isthatmanahimbo

[isthatmanahimbo]

Happy Engage release week, everyone! We finally got ours in, and we've already got our eyes on some striking specimens. Sigurd continues to shine, of course, but we will happily open our arms to any new himbos this franchise might produce.

By anonymous request, today we present to you Sigurd!

Sigurd is the main character and lord of the first half of the game Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, released for the Super Famicom system in 1996. He’s mentioned within the following game, Thracia 776, and has a variety of units in the Heroes mobile game. Sigurd, and Genealogy as a whole, are fan favorites of the franchise, and are notable for breaking new ground in a number of ways - for example, Sigurd was the first Lord unit to have a mount or the ability to use lances. This becomes important in a second.

Due to the graphic limitations at the time of the game’s release, Sigurd isn’t much to look at physically. He’s no mountain of a man, but he’s no waif, either, sporting shoulders easily five times the width of his hips, as was the art style prevalent for the time. It can be assumed, however, from his martial prowess that he is more fit than the average person within his universe. What is notable about Sigurd is his strength and his metaphorical beefiness as a playable unit – though he can initially be dismissed by hardcore fans as the “Jagan” of his game (IE, a prepromoted unit that has a tendency to steal experience at the detriment of other units’ development), Sigurd’s reputation as potentially the most broken unit in the Fire Emblem franchise must be addressed. His stat bases and growths are incredible, he is a mounted unit in a game with the largest maps in the franchise, and he has the rare “genetic” ability to attack twice (a mechanic adjusted in later games to be become standard). It is not unusual to find entire runs just using Sigurd, because those 80’s-broad shoulders truly can carry the entire first half of the game. Beefy, perhaps not especially, but strong? The numbers speak for themselves.

But strength is nothing without kindness, and Sigurd continues to shine in this regard. A picture of knightly ideals, the entire game’s premise hinges on Sigurd’s willingness to fight for the smallfolk of his duchy and the kingdom at large, and to put himself on the line. It must be mentioned at this point that this boy is more heart than sense, because as soon as he learns that shenanigans are afoot (something that he recognizes far before his peers, to his credit), he sets off by himself to stop them. Not “by himself” in the way we normally use it in wartime contexts, wherein we mean “he and a small retinue” - we mean individually, as a man, by himself. Along the way he picks up friends and allies to help him out (and chastise him for being so fucking dumb), but this man really did think to himself “you know who ought to be enough to stop an entire army? Me.” The layers of meta in that Sigurd-only speedrun strat make this author’s head spin.

And now Sigurd’s most exemplary characteristic: is Sigurd a slut? Does Sigurd fuck? For anyone passing familiar with the game, the answer is a trumpeting fanfare of yes, but it cannot be overemphasized how much this is true. In the middle of the invasion of a neighboring castle during the very first chapter, future-wife and mother of his child Deirdre wanders out of a nearby forest for like five minutes to check out what all the hubbub is about. Sigurd takes one (1) look at this random ass woman and decides “that’s it, I’ll throw it all away right here” - excepting of course that he can have his cake and eat it too, because he’s Sigurd, so they marry in the same cutscene, and very, very shortly thereafter have a child.  The speed at which this man went penis delirious cannot be exaggerated, and the ramifications for Little Sigurd’s curiosity build the foundation for the entire second half of the game.

No matter what you think of Sigurd as a character, as a unit, as a man, real recognizes real - and that’s a real himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 20

#is that man a himbo? #fire emblem engage #looking at you boucheron #although if we're being honest this author hesitates to predict that anyone might top sigurd's slut score

[isthatmanahimbo]

Make sure to get your votes in! So many fine specimens.

Who did we vote for, you ask? A real himbo never kisses and tells.

#info.txt #we've analyzed a couple of these #and we have a few more in our list to analyze in the future!

[isthatmanahimbo]

Hi there! If you don't mind that there are several requests for you to analyze them to see if they're himbo or not. You don't have to do them if you don't want to 👍🏻

Scorpia (She-Ra 2018)

Kronk (the classic)

George of the Jungle (Brendan Fraser)

Launchpad McQuack

Noi (Dorohedoro)

Joey Tribbiani (Male bimbo??)

Raphael Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

Joseph Joestar

Soren (Dragon Prince)

Whoa mama! We got us here a veritable connoisseur of empty-headed beefcake. And as they say, great minds think alike - we had a few of these on our list to analyze!

Requests have been turned off for a little bit, but we'll take this as our sign from the Great Himbo in the Sky to get our tushies in gear and release these himbos into the wild. Thanks for the ask, we'll get some of these started!

#wanna see me comb my hair really fast? requests #bring on the danish chicks and cream soda! answered

[isthatmanahimbo]

Reviews are in! The community dubs thee Sir Sigurd, Himbo!

By anonymous request, today we present to you Sigurd!

Sigurd is the main character and lord of the first half of the game Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, released for the Super Famicom system in 1996. He’s mentioned within the following game, Thracia 776, and has a variety of units in the Heroes mobile game. Sigurd, and Genealogy as a whole, are fan favorites of the franchise, and are notable for breaking new ground in a number of ways - for example, Sigurd was the first Lord unit to have a mount or the ability to use lances. This becomes important in a second.

Due to the graphic limitations at the time of the game’s release, Sigurd isn’t much to look at physically. He’s no mountain of a man, but he’s no waif, either, sporting shoulders easily five times the width of his hips, as was the art style prevalent for the time. It can be assumed, however, from his martial prowess that he is more fit than the average person within his universe. What is notable about Sigurd is his strength and his metaphorical beefiness as a playable unit – though he can initially be dismissed by hardcore fans as the “Jagan” of his game (IE, a prepromoted unit that has a tendency to steal experience at the detriment of other units’ development), Sigurd’s reputation as potentially the most broken unit in the Fire Emblem franchise must be addressed. His stat bases and growths are incredible, he is a mounted unit in a game with the largest maps in the franchise, and he has the rare “genetic” ability to attack twice (a mechanic adjusted in later games to be become standard). It is not unusual to find entire runs just using Sigurd, because those 80’s-broad shoulders truly can carry the entire first half of the game. Beefy, perhaps not especially, but strong? The numbers speak for themselves.

