incorrect-catcf-quotes
incorrect-catcf-quotes
Incorrect Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Quotes
Exactly what it says on the tin. (No hate anons please. I do not post misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, etc. quotes or anything sexual.)
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 11 hours ago
Conversation
Wonka: I had an accident today at the salad bar. I smacked my face into the clear sneeze guard and knocked a crock of garbanzo beans onto the floor. A fat woman slipped on them and somersaulted onto the soup-of-the-day tureen. Then her husband threw a bowl of broccoli florets at me and I ducked, falling facefirst into the French dressing. Then the woman attacked me, force-feeding me jalapeño peppers and stuffing black olives in my ears while her husband put a cold pewter plate down my pants.
Augustus: So, vhat vas zhe soup of zhe day?
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 14 hours ago
Conversation
Augustus: Most dangerous places on earzh? Volcanoes.
Mike: Why?
Augustus: Novhere to grab a bite to eat.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 14 hours ago
Conversation
Augustus: I vonder who invented ze meatball.
Mike: What do mean, 'invented'?
Augustus: Vell, some guy back in ze fifteenzh century must have said, "Yes, meat is good, but it vould be even better in ball form."
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 14 hours ago
Conversation
Violet: We'll soon be facing our doom; I can feel it!
Augustus: Hungry is vat I feel.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 14 hours ago
Conversation
Augustus: Vat makes you happy?
Veruca: You do.
Augustus: Oh.
Veruca: Why, what makes you happy?
Augustus: Sausage.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 15 hours ago
Conversation
Violet: Don’t worry. No one else is going to ask Veruca out.
Augustus: Vy not?
Violet: Because Veruca is terrifying.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 15 hours ago
Conversation
Augustus: [sips a drink] You know, I zink I’ll call zat a Veruca.
Veruca: Why, because of the bitter aftertaste?
Augustus: No, because vonce you’ve tasted it, it’s all you vant to drink.
Veruca: [laughs]
Augustus: I zought it vas qvite a good line.
Veruca: It was a very good line.
Augustus: But you’re laughing at it.
Veruca: Not so much it, as you.
Augustus: Oh, vell, zat’s fine, zen.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 15 hours ago
Conversation
Veruca: Oh my god, goals.
Augustus: ?
Veruca: You called me babe. Friendship goals.
Augustus: Ohh. I vas flirting, but OK.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 15 hours ago
Conversation
Violet: Are you okay???
Mike: Yes.
Violet: Are you hurt?
Mike: No.
Violet: THEN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, KNUCKLEHEAD?!
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 15 hours ago
Conversation
Augustus: I juscht ended a 5 year relationship.
Charlie: Are you okay?
Augustus: It’s ok, it vasn’t mein relationship.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 15 hours ago
Conversation
Wonka: Okay. Rule number 1, do not go off on your own. Rule number 2, if you do go off on your own, do not go in the woods. Rule number 3, if you do go into the woods, never, ever, EVER make out in the woods, or you will DIE in the woods…
Charlie:
Wonka: Where’s Augustus and Veruca?
Charlie: Breaking rules 1, 2 and 3.
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Quote
I bought a suit. You've seen it. Now it's covered in mud. This town doesn't have a one hour cleaner so I had to buy a new suit, except the only store you could buy a new suit in has got the flu. Got that? The whole store got the flu so I had to get this in a second hand store. So it's either wear the leather jacket which I know you hate, or this. So I wore this ridiculous thing for you.
Joseph Bucket Jr., to Georgette Bucket
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Conversation
Violet: You never take me anywhere but this corner of the Chocolate Room.
Mike: I think of this as "our place".
Violet: How sweet!
Mike: I'm also cheap.
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Conversation
Mrs. Teavee, points to Mr. Teavee: That’s my boyfriend, suckers!
Mrs. Gloop: Your husband, Doris.
Mrs. Teavee: My husband! Even better!
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Conversation
Veruca: Huh….
Violet: ….What?
Veruca: Nothing, I just didn’t know you had it in you. You don’t seem the type.
Violet: The fact that you think you know anything about me at all, is genuinely hilarious.
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Conversation
Wonka: Listen, kid-
Mike: Please, call me Mike.
Wonka: I’d rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.
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Conversation
Charlie: You should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
Mike: Inside good. Outside bad.
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Conversation
Mike: This is a crazy idea. Insane. Stupid. It doesn’t make any sense.
Augustus: …Scho you’ll do it?
Mike: For you? Of course.
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Conversation
Mike: You’ve challenged me to a fight six times since we started talking.
Veruca: MAKE IT SEVEN!
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Quote
Zere's nuzzing wrong mit Herr Jones. He's just a fat, happy, lazy cat.
Gertrude Gloop
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