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saffronapplemanga · 1 year

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GANGSTA. - ギャングスタ - PART 1

CRIME, ACTION, DRAMA

GANGSTA. by Kohske

(8 volumes, hiatus) Mangaka Kohske-sensei is sick and works on updates when she can. There are chapters beyond volume 8 in JP that haven't been collected into a volume yet here.

Available in English here

Anime - Yes. I'll admit it's crunchy, poorly paced, and disappointing because the studio went under literally a few days after it finished airing and it shows, but it’s still fun? They did cut stuff from the manga and there's so much they didn't adapt, so I'd recommend reading it. I'm begging for a remake and a season 2 or something...

Links to my other manga posts here

~Part two of this post is here~

We've got a meaty post today, lads! Sit down, because I'm going to gush about the series that's going in my all-time favs and I've made it my whole personality lately. I'm here to push the GANGSTA. agenda!!! I’m about to be so damn annoying.

Back in 2015 I was going through college hell and wanted something to chill with during my meager downtime. And so the GANGSTA. anime answered the call. Watching TV while shoveling food into my face was my only free time.

A whopping 8 YEARS later now that I'm a freelancer and have a flexible schedule allowing me to get into manga more than ever before, among other factors, it was finally time for me to pick this up. Naturally, I forgot a lot over the years, plus having consumed the anime in my suffering college student frenzy, much of my memory is fuzzy. What I DO remember is that the setting and aesthetics were cool, I loved the characters, and I was mad crushing on Nicolas Brown.

I'm pleased to report that after rewatching the anime and reading the manga, the me of 8 years ago had excellent taste.

Fellas, I present my 34-year-old homicidal, feral, sweet-as-a-button, baby girl ❤️

***Trigger warnings for everything you can think of for this series.***

This post will be divided into: Why You Should Check GANGSTA. Out - What's It About? - Lots And Lots of Character Analysis (And Gushing)

I'm going to give an elevator pitch and spoiler-free summary on why you should check this series out since I feel like it's — dare I say — slept on. Later, I'll get into spoilers and give a heads-up when I do.

Why You Should Check GANGSTA. Out

Diverse cast- disability, race, and age.

Disabled main character- Nicolas is deaf, mainly communicates in sign language, and I personally feel like the way it's handled is awesome (more on that in the character analysis). There are also great portrayals of mental illnesses.

Primarily adult cast- our main trio are 24, 34, and 35. All different races/mixed race. Also, they look like this->

The cleavage crew. My babies are amazing, just look at them!!!

Cool setting.

AWESOME character writing- we're never spoonfed, and there's so much you can glean about the characters from bits and pieces given to us — which is what a large portion of this post will be dedicated to discussing. Tons of nuance.

FOUND FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Found family? You have me hook, line, and sinker.

You can tell it was written by a female author if you know what I mean... Hear me out, I get into this more later. Please don't roll your eyes at me. I'm going somewhere with this.

Other than GANGSTA. I'm specifically thinking of Dorohedoro right now. It's the only time I've ever laughed at a boob joke and the whole, "Oh no, I walked in on a girl naked" joke and all that. Also, the bikini top/scantly clad outfits in that series don't give me the ick. Don't ask me to explain, I can just taste it. It's the execution.

While there are characters who are in romantic/sexual relationships, there are also a lot of platonic/familial relationships as well. I like romance as much as the next person and I can get really sappy sometimes, but I also want more non-romantic relationships between men and women. Sorta tired of the whole "a man and woman are in the same vicinity so they must bang, they HAVE to pair up". Again, love me some romance, but more of the other stuff too, please! And GANGSTA. delivers wonderfully. Some of the best depictions of the dynamic I crave that I've ever seen.

Look at this banger opening:

youtube

The ED is awesome too!

And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to present my "Nicolas Brown propaganda" video of this clip from Episode 1:

Look me in the eyes and try telling me this isn't the best thing ever. My man kicked a cop car in to stand up for Alex so they could save her and take her home!!! Also, Nic is voiced by Tsuda Kenjiro, the VA behind my other fictional crush, JJK's Nanami 'Husband-Material' Kento! Fair warning, I'm not going to shut up about Nic.

I have to admit, it’s difficult for me to wholeheartedly recommend the anime because of what I mentioned at the very top of the post. The voice actors were the best part of the anime, while the animation was… meh, and the pacing is not great. But it's still enjoyable! The manga destroyed me so good, though…

BTW if you're one of those people who are hesitant to get into a series that's on hiatus like my bestie, she HATES reading stuff on hiatus, I implore you to give it a go anyways. I successfully roped bestie into committing hehehe. It managed to absolutely wreck me in 8+ volumes. It's so worth it and I was very happy with how the last currently out chapter (#56) ended.

