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n0irrrr · 2 months
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REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / 14
【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. Somnophilia at the end! masterlist
notes: someday i will rewrite this whole cringe thing and feel better about it, LOL. but i hope there's enjoyement in this chapter.
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「lazy afternoons」
“Yes, Porco, I’m okay.” [name] chuckled softly. “I will stay over a friend’s house, so there’s no need to worry about me.”
Porco snorted loudly, obviously making fun of his lie. [name] pouted at such reaction. “A friend’s house? Exactly who? You have no friends, you loser."
”H—Hey! I do have friends!!” He felt childish, and he could tell Porco was having fun by proving him he was a lonely loser. “I have many!!”
”Really? Haven’t seen you go out a single day without the same fucking guy.”
"They are just... secretive. AND busy!"
"Busy... of course." Porco's tone changed, but [name] couldn't put more attention thanks to his migraine. "If everything goes well here, we'll have a talk, you and me. It's important."
"That sounds serious... is something going on?"
"Just... take care of yourself in that disgusting place, man. Tell Victor—"
"Vincent!"
"Whatever his fucking name is, to stay with you. With what you told me, I..." Porco couldn't continue. [name] heard some grunts on the other line— was he embarrassed?
[name] grinned. "I care about you too, Porco."
"Shut up. I'm hanging up." [name] could tell he was flustered, but silenced his laugh.
"See you soon!"
"Lock your doors and windows."
"Will do."
‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿
After the call ended, [Name] let out a grunt. He hid his head within his covers as he remembered Mike’s words about him getting sick. The man was a witch—or maybe a wizard? Either way, he was right. Or at least, his nose told him the future, somehow.
[Name] hadn’t felt dandy when he got to his apartment the night before. He knew getting out of the car by himself wasn’t possible, and Levi, knowing this, helped him as he did before.
He had a bad stomachache and an urge to throw up again; but thought a good night's rest was enough to wake him up and make him feel better. Unfortunately, the moment his alarm interrupted his sleep, he felt the worst way possible.
He also had a fever. He was 100% sure. The cushion was already disgustingly wet from his sweat, along with his pillow, but his sudden weak body didn’t let him get up. Not even when he felt the need to puke. So poor [Name] had to stay put and try to calm himself if he didn’t want to make a disgusting mess in his room. He didn't know how much time had passed since then.
Even if his whole body felt weak and disgusting, [Name] tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Yet, the moment he got up, he almost fell— if it weren’t for his nightstand, his face would have been kissing the floor, with blood being a plus. It was then that he accepted his defeat and called Margaret to notify her of his absence. She had replied, saying she had been waiting for his call since Mike mentioned his condition yesterday. The poor sick just sighed, thanked her, apologized, and hung up.
He was ready for another bad sleep when the phone on the nightstand rang. His eyes couldn’t identify the caller since his vision was a bit blurry, but answered blindly. The moment the voice in the other line spoke, [Name] miraculously surpassed an embarrassing yelp from coming out.
“[Name], it’s Erwin. Good morning, first of all. I’ve been notified of your absence for today. Is everything alright?”
“O—Oh, uhm, y—yes! Ah—! Sorry, good morning!” It was obvious [Name] wasn’t in the right mind. He couldn’t think clearly, and his head felt like it was burning. His words slurred a bit.  “I just got a bit of a fever— nothing I can’t handle, heheee…” What a fast man Erwin was— did he call him the moment Margaret notified him?
”Is that so? How are you feeling?”
”Everything is good! I’m fffine, really!”
There was a moment of silence on the other line, making [Name] a bit anxious. Was he angry? Upset? Did the think this was a lie?
“I see. Also, don’t worry about today’s schedule. Everything’s covered, alright?”
“O—Ok… and, uhm… sorry about today… I didn’t meaan to get sick…”
[Name] heard a chuckle from the other line. ”Don’t worry about that, [Name]. It’s not your fault— something like that can be rearranged when you feel better, so don’t overthink it.”
After saying goodbye, [Name] let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.
The silence filling his room let his mind wander about the frightening man. He had felt the intense gaze on him everywhere he went. The sick male wanted to believe something else but a feeling of desire filled those blue eyes. The thought only caused him to grip the bedsheets harder, his face feeling warmer and his thoughts messy. He wanted to turn a blind eye to it, but it was too obvious. The man was bold!
But… would it be wrong, though? To accept the date fully? At the moment, it felt like an obligation—a must. [Name] didn’t feel particularly happy about such a thing. Neither when Zeke wanted to use him to do such dirty play to Erwin. Now, it didn’t feel that bad; it was just embarrassing. He laughed light-headedly as he pictured Erwin on a date with him—maybe eating strawberry cake? or just chuckling at whatever they were talking about…
The imaginary moment lulled him slowly, blinking lazily at the ceiling. Maybe a good sleep in another place would make him feel better…
But a knock on his door interrupted him, startling him. The sound only made him grunt— he didn’t want to get up… but he did nevertheless. Of course, as his mind wasn’t in the right state, he took his blanket with drawings of frogs with him. He breathed heavily as he tried not to stumble too much. When he got to the entrance, he opened the door right away while his mind ignored how Porco scolded him about how he had to look into the peephole first before answering the door. Living in this godforsaken apartment was dangerous; serial killers would love to pick a stupid victim here, he said.
He blinked lazily, not really recognizing who he was staring at. Until he abruptly stood straight with a yelp, realizing it was Levi at his door, looking as happy as ever. [Name] couldn’t be more embarrassed by how he looked right now: a blanket with cartoony frogs on it, his oversize T-shirt with his favorite cartoon, and his shorts. His hair was a mess, his face was warm, and his eyes fought to stay closed— it was more to say that his bruises were on display too.
Levi, amused by the display, raised a brow. “It looks like nose man was right.”
Still, [Name] didn't know what else to say. He stood there, dumbfounded.
“Are you making me stay here all day or what? Have some manners.” The ravenette spoke in irritation, but with no malice. After all, it was known by now that his scolding was just for fun. Well... sometimes. This was enough to wake [name] up from his embarrassing episode. He quickly opened the door with incoherent mumbling and stood aside, letting Levi inside.
He felt dizzy; what he said sounded more as if he was barely keeping it together. “I—I didn’t expect you here!” He cringed at his own wording, trying to save himself: “I mean, I don’t mean you can’t come in! It’s just that I— Weeell—”
“I didn’t expect myself here either, but since we all know you don’t know a thing about self-care, here I am." The ravenette spoke sternly, his eyes narrowing into a sharp critical gaze as he observed the apartment.
“Buuuut… There was no neeeed…” The amount of talking made him even dizzier, as he stumbled backwards a little bit. Levi just raised a brow, expecting another lie.
“Stop being stubborn and sit down.” The ravenette placed some plastic bags on the table and emptied it. He took out a canned soup, and [Name] could smell fresh vegetables from the other bag.
He stared dumbfoundedly at the contents, then at Levi, then at the bags, then at the man again. The ravenette stared him back and spoke as if he was talking with an idiot: “You don’t have anything in your fridge.”
[Name] stayed in silence, processing the words from him. Then, he stood straight as he stared in embarrassment, eyebrows furrowing. “How do you know that?!”
“Because that’s you.”
[Name] didn’t know if to take that as an offense, so he avoided the ravenette’s gaze and looked defeated.
Levi didn’t care, it seemed, since he changed the subject. “What have you been doing before I got here?”
“Hmn… nothing…?” [Name] sighed and blinked lazily. “I wanted to take a shower, since I’m all sweaty… but I didn’t have any energy, and I thought I would feeell—”
“Oh, you will,” Levi stated, while crossing his arm as he tried to think, “you will get that shower. You look like a pig.”
“You are meaaaaan…” it wasn’t as if [Name] was in his right mind anyway to think of what he said, “I’m going to fall… I can’t go… and I feel sick,” he tightened the froggy bedsheets around him even more— he just wanted to fall asleep again.
“No.” Levi spoke sternly, harshly taking the cover off of [Name], causing him to gasp. “You will get that shower, so better get up and show me where the bathroom is before I take the sink to shower you.”
The ravenette took [Name] from the back of his shirt, forcing him to stand up. [Name] couldn’t help but comply, secretly glad he didn’t have to walk alone anymore as he guided Levi to the bathroom. It could seem like a careless action or touch by Levi, but he was sure [Name] wouldn’t fall even if he tripped, since the grip on his collar was strong enough.
He just didn’t want to touch sweat.
Levi was a bit grateful the bathroom was in decent shape after seeing such living room. It was small, with some corners and part of the sink and bathtub colored in oxidation thanks to the time. The mirror had some marks on it, along with the flooring having some ruptures. In Levi's mind, he couldn't stop repeating how horrible this place was. Or rather, how disgusting this whole building was.
He ordered [name] to steady himself with the sink while he filled the bathtub with not-too-warm water. Complying with a soft okay—! [name] allowed Levi to work, a little embarrassed when he noticed Levi’s narrowed eyes glaring at how slowly the water came in. If he was bothered or irritated, he didn't voice it, nor did [name].
In whatever silence they were in, Levi broke it off with a blunt order as he returned to his spot beside [name], taking his collar again. "Take your clothes off."
"U—Uh..?! That's sooo straightforward!!" raising his voice, [name] could feel his face getting warmer. "I—I can't do that in front of youu...!"
"Then should I throw you fully clothed in the water? Or should I undress you myself?"
[Name] felt a little bit of dread at the thought of Levi letting go of him. If he did, [name] didn't trust himself to remain standing.
"O-Okay, okay! Just... please turn around," he said his request with as much gentleness as he could have, eyeing Levi with a pleading look. The ravenette frowned as he stared at the sick idiot for a couple of seconds with cryptic eyes before giving in. Sighing in relief, [name] used Levi's shoulders to steady himself as he undressed clumsily. A few times [name] tightened his grasp on Levi's when tripping with his own clothes, only noticing his strength when the ravenette grunted or let out a remark.
"D—Don't turn around yet! Just... step backwards a little bit, pleease..." Carefully, [name] stepped inside the bathtub with a hum as his skin met the tepid water. It was just then, with water just under his chest as he hugged his legs, that he realized how hot he was. He involuntarily sank his whole body into the water, humming at the now-comforting temperature. He quickly retreated to his original stance when he remembered Levi was waiting for him. "...okay, you can turn around..."
"Finally." Levi took a small stool that was behind the sink and placed it beside the bathtub, sitting down. He rolled up his sleeves and took the shampoo, placing some on his hands. "Close your eyes," he commanded before rubbing the shampoo on [name]'s head, massaging the scalp.
It was actually relaxing on [name]'s part. He thought Levi would be rougher, but his hands were gentle. He could hear himself let out a content hum while his shoulders eased and he rested his chin on his knees.
“Bend over a bit.” Levi asked in a gentle tone this time, taking the soap. Just when [Name] obeyed and Levi was ready to lather him up, he noticed a lengthy burn scar on [Name]’s back, more so on the left side. It didn’t look… severe per se— boiled water, perhaps? Levi could tell fire didn’t cause it.
Whoever it was or whatever caused it, Levi continued to bathe [Name] with other thoughts in mind. It seemed the idiot had forgotten, since he didn’t say a thing about his silence.
“Sorry you haave to do aaall of this, Levi…” [Name]’s voice cut his dark thoughts off. “I’m very sorryyy,”
This time, it was Levi who sighed. “I told you yesterday, didn’t I, idiot? If I don’t do it myself, I will be in a bad mood all fucking day. And I have enough with those shitty glasses at work.”
[Name] giggled, “a mooore of bad mood?”
“Don’t get smart with me.” Levi warned him, but he didn’t sound hostile.
[name] talked about everything and anything. He looked content even if Levi gave hums or half answers when being asked something. At some point, [name]'s voice got lower and lower, until he fell silent. The ravenette was unsure if he had fallen asleep, but seeing his shoulders go up and down slowly made him sure.
Just seeing him like this, in this godforsaken place, rotting away... made him feel something he didn't want to say out loud. He just felt irritation.
[name] seemed asleep. Before waking him up, Levi gently caressed the scar on his back and wondered the reason for this act of dominance. Confusion, or perhaps anger, danced in his mind—not exactly for the scar per se.
He retreated his touch and got up, speaking louder to wake [name] up.
"Oi. Wake up. You can't sleep yet." As he took a towel, he signaled him to stand up to dry his body. He noticed how groggily the [hair color]-haired stood up, with eyes closing every two seconds and not even complaining about being seen naked this time. Levi quickly wrapped [name]'s body without much of a glance. His arm went around [name]'s waist to guide him out of the bathroom and to his room, as [name] vaguely told him where it was.
Surprisingly, his room wasn't a mess. Everything seemed in order and clean, to Levi's somehow relief. Levi asked him for clean clothes as he helped [name] sit down on his bed, but [name] was unable to answer because of his sleepy state. The ravenette grunted as he snapped his fingers in front of [name]'s face, making him jump in surprise and barely waking him up.
