mosaic-system

[mosaic-system]

How to support your local DID system:

Give them money

Give them money

Give them money

Give them money

Give them money

Give them money

#please we’re literally poor #did system #actually did #actually polyfrag #actually dissociative #dissociate identity disorder

[mosaic-system]

A big part of integration is realizing that life outside of imagination is safe.

When we were kids we had little to no safety. My mom was so depressed she emotionally neglected me. I was bullied and groomed at school. I was sex trafficked when outside of the house. There really was no safety…except for in the mind.

I have, in the past, identified with what many would call an “IRL”. I didn’t know that was the term so I thankfully never got into that community, but I pretty much was one. I was Sans, I was my OCs, I was Frisk. I still do that. It helped me escape the horrors reality brought.

But as much as it helped me survive it also hurt my life. I couldn’t make any decisions outside of cued ones for a long time because I was so out of it I would drift through life, just walking laps around school and sitting in the hallways. Or not going to school at all since I was so stuck in my head I wouldn’t be able to leave my house.

I would also never take my harm or abuse seriously because I genuinely believed it was a character’s backstory. I’m not being emotionally abused by this person but (character) is. It got to the point I would have imaginary family and friends with imaginary conflicts completely independent from my actual life.

It’s been hard for me to recognize this as a problem as I’ve gotten so comfortable not being fully lucid. However when it became known to me that I had a dissociative issue, I slowly started to realize this amount of dullness in my life wasn’t okay.

I’m now acknowledging my derealization and using it to recognize when I’m dealing with stress or trauma, whether it’s already happened or not. Confronting my problems as a real person has not been easy, but in doing so we’ve begun what we’ve wanted since realizing our dissociation is a disorder: integration.

I can’t tell you how distressing yet heavenly integration is at the same time, and that’s not what this post is about anyways. This post exists because I hope by sharing this somebody will realize that it’s not only possible to be dissociated in this way but also possible to fight it. Because you can. You can heal.

Sorry if this was a bit all over the place. Hope this helped.

#integration #did alter #did osdd #osddid #polyfragmented #actually mentally ill #did system

[mosaic-system]

When you are overwhelmed:

Find a quieter place

I find it helpful to go outside or on a short walk, possibly with some soft music or white noise.

Getting away from loud or overlapping sounds helps immensely

I also prefer dimmer lights or natural lighting when possible.

Hydrate

Water is essential for all bodily functions, including sensory and emotional regulation.

Have your preferred water bottle with you and sip slowly. Add flavouring or ice if desired

Eat something

Again, taking care of your needs is key

If possible, get a small snack and eat slowly. My system usually keeps oyster crackers with us. They’re bland but have a good amount of salt which is important for us, as we have POTS

Most of our overstimulation is caused by being hungry and not realising it

Identify irritating clothing

Is an article of clothing too tight? Are you too cold or too warm? Is something itching?

Once you’ve identified anything that’s uncomfortable, make any adjustments you can that will remedy the issue

These solutions don’t have to be conventional to be effective. Flipping socks inside out can prevent you from feeling the seams. Dabbing cool water on your wrist and/or ankles can help cool you down.

Stimming

Stimming, or self-stimulatory behaviour, can help calm you down.

Safely stimming can include tapping your fingers, chewing gum, rocking back and forth etc.

There are also stim toys and chewable necklaces for this purpose. I have recommendations if anyone needs them

Identify and Devise a Solution

What led you to feeling overwhelmed?

Write down, either physically or digitally, what caused this and start to plan a solution

If it is a problem with completing a task, We use an app called Goblin Tools. It’s free on the website and the app is $0.99, neither of which have ads. It has a to do list that uses AI to break down your task into steps. It also has a feature to identify tone in writing among other things.

Break down your plan into small, manageable pieces. You don’t need to do everything right now.

