#^ just in case someone doesnt wanna see this

[queen0fm0nsterz]

A few days ago I went to visit my grandpa, as I haven't seen him in a few months.

He's on his death bed; his time is fast approaching. I saw it in his eyes. They looked glassy.

My father warned me that it wouldn't have been pretty to see him like that. I wasn't expecting it to be. He's been sick a while and my dad has been taking care of him almost entirely by himself, so I knew it wasn't gonna be nice. Though I'll say, seeing my boisterous, larger-than-life grandfather reduced to the shadow of a man left a bitter taste in my mouth - and tears in my eyes. Still I did not cry. I didn't want grandpa to see me, just in case. I realized that he wouldn't have been able to see me anyway: he looked almost lost in thought. Completely out of it. All he could do was hold his face in his hands, too weak to even roll over.

He didn't respond to my dad when he called for him, nor did he acknowledge my presence initially. My dad glossed over it. Apparently he's not been able to recognise my dad for a few days now. Still, I could have sworn I heard my grandpa mutter his name a few times.

After a while, something happened. Grandpa took his hands off his face and glanced around. Then he looked at me. I cocked my head to the side and said hi. His eyes went wide when I smiled at him. He smiled back. Half hearted, strained, but it was there, and I was so relieved. My dad was wrong; he recognised me. He knew I was there and that I came to say goodbye. I extended my hand towards his own over the bed. He was far away, I thought had to lean in, but I didn't need to. He reached out first. His hand was shaking, purplish in color, but it held mine like it was his last lifeline.

For some reason, this reminded me of something. From times when grandpa wasn't sick, and I heard him talking to my dad over the phone. My dad is a 60 year old man: and still, before hanging up, my grandpa always told him, "A dopo amore." ("Later love"; in Italy, parents oftenly refer to their children as "love"). Because he's still his father's love, even at 60 years old. Me and my sister were also given the same nickname by grandpa, and even as he was fading away, I was still his "love". I felt it in the way he held my hand.

That's how I wanna remember him. So I won't be going to see him again, nor will I look back. I left him with that.

A dopo, amore.

#carols.txt #not sure why i decided to write this all out #i've been emotional about it. i wanted to draw a comic to explain these emotions i've been feeling #the grief im experiencing #this is ok to reblog/comment btw I dont mind #maybe this is my way of grieving #grandpa is 90 years old he lived a long fulfilling life #and though im sad to see him go i am glad i could meet him ultimately #im 20 years old after all #lots of people my age dont get the privilege of having their grandpas alive #tw death #tw grief #^ just in case someone doesnt wanna see this

[cathalbravecog]

letting the days go by

(got a feeling someone defo already drew this so i chose a different pose ref to the mv lol.)

#lowkey wanna try and draw this Beast daily before april but that might kill me so we will see #i thought of making them all music video related but then i learn i dont #watch music videos a lot i dont care abt em typically. and im finding it hard to insert hr into g/orillaz (to avoid maintagging) bc that wa #one of my og fixations el oh el #doesnt fit hr a 100% but fun song to reference bc I Just Like It and also Ha Ha I Am An E/NA Fan #giggle #ttcc #toontown corporate clash #high roller #guz art #also i do have a fr feeling someone drew this before but idk if im like #making up a post or if someone really did it i have like #the worst memory ever and had cases i accidentally made up posts in my mind that dont exist that end up confusing me SO

[heirtotheempire]

The Bad Batch season 3 has been interesting thus far. I really liked episodes 1-7 and I've nothing particularly bad to say about any of those episodes. But honestly episode 8, and after today, episode 9, it's once again gotten to be a bit of a pain to get through. Maybe I'm just too much of a Crosshair guy, idk. Today's episode especially irked me but last time I discussed the topics it delves into I got some pissy people in my notes and I'd rather avoid that this time around.

#star wars #star wars the bad batch #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #(not really spoilers but just in case yaknow) #to be as non-spoilery as possible: #midichlorian discourse is a beast and talking to most people about it is about as fun as pulling teeth #finding someone with nuanced takes about it is incredibly difficult #by the way. this post is not an invitation for people to run into my notes and whine #which was a problem i had when posting about s2 #fun concept: me having an opinion doesnt mean you have to agree or try to convince me otherwise #sorry if im sounding aggressive in these tags or am being way more weird about this then i should be #i did Not have a good time trying to talk about tbb s2 and the ahsoka show on here and it kinda... #made it less fun to post my thoughts. bc felt like everything i said was being taken in the worst way possible #thus im not posting much about tbb s3 and when i do im gonna cover my ass with lengthy tags like this #also im autistic and i feel the need to explain everything i do. so here we are. sorry to the 3 people who will ever see this #regardless its my blog and if i wanna rant in the tags then dammit. i will

