y/n)." the tall brunette greeted with a hum. he was your friend for as long as he could remember, but hearing you decided to associate yourself with 4nemo - he was surprised to say the least. but he didn't let that divide you. wish the same could say about venti; mostly because of the expression on his face.

nO VENTI DON'T ATTACK HIM-

you'd have to hold him back.

"am i not enough to be your friend."

he doesn't mind you having other friends, but zhongli of all people ?

just like aether, he'd be a pouty baby.

"you're my manager so don't talk to them" would be his mentality.

𓄷 xiao 𖤐

the two of you were sitting in a coffee shop, enjoying the break you finally got since the two of you were pretty overworked.

you drank your coffee, xiao drank his.

the two of you just silently enjoyed each other's presence.

once in a while you'd struck a conversation since xiao wasn't the one to speak up first.

mostly your conversations would be about work.

and what a surprise when your lunch gets suddenly ruined.

not by paparazzis.

but by non other than childe.

xiao's expression would remain stoic.

bUT THE PAIN HE FEELS INSIDE.

poor guy.

"oh, hey comrade. didn't expect to see you here." the ginger greeted with a chuckle. he wrapped his arms around you for a quick hug before noticing you were sitting and eating lunch with the man from his rival group. "oh, xiao." he snickered whilst his gaze moved from you to xiao, who slowly grew more and more irritated with his presence. "i didn't know you were on a date. when will we ever meet up ?" he hummed, mostly to tease xiao who now got up from his seat.

this guy.

he'd probably hiss at tartaglia.

"leave them alone, you mere mortal."

would be overly protective of you and quite possessive.

next thing you know is that because of his outburst, there would now be a dating scandal surrounding you two.

𓄷 kazuha 𖤐

the two of you were enjoying your day off by walking around the mall.

of course, the two of you got attention from fans and paparazzis since he was a member of a popular group after all.

he'd lead you carefully through the crowd.

you're lucky he knows how to deal with fame.

the two of you enjoyed walking around, buying each other gifts as a form of showing gratitude.

and then diluc spotted the two of you and approached.

unlike the other members of dckz; diluc wasn't the type to tease - or anything of that sort.

instead, he greeted you with a bow of his head whilst showing you what he had picked up.

"hello, (y/n)." diluc greeted shortly, his red hues wandering to you. he held a necklace in his hands, one that he had just bought moments ago. "i bought this for you, to show how grateful i am for this friendship." the male spoke before going behind you to put the necklace on you. kazuha stared blankly, gripping his fists tightly at how touchy diluc was with you.

i feel like he'd be the type to try to get back your attention by showing you the things he had bought you earlier.

oh, the pink teddy he got you minutes ago ? he'd hold it out to you.

he'd also question why you're friends with diluc.

i think that he'd be a lot calmer about this than the other three.

though next time he'd appreciate your honesty if you were to befriend his rivals while working with him.

#nooo don’t be mad.. ure so cute aha #<333 idol au chefs kiss #callaria reads

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callaria · 3 years

Text

i love you (but not how i used to)

pairing: baal x gn!reader

genre: angst, tragedy, it’s just pure pain okay

tw: unhealthy relationships (??) reader is manipulating baal under orders from the revolution

notes: i’m so sorry

the next time you see her, the raiden shogun is lit up in the wrong forms, the wrong angles, the wrong shadows. it has been months – a little over a year – since the sakoku decree and vision hunt decree had been put into motion, the night they last said goodbye. mortals like you know of the way of the world, the way it goes on spinning mercilessly without your permission, without care of what change can bring ruin to you.

(why would the world need to care? you and your kind are nothing but mortal, your lifetimes simply a speck of dust compared to a divine being like her)

but baal doesn’t care, you’re quite sure of it. for the gods, time is insignificant. they remain unchanging, unrelenting, until celestia themselves decide the fate that awaits them at the end of their journey. baal herself knows that the cycle of the world means that it is only a matter of time until they come to the moment in which she finally gets what she wants, to the countless visions in the hands of a statue of the thousand-armed, hundred-eyed god, to the achievement of true eternity, to you in her grasp.

but there are things even the electro archon does not know, the things you haven’t – and will never – tell her. you do not tell her what you have discovered beyond the borders of the land, that the revolution coming to rise is greater, stronger than she thinks. you do not tell her that you have been with their ranks, that your betrayal is merely just another part of their careful plan to bring an end to her search for eternity. you do not tell her any of this, and she will not question it either, not when her piercing gaze is so focused on the gift (a curse) clutched in your palm.

“for me?” baal croons, holding her hand out towards you. you glance anxiously at the guards positioned by her throne, but she only shakes her head, “come, my dear. you know no one here will hurt you.”

as long as you do as she says, is the message clear in her escorts’ expressions.

you swallow, and take a step. as the distance between the both of you closes, baal’s smile grows. there’s no denying her glee when it’s so clear in her expression.

(you wonder when was the last time you had ever seen her this happy. was her smile as wide as it was when she held you under the falling cherry blossoms? before this search for eternity, the true divinity; before the sakoku decree and vision hunt decree, there was a time when the guards in her halls watched you and her with fond smiles instead of those tense looks on their faces now, a time when the halls of the home that you both once called ‘ours’ were not so cold, a time when you could stand beside baal with confidence, an unrelenting faith in her actions as archon and inazuma’s raiden shogun.

it all seems so long ago.)

it’s not as if her love now is directed at the vision you place atop her palm. she smiles at it, yes, but then she hands it to ayaka and tells her to go on with 'the usual’, and turns to you with that oh so familiar, unfiltered adoration in her eyes. what was once a sight that brought your heart so much warmth and joy now only makes you hesitate, the memory of gorou’s firm hands on your shoulders and determined gaze on your own flashing in your mind.

“she has never stopped loving you. not now, not ever.”

you have never wished for your leader to be more wrong.

baal notices you stop, her expression falling as she weighs her options. then, slowly, she reaches out and touches your fingers with the tips of her own. when you do not flinch away, she takes your hands and intertwines your fingers, smiling to herself lightly as she finally holds you once more.

(you hate it. you hate how she still cares for you so genuinely, even after your disappearance and betrayal. you hate how she still loves you.

this would be so much easier if she didn’t.)

“i missed you,” she whispers, watching you with soft eyes. and yet behind that affectionate look is a careful, cunning gaze. she may love you, but she will still watch you. betrayals are not so easily forgotten by the raiden shogun.

quiet, delicate, you lift her hand and press your lips against her knuckles, “i missed you as well, my lady.”

you think your heart breaks with the way her face lights up, so full of hope that she finally has you, and baal’s arms come to wrap themselves around your frame, warm and loving and so, so familiar. but her breath feels ominous against your neck, like prickles upon your skin.

remember your mission.

you think of gorou, the rest of the revolution and its ranks waiting in their camps for the first coded word from you once the sun sets and the archon has finally laid to rest for the day. their hopes and dreams for inazuma as it once was, before those damned decrees barring them from ever leaving or entering their homeland and the shadows of vision hunters at every corner looking for their next target.

(you think of baal. the person she once was, the person you once loved.

gone.)

you close your eyes and hold her just a little bit tighter. even with the state of her nation, the violence and fear raging in their streets, she still smells like the fresh spring blossoms, sweet and fragrant (you had once loved the scent of it so)

(think of our time together as my final goodbye, my love.)

#i have...... Mixed emotions towards baal #im heartbroken over the thought of a character that isn’t even out yet 😭#callaria reads

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