In case you were wondering... No, I still haven't recovered from Banana Fish.

There's also a completed spin-off series, GANGSTA: CURSED (I enjoyed it. I like action but it was almost too action-heavy for me. My fav parts of the main series are the quiet moments), a light novel GANGSTA: Death of Anosmic Stray Dogs (it was okay, Nic was funny but not enough of him, tbh I’ve read better fanfics), and drama CD's. I actually ordered the drama CD's to listen to later, but I'm traveling right now, and idk when I'll be home to pick up my package, so... And I read the extra manga that came with the Japanese Blu-rays (I enjoyed it).

What's It About?

Our boys Nicolas and Worick are the local "Handymen" doing odd jobs from deliveries and construction, to prostitution and homicide. They go way back, but their relationship is much more complicated than it initially seems.

The grungy city of Ergastulum is essentially an open-air internment camp. For who? Superhumans known as "Twilights", also called "Tags" for the tags they're required to wear. Twilights are the descendants of those who took the drug, Cerebret, developed during wartime to create enhanced soldiers. Their children inherit these qualities —making them an unintended consequence — but with a catch. They are forever dependent on consistent doses of Cerebret to stay alive and keep their bodies from shutting down. At the same time, however, it slowly poisons them, significantly slashing their lifespans. They are kept under surveillance, having been herded into Ergastulum, and xenophobia between them and the "Normal" non-Twilight refugees who settled there is constantly brewing. The Cerebret they need to survive is strictly regulated, expensive, and used to keep the Twilights on a short leash. They are in many ways, second-class citizens.

If you watched until the end of the Nicolas Brown propaganda video like I'm sure you totally did, you would have seen the tags dangling around Nic's neck — meaning that Nic is a Twilight. And in order to operate, he needs to be in a contract under someone. This contract puts the holder in ownership of the Twilight. In Nic's case, his contract holder is longtime friend and fellow Handyman, Worick. I'm sure you can imagine that it puts a certain strain on their relationship... Your BFF and roommate legally owning you even if it's to protect you? Awkward.

To make matters worse, Nic is running out of time, fast. The Cerebret, like I said, shortens the lifespan of Twilights. Various factors come into play regarding lifespan, but on average, they live into their 30's. And Nic is already 34 years old. I am... stressed, to say the least. I don’t know how he's going to pull through guys, I really don't.

Genuinely concerned for Nic's well-being. I don't trust Kohske to pull her punches...

Enter Alex — a prostitute the Handymen take off the street and offer refuge to. We learn about the city, the boys, the factions at play, and more alongside Alex, who has been thrown into this world. Worick is a charming sweetheart who I think sees a lot of himself in Alex, especially since he's been working as a gigolo from a VERY young age. And Nico despite his seemingly harsh exterior, is so damn kind and soft... They all are. I love my found family of traumatized dorks *sobs*

It's not all doom and gloom, though! We have funny, silly, cute-as-hell moments, too. And the domestic scenes? The quite, tender moments? Love. Obsessed.

I like how Nic is holding his old wanted poster with his face in the first panel like he's wearing it as a mask or something. And they're in separate interrogation rooms with glass between them but they can still communicate because Nic can read lips and Worick knows sign language. Clowns, the lot of them.

I admit at first, GANGSTA. seems like a kinda lame title. Like, as a native English speaker, if someone told me to check out a series with this title, it would give me pause lol. It really has that late 2000's to early 2010's aesthetic, edgy themes, plus the whole "Twilights" term — which when combined may make you think, "Yo, this looks lame," especially if you were a teen during that time. "Twilight" just makes me think of that Twilight, but we're ignoring that. For me, my teen years were cringe, and I'm sure many of you feel the same. But you know what? Mangaka Kohske-sensei rocks this vibe! She makes it cool! And now that I'm older, it's like, whatever embrace cringe, have fun and all that, y'know? So, GANGSTA. is great and totally not cringe in any way, hush.

She loves edgy characters — and eyepatches. Gosh, she loves eyepatches. And good for her! You do you, queen! I can dig it.

Bonus Nico because he's so damn cute. Love of my life.

But listen, this manga is deceptively deep, guys. You might think at first it’s simply crime, drugs, sex, and violence... But no! There’s more to it. The crime, drugs, sex, and violence are used to great effect instead of just edgy for the sake of being edgy. The plot is great and all, but the real bread and butter for me with this series are the ✨characters✨. I don't care if you have the sickest plot on the face of the planet. If I'm not obsessed with your characters... what are we doing here then?

