#final fusion

[lightofthemoon19]

fusion is not "killing" alters. it's a form of healing. im so fucking tired. i know everyone's experiences with it are different but i need people to understand there is nothing wrong with pursuing final fusion as a system. even if it's not what you or your system want, you're allowed to have your reasons for that but please stop spreading this narrative and this rhetoric that alters fusing is this terrible thing, it's literally a sign of healing.

#fusion #final fusion #did #slight vent #did osdd #endos dni

[reimeichan]

I was having a conversation with a friend, who started their own DID journey around the same time as me. Our recovery goals are different (they call their goal "the Zygarde method" which, if you've seen mention of the Wishiwashi method on this blog, has a lot of similarities to that), and we're in different places of recovery right now (they've very much reached functional multiplicity at this time and we have not), but it's been really nice to have someone grow with me side by side as we figure out our DID together.

We all know what integration and fusion is, right? Integration is the breaking down of dissociation between parts, fusion is when two parts become one part. But I've realized more and more that the nuances behind what "fusion" is may look different from system to system. For one system, fused parts think and act as one identity with no distinct parts. For another, fused parts are aware of the individual composite pieces of themselves and may even be aware of when a specific piece is the "most prominent" piece at that time. Still another system experiences fusion as being a conglomerate of pieces who, while still distinct, are all sharing thoughts and feelings and memories and opinions with each other and are so in sync they effectively seem to be one identity. And these are just a few examples of what "fusion" may look like.

I think it's beautiful how our experiences can be so different from each other yet there's still a sort of common thread tying all of this together into the same concept that we call "fusion". But I also think that how fusion has been talked about in DID spaces has been so limiting and seems to paint it as only one thing. No wonder some people are hesitant to pursue fusion if they believe it to be akin to losing the multiple parts into one larger part. I encourage people to try to expand their understanding of "fusion" and "identity" and "self", and try to understand what all of that means for you and your system.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #did system #by gray #by cyan #by rose #I used all three of my colors even though I've been fused for a while now #because I want to make a point that they are still me #and I am them #fusion #wishiwashi method #zygarde method #final fusion #functional multiplicity

[subsystems]

Final Fusion Misinformation

You might have seen people saying something like this before: "studies find that final fusion only works 12.8% of the time." When I was pursuing final fusion, people in the community threw this 12.8% at me to try and discourage me from my desired recovery. After all, what's the point of pooling all of my time & energy into pursuing final fusion if it has such a low success rate?

Although I don't know where exactly this "low success rate" idea came from, most people I know explain that The Plural Association introduced it to them. This would make sense, because this nonprofit frequently states that final fusion has a 12.8% success rate on their webpage & resources. Here's some examples:

(Source)

(Source)

(Source)

Now, here's the thing:

This is at best a misquote & at worst purposeful misinformation.

The study that is linked here does not say that final fusion is only successful 12.8% of the time, or that only 12.8% of DID patients achieve final fusion.

In this study, a handful of DID clinicians are interviewed about their patients. It says that 39 patients terminated their therapy. 25.6% of those patients said that they reached a successful resolution in their therapy, they no longer needed it. 12.8% of those no longer needed therapy after full fusion, 12.8% no longer needed therapy but didn't fully fuse.

This is not a success rate. This does not say how many patients achieved final fusion. This is just a reason behind why some people left their therapy. The percentage is the same for people who did and did not achieve final fusion.

Here's the exact quote from the study:

(Source)

I have no idea how anyone can take a look at this and misconstrue the 12.8% to be about how successful final fusion is. It's possible it was just a misunderstanding, but I have trouble trusting that as The Plural Association has cited this study multiple times, including writing a whole article on it, yet continues to misconstrue final fusion as only being successful in 12.8% patients when that's just, blatantly, wrong.

Please reblog & spread this! Final fusion is horrifically stigmatized and fully fused systems are subjected to frequent harassment & misinformation about their recovery choices. It's not okay, and we should hold nonprofits like The Plural Association to better standards.

#actuallydid #actuallydissociative #actuallytraumagenic #actuallyplural #final fusion #integration #DID recovery #misinformation #anti fusion #anti recovery #look out #community issues #the plural association

[system-of-a-feather]

Possibly a hot take but once you get to the point of final fusion / functional multiplicity and you've been in it for a while and that becomes your normal, you REALLY begin to realize that they're really the exact same thing but with different perspectives and preferred language used

And like that means A LOT to some people and thats 1000% valid and the perspective and language can wildly change the experience and how individuals approach it themselves

And just to make it clear for those that tend to read the worst in posts, I'm NOT saying this to be like "oh all functional multiplicity is is really just final fusion and functional multiplicity doesn't exist" or "final fusion is really just functional multiplicity in denial" because that isn't what I'm saying. I am NOT saying one is the only real one and the other is just The Real One But Wrapped Differently.

