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Carter's reactor

resposted from starcchild-archived cw/tw: dying/death, car accident, coma, surgery, human experimentation

Perhaps a small part of him truly had cared about her. Perhaps it was done out of guilt, or perhaps he had more sinister plans in mind from the beginning, but no matter the reason, it had been done under Obadiah's direction that Carter was kept alive. Under his direction that the precursor to the centipede serum came to life as well.

After emergency services arrived to the accident, Carter was rushed to the hospital, and died along the way. She was revived, but was barely clinging to life by the time she was rushed into the ER - she wasn't stabilizing, and her heart kept stopping. When Obadiah arrived, he was warned he would have to make a decision: to give permission for the medical team to continue fighting for her to stay alive if her heart gave out again, or to call it if her body failed. He ordered them to not give up on her, and made a second call.

With enough money and enough pushing, he had Carter transferred to a private facility under AIM as soon as she was stabilized, where she was treated by a team of AIM scientists, doctors, and nurses. At the time, Extremis was still too unstable - too much of a risk to be used on her, despite success with AIM's very own founder. Instead, the team worked on a new serum with Extremis in hopes of diluting it into a stable mixture, and after a long process of trial and error, it worked. They mixed Extremis with their attempt at recreating the Super Soldier Serum, which settled Extremis's explosive nature, and slowly introduced it into Carter's body through an IV. It was enough to keep her alive, although she remained in a coma, and enough for her body to begin to heal without medical intervention. But... even the small amount worked too well, and began to attack the metal plates in her right arm, and in AIM's panic, they attempted to remove the plates and made things worse. The serum would almost instantly begin to close any incision made, and they were forced to flush it from her system for them to remove it successfully, but not after they nearly mutilated her arm in the process. The repeated incisions to access the plates with the serum still in her system left her arm heavily scarred, and resulted in permanent nerve damage - leaving her to experience occasional numbness or extreme pain in her arm, and leaving it weaker than it had been before.

With the plates removed and the serum reintroduced back into her body, AIM quickly realized they needed something more. Something permanent. They turned to Tony's notes on his arc reactor, and soon came up with a solution. They mimicked the build of it, and after flushing the serum from her system once more, they surgically implanted the reactor into her chest, and it took. The bone and tissue that had been connected to it fully healed in place, although extensive scarring remained around the reactor, and was connected to her heart, so the serum could be continuously pumped throughout her body and filtered before it returned to her heart and reactor. That allowed the serum to be reused without needing replacement or additional injections. It... was also enough to wake her, enough to keep her alive, and enough to kill her if damaged or removed.

Although the serum was diluted, it was enough to increase Carter's stamina and strength, and gave her regenerative abilities. Not enough to heal her scars, but enough to keep her alive - enough to heal any nonfatal wound, but not enough to allow her to regrow a limb if it came to it. Like with Extremis, it would glow beneath her skin when activated, forcing her to be careful to hide anytime she was wounded, to prevent anyone from noticing. It was permanently stable, all while keeping her mortal. And adjusting to it was a challenge all of its own.

Aside from Carter and Obadiah, only Killian and the select team involved knew of the reactor and the serum. Extremis's creator and Carter's mother, Maya Hansen, was left in the dark of the diluted serum, and of the fact her daughter and fallen under Killian's control. Carter saw the team frequently once she was released from their care so they could continue testing - so they could see how her body was handling it, and Carter quickly learned she was no more than an experiment to them. That they no longer saw her as human. And for that thought to mingle with her fear of no longer having a heart, since the reactor effectively was a replacement for her actual organ, she began to see herself more as a machine - a thought that would only grow worse as time went on, and as she took the mantle of Iron Man. She was forbidden from speaking of it to anyone outside of the team and Obadiah, and she followed it strictly - hiding it beneath thick clothing or layers, and refusing to acknowledge it even to them unless asked. Yet, she would later reveal it to Quentin on her own volition, but was left regretting her decision - hating herself for doing so, and paranoid that if anyone else learned of it, they would stop seeing her as a person, too. That, like AIM, they would see her as an experiment, or like Quentin, they would see her as a result - as proof that something incredible could come from the serum. Or, like herself, they would see her as nothing more than a heartless machine.