But strength is nothing without kindness, and Sigurd continues to shine in this regard. A picture of knightly ideals, the entire game’s premise hinges on Sigurd’s willingness to fight for the smallfolk of his duchy and the kingdom at large, and to put himself on the line. It must be mentioned at this point that this boy is more heart than sense, because as soon as he learns that shenanigans are afoot (something that he recognizes far before his peers, to his credit), he sets off by himself to stop them. Not “by himself” in the way we normally use it in wartime contexts, wherein we mean “he and a small retinue” - we mean individually, as a man, by himself. Along the way he picks up friends and allies to help him out (and chastise him for being so fucking dumb), but this man really did think to himself “you know who ought to be enough to stop an entire army? Me.” The layers of meta in that Sigurd-only speedrun strat make this author’s head spin.

And now Sigurd’s most exemplary characteristic: is Sigurd a slut? Does Sigurd fuck? For anyone passing familiar with the game, the answer is a trumpeting fanfare of yes, but it cannot be overemphasized how much this is true. In the middle of the invasion of a neighboring castle during the very first chapter, future-wife and mother of his child Deirdre wanders out of a nearby forest for like five minutes to check out what all the hubbub is about. Sigurd takes one (1) look at this random ass woman and decides “that’s it, I’ll throw it all away right here” - excepting of course that he can have his cake and eat it too, because he’s Sigurd, so they marry in the same cutscene, and very, very shortly thereafter have a child.  The speed at which this man went penis delirious cannot be exaggerated, and the ramifications for Little Sigurd’s curiosity build the foundation for the entire second half of the game.

No matter what you think of Sigurd as a character, as a unit, as a man, real recognizes real - and that’s a real himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 20

#is that man a himbo?

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today’s article has actually been finished for a while, but we elected not to post it as it was just finished on the day of voice actor Billy Kametz’s untimely passing. Today we present a character much beloved in the meme community, the man, the myth, the legend: he is Ferdinand von Aegir.

Ferdinand is a playable unit character in Fire Emblem Three Houses is a playable character unit from Fire Emblem: Three Houses, released on the Nintendo Switch in 2019. As we are familiar, the basic idea of the Fire Emblem franchise is to develop units for strategic RNG combat – Three Houses takes this a step further and allows you to develop the same units over an extended period of time along straight paths or to make lateral jumps into unrelated classes. This is especially true with today's subject, for reasons we will discuss.

Originating as a member of the Black Eagle house from the Adrestian Empire, Ferdinand fills a few roles within the party and within the narrative. Notably, he is the self-proclaimed rival of future-Emperor Edelgard, and scion son of House Aegir which has until the events of the game been in control of the Empire from the shadows of bureaucratic red tape. He touts the value of nobility both in story cut-scenes and in his support conversations, and his character arc is often considered one of the better written ones in the game. As a unit, he is the house's resident Horse Boy, and boasts no proficiency weaknesses (a trait only shared by a handful of other units), meaning that he can feasibly go down any class path with little effort – the tradeoff to this his notoriously difficult recruitment requirement of Heavy Armor proficiency.

When discussing Ferdinand, it is easy to know where to begin: he is referred to by majority of the fandom as "Sunshine Boy", and for good reason! From the very beginning of the game, Ferdinand is brimming with enthusiasm and a do-good energy in everything that he does – who here isn't familiar with his proclamation of his name every single time you select his unit in combat? His stringent adherence to things he considers a noble's duty are what make him such a rich character (pun intended), and he often chafes at some of the callousness of antagonist characters, wanting to insert himself into the forefront of the action when possible. But it isn't just with aggression that he displays his kindness – what sets him apart from other noble characters in the game is his willingness and his eagerness to listen to his companions, and his respect for their opinions once voiced. His association with nobility equating to good-heartedness is so deep that it is even ingrained into his character design – after the timeskip he sports an incredible mane of long hair, and when it comes up in conversation it is revealed that he fell into a depression at the reveal his family's involvement in villainy and simply didn't cut his hair for five years.

This pure-hearted naievety doesn't merely present itself in a do-good attitude, either. Because he was raised to believe he can do anything (and, with the right direction, he often can thanks to his skill proficiencies), Ferdinand can often make blindly optimistic decisions that have the potential to bite him in the butt. In one instance after hearing that Edelgard, his self-proclaimed eternal rival, was able to kill a monster on her own, his sheer belief in his superiority causes him to attempt to fight two monsters at the same time, leading to Byleth needing to step in to save his life. Another instance of this is during a conversation with Dorothea, who revealed she does not like him due to his pride in his noble stature – in response to this, Ferdinand bakes her pastries to win her over, and she promptly points out that he did none of the actual hard work of harvesting or refining the materials, leaving him flummoxed. This author would not go so far as to call him unintelligent, as it is clear he has all the benefit and privilege of his station and the private education that goes with it, but it must be addressed that for much of the game, Ferdinand has a shallow, rose-colored view of the world, and does little deep consideration of any given situation unless forced. Big thinker, this boy is not.

But now we must get into Ferdinand's himbo-deficiencies. Although handsome, Ferdinand is not necessarily spectacular in his physical stature. His in-game body model is similar to many of his peers, if a bit slighter, and any buffness is not something that comes up in conversation. His base Strength stat is on the higher side, but his base Strength growth is nothing special. While it is true that he often becomes an invaluable unit in most playthroughs, much of this is the result of careful strategizing using the class system rather than his inherent talents (which actually focus more on speed and hitting quickly multiple times) - because of heavy reliance on RNG, it is possible that Ferdinand may need some hand holding and special attention for his stats to fall in line.