Seriously, if I'm not willing to cut a bitch for your characters, try again.

It’s time to segue into ->

Lots And Lots of Character Analysis (And Gushing)

Goodness, where do I even start? So many good characters and moments to over-analyze! There's a boatload of stuff I want to talk about and I'm going to try and make it make sense. I’ll gradually dig deeper and deeper into the squad’s character. I do think I'll have to primarily focus on the main trio, or else my hands are going to fall off from all the typing.

Kohske-sensei doesn't spoonfeed us and doesn't treat us like we're dumb. You know when writers don't trust their audience to get something so they beat us over the head with it? Yeah, no, none of that here. Because a lot is implied or hinted at, this is going to be my interpretation of things. If you have a different take, I'd love to hear it! I'm going to just dive into the analysis with any evidence to support my claims, so I'm assuming you already know the story (or maybe come back later after reading the manga?) because from this point...

***SPOILERS UNTIL CHAPTER 56 FROM HERE ON OUT***

This section will be broken up into: Where It All Began - Nicolas and Nina - "Nice vs. Kind" - Worick and Alex - Nicolas and Alex - Nicolas and Worick - Nicolas - The Trio and The Scene That Had Me Bawling My Eyes Out - Brief Shoutouts to Characters I Also Want to Talk About, But This Post Is Already Long Enough

I'm about to get really sappy, so uh, here goes nothing.

(Note: the manga pages/panels I included for reference are arranged from right to left reading order btw)

Where It All Began

Let's start... at the beginning! The hankie. The first chapter establishes what kind of characterization we can expect from our main cast.

When we first meet our trio, Nic and Worick are leaning on a wall overlooking the city while Alex walks below, bleeding. And then, a handkerchief lands on her head. At first, it's not clear which of the Handymen dropped it down to her, but we're led to believe it was Worick as Nic had his back to the wall.

This is the first panel of Nic that made me go, "Well, hello there, sir 👀💦" Don't judge me. And like, why are half the buttons on his shirt undone? Worick too, LMAO. Not that I'm complaining..........

However, when Alex later thanks Worick for the handkerchief, he tells her it was actually Nic's. Awww, cute...

When the Handymen are hired to take out a gang, it turns out Alex is one of the prostitutes in the gang and therefore is going to be taken out by association. But the boys aren't too keen on this, which results in us getting the glorious Nicolas Brown propaganda scene I included earlier in this post. They claim her as their spoils after taking out the gang in order to keep her safe and get her off the streets. They even throw their weight around with the police by threatening to bash their heads in to do so.

This is all to say that while we see the boys do unsavory things like gleefully murder, we can see already that they're nuanced and SO DAMN KIND. They didn't have to do any of it. They had no reason to. They don't gain anything from it, nor do they expect to (more on this later).

Confirmed: They drink respect-women-juice. King shit.

The next day, we see that Nic seems to be acting pretty coldly with Alex. Right away, I took this as he's having a hard time opening up to her despite everything he did the day before to help her at no benefit to himself including saving her from a passed-out Worick LMAO. It's like... he's scared to get close. He doesn't mind her presence, but he stays at arm's length. We later get hints it's probably because of Veronica and he's afraid of getting hurt or getting someone hurt again. But, while running deliveries, we get this scene:

Which to me is Nic announcing that Alex is now under his protection — a fearsome rank A/0 Twilight. Yeah, it's to keep Worick's clients happy, but I think it's protection for her, too. They haven't known each other for a full 24 hours yet and the boys are already like, "Yeah she's with us. Leave her alone."

Nicolas and Nina

When we meet the absolutely precious Nina, we see a lot more of Nic's overt soft side. It's obvious he loves Nina a lot and is super affectionate with her and sees her as his little sister. And she very much loves him back!

I turn into a blubbering puddle of goop every time these two interact.

He goes out of his way to buy her the drinks she likes, holds her hand whenever they walk together, teases her, plays with her, comforts and holds her, and always keeps her safe no matter what. I could scream about every single panel they have together, but I want to highlight some of my favorite moments:

Worick disposes of the guys trying to kidnap Nina while Nic walks her to the clinic, but she stops at the sound of distant gunfire. Nic eases her anxiety by making her laugh and jokingly saying, "I didn't hear a thing," because of course a deaf man wouldn't lolllll. But he knew that she did indeed hear something because he knew what Worick was up to. But, they don't let Nina know that she was being tailed and in danger so as to not scare her.

Nina sleeps holding Nic's hand while he's passed out at the clinic, and when he wakes up he puts the blanket over her, careful not to wake her.

