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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 8 years

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Ey! May I get a lil critique for my octopus son? I’m the same person who sent the proxy oc.

Now, imma just copy all of the info from dA cause i’m lazy.

Also my style constantly changes so don’t be scared if you see differents styles there.

~Basic Info~

Name: Frederico☆ ???

Species: Octo-human

Gender: Male

Age: 19 years old

Fun fact is that the normal life span for expectancy for an octopus is 1-2 years. Just figured I should mention that, since that might mean only half of the normal lifespan of a human?

Height: 1,97 m

But the largest octopus on record is 9.1 meters (30 feet) and the average size is 5 meters (16 feet). To add to it, the tallest human alive is 2.72 meters (8′11). So I suggest a bit of a size change so they’re a bit closer to the height of an octopus.

Weight: 97 kg

Which is about 214 pounds, and a good weight.

Sexual orientation: Pansexual

Affiliation: Bloody Knuckles

I hope that the group didn’t just name themselves that because there knuckles were always bleeding. If so, they might need to get that checked out. Or they need to stop playing the bloody knuckles game.

~In depth info~

Personality: -Cocky -Mouthy -Dang, he’s swearing XD -Tends to be super blushy and sensible once you get to know him -May act tought, but he’s just a big mush

Likes/Dislikes:

Likes:

-Hot chocolate

-Marshmallows

-Winter

-Acrobats (former best friends)

-Likes painting, and his tentacles help him alot XD

From what a source claims, it says that octopuses can taste what they’re touching with the suction cups, and it also says that they have a problem sensing where exactly their tentacles are, so unless he has more tension receptors then your average octopus, he might have a problem painting.

-Parrots

Dislikes:

-Too warm weater

-Any kind of fish (dead or alive)

I believe this is a good time to mention that you should specify whether or not he is an ocean-dwelling octopus or deep-sea dwelling, since that effects diet, and it’s stated an ocean dwelling octopus tends to eat fish and other octopuses. It’s also a great time to mention that you should state what he needs to survive as far as food, or at least what his diet consists of.

-Small spaces (has claustrophobia)

-Pirates (he’s often associated with them)

I honestly can’t help but find it hilariously ironic that he likes parrots, but yet he dislikes Pirates, which tend to also be associated with Parrots. Unless you’re Captain Hook. In which case, it’s a crocodile.

-Being laughed at because of his spots on his skin

History: He was found on a shore while he was still young and was taken by a family who worked on a circus. This family had two twins who were acrobats. Them three formed a close bond. This bond became even closer when the parents of the twins died along with other members of the circus in a crash. He was moved to a different circus, as the new owner didn’t wanted him. He ended up being held in a small cage, thus he caught claustrophobya. At the new circus, he was the main attraction. As the circus was formed mainly by humans, he was the new “circus monster”. In one night, out of pity, one of the clowns freed him from his cage and helped him escape. He ended up on the streets, wandering and trying to keep safe. Today stills lives on the street, but learned how to take care of himself.

I think my only problem here is the question as to how exactly he survived on the streets. Does he stay in abandoned houses? Is he known as a beast in the night, that people don’t want to go searching for? I’m mostly just asking this since it seems like it wouldn’t be the easiest thing to survive on the street.

~* Weapons & Strengths/Weakness *~

Weapon: Large Gloves, having a kinfe attached and steel plates Link: fav.me/d9b8c2s

My only problem with the weapon is the fact that it seems like the knife might come loose very easily, so it might need to be stabilized a bit differently. Also, I would switch out the blade so it’s double sided, that way it can be effective from both directions.

Strengths/Abilities: -Fast and precise damage -Not too heavy (Both for weapon) -Has quite a strong hit due to the training at the circus

Weakness: -Can get destroyed easily (weapon)

How are they easily destroyed? Besides the one thing I mentioned, they seemed like they would be great weapons that wouldn’t be so easily destroyed.

-“Fast” isn’t exactly the best adjective with that many legs that don’t even have feet attached to them

But on the flip side they are useful, seeing as though they can grab far off objects pretty well.

~* Relationship Information *~

♥ Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

♥ Status: Single

♥ Significant Other: None

♥ Current Attraction[s]: None

♥ Family: Mother (unknown) Adopted Siblings (Two acrobats)

Relationships: -Deep friendship with adopted siblings -Friends with Bianca (someone)

Bianca?

