str8uprelapsingagain

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Update: Decided to “recover” in November

Got off social media, ate like shit for 2 months, cried to my therapist about my depressing life, found out my father is dying

Gained 10 lbs

Realized I have a beach vacation in one month and look like I’m fucking pregnant

Now feel more isolated and out of control than ever

Decided to go back to st*rving myself again

Day fucking two

I don’t trust myself anymore. I don’t feel an*rexic anymore. I’m fat and disgusting. How the fuck am I going to be in a bikini in front of my friends? I was supposed to be small by now. I just keep fucking it up. I’m so tired of fucking it up. Please let me just do it right this time

#tw ana mention #tw ana vent #it's not as simple as just eating #tw ana meme #trigger warning ed #ed tag #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #tw eating disorder mention #@na

[str8uprelapsingagain]

You know what REALLLY sucks?

Losing weight that you’ve lost before. It’s all well and good when you’re getting to a new LW. But when you’ve already done this all before it feels so much more miserable

#tw ana vent #ed rant #ed tag #ed trigger #tw ana mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #tw ana meme #eating disoder mention #cw disordered eating #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

I’ll recover when I’m under 18.0 ☺️

#ed tag #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #it's not as simple as just eating #ed trigger #trigger warning ed #tw ana meme #eating disoder mention #not pro #cw disordered eating

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Welp

#ed tag #ed trigger #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #tw ana meme #getting skiny #eating disoder mention #not pro #cw disordered eating #low cal ana

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Why do I feel mentally healthier when I’m st*rving? Like i just feel more put together and like I’m accomplishing more and doing better at work

I feel way more in control. I feel like it should be the opposite…

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

I used to love cooking and baking

Now I can’t even cook for someone else without contemplating the calories in every gram of butter :/ Hell, I can’t even watch a YouTube video of people baking without being distracted by every calorie and macro. Fuck this disease.

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

So like I’ve barely restricted all month. My life has just been a shitshow and I decided to just wait until Halloween was over to go back under 500

I’m completely starting over today with a week long fast and my body isn’t used to this anymore. I’ve only been fasting for like 20 hours and I’m nauseous and dizzy and tired… I used to go days before feeling this way.

Fuck, I need some motivation. This week is gonna suck

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Idk why I even search for ed tags, tiktok is honestly so triggering without even trying

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

✨just mental illness things✨

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Only on hour 40 of my fast and honestly nooottt feeling greeeaaat 😬

I have a soccer game tonight too which is probably not going to go well… nothing Monster Ultra can’t fix, right? I just gotta power through till Friday

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Bon appetit 👨🏻‍🍳

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #notprojustusehashtags #ed trigger #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

🙃

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

I don’t purge often, but when I do it’s usually salad for some reason lmao

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

#ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Hey everyone! I’m back from my week of essentially binging. Get ready for a rant 😋

Just a recap: I st*rved myself for 90 hours, got to a new LW, attended a wedding, and then threw that all out the window and ate like a maniac all week.

Now I’m up a cool 7 lbs from my LW and everything hurts! My bank account is also empty so I’m just gonna go ahead and st*rve again for the week so I can continue this viscous cycle forever and stew in my own misery!

See you there besties 🥰

#I heard there’s mercury in Gatorade #ed tag #disordered eating tw #ed trigger #notprojustusehashtags #tw ana mention #tw ana vent #tw eating mention #tw ed mention #it's not as simple as just eating #trigger warning ed #not pro #ed rant

[str8uprelapsingagain]

Coughing wine into a napkin and feeling like a tuberculosis patient in the 19th century