Final steps

Communicate your needs to others. If you need to adjust your environment or tasks to accommodate your needs, tell others clearly what you need and how they can help

Breathe. You’re going to be okay. You are not a failure for needing to take a break. You are not a failure for being unable to take on everything at once.

You’ve got this

- Levi

#actually did #system stuff #sensory overload #ptsd flooding #ptsd resources

[mosaic-system]

#did memes #dissociative amnesia

[mosaic-system]

Y'all really need to learn about DID more outside the context of alters. DID is not just "disordered plurality" - It is a developmental disorder, an attachment disorder, a posttraumatic stress disorder. It is comorbid with many other issues, such as somatic pain syndromes, physical health issues, and a variety of mental illnesses. It is a complex organization of symptoms related to the disrupted healthy development of a child, both in terms of their body and their mind. It is not just about the alters.

#actuallydid #did #actually multiple #did system #d i d #actuallymultiple #actually traumagenic #actually did #dissociative identity disorder

[mosaic-system]

Experiences I have related to DID that I forget are literally because I have DID

- Feeling like my identity / sense of self is fluid & ever changing

- Being absolute ass at a specific thing and then being good at it later

- Thoughts / inside voices being fuzzy , distant , like a distant conversation

- Having fluctuating feelings toward friends/families/my partner

- Getting suddenly dizzy and finding it hard to move

- Realizing I’m not wearing what I originally put on

- Feeling zero emotions or feeling every possible emotion amplified 100x

- A lot more that I can’t remember right now, also because of DID

Me after realizing everything I do and feel is related to having this dissociative disorder 😦😦😦😦😦

#*pikachu surprise face* #complex did #did system #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #dissociative system #complex dissociative disorder #system stuff

[mosaic-system]

Incest Survivor Resource List

I created this list because I haven’t seen anything else like it. I didn’t want it to be a big dump of links so I added little descriptions to each one so you can better find what you’re looking. I don’t really know what to say other than “you’re not alone” and “it’s going to be okay” and also “hi you have a safe place on my blog if you want to follow it but it’s okay if you don’t.”

You don’t have to be an incest survivor to use these resources, also. Hopefully this list can be helpful to everyone. Please share and boost it if you can!

Websites to check out:

Note: All of these spaces are inclusive of LGBTQ+, POC, disabled, and other marginalized communities.

Survivors of Incest Anonymous: A self-help recovery group modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous. To become a member you must be a survivor who is 18 years or older.

Incest AWARE: Has a wealth of survivor-centered resources, especially focused on survivors from marginalized communities. I really appreciate their inclusivity.

Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. Operates the national sexual assault hotline. You will find LOTS of information and resources on this website.

What’s Okay: A website & helpline for teens and young adults. Have all of your questions about “what’s okay” when it comes to sex, healthy relationships, and sexual trauma answered with no judgement at all.

Stop It Now (UK version): A child protection charity that provides support, information, and resources on preventing child sexual abuse and keeping children safe. This is a great resource to learn about warning signs of abuse & other concerning behavior. This organization also provides support services to people who are concerned that they might harm a child.

For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression: Provides services and support for transgender/nonbinary people who have experienced any sort of violence or crime. Check out their resources for trans/nb survivors of sexual violence in particular. 🏳️‍⚧️

1 in 6: Resources, information, and support specifically for male-identifying survivors of sexual abuse. While the focus is on child sexual abuse, they also provide support to men who experienced SA in adulthood. They have a weekly support chat, facilitated by a counselor.

Sibling Sexual Trauma: This site provides resources for those affected by sibling sexual trauma. There’s a ton of information and recovery resources here for everyone.

Beauty After Bruises: Dedicated to helping survivors of childhood trauma receive funding and access to therapeutic support. You can apply for a grant if you are in need. They also have a blog that teaches self-help and coping techniques! It’s one of my favorites.

After Silence: Speak about your experiences anonymously and support others anonymously. 

Basic information:

What is incest?