[carpathiians]

ok this might be a crazy thing to say but if we pretend joviers real for a minute do you think after ch6 javier ever remembered how ttheyd sleep in eachothers arms as he was trying to fall asleep all alone and just fucking broke down becauskdmmkdkmmdkjdkdkndm *gets dragged away from the keyboard forcefully*

#posting one of my more embarrassing thoughts #as an experiment #sorry sorey for being insane #anyway i need to know everything that happened with javier between the two games just in general i need to see him in distress #also i guess this whole thing depends on if you think theyd hold eachother like that or if theyre too awkward or whatever #i can imagine it being either way theres a lot of things that could change how their relationship works #to me anyway #but maybe that just means i dont know them idk man #generally tho i dont think itd be a regular thing. but maybe sometimes? #carpathians.txt #<- feel like maybe i should tag this in case someone doesnt wanna see this stuff #bc i might textpost more in the future if i get over the embarrassment. or.something

[majicart26]

-mor mandela fellas-

Bunch of old DTIYS I participated in last year on instagram (my artstyle has changed quite a bit…)

Jus wanted to compile it into a post!

LIST:

@/bluez.revelol’s DTIYS (#reveloldtiys)

@/minteey_mint’s DTIYS (#minteeysbpsdtiys)

@/toast_not_here.exe 300+ DTIYS (#thetoast300dtiys)

[under cut]

@/polybiuses_ 400+ DTIYS (#polybius400)

(mark w/ blood vers. + another dtiys undah cut in case of tw)

#dtiys entry #instagram #old artstyle jumpscare #the mandela catalogue #tmc #mark heathcliff #sarah heathcliff #cesar torres #adam murray #jonah marshall #mandela catalogue oc #majicart🧀 #removed one image in case the artist doesnt want to see reposted art #it was an art collab with a charcter drawn by someone else #ik it contains my art but just wanna be safe ok #procreate art

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.

#hc; kaeya #//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this #//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people #//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate #//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure #//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like #//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far #//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too #//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact #//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably #//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward #//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers #//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is #to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows #//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait #//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like #a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him #could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing #//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings #//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to #//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could #//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church #//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There #//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes #//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf #//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha #//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie??? #//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what #//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER #//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive

[darabeatha]

Where do I sign for dynamics where your muse has a crush on mine and/or my muses developing these silly crushes o r obsessions towards other characters-

#;ooc #ooc #sorry its my sin i love when characters react completely differently from how they usually present themsves #the moment their crush just 🌻exists🌻 #LISTENNN! I will not deny it i love romance and romantic ships! fluffy things silly things #so in the case that we could write a silly dynamic like this; would u guys want it? #i also want my muses to have someone crush on -them- also go melting puddle when they see them #listen i think that trope on shojo manga is so cute #i know i would be the biggest arjuna suporter but if he stared at me i would explode #ooouuuu im sleepy #apologies if none of this makes sense #basically what imsaying is; i wanna have my muses have crushes (doesnt have to be reciprocated) and other characters to crush on mine #(also doesnt hace to be reciprocated) it can be something from the distance! ormake itmore emotionally despairing;; the yearning #but of course these are only some silly dynamics and #and of course chemistry also plays a big role if at the end u want the characters together indeed #;dl #;delete later #aka i want my muses to be the romanced ones simply bc im curious how it is ln the other side #i want them to be rizzed and get blushy or tell u they hate u LTKRDÑLTMDK #but also if u guys would be ok with silly random crushes for the giggles #my muse is absolutely stunned over urs and now what !!

[theklaapologist-gaitanosversion]

i hope john winchester dies a fucking brutal violent death and dean and sam fuck over his dead body

#ο θεός μίλησε #theklanatural #i hate this guy so fucking much omfg hes so annoying #lannister that shit honestly #wincest #tagging this just in case someone has it blacklisted and doesnt wanna see this

[bangcakes]

.

#lmao every other week i talk myself out of this crush or whatever is going on with me n this guy #bc i just !!!! dont wanna get hurt #and im worried i may have ruined it (tho everyone says i havent) #i just..... i dont wanna get hurt 😭😭😭 #like.... god what if its all in my head??????? like i dont think it 100% is but im still like #idk it seems Impossible that someone would like me back #like..... idk the idea that i could be with someone im attracted to n like a lot could like me back.... it just... it doesnt seem plausible #like...... idk. this stuff doesnt usually work out for me. and thisll probably go nowhere #so ive decided to just..... go with whatever happebs #and if thats nothing then.... i guess thats fine #bc now ik what its like to truly like somebody...... ya #gonna focus on school..... graduating like super soon LOL #personal #im also just upset bc i might not see him this week. but that was also the case potentially last week.... #and ended up seeing him and even goin to dinner with him n a few of our mutual friends so..... #never know what the future holds. i just..... ya.... #i want it to work out but also like..... me being in a relationship seems impossible #like i didnt even wanna be in one but then he comes in my life n im like oh actually marriage is on the table NDJDJDJNFNFNNFNF

