omg youre a nursing student!! my mom was adjunct faculty for a nursing school for years i know clinicals can be hell good luck <3￼
Hey, I appreciate that love! I'm actually a med tech student but it's grueling all the same. Thanks for your support :) <3
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Holy wow guys are clinicals something. I have to be up at 5AM to get ready, leave, and be there by 7. For this section I'm 7AM - 2PM with about an hour commute. Given that I still have to work the back half of the weekend at my real job, this will leave only half of Saturday and some of Sunday to fulfill requests and things like that.
I have half of Mammon's "The Baby Assignment" done. Couldn't get it out before clinicals started 😔
Side note: there were no fun names related to Mammon like what I could use for Beel. I did a couple hours of research per day and Mammon's history is few and far between. Some sources used to actually call him Beelzebub? 🧐🤔.
He taught a sorcerer named Ronny or something like that. A very human name I wasn't giving this fake demon hybrid I'm writing about 😂
Weird stuff. Anyways, that's the update ☺️
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I'm really excited for the next baby assignment piece. Whose it gonna be? 👀👀👀👀
The golden boy Mammon, ofc. Who else?! Papa Mammon gives me life. Kind of rude to leave THE GREAT MAMMON out for so long, don't you think? Haha.
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Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.
Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.
Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.
My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:
The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?
Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?
I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?
Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.
End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.
Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc.
As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.
What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.
I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content.
HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)
They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you.
They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates).
Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies
Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.
Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache
Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.
Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.
Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.
As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.
Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse.
Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)
1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking).
We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both
You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.
He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks
He’s not sloppy, just cozy.
Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one
When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair
Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).
GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)
He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything.
He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that
Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)
The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.
He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut
Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)
Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.
His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.
Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement
The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?
The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants
The loud laugher
He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in
Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well
Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down
Sways when he sits
When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair.
Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings.
Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.
It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out
He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket
He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger
He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.
The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks
He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games
He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)
Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs
The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy
Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles
Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.
Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.
He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people
He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy
The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.
Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry
Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’
Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.
Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody
If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!
Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.
Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!
The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day
The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.
The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol
Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.
Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.
He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else
Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring
Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree.
Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy
Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.
Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.
He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.
Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.
When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable.
Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.
His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.
He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent
Will try the funnel drink challenge.
The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.
Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually
The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.
Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.
Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.
The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.
The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!
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I cant wait for the other parts of the Kiss Me series!!! Hoping for Satan or Leviathan next tho ngl 👀
It's gonna be Leviathan. Just saying (¬‿¬)
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Hey guys! My semester finally ended yesterday so I'll be a bit more active leading up to clinicals. If you have content suggestions hop on into the chat or shoot me a message :)
I plan to do at least one "Quick! Kiss Me!" and one "The Baby Assignment" piece before it starts 🤞
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LOVE the idea of demons just plagiarising human media and passing it off as their own under new titles hence why they're so longwinded and wordy. also the idea of mammon single handedly causing unexpected peaks/troughs in stocks has me giggling to myself. not sure where you're up to with lessons so potential spoilers but your thoughts remind me of lucifer's ghost ship :>
My friend, I am stuck where I have always been (21/22). I don't get much of a chance to play due to how intense this program is, and with me fixing to start clinical rotations, but I make an effort to login on my less busy days just to run jobs. I save up 400,000 or 500,000 Grimm at a time and powerup the card set I'm working on.
It usually amounts to passing the latest level by one star, but I want to experience the story organically and don't want to read ahead. I feel it would ruin it for me. That's why I always give the disclaimer of 'some of this is relevant based on where I'm at now and the game, and some of it is how I see the universe.' Not all of my stuff can be perfect to cannon because I just can't keep up. They really card blocked me. LOL.
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If I was actually summoned to the Devildom I would miss my cat terribly. I'd definitely fall into a depressive episode without her, she's like my lifeline at this point. It would probably be a bad idea if I were to bring her though because she likes going outdoors a lot, hates being cooped up too long. If you have any pets would you want to bring them with you while staying at THL or do you think the Devildom would be too dangerous to bring your pets?
This is a super light and cute question so I'm going to answer it since I'm suffering from procrastination/burnout.
I used to have pets (1 dog that was all my own, a cat I inherited from my sister) but they had well-lived lives and passed away at 17 and 19, respectively. I desperately want a chicken to unlearn my fear of most bigger birds but they attract other predator animals that I'm not ready to deal with.
In short, I would definitely bring my animal to the Devildom. There would have to be conversations with Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer first since these three would be most likely to coordinate and prepare for the animal's arrival, but I would definitely bring them. I'm sure the Devildom has their own array of typical pets so there has to be protective booties, cute clothes, jackets, and all sorts of things to help them combat the weather.
I'd like to think that Devildom animals could have conditions and traits like our animals, such as nervousness/anxiety, etc. There's probably training classes and special areas where you could take nervous pets to play and be by themselves. So even if your cat wanted to go outside and play, I'm sure there's somewhere in the Devildom she could go on a nice little walk.
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On that last post of yours, that idea has so much potential! Like, how Lucifer was the one to introduce levi to all his interests, to which he would have had to first discover in the human world. But how? All those adrenaline junky pleasure cults in the olden days, like the cult of Dionysus, was that bc of Asmo and his love to party? And if they copied Harry Potter, is there a parody of the Lord Of Rings?
I 100% believe, nonnie that SEVERAL clever devils ripped off a bunch of human stuff and came back to the Devildom saying they thought it all up. This could have been because traveling at the time was restricted or banned, not a lot of people could do it, or it was just too expensive to import all the human stuff.
Imagine going to the human world and trying to buy SO many copies of these fandom things because you're trying to supply a (probably) secret society of devils. No one is going to have a logical explanation that could fool the humans. Honestly, massive charming and hypnotism would make a lot of problems so I can see how it would be easier for a couple of demons to just say they made it all up.
They probably went 50/50 with some of their sorcerer ans sorceress friends. They asked to borrow the human world stuff, they write it up for demons. Split the profit. Solomon was probably in on it. LOL.
On your Lucifer comment:
I think Lucifer knew about it and got wrapped up in it because he used to watch after Lilith and probably got absorbed more than he wanted to. It was kind of a reverse Little Mermaid thing. He had to understand why she was so enamored with humans and he kind of fell into the same trap.
On your Asmo comment:
It is my personal opinion that he has several children running around the human world. Maybe he had them in secret, maybe he never consented to his genetic material being used, maybe he didn't think it could be because he was in the middle of transitioning from Angel to devil. Maybe it was a crazy ex-lovers situation. We don't know, but I always get a little giggle to myself in public when I see a super pretty person and I like to think that they were blessed by Asmo.
You know, because I'm playing the game and I'm a dork.
He probably hung around and partied too hard and DEFINITELY caused some problems. I bet Asmo was actually restricted from going to the human world for a long time and got around that by making pacts with humans.
On the Devildom probably ripping off other fandoms:
And yes, I think there is at least one Devildom equivalent rip off of each of our franchises. That's why the brothers get so geeked to go to the human world. They know they get the OG merchandise without 90% of the mark-up.
I have a bigger world/cannon/universe theory at least for the sake of my stuff on this blog that Devildom currency is better and worth more than most human currencies.