But we could forgive a good beefy Ferdinand unit his physical faults if it were not for his unfortunate lack in the Chad department. This is not to say that Ferdinand is not a valued member of his teams, but it is to say that his teammates have to do rather more digging to get to his soft gooey center. While the player has the benefit of seeing Ferdinand as a whole, from the beginning of his arc to end, and with all characters, many of Ferdinand's peers find him obnoxious, abrasive, and stubbornly reliant on his privilege. Indeed, many of Ferdinand's initial support conversations are outright hostile, well into A support range – and unlike other hostile character interactions, Ferdinand is mostly the recipient of this bad blood through actions of his own doing. He stumbles and gets off on the wrong foot, and spends the rest of his support chains making up for his poor first impressions. It is through these conversations that he learns and grows as a person, but it is also through these conversations that we see that Ferdinand's classmates...initially don't like him all that much. Where we the audience see our beloved Sunshine Boy, the rest of Garreg Mach sees that loud rich kid who tells everyone else to get good without the benefit of his good intentions.

In the end, the real Ferdinand von Aegir were the friends we made along the way – but he is no Ferdinand von Himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 15

If you’re able, please consider donating a few dollars to the Colon Cancer Coalition.

#is that man a himbo? #false friends! rating: not a himbo #fire emblem #fire emblem: three houses #fe3h #fe16 #ferdinand von aegir #ferdinand fire emblem #ferdinand fe3h

[isthatmanahimbo]

Reblogging for the big man’s big day. Happy birthday Balthus!

By request of @lost-disco-gay, today we bring you Balthus von Albrecht!

Balthus (Balthazar in the Japanese) is one of six playable DLC characters for Fire Emblem: Three Houses, released in 2020. The DLC allowed players access to new characters and classes, a new storyline and sidequests and a new area to explore, and the ability to feed cats and dogs around Garreg Mach monastery. In the story mode for his group, the Ashen Wolves, Balthus fills the rare role of a front-line healer in the new War Cleric class, allowing the player to combine white magic with the sacred power of punch, heretofore impossible as mages could not equip the gauntlet weapon. A previous member of the nobility in the Leicester Alliance, Balthus makes his home in the underground Abyss to avoid debt collectors.

One look at Balthus, and one struggles to remember that the basic premise of Three Houses is set in what is essentially a finishing school. Appropriate to his epithet “King of Grapplers”, Balthus stands at a towering 198cm (approx 6'6), and this man is cut as fuck. Before the timeskip, he wears his academy uniform (despite being the oldest of the “student” population at 27 years old, and having already attended the Officer’s Academy) with the coat entirely open - after the timeskip, he finally ditches the school uniform and picks up some different duds appropriate to his mountain-folk heritage, but once again does not bother to cover the vulnerable areas of his torso. Maybe it’s traditional, maybe it’s for intimidation, maybe he’s a little vain, who really cares, let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth to count its teeth when he we can instead count Balthus’s abs. 8 pack? 8 pack.

And before you start to get the impression that I’m about to tell you that this man has levels of depth to him, that he’s a thinker at heart, let me please disabuse you of that notion because Balthus is absolutely head-empty. This author could count on one hand the characters who show less intellectual prowess than Balthus – and what should he need to think for anyhow? As he himself tells us, Balthus has never met a problem he couldn’t just punch out, including hordes of monsters, and if for some reason a real strategy is required, then he’s got friends who can do that kind of thing way better than he does. The only sticking point in Balthus’s life are the groups upon groups (upon groups) of debt collectors after his head. Balthus’s solution to this, you might wonder? Borrowing more money of course. He’s good for it this time, he promises.

Now it might feel a little bit like Balthus is a selfish or callous individual, given what we’ve learned about him so far. What sort of man keeps borrowing money and putting his friends at risk over his (admitted) poor decision making? Well, generally, a very good one. Much of the money he initially borrowed, and a large reason he has such trouble paying the debts back, is because he’s attempting to create a better life for his mother, an Indigenous woman who married into nobility and was banished back to her clan when another “more suitable” heir was born. And before you think “okay, but taking care of just one family member does not a good person make”, you’re right! But a consistent thread in Balthus’s supports is that he doesn’t want to just take care of his own family – he wants to take care of everyone’s family, including those who are of much greater means than he is. Balthus understands the value of equal exchange, and the greatest thing he has to offer is protection and care for his loved ones and the loved ones of his loved ones. You know we love a family man, and Leicester’s King of Grapplers has got your back, pal.

As if all this wasn’t enough, as if Balthus’s kindness and martial prowess wasn’t enough to gain the respect of his peers for peak Chad, we get to see a rare instance of Slut for these games, as Balthus is one of but a handful of characters in Three Houses who expresses an explicit sexual interest in a character by Stacy’s Momming the Duke of the Leicester Alliance (said mother, for the record, is a duchess who married a foreign king, so it really speaks to Balthus’s self-confidence that he thinks he has a shot). Imagine going up to your boss’s boss at work, calling their mom a milf, and asking for her number. King shit.

King of Grappling, King of Himbos, King of Our Hearts: Balthus von Albrecht, everybody.

Total Himbo Score: 20

#is that man a himbo? #balthus von albrecht #balthazar von adalbrecht #balthus fire emblem #fire emblem: three houses #fe3h #fe16

[isthatmanahimbo]

(Mod Toto) Today is Balthus’ birthday! The Man, the Myth, the Legend finally punched his way to his party!

Everyone say Happy Birthday Balthus! 

[isthatmanahimbo]

I just wanted to say I just found this blog now I’m OBSESSED with it thank you for your service 🙏🏻

Thank you so much, we're glad you're enjoying it here! Just doing our part for the preservation of himbo culture.

#bring on the danish chicks and cream soda! answered #enough about you let's talk about me! anonymous

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we bring to you perennial fan-favorite Terry Jeffords!

Terry Jeffords is one of the main characters of Brooklyn 99, a Mike Schur and Andy Samberg project which aired on Fox in 2013, which moved to NBC for its final seasons from 2019 - 2021. Portrayed by Terry Crews, Jeffords is first the sergeant then lieutenant of the eponymous 99th precinct, and has variable roles throughout the series' tenure, most often filling the niche of mother hen adjacent to Captain Holt's stern father figure.