And while the serum saved her and kept her alive, the placement of it proved to be a heavy strain on her chest. Although it was secured in her body, it felt heavy to her, and for the first two years following its placement, Carter struggled with breathing problems. Due to both the trauma from the car accident and the operation, she developed shortness of breath, and struggled to breathe without it hurting. She never felt she could get enough air into her lungs, and her breathing came out raspy and shallow. The scarred tissue around it grew inflamed and made things worse, but... as time went on, her body adjusted, and her breathing returned to normal. And, to help with that, she began to sing again, but... in private. Away from Obadiah and everyone else, but it allowed her to strengthen her lungs and diaphragm, and was enough to help. However, the damage was still done, and Carter still deals with flare-ups. She's prone to wheezing and coughing fits, usually if she suffered from thoracic trauma, but struggles with her breathing when coming out of a panic attack, or even if she slept wrong. It's enough to grab attention if she's not careful, but she is quick to play it off, and will always refuse treatment if asked.

Another problem she faces is the reactor itself, and not just keeping it hidden. If she pushes herself too far, gets sick, or is freezing, the reactor will aggravate her chest - causing her breathing to become painful, regardless of if she's having a breathing fit or not, and her heartbeat can become irregular and rapid. It can inflame the scar tissue surrounding it, and the reactor itself can become warm to the touch. Not enough to burn her or anything else, but enough to be noticeable, and enough to be uncomfortable. If she sleeps in the wrong position or moves wrong, it will steal the breath from her lungs and leave her gasping and choking for air before her body is able to function again. It pains her when aggravated, and pains her even when healing her. She feels as though she's burning when wounds are being healed, and the pain is almost intolerable. And, if overworked or aggravated enough, Carter suffers from nosebleeds and dizzying spells, which forces her to remain down until it can settle, which can range from a few minutes to a few hours.

Overall... it's something she resents. It changed her life completely, but makes her feel trapped in a situation she never had a say in to begin with. That she never wanted to be in. It's a permanent reminder of Obadiah she can't shake, and a burden she is terrified to share with anyone else.

#ikau headcanons #death tw #coma tw #surgery tw #car accident tw

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reposted from starcchild-archived

here’s a rough idea of Carter’s room at the compound! The furniture placement is accurate, but anything decorative isn’t fully accurate, since I was just using what was available in the sims. She has posters/photos on her wall (which, what’s shown on her wall is mostly filler - I honestly don’t know if she would have pride flags up? but I included them because I like them and I’m projecting because I want pride flags in my room DSFJHGSDF), has a filled bookshelf (and I have a list of her books here!), and has a few notebooks and textbooks out, usually around her desk. She has a dog bed for Kenobi at the foot of her bed, though he often ends up sleeping on hers anyway lol, as well as a water bowl and a toy station, though she’s honestly tempted to get rid of it since his toys still end up all over the place and often under her bed.

Carter keeps her room clean, mainly because she does have to upkeep it frequently due to having a longhaired dog, but also because surface space can get cluttered quickly with her work if she doesn’t keep herself organized. And her nightstand stays relatively bare, save for a water bottle and her phone charger, though sticky notes can be found scattered on it occasionally with reminders of appointments and deadlines.

now, there is a reason for her bed being pushed up against the corner, and for her desk being right by the door. She isn’t one that startles well, so having her desk there allows her to immediately notice when someone’s coming in. And she often tends to get straight to work after uni, so she’ll just dump her bag next to her desk the moment she gets to her room and sits down to start on whatever she needs to get done lol.

as for her bed, she often sleeps on her left side, so the way her bed’s positioned allows her to be facing the door while her back is to the wall. It’s… definitely a habit formed from her trauma, and her sleeping position changes depending on location and if she’s sleeping with someone. But, in this case, she can still hear what’s going on since her right ear isn’t covered, and she’ll notice if anyone’s coming in without being taken too off-guard.