Extra Information: -Spots on skin are birthmarks -White spots on eye aren’t higlights, but are in fact part of the eye -Bandanna is a gift from the twins, and it has his name on it -Moves alot more faster in water -Takes insults very serious -He really likes walking in the snow and watching the snowflakes fall on the ground -Can shoot ink only when he’s in water

For the most part, I really liked the character. It was mostly just some small details here and there that threw me off.

And as a small note, I think you should also state what kind of blood he has, seeing as though humans have iron-based blood while octopuses have copper-based blood.

And here is my source list, in case you want to check out where all of my research is from:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus#Senses https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wadlow https://www.google.com/search?q=how+long+is+the+longest+octopus&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprioception https://kidskonnect.com/animals/octopus/ http://www.advancedaquarist.com/2003/7/inverts

-Soundwave

#this took me longer then I should have #letsreviewsomeocs #submission #queue #soundwave reviews

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 8 years

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Cerbal - Creepypasta OC by Gremdark

INFO AND BACKSTORY:

•Basic info• Pasta name: Cerbal. Demon of the Amazon Name: Alois (Old); Cerbal (New) Nickname: N/A D.O.B: May 8, 1799 Age: 22 (Currentely is still 22. Presumed to be over 100 years old or more)

You might want to reword it, so maybe they look around 22, but they are actually probably 100+ Years. Mostly since I would assume it’s hard to be two ages at once without being stuck in a black hole.

Species: Human(past) Demon(Now)Currently living: Near the small city of Junin (Old); Wonders around the whole Amazon Jungle (Now). •family• Mother: deceased. Died a peaceful death. Father: deceased. Died a peaceful death. Brother: None Sister: deceased. Died a peaceful death by her brother’s side. in the year of 1915.

You might want to at least name the immediate family, and I do hope that the sister is explained a bit more, since if Cerbal was the only one who became a demon, then I have to question how the sister didn’t die until 1915.

other family members: Most live in different countries while few live in different cities of Peru.

•physical features• Human Height: 6'1 Weight: 185 Tattoo(s):None Scar(s): None Other noticeable mark(s): None Strength(s): Agile, fast. Precise accuracy with a musket. Skilled in close quarter combat. Skilled in using a sword. Weakness(es): Able to get severely wounded from bullets, to even being impaled by a sword. And any other dangers that can harm any human. Demon Height: 6'7 Weight: 285 Tattoo(s): None Scar(s):None Other noticeable mark(s): Four horns. Two small and two larger ones. Four eyes. The bottom set more demon/ beast looking. The top set are more human looking eyes. Physical strength(s): Twice as strong then his human form. Uses his sharp claws to imaple and inflict damage on his viuctimes. Has a bite around 550 psi. Very agile and fast. Dmage inflicted on him doesn’t harm him as a human (bullet shots, stab wounds, etc) Physical weakness(es): If he is shot or beaten several times or more. He will begin to grow weak. In some random occasions he will rememebr his past life and try to cling on to his humanity, while his demon side will try to make him forget all about it. This causes him to get distracted and causes severe pain in his head. His humanity will at times cause hallucinations of the people he killed, making him guilty for the people he killed.

I definitely adore the design, and the concept is definitely great and fitting with the time period. I also like the idea that he isn’t a giant powerhouse and that he does have a sense of humanity.

•about him/her• Personality: Unknown

Why is the personality unknown though? Is it just because of how old he is, or is it because of the demon?

Back story: Story is told in a third person narrative form.

Alrighty.

Year 1915, Peru. Up in the mountains in the region of Huancayo, there stands a small city known as Junin. It’s January and the Hauncavelica festival is starting. Hundreds of the towns folk celebrate the day with a big festival and pilgrimage, there’s mostly dancing, bull fights, eating, drinking, and much more to offer.

While most of the towns people celebrated and partied down by the center of the town. Some decided to celebrate in the comfort of their home. In one household a family is doing just that, however the home belongs to an elderly women, who’s son came to visit with his wife and three kids. Throughout the day the old women , her son and daughter in law helped prepare a big feast for the night.