Research & statistics on incest

What is COCSA?

What is sibling sexual trauma?

What is emotional incest?

What is secure & insecure attachment?

What is dissociation?

Warning signs of child grooming / adult grooming

Signs of childhood trauma

In recovery:

Recovering From Incest: If you don’t know what to check out first, I recommend starting here. 🖤

How to Heal From Covert Emotional Incest: (TW) The author shares her story of surviving emotional incest. At the end, you will find a list of books & videos that she found helpful for healing from this type of trauma.

Get Self Help: Probably the largest database of self-help resources I’ve ever found! There’s worksheets, pdfs, videos, audio, all kinds of tips and tricks. Go to this page and click on the subject that you need self-help advice for.

Transgender Sexual Violence Survivors: A Self-Help Guide to Healing and Understanding: SO GOOD. There’s TONS of information & resources here. It’s created by trans/nb people for trans/nb people, and it’s completely free. Please pick this one up! 🏳️‍⚧️

Advice Column: This column offers advice on multiple topics related to preventing and recovering from child sexual abuse. You can also submit your own questions, although I don’t know how quick they are to respond. EDIT: They usually respond in a few days!

Coping skills for complex trauma & dissociation: This link leads to a tag on Beauty After Bruises’ blog. Something I like about their blog is that it’s both informative and also casual. It’s written by someone with DID, and you can really feel that they understand what you’re going through. I found their post on nightmares especially useful!

Safety & Prevention: There are several articles here that give tips on how to stay safe as a survivor, such as what consent looks like and how to protect yourself on social media.

Consent: Even if you feel like you already know what healthy consent is, I recommend reading these pages. I love how they broaden the topic to be about more than just sex.

Sexual Safety At Home: Lots of good, important resources here about safe and healthy sex/sexual behaviors. Learn the GREEN FLAGS of sexual behavior!

What might be behind your physical pain: GREAT article from an incest survivor on chronic pain with “no known cause”.

Healing the inner child after incest abuse: Learn what an inner child is, how incest affects it, and how you can heal through reparenting. (TW) This one has some brief personal accounts of the author’s trauma.

Why survivors miss abuse: An article about why survivors might sometimes miss or crave being abused. I felt like it was a bit lacking but it’s still a good introduction to this topic.

Needing support right now:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call the number or online chat. There are also other hotlines & resources listed here.

What’s Okay Helpline: Call, online chat, and email counselors any questions you have about sex and relationships. There is also a large FAQ to check out!

Other Hotlines: This is just a big list of other hotlines that you can call, text, or chat in to receive support.

7cups: I love this website because you can talk to volunteers about basically any sort of non-crisis situation. Get advice or comforting words or just have someone to vent to. It’s free, but you can get access to mental health professionals if you pay.

Just for teens: Resources and support for teens who have or are currently experiencing incest or other sexual trauma.

How to get help & stay safe with an abusive family: These coping and safety tips are geared towards minors who are living with an abusive family. It can be useful for anyone, though!

Supporting a loved one:

TALK: A good starting place for supporters! 🖤

How to support a survivor: Very good advice and helpful links here. Pay attention to the points about marginalized survivors.

A guide for partners & friends of trans sexual violence survivors: MOST INFORMATIVE THING YOU WILL EVER READ! 🏳️‍⚧️

Helpful literature + more:

Books & films aimed at male survivors: These resources are aimed at men, but they can be useful for everyone. Content is divided into different columns so you can easily find what you’re looking for. They are upfront about how they select what they recommend. Each recommendation has a description about why they recommend it. GREAT RESOURCE.

Reading resources on childhood sexual trauma: These resources focus on preventing childhood sexual trauma & also healing from it. Literature is divided into different columns for professionals, supporters, adult survivors, and child survivors. There is also a section for research if you’re interested in that!

Books, children’s Books, & podcasts: These have all been recommended by survivors of incest & other sexual trauma. Only the children’s books & podcasts have descriptions.