I do wanna add she does have the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck up on her ceiling, and she has taken the time to arrange them to actually represent real-life constellations! She keeps the layout focused on constellations found in the southern hemisphere, and does actually take the time to rearrange them to match the season!

#headcanons

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reposted from starcchild-archived

the layout of her room in the ikau is similar to the layout in her main verse, although it’s bare in comparison.

Carter doesn’t decorate because it’s… not her room. She has no connection to it. It’s a space where she sleeps, though she honestly spends more time down in her workshop and tends to sleep down there more when she gets tired enough, but… that’s really it. She leaves on missions with the mindset she won’t be returning, and has a fear that, one day, the others will get fed up with her and kick her out. To her, there’s no point in making it her own room, because it’s not hers. It’s a temporary place, and she doesn’t see the point in settling in if she won’t be returning. If she’s asked about why she doesn’t do anything with it, she always has an excuse, and usually says she’s too busy, but refuses any help to make it her own - not that she really lets anyone into her room, anyway. She may not have a connection to it, but it is still her space, and she prefers being alone. Frankly, the only thing that shows that her room is even lived in is the fact she rarely makes her bed when she does use it.

#ikau headcanons

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reposted from ironxkid/starcchild-archived

Carter has an excellent British accent due to the amount of time she spent imitating Peggy as a kid. She normally speaks without it, with her accent being mostly southern Californian with some edge of a New York accent, but she can easily switch when she wants to or if asked to. Usually, she’ll start speaking with it without warning, just to throw people off.

#headcanons

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reposted from starcchild-archive

because Carter wasn’t allowed to attend the Stark Expo in New York, she had asked her father to, at least, bring her home a souvenir. He did after everything with Hammer and Vanko went down, though the only thing that hadn’t been obliterated in the explosions were some men’s t-shirts that were far too big for her, like so. Carter still took it, and still uses it as a sleep-shirt.

#headcanons

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Carter watched the old reel of Howard with Tony while her father was searching for something that would help him solve the palladium problem with the reactor, and quickly came to despise her grandfather despite never having met him. It was the way he interacted with Tony on-screen that bothered her - how dismissive and angry he was with him. And… the message Howard left at the end of the reel, about Tony being his greatest creation, only served to rub her the wrong way. To her, it felt hollow. Disingenuous. She couldn’t understand why he would leave such an important message on a film that he had no way of knowing her father would ever see, and something that Tony would have never seen had SHIELD not dropped off Howard’s belongings.

and, although she said nothing of it, there was something about Howard that… reminded her of Obadiah.

#headcanons

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original template can be found here

here's a chart of Carter's scars for her main and alt main verses! The one on her knee was a playground accident, the larger burn scar on her left hand just below the knuckles was from her not paying attention when pulling something out of the oven, and the smaller knicks on her fingers were from various accidents. The rest of the scars on her hands and the scars on her back all result from her trying to escape Sector 16, and getting hit with shrapnel when Obadiah went after Pepper.

For the most part, her scars don't bother her, although the larger (green) scar just above her right hip and the one across her spine mid-back tend to bother her the most when it gets cold. Not enough to debilitate her, but enough for her to be uncomfortable. For the most part, they faded with time, but the more serious ones stuck around.