Though they spend the day cooking and getting things ready. They finally sat down to eat the big feast they prepared. After all the eating was done the adults and children began to converse with one another. Talking about how the times changed, and how their daily life went. Though the children enjoyed visiting their grandma since she always told the best stories. From folk tales, to urban legends to even scary stories at times. She always had a new story to tell. The youngest asked her to tell a story, something that not many people have heard of. Just then the old lady remembered one story. A story that has been debated on what really happened. Through many accounts on what were the true origins for the story. There is one that seems to be the most common version it’s been told as. “How about the tale of a man who made a deal with a god.” The children’s eyes widen with excitement, and all said that they wanted to hear the story. The old women chuckled and poured herself more tea. “Well then let us began" Before 1821 came, the year we declared independence. War raged on throughout the land. After the Peninsula War, the authority of the Spanish Empire was lost and many regions began establishing autonomous juntas. This in turn started a campaign for Peru. The patriots of Peru began the preparations for an amphibious assault force to liberate Peru. Now of course it was no easy task at all. It took around seven years before the 28 of July came on 1821. Where we finally declared our independence from the Spanish. All throughout Peru battles raged on, men fought and clashed on the battlefield, as blood was shed. But the patriots of Peru weren’t going to give up easy and they all fought to their last breath. But now let’s learn about this one soldier. A soldier who cheated death, but was surprises most people who know of this tale. Is that this soldier made a deal with the god of death himself. Supay. The solider was known as Alois, 25 and a proud solider. He fought in battles and with his fellow brothers out on the battlefield. But what was surprising the most however. Was that he still worshipped ancient Incan deities, that long have been forgotten.

I’m not too surprised that a large amount forgot about the Incan Gods and all, but I can’t help but be slightly surprised that he was the only one to worship them- and it makes me question why is family or maybe how his family continued to worship them. Was it just a family strict when it came to religion or?