Ideally, you could make bank working in the Devildom and bringing it back up to the human world. To me Grimm is like our version of real gold. Or something equally or more valuable. You know, because it's old world money. Not a lot of people have it anymore. It's rare.
Like, if I didn't find the power dynamics of sugar daddy and sugar baby relationships personally concerning, I would totally do some fluff headcanons of demons wanting to spoil their sugar baby human. But it just skeeves me out a little bit.
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Okay, dumb thought. On the low-down, I've been watching my blog and keeping up on the notifications and stuff. I've just been super busy with school and dying inside because of exams. And the teacher not knowing how to run a class.
Our exam schedule is so backed up right now it's not even funny! We're a week and a half behind schedule and she can't really explain herself. We've had no real absences and neither has she. Pretty sure she's going to get fired this semester because everybody's been seeing her boss a lot more and they've been trying to catch her and talk to her a lot more.
Anyways, I had a silly, funny thought to get myself back in the groove. Today I don't have to go to work or school, so I thought I'd post a few things here and there between studying.
Thought for the day: what if the Obey Me! boys were behind some of the stuff that the human world couldn't explain?
Like, D.B Cooper was secretly Mammon in glamour and he realized he couldn't take the plane to the Devildom so he just bailed. He thought the money would transport with him and not all of it did. Like, what if Mammon is secretly single-handedly responsible for introducing human currency into the Devildom? What if he got, like, super rich off of it?
What if that one incidence of the Loch Ness monster was actually Levi making a rare trip to the human world and teaching Lotan how to swim? What if the rest of the heads were just under water at that time? Or what if Lotan and was really young and hadn't sprouted all of the heads yet?
I'm sure they've all had some sort of impact on the human world and they were just either too embarrassed to admit it, they see it as a screw-up, or they never said anything because Diavolo would get upset that he didn't get to go to the human world.
I mean, you can't tell me at least one devil has not been to the human world. Not only because of their history with humans, but one of them definitely ripped off the whole Harry Potter series and brought it back to the Devildom and called it Harry Porter.
Just food for thought
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The Baby Assignment [Beel]
Not gonna lie, I wanted to do Mammon next but I love this big guy, so...
The names for his sons (again, from “The Boys as Dads” post) were pulled from Wikipedia after a bit of research. I wanted to see what other names and history were tied to Beelzebub and I found Hesperus and Baal.
Apparently “Baal” was used to refer to Beelzebub in the Hebrew Bible. It was technically a title meaning “Lord” but could be used to reference specific demons. “Hesperus” comes from Testament of Solomon where Beelzebul (not Beelzebub; at some points throughout history these two were separate entities and at other times they were the same figure with different names) talked about his old high-ranking status in heaven and how he was tied to the star Hesperus.
Mammon’s probably going to be next, but I have to do more name hunting.
Beel is secretly excited to be partnered with you. He’s kind of curious about how the kid will look. More human? More demon-like? The two of you stand in the circle and not one but two babies explode in little clouds
Unfortunately, they’re already crying. Whether they’re hungry or the flash of light hurt them, you don’t know. Beel’s already giving this low, comforting purr and shrugging out of his jacket to swoop them up like some little papoose. This quiets them a little.
He can’t help but giggle because they feel like little hams in his arms. Tiny roasted Devilbirds. They look on the bigger side for Devil babies but they’ve got cute round faces and big sparkly eyes already tinging with that orange glow he gets at nighttime. They are carbon copies of Beel and he’s a little sad he doesn’t see the ‘you’ in them.
They wiggle a bit in the temporary papoose but settle when one arm breaches to grab a tiny, pudgy fistful of his shirt. There’s a few moments of ‘open, close, open, close’ where you think the baby is making biscuits against his chest but he finishes up with a firm grab.
Beel ties the papoose around you so he can carry the magic trunk back to the house. You take great care in keeping the light away from them and don’t know quite how to feel yet about that orange tint to their eyes. They observe you with much interest. They’re still cute though.
You’re walking back to the house with Beel and the others when the jacket blob starts to move. You think they’re getting restless (maybe need air?) and peel it open just enough to see what’s going on. They’re trying to tear a hole in your uniform to latch. They want skin-to-skin contact. One of them has their arm down your uniform top. The other is trying to jam their hand in there, too.
You just hold them close as you walk to the House of Lamentation. You bet by the time you get there, you’ll be missing a few buttons.
Beel sets up the trunk in his and Belphie’s room (Belphie’s seriously considering relocating to the attic for about a week) and helps you sit down. He undoes the papoose to find they’ve ripped a decent chunk out of your school uniform and are trying to hide between the fabric and your body. They’re holding hands, their other one either tucked under them or latching onto you somewhere else. It’s really cute and Beel goes beet red.
If you’re female, this gets Beel extra flustered because--for some reason? Demon brain and baby hormones?--he’s thinking about you breastfeeding two kids and being pregnant with another one.
Is he gonna be one of those guys that wants lots of kids? Probably.
He opens the trunk in search of jumpers or something that will help them keep their heat and is surprised to see insulated bags of squeeze-type baby food. All KINDS of food, actually!
He’ll have to try some for quality assurance. Does it actually have substance?
Those kids get it honest because they’re literally only an hour old and they KNOW what food packages sound like. Your uniform tears a little more because suddenly two little ginger-headed babies are watching his every mood like a hawk, heads thrust out of the little hole they made.
Beel is not a fan of opening tiny baby food portions. His hands are very big and this is a problem. He ends up puncturing the cap with a fang and squeezing some out. It works, so he hands it over.
These kids snatch food like Mammon taking a grim, okay? Watch your fingers.
Suddenly there’s a little fussy fight breaking out in your top because one baby has one and one baby has nothing. Beel can’t get the second one fast enough. He just shakes it outside the hole and hopes the empty-handed one takes it.
You tell Beel to help you out of your uniform since it’s basically ruined. Boy heats up real bad, touching your skin and everything. Big boy has it BAD!
The kids hiss and growl and cry until you set them in his jacket and make a nest. Then they’re back to being content little angels, gumming and sucking on the little pouches
“I hope all this eating means they grow fast,” Beel smiles as he takes the empty pouches and looks in the trunk again. It’s imbued with magic that only lets the ‘parents’ open it so there’s no accidents. He’s looking for other flavors as you hug the jacket nest.
Somehow you end up with a tiny little hand tangled in your hair as they try to pull you into the nest. You just lay in the middle and they lounge on you. They are BIIIIG on contact. Like to touch all the time. Very snuggly.
You’re kind of shocked but Beel is big into photography. He never answers you when you ask why, but he’s very diligent about taking pictures. They’re not always the best quality but boy never misses a moment.
After about three pouches apiece, they’ve moved onto Beel. They like to snuggle around his stomach and you joke about his ‘baby bump’. You take the pictures now.
By the end of the night your name has a sound. They are grabbing at you and Beel at the dark, giving calls and trying to wake you up. They want to eat again.
This goes on for days 2 and 3. The twins are more active at night since their eyes don’t hurt and yours and Beel’s sleep schedule are officially messed up. Day 2 they are very vocal with their demon vocal chords, so you basically need a translator. Day 3, you’re used to their nightly disappearances and sneak down sometime after them to see Beel digging through the fridge.