#headcanons #scars tw

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original template can be found here

here's a chart of Carter's scars in the ikau! The one around her eye was caused by repeated trauma to the area, both in and out of the Iron Man suit (similar to the wound Tony frequently receives in canon), although it's not easily noticeable due to how faint it is. The small scar on her right knee is from a playground accident. The surgical scars on her right arm were caused mainly when AIM panicked in trying to remove the metal plates that had been implanted to help her radius and ulna mend from a nasty break caused by the car accident, although one of them was from the original surgery to place the plates. The surgical scars on her chest were from AIM placing the reactor into her chest, and the "other" scars around it formed when her body was trying to heal around the reactor. The small "other" circular scar on her left hand was from repeated IV port placement, and the "other" scar on her right calf was caused during the fight against Killian. Most of the "other accidents" scars were caused by the car accident (notably the one on the left side of her chest and right thigh), although a few were caused by various battles throughout the years of her acting as Iron Man, though the ones on her hands were mostly caused by accidents while working on things in her workshop. The burns on her right hand and knee were caused by the car accident, although the rest of them were caused by the fight against Killian.

Unlike the scars in her main/alt main verses, most of these frequently bother her, but rarely enough to debilitate her. The scar around her eye, for example, doesn't bother her at all, but the larger scars (thigh, chest, and burns) do tend to itch or ache. For the most part, she's able to ignore it, but the scarring around her reactor and the scars on her right arm are her biggest aggravators. The scarring around her reactor can become inflamed and tender when her reactor is overworked, and the repeated attempts at surgery on her right arm resulted in permanent nerve damage, which causes numbness or sharp pains that she can control with a compression sleeve.

She's definitely insecure about her scars, and does everything she can to hide them - often getting defensive or agitated if asked about any of them, unless it's with someone she truly trusts.

#ikau headcanons #scars tw #surgery tw #car accident tw

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Every father’s day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve (as well as his birthday), Carter lights a candle in memory of her father. She never makes a fuss of it, nor does she do it where it’d be seen by everyone, but… when she’s alone, either in her room or her workshop, just to remember him. As a way to celebrate with him, despite Tony no longer being there, and despite her having given up celebrating at all.

#ikau headcanons

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when needing time alone but not up for being cooped up inside or leaving the compound, Carter will go up onto the roof to try and clear her head. It was a habit that started when she was young, back when Tony would bring her up onto the roof of the Malibu mansion to stargaze, and something she hasn't shaken. At the tower, she'd either sit out on the landing pad or the walkway, and has a hiding spot at the compound she'll retreat to if overwhelmed. She usually goes out at night so she can stargaze, although will go out during the day if weather permits.

#headcanons #ikau headcanons

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[ bold any fears which apply to your muse. ] [ italicize which make them uncomfortable. ]

the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowded spaces ⋆ confined spaces ⋆ open spaces ⋆ change ⋆ failure ⋆ war ⋆ loss of control ⋆ powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆ suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ natural animals ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆ death ⋆ dying ⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ loss ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty ⋆ loud noises ⋆ lack of noise ⋆ being touched ⋆ forgetting ⋆ insects ⋆ disease ⋆ falling

#headcanons

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reposted from starcchild-archive

when Carter was little, band-aids worked perfectly when she was upset. It didn’t matter if she was physically hurt or not, if she even had a nightmare, her father could put a band-aid on her arm and promise her she was okay, and it’d help calm her down. And, in turn, if she ever caught her father upset (though those moments were rare since he tried to hide that from her), she’d put a band-aid on his arm to cheer him up. She once saw him upset after a conversation with Obadiah, and although she didn’t understand what was going on, she grabbed her little box of band-aids and, when her father was sitting, went up to him and stuck one on his nose - that immediately made her have a giggling fit, and overall did help cheer them both up.

as she got older, that trick… stopped working. There was only so much a band-aid could do, and when Carter’s response to her pain was to fold in on herself, it lost its charm. But, when she was eleven and after her father had returned home from being captured, she’d snuck down to his workshop to see him late one night - terrified that, maybe, he… was actually still gone. Terrified that she would lose him again. He was there, of course, but she saw he was in pain because of his reactor. She didn’t fully understand the situation or what the reactor did, but… she knew enough that there wasn’t anything she could do to actually help him with that. Still, she went back upstairs, got her box of band-aids, and… went back down to see him, before putting one on his arm. She knew it was pointless, but… she wanted to help, and that was the easier way for her to show that.