He was raised knowing that the Incan gods smiled down upon the soldiers who fought to get rid of the Spanish off their lands. One god however, he worshipped the most. Supay was his name. See Alois even though being a soldier, didn’t enjoy the fact he had to kill another human being. But this idea was blocked since he knew he was fighting for his homeland. And those that went against him and the others will meet their end . In a way he almost honored each kill in the name of Supay. Showing his devotion not only to Supay but the other gods as well. But some battles Alois and his group couldn’t win, at all. The small group Alois was put on the day of January 2 1820. The general gave them an order to seek out any last remaining camps that the Spanish setup in the jungle. Their orders where to only find the camps and simply report back. Though this ended horribly. As the small group of 15 men came near one camp. They were suddenly ambushed by a large group of the Spanish forces. They were outnumbered and knew they couldn’t win this fight. They all retreated but the Spanish weren’t going to allow their position to be found out. So they chased after the alois and his group. One by one their numbers began to decrease. All were scared and running for their lives, in the end they all began to separate and run different directions. Alois saw this and began running his own way trying to oust run the Spanish forces. But he knew they were still on his trail, he was being fired at as well Alois began to drop the heavy equipment he had on him. With only his sword left he tried to outrun them as best as he could. Then with a lucky shot from one of the Spanish soldiers. He shot Alois in the lower abdomen. Alois stumbled and screamed in pain, but got back up knowing they are still after him. Alois put pressure on the wound with his hand and tried to run as fast as he can. Without knowing Alois tripped and fell down a hill, getting hit by a few rocks and rolling down the hill. He impacted the ground hard. He laid there for a few seconds, his body was in pain, the bullet wound wasn’t helping either. Alois looked around and saw a cave. He struggled to get up, but he was soon on his feet. He began to limp towards the cave hoping the Spanish soldiers won’t see him. As he was nearing the cave another shot was fired and impacted him on his right leg. This made him fall to the ground. He screamed once more. He was seen by them, Alois had no other choice but soon began to crawl inside the cave as quickly as possible. The cave was dark and silent, except for the sounds of pain coming from him. As he dragged himself further down the cave. He then came near the end of the cave, it wasn’t that long at all and the entrance was only a few feet away. Alois picked himself up and rested himself on the wall of the cave. He reached a dead end, there was no place to run, he was severely wounded and bleeding out. Any moment the soldiers will come and simply end him. Alois began to accept his fate…before an idea came to him. Alois began to recite a chant, a prayer in a way. He called upon Supay and gave a deal with the god. In order for his life to be spared he would serve under him, and follow any orders from the god. For awhile nothing appeared to happen, the solider accept his oncoming mortality. Then the air became cold, a dense fog began to surround him, but not only inside the cave but outside the forest as well. Then a dark shadowy figure towered above Alois. It was a beast, tall and stared down at Alois. It had dark grey fur, two bulging eyes that gave a death stare, two large horns protruding from its head and sharp jagged teeth. The figure wore long black robes that covered it’s body, with a necklace of human skulls that hung around its neck. This figure was no other then Supay, the god of death. Though what happened is still unknown, but it may have went a little something like this. The god of death was intrigued by the offering Alois introduced to him. Though there was one condition the god asked for. He wanted to use Alois’s fighting abilities to use, but his simple mortal body won’t be of much use. Supay would have to change him, his form in general into a horrific beast. It’s one job was to protect the ancient lands of the other Incan deities. If Alois agreed to this, Supay will revert the changes and he will once again be human and may return home. Supay promised him that it’ll only take a year or two for Alois’s job to be completed. Alois couldn’t pass this offering, from then on Alois agreed to deal. He swore to the oath he made to supay. To be not only his servant, but a guardian to protect the ancient lands of the Incans. Once he swore himself to Supay. His transformation began, his once human form began to change into a horrific beast. What happened was that one of the Spanish soldiers who saw Alois entering the cave. He wrote that the area had a dense fog clouded over the area. Until he came near the entrance and entered inside. In this soldier’s journal that he wrote. He claimed he saw what looked like a dark shadowy figure towering over what looked like a terrifying beast. A human turning into an abomination. The beast stared at the soldier, and without hesitating the soldier ran. HE tried to warn the others, but they thought he was making up stuff. This didn’t stop the soldier from leaving the area. He tried as best as he could to maneuver himself through the jungle out of the dense fog. What happened to others, all he heard was the screams of those foolish men, who didn’t listen to his warning. The last thing he heard before finally making it out of the dense fog. Was an unearthly roar once the screaming seized. Many years have passed and to this day that dense fog that surrounds those ancient ruins are still present. But no one is sure if this tale is true, some question how did this all happen or who wrote this story down. Some speculations say that the god of death himself, told the story to his followers that worship him to this day. He told the story in order for them to be warned to never come near the ancient grounds of the gods. But most of all, he warned about the terrifying beast that lurks inside the dense fog. A beast that will kill any trespassers who dare to van dilate or steal from those lands. But those who know of this story fear the name of the beast that once man. Cerbal” The children with their eyes widen. Sat there in silence, before the youngest asked a question. “So that Alois guy, he’s that beast now?” “Yes. ” said the old lady “So, did he have family? Did people search for him?” said the oldest sister. “They went looking for not only Alois but as well as the other men. They found their bodies but could never find Alois. They presumed he was dead and his body was missing. But some find this tale to be true that he is that beast that still lurks that area. His family mourned of course, but the thing is. The sister of Alois lives nearby two blocks down from me. Although she’s old, she still wanders about her brother. Whether he is in peace in the afterlife or if he’s truly that horrific beast Cerbal. To this day she still never got the answer to her question. But it doesn’t she never will, seeing how she doesn’t seem to have much time left. “ The family began to clap to the old lady’s story. They smiled and continued to clap, until that same unearthly roar from the story, silenced the sounds of their claps. The family sat in silence, but it wasn’t only them who heard it. Everyone that lived near the mountainside, even the ones who were at the festival. Heard that roar, they knew it came from him, Cerbal. How(s)he kills: Uses his claws to inflict severe damage on his victims. Can easily pierce human flesh. His bite is 550 psi. Has powerful strength and can toss a human with such great force.

Good amount of PSI, not stronger then a shark but definitely stronger then your average animal.