What I am saying is that the difference of whether I am "at final fusion" or "at functional multiplicity" is a lot less of a wide gap of "two opposite recovery goals" and a lot more of a handwave at which connotation and set of implications on how we relate to ourselves seems more applicable to our identity at the moment.

The difference between them a lot less of a cavern and a lot more like sand in an hourglass and throughout the day I'll identify more with final fusion one hour and functional multiplicity the next and really NOTHING changed in my system. No one split or anything, I just perceived myself in a different angle.

Like at this point, from my perspective in late stage recovery of DID, I personally see it as extremely nonsensical and needless for me to try to say which one I'm at because they are literally just different sides of the same coin. If I'm holding a penny, I often just say I'm holding a penny and saying "I'm holding a penny with the head side up" is only really important when I'm flipping the coin or trying to describe it to someone with visual impairments. As long as there is no real purpose for me to specify, its all the same to me

And of course, I remember NOT being in late stage DID recovery and what not so I absolutely understand the importance and value of both labels and the distinction and I absolutely support them being discussed as separate things because I do think it serves as a good and simplified framework to help people understand the different ways recovery and healing can work for individuals with DID and start thinking about what recovery and healing might mean for them. They're both REALLY good templates and if one is adversive to someone, the other is probably less adversive. Either way, they're both very good starting points on building your idea of recovery.

That's all just to say whenever I see people talking about Final Fusion VS Functional Multiplicity, I just scratch my head as someone who is at both and has been at both for something approaching a year I think now.

Anyways if anyone wants to ask anything on either and/or both final fusion and functional multiplicity or just general late stage DID recovery, feel free to send an ask. I'd love to chat about it, I just am honestly so unbothered by having DID at this point that I am never really prompted or inspired to write about it much anymore.

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #final fusion #functional multiplicity #recovery #did recovery #ptsd recovery #trauma recovery #ptsd #c-ptsd #wishiwashi recovery

[many-but-one]

Could we get some positivity for systems who don’t want fusion? Who are fighting to maintain systemhood for their own well-being? Sometimes the trauma is too much for just one person

Hi anon,

Sure, I can do that. With a small caveat.

First of all, fusion is a normal thing that can happen with trauma healing whether the system wants it or not. You very rarely choose to fuse. It’s the brain’s way of saying “we don’t need two or more guys for this anymore, let’s combine them to one.” It’s a normal and natural part of the healing process. Even if striving for functional multiplicity, there will be fusions along the way and you will rarely “end” with the same number you started with.

Fusion is a deeply personal process and not all systems like it or want to do it. Final fusion especially can be terrifying to consider when you have lived as many your whole life. But I do want to note that fusion does not have to be scary and it doesn’t mean you are losing anyone. In most people’s accounts of fusion that I have seen, the fused part still feels both/all parts within them. They often describe it as a wonderful feeling after the initial shock and confusion of the event, especially if sudden. My experience with fusion was wonderful and it massively benefited the system.

From the perspective you are sharing, that all of this trauma is too much for one person, it makes me believe that you are not in a healed enough state to consider it. Of course the trauma is too much for one person, that’s why you’re multiple! Healing that trauma and lowering amnesia barriers/dissociative barriers and integration of memories between alters is necessary for both final fusion AND functional multiplicity. You cannot be functionally multiple if you still experience major amnesia gaps between parts or are still having your everyday life ruled by trauma and triggers. Healing from your trauma is what pushes fusion to occur, because those memories are no longer too much for one person to handle. Once you process those trauma memories completely, they will not affect you like they did before. You will remember them, but not be distressed by them. You will not be triggered by the things within that memory anymore.

So positivity for systems who don’t want to pursue fusion, that’s perfectly fine! It’s a personal choice. But please do not let the fear of the memories being too much for one person to handle to stop you from making that choice. Because fusion won’t occur between parts if the memories aren’t processed anyway. Fusion is a natural part of healing in systemhood and is a good thing! If that’s not the direction you want to go and you want to strive for functional multiplicity, that’s amazing and you can do that! But functional multiplicity also requires a high level of integration of memories too. Which means all parts involved in the system will eventually know all the memories anyway. Wanting to keep memories separate is natural for a system because that’s how you survived, but to actually heal requires less barriers and more memory sharing so that you can live a functional life.