SIA’s downloadable literature: These resources are aimed at adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, especially incest. I haven’t read any of these yet but the prices are very cheap!

Recommended books on complex trauma: The books are divided into different columns, and all have short but good descriptions. Check out the column on books regarding trauma’s intersection with race, sexuality, and gender!

Carolyn Spring’s column on child sexual abuse: Carolyn Spring is an author, trainer, and trauma survivor who has DID. Anyone who experiences dissociation will probably find her articles very relatable but also highly informative!

Books about healing PTSD, Complex PTSD, and Dissociative Disorders: Everything is categorized so you can easily find what you’re looking for. They have short descriptions for each book. There is also a section for free resources!

RAINN Bookstore: These are books written by other survivors. This is a great place to go if you want to support fellow survivors or hear their stories.

Online Literary Magazine for survivors of sexual trauma: Read art, poetry, and stories from other survivors in this online magazine. It’s free!

Free trauma resources: These downloads were created by Carolyn Spring specifically for trauma survivors & professionals who work with them. I got the e-book and it’s been very helpful!

Free trauma & dissociation books: There’s some good ones here!

#actuallyptsd #actuallydid #actuallydissociative #trauma recovery #trauma healing #cptsd recovery

[mosaic-system]

If someone you know experienced childhood neglect, they may not know things that you or other people consider “basic knowledge.”

Don’t shame them for not knowing. Making them feel bad because you had someone in your childhood who taught you things, while they didn’t, is not even a little bit helpful.

And yes, this post applies even if that person is you. Give yourself some patience and understanding. It’s not your fault.

#we experience this #there are a lot of silly things we never learned #a lot of our current (early adulthood) has been spent trying to learn how to function independently #mosaic ramblings #child neglect recovery #cptsd recovery

[mosaic-system]

my identity has been dissociative disordered :(

#mosaic ramblings #system things

[mosaic-system]

We feel a lot of this! I love the visualization💜

Types of Amnesia

Diagram created by me

General criteria for amnesia:

Memory loss

Confusion

Inability to recognize familiar figures/places

Difficulty recalling names or places

Not remembering where you went

Worser ability to remember things that had happened

Generalized Amnesia Where a person completely forgets everything about themself and have no recollection of what, where, and who they spoke to. This can describe a blackout switch and may still recognize who they are.

Localized Amnesia Where a person is unable to recall a specific/series of event from the whole, which creates an incomplete picture of the situation. For example, remembering childhood but not the abuse.

Selective Amnesia Where a person only lost some and retain the rest, forgetting parts yet not all of them. This can describe greyouts as it grasps some information/sensory yet not enough to tell what exactly happened. One example is playing the phone and unable to recall what occured, only to jump its memory right to being at bed.

Emotional Amnesia Where a person has an intact memory and it's details on what had happened, but do not remember what the event feels like (e.g. was scared, happy, etc.). One description is that you're watching something that didn't happen to you, because you don't feel like being in the scene itself.

Continuous Amnesia Where a person fails to retain full parts of the event/day, for a set period of time (can vary from minutes to days) and create an accumulative, small bits of selective amnesias, continuously, leaving many gaps in a chronological timeline. This usually happens in times or stress, or abuse.

Fragmented Amnesia Where a person has an unrelated, and/or disjointed memories that does not go with the timeline's order, creating confusion and difficult to grasp the cohesive picture of what truly happened. Emotional amnesia may be present in this type. Bonus for systems:

Amnesia barriers Where a person fronting is not able to recall other alter's memories, which is a form of retrograde amnesia and compartmentalization. Because the fronter will only retain any information before switching out with the next one, the rest experiences anterograde amnesia as it cannot form and remember those memories, unless being coconcious or cofronting (even though, this is not always guaranteed).