Goal or Motivation: He serves under Supay god of death. His mission is to keep the ancient lands of the Incan deities protected and preserved from humans who seek to vandalize or steal their treasure and artifacts from them. If a human does wish to steal or cause damage on the ruins and ancient lands. Cerbal will hunt them, and will not stop until their life comes to an end. If any unwary traveler that happens to come by these lands on accident. Cerbal will simply scare them away. However, after his mission was done in preserving the ancient lands. He now lurks throughout the Amazon jungle. He hunts down those who did wrong in their life. From stealing, to murder to even worse actions committed in any humans life. The humans who live in South America, anyone who is a prisoner who’s on death row or happens to get on the bad side of the warden in any prison They will be left in the Amazon jungle where Cerbal will hunt them down and judge them for their crimes. There are two outcomes for these prisoners: If they committed small crimes such as theft. Cerbal will spare them but leave them with a warning, to change their life into a better path. And warns them to never again come into contact with him. As a little reminder he will leave them with a scar from his claws. Once the wound heals, it will be covered in black and the color can never be removed. It sets as a reminder to the person who was spared. If they committed much larger crimes. Such as murder. They will be gutted down in the most brutal of ways. Cerbal will show no mercy to them as their actions let them to their horrible death.

I think my biggest question here is why he really wants to judge the people? Is it out of boredom? Or is it something else? And what about people who were wrongly accused? And how does he know which crimes they did?

Additional Information: -His bottom eyes on his face represents the more demon/ beast side of himself. While the upper eyes represent the human side of himself, where a bit of his humanity is shown. He constantly fights with his demon side and human side, wondering which one is right or stronger than the other - Since he stays inside the area where a dense flog clouds over the area. He has mindset that his family is still alive and that they are waiting for him. But what he doesn’t know is that years pass by and he doesn’t know that things change while he still inside that are where an endless fog clouds over the area.

All in all, I really like the character! Nicely balanced, great backstory, The only thing is a few really minor things, which isn’t a big deal.

-Soundwave

#ocreview #queue #letsreviewsomeocs #soundwave reviews #and he is also really sorry this took so long #rip #at least it's done #and it was a really good character so there wasn't much to do to begin with #submission

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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Ok. So this is the proxy OC I was talking about. I want the most honest critique about the design. The drawing is crappy because i’m tired.

In all honesty I really like the design. The colors compliment each other well, and the outfit design is fitting for the setting!

I’d say that my only concern is the bag, mostly due to the fact that, at least with duffel bags, they tend to get bangs around a lot. Generally speaking, (unless they were to keep the bag steady by holding onto either the bag itself or the strap) the bag would go behind them, and consequently, let’s say they were running. The bag would get banged around quite a bit, with it hitting the back repeatedly. So I would keep that in mind when it comes to the bombs, since some materials and mixtures can explode very easily due to friction.

Last thing I have to say is to also do a good amount of research on the type of poison bombs used, since some can cause eye problems, in which case it would probably be best to switch out a half mask for a full mask.

Overall it’s a great design though!

-Soundwave

#soundwave reviews #letsreviewsomedesigns #letsreviewsomeocscp #oc #queue #submission

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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Is it cool I submit my OC for you to review and critique

Go ahead, it’s what we’re here for. Just make sure everything is in one submission, and that you state the Fandom (if it is even for a specific fandom) in the information so we can review it properly.

-Soundwave

#shut up soundwave #its-gremdark

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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Eyo! Could I send my proxy OC to be reviewed design-wise? Her story is still under re-making and I wanna know if the design is good enough.

Yeah, go ahead. We're down for reviewing designs, just send it via the 'Submit Stuff' link and you're good to go.-Soundwave

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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WHEN A FRIEND SENDS YOU SKELERTONS -A REALLY EXCITED MOD SOUNDWAVE

#spoooky shit spooky shot right there right therererereeeeee #shut up soundwave #honestly i need to review more ocs #but skeleyons #skeleyons?

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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Please take down your all of your reviews immediately. I am not joking. Your words and actions are cruel and divert from their intended helpfulness to being discouraging and thoughtless, by doing this you are flaming young artists and creators and I am disappointed you do not seem to realize this. This is not a drill. I will warn you this once and if you refuse I will take more serious action. This bullying will not be tolerated. I will wait one day.