#headcanons

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reposted from starcchild-archive

For a while when she was younger, Carter used to write letters and burn them afterward. It was something suggested by her therapist - a way for her to get out anything she had bottled up inside in a healthy manner, and one that kept things private if she wasn’t comfortable sharing. For the most part, she mainly addressed them to Maya, though there were a few she had addressed to Obadiah. It helped her work through the conflicting feelings she had for her mother, particularly after her death, and helped her express her anger toward the man who had all but ruined her life.

And… although she would never admit it, she had written a couple to her father, too. She wrote about things that had happened to her, that she felt like she couldn’t tell him in person for one reason or another, and wrote about things that he had done that had scared her or hurt her, albeit unintentionally. But... it only helped to an extent, and she stopped addressing them to Tony not long after she started. She quickly found it far harder to work through her troubles through writing when the person she wanted to address them to was alive and well, and... in truth, made her feel more of a coward than anything else.

#headcanons #death tw

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this is Carter's house in the hansen au, and the one she grew up in! She would've lost it had Tony not fought for it to remain in her possession after the events of im3, though Carter wouldn't legally be the owner until she turned eighteen. She did lose quite a bit, however, after SHIELD and the FBI went into the house and collected anything that had any ties to AIM and extremis, but she was able to keep a decent amount of personal items.

She lives alone with her cat, Higgs, who showed up one day out of the blue, though she has since made her cat an indoor cat only. She redecorated her house once she fully settled in, making it more her own, and moved herself upstairs while she made the downstairs bedroom a guestroom on the off chance someone does stay over. Furniture placement is accurate, though I left it fairly bare because I wasn't sure what all to add, ahah. She definitely has various (cat-friendly) plants around the house, her garage is definitely more cluttered with tools and whatnot, and she has various posters and photos around the house as well.

On the first floor is a guestroom that's connected to its own bathroom, and she keeps the door closed to keep Higgs out to try and keep it as cat hair-free as possible. The living room has a small offshoot for a fireplace, and is openly connected to the kitchen and dining room. From there it leads into the mudroom which leads into the backyard, and into the garage.

The second floor is basically all of Carter's personal space. It has her workspace, which is out in the open, and then her bedroom and her own bathroom. Her room leads out onto the balcony, which also doubles as Higgs's only way to enjoy the outdoors when Carter is out there with her.

#headcanons #auv; hansen not stark #((pls ignore how stretched the layout is fsgdkhfgd - the upstairs room and bathroom wouldn't be that long #I'm not great at sizing things accurately sfdgkhjsd))

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((tag drop 3

#pv; when will you realize vienna waits for you #pv; i found a home in you #pv; you'll be in my heart #s; when there's no one to hold you i will still hold you down #pauv; i know you miss the world the one you knew #s; what if we ruin it all and we love like fools #s; love you're not alone 'cause i'm gonna stand by you #s; and i found love where it wasn't supposed to be #s; so i pour my heart out into your hands it's like you really understand #s; so when you're caught in a landslide i'll be there for you

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#ikau things #ikau headcanons #ikau musings #i'm stuck in gravity clawing for some bravery / visage #patience has four paws and a tail / kenobi #v; i found myself in my melodies #v; baby stark #v; it was just like a movie #auv; i don't want your wicked love #auv; iron kid #auv; into the multiverse #auv; disappearing act #auv; prison break #auv; another stark prodigy #auv; not today #auv; just like fire burning up the way #auv; bird set free #auv; hansen not stark

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#local cryptid sighting (ooc) #ooc save #anons #ic asks #ooc asks #ask meme #audio; video #psa #wishlist #wants #headcanons #quiz #mun writes #mun stuff #musings #citrus