Take notes that amnesia can still happen outside system things due to comorbidities like anxiety disorders or depression, this does mean systems are bound to experience more amnesia compared to non-systems folks out there.

Do you have any discussions about this? Or would like to describe your own way of seeing these different types of amnesia? Or have more to add? Feel free to tell them here!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr

[mosaic-system]

i think an issue with the obsession with parts in DID spaces is how much it made us overcomplicate ourselves and not treat our parts the way they deserve

a triggered part would come to front, and all we could focus on was "who are you?" then feel like we're faking DID when we didn't get an answer

instead of offering that part support and compassion like they needed, they'd be shut down for not being able to come out with an identity in their triggered state of mind

like they somehow had to earn the right to exist by first stating a name and intention

they are a part. maybe they have a name. maybe they dont. a lot of our parts are mere fragments. and thats ok. nothing is required for them to be allowed a space to exist. they don't have to be mapped out to have the right to simply be.

for so long, our focus was on "do i really have did? am i faking? do i have alters or is it just cptsd? am i faking this disorder for validation of my trauma? am i the host or this alter? am i anyone at all?"

when really we needed to focus on "what do i need right now? what do we need right now? how can we calm down and find a middle ground together? how can i offer this scared and angry part of me the support they need?"

#I wish more new systems/questioning systems understood this #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #did #actually multiple #did system

[mosaic-system]

Haven’t done one of these in a while <3 feel free to send your own answers with the ask!

system ask game! send the corresponding emoji(s) & the person who reblogged this may answer the question. :-)

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

🫀 - do you have non-human alters? what species are they?

🍄 - when did you realise you had a complex dissociative disorder?

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

🥩 - who was the most recent split?

🦴 - do you have an innerworld? what does it look like?

🦷 - what’s a fun fact about the current fronter(s)?

💀 - is your system more overt or covert?

🍷 - does your music taste differ from alter to alter? how?

🦇 - do you have any friends with CDDs?

📺 - are you “heavy” with any type of alter? (e.g. little-heavy, introject-heavy, etc.)

this is for traumagenic systems! thank you.

#ask game #mosaic system asks #system ask game #system stuff

[mosaic-system]

Plural tip for systems that track fronts; be lenient on tracking who may be active. Like, this is your brain, not the tax office. You don't have to perform a bunch of extremely specific checks just to make sure a headmate is truly active; you can just acknowledge their presence in whatever form that may take. Trust that they'll talk to you if they want something, and just let yourselves be. Even if they don't do anything, it still gives them history. Your headmates will appreciate having a place in your system's history, even if they don't remember exactly what they did or said in every single instance.

And even your front history isn't entirely accurate? They'll likely still appreciate that you think about them.

#mosaic ramblings

[mosaic-system]

Friendly reminder that alters cannot die, even if it can feel like that or seem like that, they do not die

fusion is not "killing" alters. it's a form of healing. im so fucking tired. i know everyone's experiences with it are different but i need people to understand there is nothing wrong with pursuing final fusion as a system. even if it's not what you or your system want, you're allowed to have your reasons for that but please stop spreading this narrative and this rhetoric that alters fusing is this terrible thing, it's literally a sign of healing.

#fusion #final fusion #did #actuallydid #actually multiple #did system #d i d #did osdd

[mosaic-system]

there’s a website where you put in two musicians/artists and it makes a playlist that slowly transitions from one musician’s style of music to the other’s

it’s really fun

#mosaic ramblings

[mosaic-system]

Shout out to alters that do chores/household tasks for the body. You are heros ♡

#we love you Dahlia #we love you Vanessa #system stuff #traumagenic system #did system #system post #sysblr #actually did #actually multiple

[mosaic-system]

google how to ask a good friend to hang out without embarrassment. google how to send text to friend without sounding like an insane weirdo whos never talked to another human being before. google how to text like a normal person. wikihow to talk to anyone

#this is extremely helpful #social anxiety is the worst sometimes #mosaic ramblings