Hope this helps, anon. Please take care!

-Dorian🌹

#did osdd #did alters #personal post #dissociative identity disorder #did #manybutone #dorian🌹 #did system #anon ask #advice #final fusion #functional multiplicity

[plural-culture-is]

what am i supposed to do if i don't really wanna be a system

my system's boring, for lack of a better word. no inner world and no hopes of ever having one; when someone's in front they're never a distinct person from whoever else is in front and when someone's not in front they basically don't exist and both scenarios are just fucking lonely; because of the aforementioned nobody actually likes each other, at most they just like the basic idea of each other; we barely switch, which means interacting with each other is even more annoying because external communication literally just isn't an option; also because of the aforementioned fusion is just not possible, let alone final fusion; no littles or exomemories or anything like that that don't sound exactly fun but are at least interesting; i could go on, just the most stale nothing-burger system one could imagine.

but i can't even just be similar to a singlet oh no no no, i have to be JUST plural enough so that it impacts my life too much for me to ignore it. not in any of the ways that plurality could ever be enjoyable or improve someone's life, just a bunch of identity confusion and derealisation. being a system never helps me with my mental health, especially since none of us have roles or anything. all our trauma and mental illness and adult responsibilities are just dumped on whoever's in front this month, and if i need a protector or caretaker then too bad so sad i have to make myself feel better on my own.

i'd probably be fine with all of that if it weren't for the fact everyone else has interesting systems where shit actually happens. saying "oh well all systems are different" doesn't really help because my concern isn't that i'm weird it's that i'm missing out. even if i was a singlet i'd still be able to make my own system if i really wanted to, but i already have a system and it already has clear-cut functions that i can't bullshit my way out of. i just got the worst possible outcome. it's absolutely miserable, what am i supposed to get out of this.

i just want something to make it better. a way to get rid of my system or advice on how to go forward or whatever i'm just sick of this stupid fucking system. none of us like it and none of us ever will.

Final fusion generally isn't something a system can achieve on their own, it's something that takes work with a therapist to guide you. If this is something you want, finding a therapist who will help you with that is your best option. Alternatively, there may be therapists who can help you with communication and making your system function the way you want if that's something you're struggling to do on your own, but there are also guides on those kinds of things if you don't have access to a therapist (like these guides on how to build a headspace, this guide on communication, and these switching guides)

#not plural culture #resources #final fusion #actuallyplural #plurality #plural system #integration cw #anonymous

[sparklesquids]

I am BEGGING YOU to stop moralizing fusion.

in BOTH DIRECTIONS

not wanting to fuse is okay! wanting to fuse is okay!

pursuing final fusion? Okay! Pursuing healthy multiplicity? OKAY!

Your recovery is not going to be the same as someone else's

I know a lot of this comes from a backlash to final fusion being viewed as the only acceptable way to heal for so so long, but it's not okay to go the other way around and shame people for fusion.

I also want to say that I as a DID system have experience unplanned/unexpected fusions that were DISTRESSING. and there have been times where I have been discussing this (since I think people should talk about it more! It's okay to be struggling to process fusion!) and seen people say things like "well WE would never want to fuse" "I love my system I don't want them to go away"

you are valid but you need to recognize the way that you're saying these things in a way that is shaming. you're implying that someone aimed for fusion (they don't always! sometimes it just happens naturally!) or that they wanted their system to "go away".

it's rude.

recognize that not every system is the same and we need to be supporting each other regardless of if our goals or paths happen to change, whether we hope for it or not

#plural #did #did system #endo safe #mental health #plural pride #plural system #plurality #dissociative disorder #osddid #fusion #final fusion #healthy multiplicity

[smokee78]

So I uh. final fused. unexpectedly, I thought this last bit was going to take a while

went from polyfrag to just. me, and I feel great about it

usually I'm quite anti endo, but I want to spread the love, healing, and recovery, so I'm open to questions I have from anyone, regardless of stance or lack thereof.

Anon is on. inbox open, message, reblogs, replies

questions of any type will be taken in good faith, no matter poor wording, unless they are purposefully hostile (ex. telling me I killed alters or some bs)

it took about a year and a half of active work to get from above 90 down to just me!