"Clothes... Ah! Right there, Levi." The ravenette opened the wardrobe and took the first thing he saw, which was another oversized T-shirt with, this time, a picture of a fat cat, and a pair of shorts. He couldn't stop himself from raising his brows in amusement at such choice of designs, almost wanting to make a remark about it. Yet, it wouldn't be as rewarding to see [name]'s groggy state acting stupid like his normal self. He threw the shirt over [name]'s head, the sick completely out of it to even complain about it.
Levi crossed his arms. "Answer—should I dress you or are you capable?"
"Mhm...? Oh, yeah... I caan..." [name] yawned, lazily taking the shirt. Levi had never seen such clumsiness before as he observed how the idiot missed the biggest entrance for his head to one of the arm’s. And then he looked pretty content about being trapped in the smallest hole, as if he had done a splendid job.
“You look stupid.” That was the only statement Levi could spit out before helping him with the t-shirt. His next objective was the shorts, but [Name] seemed to quickly snap out of his dazed and quickly stutter slurred words Levi couldn’t understand, but could decipher by [Name]’s stupid, embarrassed expression. As always, he asked him to turn around.
“You need to eat.” Levi stated as [Name] finished, turning to him once again.
“I want to sleep, Levi.” The sick idiot tried to lay down on the bed, but Levi’s grip on his shirt stopped him.
“Before that, you will eat.”
“But I’m sleepy…” [Name] tried to ‘charm’ Levi by blinking and staring pathetically. The ravenette narrowed his eyes.
It didn’t work. “But I don’t care. Get up.”
All of this felt like Levi was taking care of a child. Or perhaps a cat. A clumsy, useless cat whose life was only to destroy things and be a nuisance.
[Name] complied. Although this time he didn’t try to not be an annoyance, because his body felt heavier and his words didn’t make sense. Levi knew he needed sleep, but he couldn’t let him, still. Or he just didn’t want to. He couldn’t deny that painful, tired face made him feel better.
He instructed [Name] to patiently wait on the couch, since at least he had some mercy on him and didn’t let him wait on the chair while Levi chopped some vegetables for the food.
The sounds of the old TV and the low snores from [Name]’s filled the room, leaving Levi in a barely peaceful moment.
As he put the ingredients into the pot where he had filled it with the soup, he went to sit on the chair while observing [Name], who waited for the food to be ready.
The idiot stayed asleep, with no care or worry about who was with him. Has anyone broken in? Levi wondered.
The lock looked cheap and easy to break, but Levi instantly knew this idiot would open the door before looking, even if he was in his sane mind. A strong lock or a fancier building wouldn’t change that.
If Erwin hadn't taken a liking to him, where would he be? Dead inside a dumpster, maybe. Or perhaps in a job barely making the minimum wage. Or suffering under someone’s orders. Well, it wasn’t as if his situation was any better, in such a filthy place. Erwin had his reasons to hire him, but he didn't share them. What he couldn't hide from Levi was the acts of devotion he had for the assistant; how his blue eyes stared with such... affection? No. Erwin wasn't like that. Something vicoius hide beside that caring-boss facade. 
Speaking of that, who was this guy? Levi felt even more disgusted by the place as he took another look around. This whole building was rotting. Either way, Levi could observe [name]’s attempt to ‘hide’ the mess—pictures. One with him and friends? Perhaps family; a younger [name] with a dog; another picture of him, a guy looking irritated with a black-haired girl... Pretty ordinary pictures.
There were a few small plants, too. A book on the table beside the couch; keys hanging on the wall—were those small paintings? Levi could distinguish between what seemed to be the ocean and a sunset; in another painting, there were frogs in a pod.
[Name] was just like he imagined: a mundane person that he wouldn't usually take an interest in. How could he? This clumsy guy was easy to control, easy to overpower, had naive ideas, was dense... Then why this sudden attention? To someone so insignificant? He could understand Erwin's motives and even that four-eyes son of a bitch, but not his own. Levi found this irritable.
Maybe he liked to imagine how he would tangle his fingers between [name]'s hair, seeing his expression of satisfaction only for him to pull and see that face of being hurt: that pout, teary eyes, that slight frown meaning that he's going to cry... Or just harshly grab that jaw to hear him squeak once he takes his hand away to see the marks he made on that pretty face.
That face…
Levi narrowed his eyes.
That stupid face.
The reminder of the food interrupted his nightmarish thoughts. He went to check and realized it was ready. Without any permission, he took a bowl from the drawers—which didn’t have much—which, particularly, was blue with painted sheep. Levi couldn’t really believe how childish this guy was—hmn? Was that a mug with painted cats…?
Levi served the food. Even when he made lots of noise, the sick idiot didn't even move. The caretaker got in front of him and stared him down—[name] looked exhausted. His expression wasn't a comfortable one*; his body looked tense, and he was sweating.
He looked disgusting.
“Wake up.” Levi grabbed the front of his shirt with no gentleness.
[Name] barely woke up groggily, with his eyes barely opening and closing. From his mouth came words with no meaning, not even pying attention for the man.
Levi made him sit down while he ignored his pleas for him to stop. “Food’s ready. Wake the hell up.”
“Buuuut… I’m asleep…”
“Now you’re not. Get up.” [name] resisted. Levi gritted his teeth, and in his eyes reflected an anger that made [name] shiver. “Get the fuck up, or I’ll punch you until you die.”
“Ok, Okay! I’mm uup—!” Even with slurred words and a weak mind, he knew Levi didn’t make jokes. The thought of Levi acting like a beast made him gulp.
“Huh…” [name] looked at the table, and then at the couch. “Can I eat on the couch…? I don’t want to sit down…”
Levi tightened the grip on his collar. The sounds from the TV weren’t helping his temper much, since an annoying money TV game was on and fueled Levi’s annoyance with him.
The caretaker only pulled him forcibly. “No. You will sit like a civilized, mannered person, not like a pig. You will make a mess if you lay down.”
[name] didn’t dare say anything else. He sat down, like a good boy, and looked at his food. It looked good, actually. The nice aroma reminded him of the hunger in his stomach, as it immediately growled. [name] took the spoon, ready to eat it all.
But, just as expected, [Name] was unable to even feed himself accordingly. His sloppy movements, thanks to his sudden sleepiness, made him unable to hold the spoon properly, messing up the table and dirtying his face. Levi grunted, disgusted once again and more annoyed.
With a harsh move, he took the spoon from [Name]’s shaky hand, surprising him with it. But before Levi could feed him himself, he took a napkin and, with not much gentleness, cleaned [Name]’s face. Whimpers and soft complaints left [Name], but they went to deaf ears. Just as Levi finished, he clicked his tongue at his own exasperation.
“Open your mouth. I will feed you like the child you are.” Levi harshly took [name]'s jaw while he guided the spoon to his mouth. [Name] felt ashamed at first, desperately staring anywhere but Levi's eyes. The ravenette didn't like [name]'s childish behavior, as his grip on his jaw tightened. [name] jumped, opening his mouth with teary eyes. "Why don't you just obey? Always doing what you should not be doing." Levi's never softened his grip, perhaps as a punishment for being disobedient.
This kept going in silence until [name] felt full. A gentle touch on the hand with which Levi gripped his jaw was enough for his caretaker to abruptly stop and glare at him directly. [name]’s body tensed. "I'm—I'm full..." The stare he got was enough to make him shiver. Why were there times when he could speak to Levi normally, but in times like this, Levi unnerved him?
It didn't help when he stared like that. And the way he silently got up, took his bowl, and began doing the dishes didn’t help at all. Was he angry? Did he do something wrong?
Well, whatever. He felt sleepy again. The food had helped him feel comfortable, in some way.
“Dhankss for the food, Levaa…” His eyelids felt heavy.
A grunt was the only answer. [name] slowly began to drift away, dreams taking his mind. His arms rested on the table, letting his face rest on them. The soft silence from the dishwasher lulled him.
This time, Levi didn't say anything else. Instead, he knew he felt a hand caress his hair before shaking his shoulder, but he could be wrong, after all.
“You are asleep already.” Levi’s soft voice sounded far away, even if he was next to him. His strong arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him to the bathroom again.
[name] couldn't open his eyes anymore. His body felt automatic—he just felt Levi’s hands on his mouth, brushing his teeth gently. Did he dream all of this, actually?
He didn’t even remember walking to his bed, but he was already under the covers. Levi’s hand rested on his forehead, and [name] could barely see his usual frown. The sick idiot couldn't help but close his eyes again, but once he opened them again, something cold was resting on his forehead.
Levi said something, but [name] didn't understand.
“That feelss goood…” [name] smiled contently. He chuckled softly. “You are a great nurse, Mr. Levi.”
Levi didn’t like that, since he flicked a finger on [name]’s forehead. [Name] whined, the eyes of betrayal stared at Levi’s face, who glared back. [Name] pouted.
“Not nice…”
“I’m not nice.” Levi changed the cloth to a colder one, by [name]’s relief.
“You are.” He closed his eyes again.
“Not.”
“Just rough sometimes. But you are nice.”
Levi didn’t answer, but it was enough for [name] to look content. A frown formed on Levi’s face while he sat down beside [name]. He took the mug off the nightstand, which [name] didn’t even notice, and waited for the sick idiot to react. “Take a sip.”
“What’s…?”
“Ginger tea. Take. A. Sip.”
[name] chuckled like an idiot while Levi helped him sit down. Levi’s hand on his back and how he helped him take small sips brought him some type of comfort. The feeling of being taken care of was… nice, even if he knew Levi didn’t like the whole idea. Any other type of comfort in his life was Porco; he would be lying if he didn’t feel happy having someone so… caring and trustworthy around him. Knowing he was away made him sad.
“I… don’t waant mooore.”
Levi stopped without much to say, and left the mug in its previous place. He told [name] not to lay down since he could feel like vomiting again. He changed the cloth again before his hand stayed on his forehead to not let the cloth fall down. [name] opened his eyes tiredly to admire Levi. Well, what else could he do?
Levi sure was a handsome man. Or did he confess that to himself because he was not in his right mind? Well, he didn’t admit that out loud…
He felt lightminded; perhaps that’s why he felt bolder to say things.
“You are scary sometimes.” Even though the statement wasn’t a positive thing to say, [name] smiled like an idiot. “Veeeeery scary…”
Levi narrowed his eyes.
“Buut even scary, you look good!”
Levi didn’t react— not openly, at least. “And you look dumb, but that doesn’t give you any favors.”
[Name] chuckled. Levi helped him lay down again.
“I’m sleepy.”
Levi removed the cloth and rested his hand on [name]’s forehead to feel his temperature. [Name] hummed contently as he felt Levi’s cold fingers on his warm skin. Without much thought, he gently moved Levi’s fingers over his closed eyes. He felt more comfort.
“Migraine?” Levi asked.
“Hmn…” [Name] didn’t have more energy to give a detailed answer.
“I left pills on your nightstand.” Levi said, “Take some.”
“No… I’m… tired…” [name]’s eyelids felt heavier, and he couldn’t help closing them.
Levi didn’t like being contradicted, but he kept silent. Perhaps he was tired because of him, or just annoyed. He grunted but didn’t say further. The room fell into silence. Levi stared at [name]’s face, who rested quietly. As he saw nothing else bothering him, he got up and spoke loudly for [name] to hear. [name] opened his eyes tiredly when he got up from the bed.
"It's time for me to go, then." Levi was ready to leave, but he felt something pulling his hand before he began to walk away. He turned his head just to see [name] staring at him with pleading eyes, almost looking like a child scared of the dark.
"Nooo... don't leave me, please," he pleaded. "Stay with me..."
"I can't. Go to sleep."
"But, Levi, I'm scared of being alone... Please, just stay with me this time, pretty pretty please?"
Levi stared, again. With holding hands still, [name] blinked slowly with his long eyelashes, making his plea more "captivating.” Levi wanted to punch his face.
“No.”
“Pretty pleasse…” [name] tightened the grip on his hand.
Levi actually thought about it this time. Perhaps [name] was going to fall asleep, since he looked too tired. “Five minutes.” He answered before sitting down again in the same place, while ignoring how content and happy [name] stupidly looked. Silence filled the room again, but speaking wasn’t necessary for both of them this time.
After such peace, the phone rang. [Name] grunted at the interruption of his sleep, but quickly took the phone before missing the call. The frown that was plastered on his face changed to a soft smile as he answered. Levi narrowed his eyes at such change.
“Hi, Vincent.” [name] replied. “I’m good. Thank you for calling.”
What a good friend.
“It’s fine. Actually, Levi came to—”
Levi snitched the phone out of his hands. Vincent’s voice only fueled his irritation, as his worried questions were heard from the other line.
“What a nice, worried friend you are, Mr. Guard.”
Vincent didn’t answer at first. “Mr. Ackerman, good afternoon.”
Levi could notice Vincent’s change of tone. Well, the feeling was mutual.
“No need for such cute calls for your boyfriend.”
“If I’m worried about him, then I’ll call.”
Levi gritted his teeth. *“*How daring.”
Levi noticed Vincent was going to make a remark, but he shut himself up before spitting it. The ravenette smirked slightly. At least such guard knew who he was talking to. Due to the lack of an answer, Levi kept speaking.
“You asked, he answered. This is all you’ll get.”
