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sassystrawberryninja · 5 years

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I have to say... I love The Song of Achilles as a FanFiction in book-format, but I have to agree with that post because it’s just fucking true!? Nothing more to add to this.

Some things need to be said (Part 2)

2nd. About Achilles and Patroclus, bi-erasure and YES, I’M TALKING ABOUT THE SONG OF ACHILLES.

Okay, I have just read a post saying The Song of Achilles is the best adaptation because it portrays the real personality of Achilles AND I’M SO FUCKING MAD. I have so many problems with that book, mainly about it’s treatment of Thetis, of Briseis, of Achilles and of Patroclus, which is just maddening. Of course, I’m not hating on the readers, everyone is free to like whatever they read. But, please, don’t take it as exactly what happens in the Iliad.

Let’s be fair. Were Achilles and Patroclus lovers? Yes, of course they were. And it’s a shame most movies ignore the fact that he loved men too only because of homophobia. But, was Achilles gay? NO. NOT AT ALL. First of all, because Greek conceptions of sexuality were very different from us and the idea of a man only feeling attracted to a gender was not something very common. In fact, most heroes (Hercules, Achilles, and, yes, most buddies from the Iliad, including Agamemnon) had sex with both men and women. Second, because if we tried to adapt him to modern concepts of sexuality, he is bi. He is totally bisexual. HE IS A CHAOTIC BISEXUAL. He had love stories as chaotic as his personality with Deidamia, Penthesilea, Polyxena and Briseis, all women, but also with Patroclus and Antilochus, which were men. If you ask me, he also had a huge amount of sexual tension with Hector, but that’s not important.

This brings me to the next question. Was Achilles loyal to Patroclus? Nop. Not at all. And I don’t think Patroclus was very concerned by this either. Briseis herself says in the Iliad that Patroclus promised her to convince Achilles to marry her and quit having a slave status. Because, oh, yeah, Briseis was a slave, she had three brothers who were killed in the sack of Lynerssus lead by Achilles and she was made a concubine, a sex slave.

Let’s all say it together. Probably all men in the Iliad were rapists since it was custom for greek soldiers to take women as slaves in wars. It wasn’t portrayed as bad or something horrible by Homer, neither as good or something worth of praise, just as a NORMAL THING. Just so you know, in Song of Achilles, he is super good with his slaves and never has sex with them because of his love with Patroclus. Which did not happen AT ALL. And I think it was here when I truly began to hate the book. Because undermining women suffering just to make a man more likable happens too much in real life, I don’t need it in fiction.

I’m not saying Achilles is evil. But he isn’t exactly a hero in shinning armour. He is a fucking pain in the ass most times. He is arrogant, has NO FUCKING CHILL AT ALL and only feels things IN THE EXTREME. He doesn’t simply feel angry, he kills every Trojan he sees claiming for Hector to fight him, fills rivers with corpses and drags his nemesis body around a city for days. He is not just sad, he covers his hair in sand, refuses to eat and tries to throws himself to sword to die. He is a very tragic hero, with his huge amount of shortcomings but also a terrible fate he doesn’t know how to deal with. He is not a villain.

AND NEITHER IS THETIS. C'MON, THIS WAS JUST OFFENSIVE. She was not a bad mother, she did everything she would to save her son, making every part of his body invulnerable by dipping him in the River Styx (except for, you know, the heel). Also, what the hell, she didn’t try to get between Achilles and Patroclus, in fact nobody did! Nobody refused to bury Patroclus, they all loved him and praised him as a good soldier. Because, hell yeah, Patroclus was a soldier, not a doctor, and he was a prince, not a commoner. And he wasn’t deemed as unuseful in battle, HE KILLED MUCH MORE PEOPLE THAN MENELAUS OR ODYSSEUS EVER DID. There’s no need to create a power imbalance between Achilles and Patroclus!. And there’s no fucking need for another “us against the world” story! In fact, why would you do it, when it’s much more beautiful to have two men loving each other and the rest of their buddies totally approving as it should be?

And, just to end, why nobody mentions Achilles incredible speed? Speed is fucking cool, don’t ignore this greek Flash.

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sassystrawberryninja · 7 years

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Quotes from PurCon 3

Another convention, another quote compilation. (Most of them were written down by yours truly but I couldn’t have done it without these people who live tweeted some of the things the cast said: xFrancy002, hollowcas, Catt_Mohen, odetolizzy, KirschKid, KeptinOnZeBridg, kellysparrow, mishainmydreams and _pigglywiggly.

Opening panel Rich: I’ve never heard the German language sound so pervy when you say it. Sebastian (in a pervy voice): Oh yes, we’re gonna have fun together.

Gil and Sebastian Sebastian (to us): How are you? Us: Woooo! Sebastian (to Gil): How are you? Gil: I’m scared.

Sebastian (sees people leave for Briana and Kim’s photo op): Aaah! Schweinhund! Arschloch!

Sebastian: Did you see The Man in the High Castle? Did you like my German accent? (There are some people who react somewhat negatively.) You are scheisse!

Sebastian (is going through the rows): She just said, (in an awestruck voice) “Oh my god, he touched me.”

Sebastian (from the other end of the panel room): Hello front row! (Front rows wave back.) Fuck you!

Sebastian (talking about Jensen): Everybody gets pregnant in five seconds. (in a high-pitched voice) Oh, my vagina!

Gil: We were working on that scene and Jared and Jensen were doing research on the computer and they turned it around [so I could see the screen] and there was this giant picture of a naked man.

Sebastian (about touching Gil’s arm): I touched it. I felt it. It was good.

Kim and Briana Briana: I would love to play Crowley. Well, not anymore.