When Nic stays over at the clinic after he's hurt, the next day he jumps around rooftops with his superhuman agility, holding Nina close, simply to entertain this child he cares for dearly.

Alex asks Nina if she's scared of Nicolas, and while she understands Alex's hesitation, she says that, no she's not scared of him. She knows him for who he is, and not just how he seems. She knows he's actually a very soft man.

After all the patients at the clinic die, Nina is having a rough time processing her grief. She's a little girl with an enormous heart and was grieving over people she didn't even know. Nic leaves all the other grown-ups to go sit with her in his lap, against his chest, comforting her. Later, he takes her hand and walks her to Bastard to hear Alex sing and hang out with Loretta for a pick-me-up.

This scene pulls at my heart... Look at how much they love each other, and how much they feel comfortable and safe with each other. You can FEEL it.

After getting shot by Monroe and having seizures from Theo's experimental drug, Nic still tries to get up and go help the gang. Alex goes to stop him, meanwhile Nina... she looks at him with an aching heart, hurting because he's hurting. Taking his sword, she unsheathes it to reveal that it's broken. This causes Nic to have a moment where he realizes he too is broken and useless right now. So he slumps to the floor, allowing Nina to hold him. She was able to convey what she wanted to tell him — that he was in no condition to go anywhere and that she was worried about him — without saying a word.

To no one's surprise, this part had me in TEARS. So much is said with no words.

Nina puts her hands on Nic's, comforting him while he continues to be out of commission. Nic agrees to let Theo have his body to study as he's accepted his ever-looming demise, and Nina is... distraught. She cries for him. She cries while Theo tucks her into his lab coat, arm around her. I think that given Nicolas' history and trauma, having someone shed tears for him and be so gentle to him is extremely important. He spent the first 12 years of his life being abused on multiple levels and made to feel like he was nothing and then lived a harsh life even after he and Worick ran away. Having someone express this kind of emotion for him, this unfiltered love and care is important. Their casual, comfortable, and trusting tenderness is important.

"Nice vs. Kind"

I do want to emphasize that Nic isn't just kind to Nina. He and Worick are kind to everyone who isn't trying to kill them/has attracted their ire, that is. This is important to note for my next point -> Lately, I've been thinking a lot about something that I'm going to refer to as "nice vs. kind". I mentioned this in my AI Art post in a bit of a different context than we’ll be getting into here. While everything I'm going to talk about can apply to anyone, I'm going to focus on "nice guys".

Earlier, I talked about how the Handymen helped Alex without gaining anything or expecting anything in return. In fact, they're letting her bum off them and crash at their place for absolutely nothing. Combined with how our boys are good to pretty much everyone who isn't trying to kill them, I feel like this makes them truly kind instead of just "nice guys". When "nice guys" complain about how women in particular don't "give them a chance" or whatever it is they complain about, I have to laugh. You're being nice just because you want something from that person (such as getting a woman to sleep with you) or because you want to appear nice to people. In short, you're doing it only because you have an ulterior motive or something to gain — and it shows sooner or later. It's being selectively "nice" to people only when you are trying to gain.

Meanwhile, the boys don't do this at all. They aren't good to people because they're trying to gain something (unless it's work-related, they gotta eat after all). They don't care much about what people think of them or worry about "looking good". The boys follow what they believe in and act on it, even if it may seem morally grey or when it leads to them having not the greatest reputation with most people. But those who know them, know. And THAT is sexy and attractive, both in a romantic and platonic sense. When my friends are truly kind to me or anyone, I'm like, "Wow, that was so hot of you bestie."

When Nic was protecting the clinic in chapter three, Alex was scared of him. He unnerved her. Having just escaped from a man who abused her to hell and back, she was already on edge. Nic looked like an aggressive man, just like the last guy. Her initial impression is similar to the impression most people have of him. But he doesn't care about "looking good" because he's focused on doing right by those he cares about. THAT'S SOME HOT BOY SHIT!!!

Theo is great. We love Theo.

But how do I know without a shred of a doubt that they aren't expecting anything from Alex? I mean, isn't Worick having her help them with the business and do stuff for them? Yes, he is having her do stuff, but it's the intention behind it. When Worick asks Alex to man the phone while he's gone because Nic can't do it, he's giving her this task for her own sake. It's to make her feel included and useful and not feel like a burden, but without asking too much of her. I come from a culture that practices what I call "aggressive hospitality". What I mean is, for example, my friends will refuse to let me help clean up after dinner — and aggressively so — because I'm the guest. But I hate this because I feel useless and I'm just awkwardly watching you do all the work when I have two perfectly good hands. Like, PLEASE give me something to do, anything. And that's what Worick is doing for Alex! His asking her to do these little things is a kindness from him to her.