#system #plural #plural things #actually plural #fusion #final fusion #recovery #actually did #actually osdd #living with cptsd #didosdd #syscourse #pluralgang #pro endo #anti endo

[dissociativediscourse]

Time to blog a little bit on the blog. Blog-style.

So… I disappeared. A lot of stuff happened. All good stuff, at least in the long run!

First off, my DID is officially in remission. I achieved ‘final fusion’ fairly recently, and I’m still continuing to learning how to navigate this new phase of life. Healing from trauma won’t fix all issues; not only is there lifelong maintenance and mindfulness to continue living that Grounded Life™️, but I still have a lot of work to do in other areas! All of it is made so much easier by this healing milestone, however.

I may or may not make a post about my experience with this kind of healing. It’s been beautiful. I’m truly in love with the world around me these days — I truly feel infinitely grateful for the opportunity to be able to truly experience and be present for all of the things that come about — even if some things feel like shit. Whether or not I enjoy what’s happening in the moment, I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to actually live that moment and experience it and have the experience I gain from it right there.

I could rant about all that forever, but that’s for another time. I’m always happy to answer questions about this experience/my experience with FF in general, also!

Other than that, I’ve just been making a bunch of major life changes and improvements! I’m teaching my own class at my synagogue’s religious school. I’m finally for real in college and overachieving. (Therapy, here I come). I may begin working in a local psych unit. I am in a genuinely healthy and loving long-term relationship with another person who is also at this phase in recovery, though not with DID. I volunteer however I can to help with local recovery/support groups. I am sober. I am surrounding myself with people with similar goals and similar drive to achieve them. I joined a Chavurah, lol. I am learning Hebrew and doing well with it! I’m baking a ton. Making chocolates, too, lol. I make kombucha now! There’s so much good in my life right now.

Things really do get better. And I’m still getting used to this kind of life and the work that comes with it. But… I’m prepared for it. I’ve survived the hardest part and come out the other end. Now I’m ready to do more than just survive. I’m ready to live!!!

I guess I just wanted to give a tiny little update. I haven’t really been around lately; I haven’t really been online much in general lately. I’m just… Too busy taking it all in. Life is so precious and beautiful to me at this point that I just can’t stop being and growing and experiencing and living and going and seeing and doing and feeling. I’m thankful to be here.

#final fusion #dissociative identity disorder #life update #<3 #healing #osddid #complex dissociative disorder #blog

[korya-elana]

Say it with me guys:

INTEGRATION is the LOWERING OF AMNESIA BARRIERS. This is a process that happens automatically as you heal and is necessary for healing.

FUSION is when 2+ ALTERS FUSE INTO ONE. Final Fusion is the fusion of every (or most) alters into a single identity.

These terms are NOT interchangeable. They CANNOT be used in place of each other. I see so much fearmongering around integration because people actually mean fusion. Please learn what you're saying! Research the terms you use! Misusing terms causes harm!

I'm seeing this more and more in the community and it's driving us up a wall.

Obligatory comment that while final fusion is not our goal, we support those with CDDs attempting to reach that state. Healing looks different for everyone.

#did osdd #did system #alters #plurality #system things #fusion #final fusion #integration #functional multiplicity #terminology #definitions

[adoraboy-moved]

final fusion isn't a dirty thing. final fusion isn't a dirty word. final fusion is a healthy goal to work towards and tagging it makes no sense because it's a form of recovery.

in fact, there are multiple people who've achieved final fusion and it's going great for them. some of those people are on tumblr, right now.

trigger tagging integration and fusion and final fusion is hurtful to those very people. i'd go as far as to say it's ableism actually

#final fusion #fusion #integration #osdd 1b #osdd 1b system #osdd blog #did osdd #osddid #system stuff #dissociative disorder #osdd system #traumagenic #alters #traumagenic osdd #system memes #osdd #she looks just like a dream 🤍 talking

[circulars-reasoning]

There Is No Age Limit On Healing.

I received an ask today where someone said they can't achieve final fusion because they are past the age limit where fusion is possible.

I'm not sure where you heard this idea, or if you came to the conclusion yourself, but I'm happy to be the one to inform you that there is no age limit on fusion. There is an age limit on the integration of identity as a child, yes, but that doesn't mean that process cannot be done later in life (and that age limit is nebulous as it is). It just means that, in the meantime, a system has formed.