…For telling me something I have heard before, and for probably not reading the FAQ. It means a lot. It really does. Also, I have to question you on your drill. What if this is really a drill? And if so, how would I know if it was or wasn’t a drill? Seriously, I don’t get it.But I think this picture describes this situation very well…

-Soundwave

#letsreviewsomeocs #reploid-project-y #shut up soundwave #honestly i don't get this #soundwave's art

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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When your name gets autocorrected to 'Sounder'. -Just Soundwave Things

#soundwave go to fucking bed #its 2 am #you really shoulnt be on bloge at 2AM

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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((Hi, I'm the owner of the Transformers Prime OC Skyblazer.... I had a feeling she would end up on here... And I have come forward to inform you that the bio and picture you have is severely out-dated. I have worked on it (the bio still has a few parts missing that I need to get out of my brain) and have tweaked her appearance... and if you are willing, would you mind taking down the post you have made and replace it with the updated version on my blog....? Thank you... ))

No worries, I’ll take her down, sorry for the misunderstanding. It was a mistake on my part for not doing enough research.

-Soundwave

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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This is some dang good rice. -Soundwave

#shut up soundwave

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letsreviewsomeocs-blog · 9 years

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I do like the color scheme, and it looks very fitting for her name, but the design isn’t perfect by any means. First off, the design reminds me a lot of Knock Out, seeing as the two have the little chin pieces, similar forearm and elbow structures, and nearly identical shin and ankle designs. To add to it, this design lacks a proper amount of kibble, making me think she is unable to transform. I also don’t understand why she has white on her face and neck, but not the rest of her chassis. I also have to question how her chest is so big.

Name: Sunstone

Anyone else think of the Sun Stone from Pokemon?

Jokes aside, pretty good name. A bit bright and happy for a Decepticon, but beggars can't be choosers I guess..

Nickname: Sunny

SG Name: Spinel Prime

Quick tip for Shattered Glass names: Generally speaking, just because they're in Shattered Glass doesn't mean that they'll get a brand-new name. They might have a few different nicknames because they'll probably hang out with different people, but they would still keep the same name. With that being said, I doubt that just because it's Shattered Glass that the character would become a Prime.

Age: Unknown

So we couldn't even get... I don't know, an approximation? You know, something to make me believe that she isn't twelve?

Birthday: 20th February

It's nice to know her birthday lands on 'Love your Pet' day.

Gender: Female

Height: 23 Foot Tall

Whoa, calm down there. Quick little reminder that in the Bayverse, Optimus Prime was 28 feet tall, and he was one of the Tallest characters in the movie. Now, while we don't have exact height for Transformers Prime (Or at least, if we do, I have never came across them) but, considering that you're shorter then Knock Out, you shouldn't be 23 feet tall.

Weight: 625kg

Faction: Autobot/Predacon (Raise by a Dinobot)

Hold up. Autobots are not Predacons. Predacons were extinct during the time of the Cybertronian rule of Cybertron, and weren't seen again until the War when some Predacons were reborn and sent to Earth. So she shouldn't be alive. And if you try to tell me that she left the Decepticon cause, I know we have an issue.

And why does the Creator have a bunch of pictures of her OC and Knock Out if they're in opposing factions? If you're going to do that, at least state that it was after the War. Or just don't do it at all.

Last, she couldn't have been raised by a Dinobot. Dinobots were created by Shockwave in the Prime Universe, and the only reason they escaped is because Starscream came and started talking to Grimlock after Shockwave changed him and started going on about how Grimlock would obey him, which led to Grimlock revolting, Starscream becoming an electric conduit and getting his aft handed to him, and Grimlock saving the rest of his team. And I am a person who is personally against the whole idea of 'Sparklings during the War' since we know that the Allspark was shot off planet early into the War, and that was the source of Cybertronian life.

Function: Medic

Autobots already have a Medic though...

Rank: 7

A bit of a high ranking for a Medic, but I'm down for it.

Alternative Modes: Dragon, Archeopteryx

Okay, I suggest staying with the Archeopteryx over the Dragon, because the Archeopteryx is honestly just really cool. It's like a lizard bird. Lizard birds are freaking amazing. Though I do suggest making your character much taller if you're going down the whole 'Predacon' route.

Father: Sentinel Prime

Mother: Venus

Believe it or not, I would actually be pretty a-okay with this name if it was for a character in a post-Prime setting, seeing as though then the name would have actually made sense. In this though, I have to question where they got the name of 'Venus' from, seeing as they would know nothing of the planet..