Given of course that he is played by Terry Crews, we can be assured that this man is beefcake central. Although it is often hidden under tasteful pastel shirts and ties patterned en vogue, Jeffords' physique is remarked upon at least once per episode, with the occasional episode centering around his stature. In one notable instance, he is unable to perform a undercover operation and must train Jake Peralta in his workout routine so that he may take his place – what actually takes place is a montage of Peralta desperately working to make up the lack in his physical prowess before giving up. This happens multiple times throughout the series. In another instance, Peralta takes a running leap at Terry, causing him to drop his coffee in favor of catching Peralta. When asked if it was any effort at all to hold up a grown man, Jeffords replies that it's about the same as holding a couple of grapes. Indeed, the entire precinct knows what's up with Sergeant Jeffords – and if it were not clear to the audience, we have regular reminders from Gina, for whom it is a running gag to attempt to get Terry to remove his shirt. Queen Gina speaking for all of us, as usual.

Now if you have been following this blog for a while, you will know that one thing that we value just as much as having the skill to make one's pecs dance (which we see Terry do onscreen multiple times), it is a family man, and Terry's a family man to a T. His introduction to the series and the first major character arc that he goes through has to do with the anxiety he feels as a new parent of twin baby girls - what would they and his lovely wife do if he were to fall in the line of duty? He overcomes this anxiety with the help of Gina and Captain Holt (and much departmental mandated therapy), but his love and respect for his wife and daughters shine through in every episode thereafter, and quite often carry over into all of his other relationships with the team. Terry could easily be played off as the stereotypical aggressive black man, but the show's narrative emphasizes that Terry's heart is as big as his muscles, and that he values his wife and all of the women in his life just as much as he does the yogurt in his fridge.

And it is clear that his comrades value him all the same. This author would hesitate to call a married and devoted man a slut (although we do learn that he and his wife conceived their children to Beyonce, so mad respect for that game), but we do know that Terry is a major Chad, having earned the respect of everyone in the 99 - indeed his team's reliance on his opinion of them often leads to some comedic miscommunications, such as when Amy and Gina discover that Terry is writing a childrens' book for his twins and that the two female leads are inspired by them. They bicker and argue over what this means until Terry delivers a rousing speech in the elevator about how they should come to trust and respect themselves a little bit more (which veers into charmingly awkward territory as the elevator ride only commences when Terry has finished). And Jake, main character that he is, has never had a bad thing to say about Terry that he hasn't immediately corrected.

If Terry is to have a flaw in himbodom, impeccable specimen that he is, it is that he is too intelligent. It would be easy to write it off as simply detective-savvy - the man is the sergeant of a major precinct in the largest local police organization in the world, after all - but we see demonstrated time and again that not only is Terry a genuinely intelligent man with a lot to offer in many academic pursuits, he's actually a huge-ass nerd. A notable instance is the case he insists on solving for the protection of a JRRT-GRRM-esque author that Terry has idolized since his childhood, using the book's lore and the author's own professional history to solve the case. Indeed, resident bookworm Amy indicates in one episode that if anyone in the precinct were to solve a particularly hard word-puzzle, it would be either her or Terry. Bold words from someone with more than a dozen organizational binders.

This author's ambivalence cannot be overstated when we say with certainty: that man is not a himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 21

#is that man a himbo? #false friends! rating: not a himbo #brooklyn 99 #b99 #terry jeffords #terry crews

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we bring to you another standout fan-favorite, Rengoku Kyoujurou!

Please be aware that this article will contain spoilers for the Mugen Train movie (aka the first half of the second season).

Rengoku is a secondary character in the smash-hit animanga series Demon Slayer, first published in Shounen Jump. He starred in the Mugen Train movie, released in Japan in 2020, which ended up being the highest grossing movie of the year worldwide and the highest grossing anime movie of all time – the same footage was then reworked and rereleased as the first half of the second season in 2021. Like most of the hashira in the series, Rengoku plays a role of mentor cum elder sibling to the main trio of Tanjiro, Zenitsu and Inosuke, and his role in the third act of the movie appropriately raises the stakes of the series from typical jaunty shounen romp into gritty horror-drama.

As with all other Demon Slayers, Rengoku's profession is in his body. Though we never see him out of uniform, we can assume that he is of a similar body type to many of the other characters with a similar silhouette. Standing at around 5'9, he does not cut an imposing figure necessarily, although we are told – both in dialogue and through his own actions – that he is a master of his craft. In databooks, when his peers (considered the strongest of their profession) hold friendly competitions, Rengoku often ranks somewhere in the middle of the pack when it comes to physical contests. Additionally, he is described as having "above-average durability", and this is clearly shown during his battle with the demon Akaza, during which Rengoku continues to battle with the utmost of his ability despite breaking most of his ribs, losing an eye, his skull beginning to cave in, and eventually with his opponent's arm shoved through his chest. He even toughs it out for several minutes after the arm is removed to confer his last rites. Buff, not particularly, but tough? Nigh unmatched.

If there were to be any qualities in which Rengoku is absolutely unmatched, it is his disposition. This guy's really got it all: he is charming and friendly, he is encouraging and gregarious, and he is unfailingly kind. We see a decent amount of his internal monologue during his time on screen, and he rarely has a negative thing to say about anyone – including his opponents. Even when Akaza strikes at a fallen Tanjiro, spurring Rengoku to insert himself between the two, he continues to speak respectfully as he lets Akaza know under no uncertain terms that their ideals are too opposite and that they could never be friends. Another instance of Rengoku's unfailing kind heart is when he reports to his father, belligerent after having fallen to drink, that he has succeeded the Flame Hashira title. His father responds with aggression and disdain, and when Rengoku's younger brother asks how the meeting went, Rengoku tells him frankly – but rather than dwelling on his father's negative feelings, Rengoku reassures his brother that he loves him, and then spends the rest of the afternoon training him.