Fusion is just integration at a more intense level. It's the understanding between parts, the communication between them improving, acceptance and processing and the lowering of dissociative barriers. That's the goal of therapy -- being able to communicate with the parts of yourself more easily and reach inner understanding.

It can feel difficult to achieve, and for many, fusion isn't the right answer -- I'm one of those individuals myself! My therapist and I both agree that it wouldn't really be the best path for me at this time. But that doesn't make it impossible to achieve, regardless of the type of system you are. DID, OSDD, HC-DID, p-DID -- regardless of the type of system you are, you can still make progress on integration, and fusion is always possible with hard work.

#did #osdd #final fusion #healing #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #diamonds are a boy's best friend #osddid #complex dissociative disorder #cdd

[reimeichan]

how does functional multiplicity feel, especially as a system aiming for final fusion?

I thought "functional multiplicity" was going to be this great big thing once I got there. That I'd finally know I was there, and that maybe with a bit more of a push I'd make it to final fusion. I thought it was going to be this giant shift in my psyche and stuff.

When, in fact.... it's really not. The change to get here was so gradual that I didn't even notice until I was talking to a few of my other friends who have reached functional multiplicity themselves about our experiences and I went. Wait. Is that.... me? Did I get here already and I didn't even realize it?

I was convinced that I'd only reach functional multiplicity once I was done with processing my trauma and challenging all the negative cognition and dismantling the maladaptive coping skills I'd picked up throughout my life and stuff. I'm actually shocked that's not quite the case. Don't get me wrong, I've done so much of all of that, and that's likely why I'm finally where I am now. But also... I know there's still a lot of work to be done and I'm nowhere near where I actually want to be.

But, I'm no longer struggling every day trying to keep track of what happened the day before. Even if I don't necessarily remember stuff, I know I can trust the other alters, and I know that they trust me. It feels like we're on the same page now for what we actually want in life, instead of everyone having their own disparate agendas and having us all fight each other to see who's "right" or who's the "best". I feel like my thoughts and opinions are heard, and the rest of them do too. I can actually feel my feelings and it doesn't feel like the world is going to fall apart or that I'm losing control. The me from six months ago could never!

I think, for me, the biggest change is that I'm.... actually planning to go back to school. My mental health took a drastic nosedive when I was in college and it felt like I never managed to fully get out of that all these years later. I never ended up getting my degree despite wanting one, and it's been a major source of shame and guilt in my system but especially for myself (as the main alter who dealt with school). I knew I wasn't ready to go back despite the people around me encouraging me to do so year after year. And, this year.... I think I'm finally ready to try again.

I could go on about so much that's changed for me but I'd be here for a very long time, so I guess I'll wrap it up with this:

It feels like I've climbed out of the labyrinthine dungeons and made it out into the sun. I still have a long road ahead of me, but it no longer feels so daunting of a task. I'm actually excited to see where the next phase of my journey takes me.

#functional multiplicity #did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #final fusion #anon #anonymous #asks #ask stuff #personal #by gray #thank you for asking anon

[subsystems]

This post is about final fusion & integration. Don't read it if that's triggering to you (duh).

I'm someone with DID who has achieved final fusion. What that means is that my entire system came together to always be present, aware, and connected. We no longer experience the dissociation that made us into separated alters and became interconnected. It's like making a connection of lines between stars; a constellation. No one in my system disappeared or died...although some people like to spread myths like that.

It hurts when people say that my system achieving final fusion is like suicide when it's obviously not. What hurts more, however, is when people say that final fusion doesn't work. "You might split again," they say. "Most people fall apart after they achieve final fusion. It isn't worth it."

Telling someone that their choice in recovery is never worth it because "they might relapse someday" is never okay. Why do people condone it when it comes to fusion? What happened to statements like "recovery isn't linear?" What happened to that?

It's normal to fall apart after final fusion because it takes time to get used to an existence that's not split up and dissociated. Final fusion is a process not a one-and-done kind of deal. You have a mind that is primed for dissociation, which has always relied on dissociation in the past, and for the first time ever you are telling it no! It's okay for all parts of you to be present and aware!

That takes time and practice. No one should be shamed for falling apart after fusion. It's still possible to achieve final fusion again after falling apart and most of us consider this part of the process. This goes for any form of recovery. To quote Rachel Dowing, "I had many experiences of integration followed by disintegration. With the help of my therapist, I learned to view this as a natural process, not a series of failures. I needed practice at being integrated and learning to use new defenses."

