living-in-melanin

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Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

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❤️

#morningmotivation #jesusistheway #livinginmelanin #wakeupwithpraise

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Amen!

Words by Rick Warren

#christianity #theword #truth #lifestyle #livinginmelanin

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Happy Holidays tumblr fam

#hot cocoa #livinginmelanin #food #holidays #christmas #goodvibes #goodvibesonly #winter #winter treats

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✨💕

#black girl luxury #that girl #blush pink #livinginmelanin

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A little oasis🥰

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[living-in-melanin]

I'm gonna be honest, I don't like femininity youtubers.

I've never been interested in the first place bc most of the info is very basic level 101 type of stuff and I don't need someone to tell me to brush my hair. I already know this stuff. I was taught it as a kid. but that kind of content is in my orbit so I'll take a peek every once in a while to see what's up and my opinion stays the same with every viewing: most of them never feel "right" to me. there's a teeny tiny (TEENY TINY) few that I think are actually good, but I'm gonna be honest and say that most of them feel like they are just wearing a costume and trying to force it. femininity is not just putting on a dress, curling your wig, and doing your makeup. like...it's just not. it's appearance, yes, but also behaviors, mindset, and the way you approach the world. you can hear it in so many of their voices and mannerisms as they get more 'comfortable' on camera and loosen up a bit. it's like they followed a checklist and are like "see! I'm feminine now!" but they don't give me a single vibe of genuinely being a lady. I think a lot of them are basically just showing you how to look nice and present yourself better. and that's fine! but that's not the same as feminine grace.

even the example photos they use have me like hmm? oh trust me, I see a lot of energy (👀) coming from the women they show and feminine is very rarely what's radiating. they can barely identify a feminine woman! they'll see a woman with her hair and makeup done and a put-together outfit and think that it is a good example but that is not always the case. let me put it this way: if you are not really a "hair girl" and don't know much about what healthy hair looks like, you may see someone with long hair and be like wow it's so nice and healthy. but someone who spends a lot of time with hair will be able to see the dryness, ends that taper into thinning, volume loss around the edges, signs of heat damage starting to form, and other markers that say otherwise. far too many feminine yt girls can't give good examples of feminine women bc they don't actually know what feminine grace and softness is!

the reality is that most of the stuff that is heralded in today's society is simply not compatible with femininity. like....it's not. full stop. I don't know what to tell you. so if you're someone who has been on a 'femininity journey' for a long time now (maybe even multiple years) and you still don't feel like you've made it, it's probably bc you're holding on to too many modern things and it's holding you back. I'm sorry to tell you this but putting on a skirt doesn't balance out the absurd abundance of vulgar shows and music you consume and the completely unfeminine ideologies you champion. many of the women I see are simply dipping their toes into femininity while refusing to let go of the other side and commit themselves to honing their femininity at it's full capacity in all areas.

all of this is to say that many of the so-called "gurus" on yt are, in my opinion, examples of people who try to put on the look (some more successfully than others) but I can immediately see that they won't ever fully commit to being a lady and finally stop the tug of war.

I understand that the return to femininity and traditionalism (that's a whole different post, ugh. don't get me started 😒) has gotten popular again lately, which means right now it's trendy. a few years ago we saw everybody suddenly become grunge and suddenly become bad b**** baddies and now they're suddenly becoming feminine. it's the wave we're on and as someone who has always been a prissy, girly, embrace-your-feminine-side-no-matter-what kind of woman, it's very VERY easy for me to see those who are just following the trend and will very likely ditch it in a few years when something else comes along.

and I personally wouldn't call someone a guru or make them the go-to educators of the movement if they haven't fully committed. just saying.

ask yourself, is this woman really living a feminine lifestyle? inside and out? is it present in her worldview? does she stand tall in it or does she just cherry-pick? what brought her here anyway? why exactly is she suddenly interested in presenting herself this way? what was she like in her past and has she fully denounced those things or does she still feel they are acceptable? food for thought.

funny thing is, I bet there are men that feel this same way about the masculinity and alpha male youtubers. you can't fake this stuff! as women, we can spot a fake little wannabe alpha man. guess what? men can spot you feminine cosplayers too.