“Apple? See? Apple. Ap-ple.” Beel apparently like smothering them in forehead kisses. He’s passing the food between them and suddenly it’s just three demons cooing over a piece of fruit. They’ve inherited the biting instinct because all three of them bite it at the same time.
He was fixing to wake the house with a happy yeowl about the fangs but had some sense that someone was behind him, so you’re gifted with the sight of three demons still holding onto an apple. “They go’ fanfs,” is what you think you here. Beel technically got the first purr with that one.
When the fangs come out, the food fights start. If you feed them with a spoon or fork it is LITERAL begging for them to let go so you can get more food for them.
Feeding them is a two person job, not because there are two of them, but because one of them needs to attract the biter with a different food so they let go of the utensil.
They get teary and screechy when they’re not fed fast enough. Hesperus’ first word was “MO’!” (more) as he’s slamming his little fists on the feeding chair and puts a crack in it. Baal takes full advantage of the surprise and latches onto the spoon Beel almost drops. Another struggle ensues.
Between Day 3 and Day 4 they have the muscle strength and build to fully walk themselves. Half of the time they “skitter”. For some reason they don’t like walking upright.
Previously, you could only tell them apart with the brothers’ help (demons can differentiate demons). Now you and Beel have a color-coordinated system to tell the twins apart.
They seem to take after their Uncle Belphie and hide in unusual places. The only way you and Beel find them are by walking around the house and shaking various packages of food. You think this is a joint effort to eat more.
Baal says ‘thank you first’ and is the gentle teether. He likes to cuddle like that. Hesperus is an avid climber that prefers to latch
Half the time you don’t know if the twins are cuddling and scenting or play fighting. They’re more energetic than you expected.
Ironically, there favorite person is Mammon. He runs fast when Lucifer scares him and they like to chase him. When they want to sleep, they go to Uncle Belphie. He’s just not energetic enough to play with.
They’ll grab anyone’s leg and sit on them. They like to be carried like this.
Asmo only managed to get a blurry picture of it, but somehow the twins managed to get Lucifer to drag them around by sitting on his cape. It was very cute.
They’re pretty much Beel’s shadow. They like to follow him and he regularly uses them as extra weights in his routine. Sometimes they run around the yard together. Beel tries to teach them how to play Fangol but they end up trying to gnaw the ball to death and end up wrestling for it. “At least they’re active,” he mumbles as he picks you up to keep you out of harms way
They fall asleep in the grass, fangs still trying to dig into the ball.
Day 5 and 6 they become strong talkers and always insist on going long walks. They want to look at alll the stuff! They’re probably at the age of four or five (maybe six) and Beel deems them behaved enough to see some of his favorite restaurants in the Devildom.
You eat so much you think you’ll be sick. You have three boys who will gladly help you with the rest. They fight over an extra-hard crunchy baguette and don’t seem to have the concept of sharing at this point. They’re fussing and butting heads and Beel notices their horns are breaching.
You bag everything to go and Beel offers to fly you all home since you’re absolutely stuffed. He barely hears it, but a tiny little whine is trying to harmonize with his wings. One of them has grown wings (it was Baal).
That evening is spent with Beel and Belphie gently bumping them with their horns to coax them out.
You’re constantly portioning food and trying to make it fair. Beel is a good mediator. He won’t let his kids starve by any means but if they won’t share after he’s explained (and re-explained) why it’s nice to do so, he just eats the thing so they have nothing to fight over
They learn that lesson in the dead of night when they sneak down for their own raid and use each other (and the cabinets/drawers) like a jungle gym to get to the good stuff. Whatever they grab, they split. When Beel catches them, some kind of chocolate thing over his face, Baal looks unapologetic and Hesperus just asks if he wants a bite
Beel is not a disciplinarian. You will have to do that.
Overall the boys are very helpful. They will help bring in groceries and clean up the yard with their uncles. They really love doing the latter because the find all kinds of bugs. They try to give them to Mammon and Lucifer but both of them hate them. A lot.
Belphie notices them and pays them in food to put bugs in Lucifer’s office and bed. No regrets. Satan joins in on this with fancy foods from his foodie connections. They are the unofficial mascots of the Lucifer Sucks Club
Day 7 involves visiting some of Beel’s club activities and the members being absolutely in love with the kids. They get them tiny Fangol jerseys and they run around with the ball. It’s a good day with lots of cute pictures.
They try to hype of the twins and put them on their shoulders but it was here you learned Baal doesn’t like Hesperus getting too far from him and DEFINITELY doesn’t like him being around a bunch of strangers. You don’t know if he thought they were taking him away, but they definitely got dive-bombed by a tiny flying ginger.
Beel has to console him and keep them together for a few hours until he calms down. Simeon overheard the commotion (actually: heard it from Solomon, who was told by Asmo) and offered to make some Celestial Treats to “share the heritage” since Beel is technically an angel.
The twins also love Luke TO DEATH and he is extremely stressed out. They’re cute but very strong and accidentally kind of rough. They chase him too. They want to climb on him; one is enough to knock him off guard and two practically smother him. Send help.
Simeon is absolutely in love with them and the boys cuddle him and shake him down for sweets as nicely as they can.
Diavolo may not be as close to Beelzebub as he is Lucifer, but he still wants to see the children. Demon children are a beautiful thing (and he wants an excuse to get out of work)! On Day 8, Barbatos whips up a very fancy meal which the kids are all for. They like playing hide and seek with Diavolo. You and Lucifer both about shit a brick when they take to climbing on chandeliers and up into the crevices of the castle. Hesperus learned to fly that day, and refused to come down for Lucifer.
Day 9, Barbatos and Simeon invite them to a garden-style orchard to pick fruits and vegetables. They boys are covered in dirt and have leaves in their hair but they are very proud of what they picked and can’t wait to make things to eat (they look very cute in overalls).
Somewhere between Day 8 and 9 both boys have gotten into the habit of shucking off their shirts to let their wings stretch out. When they don’t feel like talking, they sound off with their wings. Beel has adopted this habit and can usually be seen shirtless or in one of those muscle tees with the holes in the side.
On Day 9 the boys decide they want to make a big buffet for the class since Beel took a lot of pictures. They know basic knife skills and have special protective gloves and things like that. Beel bought you all matching aprons. The whole thing goes relatively smoothly; you have a family tray ‘for sampling’, and a bigger portion that will be taken to the class
All bets are off when it comes to making desserts. It’s hard to get the batter into the pan before they’re trying to “lick the bowl clean” (it’s not even empty). You end up with two chocolate-smeared demons that Asmo very reluctantly lets into his bath. You help wash. Beel supervises and is prepared to catch these crafty, sweet gremlins in towels.
Day 10, you make your way to the classroom. The boys want to dig into the buffet (”But your friends are doing it!”) and they almost forget to do the report. They talk for a little bit, pause for a snack. It’s pure bribery. They are finished and rewarded with more food. Beel strings up all his photos at the front of the classroom as the boys sit in your lap and eat.
They make their way to the summoning circle and the teacher has a hard time determining their age. These two are built like brick houses. Are they in the upper percentile for everything or actually older? They’re either very tall eight-year-olds or the age limit goes above 10. Results are inconclusive.