[goji-pilled]

Being the oldest is suffering

#felix does art #domestic witches #yes there is more to that canvas #but again youre missing context #and i dont wanna share the other part since its more of a 'ehhhhh lets see if i feel like adding this properly' #well either that or its another one like alice that exists mostly because i just wanted to draw someone new #regardless if they actually play a proper role #(she doesnt but i still wanted to draw her just because) #and this case is similiar to that as if now

[guideaus]

king of upsetting people while chuckling about it

#personal #hgsn spoilers #fucking w a memorial and making a ghost work for him now decapitating a poor hikaru and traumatizing his best friend #like when u choose fucked up choices in video games that technically arent bad in the long run but everyone hated it #wtf's in his pants btw. #anyways the cliffhanger was so good. what happens if hikaru's decapitated? he just nerfed himself too to be unable to kill a human #(in this case defend himself from either adult). i made a post before abt how he didnt really have a reason to resort to murder upon someon #inquiring abt his identity. while this guy doesnt even asks and straight up goes for the kill and succeeds. how will he react to #a stranger apparently investigating him and no questions killing him. and yoshiki knowing him (while unlike w ms ghostbuster before this #guy's clearly casually hostile) #a reaaaal good cliffhanger. so fun #theres no way 'hikaru's gonna stay dead here but i wanna see what'll happen!!!!

[verm1c1de]

GRAHHHGHGHHGHFRRGRRR sorry this is a purrsonal complaint post but like i understand people who think zim is like 30 like whatefur thats fine but what i DONT get is people who then go and ship him with PROFFY M who thought he was a CHILD HIS SONS AGE ((even if mew dont think he is)) GRAHHRRRRR

#this doesnt go in the tags im not one of those fureaks who puts ship hate in the tags =_= #uhh #ship hate #there we go #just in case someone doesnt wanna see it anyways #vermi.txt

[4giorno]

.......>:(

#IT DID NOT KEEP GOING WELL #im so pissed lmao. what a needless plot point to happen #ugh i dont wanna be specific in case someone doesnt want spoilers and happens to see this #but like this is why i hate plot 'twists' like this it just feels so????? like unnecessary #like what did this achieve for the story? idk just my opinion #maybe it wouldnt feel so cheap if i knew who tf that was but anyway

[cutemeat]

Glenn would appreciate your theories me thinks because when he said dennis was actually rehearsing and was just mad that mac saw it before he should have I thought he was reading one of your tumblr posts

FIRST OFF I AM SO FLATTERED BUT SECONDLY I RLLY GOTTA BE UPFRONT HERE 😭 yes i come up w theories i come up w AUs but bros… a lot of my posts abt Macden and Dennis in general… i re-watch the show itself SO often i am genuinely speaking from my analysis of the canon itself. i dont want ppl to get it too twisted— i genuinely have just been picking up on the stuff they have been writing into the show.. thats my feeling.. like when i talk abt the Shamrock stuff.. how Gets New Wheels/MFHP are macden arc foil eps… the Cats in the Wall metaphor, that is ALL rcg! that is what THEY wrote into the text!!

#im so honored u think glenn would appreciate my theories tho tbh i rlly hope he would #mostly cuz i do rlly try to parse what they are writing/acting into the show i try so hard dude #i just lov dennis im so passionate abt how theyve written him i think glenn has such an attention to detail w his character #n puts so much into him i rlly fuckin admire it i do #cuz tbh i rlly am a little bitch for canon thats just who i am #n dennis reminds me so much emotionally of how ive felt in my dads side of the family who Have that level of dysfunction the gang do so that #also helps a bit w my reading i feel LMAOO #like so many of my theories i try to specifically make sure they line up with the pre-existing canon as if i were pitching 2 rcg themselves #like. again thats just me 😭😭 #so yea.. again im so so flattered but truly a lot of my posting is based on what i think is written!!! #n as someone who has watched this show so so sooo many times i rlly do see them writing macden i see them writing den as having Loved mac #even when hes saying he hates mac….. he doesnt. he rlly truly doesnt. n rcg knows it i swear to u #they are smart. they have Been doing this for years. thats not givin em credit thats truly just experience! #(this is also important when it comes to criticizing them i believe.. like i cant let em off the hook for the stupid racist shit theyve #pulled n try to brush off cuz i KNOW theyre intelligent n not just bad writers thats a case of em choosing to be ignorant or phrasing their #frustrations against specifically Hulu pulling those eps performatively very poorly cuz Hulu now is part of the house that pays their bills #n they dont wanna get in trouble but seem to hav no qualms just coming off like they think Ppl Just Dont Get The Joke n NO Racist Adults #watch their show… thats BS n they should know better or fucking learn.. anyway) #like i aspire to write tv n i rlly like how theyve written sunny for the most part #like their character writing is just… i love it im obsessed w that aspect ive fallen so in love w all these characters’ writing #okok im done gushing #u are so sweet anon ily #but also i dont wanna give MYSELF too much credit when i dont feel ive done the heavy lifting yknow what i mean? 😭 #i truly believe if anyone rewatched the show as much as i have (and with how rcg hav been talkin abt sunnys streaming potential i believe #they want ppl to at some point be able to rewatch it like that n pick up on this stuff) #but if anyone rewatches this show enough times u will see this stuff cuz again its totally just written into it!n #i am just pointing it out not writin it myself #but again im more than happy to talk abt it n point it out if RCG themselves aren’t always comfortable doing so/feel like its ‘bragging’ #or pretentious.. cuz i hav So much fun analyzing the show n talking abt it n dont rlly hav any personal reputation stakes in doing so LOL

