enzistragedy
enzi
“Who caused Macbeth to spiral into his ultimate downfall? The witches, his fate, people he surrounded himself by, or himself.”
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i am large. i contain multitudes.
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school hit. it’s bad again now. i have no motivation. i really wanna start streaming and doing something with my life. i dont know where to start because i don’t have the utlities to. my life is so depressing right now. i dont know what to do. it was supposed to be so good but then covid hit. im so screwed.
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it’s getting better. day 1- learned about my astrology chart and cleaned up my room. i plan to be productive, healthy, and happy.
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time is just a made up construct. new years is literally not a thing.
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damn this sucks. like really bad. coronavirus fucked up my life so hard it’s like there is no going back.
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maybe it’s just cause im intoxicated i dont know. but i really hope things will change.
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at least it feels nice to cry.. to actually feel something. my parents are awful. just two will be fine.
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this is kinda nice.. it’s like an easier way to journal considering this page isn’t getting any support but that’s fine :) today i did a crystal mining set thing and finally got ready today after being sick. i got my room and everything together too so that’s nice. now i am watching some among us, it is honestly very comforting. i hope life starts getting better now. i am completely open to everything.
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watched this last night until 4am. used to be one of my favorite gameplays and was such a good rendition of the game. felt good to stay up so late watching something.
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i wish i could stop feeling so sad during happy songs. feelings of wishing i was happy and was experiencing what i used to. but it’s just gone now.
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sick, thinking of what life could have been so far. do you ever think how one little thing could change your whole entire future. like i can go punch a teacher or throw a chair across the room, and it will become a ripple effect with a ruined reputation, lower respect, lower social standard. but that is just society and how they judge someone i guess.
another subject i wanna discuss is how someone becomes famous, or gains a following. you know how hard that shit is.. even if you are attractive, you have to do a certain thing that follows what everyone is liking at the moment. you have to be creative.. or extremely basic. im thinking tiktok in specific here, you would think it would be easy, by how many people blow up on that app.. but it is not. i tried. i just think it would be an experience you know, i want to experience everything and live out a life where i am satisfied with everything i have accomplished or done. i dont know how to do that considering i want to be so much.. with so little time. i am so unmotivated and lazy to do things i actually wanna do.
i wanna:
learn the ukelele, find a job, stream, paint, draw, write, manifest, start businesses, learn, do something nobody my age is trying to do right now.
i just cant bring myself to start. hopefully i figure it out soon.
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hey, welcome to my safe space. posting my feelings on a public diary and some cool photos i find or take. stay with me, i promise it won’t be boring.
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