firstyoudrawacircle

[firstyoudrawacircle]

i headcanon that creepers are fluffy and feathery with each feather a different kind of the green

#minecraft #creeper #mineblr ig?

[firstyoudrawacircle]

PRESENTATION????

bi flag but it's color picked from this screenshot of megamind

#reblog

[firstyoudrawacircle]

for everyone who only saves one time and not multiple consecutive times in pokemon

how

#pokemon #game talk #well i mean not swsh but #gaming #how

[firstyoudrawacircle]

Please tell me so I can understand this

You have a side blog dedicated to throwing hate at pan people, like me

And then you come in the comments and say it's because of your metal breakdown?

I don't get how these two are connected to each other? Please explain this to me

I have severe depression, internalised homophobia and am still able to differ between my feelings and throwing hate at other people.

I really wanna understand this

maybe "mental breakdown" wasn't the right word. i'm not sure what was the right one, so i just used that.

i have a wall of text for background info, so i'm unsure how to "tl;dr" it...if you want a shorter version tho i might be able to, but i'll keep the more important parts in bold.

so look, i'm sorry that i hurt you like this. i'm sorry i hurt everyone. none of this justifies my behavior, but i'm glad to try and give you some context. i just made the account today and mass reblogged everything. and i may have not worded it right. so i don't know how to explain it well but my mind has a tendency of going from one extreme to the other. the best way to describe this is if my moral compass were to be spinning like a ceiling fan. i have no idea how this phenomenon happens, some of it may be rooted in "trying to look cool" but it makes me look like total idiot in the end and sometimes i don't tell people because it makes me look like i'm belittling their problems or justifying myself/putting myself in a positive light when i'm fully responsible for what happened. i don't want to use my condition as an excuse, but maybe looking into the condition will help me. the only things i'm diagnosed with are autism and adhd, but i don't know if any of autism is part of the feeling or a whole other thing that passed the radar.

in fact, i used to ID as pan too. i don't even know if i still do anymore or not. everything just feels like a blur nowadays. i'm still leaving in as much details as possible

it all started back a few months ago where i made a post about things that BaBs said but it got traction and i deleted the post due to the attention exclus were giving it. even to this day i get invisible notifications about it (when the bubble appears with a "1" or a "2" but there's nothing there). i even argued with someone about the debate to the point of getting blocked once. i realized that was pretty stupid of me to do since it kinda collapsed my mood.

fast forward and we go to this week. i wanted to "look at both sides of the argument" since my taste in things got dull over time. i started getting into the psychology of "if a question doesn't have an answer, the side asking it is right" (which looking back now was a little stupid of me considering other people know more about topics than me and i shouldn't be jumping to conclusions even if i can't answer them).

then i questioned the labels on a chatroom (discord server in specific) and got warned, (which looking back at it any interpretation of the two labels is valid if they don't harm one another) so out of blind rage i started going to everywhere and making a hissy fit about the label, leading it all back to tumblr. and then i hurt your feelings along with several others.

i've lost friends this way before, so this incident is absolutely not the first time i've made a scene and went on a harassment spree. because of this, i'm always in the mindset of wanting to help people for a change, but never actually getting to it. whenever i lash out like this, it makes me think that i really never changed from back then. i'm not even sure if that's false anymore. and sometimes i tell my self i'm human, i'm bound to make mistakes. but maybe i'm just like the rest of them (people who say they've "changed for the better" but haven't.)

now that i've taken awareness of my actions, i just need to fix them. i'll be deleting the sideblog promptly after this ask. if there's anything else i need to do to compensate, don't be afraid to ask more or say anything!

#asks #serious talk #apology #that was hypocrisy on my end

[firstyoudrawacircle]

what song will the oompa loompas sing for that

How would you die in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

Bullet to the head

[firstyoudrawacircle]

is there a name for that aesthetic that's like

humble diner that's also a bar/tavern, red brick walls (sometimes with vines growing on them), has an old but homely feel to it, sometimes there's logs or furnaces

#ask tumblr #genuine question yet again #fydas.txt

[firstyoudrawacircle]

oh, i will

Sorry to disappoint but

Roll Cake still ugly not even a costume could save his ass.

#roll cake comky :3 relboog

[firstyoudrawacircle]

*forms cations in a very edgy manner*

that's so metal

#chemistry #dad jokes #i post literally everything on this blog :/ #fydas.txt

[firstyoudrawacircle]

GUYS IMPORTANT

is there a gender-neutral/nonbinary nintendo character who's primary color is white?

#gaming #nintendo #important question #trivia #can be any nintendo game

[firstyoudrawacircle]

there are two kinds of people

[firstyoudrawacircle]

water

[firstyoudrawacircle]

me when all my interests are cartoony and quality is constantly decreasing so i have to resort to liking older and older stuff and even fan content which is getting a bit harder to find every day but i like them regardless

#rbleog

[firstyoudrawacircle]

compilation

#lebrog

[firstyoudrawacircle]

you scheming something here tumblr staff?

world domination?

It's World Sleep Day

Log off.

Go back to bed.

#reolbg

[firstyoudrawacircle]

thanatophobia; do not come within a mile radius wearing a grim reaper costume

Your phobias, let me hear ‘em

#reblög #also this is a joke btw i am unsure if i genuinely have it or my brain is pulling a trick on me

[firstyoudrawacircle]

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME????????????????????????????????????????????????

people be like "no thoughts head empty" but cmon u sure? have you been struggling to form regular sentences have you been crying for no reason whatsoever? yeah??? what?????? i mean cmon guys what is this...what do you mean...

[firstyoudrawacircle]

people be like "no thoughts head empty" but cmon u sure? have you been struggling to form regular sentences have you been crying for no reason whatsoever? yeah??? what?????? i mean cmon guys what is this...what do you mean...

#no thoughts head empty #rant #vent