You get a B that is argued to an A on Satan and Lucifer’s behalf. The teacher tried to argue that they were a little unruly and showed a lack of discipline but duh, they’re kids!
Hesperus growled something out in pure demon and you’re not sure what it was. Judging by Belphie and Satan’s expression, it’s probably something a parent wouldn’t want their kid to say. Who knows where they picked it up from?!
Baal just looked like he wanted to bite the guy’s nose off, and has taken a protective mantling stance on Beel’s shoulder.
You walk them to the summoning circle and the twins are just as sad as Beel. They want to stay. Baal is crying silently and can only manage to bring his horns out and bump heads. Hesperus makes you promise to cook lots of food ‘for when we come back’ and that he’ll even wash dishes if you promise.
You give them kisses and wipe Baal’s tears away, to which he gently teethes on you. Hesperus just hugs his brother from behind, the two disappearing in thick clouds of smoke.
The class goes on casually as people pick at food and gush about the twins. You stay behind with Beel to pack up the uneaten food. He’s very solemn as he’s taking all the photos off the board, handling them with care.
“So, uh...why the photos?” you’ve tied up the last bag and have it sitting on the big catering trays Simeon lent you.
“I didn’t want to forget them like I did Lilith...not that I ever really forgot her. Sometimes it’s just...hard to remember her clearly. You know, to remember everything from before. It happens when you’re over five thousand years old.” he’s trying to smile sweetly for you but you can see the pain in it, “I just wanted to keep them with me. I didn’t get that option with her.”
Ooh boy have the floodgates opened for both of you! You hold this big six-something demon boy like he’s one of your babies and he’s never been more grateful. He feels your tears in his hair and you both have a cathartic cry. There’s no where comfortable to snuggle so you opt to heal quietly at the House of Lamentation with some of the leftover food.
It’s a quiet affair, hiding in Beel’s room. You catch him constantly touching your stomach but don’t say anything. His hand is warm and large over your stomach. You’re on the edge of a food coma when you hear him mutter, “Maybe one day.” as he gives it a little pat.
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I saw your replies about not having a masterlist and checking the archive but that isn't really an option for those of us on mobile 😓
I mean, I can try to work on one but I just can't guarantee it'll work. I'm not even sure what happened the first few times. When I have a little more time off of school I'll look into making one.
Unfortunately, with me doing stuff for all the boys each time, it'll basically just be a link to all the pieces. People seldom request individual brothers so those will just be tacked on at the end.
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Lucifer’s Hands: Some Headcanons
I don’t know why this is bugging me right now but I have to get it out of my head.
I don’t know if body dysmorphia needs a trigger for anyone, but this is about Lucifer’s harsh criticism of himself and his body. Short-ish.
Lucifer is probably the most prone to body dysmorphia because he was the Morning Star. Highly revered and coveted, deadly and gorgeous. Powerful and beautiful. When he fell, that turned into pride.
He became the Avatar of Pride and MY GOODNESS can you imagine what this poor baby was going through ON TOP of trying to care for his six brothers who JUST lost their sister and had to cope with falling and being consumed/corrupted?! MY HEART!
He takes failure serious in all aspects and that includes himself. He needs to look good for himself because that feeds them. He does the best in school, he looks the best, etc.
What if he’s embarrassed about his hands and that’s why he wears gloves? Like, what if he threw some ‘fiery justice of heaven’ angel hands and got seriously fucked up?
Lucifer is a force of nature all his own and ANYONE with a brain would want to disarm him because that buys them time to take him on as a person without range/extra damage. I can see mages trying to charm any weapons he used (maybe a sword?) against him or trying to overheat it so he’s forced to drop it
I can see them calling on archers to shoot at him. Make those hands--anything--immobile, but Lucifer is not a man to be taken lightly. He would take all of those arrows and still give the finishing blow
I GUARANTEE YOU he would throw REAL HANDS over his family and he probably fucking did up in the Celestial Realm. Imagine a bare-handed Lucifer just beating ass. I’m sure it happened
Now imagine him falling with bloody knuckles, maybe a broken hand, and open wounds. Any angel blood in them (his or theirs) probably burned like hell during the fall because everything was being forcefully stripped away during the conversion
While supernatural healing factor (being half-angelic and half-demon now) and medicine helped him heal, his eyes can’t unsee the damage. He’s haunted by it.
Realistically, you’d have to struggle to see anything but in Lucifer’s mind it’s all clear as day. He doesn’t know how no one else sees what he sees, and he’s too proud to admit his struggle or what he’s thinking/feeling
I think he wears the gloves so he doesn’t have to look at the hands that failed. He doesn’t have to look at the hands that ripped his whole family apart. For him, his hands are not a thing of pride. They disgust them and he wants to hide them.
Perhaps a small part of him wants to preserve any beauty in them and he wears the gloves to keep them from getting worse. Paperwork, spells, and cleaning will do a number on them.
When he became half-demon that took away some of his softness so he has to work harder to keep them in an acceptable condition
Asmo best understands his body dysmorphia (they relate A LOT), which is why Asmo lets him paint his nails. Red isn’t just a color that was given to him, but because Asmo loves him. Red and pink are in the same family and red is a color of devotion and love.
He takes the gloves off at night and makes great effort with a hand routine
If he gives you his hands, his real hands, please hold them. Kiss them and worship them and be genuine with them. These hands have been through a lot and they just really need to be held.
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Demon Baby Headcanons: A Reference for “The Baby Assignment” Project
It made more sense to post my headcanons as a single thing since I’ll be working on “The Baby Assignment” headcanons in between the “Quick! Kiss Me!” miniseries.
These will be hinted at throughout “The Baby Assignment” pieces and I just wanted to put them all together. Keep in mind these are demon baby headcanons. I don’t really have any idea about angel baby headcanons since I’m card locked in chapter 21 :/
I think I got them all. I can’t really think right now.
Warning for one headcanon about human eating (obviously discouraged in the Devildom). I wanted to put in a section about how the Devildom handles bad parents (hint: logic first, then with justice) but I wasn’t vibing with it. Didn’t do it. No worries.
Demon children are usually born small but develop quickly until they stagnate around “teenage” years. Most babies (ironically) weight at least 6 pounds. It’s VERY rare to get a smaller baby and they must be taken care of EXTREMELY well
Their eyes will open within an hour or two of delivery and will be their lifelong color
Because they’re typically raised in the darkness of the Devildom and learn to flourish in the shadows, demon babies really struggle with exposure to light. It hurts their eyes and makes them cry. They should be shielded from light until they’re about a year old or show increased tolerance. Unless they need glasses or have a birth defect, most children appear to tolerate light with no problem between 4-6 years old.
Hybrid children are an exception (and hard to record for the census given how many subspecies of demon there are and all the magical co-mingling), but full-born demon children typically nest and seek out sources of heat to stay warm until they’re able to walk, talk, and do more for themselves. They tend to attach to the warmer parent.