His kindness rubs off on other people, even taciturn fellow-hashira Giyu (who most of his peers do not like). He charms everyone around him with his effusiveness, his infectious goodwill, and his competence. In databooks and a filler episode, we are told explicitly that all of his peers hold him in extremely high regard, and this attitude reflects on screen. Although Inosuke chafes at the idea of being told what to do, he reflects fondly on an exchange wherein Rengoku appears in a flash just long enough to give him orders before disappearing, with a dreamy tone of voice and a sparkling filter over the memory. Though Rengoku probably had little time for fucking, it is clear that he is a Chad in the extreme.

But as much as it pains this author to say, Rengoku could never master that ancient art of Himbo Breathing Style, as his brain moves too quickly, he is too sharp. In databooks, he is described as one of the smartest hashira of similar calibre to the resident chemist, and we see his intellectual prowess come to life as he strategizes and investigates what is occurring on the Mugen Train. He is able to assess a situation quickly and thoroughly at a bare glance, and is able to react appropriately - after being unconscious and in a dream state for the first part of the movie, upon waking he takes in the situation immediately and within thirty seconds he has issued orders and gotten things under control.

Just like everyone else in the fandom, Rengoku does set this author's heart ablaze, but there's no himbo to be found here.

Total Himbo Score: 18

#is that man a himbo? #false friends! rating: not a himbo #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #rengoku kyoujurou #kny rengoku

[isthatmanahimbo]

Muta from the cat returns, senshi from Dungeon Meshi and takeo from Ore Monogatari!! ?

Thanks for the requests! Our requests are closed for the moment, but if you'd like to hang onto these and send them in again once we've reopened, we'd be happy to look into these at that time!

#bring on the danish chicks and cream soda! answered #wanna see me comb my hair really fast? requests

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today by request of @lost-disco-gay, we bring you Laios Touden!

Laois Touden is a main character and party member of the manga series Dungeon Meshi, first released in 2014 in Harta magazine. Dungeon Meshi is a fantasy seinen series that riffs off of common dungeon crawler RPG tropes, such as having adventuring parties comprised of different races of people in different combat classes fighting against monsters, collecting treasure, and resting in inns and pubs – the conceit of the series takes the life of an RPG protagonist and takes it a step further, begging the question "what do you eat when you spend months underground?" and answering with the delightfully Darwinian "oh you know ; )"

Laios is the human armored unit of his adventuring party, taking place at the front-line of battles with fellow party member Senshi, the dwarf barbarian. Together, the two serve as the main muscle of the group, as well as sometimes caretakers and monster-nomming advocates to the more squeamish Marcille and Chilchuck. It is Laios's curiosity and monster know-how which introduces the party to Senshi and to monsters-as-meals as a whole, and his role as the enterprising academic of the group is emphasized often and loudly.

As the knight-adjacent character in the group, Laios can be easily spotted amongst his adventuring party, standing head-and-shoulders above his dwarf, elf, and halfling compatriots, and filling the panels with his frame. This author would not necessarily categorize him as Beefy, especially when compared with the stature of characters such as Senshi or other races such as orcs, it must be mentioned that he is of above-average size for his race compared to other human adventurers that we've seen. While undoubtedly much of this bulk can be attributed to the armor, we would be remiss if we did not mention the core-shreddedness a man would need to heft around 80+ pounds of plate armor (not to mention supplies) every day for his entire life. The art style of Dungeon Meshi leans more cartoon-y, but we can imagine Laios's pecs and the planes of his back are a sight to behold.

Far and away, Laios's most impeccable himbo qualities are his kindness and, more importantly, his respect for the women around him. The story begins when Laios's sister is devoured by a red dragon, and he rallies the party to retrieve her immediately – as anyone would, but he never misses an opportunity to talk about how Falyn would have handled this-or-that situation with expertise and kindness, and often laments that he wishes he had been taken instead. And in his dealings with elf mage Marcille, Laios defers to and advocates her expertise (sometimes even in opposition to his curiosity regarding what a certain monster will taste like). Though it can be easy to mistake Laios as the leader of the party and primary protagonist, Laios rather more often seeks the approval of Marcille for larger decisions. And his respect for women doesn't just extend to the women he knows – in an end-of-volume short, Laios, while a captive of orcs, discusses how the two races are not so different, and his orc captor mentions that the women are nothing alike. Laios quickly disagrees, and begins listing off positive qualities of the orc women nearby, humorously backtracking when his orc captor begins to get the wrong idea that Laios is attracted to his wife.

But it is here that we must discuss Laios's himbo-detractors. Ever well-meaning, Laios unfortunately does not have the social acumen to navigate such interactions with anything resembling expertise. His mouth is frequent residency to one or another of his feet, and he stumbles over his words upon the realization that something he said might be misconstrued (which is with fair frequency). At some points, this is to the detriment of only his comfort, but at other times it leaves strangers and friends with a bad taste in their mouths. In one instance quite early on, Marcille is captured by a man-eating plant, and once she is released Laios puts his scientist cap on and asks her if the monster's mouth was comfortable (something he once read in a book). He does not live the comment down quickly. In another situation, attempting to recover from the existential gloom of wishing he had been eaten by the dragon instead of his sister, he light-heartedly comments that if she had not been eaten the party would not have gotten to eat a delicious spirit sorbet – to which the party promptly shuts him down. Affable in his buffoonery to us the audience, poor Laios does not have the makings of a Chad even amongst his loved ones (let alone the swerve required for a high Slut ranking).

And last but not least, his true defining characteristic: Laios is a sharp dude. Not only book-smart, which we see at least once a chapter wherein Laios lists off statistical facts regarding the monster-of-the-week (and the practical application of that knowledge, intellectually far beyond rote memorization), but we also regularly see Laios exercise a keen investigative mind, notably early on in the instance of discovering how the Living Armor moves and functions as an organism, and his sharp intuition moving forward regarding his new pet sword Kensuke. Another instance shows Laios and Chilchuck encountering mermaids, and before the sirens can ensnare the two Laios begins singing awkwardly and off-key, intuiting that someone who sings well would not want to be accompanied by someone who sings poorly – he's right, and in her disgust the mermaid swims away. Although socially awkward, it can sometimes be easy to miss that Laios contributes to the brains of the group, as well as the physical brawn.