Vincent seemed to rile himself up. "He doesn’t—” But Levi hung up before Vincent could finish. He slammed the phone with such force, that made [name] jump at the noise.
Levi stared knives at the phone, not paying attention to [name]’s stare.
“You don’t like Vincent.” [name] looked at him timidly, speaking softly. Levi did look furious at the call— but [name] was sure Vincent wasn’t the type of person to look for problems. What did make Levi so angry?
“Is that a problem for you?”
[name] frowned. It… wasn’t a problem, but he didn’t like seeing his friend— or confidant? being treated so harshly. He knew Levi could see that, but he knew how Levi acted. The people in the asylum could be really… spiteful. Either way, the reflective thoughts only soothed him—he was more than tired. Levi waited, but the question was left unanswered. Instead, it was met with soft snores coming from the idiot.
He had fallen asleep at last.
Levi glared at him—how could he be sleeping so comfortably with him in the room? Leci here, acting like a good guy only fueled his anger. There had to be a reward for this absurdity. He didn’t comprehend his own feelings—their meaning. After all, he hadn’t needed them in a long time, if ever. [name] made him repulsed by such foolish emotions.
How bitter you are.
[Name] didn’t mean to last in that place, but Erwin and four eyes sought any ways to protect him from all evil. Even so, they themselves were worse than the subjects. Levi laughed bitterly internally every time one of them couldn’t hide their desire to possess such a good-for-nothing assistant. He couldn’t understand wholly, but now he saw why. But ‘liking’ him? It wasn’t that. It was something else, but Levi still couldn’t comprehend. He should, soon enough.
Levi glanced at [name], waiting for the moment to move.
And, just when he noticed [Name] fell into a deep slumber, the devil returned.
Levi couldn't stop himself. There was just this urge.
Shifting his body slowly to not interrupt his companion's sleep, facing him. He stared at [name]'s body; how his chest moved according to his breathing, how his lips slightly opened as gentle, barely audible snores came out of his mouth—his long eyelashes, his relaxed, cute expression... only for him to see.
Levi's hand slowly moves under [name]'s shirt, gently caressing his warm stomach. He moved his touch on [name]'s waist this time, grabbing and squeezing part of the flesh not too harshly. The ravenette waited for a response, but just as he was met with silence, he continued his secret exploration in quietness. This time, he rested his head on the crock of [name]'s neck, smelling his scent. His hand explored the flesh a bit more daringly, slowly crawling his way to reach [name]'s chest, the tips of his fingers exploring the flesh cautiously.
This time [name] whimpered softly, his body shivering for one second. The ravenette waited for any other reaction or complaint, but [name] remained in his slumber with a troubled expression adorning his face.
Levi smirked.
What a reward.
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n0irrrr · 4 months
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Are you still working on your Attack On Titan stories? Or are they discontinued? Sorry if I’m bothering you I noticed that you’ve been posting a bit. I hope you have a nice day and take care of yourself!
hi, anon! im trying to work on reiss asylum for the moment... very slowly, but making some progress.
and don't worry! these asks are not a bother <3 thank you for reaching out and i wish i could be a more competent writer LOL. but writing hasn't come to me as it used to.
thank you and i hope you are doing well aswell!!
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n0irrrr · 4 months
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Hey how are you? Sorry for the question, but are you still going to continue the story empty? I love this story so much and I wanted to know if there was a sequel, and I love your writing♡♡
hi dear!! i'm better, thank you! i hope you are doing well as well.
as you noticed... empty has gone into an indefinite hiatus :( i'm not really happy with how it is right now, but instead of deleting the whole thing, what i'm trying to do is just rework earlier chapters and continue. unfortunately, im trying to focus on my other story first, so empty will be abandoned some time. sorry!
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n0irrrr · 4 months
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Child of the sun, come back
[ascended!astarion x gn!spawn!reader]
You had colorful memories, once: vivid flower fields, triumph smiles, faces that gave you comfort. But now, images of curtains with the sun behind blurred your mind, leaving darkness where color had been, once.
1122words / one shot / angst
note: after years of not writing anything, baldurs gate has inspired me to write just a little bit. ascended astarion has some good angst around him and i love it
There were days spent in the hollow main room, where the curtains protected your being from becoming dust. A lonely chair in front of the window, where just a peek welcomed a ray of the sun to meet the cold room. You just admired it quietly, desiring it to meet your flesh once more; to take you back to who you once were.
Astarion had said something once. He had stayed, observing silently, as if you were going to open the curtains and kiss the sun, leaving to another limbo. You knew it wasn't because he was scared, but everytime you came here, he appeared. Standing near the door where the darkness was, as if he were hiding from the rays of sunlight. He had yearned for them, once. Perhaps its familiarity had bored him.
But then, that company left, and the sun stayed.
“I don't know what's inside that head of yours, darling.”
He could know, but he chose not to.
Quietly watching as you hug your legs, your gaze peeking behind your knees. A ray almost looking magical, sacred. A plea to be touched.
Come back to me, child of the sun.
Child of the sun… you were, once. Someone had called you that, once. Who? You wondered—always did.
Sometimes you caught yourself forgetting memories; where once there were faces with prideful smiles, now rest the images of curtains, and that face, almost proudly, looking back at you with a high face.
Then, you hear it: a melody. Maybe inside your head, but it has been a long time since satisfying music passed through your ears. Closing your eyes, your head moves slightly with the rhythm. This palace had always been silent.
You stood up. Your legs moved by themselves—a curious thing, feeling as if something controlled you. Your hands dance delicately. This time, is enjoyable.
Someone taught you how to dance, once. A warm hand guided your clumsy steps to a magnificent piece. Warm compliments to keep you going. You had fun—you remembered that.
You danced, once. With who?
“You are dancing.”
You stopped, paying full attention to him. The room seemed darker.
“I was.”
Astarion just stared. Observing was one of his favorite pastimes all this eternity. Arms behind him, trying to interpret your curious actions. But then, he holds his hand for you to take.
“Dance with me.” This time it doesn't feel like a command—a request, perhaps. Either way, it required your obedience.
You accepted it, and in an instant, he had a grip on you—his left arm around your waist, his right hand taking your hand higher. A close proximity you expected. This Astarion loved touch—to be close. Weirdly, this grip was soft.
And then, he moved. You are confused by the dance—what was his intention? Slower? Faster? Your clumsiness appeared once more by almost falling, but the vampire’s hands kept you in place. The soft chuckle from Astarion fills your ears, and you feel something you hadn't felt lately—embarrassment.
When was the last time you felt anything, anyway?
“Why the rush, my dear? We just began.” He guided you. Back perfectly still, shoulders impeccably aligned, head high, with eyes staring back at you with a gentleness you didn't recognize. His true intentions were unknown to you. When those scarlet eyes held such tenderness just for you in this present, you didn't know if they were real, or if the meaning behind them was something completely different.
Either way, this mystery game tired you and holds no meaning anymore. Resting your head on his chest, the melody that once was, dissolved, leaving you in a cold silence. The curtains blocked the sun, and the rays of light weren’t as strong as before. Were they afraid, of the dark in the room?
“I was a child of the sun, once.” You muttered more to yourself than to him.
“You were, once.” A different grip—tighter, afraid to let go; or, maybe, caging you to not break the connection. But was it a connection when one line was severed? When the other side was unresponsive?
There was no answer when his response was final. A tone that you use with a child when they should not question further. You are happy without divulging. Ignorance is a bliss. Stay with me. Why do you even think of leaving?
“This is what you wanted—to stay with me.” He reassured, whispering over your ear as he pressed your bodies together.
“Of course I did.” An instant answer. To you, it is a justification for your predicament. To him, it is a decision you made for love. A meaning that both sides had something in common: to stay beside each other for eternity, even if the concept of love was morphed according to whom the person is.
Then, he stopped, and so did you. Opening your eyes, you looked at him, only to see unusual fragility in that crimson. The dance already forgotten; his hand moved to grip your jaw, leaving a gentle kiss. Your eyes flickered to the hidden windows—slightly opened, letting the curtains dance, too.
Strange tenderness. There’s nothing.
He broke the one-sided connection. Crimson eyes wandered your face. “Your meal is soon. I advise you to get ready, my love.” He doesn't leave. He needs an answer.
“Of course.” The response satisfied him, as he freed your jaw from his grip. He takes backwards steps with his arms on his back, observing again. You took the chance to study him, too—exactly the same as you can remember. Curled soft hair, as white as snow; stance looking proudly, But that face…
“I’ll wait for you.”
“Yes.”
Unfortunately, such embrace almost meant nothing. A chore, perhaps; or maybe, a burden only a puppet can keep on doing. The cruelty of it all left hollowness, and even the memories had left you.
The rays of light seemed to exist again once his presence was gone. There's warmth once the sun remembers you, calling what was before your name. To come back to them.
You had a name, back then. Your friends called your name, once. They didn’t erase it. They didn’t call you things you weren't.
The memories belong to the curtains. What you once were, belongs to them now.
You had a reflection. You had warmth. You had mortality. You had the sun. You had him. You had—
You opened the curtain.
The window had no reflection for you.
But it had such a loving embrace you didn’t have in many years.
You came back to me, child of the sun.
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n0irrrr · 11 months
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Did you quit
nope, it's just a long hiatus because of life, and that has affected my inspiration and mood for writing :c
also, since reading my stuff again has made me cringe so badly, i think i've decided to rewrite/overwrite RMA and empty because it is soo bad... although i have mostly written rma's next chapter, i'm not sure when i will finish it :C
honestly, seeing these two works public makes me so stressed LOL. i hope readers dont take them the wrong way, although they are really bad omg. i've wanting to erase them completely, but i know there are people who come back to re-read them and i guess that is stopping me.
hopefuly i can write small stories or oneshots for more than the aot fandom, so don't be mad at me if im not updating those two series!
also, empty got a russian translation 9 months ago, and i just completely forgot i had messages here. so check if out.
i know there are asks that havent been answered... (っ◞‸◟ c)
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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you hangin in there?
i am, unfortunately, still alive
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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heeeey i really love how you write, are you going to continue any of the series?? :(((
hello! i truly want to continue my stories and write new works, unfortunately i have been pretty busy with my life now since i have started college... but i do check what can i write from time to time ;_;
knowing myself i wont give a "expect something this month" because i am a liar LOL. but i won't leave them, so i do plan to continue them!
unfortunately seeing them makes me cringe T_T but a rewrite is a no-no knowing myself... but expect some changes to past chapters, i think.
i know this ask is old too ;_; very sorry! and thank you.
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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I love you and your stories/writings...... Keep safe and healthy, dear!☺️💖
thank you very much! i havent written much but my stories are always on my mind LOL. sorry for the, again, long hiatus.
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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I want to read your "Kisses [Various x Male!Prettyboy!Reader]" but seems like there's no URL found.... I was searching the title on your page but none appeared.. May i ask for you to send the link when you post my ask? Thank you in advance!
hi! i made it private in most of my accounts but my ao3, so you can read it there! spoiler alert: is cringe and horrible T0T but go ahead ;w;
also, i know this ask is old as hell. im very sorry!
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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hey, i hope ur doing ok :) i was wondering, r ur stories discontinued or r u still on hiatus? <3<3
hello!
none of my stories are discontinued unless stated otherwise! i know i don't update for months and months... but i still write or i try to write everyday at least one sentence, or just a few words to both of my stories and many others ;v; i don't want to say i'm in hiatus, but i really don't have time for anything these past few months and it has been pretty stressful. yet i really want to update so i try to get chapters done very slowly,,,, ;_;
if i do cancel/discontinue my stories, i will post an announcement saying so (: hopefully that won't happen LOL.
and yes, i'm doing ok! thank you very much. hope all of u are doing good and everything is going well! hopefully i can post something this month or the next................... hopefully orz.
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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Hola, nomas te quería saludar y desearte un buen día :D. Te queriá hacer una preguntita tambíen, estaba leyendo todas tus fics pero no puedo encontrar la de 'Kisses', que le pasó ?😲
Hola! Muchas gracias ^^
Aah, jejejeje es que la archivé. Me daba un poco de cringe saber que las personas leían semejante cosa jsjsjsjs (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) es algo que escribí cuando apenas empezaba y siento que es muy tonto? o muy ew wtf.
sin embargo todavía lo tengo público en mi AO3, por si lo quieres leer jajsjsjsj.
buen día, y perdón por responder tan tarde!! ;__;
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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this is the most beautiful thing i ever seen in my life
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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this is the best timeline
no thoughts, just the aot sanrio collab
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n0irrrr · 2 years
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“i’m heading to bed, goodnight ☺️”
me in bed:
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n0irrrr · 3 years
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e m p t y / 15
shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist
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chapter fifteen
found
It was an unfortunate turn of events. Things didn’t mean nor were visualized to go like this, but hey, life was a box full of surprises— some pleasant, some bitter. Unluckily, [Name]’s future seemed bitter in every aspect, and that didn’t seem to change any time soon.
”Where the hell should I go...?” The lost boy spoke to himself, sitting on the grass. His foot hurt, his side hurt, his head hurt— walking was a small problem, but the pain was bearable. His jacket helped a lot to not receive any scratches nor cuts, but his face and hands said otherwise. Messy hair, blood pouring from his nose, bruises and nails bleeding... the poor boy was left a mess.