Brother: Allonus Prime

Okay you stop right there mister. You may not go any further. You want to know why? Because that is breaking the bloody cannon. 'Prime' isn't a title given to anyone just because they feel like it. If that was the case, then probably most of the Autobots would be Primes. Heck, if that was the case, I, Soundwave, would be a Prime. But, to become a Prime you have to make a case of sorts in front of the High Council and then they would pick you to be a Prime- which, they didn't do after Sentinel Prime until the rise of Optimus Prime, since, if we're going to dwell in the realm of the Exhiles and Exodus Novels, were due to the caste system being in place. Now, it would be different if we were talking about Transformers Animated, seeing as though everyone and their mother is a Prime, but this isn't Animated.

Sister: None

At least they didn't do an extreme number of children.

Foster Brother: Ryo Prime

Why do you have Foster Siblings? And why is this guy also a Prime? And what Cybertronian in their right mind name their kid 'Ryo'?

Foster Sister: None Ex-Sparkmate: Knockout

Now my big question is why you left KO. I'm not complaining by any means, but really, why would you let that piece of greatness go?

Sparkmate: Shadowstorm

Adopted Children: Nova, Sunshine

Admittedly I do like the adopted children's names, though I wish you would explain the reasoning for adopted children. Are you infertile?

Children: Skyfall, Starstruck, Crusher, Twilight, Pulse, Outrage, Sundown, Hope

Okay you obviously aren't infertile. So let's go one by one with these names.. Skyfall: Honestly all I can think about is that James Bond movie Skyfall. And I have no regrets about that because not only is that a great name but I also loved that movie. Starstruck: Once again, I think of that Disney Movie by the same name. While I don't like that name as much as Skyfall, Nova or Sunshine, I guess it fits to a point. Crusher: Bland. A bit overused really. Now if would be better if you put something in front of it. Just not 'Bone'. Twilight: Not the worst, but it's a bit off as a name for a Transformer. I also think that sort of name is a bit more on the 'Cliche' side of things. Pulse: See 'Crusher'. Outrage: I guess it's not bad, but I personally don't care too much for it, seeing as though I think of a poor fellow in a constant state of anger. Sundown: I really like the name and all, but I think one sun kid is enough. Actually, no sun kids are more then enough sun kids, seeing as though your name is 'Sun Stone'. Hope: I definitely wouldn't use this name unless it was for a human. This doesn't really fit in with the Cybertronian name standard.

And get rid of most of these kids. Seriously, there is no need for so many kids.

Friends: She Has Many Friends

Yes well so do I. But who are her friends?

Enemies: Thoughts (Still!!)

I'm going to assume that this is going to be a 'None' then, seeing as though it's incomplete.

Likes: Flying, Running

Yes, we get it, all Fliers like flying. Or at least that's the cliché, but anyway. Also why are you a fan of running? And why do you have nothing of interest in your Bio? Honestly, I think watching Knock Out's paint dry would be more fun.

Dislikes: Fighting

Holy mother of Primus you are just nothing but sheet metal covering a load of cliches.

Breath: Blue Cosmic Rust

What? Is that what her breath smells like? If so, she needs to go see a dentist, because that doesn't sound like a great smell in the slightest. Maybe that's why you broke it off with KO.

Weapons: None (Prefers her Cosmic Rust)

So she uses her bad breath to destroy enemies? My god this femme really does need a Dentist, stat!

...

What do you mean we don't have a dentist?! The world is doomed.

Abilities: Shadow Force, Sunny Day, Morning Sun, SolarBeam

Those are literally Pokemon moves. Trust me, I know, because I'm playing the bloody game while writing this.

I think that just means what I originally though. Besides the fact that this character is cliches wrapped in tin foil, shaped like a Seeker, it's probably actually just a Bellosom.

Congratulations though, because you have won the 'To the Moon You Go!' Award for lack of backstory, having too many kids, and having little to no specifics within this whole bio.

-Soundwave

#soundwavereviews #letsreviewsomeocs #letsreviewsomeocstfp #oc x canon #oc #knockout x oc #seriously though why did you break it off with ko #he is great #i mean have you even seen his paint #transformers animated #Transformers Prime OC #To the Moon You Go!

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