We've plundered these depths, and unfortunately, that man is not a himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 15

#is that man a himbo? #false friends! rating: not a himbo #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we have a shoutout to the villain apologist in all of us with Hidan!

Hidan is a mid-tier villain in the shounen animanga Naruto, first appearing in the manga during part II, and later being adapted for the Shippuuden anime in 2007. As a member of the Akatsuki, the main antagonist group for the first half of Shippuuden, he is presented as a major threat due to his status as an S-ranked missing nin, and indeed is the cause of the onscreen minor character death (something which happens fairly infrequently), leading to the culmination of a major character's individual arc.

Like many other members of the Akatsuki group, and indeed many of the overarcing antagonists throughout the series, Hidan touts one variation of immortality. Hidan's is a particularly interesting example in that it provides us with a rare glimpse at worldbuilding outside of the shinobi social structure, due to his heavy involvement with a religious group. And, indeed, where many other antagonists seek out a facsimile of everlasting life (and succeed to varying degrees), Hidan's case can be argued to be the only true, practical application of immortality as a narrative concept, which he attained through his religious practice.

Given that he and most of the cast are what are essentially professional athletes cum military forces, it's no surprise that Hidan is in peak physical condition, but Hidan's design takes it a step further and opts for his standard issue (generally shapeless and unflattering tbvh) Akatsuki cloak to be open from neck to navel, allowing the audience to get a better glimpse at what's going on. And while he is not as visibly stacked as a handful of other characters, Hidan still has a respectable amount of beef about him, being visibly thicker about the chest and arms even without the cloak than other characters in his age range. And given his fighting style, he's no stranger to battle damage even removing the modicum of modesty the cloak offers, often leaving at least one tit on full display. Cover them up, slut.

Now you would think that his status as a highly-ranked criminal in a world where intelligence gathering is paramount would say something about the inner workings of Hidan's keen mind, but it takes only a few words out of his mouth to disabuse you of the notion that there is more than one brain cell bouncing around in that head of his. His idea of a strategy is to run real fast at the problem shouting as loudly as he can – a real act-first kind of man who bristles and argues with even the slightest suggestion of any kind of tactical thinking. He doesn't need any high faluting tactics, he'll just use his Jashin-given gifts to headbutt his way through any problem presented to him. Jashin has really blessed this beautiful idiot.

Unfortunately, although we have got a good start going for us, Hidan variates heavily from the template and it only goes downhill from here. To begin, under no circumstances could one assume that Hidan is, or indeed ever was, a kind person. While the rest of the Akatsuki (with a couple of notable exceptions) have tragic and heartrending backstories to garner sympathy from the audience, we are told in no uncertain terms that Hidan was always a dick. Not merely a serial mass murderer, but genuinely a dick – when he graduated from his own village's ninja academy, the village began to lean heavily into tourism for its notorious hot springs. Rather than simply allow mom-and-pops to crop up and for tourists to enjoy the national landmarks, Hidan loudly said "Fuck that" and promptly joined a cult and wiped the village and all of its inhabitants off the map. Like, I know we've all been there, tourists can be annoying, but big yikes bro.

And if you were thinking that among the criminal organization Akatsuki, Hidan would have earned the respect of his peers for his ideals and his capabilities, well, this author has a surprise for you, as Hidan can only be described affectionately as a group punching bag. Even amongst a group of hardened criminals, they find Hidan's attitude to be grating and obnoxious, and when he is taken down by a protagonist we are given a glimpse of the remaining Akatsuki members mocking Hidan and his partner, an undercurrent of relief in their jokes about not having to deal any longer with the Zombie Combo. Hidan's got all the looks of a Chad, but it's a façade. A fachade, if you will.

Needless to say, it's three strikes and you're out, buddy. Rest in pieces, Hidan, you are not the himbo this fandom needs.

Total Himbo Score: 11

#is that man a himbo? #false friends! rating: not a himbo #naruto #naruto shippuden #hidan #hidan naruto #akatsuki #akatsuki naruto

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we bring to you a console classic from the 16-bit era: Sabin Rene Figaro!

Sabin is a main player character in Final Fantasy VI, first released in 1994 for the SNES (released as Final Fantasy III in North America). It has since been released to many major systems, ranging from the Playstation to the Wii and even to iOs, and most recently remastered in a 2.5D style in February of 2022. Hailed as one of the greatest games the series has to offer, Final Fantasy VI begins the series' lean into sci-fi as well as fantasy, and boasts the largest selection of playable characters of any mainstream Final Fantasy to date.

Sabin is one of a pair of twins, with his brother Edgar having taken over the role of king of their kingdom, Figaro – sick with grief at the death of their father, rather than chafe under the societal expectations of a king Sabin fled the country to pursue the life of a mountain hermit instead of co-ruling with his brother. He plays the role of Monk in the party, equipping light armor and fist weaponry, and his special combat command is called Blitz, which he learned under his master Duncan.

That last part is important, because it is with Blitz that this author must begin their assessment of Sabin as a himbo. If you have been following this blog for a little while, you know this author likes to begin with Buff when applicable, and it is here that this author would like to bring up the thing for which Sabin is most well-known: he fucking Suplexes a train. This is not hyperbole or metaphor, mind you – using the Blitz command, the player can input the proper combination of keystrokes to ensure that during a boss battle with the Phantom Train, Sabin can pick the fucking thing up and slam it onto the ground over his shoulder. Even if Sabin were not toked as fuck (he is), the ability to do so being not just canon but encouraged (as it is Sabin's party specifically which encounters the Phantom Train shortly after learning the Suplex command) renders all discussion of Sabin's Buffness moot. Sick wrestling moves aside, it is also notable that Sabin is required at one point in a timed story quest to hold up a house for several real-life minutes – but is it really a FF6 playthrough if you don't Suplex the Damn Train? This author doesn't believe so.