Devildom childcare advocates recommend swaddling the child in parents’ clothes or clothes of relatives because it keeps them warm and orients their brain to who the main family members are. Pyjamas are a suitable exception but parents and close family should make an effort to show the child their scent
Demon children latch, and not just on their milk-producing parent. Within the first month of life the tiniest baby talons come out and allows the child to latch onto the clothes/skin of their caretakers. Full demon children latch and can maintain their grip/fully support themself in moments of stress, aggravation, fear, and in moments of cuddling. It is still recommended to support the child with an arm because they will get tired. Half-demon children should be supplemented with an arm or carrying device until the full extent of their latching ability is determined
Latching is also critical to scent development. It is an instinct of the child to tuck itself into or around those that will protect them. Unless absolutely sure of their safety, they tend to latch onto the stronger parent. When they feel safe, they usually latch to the other parent or try to make a nest with both
For babies who latch or show interest in latching, being semi-naked or completely naked is recommended. Their parents’ scent is stronger and seems to be preferred this way.
Devildom children don’t really crawl. The best way it can be described is “skitter”. You’ll hear their little claws go. Most parent describe their children moving in a lupine manner, on all fours. they like to stay low to the ground and move faster than human children.
There have been reports of children climbing up cabinets, walls, and onto structures like chandeliers and fans. This is part of their hunting instinct and preps their claws for the different things they will encounter/handle as an adult.
Most demon children develop their “Devildom” vocal chords first and will define parents/family by individual growls/shrieks. If other languages are not encouraged in the household, it is not unusual for a child to stay in this stage until two or three. They typically gain muscle control/development to speak real words by they end of their first year
Devildom babies aren’t as tactile as human babies but will definitely show preferences. It’s a lot easier to figure out what a Devildom baby hates. They’ll be quick to show you.
Devildom babies purr to show contentment and can start purring within 1-2 months of birth. This is one of the first signs of affection.
Other signs of affection include petting the parent or trying to get them in a state of skin-to-skin contact (see latching, above), snuggling, headbutting, showing nesting behaviors, and gently teething on them.
Full-blooded demon children can expect to cut fangs starting at the end of the first year. They will get their first full set of fangs near age two. For children who can only inherit one set of teeth, these fangs will be with them for life. They will naturally harden and lengthen to a full adult set as the body grows.
Mixed demon children are special cases where fangs are concerned because some species have extra sets of fangs, defense mechanisms where they lose and regrow teeth, and other things of that nature. For most species, teeth are seen in the first year of life.
Fangs typically look pointy and shark-like until they get a little older (somewhere between 3-6, it varies amongst children) and the teeth start to differentiate themselves in a “human-like” smile.
Children with fangs should have a greater variety in their diet for the sake of tooth shaping and development. Fangs need to be kept sharp. They can have slightly tougher food or snacks, and may display the “kill shake” when eating. This is normal. Supplement with teething toys as needed, but keep a close eye on them. It’s best to engage them a little like a tug of war to help develop the biting instinct and lengthening of the teeth.
Tails, like fangs, do not have set rules for growth or appearance. Some children of purer lineages get them as early as 3, and some get them as they move into the teenage years. There is no set age for tail development. If the child itches their back/bottom a lot, tends to streak, and shows general aggravation or discomfort, it’s best to take them to a health specialist to see if they’re developing a tail.
It is a similar scenario for wings. The child may cry or scratch a lot. Be prepared for biting and wrestling your children into shirts. Back rubs, cold creams, and soft textures are recommended. Though VERY RARE, some children can develop their wings within the first year of life. It is more normal to see them sprout between the ages of 3-5
Should the child develop wings young, they will take on a life of their own. They will twitch and flap at random times and this is normal. This is the child’s brain working wing movement into the subconscious, just as it would breathing. Devildom children who have wings go on to move them reflexively and this is how that starts.
Keep an eye on your child. They will try to hover and may be able to pull their body weight and travel short distances (about 30 seconds) within the first year of having them. Within two or three years they will have better altitude and some sense of guiding with a bit of a struggle. Prepare to be dive-bombed “accidentally” and for things to be broken in bad landings
There have been reports of full-blooded and half-blooded Devildom children gaining night vision. You can determine if your child has this by whether their eyes grow in the dark. Remember the rule of thumb: the older the demon lineage, the brighter their eyes. If obtained, this stays with them for life. The degree of clarity varies amongst children.
Children may develop horns. All horns start out as tiny velvet nubs once they break the surface of the scalp. Prior to breaking the surface, the child may scratch at their scalp excessively, rub their heads on things, or headbutt tougher surfaces to counteract the pressure and itchiness they feel. Scratching their head or brushing their hair may help but nothing can be done until the horns breach. If the horns do not breach, take them to a healthcare facility. They may need help.
Horns should be watched closely as they start to take shape. Some shapes need to be regularly broken or shaved to prevent the child from harming themselves
Children are driven to develop their horns and may try to shave off the velvet lining by rubbing against family members or hard surfaces. This is normal.
It is not uncommon for children to try to “lock horns” with each other when younger. This is another way to shave off the lining. Some studies indicate that this type of play may make them develop faster. If one of the parents have horns, it is encouraged to do this with great care
Although not scientifically proven, the vast majority of Devildom parents swear by rubbing horns to soothe tantrums and put children to sleep. Seems to work. Interestingly, this trait carries on to later stages of life but brings a greater variety of reactions.
It is not uncommon to see growth spurts and great deals of change between the first 7-13 years of life (7-13 by human standards). After this, the demon will stagnate. Their rate of development can vary but demons live for thousands of years so it takes a very long time for signs of aging to occur
Old records suggest that feasting on human souls or the blood of other magical creatures may accelerate this process but these records cannot be confirmed.
Certain activities, such as participating in a pact, are prohibited until the child is 1,800 or older. Their magical capacity is not there and they cannot legally be bound in a pact. If a sorcerer or sorceress is pushing for a pact or you believe a pact has been made in bad faith, a grievance can be filed with the magical review board. If the other party is found guilty, a piece of them may be taken for consumption for the sake of “fairness”. Repeat offenders will be handled by Lord Diavolo (and are usually eaten. This has been “tentatively” amended due to the effort to unite the three realms)
Children who come from very powerful lineages (for example: one of the Seven Lords) may exhibit that key sin trait from a very early age. Some children will be hungrier than others, some will want more attention than others, some will be far stronger and may accidentally break things. Be prepared and parent accordingly.
Those born to succubus/incubi/naga lineages may show signs of charming or hypnotism from the age of two or when they can form sentences. If a member of your family has a natural susceptibility to this, brush up on negating spells and personal reinforcement charms.
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The Baby Assignment [Lucifer]
I have a list of actual headcanons for demon baby behaviors, but this is not that post.
You and the boys have a baby! (sort of).
You should’ve never told Diavolo about how high schools used to have practice baby classes.
Note: most of the genders and children come from “The Bros as Dads” post.
Cut me some slack on the names. I didn’t really have them planned, haha.
Extremely skeptical. This whole assignment depends on you two standing in a summoning circle and--in a flash of light there’s a KID in the middle of the floor.
It’s a GIRL!
This triggers his demon form on reflex because he’s startled and can’t help but have flashbacks of Lilith. You’re cooing to the little girl and Lucifer feels breathless as he takes in her hair (it’s his) and those big eyes (they’re yours)
His wings flap a few times before pressing close to his body. This has caught the baby’s attention and she’s staring at him with more intelligence than a child should have.