If you want it, final fusion is worth it. If you don't want it, it's worth it for the people who do. Support them.

#actuallydid #actuallydissociative #actuallytraumagenic #actuallyintegrated #integration #final fusion #fusion #suicide tw

[system-of-a-feather]

Alternative System Mind Mapping Method for Communication

[DISCLAIMER: This is not a professional or scientifically or anything really backed method, this is something coming solely from peer / personal experience.]

In regards to an anon ask earlier, I was thinking about it and one of the ways we've approached improving communication - particularly internal - in a way that is a lot less prone to flooding or dealing with trauma or anything too overwhelming - is by approaching it following the concept of Memory Webs

I haven't read up on them recently, but "Memory Webs" were a thing that our AP Psychology teacher in highschool made us do because the AP Psych test was term / jargon heavy. Memory in the human brain has been shown to be HEAVILY associative and the ability to remember and connect things tends to rely on following a "web" of connected topics, ideas, concepts etc from one idea to the next.

So in our AP Psych class, she gave us these GIANT books for Vocabulary Webs that we had to slowly work on, each of which required 6 other vocab words / related concepts, a summarized definition, and an image to represent it. By doing this, you added 6 cues to recall the word (increasing the chance you'd remember it), a visual cue, an episodic memory of working on it, and a definition - all in all improving how connected the word is to other concepts in your brain and making it easier to recall it.

I personally like to look at DID and our parts in a similar manner sometimes where the large issue is that a lot of the nodes in the web of associations are either disconnected or connected through a hard-to-find and/or small chain. In that sense, parts struggle to be held together because they are not associated concepts. It's hard to reach other parts because the dissociative walls (which in our unsubstantiated opinion is less a 'wall' and more so a lack of reinforced neural connections, so I would call them dissociative caverns) keep associations from forming

As a result, alternative to more traditional ways of mapping your system and parts, a method I've liked to internally visualize systems and navigating system dynamics is through a memory web manner. (I actually have never done it physically cause the Ray part of my brain - also the most prominent part writing this rn - rarely liked to front if he didn't have to and did a lot of stuff internally)

Here's a bit of a breakdown using six of our parts if any of you want to try it out.

We personally like it because it strips a lot of trauma and stress off of it and makes it a lot more of a positive and present engaging activity. For the purposes of this, I'll be using the free online app of Milanote cause we've used it before for OC associative webs and I think it'll do fine enough. (Honestly it actually might just be a good way to log alter information now that I'm looking at it if you are at a place in recovery where keeping track of that physically helpful)

So we can start by dropping down the parts we want to include in the form of boards

So from here, we have a bunch of disconnected parts. However, we find that a lot of these parts have things that mean a lot to them, that illicit a strong emotion or reaction from them.

Some parts may lack it more than others (often in our case trauma holders and/or trauma locked parts) and that's okay and to be expected. This is a visualization method and if there isn't much connecting a part that is 100% okay.

For demonstration sake, I will now add bubbles around each part of things that were pretty early apparent that each individual liked.

Also for the purposes of how I know our system works and how I plan to do this, I am actually moving Riku to the center and you will all see why Riku is such an S tier center point with this model

So you can see some connections forming.

Some key things you can take from this visual that also applied to earlier stags of how we connected

Lucille and Riku are and have always been pretty darn connected, they go back as one of the longest duos and were split almost as a pair to deal with academics

Chunn and Ray have a very shared interest of "I don't want to do anything leave me alone"

XIV literally was just a piece of shit early on and didn't have any immediate HARD connections with anyone largely because he never was interested in actually engaging in things he liked in a positive way as his "favorite emotion" at the time was "being pissed off"

Lin - an originally trauma stuck / loop - is very very poorly associated with anything that isn't overtly trauma related (and that is saying something cause Vocaloid is trauma related) and thus has very few connections to other parts

So looking at this though, there are a few things that have some similarities between parts. What you can do is make plans to try to foster the interests that you do have and try to generalize it a bit more to also encompass what interests other parts have. So lets engage in hobbies a little more - explore a few concepts that mean a lot to parts independently - and find some more generalized version of those hobbies

(forgot to add easy listening to Ray's and "only wearing monochrome*" to XIV's earlier) (*there are a lot of nuances and caveats)

Damn, look at that. It's messy and ugly to have in a 2D form. I absolutely hate it, this would be so impossible with our whole system. But HEY, it's very connected - and that's the goal.