Blessedly, Final Fantasy VI knows what it's doing with its character archetypes, for as strong as every muscle on Sabin's body is, we find his decision-making to be a little lacking. Indeed, when the options Think and Act are placed on a table before him, every single time Sabin will smash down that Act button before the situation can be explained to him – we see examples of this as early on as immediately after his introduction, when he joins the Returners while vocally admitting he does not understand their mission statement, and less than an hour later when Ultros attacks the party and begins to swim away Sabin dives into literal white water to give pursuit. Sabin is happy to do the literal heavy-lifting so long as he has someone to consign the actual hard work of thinking to (usually his intellectual brother, in whom he places ultimate trust).

And although Sabin is particular in whom he places his trust, once he's in, he's all in baybee. His very first appearance we learn that his immediate peer, and son of his master, Vargas has killed his father, and Sabin takes a moment in the middle of battle to weep for his beloved master before wrecking ass. Indeed, as touched on before, Sabin's huge heart full of love and loyalty is the impetus for his mountain man excursion – so bereaved by his father's death, so disillusioned by the public's apparent lack of compassion, Sabin flees society. His big heart is apparent even in his more antagonistic moments – humorously, he has a bit of a rivalry with party member and feral child Gau, finding the child infuriating, but upon learning that the boy's father abandoned and mistreated him Sabin promptly chewed him a new asshole (and had to be physically restrained from laying him out). And upon joining the Returners, he is a valuable and trusted teammate for more than just his muscles – when returning to the fray after the end of the world, Celes is heartened by Sabin's attitude after they save a child together, finding the strength to carry on through his boisterous proclamation that the end of the world couldn't possibly keep him down.

Truly, that's a himbo we can count on to be by our side.

Total Himbo Score: 21

#is that man a himbo? #whoa mama! rating: himbo #final fantasy #final fantasy vi #final fantasy 6 #sabin rene figaro #sabin final fantasy #sabin ff6 #sabin ffvi

[isthatmanahimbo]

By request of @lost-disco-gay, today we bring you Balthus von Albrecht!

Balthus (Balthazar in the Japanese) is one of six playable DLC characters for Fire Emblem: Three Houses, released in 2020. The DLC allowed players access to new characters and classes, a new storyline and sidequests and a new area to explore, and the ability to feed cats and dogs around Garreg Mach monastery. In the story mode for his group, the Ashen Wolves, Balthus fills the rare role of a front-line healer in the new War Cleric class, allowing the player to combine white magic with the sacred power of punch, heretofore impossible as mages could not equip the gauntlet weapon. A previous member of the nobility in the Leicester Alliance, Balthus makes his home in the underground Abyss to avoid debt collectors.

One look at Balthus, and one struggles to remember that the basic premise of Three Houses is set in what is essentially a finishing school. Appropriate to his epithet "King of Grapplers", Balthus stands at a towering 198cm (approx 6'6), and this man is cut as fuck. Before the timeskip, he wears his academy uniform (despite being the oldest of the "student" population at 27 years old, and having already attended the Officer's Academy) with the coat entirely open - after the timeskip, he finally ditches the school uniform and picks up some different duds appropriate to his mountain-folk heritage, but once again does not bother to cover the vulnerable areas of his torso. Maybe it's traditional, maybe it's for intimidation, maybe he's a little vain, who really cares, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth to count its teeth when he we can instead count Balthus's abs. 8 pack? 8 pack.

And before you start to get the impression that I'm about to tell you that this man has levels of depth to him, that he's a thinker at heart, let me please disabuse you of that notion because Balthus is absolutely head-empty. This author could count on one hand the characters who show less intellectual prowess than Balthus – and what should he need to think for anyhow? As he himself tells us, Balthus has never met a problem he couldn't just punch out, including hordes of monsters, and if for some reason a real strategy is required, then he's got friends who can do that kind of thing way better than he does. The only sticking point in Balthus's life are the groups upon groups (upon groups) of debt collectors after his head. Balthus's solution to this, you might wonder? Borrowing more money of course. He's good for it this time, he promises.

Now it might feel a little bit like Balthus is a selfish or callous individual, given what we've learned about him so far. What sort of man keeps borrowing money and putting his friends at risk over his (admitted) poor decision making? Well, generally, a very good one. Much of the money he initially borrowed, and a large reason he has such trouble paying the debts back, is because he's attempting to create a better life for his mother, an Indigenous woman who married into nobility and was banished back to her clan when another "more suitable" heir was born. And before you think "okay, but taking care of just one family member does not a good person make", you're right! But a consistent thread in Balthus's supports is that he doesn't want to just take care of his own family – he wants to take care of everyone's family, including those who are of much greater means than he is. Balthus understands the value of equal exchange, and the greatest thing he has to offer is protection and care for his loved ones and the loved ones of his loved ones. You know we love a family man, and Leicester's King of Grapplers has got your back, pal.

As if all this wasn't enough, as if Balthus's kindness and martial prowess wasn't enough to gain the respect of his peers for peak Chad, we get to see a rare instance of Slut for these games, as Balthus is one of but a handful of characters in Three Houses who expresses an explicit sexual interest in a character by Stacy's Momming the Duke of the Leicester Alliance (said mother, for the record, is a duchess who married a foreign king, so it really speaks to Balthus's self-confidence that he thinks he has a shot). Imagine going up to your boss's boss at work, calling their mom a milf, and asking for her number. King shit.

King of Grappling, King of Himbos, King of Our Hearts: Balthus von Albrecht, everybody.

Total Himbo Score: 20

#is that man a himbo? #whoa mama! rating: himbo #fire emblem #fire emblem: three houses #fe3h #fe16 #balthus von albrecht #balthazar von adalbrecht #balthus fire emblem #ashen wolves

[isthatmanahimbo]

Continuing on with a previous entry’s rugged-mountainous aesthetic, we have fan-favorite Hashibira Inosuke!