The professor says the child will grow exponentially over the next week or so and she should be able to deliver a report on how competent you are as parents. Their developmental age will be assessed and factored in as part of the grade.
You walk carefully over to Lucifer, eyes shining and a tiny fist in your hand and oh Diavolo, he wants this child to be real right then and there!
The naming doesn’t happen until you’re back at the House of Lamentation with a massive magical trunk that will spawn child necessities. You sit in his study as the baby looks around and points to things. You name them off.
You’re in the middle of walking her over to look at his records and watching her slap things on the shelf, trying to feel them with her fingers, when he gets the idea to name her after one of the human composers he knows (”Marianna.”)
You honestly thought the addition of a literal child would throw Lucifer off but he’s prepared. It’s only then you realize he’s been alive for thousands of years and helped raise the other six people in the house
Enjoy your view of Lucifer wearing a baby sling for the first three days because unless you have a real kid together, this is the only time you’ll see it
The two of you work on a schedule and carve out time to teach the child on top of your other duties. Sometimes you’re hooked up to the sling, sometimes it’s him. He gets a kick out of seeing you tote the kid around and usually catches you tickling her feet.
Diavolo graciously lightens up on Lucifer’s paperwork load (BY A LOT!) in exchange for seeing the child and playing with them
Most of her facial expressions take after Lucifer’s and Diavolo is BEYOND amused
After day 3, Marianna gets distressed seeing Lucifer sit so long, so she’ll toddle you to Lucifer and just points until you do something about it
100% a daddy’s girl and Lucifer has a hard time keeping his pride in check. It’s coming off of him in waves
She says her first words between day 4 and day 5 and Lucifer wants to cry (he does) because the first one is “daddy”
From day 5 on it’s a constant fight to keep her close because the bros want to smother her for being so cute and are bugging her to say their names
Marianna is partial to Satan and Lucifer is secretly glad. Satan acts all smug about it.
She has Lucifer’s insistency for perfection. Mammon was messing with her tea party set up and she bit him for moving her plate in the wrong spot. That was day 6 and she had her pointy baby demon teeth. Marianna got a little whisper scolding that Mammon would’ve died for BECAUSE SHE GETS KISSES WHILE SHE’S GETTING SCOLDED? FOR REAL?! HE GETS STRUNG UPSIDE DOWN!
Marianna hates being fussed over and likes to dress herself. Whatever you or Lucifer fix, she undoes when your back is turned.
One of her favorite hobbies is sitting on Lucifer’s lap and practicing her handwriting. She also likes to brush his feathers. Marianna asks to sleep in them and will try to hide from you in them. The giggles give her away.
By day 7 she has the intelligence of (at least) a 6 year old and has velvety nubs for horns. You learned that demons like to rub their horns against hard surfaces (or loved ones) as scenting and for their growth.
She accidentally scratches you up, not quite understanding you’re human, and goes into an absolute meltdown. She didn’t mean to hurt you.
Goes into a freaking rage when anyone tries to fix you up. Wants to do it herself. This kid is a literal puddle of apologies, please hold her.
She cuddles you for the rest of that day and officially gets her own little desk beside Lucifer on day 8. Marianna pretends to write her own letters but mostly draws. Bugs Lucifer with the random stuff Satan and Levi teaches her but he doesn’t mind.
You’d bring them snacks every now and then and sometimes you’d hear them singing together (ever so quietly). You didn’t know Lucifer could sing.
Lucifer has woken up with a fist in his face, accidentally been punched in the eye, and has been kicked away at least once since she was big enough to sleep in the bed. She takes after Lucifer in the way that she needs you behind closed doors. Marianna doesn’t sleep unless she can feel both of you next to her.
Lucifer officially has bragging rights about sleeping with you (even if he won’t pull that). Secretly gets the best sleep of his life. Really starting to feel the parent thing. A kid with you would be nice.
Marianna gets little fluffs for wings on day 9 and they “air box” when she’s angry. She demands back scratches for how dry and itchy the feel and you figure out she purrs like Lucifer.
She doesn’t always prank Lucifer but when she does, she hides his pens and makes him play hide and seek with her to get them back
Marianna likes to help out in the kitchen and loves setting the table. She gets mad if anyone messes with the napkin folds you guys practice. She makes a tiny Lucifer screech when Asmo gets obnoxious with taking pictures for Devilgram and Mammon nearly breaks his chair trying to run out of it. She laughs like you.
Around day 10 she insists on a family day and Lucifer has this sinking feeling in his gut that she knows she won’t be around much longer. Maybe it’s a side effect of the spell. The two of you spend the day running around the Devildom taking lots of pictures. Diavolo crashes a few of those pictures.
She spends day 11 burning the midnight oil with Lucifer. Around 9 PM he’s trying to send her to bed. Marianna just drags a blanket back into his study and snuggles down. He notices all her old pictures and some new ones she’s drawn. “It’s my book,” she tells him.
“Yep.” she colors in the lines carefully, the finished pages pushed away and much better than her older ones. “It’s for you guys, for when I go away. And for your school.”
On day 12 you bring her back into the class, she’s dressed in similar colors to Lucifer. She wanted to look good for her presentation and she said ‘dad always looks nice’.
Marianna talks through her book, calling back memories of building blocks and playing hide and seek. She’s very proud of the pictures from two days ago. They’re her favorite. She shows off her horns and the “dad roar”.
You and Lucifer walk her to the circle. She stands in it as the spell determines her final age. She’s about 10, pushing the limits for growth as determined by the spell.
“I wasn’t here a long time, but I had fun.” she hands him the book and gives you a much longer hug than Lucifer. You wonder if it’s her way of apologizing for having a favorite even though she was good to both of you. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.” she looks up at Lucifer as she hugs him, her chin pressed into his stomach.
“Perhaps.” Lucifer takes on his demon form as the circle starts to glow, flapping one wing at her. She “air boxes” back before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
It’s a quiet, lonely silence. Very cold. There’s a subtle warmth in Lucifer’s embrace as he guides you back to your desk. It was brief, but you see why she likes his hugs.
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Poly Headcanons (Bros + Undateables) [Part 1]
I'm very tired (literally sat at my desk and studied all day). Went out into society once. Thought about this and wanted to get it out of my head.
These are random headcanons (NSFW + SFW) about various pairs/match-ups and how they interact with you. Please keep in mind that I am only on chapter 21 so I don't know anything in the game beyond that.
No Luke because Luke is a baby
Pairs in this part: Diavolo + Lucifer, Beel + Belphie, Satan + Levi
Future pairings under consideration: Solomon + Asmo, Mammon + Lucifer, Lucifer + Simeon (maybe), Simeon + Solomon (maybe), Barbatos + Solomon, Satan + Asmo, Levi + Asmo (biiiig maybe)
NOT SAFE FOR WORK. MINORS DNI. This is not a minor-friendly piece.
Lucifer + Diavolo (AKA: The Ultimate Sugar Daddy Pair)
I’m torn between saying both of them will be dominant in bed. I lowkey see Lucifer being (mostly) dominant and Diavolo being the fluffier one that ravages instead of dominates.