He didn’t know where to go exactly. Reiner was the one with the map, so he was the one calling the shots. [Name] had briefly seen the map, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.
Big mistake, you idiot.
”Well, at least I’m not dead,” he yawned, carefully rubbing his eye. He had stayed in total silence for many minutes to at least hear a voice, but the only sounds he heard were the birds signing and the squirrels talking to each other, “...I wonder what they are talking about...”
There was no voices he could follow— he was truly lost in the forest. A very, very dangerous situation to be in by yourself.
Well, it wasn't as if there was another way to lose that thing. Reiner could be slow, and getting a bite from it wasn't going to be pretty. [name] tried to imagine his friends were fine, since they ran another way, but his mind didn't help him but wonder about them.
Lying on the grass, the amnesiac stared at the sky with lazy eyes. His chest moved up and down slowly, feeling a bit dreamy. 
He remembered those times with Eren, as they both sleep on the woods along with Armin and Mikasa. It was pretty weird— a sleepover on the woods. The principal activity was hearing Armin read his books, but specially his book about the outside. His energetic yet soft tone of voice made them wonder about the impossible; about what wasn’t seen by anyone here. Not even the soldiers who fought for humanity’s freedom.
Talks about where they wanted to go, what they wanted to do. Tangled wishes made by wondering children, all thanks for an old book nobody know who created— an unknown author that disappeared from the planet, leaving a wish behind for someone to fulfill.
The amnesiac boy was sure his answer was out there, where normal people couldn’t touch. Where people inside the box could not wonder; where people who refused to explore more than what was allowed choose to ignore the reason of such taboo.
[Name] was decided to explore that world. 
But first, a nap didn’t sound that bad.
You feel fear— someone is chasing you. Not just one person, but there's many sounds behind you. There's yelling; someone is barking orders. Multiple footsteps— soldiers.
In the dark streets lighten by lanterns, two people run down the street.
Your companion is terrified— why are you running? What's the danger? Why do you feel so scared? Where are you?
You were too slow. They caught up with the two of you. A shame. 
You are cornered just like an animal. Perhaps we always were.
”We have finally found you— a ███...” the one in command spoke with a tired grin, satisfaction running all around his body as he saw every inch of terror on your faces, “you all have been hiding like those ███, aren’t you? A shame most of you die because of that ███...”
”P—Please, let us go! We didn’t do anything!” You tried to plead, but you know it's all for nothing. They are savages, after all.
”That’s true,” the man looked as of he was thinking, “but you are all the same. You share that dirty blood— sorry, nothing personal. Just following the King’s orders, you know?” a harsh chuckle left his mouth, mockingly looking at the two victims.
”Why are you doing this to us?! Please, I beg you, leave us alone! We’ll do anything!”
The soldier's aim falters, his expression showing a frown. ”...Anything?” He softly asked, tilting his head as he looked down at the couple. The ones being chased nodded erratically, a look of desperation and relief plastered on their faces. “...Then run.”
”...What?”
”Run away from me. I’m giving you the chance,”
A soldier's confusion makes him speak out loud. ”Sir?”
”Did I allow you to talk, soldier?” He glared at the poor soldier who only shut his mouth in return. The sergeant looked again at the poor horrified pair, “you heard me. You can run for your lives, but don’t look back because I will kill you.”
The leader stares with an unknown look, but you don't hesitate. Already running with your partner while holding hands, you hope to get out of there— were they don't exist. Where you can live freely. Where there are no dreams shattered. Where there are no children fighting battles they don’t own.
The two of you almost make it out of there; your partner grips your hand. Hopelessly staring ahead, you almost smile.
Just before the pair sighed in relief, two shots echoed trough the silence of that night.
Footsteps approaching— the unmistakable sound of military boots stepping on the dirty ground.
The sergeant in charge stared at the two bodies laying on the floor uncomfortably. One pair of eyes remained closed, while the other widened as it looked at it's partner. They didn’t know what just happen— or perhaps they didn’t even realize. Maybe that was a gift.
An expression of complete disgust appeared on his face, utterly repulsed by such view, “such a waste of ammo,” looking behind, he immediately barked orders, “soldier ███ and soldier ███! Get these things and throw them away. You,” he pointed another soldier, “will clean this shit.”
With a last look, the captain whispered. ”You should have looked back, filthy ███.”
。。。。。。。。。。。。。
“This ███.. are you sure he can have it?”
”Do you have another child around? This kid is the only one left— Keno’s child fell into illness, and we all know she’s not going to make it.”
”But... he’s going to be so alone...”
”We have no choice. All of us are going to ███ eventually. Hopefully he can find his way back...” the man sighs, “if he’s lucky, he can find us. But... I don’t have much hope.”
”Oh, my poor child... please, find your way home...” someone kiss your temples with gentleness, “I will pray for your safety.”
”Praying will solve nothing. What good have that brought us?”
。。。。。。。。。。
In front of you is the sea.
You are not alone— there’s a woman besides you, but the ocean waves are the single thing you can hear until she speaks in a gentle tone. You know that voice, but you don't know who belongs to.
”You know, little boy, there are many things you will discover trough your life. You have to live it fully until you can— people like us can’t live longer than what we like to.”
”Why?” You hear yourself asking— a younger voice of a little boy.
”Because we are the ███ . Easy as that.”
”But mom wasn’t like them...”
”And perhaps you could live longer. Who knows? What we need to know is that you will walk forward until the end, with your head high and with no remorse. You are strong— make your future and travel trough these waves. The world is much more than a simple caged island full of fools.”
She gazes at the sea, a grim expression shown on her face. “But a peaceful future is not what we can get. That boy... it has been said he would only bring misfortune. The elders said your only goal is to ███ him,” she frowns, “that’s something I don’t want you to be. Why do we have to be in that position..?”
”███? I don’t get it...”
”Well, it’s not as if we aren’t named the cursed, after all...” she sighs, “you will understand soon enough. Our only goal as the ███ bloodline.”
The woman sits on the sand, signaling you to do so. Obeying, you can’t help yourself to grab the sand and play with it. You only hear a chuckle coming from the woman, amused by the show.
”Pay attention, okay?” She says in a firm tone, showing him a small brown book, ”this book is important— don’t lose it. Inside there is everything I told you about, and much more. Be careful with it and handle it with care... drec femm pa dra mycd desa E fuimt cyo ed.”
。。。。。。。。。。
“Goodnight, ███.”
-
”███ is going to attack someday— that’s all we know. Hopefully, the others ███ can do something before that.”
”You are speaking as if you have faith in this kid. That’s dangerous— you won’t even be there when he wakes up.”
”Oh, ███! Stop the negativity! I believe in my ███. He’s strong— if something even happens, he will find his way trough.”
-
”I didn’t mean to make things go this way. Forgive me.”
-
Fa ymm yna kuhhy tea! Zicd palyica fa luimth'd cdub y cehkma eteud! Dra Nispmehk... ed fyc ehhajedypma.
-
”That stupid kid! Why did he had to exist?! If only he didn’t, everything would have been better! Shit!”
”How can you say that, ███?! He’s the key to all of our freedom!”
”Cut that shit! Can’t you see?! The Elders even said that! The world is going to suffer the rage of a ███! Just because he has The ███! Fucking shit! Your kid is not even standing a chance against that— it’s just useless. All of this,”
”He’s going to do the right thing. I know him— he’s my boy.”
”What even is the right thing, ███? This world is going to see the true devil once for all… just because they couldn’t do their job properly. For a nation, ███ is truly useless.”
-
”You are the connection. You will do the right thing and free us. You are the future. ███ counts on you.”
-
”Kill him— you have to.”
-
”Why did you have to join the Survey Corps? You will get killed!”
-
”I love you, ███. Please forgive me.”
-
”Did you know the sea is soooo big?! Even bigger than these walls!!”
-
”I know you have to kill me. But even if I love you, I won’t let you.”
-
”The sea. We’ll go together.”
-
”–ced. With this letter I hope we can unite for a new and greater future. Sincerely, ███ lineage.”
-
"We are the ███'s shield, as they are his sword."
-
"They are chasing us! Son of a bitch! After the hell they put us through we are disposed like this?!"
"Making us forget...? But we swear to protect... why do we have to disappear? Why is that our fault?"
"There's nothing else to do, then. Let's get out of here."
-
”I told you I wasn’t crying!!!”
-
”We are just a creation born from ignorance. Born from hunger for more power and control. Why are we even fighting for them?”
-
”We’ll find each other. Even when 10 years go by, I will always think of you.”
-
"I heard your whistle. You saved me, again."
-
"I promise you I'll protect you!"
"With that loud voice? I don't think so."
-
"I... I can't. I love you."
-
”Goodnight, ███. I’ll see you later.”
…Well, sometimes naps didn’t do the trick.
The unlucky boy slowly opened his eyes, feeling even more tired than before. He forgot his dreams were mentally draining— even when he didn't remember much about them. 
Frowning, [name] glares at the sky in irritation. He feels useless; unusable. Forgetting those feelings were closed inside his heart, whenever he was alone they surfaced to torment his thoughts. This wasn't what he wanted to feel. It wasn't nice, nor made him feel better. It was a never-ending misery he didn't want to take part of.
”...I’m thirsty,” sighing in defeat, [Name] sat down. He played with the grass, feeling sweaty. Taking off the jacket was an urgent need, but the stinging pain on his left arm stopped him. “...and full of pain,”
[Name] wasn’t good with directions, even less inside a forest with his aching body causing his mind to not work properly. But he believed his hearing would come in handy— if there was something at all around this forest. Unfortunately, he could already hear there was more raining coming.
Standing on his feet with an exasperated sigh, the lost boy began his exploration. Sucking up the pain and bruises, he only hoped to find someone or at least the way out. The sun was still up luckily, but it would soon hide because of the rain— the clouds were already grouping up. The fear of being alone with a monster roaming around already crawled on his mind. This was scary.
He felt useless. u̵̬͉͐̌̌̍̈́͆̓̌̐̀̆ś̵̳̯̯͕̯̟̦͖̬̠̪̦̲͔͇̔e̵̢̧͉͔͚̯͈̠͇͖͑̇̎l̷̪̣̘̘̪͇͔̥͎̩̆́̇̑̊̈́́̉͜e̴͖͗̍̽̿̕s̵͚̟̜̯̯͉̼̦͛͊̎͆̆͌̑̊͑̈̈́́͘͠s̵̨͎͎̜̗̉̐̇u̶̟̜̹͎̯͇͌̐̇̈́̐̎̿̌̕͜ŝ̶͓͍̠͖̞͍̰͚̩̜͆͐͑̈́̀e̶͖̹͎̦̭̦͕̰͎͚͍̓̇̈́̏͂͑̿͊̈͐̚͝ͅl̴̡̻̽e̴̛̪̙̙͓̽̈̏̅͝ͅs̶̞̲̣̘͐̊s̵͉̜̗͕͍̰̬̦̻̰͖̈́̎̐̽͆́̈́u̷̝̠̙̐̂͗̈́͌̒͘̚͜s̴̖̹̪̮͙̣̓̎͝͝ê̵̛̺̥̭̊̅͌͗̂͗̃͘͘͝l̶̫͇͎̍̍̊̑̃͊͛͘e̵̡̪̼̯̬̣̫̞̥̾̉̓͘ͅś̵͔̤̣̦̺̰̀̔̂̓̉̈̍͠͝ś̸̛̘̈̂̌̋̀̂͘͝ů̷̢̢̯͎͉̬̥̱͖̮̯͉̦̱̍̊̂͐̅̌͑̅̎̕̕͜͝͠s̶̢̢̙̲̰͍͇͎̙͓̲͈̑̃̆̽̑͆̔̄͐̈̎̌̚͜͠͠ȩ̴͇̤̼͍̯͈̤͉̬̣̿̈́̐l̵̢̡̛͓̜͈̦͈̭̎̍͂̂̉̑̏̕͘̕͠ͅȩ̵̢̖̳̠͓̼̠̮͚͍͔͇̰̋͆̃͆̏͐͜ṡ̷̛͔̺̑̓̋͘̚͝ṧ̵͓̪̮̱͕̭͖̲̺̈́̈́̽̾̐̚͘̚͠ͅu̵̧̢̻̔ͅs̸̫͈̘̺̺͖̫̭̜̭̟̖̿ę̵̞̱͚͚͈̱̟͖͔̣̻͋͌̽͛̓̈́̑̒ͅĺ̴͔̼̥̗̥͕̠̋̍̒͋̕͜e̶̡̟̝̪̰̥̤͖̪͚̼̤͐̃̍̒̆͒̋̑͘͝s̵̯̤̠̤̍̈̾͌̋͐̎͑̓͒̂̈́̀͠s̵̡̛̫͉̻̬̆́͐̏̄̾̈́̈͘͝͠ų̷̘͍͆̌͛͝͠s̵̡̡̻̟̺̙̹͓̲̦̦̰̮͇͒̈́̆̂̐̒̒̕̕͝͠͠ẻ̸͍̩̫̩͍̝͚̐̉̍̂̈́̉̓̃͋̀͊̀̈́͝l̶̢̛̥͈̤͓͖̤̩̤̞̟͌̈́̽͑̈́̆̏̓̑͐͊̓̕ͅę̷͔̬̭̮̾̋̔̅̋̋̄̀s̵̛̟͉̫͆̃̽̓̐͂͗̑̚s̷̹̱̞̳̫̖̲̓̓̒͒̒̆̐̇̋̚͜—
"Everything is going to be alright. I have always believed in you, so please be strong."