[whmp]

Am I the only one who makes whump content of SCP-049?

i hope not, cause that's a cool concept!

overall, SCP whump is something that I've never thought of, but the setting is pretty good for it.

this is barely related to this ask, but speaking of SCPs in a whumpy setting, there was this one that trapped a scientist in a separate realm to just torture the poor guy endlessly by basically writing its own SCP file? it was kinda meta and reminded me of the stories where the whumpee is somewhat aware of existing in a story that's being written to make them suffer. if anyone remembers the SCP number pls tell me! and also if this kind of concept sounds fun to you this is a psa to do horrible things to Cato in a story by @hurtthemgently which has a similar vibe and meta-aware characters. :)

#whump community #scp whump #ill be really careful about just tagging this post as 'scp' in case someone #doesnt wanna see whump while looking up cool monsters i guess #also sry for the tag oops

[snekdood]

I give too much advice to adults who are dedicated to acting like children and not wanting to understand ppl theyve decided to hate for no reason.

#like why do i extend my arm when you're just a bully with a woke coat of paint to justify your actions lol #like plenty of the posts i reblog say- just bc you dont like something or in this case SOMEONE. doesnt mean you have to find a secret #reason theyre somehow problematic to justify your dislike of them. sometimes you can just dislike ppl for dumb petty reasons even #id rather you just be honest that thats the reason instead of being a manipulative fuck making me think theres some secret other reason im #doing what im doing and if i dont listen to you then it means i dont actually want to be progressive or whatever. bc we both know thats not #the reason you're doing this. we both know you're just doing this bc you like to be a bully and found a woke way to do so. #we both know you dont actually care about me changing bc if i do listen to you and change. there will be a new expectation that i didnt #successfuly fill. thats just how ppl like yall work #thats just how bullies who like to see themselves as progressive are #i say like to see themselves as bc i see bullying as inherently a rightwing thing. and obviously if you're not being a disingenuous fuck rn #you know i mean genuine bullying when yoy bat someone around like a cat for not living up to your expectations #not calling ppl out for their genuine obvious shitty behavior #these are two different things and ik manipulative bullies who larp as progressive ppl know that but seems they wanna convince us theyre #the same so they can keep batting people around. please get a hobby. please find a new way to entertain yourself #oh and please for the love of fuck go to therapy bc no one does that shit other than when they feel inadequate themselves. #idk if you've noticed but i like never feel the need to bully people. idk why but i think its bc i love myself and i love being weird and #eccentric and not fitting anyones specific standards. idk. its more freeing to mot give a fuck what other ppl are like #and trying to change their behavior somehow someway to be more palatable to what youd like. #and maybe bullying isnt right wing but its definitely not progressive. sorry for not having the perfect phrasing ik its horrible #im just so terrible for not phrasing things the way you want i know. #ik a lot of the stuff about narcissists and bs but the shit about communal narcissists is what ppl like this remind me of #purely in it for the aesthetic. to look progressive and cool and diverting from the norm. but shits on anyone who might threaten their role #even if theyre just imagining theyd someone how threaten their role in this. oh and of course they only give af about shit to look good #which is why when you do something that doesnt fit the Aesthetic Of Progressivism then automatically you're kicked out and not progressive. #bc ppl who are 'communal narcissists' for lack of a better term. have set the standard that its how leftist you *appear* than what you do #or what you believe. #i wish we had a better term for this bc i think this a useful observation. i jst dont wanna throw ppl w personality disorders under the bus