Diavolo doesn’t want to seem hard and dominant since he’s really playful and considerate at heart. He wants some levity and gentleness in the bedroom.
100% a voyeur. Loves to watch Lucifer dominate you. This strokes something deep--literally ancient, almost instinctual--in him and makes him give big, bassy purrs.
Humans are just so delicate and soft and there’s something delicious in the contrast of being at the mercy of a demon
Not super big into roleplay but agrees with Lucifer that the secretary/butler/maid angle has its appeal.
Diavolo is the king of aftercare, beats Lucifer to it, and often has gentle sex with you after Lucifer is finished. Gives lots of shoulder kisses.
On rare days they switch roles; sometimes Lucifer wants to be exhausted and let you dom him. Sometimes Diavolo has had a particularly stressful day and wants to exercise pent up feelings
Lucifer is big on fucking you against the wall or on other surfaces around the room.
Diavolo likes to put you in various presses/positions where you’re spread open and he watches your body take him
Diavolo is also the secret hoarder of anything that has your scent on it. It’s a nesting thing that his brain demands he do and he keeps trying to find places to hide bits of clothing. Barbatos usually finds them and cleans them. If Barbatos finds them, Diavolo is SUPER embarrassed and all of you have to accept that item is never coming back.
Lucifer prefers light bondage scenarios and Diavolo thinks you look very pretty wrapped up in silk
Both of them get hard pretty quickly if you address them by their title (lord, highness, etc.)
Lucifer is big on overstimulation but Diavolo is just as big on physical marking. Mostly a suckler and DEFINITELY a grabber.
Diavolo is most likely to try to have sex with you in a public or semi-public place and will DEFINITELY fondle you under the table and act like he’s doing nothing at all.
You will be spoiled rotten, fiercely protected, and have to plan out your rendezvous because it takes at least 3 days to recover
Diavolo is totally down for fooling around when he’s supposed to be getting dressed. Lucifer is quick to point out any flaws in his appearance once you two are finished.
If Lucifer is running late to a meeting because you two were fooling around, Diavolo gives him a pass but “wants to address this privately” with both of you at a later date
Diavolo has definitely convinced you to suck Lucifer off under the table just to see how the first-born reacts. It was quite amusing to him.
Beel + Belphie:
You were probably intimate with Beel first when he brought up that the perfect scenario would be living with you and Belphie. Sharing you with Belphie. You thought he meant in a cute way, like living with him. You didn’t know he meant like that.
For the longest time Belphie didn’t actually do anything. You thought he was giving Beel space. Neither of you knew he’d watch sometimes when you two were rolling around on the bed. He didn’t really mean to, but the smell of you ripped him out of a dead sleep
Beelzebub only realized Belphie might like you when the two started having ‘certain dreams’. Beel made him talk it out with you to make the dreams go away (boy was getting tired of rubbing one out every time the dreams happened).
When you were open to it, Beel wanted to buzz with joy.
Belphie mostly watches, touching himself and asking Beel to hold you certain ways. He likes to see you in very open, exposed positions.
Beelzebub subconsciously folds himself arounds you and tries to be as close as possible when having sex
When Beel undresses you, Belphie drags himself over to cuddle in what warmth you give. Sometimes he says it’s to keep you from getting cold. This is just his excuse to play with your nipples and trace along your skin as Beelzebub pays attention to the rest of you
Belphie’s favorite thing to do is keep you quiet (usually with lazy kisses) as Beelzebub sucks you off/eats you out
Belphie is DEFINITELY into weirder stuff than Beel. No one knows how he finds things to try. You and Beel think he gets pieces of Asmo’s memories or is more susceptible to Asmo’s dreams.
If female, Belphie’s goal is to make you squirt and when Beel sees it happen for the first time, his tongue gets super long and he whines like he’s starving. You get some demon noises.
Beel has a size kink and Belphie has a scenting kink. He wants you to rub your pretty self all over his favorite things.
Belphie wants you to suck hi off while Beel goes down on you. When this happens he doesn’t last long
Beel usually discourages Belphie’s dirty talk. Doesn’t want you to feel like an object. Sometimes it hits him right, but usually he spends any downtime making sure you know that he and Belphie love you
If Belphie wants to do any light choking, he has to do it when Beel isn’t in the room. Beel doesn’t like to see him do it.
Belphie has definitely spanked you with his tail and Beel is more than happy to massage the pain away (usually starts a round with Beel)
Beel needs to hear verbal confirmation from both of you before he lets Belphie put you to sleep and wake you up with sex. Consent is big for both of them.
You and Belphie cuddle together when Beel goes down for a midnight snack. By the time he gets back, Belphie’s usually rutting against you or has one hand in your underwear, the other over your mouth to keep you quiet. Beel is happy to clean you up.
Once Belphie gets your permission, he exploits the HELL out of giving you dirty dreams so you wake up needy. Sometimes you snuggle/rut against the brothers and sometimes you’re physically waking them up and begging for release. You curse Belphie and he finds it HILARIOUS.
Satan + Levi
A very unlikely pair. No one’s really sure how this happened. You think Levi went to Satan about a “hypothetical concerning a crush” and Satan figured out he was talking about you. Smarty Pants went straight to the source and asked if you liked one of them better (or if you would consider both of them). Problem solved
Both of them are shy once their walls are down (behind closed doors) but Satan has a smidge more confidence and tends to come off smug. In Levi’s brain that means confident
Satan comes around to the idea of roleplay. It was as easy as “they have cat cosplays.”
These nerds straight up pull out human anatomy books and ask you to lay down while the figure stuff out. Satan takes notes
Levi has a HOST of stuff he’s seen in anime and wants to know if it’s possible. He and Satan ponder this over books and the notebook of notes about you
Satan is like Solomon in the way that he would incorporate spells or potions in the bedroom. Some of Levi’s fantasies will definitely come true.
It took Levi FOREVER to work up the courage to do stuff with his tail and Satan was 100% for that. Never knew that would do it for him, but do it again.
Levi won’t admit to liking overstimulation (on himself and you receiving) but Satan will admit to a great love of overstimulating you
Both have a mutual love for thigh highs and Satan wants you to ride his thigh into oblivion. Levi likes to watch that
If you wear skirts, it’ll be a freaking race to see who’s hands are under there first. They both LOVE skirts.
Satan makes Levi more confident in the bedroom and every now and then Satan gets a glimpse of that unquestioned presence fit for a naval genius. It always shakes him because Levi spends so much time being an innocent, reclusive dork that he forgets Levi doesn’t fall far from the kinky dominating tree.
Levi is in charge of ordering the toys and always gets first dibs when using them on you. Satan watches.
Satan’s talent for setting up pranks can be applied to setting up some pretty kinky designs. Levi will watch that shit all day long
If Levi’s got you hooked up in one of those designs, Satan has the remote. He’ll try to read a book and chide you or change the settings if you get too loud. Or if he just wants to be a dick.
It’s a good thing Levi has so many pillows because Satan’s constantly edging you, teasing you and telling you to be quiet. Makes you bite the pillows.
Levi likes to see you get spanked. Appreciates any jiggle physics.