[name] didn't like loneliness. He loved his friends; their moments together is what made him, him. If not for the people around him— if not for Beatrice, he would have been a nobody. Someone who wasn't meant to exist-- a mere ghost with no purpose. But, even in his present, he sometimes felt like a ghost— as if he was someone faceless. Even if he remembered his name, he wasn't sure anymore about it— perhaps he confused his memories.
Perhaps they weren't his, anyway.
Perhaps he was nobody, really. 
w̶̰̦͈͍͚͉͛͋͌̌͒̑̽̀͛h̴̡̜͚̩̼̙̺͕̮̼͓̹̩͍̄͋̈́͗̀̅̅̾͐̇̾̄͘͝o̵̡̡̰̻̲̞̤͍̣̙͔͎͚̙͋͂͌̾͘ ̴̤̱̓̓̎̓̂̒̄͐͋̾̏̈́̀̔̕a̴̢̡̝̞̗̰̞̓̉̂̇̿̊͊́͛̏̑ͅŗ̶͔̟͚͇̾̽̈̉̀̓̽̓e̶̛̦̊͒ ̷͚̻̭̠̳̻͕̝̎̀̏͜͜ͅy̸̧̧̨̭̥̰̝̼̺̠̺̳͚̥̽͐̓̌͛o̵͇̯͋̊̓͆͝ų̷̳̫̣͓̦͖̳̣̣͈̻̬͚̂̇̈́̒̍̆̇͌̐̄̉̄̅̑̚?̴̡̙͇͔̪̬̟̖̘͍̭͐̾̔̀͐͗̑̑̾̋͌̂͘͝
"Its okay to feel fear. I have been scared many times!"
"Stupid kid. Be careful!"
As he wondered inside wonderland, the footsteps behind him weren't noticed at first. In fact, a deep haunting growl was the major factor that took his attention.
"Uh...?"
He looked behind him, connecting stares with a red intense eye. [Name] was sure the thing was looking for him all this time— he was a fool for believing otherwise.
I should have know better.
”̶̛̣̫͚̱͚̦̬̜̍̆̾̏͗̂͂̅̍̎͐͑Y̴̛̙͚͙̾̍̉̽ȅ̴̢̟̯̭̫͖̪͔̺̞̝̭͍̬́̓͐͂͊̈́̔͑̃ͅş̵͕̫̯̖͇̭̘͎̻̪̘̍̑̿͂̄̇̊̿̚͝,̴̡̝̠̭̈́̔̐̐͂̇̈̌͂̒͌́̋̀͝͝ ̶̧̡̩͇̞̲̙͍̰̞̤̩͕͍͇͆͂͌͋̉͋́̓͝͝y̸̨̨̼̬̦̣͈̠̜̣͙̣͙̜̞̾ô̸̰̞͎̞̝̠̣͙͕̲͇̗͓̗͑̌̎̔͘ͅu̶̘͓͙̺̻̹͌͋̂͌̀͝ͅ ̷̡̝̘̪̝̦̥̤̓́͋̽̑̀͆̈́̊̐̕͝s̶̢͖͓̗̤̻̖͇̟̗͇͙̀̍̑͌̓̅́͐h̸̤̬̳̱̩̀̀̊͛̉͗̐̓̈̉̋̈́͝͠o̸̞̔̆̾ṷ̷̧̪̙͍̱͎͎̩̘̺̪̏͜͜l̷̢̪͆̄ď̸̢͚͖͇̲̮̕’̵̨̢͕͉͔̩̥̜̰̜̠̞̝͍̺̒̓̆̆͠v̶̢̯̻̱͔͎̹̙̙̓͛͛̈̍̆̅̏̎̓̽͋͜ͅé̷̙̯͍͚̈́̈́͘.̵̢̹̭̺̳̘̖̫̬͆͐́̏̓̾”̶͕̳̀
“I’m so fucked.”
“̶͉͍̩̥̮̈́̅̏̽́͒͜͠I̴̢̓́’̶̛͚̫̲͚̈̀͛̆̽̿̃̔ͅm̶̨̙̮̘̺̩̹͎͖̪͛̽͒̍̓̔̌́̈́͘ ̵̢̨͚̮̰͖͈̾̄͆̕͜ǹ̵̨̛̝̺̩͚̀̈́̂̌͛͊̏o̶̮̯̺͕̠̍̃̒̐̂̓̃͆̒̌ͅt̷̨̛͚̤͔͍̻͕̑͗͌͊ ̵̼͓̦̄͝ͅh̵̨͒̎ẻ̵̢̨͍̙̼̪͎̱̝̇̈́͝l̵͚̘̀̿͑͋͗̊̚p̷̧̮̎̄͘i̸͖̭̤̩̦͉̐̍̽̋̿̿ṋ̵̯̩̣̺̰́̀̉̓̇̀̀̓̽g̴̞͔͎͍͇̎͌̄̍̈́̓̃͠ ̷͉͕̦̊͜h̸͇̼͇͛͊i̶͓̹̞̾̾̏̐͊̒͋̂͛m̶̯͈̘̣̰̖̌ ̶̩̈́͐̃̈́͌ť̶͉h̷̡̖̱̬̩̫͛̂͂̈́͜͝i̵͍̭̫̾̚s̶̢̱̼̱̭͉̆ ̴̤͉͑͐͗̈̉͊̎̚t̷͍̥̻̗̳̲͕̝̦̽̌͒̍͑͝ḭ̸̛͊̔͗̿̓̿̈́m̴͙͇̮͕̣̹̠̅̋̏̇͋̚e̵̖͙͖̊̐̄̃,̸̧͉̭̼͉̖̳̻̲̓̍͘ ̴̛͚̊͠ͅẘ̷̧̝̭̦̯̞̬̇̈͗͑͠ơ̸̼̯̮̻̣͓̫̖͊̈́̃̏̕m̴̢̘̠̞̘̀a̸̢̟̝̝̰͔͇̞̹̓̅͜ñ̸͕͓͔͚̮ͅ.̴̙͈̬̰͚̗͈̺̇̋͜͜”̷̦̯͍͎̪̙̀̾͊
”̶͇̟̦̐̋̓̆̏͑Y̷̨̩̘̹͋ǫ̶̛̘̻̟͙͈̿͛́͒͋̈́̓̍̈́ǔ̸̮͖̱̖ ̷̭̦͙͚̥̘̎̾͒́͂͂̆̕͜ͅc̵̞̤̓̃̿͠ä̴͕́̑͆̓̾̿͗̕ṅ̵̘̪͙̍̍̌̏̉̉ ̷̯̮̖̥̮̣̲̰̆͒͜b̴̨̈ẽ̸̥͚̲̝̈́̄̐̌͑̊̌ ̵̞̄͗̐͒̕s̵̢̤̼̼̮̟̘̐̆̿̾̓̌ͅo̴͓͂͋ ̴̛̝̰̮͍̖̃̂̽͗̈́͌̇́͜ͅc̴̢̱̞̘̔͐͒͆͑̆̿͐̏r̸̛̫̗͇͈̺͇͎̩̗͒̀͘u̴̬̽͗͝e̸̡̩̯͇̩̜̍̑ĺ̴̛̼̦͔͚̲̗̱̣̥̌̇̋͋͘͝ ̷̨͚͎̾̅̓͘w̴͔͂͊̋̆̍̈́̇̅̐h̴̞̲̖̰̝͈̄͆̊̃̓͜͜͝e̴͍͓͓̞͑n̵̞͑ ̷̧͖͌͐̆̀̍́̓͂̂̾ͅy̵̼̥̜̓͒͐̀͊̚̚ơ̶̘͖͕͈̗̠̪͖̰͒̈̐̓͂̀͋̚͝u̵̧͎̪̳̯̖̟̭̪̓̈́̋̋ ̶̡͍̝̜͖͕̲͉̜͈͐w̸̱̱̹͋̉̉̋̆͛̌̏̑ą̶̧̗̜̱̼͇̮̳͍̏͠n̸͕̰̬̊̽ͅͅt̷̼̮̬̙͈̃̂̽͋̈́̔̄͐̚,̴̗̻̏ ̸͎̹͒̿̚̚█̵̢̝̱̣̝̜̣̰̟̈̓͜█̵̧̢̧̤͍̘̞̜̀̽̾́̉̍͆͘͠█̸̤̓.̴͙͈̠̹̼͓̽̀̓̃̀͐́͌͜͠ͅ”̶̮̻̹͕̮̮̈́͌̒
“̵̥̔̋͂͂̈͌̃̕̕̚͜Ḣ̸̦̣͆͗̽͠e̶͓̥̼̖̦̻̙̭̎̈͑͒̈́͝’̴͍͇̈́̋̍̓̾̌̒̕͘s̴̞͓̘̭̝̱̑̍̕͜ ̴̦̲̥̜͍̏́̈́̽̿͜ġ̷͔͕̭̦̩͙̮͎̫͌ͅo̷̬͕̼̾͒̾̇̍͆͌͊̇ͅi̷̛̛̹̔͐̏͗͆̽͛n̸̤̙̟͛̐̐͊̏g̵̣͈̳̩̹͒̉̂͊̕͝ ̸̧͕̖͔̬̊͗̀̽͋ṭ̴̛̛͕̮̮̳̗͊̈́͐̃̂̏̉o̶̻̫̐͒͋̀͂͒̏͌̇ ̶̝̥̭̗̫͙̓̈͝b̴̳͔̔̄̐̉̅̈́̕ë̴̡̥̰͓́̄͠ ̸̢͆̈́d̴͕͖͙͕͎̘̻̥͖̃͆̏ͅe̴̯̦̥̎͝a̷͈̗̠̩͙͕̿ͅl̶͖̤̦̣͔̥̖̖̻̍̑̃̆̐̚i̶̡̝̥̪̼̥̟̣͋n̶̘͉͓̻̥͋͑͗͋ģ̷̘̙͙̰̺̫̪͔̒͐́͌̾̆̑̀̈̚ͅ ̶̬̙͈̱̝̤̥͉͒̽̊́̎̀̅̕s̷̺̠̦̜̺͊̒̏͛̔̾͊̾̈́͝o̷̻̼͓͇̓̀̀͗̾͊̚͝m̷̡̦̟̬̭͕͚͒́̓͠ͅe̶̤͈̘̊̌͑̃͑͠t̶̢͖͉̤̩͓̻̒͐̎̋̉͜͝h̵̢͈̦͇̝̠̲̭̙̒̾͝i̵͓̜̖͓̔n̴̡̻͍̻͖̫̍̒̂͗ͅg̴̡̲͖̼̫̺͔̋̀͗́ͅ ̵̹͙͎̞̣̦̟̘͊͋̚̕b̵̡̨̬̰̦̆́̾̇̏̕͘͜i̵̛̲͚̋̅̔̀̋̆͘g̸̢̧̛̖̤̗̻͈̋́͗̒̇̅͋̎͝g̴̠̟̗͉̙̣̝̹͍̅̈́̀̄e̷̛̫̙͙̗͕͓̺̓̔͜r̸͈̮̤̻̫̠̋͗̍͗̕ ̶̬̓͋̽̽͋͊͗͠b̴̨̢̪̻̘̻̱̖̲̅́͛̊̂̏̾͜͝ý̸̰͓͇̇̋ ̵̞͋͘͝h̶̦̲̦͍̬̮͈͖̓͐̌͆̕ͅi̵̢̛͚͚̟̩̦̻̱̫̬̅̐̾̀̐͑̂̏m̴̨̤̙̘̮̃̽s̷̤̺͎͇͓̮̜̍̽̀ę̶͚̜͙̗̥̋͑̽̆̐̑̏ͅl̸̄͘��̢̻͔͍̯͈̯̐̋̅̓̓̇f̷̪͓̭̤̣̯͙̞͍̀̈́ ̷̨͙̺̗̜͓̫͆́̎͂͋̈́̅̑̚o̸̬̊̉͋́́̀͊̕̚͝n̴̛͓̜̒̏̎̔́̈́̕ͅe̷͉͚̭̐̔͌̈̐̅̃̒̉͘͜ ̸̢̘̹̭͊̓̑̈́̀͝d̶̙̼̺͔̲̜͚̣͂͗́̐̆͊͝a̶͉̭̪͑̄̃̍̅͂̇͆̓͝ẙ̸̱̍.̷̳͍̔̂ ̸̳͔̼͎̐͑͝Ũ̷̠̜̘͙͎͝ņ̵͉̻͇͖̜̝͔̺͗̅̊d̷͓̹̭̳̓͠e̶̡̘̯̤̫̔̋r̷̨̡͓̰̰͍̓̿́̌͜s̶̡̻̪͖̫̥̥͆̄́̐̅̌̈́͘͠͠ͅt̴̬̦̪̞̥̮͛͋͒̐͋͑̾̈͑͘a̶̞̫̞̤͒̈́͛n̶̠̹̜̠͉̰̳̻̝̑̓͋̄͌̉͝d̵̢̜̯̣̩̦̪̮̞̒̈́̽̂̿ͅ ̴̘̙͕̮̪̖͌̐̋̇̓͗̿̅̈́̍ḩ̴̢̲̤͂̅̐͜ͅi̵͉͕͈̘̋͆m̴̛̻̤̗̰̻̪̉̇̕͜͜.̸̤̙͉͕͕͎͖̭̦͆͐́͠”̴̯̀͊́̓̅̂́͝ͅ
”̷̧̝͇̘͖̲͔̙̭͗̃͊…̵̧̼͋̈́̉̆͋͠͠Ḻ̶̨̹̟̏e̸̡̡͉͉̝̻̼͎̅̑̇̒̈̋̂͐͌͘n̸͈̗̻͍͍̉̿̄́̾͂̑̏͠d̷̨̛̫̯̪͚̰̤̠͓͛̔ḯ̷̺n̷̛̲̼̄̋͗͗͠͝͠ĝ̶̨̊̀̉̈̑͛ ̷̦̞͕͉͈̋̈́͜͠a̴̭͗̽̾̉ ̸̖̪̠͉͕̜͉̍̋̒́͒̆h̶̛̖͓̅̃̍̄̊͗͝ä̶̢̬̜̼̤̜́̊̊͂ņ̴̡̡̨̼̤̮͚̻͊͛̀d̵̡͓̮̘̝̂͠ ̷̧͎̙̣̫̪̱̭̖͑̾̀̓̕͝ͅī̷̳͉̹̌̅̑͝ş̸̛͍̝̣͆͂̌ ̴͉̫̫͎̅͑̑̿̊̒͜n̷̞͑ơ̴̙̮͌̀̇͂͆̆̈́͝͝ť̶̘͖͇͉͉͌͆̀̿̍́̐̋̕ ̶̙͇̜̌̈́̊̐͊̈́́͗͝ẁ̵̨͙̭͈̯͙̲̳̖r̴͖͓̎̋̎̾̕͠͝͝ŏ̷̪̬͒͛̏̈́͂͂̏͆͘n̶̰͚͗̒̏g̶̡̫͈͔̮̮͚̫̘̗̎́̏̄̏͋̊̚.̸̡̱̭̘̪̳͔̻̔̾̆̔̇͒̈͊̕̚͜”̵̢̺̦̫͙̹̞̲̃͂͊̋̃͑́͋̐̕
