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Update on Benny the Spooder: He pulled a classic Benny where he was out and about when I came in and then snuck back into le shadows. What I now can see is that it wasn't a "hiding so I can kill you" type deal, it's more goofy than that. We probably both went "oh shit" when I walked in, we stood in awkward silence for a bit and when I looked away to pick up my tooth brush, he said, "yeah I'll just... get outta your hair" with an awkward smile. So in short we are old school acquaintances who saw each other at the mall. Progress!

#benny the spooder #arachnophobia #arachnophobe #spider #unlearning arachnophobia #battling phobias #spooder

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Update on Benny the Spooder: The lil dude came back to stop by and I was actually pleasantly surprised to see him. I'd call that progress. He either just dropped in quick or he's just chillen underneath the cabinet which i don't mind honestly. Thanks Benny, the real g honestly.

#unlearning arachnophobia #arachnophobia #arachnophobe #spider #battling phobias #benny the spooder #spooder

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ooohhhhh yesss it was worth it to wake up! take that you motherfuckin speed machine. SMOOOOTHHH OPERATOORRR!!!!!

#f1 #carlos sainz #smooth operator #ferarri #THAT'S WHY HES THE GOAT!!! THE GOAT!!!

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also is it worth it to wake up at 5:45am tomorrow morning for F1 just to watch Verstappen win by 16 seconds again?

#f1 #why is the next tag option after F1 f1 x reader? #it's too early for disappointment #it's also too early to hear the dutch anthem #do i sleep on the couch just so it'll be easier to get there? #or do i watch it on my computer in my room? #nope can't do that cuz that'll wake my mom up #guess I'm sleepin here and deciding whether its worth it or not in the morning #actually that's why they have headphones #i aint gon be screaming at 6 in the morning so heck why not #darn nope I'm only logged in on the tv #guess i gotta haul my ass up that early if i wanna see ferrari come this close again just to watch em crash and burn

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Update on Benny the Spooder: He has moved out of my residence and I kinda miss seeing his spiny stringy hairball esc form next to my sink every night. Peace lil dude, you scared the shit outta me and then let me chill out with you bud. thanks dude, hope i dont see yo giant momma showin up at my door askin where you been 🩵🕷️

#arachnophobia #arachnophobe #spider #unlearning arachnophobia #battling phobias #phobia #benny the spooder #spooder

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Update on Benny the Spooder: He is back in his OG position and has brought his legs together so he looks more tiny and manageable. ⭐⭐⭐⭐🚫 4/5 stars on yelp today for arachnophobia journey.

#unlearning arachnophobia #arachnophobe #arachnophobia #benny the spooder #spider #spooder

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Today on my unlearning arachnophobia journey: So I've been lettin this long legged bozzo called Benny camp out next to my sink so I can learn to be like "ah that? that's just Benny" Then tonight this motherfucker MOVES. He moves out of his lil side pocket and into the light like Beauty and the Mark of the Beast and I clock him and I'm like "ah yeah that? that's just Benny that MOVES now." and I keep checkin him and I move my head and he's gone. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS GONE. I look a bit closer and he's returned to his original place and I'm like "okay. That's just Benny, the guy that's considerate and backs up when you're freaked out." Nope. I checked back in and he's FULLY GONE NOW. So now I'm like "Ah shit, that's Benny the guy who's planning an assassination sneak attack."

Long story short I had to finish flossing in the other bathroom. So... progress?

#arachnophobia #unlearning arachnophobia #battling phobias #spooders #spider #specifically this one lil bitch called Benny #phobia progress

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Hey kids of the internet... let auntie gay talk to you for a minute. There is so much stuff on the internet and I know that sounds exciting and it is, but it can also be really scary. I grew up in the high of creepypastas, gore fanart and messed up erotica. It scarred me for life. Shock value content practically rewired my brain in the worst ways. There are things I like that I shouldn't know I like yet.

Example: I did my first bdsm test when I was 14 and almost half of the categories were over 50%. That's not normal. You shouldn't know about that at 14. I'm a profound supporter for kink obviously but I shouldn't know so much about it before I'm even an adult.

Yes, has most of the stuff I've seen in kink been great and fun? Sure. Has a substantial portion been too much for me? Yes. Did those things stick with me for life and eat at me at night? Yes. It screwed with my head and endorphins made me believe I liked it in the moment and after the content was over I was messed up for days.