Compared to the previous one, you can see how easily it can be for one part's interests to start to drift into another. Because they are largely and strongly associated features to each part, they are a lot more accessible when engaging in their shared / associated connections and interests which makes it easier for the them to stay together near the front, stay associated with one another, and work with and communicate with one another.

Of course anyone following this blog goes "Where tf is Birds" and that I left out because it would ruin the point of the web as it actually is one of our traditional "you are around the system a lot? okay pick a bird" which serves to 1) be a fun system culture thing 2) be a means of welcoming a part in and 3) helps establish a foundational connection; we do the same with music but with music its a lot more elaborate and I probably wont explain it for other reasons.

But overtime, by fostering interests that were already present and encouraging parts to broaden and generalize their specific interest a bit, you end up with a lot of overlapping associations that can greatly improve internal communication, co-fronting ability, and just general fluidity and easy of moving around the brain web.

It becomes a good way of trying to figure out what you can do to encourage and help build connections and associations between parts by seeing where things are similar / could have more overlap (combat and martial arts, different types of fashion, different types of music, different appreciation for arts, taking over the world, yada yada yada)

And you wanna know the coolest thing? When you step back from the whole web you can see certain things appear that stand out the most and have some of the most connections.

If you ever intend to go to Final Fusion, those are the things that will likely be the most prominent traits of your whole self

For us? [REDACTED BIRDS for the point of the demonstration], Music, Fashion, Taking over the World, Recovery and Healing, Buddhism, Martial Arts, Arts in general - they're all some of our largest traits that persist in almost all forms as individual parts, partially fused parts, and fully fused parts.

And the BEST part? Doing this didn't require us to touch trauma at all.

Of course in recovery that will come up cause PTSD doesn't ask permission, but its a very low stress way to help improve internal communication and engagement with one another.

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #resources #advice #internal communication #integration #feather's unsubstantiated theraputic tools #unsubstantiated advice #alter: fei #final fusion #functional multiplicity #wishiwashi recovery #system mapping #system map #mind mapping #mindmap #recovery #healing #alter: ray #<- heavily authored by that part of this brain #system dynamics

[granulesofsand]

🗝️🏷️ discussion of dissociation and formation of CDDs

We do like to periodically announce that we still operate on a multiplicity model of DID. That means we believe a lot of structural dissociation, but with some differences.

Where we do understand young children as having states, we don’t define them as being parts. It isn’t six puzzle pieces, but six blueprints of the brain. Each functions differently with what’s already there, and none of them literally occupy a place.

Dissociation keeps these states separate. Sometimes they get further away or have amnesia walls put up between them. They never fell into each other like singlets’ states did. Now these states become alters, and their abilities vary by their system’s features.

These features inform the growth of each alter as an individual. Alters with access to internal experiences can elaborate without external input in directions not possible for alters who go dormant outside of front. Alters without co-consciousness have to gain skill sets independently.

There is no right way to be an alter. Some systems view their alters as parts of a whole. Some want to fuse into one state. Others believe that sharing memories and information is necessary for their healing.

All of those things can be good and right for that system. We tend to pull out the ‘secret third option’. We believe any alter in our system is a full person if they say they are, and that our distinct ways of using the brain are no less than a singlet.

Because we view each other as largely already whole, we don’t integrate between ourselves. We have worked on communication and bringing other insiders up to date, but we don’t utilize one another’s lived experiences.

Our third option is community, which we get to define for ourselves. Many of us struggle with demands and authority, so we don’t make progress with prescribed goals. If the two roads to choose from are melting our grains of sand into one final glass or getting so close as to be a mosaic, we’ll pave our own path.

And it’s working for us so far. We haven’t found any literature that stopped us in our tracks, haven’t hit a wall in our journey. So this is good for us.

Our name is an extended metaphor for our DID. It’s an understanding that we are not less than or part of, but one step in a turning cycle. Rocks grow and break, glass forms and shatters, and neither stays small forever. The smallest granules of sand make up a desert, and even those tiny bits can shape stones.

It’s okay to have a different perspective than we have evidence for. Science is an ever changing thing, understanding shifting with culture and time. Your experience cannot be wrong, even if we don’t see it right now. You are living proof, and that is enough.

#did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #traumagenic system #osddid #did system #polyfragmented system #cdid #hc did #structural dissociation #multiplicity #plurality #functional multiplicity #final fusion #secret third option