”̵̧͚̩̙͎̹͓̺̻͇̍̉̓̆͐͝N̷̨̲̦̝̖̭̻͔͔͂́̏ͅę̷̘̦̻̙̟̱̊̌̆̅̓̾͐̓̔i̶̛̫̫̿͊̀͂̀̈́͛͐͝t̵̛̺͖̹̓̈́͋̅͛̽͒̚͝h̶͉͚̼̉̇̔͊̈́̈́̾̒͜͝ͅe̷̝͓̪̬͈̙̽̐͛r̷̡͖͉̝̯͉͚̺͗̀̊̑̌̈́̈̾́͆ ̴͔̝̲̰̟͍̭̭̤̓̎͊ĭ̷͖̱̬͇̪̓̈́̒̎ͅs̸͎̀̆͗̉̓̈́͝ ̸̫͊͊̍̊̾̂͘͘͝ḽ̷̨̢̨͕͔̯̘̥̰̎͂̓͌̽͘͠e̵̮̒t̸̻͈̝̯̤͇̻̣̉́̒͂̉t̷̹͆͜ͅḯ̷̧̱̘̼͔͚̝̆̈͝͠n̶̢̢̰͖͚̞̭̼̝̩̍ģ̷͎̤̰͔̜̹͗́͌͂͆̂̍ ̸̨͖̠̎̆͛̽̎̄̾̔h̴̨̛̠̙͎͎̱̤̬͉͂̓͑͐̍̒͑́͝į̵̨̧̭̲̥̙͚̰̀̉m̶͚̈͛̈́̾̽͂͐̔͘͘ ̷̢̮̰̹̳͙̤̺̑̊͂̅͌̚g̷̤̦̀͛̎͆͝r̵̦̃͒̽̍͘ǫ̴̢̤̤͉͕̦̲͕̎̔̈́̐̅́̌̒̋͋͜w̵̭̘̬̲̜̗̉̇̆͗̐͒ͅ ̷͙̂͒͌̈́̐̋͐͂͒̈́ų̸̲̊p̸̤̠̞̹̣̺̮͈̐͌̄̑͂̾̍̆̎.̶̯́̾͐͜͝”̶̦͎̗͉͖̌̏̑̾͆̀̌̕͠
Just as the beast sprinted [Name] did the same. He knew there was no way to go— the thing doesn’t seem to get tired easily, and [Name] was more than tired. There was no other choice but to fight— but he couldn’t see how. Running was the only way to gain some time for whatever he could do next. But his mind, filled with terror didn't let him think— he was scared. Scared of not see anyone of his beloved ones again; to not enjoy his usual life with the others. To not see Beatrice again— to not laugh, cry, dream.
He abruptly stop right into a tree and looked behind just to see the beast charging directly at him. [Name] tried to regulate his shaky breathing as his tensed body prepared to move at the exact moment he ordered— and just as the animal was inches to bite him, [Name] shut down his own pain and jerked away just in time for the beast to hit it’s head on the wood, a loud bump echoing the forest. The boy didn’t waste time and ran again, sparing a quick glance behind him to see the animal was grunting and didn’t intend to move.
”̸̭̆̉̄̽̀͜͠͝À̵̖̳̼̙̿̔̍̇̇͛ṱ̴̟̔̽̇͌̐͝ ̵̙̳͊͊̎̄̇̀͌ļ̴͖̥̥̈͆̉̀̈́͝͝ͅȩ̸͙͎͌͘ą̸̨͉̼̳̭͖̩͓̗͒̈́̾̔s̶̝͔̩̟̺̙͇͕͊̉̈͂̋̈́͘ͅt̶̡̯̦̪̫͒͗̆̀̐̓͗͘͠ ̷̩͙̃͋h̶͍̩̩̝̺́̎̓̓̆̈́͝ē̶̘̯͈͉̪͚͓̞̆͑̍͑̓̀́͒͂͜ ̶̖͕̬̤̬͆͌̽͂̀͑̋́̚h̵̢̗̤̩̜̲̼̞͚̎͐̀̚͝ͅã̴͖͚̻͎̰̇̂͊͐s̵̱̳̝̪͕̝̖̎̀͜ ̶̧̡̖͈̞̗̣̼͇̀̾̀͋̑̎̒s̸̛͎̫̮͉̺̖̺̣̀̂̔̏́o̴̧̼̝̭̘͓̭̤̤̊̈́̓̀̆̋̇̕̕̚ͅm̶̧̟̺̱͉̝͍̼̱̂̂̕ê̶̡̡͓̜̼ ̵̧̤͔̦̠̠͆̋͛̋̈́̔̈́͘͠b̵̢͈̫̯̫̀͒̚ȑ̶̠̇̈͑͐͑̓a̶̢̛̻͈͆̒́̎̽i̵͈̻̘͋̈̂̐̽͋͛́ņ̴̥̘̬̭̩̳̎̕s̵̛̲͈͌̓̅ ̶̨̨̛̹͈̟͖͈̯̜̩̈́͊̐̀̐́̋͆̕l̴̛̤̼̘̺̖̗̝̫̹̯̏́͒͌̕͝͠e̶̫͈̥̯̟̋͗́͗f̷͍̯͉͓̠͗̓̈́͌͂̃͝t̶̡̬͍͙͗.̸̟̈́̎͂̈̐̐̀”̸̛̛̜̬̟͕͔̦̪̫͛͒͋̒̈̿͜ͅ
”̸̗͙͇́̂̾̆̆D̵̩̘̍́̎̐͝o̶̯̤͙͉͍̦̪̩̤̥̎͋̓̿̔̑̕ņ̸̨̞̞́͆͑̄͗́̎͊͑̇͜’̸̣͔͍̪̇͆̌̈́̆̀͂̕t̶̳̅̀̈́́̓͂ ̴̜͍̘̏̀̈̓̀͋̎ḇ̷̟̣͍̪͂ĕ̸̟͓̦̩̆̚ ̷̩̈́͛̋͋͒̏͝r̶̞͕̤̂͑̀̽̋̈́͆͌̓̓ú̶͎͓̜͛̉̄͌͒͠ḋ̴̟̜̟͇̳̙̉̇ȩ̷͉̙̳̳͖̖͆̓̀͐̕͝͠!̸̨̛͚͕͚̋͑̋͊͌̔̓͌̄”̶̧̼̹̪̖̱̭͎̟̊͋̀͘͘͝
[Name] tried to get away as much as he could— hoping he could find a weapon to defend himself, yet his erratic state did not let him focus on anything. Whatever he was doing or planning was done when death was breathing on his neck. 
“̷̨̪̣̤̭̱͚̋̐̈́̏͗̕̕̕T̸̜̲̘̬̜̽͐h̵̜̯̯̩͍̄̈́̒͆͌̆͌ỉ̵̞̼̳̥̱̤̫͖̊̂̓͝ͅs̶̢͎͚̞͉͕̳̩̭̬̈́̌̄̆̅̒̋̄ ̸̜̆̈́̀̅̅̂̌͌̚k̷̺̱̪͌̀̇͛͝͝ị̴͇̬̦͗̾̂͂̅̾͑̈͝d̵͍̩͇̍́̿̓̆̉̈͘̕͝…̸̛̰͙̲̘̞̒̇͐̀͛͌ ̸̛̯̗̗͍̞͇̦̈́́͊̈́̉͛̊̇͜͜ą̵̨͆̊̑̄͗r̸͍̰̞̼̼̟̳̆̃̏̔̑̾̊͘͠ę̵̨͍̱̗̮̫͙̲̿̋̒n̵͕̗̯̻̦͓̒̌̉͒̍̎’̴͉̯̣̝̪̞̥͚̫̈́̀͛̈́̽͛̽̂̈t̴̡̩̟̹̼̱̉͒́͑̅́̕ ̷̡̩̣̕w̸͚̪͛̍̉̑͒̽́ͅe̷̛̪̳̬̲̳̱̬̒͒̀͗͆́̃͠͠ ̶̢̟̮̲̲̥͕̠̒̿̌t̷͓̓͛͛̔͝r̷̡͈̹̙͑͛̄̔̕a̷̢̗̼̫̼͇͛̈̐͌̐̉͐ͅỉ̶̧̺͈̭͍̣̦̳̙̘ņ̵̰̺̏͋̃̂͜i̴͙͊̎̈́n̷̢͔̭͍̥̗̮̊ͅg̴̢̤̮̽ ̴̢̠̼̯̈̐̍̈́͗̒̅̍̓̌ḩ̷̧̛̳͚̼͎̹̃̀̆͛̃̇i̵͔̱͎̊͒̃̽̈́̉̎͐̾̚m̵̛̩̲̘̻͗̊̈́̀͂̚̕͠ ̴̧̼̪̟̰͚͚̝̖̣͗̈́͒t̴̡̛̬̖͕͈͎̬̳̊̀͊̌͜ͅo̷̭̞̩͐̍͐̾̇̎̊̍͘͝ ̷̙̫̆͋́͋̽͂ọ̶͖͚͊v̴̨̰̝̦͈͓̣̜̈́̎̿̋͗͊̍̇̓̚ė̵̱̗̝̖̮̗̹̟̠͈̈̔͑͑̓r̵͉̦̘̼͉͎͇͔̒̇͑̓͑͘͘͘͝ĉ̸̢͇̀̀͛̿͝͝ò̷̧̬̖̖͕͕͉̜̞̲̈́̎̆m̷̧͔͓̩̫̰͇͕͇̀̈͜e̷̡̡̨̮̤̝̱̪̝̐́ ̷̨͓̮̯̼͔͂̂͐̐͆͘ͅṣ̸̛̜͚̰͍̻̣͆͒͋͛͊͆͜͠h̶͚͎̐ï̴̢̖͉̘̥̼͌̀̋̾̒̇͒t̷̳̜̝̰̦̍̏̈́͒͠͝ ̷̦̭̅̒̚l̴̛̘̜̇̇́̊̕ḯ̴̞̃͆̈́̑̈́͗͠k̷͈̮͔̮̗͚͙̤̺̈́̈͛̈́̓͒̍̓̌͠e̸̡̹̬̬͎͙͖̩̔̆̾͌́̒̔̏͛̚ ̸̙͉̆́̎̂̀̚t̴̮͗̎͒̋́̿̃͠͝ḥ̴̰͈̠͕̩́̉̋̽̽͌͂̐̾͜ͅi̵̡̖̇̅̃̃̀̓̚͝s̴̢̞̤͗?̴̨̊̒͗̏͒̈́̈́͛”̸̝͈̖͇̊
”̴͉̯̪͉̳̝̺̙́̂̐͛̒̌̓̆́̕ͅF̴̳̳͚̞̠͈̗̦͋̈̌͛̾͋̕o̷̙̙̘̮̠͚͎͔̊́͑̽̋̚͝͠͝r̷̫̝̭̱̹̮͒ ̸̫͈̝̙̈̈́t̴̨̛̖̯̩̠̥͆̇́̐̋͝ͅh̵͓͉͉͑̒i̵̟̓s̷̢̡͚̩̣̙͈̉͆̇̐̎͌̉͆̄ ̴̮̦́̑͋̿ȩ̸̬̱̩̳̖̯̼̬̜͊̿̈́͗x̶̛̞͕̜͕̠̺ͅa̸̢͓͖͔̯̰̪͍̫͒̀͐̀͛̿̃c̷̠̪̬̪̞̹̏̋̄̕t̶̢̲̜͍͈͚̟͇̎̐̅ ̴̡̨̠́́̐̃͆̃̏̾̉̓s̸̡̪͉̭͔̙̦͚̼̈̀̇̾͒i̸̜͇͈̳̻͆̂ͅţ̴̱̗̞̗̜̾̈́̽͌͘͘͝ụ̸̙̬̬̘̹̂̿͊̄͊͗̎͠͝ͅa̷̝̬̻̿̒͂͆͒̂̅̚̚͝t̵̛̘̓͗̽͌̿i̷͙̳̟̙̦̺̽͑͗̍͊̌͋ͅo̴̡̧̧̞̠͉̟̟̯̤͐̀̑̐̊n̴̤̫̟̤͚̑̊ͅ?̵̣̩̻͔̳̳̟̂̇͝ͅ ̸͎̖̲̟̜̫̍̿̇̂̒̐I̶̮̼̝̖̯̺͖̒͒̾̌́̋̌͑͜͝͠ ̵̼̔͌̍̈́͆̔́͒͠t̶̲̥͎̦̦͚̠͔͓̄̇̽̄̍̑̚̕͘͜h̶̡̩̥̩̭̹͌̒͋̊̓̔̕ì̵̼͔̜n̵͖̥͓̠̠͌k̶̨̼̗̹̈̉̇͑̌̅͛́̓ ̵̥̞̼̦̒̅͊̏̅͛̚w̵̘͈͇̼̘͈̲̟̎̑̾̆̕̚ę̶̣̘̾̔̏͝͝ ̶̣̩̣͓̕ḍ̷̫̬̦͇͆̅̿̈́͂̄̓̆̇i̴̧̛̔́d̶̨̛͈̬̆̓̈́̈́́̔̀̕̕n̷͉̯̥̤̲͗̂̓̋̈́͜'̶̛̝̥̞̖̞̦́̑͆̃͌͌͠ͅt̷̐̆͜͝.̶̛̼̮͍̋̆̉̿̎͑”̵̨̺̣̩̉͑̃̐̎̕͠
And just before he knew it those loud steps echoing the forest made his mind crazy again— hearing the thing coming from behind so quickly made him tremble. He was tired; his side hurt like hell and his foot felt as if it was going to snap right there. Yet the adrenaline was what made him unable to focus on anything but to live.