Matt and Ruth Ruth (talking about the most difficult scene she’s had to do, in a very soft voice): That’s when she tells him– (sees people coming back from a photo op, now dead in the eye) you’re late.

Ruth (talking about Jensen): It’s like looking into the sun.

Rich and Rob Rich: Cookie Ashley [Chuchichästli].

Fan: You’re my favourite actor ever. Rich: That woman knows quality.

Rich: I hope you’re happy now, Rob. You made her cry.

Rob: Let me talk about Gabriel as a son. (…) And Michael, of course, my good son.

Rob (watching people leave): They’re really upset about this, Rich.

Rob and Rich: What, there is a guy! (start singing) A guy in the room, a person with a penis (…)!

Rich: You know, I think it would be an ice musical. (People start leaving for Sebastian’s photo op.) Oh Jesus, it wouldn’t be an ice musical! (There’s some babbling, then) GOD DAMMIT!

Fan: If you could be God and Gabriel for one night what would you do? There’s a long silence. Rich (bewildered): We are God and Gabriel.

Rich: We all want to ride Sam.

Rich: If you wanna imitate Sebastian–that’s really easy. Find a stationary object and hump it.

Raffle with Kim Kim: Monika, I hope this sells for a lot on ebay for you.

Auction with Gil and Sebastian Seb (talking about Rob’s banner): You can sleep with Rob!

Two women have been trying to outbid each other for some minutes now. Ruth: Maybe they should just wrestle for it.

Matt has put on Rich’s shirt as pants. Matt: There’s usually just one dick in there. (…) Fifty euros for my two dick shirt!

Sebastian said, “Gil read the book on the loo” and there are only two bidders left. Sebastian: It’s gonna be a battle of wills. A battle of the toilets. (silence, then) Think of the toilet!

Sebastian: 250 over there in Antarctica! (He means the far end of the panel room.) It must be very cold there. Your nipples must be hard.

The Antarctica bidder just lost. Sebastian (to the bidder): And your nipples were hard but not hard enough.

Sebastian (talking about Matt’s banner): Holy shit, I wanna fuck him. I mean, who doesn’t. (…) Meine Vagina is on fire!

Sebastian (talking about Matt): He looks like he was built by a toy company. Or a sex shop.

Sebastian: You saved a lot of dogs, cats and rats today … Rats are nice people, too!

Gil and Sebastian Gil: Jensen told me to say yes when they’d call me. He said, they’d call to ask me about doing conventions and I should just say yes. And I wasn’t even sure they’d call because the episode I was on hadn’t even aired yet. But he just said, “Don’t worry, you’re a Winchester.”

Gil: Being on Supernatural was amazing but the conventions are honestly the best part.

Sebastian: Balthazar would come back as Castiel’s lover. And–wait for it–Castiel would be bottom. Gil: Obviously.

Sebastian (talking about Balthazar/Castiel fanfiction): You know, when [Misha] and I fake kissed … The nipples got very hard very quickly.

Sebastian: Oh I remember her! She was the funny-feisty one yesterday! Fan: Thank you, I guess.

Sebastian makes a sexual reference after a fan asked a question. Gil: She just told you she was a minor! Sebastian: Oh, a minor! I thought she said she worked in a coal mine!

Sebastian: Entschuldigung für mein Vulgaritat!

Gil: Do you wanna go to Mars? Sebastian: Who the fuck would wanna go to Mars?! (…) Your balls would freeze in an instant!

Sebastian (points at upper body): I’m half Scottish, (points at loins) half French.

Sebastian: My mum was born in 1939 and she looks great. Fan (from the audience): My mum too! Sebastian: Oh, your father too!

Sebastian (to a fan): Do you understand everything? Gil: Unfortunately.

Sebastian: I am wearing special underwear for old people. So you know, when I say, I’m just shitting, I really mean it. And of course, Gil is cracking up in the background.

Gil: I’m gonna dream about this panel on my flight back to America. Sebastian: Dream or nightmare?

Gil asked people whether they’ve ever been to Texas and somebody told them they’ve been to El Paso. Gil: El Paso? You think it was nice? Oh that’s sweet. Nobody ever says that about El Paso!

Kim, Briana and Ruth Kim: The good thing about sitting on the floor is … you can’t fall off it.

Ruth: Wait, so there’s porn and then there’s trash porn?! (…) I’m so confused by that trash porn.

Kim: It’s so funny you think that the boys are the dirty ones on Supernatural.

Kim: I ship Jody with literally everybody.

Kim (about women and representation): Fuck, we don’t matter!

Ruth: My heaven looks like hell. (…) I’d be sitting on a red sofa and throw Lindt chocolate papers at a naked Mark Pellegrino.

Kim: If my happiness depends on what other people think about me, I’m fucked.

Kim: I wanted to be a boss. It didn’t really matter of what. I just wanted to be the boss.

Kim: I wanted to become an English teacher but you have to be outgoing and entertaining so I took acting classes in college when I was nineteen aaand I still haven’t become an English teacher.

Fan: How would alternate universe Rowena be like? Ruth: Ich kann jetzt nicht darüber sprechen, es ist viel zu schmerzhaft.

Kim: It breaks my heart that I live in a world where people can’t be who they truly are.

Matt, Richard and Rob Apparently, the guys are having problems pronouncing the word “nephilim” so they decided to say “heffalump” instead. Rich: Jesus is a heffalump.

Fan: Why do your characters always die? Rich: Because contrary to popular belief you can have too much Dick in your life.

Rich (talking about Sabriel): Let the fans do what the fans wanna do. Rob: Why am I not in on this? Rich: You do know I’m your son?

Fan: What happened to your French twitter account, Rich? Rich: Who? Oh, that’s not me, he just looks like me! But he will probably tweet later today because he just remembered he had that account.

Rob: There you got it. God has spoken.

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