Kids should not have access to this stuff. And that's just sexual stuff like porn. There's even worse out there. Graphic gore fanart, explicit true crime, exposure to addiction and harmful behaviour. These are all things I found when I was like 12. To give you the context of 12 year old life, I had a mural of huge pink pony stickers on my walls and still wore neon yellow pants with neon orange jackets.

Parents, kids can still have their privacy but you need to monitor what they are consuming. There's too much out there for you to not do this anymore. Put in safeguards, use YouTube kids, put on safe search etc. There needs to be more options for child safety but these are all the bare minimum. Do check ins.

It is really really important. All of these things have made me desensitized to borderline graphic torture and has messed with my view on relationships and sex and all of those intimate happy things. Once you see something it snowballs.

Parents, look out for your kids. Kids. Realise the danger. If you've seen stuff already, try to limit your own use, be cautious on what you think you can handle, better safe than traumatised. It's hard. It's already in your head now you can't go back to before the exposure but you can limit how much farther you go. It can always get worse than what you've seen. And that isn't a challenge or meant to be enticing. That's a bad thing that you should not seek out. Ask for help to limit your use, if you see videos make sure to click the "not interested" button and it might slowly dwindle out of your feed.

I get that most of you don't care that this is what you're exposed to but for those of you who can feel the same nausea in the pit of your stomach when I'm talking about seeing too much... this is for you. Please. Take my advice and try to stop.

Your future self will thank you more than you could realise. ❤️

#real talk #online trauma #gore #the internet isn't safe #keep your kids safe #internet safety #child safety #limit your use #screen for content #check your kids phone #content monitoring #desensitisation #sex #sex talk #porn #porn addiction #phone addiction #gore addiction #stay safe

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When it comes to getting out of spiralling tactics I believe in "ranting to yourself and then seeing some weird shit like a

👹 FOKKEN KAKKERLAK 👹

and gaining perspective" supremacy

#fokken kakkerlak

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Tesla Tunnel be like

#fuck elon musk #fuck elongated muskrat #tesla #tesla tunnel #they're gonna die in there #somebody call osha #an osha officer who doesn't take bribes

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Oh my God, I just walked into my smol bathroom and realised there was a smol mirror in a shelf. THIS MEANS I CAN CHECK FOR SPIDERS ABOVE THE DOORWAY IN A SAFE MANNER!! I AM SO HAPPY RN

#arachnophobia #arachnophobe #yes this is the extent of my phobia #it's not called irrational for nothing #mirrors are a saviour #finding secret details for my spider safety is a highlight for me #burn it with fire #if i see it i can slowly back away and then crawl up in a ball and cry

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Two ads on a mobile game back to back. A hunting sniper game. And an advertisement for a game reserve. Now if that doesn't describe mobile ads I don't know what does.

#mobile ads #ads are weird #mobile apps need to be policed #mobile ads should be a crime

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I've only finished the second chapter and The Picture of Dorian Gray is more gay than gay sex

#the picture of dorian gray #gay #so so so gay #we need to up our gayme #how are we less gay than the 1890s?

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mkay so at this point I have decided that instead of dealing with billionaire-bizarro-land, lets send all our aspiring trillionaire-conglomorates up in a space shuttle on their merry way to Mars or whatever planet they want to colonise. We don't want you here and neither do you, so get outta here and into your privately owned villa in your privately owned country on your privately owned planet and let us handle the earth we actually love and want to rehabilitate. Enjoy your space rocks like the robot aliens you are and we will try to undo the damage you've done. Thank you!

#fuck billionaires #fuck amazon #fuck elon musk #enjoy mars you weirdos #we're going on a trip in our favourite rocket ship #elon musk more like be gone mollusk 😐 #team rocket's blasting off again #if billionaires don't become human in the next year I will lose my shit #beep boop world domination #“ah yes I'm saving humanity” no you want ore. you want lots and lots of beautiful metals. #y'all saw britian and said “that but more” #looking at you Bezos 👀 you're just bordering on the slavery part #this planet is worth saving #if you don't see that then I can't help you

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...

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T H R I S T Y FOR THE T H I R S T Y

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What a year this week has been.