Yet, his inability to focus is what made him not notice a thick, curly tree root pecking out of the ground. Something so simple and harmless is what made him fell straight on his face, and to the hands of his executioner.
He tried to get up as quickly as he could, grabbing what he could desperately. Yet, the beast was already over him, drooling, growling and shaking in anger. With a thunderous cry, the thing jerked itself forward to bite, and before it could have gotten his neck or part of his face, [Name] raised his left arm to protect himself, allowing the creature to bite him there instead.
Sinking pointing teeth trough his flesh, touching what wasn't meant to be touched obliged [name] to let out a loud, shattering cry— the thing’s fangs had already scratched him on his stomach and legs, yet the only thing processing on [Name]’s mind was how his arm hurt that fucking much. He cried, he shouted, he whimpered, yet there was nothing else to do— was his arm going to be teared apart? What could he do to something this big? Tears flowed on his face dirtied with blood, his voice getting higher and higher.
”̴͇͗͌͐̅̀̏̈S̸͖͕̩̫̩͆̌͊̽̔͝t̷͕̜̟̮́̀̄ò̴̢͇͍̇̃̚p̴͇̗̭̂͐͐́́̓ ̵̡̛͇̮̮̓̓͝c̶̖͙̯̠̳͚͈̯̜̓̓͆r̵̢̞͚̜͖̞̐̿̍̿̅̊̀̓y̶͓̼͓̘̳̥̜͘͜͠į̶̢̡̜̩̫̹͚̜̰̓̊͛͌͝ņ̶̙͍̲̱͙̱̃̾̓͆̍͊̅g̴̢̙͖͓̜̏̔̓͛̌̈́͠!̴̻͖̳̟̓̍̀̽̍̽͗͝͠ ̵̺̞͈̗̮̱̺͇̗̅̀͐͆ͅF̷̛̖̜̳̻͔̃̈́̅́̆ͅi̴̥̺̠̯͔͔̻̤̮͓̚͠g̸̦̝̰̦̺͔̔̃̍͒͐̃͘h̸͇͋̒́̾̓̈ẗ̷̩͓̏͐͠!̸͔͓͓̔͗͜”̸̝͇̪̎̚͠
Yet, something clicked— his right hand. It had took something solid and sharp: a quick erratic look fell over his only hope: a rock that would have never been a weapon of choice, but there was no time to be picky. It had a sharp side, pointy enough to cause some harm against a person. But to a beast? No way— but he had to fight. There was no choice.
As the thing bite [Name]’s left arm with all it’s strength, the boy let out a harsh, loud cry as he gripped his hand on the shaped stone and with all his will, encrusted it on the beast’s head multiple times, letting out splashes of blood as he took it out and in. It went all over his face, and it was no longer possible to maintain his eyes open because of it— the beast tightened his grip on his arm, yet [Name] never loss his’ on it’s head. Disgusting sounds of something cracking filled his ears; the mix of pain and adrenaline stopped him to feel anything but anger. This time, he wasn't himself— he was just a vessel for rage at this moment. 
Ì̴̠̤̻̒̇̓̇ ̵̧̯̲͓͕̳̖̻̼̀́̐̈́̊̋͘w̸̢̮̘̞̺̹͑͆̈́͒̎ï̵̭͈͍̰̪̖̑̋͊̌̿͛ͅͅl̴̢̖̬̦̫͈̣̙̂̒͒̉͜͝ļ̸̛͉̭̝̠̳̖͚̔̂̉͝͝͝ͅ ̴̞̜̼͑͌͠͝l̸̡̡̩̮̝̭̳̫͂͊͊͊̌̉͌e̵̢̮̝̯͑̈̃͊̇̑̓̊͜͠n̵͍͗͑̔̕d̴̡̛͓̜̺̦̯̗́̎͊̐̒̒ ̶̧̨̛̝̬̫̻̲̏͜͝a̶̠̺̲̭̽̒́̌̏̋̋̒ͅ ̷̪̼̱̫̠̖̄̑̈͜͜ḧ̵̖̻̦̭̟̭́̋͜a̷̭̯̖̜̺̪̜͇̓̔͋̀̈́̍̕̚n̶̻̣͔̜͈̬̂̀̐͑̕ḏ̴̻̜̙̝͔͚̳̏́̄͠.̸̡̢͙̰̙̟̺̟͇͛̿͆̓̑́̈́͂͋̕
It was then, that something inside [Name] clicked. 
Deep inside he was scared, yet the will to see his friends again; to see Beatrice again, made him overcome that fear and replace it with rage.
He was going to fight— fight for himself, fight for his future. He wasn’t going to die all alone in this forest by the hands of a fucking ugly bear. That wasn’t his story— he promised himself he was going to see the outside; to seek the truth and find himself. He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to let anything take his life away like this. He will see them again. 
H̶͍͛è̷͔ ̵̼́w̶͔̐ḭ̴͛l̸̺̎l̷͙̈́ ̸̩̂s̶̺͗e̴͘ͅe̵̮͋ ̸̗͛M̶̭̅e̴̫̔ï̴͉ḳ̸̐ȩ̴̔ ̸̱̚ä̴̦́ğ̴̯a̸̢̎ĩ̵̞n̸̺̓.̵̮͛
A thunder resonated inside his head, and with a last thrust, the stone went all the way inside it’s head as the sound of it’s broken skull and last gruff cry resonated under the rain. Even after [Name] believed it was dead already, his teeth never loose the grip on his arm. It was the boy’s job to carefully let them out, but that didn’t stop the awful, horrendous pain he felt once the adrenaline disappeared. However he could, he pushed the thing aside and laid there, looking at the cloudy twilight.
Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes. The rain touched his face, not washing completely the dirty scarlet on his flesh. Even if it was cold, the amnesiac boy couldn't help but feel sleepy.
A few minutes of resting didn’t sound that bad right now…
A̴͕̹̿͒̒̚f̵̟̩͆́̐̽̓͜ţ̵̢̹̝̯̓͠ȩ̵̡̥͔̹͓̅̀̑r̵̨̬̦͈̩͂̾̐ ̵̪̈͒̋̀̚ą̵̤͎̆̐̑̽̔͝l̶̛͕̜͂͐ľ̴̗͈͚͉̬̅́̃̎ ̶̣̹̄͒̀ǒ̴̳̻̬͉̥̥f̷̩̟͙͍͑͜ ̸͓̔͊̎̋̓ṯ̵͇̊͜h̷͎͌̾̌̚̕ǎ̸̡͇̤̌̆̚t̸̡̢̳̼̜̼̋̆̐͗͘͝ ̷̧͉̼̺̀̊ÿ̴̢̩̭̺̞́͊̏ō̶͉̪̌̎́u̷͚͆̓͋́̑ ̸̹̓̽̎́̕͠a̶̖̓͛͠r̴͇̦̹͇̊̊̋̔̅ḛ̷͔͖̟̓̎̀͒͝ ̸̪̳͕̌̎̔̓ͅg̶̗̮͆͌̌̐̄ó̴̟̜̳̿͛̕͜ȋ̶̜̑̿͆̓͝n̷͚̊ġ̴̯̲̮̝̺̠́̾ ̵͉̂̐̈́͗͝ͅt̶̨̛̖̱̠̰̂̏̊͠o̵̟͕̣̔̈́̓̋̔ ̷̢̝̉̈́̄͋͘̚ͅs̴̙̖̣͈̆̇͗ĺ̷ͅe̸͓͚͂̇̑̑͐̓ȩ̸̯̒͌p̷̛͖̙̞̘̐̇̓?̴̪̮̮̍͊́̚͝!̸͙̼̐̇̏̿͜ͅ ̷̢̢̬̟͌͝ͅẂ̸͕̝̽͆̍o̵̢̺͉̪̟̣͋̋̓̄̂̑m̸̬͙̠̩̗̑͋͑̔͑͆a̸̜̰̺̿̑͊̚n̵̡͙̹͒!̵̞̂̓̇̕͜ ̴͙̮̂W̶̰̼̬̳͔̌̐a̸̛̝̳͖̾̔̓k̵̭͉͈͖̅͗̐͛ͅe̵̙̭̙͛ ̷̨̫̟͓̫̗͆h̷̺͚̆̈̈̅͠͝i̵͈͠m̵̝̫̌̒͛̂ ̵̢͈͍̝̎̅̒u̴̡̺̙̤̽́͛̈͜p̴̡̺͙̙̱̚!̵̛̥̦̯̰̹͔̈́̌̈́
He was going to fell into darkness, until he heard something.
A whistle.
Opening his eyes, [name] thought of his choices: sleep, hoping to be found? or to suck it up, get up and find whoever was calling for him? This wasn't the time to sleep around— not after such display.
Even if all of his body screamed in pain, the boy got up and with his last strength went to where the sound came from— he knew exactly where it was. Luckily, every time [name] felt he was dozing off or just collapse, the stranger whistled again. Just as he stepped closer, he could hear it— voices, two people walking around, talking about some idiot and another gentle voice saying he was going to be alright.
[name] knew exactly who they were. 
With a last fight, [Name] stepped out of where he was and fell straight to the ground, sighing in relief as he heard the voices of his partners coming for him.
”Holy fucking shit!” The blond exclaimed as his eyes widened in surprise and relief, running where [Name] was, “you are alive— you crazy idiot! What were you thinking running off with that thing like that!? You almost killed me!” He tried to look at every injury the [hair color] haired had, and by just seeing how much blood covered his body turned his tone to one more terrified, “holy shit— holy shit! How are you even standing?!”
”R—Reiner! Calm down, he’s okay!” Bertolt tried to keep his friend with a cold head, but the tall boy felt scared of [name]'s well being. Any of it looked okay— the amnesiac boy looked like he went trough hell and back. He was covered in blood, he was shaking. Bertolt felt fear for him.
”I... handled... it,” [Name] spoke between breaths, tired of today, “I told you... we would find each other,” he smiled tirelessly, closing his eyes.