Sometimes Satan gets sappy and says something thoughtful and beautiful and Levi just goes “LOL, simp.”
Once finished, both of them will tangle their tails around you and try to pet you with them
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Quick! Kiss Me! [Part 3 - Mammon]
Same rules apply from Part 2: thoughts are italicized and bolded. May be slightly NSFW because the boys have a crush on you and such. If anyone has suggestions for Asmo’s part or Belphie’s, I’m down to hear it. I kind of have one for Belphie but I feel it’s a little cliché.
Also, I’ve logged back in and started playing Obey Me! since I have a three day weekend and the “Are You Kidding Me?!” event is making me want to write those baby headcanons. Might do that next.
You’d been following a buzzing, bubbling sensation around the house. It was enough to make your teeth rattle at points and you wondered if one of the brothers were using shadow magic to stay on the fringes of your vision (or just out of it). Sometimes it would feel like you were right on top of it, your whole body feeling like loose change in a can, and just as quickly it would stop. The cold wash of going the wrong way was a welcome reprieve.
Exhausted, feeling like you’d lapped the house several times, you dragged yourself back to your bedroom. It wasn’t very romantic but at this point you’d had it! The only thing your poor brain could think of was texting them one by one and just kissing them. If you were honest with yourself, you wouldn’t even need to text all seven. If you were really honest with yourself, you just wanted to text one of them.
And he was in your bed, cuddled into your pillows and half-wrapped in your sheets like he was supposed to be there.
Was he asleep?
You resisted the urge to stomp your foot or startle Mammon awake. His jacket was tossed haphazardly over your small desk chair but his sunglasses had been placed with care on your nightstand. Mammon? You placed on knee on the bed, planning to crawl towards him from the opposite corner. Mammon tended to wake up swinging and flailing; you remembered Belphie yanking him off of “his” spot on the couch but not before he’d fluffed his pillow and took a defensive stance.
Your little brain tap was enough to make him snort and stretch but not open his eyes. Tanned limbs dragged themselves across twisted sheets. He sounded like he’d mumbled something but you couldn’t be sure. You were sure he’d scooped up another pillow to stuff his face in and squeeze to death.
Was that a giggle? Mammon gave a contented little hum, snuggling his face into the new, cool pillow. Mammon! you tried again. It was weird to speak with your brain. Could you raise your voice just by thinking it? You froze in the middle of the bed, Mammon snapping up with a slow blink and a confused slur (and a huffy demon gurgle).
If he wasn’t hugging the pillow, he probably would’ve swung his arms out or fallen out the bed and taken half the sheets with him. Mammon blinked again, his white brows furrowing as he scanned the room. He leaned forward and you barely remembered how utterly blind he was as you watched the sleep lift from blue-yellow eyes.
“So who was the lucky—“ Mammon started off in his fake ‘I’m not interested’ tone but the words died out before he could make them any more indifferent. “Your lips are still sealed shut.” he lurched forward, your noses practically touching. “Your lips are still sealed shut!” he whispered again breathlessly, the quickness of his words matching the excited pulse in his throat.
Mammon’s heart squeezed in his chest. His mouth dried and suddenly he couldn’t think of anything to say. This wasn’t how he thought your first kiss would be but Diavolo be damned if he’d turn it down! The demon could barely filter his desire for you, trying to keep the YES! GIMME! KISS ME, KISS ME! in his head and out of yours. His face started to heat up when the pact mark on your shoulder glowed a soft golden color, painting both of your faces in a candlelight-like glow.
The tiniest part of his awed brain could feel his mouth slipping open in shock. You were a vision with golden highlights. Golden highlights from his pact mark! It made him want to take you on a fancy restaurant date and see it again.
Mammon? you were waiting on him now, ever so careful. So considerate. That’s what he loved about you. You put up with a lot of his walls and his loud behavior but deep down you knew. He knew you knew, and he was glad you kept his secret.
The people who made the loudest echoes were often the most fragile. He was a giving heart that had been corrupted against his will, and he had not totally hardened with the fall. You saw those scars and chips and cracks and somehow healed all of it with your human hands. With your smile. Your touch.
Hell, you just saying his name could wipe centuries of suffering from his mind.
“Was I your first choice?” Mammon’s voice turned raspy and tight. He couldn’t bear to hear you say you’d gone to one of the others first. He’d seen you going from room to room, slinking around the house in a way only the second-eldest could master. Years of trying to slip out past curfew and make off with a few odds and ends no one would miss without getting caught had its perks. Watching you touch doors and turn halls gutted him and drove him to seek refuge in your room.
He’d consoled himself amongst your pillows—your scent—and tried not to cry. Even if you didn’t choose him, he’d still have you as a friend. Maybe an in-law. That didn’t stop the cold twisting in his guts or the burning anguish in his chest as he realized over and over that he was one of seven. The other six were better than him, he feared. He was just scummy, scummy Mammon.
You don’t think you are? You tilted your head as you looked at him, hands coming up to comb gently through his hair and massage the bottom of his ears. Your hands smoothed down his neck, drawing him into a hug that was just…very you. Comforting and genuine and wholesome. He felt it first physically, then emotionally as your pact mark burned a little brighter.
You dummy, it was so light, so teasing and gentle that Mammon couldn’t help but smile as you cupped his face and brought his lips up to yours. “Of course you’re my first choice. You’re my first man, aren’t you?”
Mammon realized you said that with your mouth--your open mouth—and he exploded into a rolling yayayayaya victory warble. His eyes were a molten yellow, almost as bright as Diavolo’s (maybe brighter). Tears beaded in his eyes and Mammon blinked them away, stuffing his face into your neck as he tackled you to the bed. A burst of heat rolled over you as his horns came out a hot skin touched yours, the demon greedily snuggling into like he’d finally found his home.
He was scenting you with all his snuggling and ‘settling’ but you didn’t mind, patting his back and running your fingertips across the seams in his black jacket. In all his ‘settling’ you’d been turned onto your side and scooped up by him. Mammon locked his arms around you, feet tangling with yours. He’d tucked you under his chin to keep you away from his horns. “I can’t believe you took so long!” he whined, fingers playing with your hair, “making me wait like that! I’m a busy guy, you know?”
“I can take your place if you’re so busy!” you saw a hint of Asmo in the doorway and probably Levi behind him before Mammon’s wing blocked your view. They’d been called by the noise Mammon made earlier.
“Get lost, the lot of ya!” Mammon flapped his free wing at them. He hugged you closer and you briefly wondered if this what a dragon did with their hoard. You laughed at the thought. “This is my human! And my human is spending time with their first man!” he’d made a little tent out of his wing, peeking down at you with pride and love and a little hesitancy that begged you to back him up because his embarrassment was outweighing his ability to run his smart mouth.
You responded by kissing his chest, little kitten kisses that climbed his throat and jaw and could definitely be heard with demon ears. Popping out from just under his wing, you pecked his lips. His nose just to catch him off guard. “It’s very personal time.” you teased, rubbing his shoulders as his wing unfolded to show you off, sitting happily atop your man.
There were scowls and little demon grumbles you’d never be able to understand, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t even hear them over the sound of Mammon’s purr.
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