[living-in-melanin]

Vegan vibes for brunch✨

#hydration #health #beauty #livinginmelanin

[living-in-melanin]

The Hour of Hair: Natural Beauties on a Budget

Hair for any woman is a sensitive issue because it is one of the first things used in society to formulate people’s opinion about us. As a darker-complected girl growing up with kinky curls came with its struggles, struggles that turned into lessons that taught me how to appreciate what God gave me. From perms and relaxers, to weaves, braids, to finally rocking my own afro in public; like so many other women of color I had to study what products and treatments worked best for my type 4 hair. Throughout this natural hair journey I’ve discovered that as addictive it is to become swept away with the hair-hype from brands and influencers, the best way to care for your kinks and coils isn’t only found at your local beauty supply, but your local grocery-store. Yes, I know that may sound a little strange, but think about it. Why spend $15-$20 on hair products that’s made with avocados when you can just buy an avocado and mix it in a blender with quality hair oil, while saving an extra $10 or $12. Now I’m not suggesting that you abandon shopping at the beauty supply store all-together, I’m simply encouraging you to explore smarter ways to save money and have a healthier hair-regime that’ll have your curls singing for joy.

I personally have a dryer-scalp, 4a/b curls, with high-porosity; before changing your hair routine it’s always wise to find where you fit on the hair-spectrum. For those who fit within the same categories as me, I can say with confidence the following hair regimes are tried and true; those who don't, can still benefit from them because they all promote hydration and growth. For cleansing the scalp without drying out the hair shaft, combining Shea Moisture’s Hydration & Repair conditioner with Bragg Apple Cider vinegar does the job well! Unlike your typical co-wash, implementing the apple cider vinegar will ensure a deep clean because vinegar is a natural cleanser that lifts impurities. When applying this to your scalp please keep in mind that apple cider vinegar is still very acidic even when diluted, be sure to avoid getting this near or into your eye. Shea Moisture is a trusted source because their products have no sulfates, mineral oils, parabens, phthalates and they’re certified by multiple organizations that recognize businesses that are in good standing with their ethics, sustainability and overall transparency. Shea Moisture has other lines of conditioners that are good, but the one I mentioned previously is specifically for hydrating and repairing the hair. Another brand that I stand by and that was the first natural hair brand I started this journey with is, As I am; their products are also free of harmful ingredients and they smell lovely as well. I have personally made this mixer of conditioner and apple cider vinegar a staple in my hair regime for almost a year, and I’ve noticed that my hair is softer, shinier, stronger, and has also gone from high porosity to medium porosity.

Now here comes the fun part, let’s talk about hair masks that’ll guarantee soft and healthy curls, especially after taking down those protective styles! As I mentioned before, you can take a trip to your local grocery-store to customize your own hair mask ingredients. Ingredients that I’ve experimented with and were pleased, are avocados, extra-virgin olive oil, and mayonnaise. These few ingredients can be fused together as a simple hydration and growth mask, or combined with some of my personal favorites. Favorites such as the Shea Moisture Hydration & Repair Protein Power, Intensive Hydration or Raw Shea Butter Moisture Recovery Treatment mask; in addition to 1-2 tablespoons of Olfactory or Sky Organics castor oil 16oz. There are many other natural ingredients that you as the consumer can explore that will produce the desired results, like yams, ginger root, garlic, coconut oil, carrots, etc. The purpose of sharing this with you is to motivate girls and women of color to fall in love on this hair journey with every beautiful kink, coil, and curl they were born with. The products we buy for our hair should be taken as seriously as the foods that we ingest, because both are absorbed into the bloodstream which has a direct impact on our health and well-being.

A woman that I’ve admired and that’s inspired me on this journey thus-far is, influencer and founder of MelaninHairCare Whitney White(@naptural85). Her zeal for trying eccentric diy hair hacks and recipes is absolutely remarkable. In addition to her creative posts and videos, she stepped out and started her own brand for natural-hair, which I have yet to try, but she already has my trust. To the queen reading this I’m curious to know, what influencers or brands do you trust? Drop a comment below!

#natural beauty #beautyonabudget #fashion #blackwomen #women of color #love your skin #liveinmelanin #melaninqueens #hairporosity #chemicalfree #ethical #sustainable #kinksandcoils #curlsforthegirls #curlybeauties #natural curls #curlygirl #curlscurlscurls