Inosuke is a deuteragonist of the smash hit animanga series Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, first published in Shounen Jump in 2019 and promptly rocketing to the top of sales lists worldwide in the years following. Inosuke was abandoned in the woods as a child and raised by a family of boar, and part of his character design is the boar head that he wears more often than not – this further reinforces the overall theme of family and foundation in Demon Slayer as Inosuke strives for more strength to carve out his place in an ever-expanding world.

Even discounting the boar's head that he wears, Inosuke's design is striking – where other characters choose to wear the standard uniform of the Demon Slayer Corps, with their own distinctive patterned haori, Inosuke chooses to go bare-chested, pelts slung all over the lower half of his body. Although the main cast are all shown to be physically at their peak due to their profession, Inosuke is notable in that he is the only member of the younger half of the cast whose physique is noted on by his peers – it is remarkable, Zenitsu wonders upon first meeting him, that someone so fucking shredded could have such soft facial features. Inosuke's physicality gets him into and out of scrapes, as his fighting style centers around instinct, sensations he can pick up on his bared skin, and good old-fashioned bullheadedness. No fancy breathing styles for this guy when shredding-gnashing-tearing will do the job just fine.

At his introduction, Inosuke starts out quite selfish in his stated desires and in his perception of himself, not putting any sort of sense of justice or hatred of demons as his motivations for joining the Demon Slayer Corps, merely the desire to get stronger. Upon meeting Tanjiro, Nezuko and Zenitsu, and others along their journey, Inosuke promptly face-heel turns into a more magnanimous worldview. Heart-Full can't be stated as his greatest character trait, but he makes long strides in that area very quickly upon being shown even the barest kindness, and it becomes clear that his selfishness has nothing to do with any underlying maliciousness, it is purely his inexperience with an outside world. He may have to outsource his moral compass from time to time, but the important thing is that he knows when to ask.

Another result of this isolation in his upbringing is his less-than-refined mental acuity. Some of it can be written off as naivete or inexperience, for one example believing that a never-before-seen steam train is a forest spirit and lord of the land (and wanting to jump out of the window to see if he can win in a footrace), other instances are less optimistic. What else should one do when one is dropped by a headbutt than run headfirst into tree trunks to try to harden one's skull? The logic is infallible.

Luckily, Inosuke has a gang of closeknit friends that he can outsource that mental heavy-lifting for him – and boy is Inosuke smitten with his chosen people. We get regular instances of Inosuke going googly and heaving dreamy sighs when someone close to him (usually Tanjiro) does something impressive or hands him a compliment. He isn't picky on gender, either – Inosuke makes mental grabby-hands for the slightest hint of affection whenever anyone speaks to him, and it is not difficult to impress him. This boy Chads and is Chadded in return, like any good polycule.

Comin' through, comin' through – we got a grade-A Himbo comin' through!

Total Himbo Score: 19

#is that man a himbo? #whoa mama! rating: himbo #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #hashibira inosuke #inosuke kny #inosuke demon slayer

[isthatmanahimbo]

This week we visit a character so near and so dear to this author's heart: Sagara Sanosuke!

Sanosuke is an early-antagonist-turned-deuteragonist in the shounen animanga series Rurouni Kenshin, first published in Shounen Jump in 1994. Set in the Meiji Era in Japan, Sanosuke serves a vital function in the narrative of the story as he provides an oft-overlooked perspective in the infamous Bakumatsu Rebellion as a man of the people. Anti-Shogunate, betrayed by the Imperialist government, Sanosuke is a staunch political radical who spends many of his largest character developmental moments advocating for democracy and for the voice of people who get spoken over most, giving him the role of perpetual underdog.

Though at first glance Sanosuke might not seem special with regard to his bulk, despite his constantly open jacket – he fulfills a very specific role within the fight sequences as tank and bulldozer. Even from the very beginning in his role as a fighter-for-hire under the alias "Zanza", a reference to his frankly absurd zanbatou sword which only he has been seen using due to being ridiculously unwieldy, Sanosuke is constantly pitted against fighters much larger than he is and emerging victorious through sheer grit and physicality. If there is a wall that Sanosuke cannot punch through, give him a pointer and a deadline, and he'll bust through it Kool-Aid Man style before you can forget him. Oh yeah!

Because of the reputation he's garnered as Zanza, and because of his experiences with the Sekihoutai during the war, Sanosuke rarely takes the opportunity to mind his own business if he notices shenanigans afoot on the street. Over and over, we see him disrupt main-character monologues and full-on conversations to correct An Injustice. Indeed, in his very first appearance, he asks a drunk man to meet him outside for causing a fuss in a restaurant, and handily beats ass. He even gets a cool scene where he stops proprietress Tae from stumbling due to the ruckus, in true action hero fashion. Swoon.

Though it is inarguable that his head is full of Justice, there's little else to be said for his intellectual prowess. He does have one or two instances demonstrating his ability to problem solve and figure out patterns, often in times of crisis, his ability to think on his feet and his ability to think are firmly treated as separate entities. He can figure out how to channel shockwaves in the middle of a fistfight, but if you ask him to follow a road going only one direction, he will get lost for an extended period of time and decide that the best solution is to start a fight so that the police can take him to the station of the city he needs to be in. He can trace an opium ring to its source, but when directed by a fighter much more skilled than he to "idk maybe block sometimes?", Sanosuke instead chooses to plow ever-forward, refusing to be slowed down by such things as not-getting-a-concussion or losing-functionality-in-his-arm-forever. What an idiot.

His respect for his female counterparts is notable for the time, as well, in spite of the scoundrel archetype he's been assigned – he does acknowledge when he is out of his depth, and he will advocate for their expertise and protect them with his body in order for them to finish whatever job needs finishing. He knows his role, and he knows that it is to serve – and as a result, he earns, over and over, the respect and admiration of everyone around him. Yes, even people who outwardly display nothing but disdain for him, will nonetheless step aside and trust Sanosuke to handle what Sanosuke do best.

If this author were moronsexual, my shirt would already be off.

Total Himbo Score: 19

#is that man a himbo? #whoa mama! rating: himbo #rurouni kenshin #sagara sanosuke #sanosuke rk