”H—Hey! Don’t close your eyes!”
But even if [Name] wanted to resist, the darkness caressed him with gentleness, inviting him to give in— which he gladly did. The last thing he recollected was both boys carrying him, speaking to him to not fall asleep.
”I told you he’s strong.”
”He barely made it, don’t act high mighty when he has more to do.”
”Reckless.”
“Oh, hush! He’s alive— that’s what matters.”
"Hmn. But for how long?"
The nurse made it clear he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon— horrible news for his friends to hear. She had explained his injuries were worse than they thought— his arm was the bigger problem, to the point they thought it was unusable at first glance. Luckily, further inspection discarded such statement, only needing some stitches to all the injuries and a special treatment for his arm. His arms and stomach were the main point of the attack, with his leg being heavily bruised. Thankfully [name] was unconscious for all the process to not interrupt the process.
Unfortunately, there was no more to do until he woke up, an answer they didn’t have. The boy fell into a slumber where nobody could wake him up. Sometimes the nurse, who was in charge of him most of the time, said he would grunt or say some slurred words. This could be caused by the fever that appeared the next day of his arrival, complicating his health. The head doctor didn't sugarcoat his words and stated he could or could not wake up, if only he didn't succumb to the fever any more.
There where times when his friends would visit him, but the doctor had strictly stated only one person could everyday— the man was surprised as he always saw someone else everyday. The majority always asked for him to wake up and be together again, yet each one of them asked with different tones. Some were upset, others careless —as if they knew he would wake up— and sometimes, he heard a happy voice telling the boy they would wait for him.
Now that he recollected, those two were best friend but yet, they were much different— what was it? Jaeger and his friend... Arlert. The doctor had a memory of how miserable Jaeger looked, taking Knight's hand as if it was the last time he would see him. He could tell the boy needed to cry, but hold his ground, just saying that he 'didn't want to go through this again'. And there was cadet Arlert, who only time he looked upset was the first encounter he had with Knight. Then for his next visits he often wore a sweet smile, holding Knight's hand as he spoke about wondering lands they didn't know— about what they did for today, about a memory they once shared. He liked to bring books to read at loud, too.
And then, there was this other boy— the doctor heard his name once, when someone was calling for him outside: Jean. A look of anger sometimes overcome his features, voicing his irritation about what his friend had done. There was a time where the boy asked the doctor if he was going to die or not, perhaps in a heat moment where he didn't want to wonder any longer. The answer was that, for him, it was unlikely yet not impossible. Jean just grunted, returning to his crossing arms stance with his usual frown. There were times where Jean could only stare at him, not saying a word. But there were other times when he could walk all over the room, until the doctor had to tell him to sit down or leave.
Sometimes, a black haired girl came too. Wearing a sad expression, yet firm voice. She always asked if there was something she could help them with whatever they needed for [name]. "We'll wait for you anytime, [name]. Even if it takes some time," she tries to reassured to the sleeping boy, yet a sigh escapes her lips, "...I cannot say the same for Eren, tough. You are making him the kid he was when you fell sick," she takes his hand, rubbing with her thumb his palm, "you know he has no patience at all... [name], please don't go where we can't reach. I miss you." and just like many times before leaving, she kissed his hand with gentleness.
Eventually Shadis came once, checking on the boy and asking if there was going to be something permanent on his health or not. Even if the wounds looked bad, there wasn't any indication of a permanent consequence. Yet if he woke up any time soon, he had to wait for his wounds to heal completely and take out the stitches. The doctor had made it clear he could not participate in any training if he wasn't fully healed. Shadis knew this already, anyway. Both of them acknowledged the rigorous training the ODM could be, and opening wounds was a big no no. The taller man only wondered if [name] could keep up with their training, or if he would decide to quit after such experience. Only them could wonder.
_______
the past.
_______
”You know, your eyes are different.”
”You have said that before.”
”I know. But I’ve never seen something like them before— and then you don’t remember anything…”
”Your point?”
Armin hums, wondering. 
“Maybe you are not even from here! Maybe you are from a place faaaar far away, don’t you think?”
“If I am from far away, how am I here?”
”Well! The books say humanity made the walls at one point, so that means there were people living freely before that!”
The amnesiac hums.
”And maybe, you were from an important family with distinguish features!” the small boy laughs warmly, imagining the past of his friend, “just like Valten’s story! don’t you think the same?”
Of course he remembers Valten— it was one of Armin’s books the two liked to read. It was about Valten, a boy with amnesia who a girl finds unconscious near a lake. Since the boy doesn’t recall any memories, the girl takes him back to her family, who runs a bar in town. His life develops from there, until an accident reveals his birthmark to the royals and finds out he was the lost prince from the royal family.
The moment Armin found out about the book he ran to Beatrice’s house to read it with his friend. From there, the blond always had bright ideas for [Name]’s past, absurd as they were. That was only what they had— wonders and speculations. Children’s wonder about the unknown— about what existed far away from this confinement.
”But why am I the only one with these eyes…?” [Name] spoke quietly, resting his chin on his knees as he hugged his legs.
”Hmn… maybe because you are special! Maybe you are the only one in your family that have them!”
“Mhm…” he sighs.
”But what we do know, is that our answers are outside these walls! Where the sea is!”
That, [Name] could agree with.
”It is said that the sea is much bigger than—!” And there goes his blond friend again, with excitement in his voice and reddened face as he spoke once more about the sea as if it was the first time he did it.
[name] couldn’t help a smile from forming, feeling excitement on his chest as he imagined what the sea looked like.
_____
the ocean.
_____
“As I was saying, child…” the woman stared expectantly, ordering with her tone to listen, “your future is already written. It is your choice to do it willingly, but unfortunately, if you refuse this task… it will be a hard life for you.”
The woman took some sand, just to slip it little by little. Staring, the boy found the sand more interesting than the so important topic at hand. A laughter came out from the woman before a sad, melancholic gaze appeared on her. 
"Be responsible with your strength— there would be times when you are harsher, so be mindful. Be thoughtful; just throwing your rage at your enemies won't help you, child. That is something a couple of our descendants had trouble with in the past, so don't make the same mistake."
"How do you know about them?"
"Because at one point in your life, you will be able to see the past of some of our lineage. And, if there's no mishap, they and I, would help you trough your task."
”Why do I have to do it…?”
”Because there’s nobody else, love… your family— this lineage, is destined to… disappear. It is our curse, since our blood and bodies were used for the wrong purpose— corrupted by greed just for the sake of wanting more.
Something like us weren't meant to exist, and so, time is our biggest enemy. There will be times where you will suffer the throwbacks of our lineage. After all, we are a creation born from ignorance, and greed blinds the common sense.“
”…I don’t understand…”
She chuckles, “sometimes I forgot you are just a child…” looking at the sea in front of them, a sigh escapes her lips, “the ocean… is beautiful, isn’t it?”
The boy’s eyes sparkled with excitement, clearly enjoying the change of subject. “Yes! It is very big and blue!!!”
”Indeed it is,” she smiles, “close your eyes with me, child.”
“Can you hear it? The waves?”
”Yes!” He answered in a hushed tone, smiling.
”The birds… the wind…”
”Yeah.::”
”That’s a gift from the world to you,” she pauses, “if someday you feel like crying— if you cannot find your way, close your eyes and remember this gift. Remember these sounds, this scenery…
remember, that I will always love you.”
____
the present.
____
The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, body almost numb and hurting. With a migraine incoming, the boy prepared for the worst feeling he was going to experience for the next days.
He let out a groan, alerting the companion on the chair. 
Calling his name, [Name] recognized it was Jean. His worried, loud voice made him headache worse than ever, “s-shit! are you awake?!" the only answer he got was another grunt by [name], who tried to sit down yet he didn't have enough strength to move himself. He felt as if he was... underwater. "don't move! after what you have been trough, don't move an inch, you hear me?! after that shit you did—"
"I saw the ocean," [name] spoke bluntly, staring at the ceiling. It felt too real— a woman he knew but didn't recognize talking about...?
A grunt leaves Jean. "[name], you dream about everything and then—"
"No," [name] interrupted, "I have seen it; it was... vivid."
"...the attack took a toll on you, [name]. Stop talking nonsense,"
Shaking his head, [name] tries his best to sit down, trying to think about the dream. "I think... I think I lived near the ocean— or at least someone I knew lived on the shore..."
"Shore...? [name], you are not listening to me! You have slept for almost three weeks!"
"You are the one who doesn't listen!" [name] talked back, clearly annoyed, "I'm sure the ocean has something to do with me! I just do! Even if all of that was a dream, I..." he looked at his fists with a frown, feeling chaos inside his head, "I know what I saw was real. A woman talked to me on the shore... but I can't reach her words. Something about... me...?"
Jean sighed, annoyed yet understanding. His friend never remembered something about his past back in Trost, so hearing more nonsense than usual leaving his mouth was even more irritating knowing this idiot throw himself to danger like nothing. That was made him livid— he agreed mentally he would hear [name] out, but the lecture he prepared come first.
"Okay, your memories aside," Jean passed a hand trough his hair, "I just want to know WHY DID YOU ALMOST KILL YOURSELF, YOU IDIOT!"
Grunting, [name] laid down harshly again. As he rolled his eyes, he tried to calm his migraine down with no success. "Reiner was in danger. What else could I have done?"
"Uhm, I don't know? Maybe LEAVE REINER WITH THE FUCKING BEAR? The dudes almost a Titan himself, [name]! He could have handled himself just fine! But you HAVE to always be in danger for nothing!"
"How could I left him with that? He's my friend! Would you have done that to Marco?" 
"You have to care for yourself, [name]. I'm seriously saying this."
"Don't act selfish."
"Don't act dumbly. You know you have a problem with your migraines— what would have happen if Reiner didn't find you? Stop acting stupid!"
"But he found me! And now I'm here!" [name] shouted, "Why would I have left him like that!? He's my friend, just like you!"
"Of course fucking not! We are not the same!" he gritted his teeth, "don't even compare me with him!"
[name] glares at Jean, clearly upset. Yet the tone of his voice returns serene again. "Would you have left me there, then? Because I wouldn't have,"
Jean grunted, clearly in disadvantage. “Stop acting like a saint, shit,” covering his face with his hand, the boy’s tone changed into a defeated, tired one, "why are you this clueless? Why can't you see how this place is?" he felt sensible, "why are you so different?"
"…” [Name] stared at the ceiling, a blank but clear sadness overcoming his features, “wish I could know,”
As Jean retreated his body on the back of the chair, a sensible yet pity look fell over his dear friend. Back in Trost, those strange captivating eyes were lost. Jean sometimes imagined looking into a doll’s eyes— an abyss without a light. A dark corridor without exit. There were times he thought his friend was born unable to feel.
But his eyes changed. A harsh change made them sparkier— vivid. It was then, that his sadness, happiness, playful feelings were clearer to catch. 
Jean knew all about it.
His friend was sad when waking up— times where fogging nightmares or nonexistent dreams plagued his mind, making him feel useless.
His friend was happy when eating Beatrice’s breakfast— it reminded him of happier memories he could make instead of trying to reach the past.
His friend was relaxed when sleeping where he wanted— specially inside the woods. A peaceful slumber where Jean wished those times never ended.
His friend was angry when fighting his bullies— Jean always could see that fire in his eyes. It could have been scary, but being [Name], it was never scary.
He only saw tears once. And not those painful tears when headaches came— no. Tears for someone else in his dream; for a person yet to met.
His friend was lost in the world, but at the same time, he wasn't.
Jean sighed, tirelessly blinking. “…a shore, you said?”
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n0irrrr · 3 years
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Male x Male reader blogs Suggestions
So, these are just some male reader blogs that I know of!
@softboy5393 - They are a really good friend of mines and writes amazing male reader stories. They'll also write trans.
@marilynmonroefanfics - if you like reading headcannons, then this blog is for you! He does take a while to do it but in the end, it's worth the wait.
@chaoticforever - If you like reading yandere males x male reader, this is the blog for you!
@pietroshusband and @callmeshakespurr - they are new authors on the scene! Go show them support!
@iliumheightnights - You like reading fluff and angst (happy ending) then this one is for you!
@clouddd-hannn - Like Kpop? Then this one is for you! They write amazing Kpop males x male reader
@bnha-dumpster - Like dark stuff (the REALLY, REALLY dark stuff) then this one is for you! (Though, proceed with caution on this one.)
@bubble-tea-bee - Like slashers? This blog is for you then (You must be 17 years or older, its is part of their rules)
@n0irrrr - Attack on Titan? This blog is for you!
Honorable mentions: @mlm-writer @davidlikesboys02 @bonnyskies @myfeetkeepdancing @malereader-inserts @onionsaremeansstuff @patrickswhore @malexmalereader @undercoveravenger @theotakusupreme-h1dd3n @syiano
feel free to put your suggestions!
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n0irrrr · 3 years
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i love your work sm 😭 your writing style is one of my absolute favorites!
thank you so much! ;_; i KNOW there are a lot of awful grammar going on, but it's v v nice to read you like it ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽ i will try to improve more so it's better to read!
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