Besides, if Worick and Nic wanted to use Alex, they could have so easily at any time. A woman crashing with two guys after escaping an abusive pimp and is having drug withdrawals in a city where she has no one is an INSANELY vulnerable position to be in. She's quite literally easy prey. It wouldn't be unusual for someone in that situation to expect to be assaulted, to "pay with her body" in exchange.

But the Handymen, never go anywhere near that line. In fact, they completely reject the possibility, which leads us to one of my favorite scenes.

Worick and Alex

Alex's withdrawal symptoms are making her spiral and she's terrified. She needs to be useful. She needs to be useful the only way she can think of... or else. So she throws herself at Worick — but Worick shuts that shit down immediately. He doesn't entertain the possibility for a second. He refuses to use Alex. He could have taken the opportunity to "get some" but instead, he grounds her and makes her feel safe.

One of the most attractive qualities a person can have is making you feel safe, and I don't just mean physically safe. This isn't limited to what women find attractive in men or what's romantically attractive. This applies to a lot of relationships in general. (More on romance later, or rather lack of romance, because I didn't take this scene to be romantic.)

Worick went out in the rain looking for her. He saw that she picked up a John, going back to her old ways — and he never shames her for it. He just wants to take her home and is upset at himself for taking his eyes off of her. He makes it clear she owes him nothing. He reminds her that she's safe now, he's here now. And my sweet, sweet man just starts complaining to her about his crappy day in a silly, whiny manner to cheer her up and make her laugh.

He's like, "Boohoo, Nic fucked up my fancy shirt." LOLLL But seriously, I would trust this man with my life after all this.

The last line in this scene is some of the first instances of Worick being flirty with Alex, but in a way that I believe is another example of his kindness. Yeah, I said what I said. These scenes are some of the reasons that made me go, "I would bet money that this series was written by a female author." Some people might have the kneejerk reaction that these scenes are Worick being creepy, but I would argue that it's totally not the case.

When Alex visits Worick at the clinic, we get the following scene:

Alex is being hard on herself and feels ashamed. She pours out all the anxieties plaguing her mind, completely opening up to Worick. I don't know about you guys, but admitting how I really feel to someone, especially someone I care about and who I want to like me back in such a raw way is one of the scariest things you can do. What if they reject me? Or hate me? Will they think less of me?

But Worick brushes all this away so easily, again, never judging her. And again, he gives her something to do, to look forward to, with the promise of a song. Again, he gets flirty with her, joking around to lighten her mood.

"He's inappropriately touching her, though! How can you say that's kindness?"

Worick and Alex are both sex workers and have been from a young age. They both have trauma surrounding it. They understand each other in a way others can't. If Worick was invading everyone's bubbles and getting all touchy-feely with them, then I'd say yeah, he's being a creep. But he only does this with Alex. And while Alex might playfully smack him when he does, she's never really uncomfortable. She knows that he's doing this to cheer her up (and Worick uses humor as a coping mechanism — you can't fool me, sir. I have you CLOCKED).

If it actually made her uncomfortable, Worick would stop right away. He's earned her trust and continues to do so. This is what the banter and camaraderie between them looks like. It's like when I affectionately call my friend a "bitch" and say "I hate you" because we have an understanding with one another. If I did that with everyone, I would be an asshole. Meanwhile, my friend's mom yelled at her to be nice to me before I dump her ass. I was like, "Auntie... What are you talking about? We're literally having a brunch date together right now." LMAO, that's just how our relationship is and it works for us. In the pages above, you can see them horsing around, Alex "reprimanding" Worick for being a "perv" but quickly dropping her head on his chest and snuggling up to him. SHE FEELS SAFE WITH HIM!

AND HE FEELS SAFE WITH HER!!!!!!!

I didn't take this scene as romantic either btw.

I rest my case. Good day to you.

Actual picture of me reading about these dummies.

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~Continued in my part two post~

#GANGSTA.#manga #manga recs #manga recommendation #manga discussion #seinen manga #漫画 #おすすめ #青年漫画 #ギャングスタ

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saffronapplemanga · 1 year

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GANGSTA. - ギャングスタ - PART 2

CRIME, ACTION, DRAMA

(8 volumes, hiatus) Mangaka Kohske-sensei is sick and works on updates when she can. There are chapters beyond volume 8 in JP that haven't been collected into a volume yet here.

Available in English here

Links to my other manga posts here

~Part one of this post is here~

This is a continuation of my part one post, so go check that out if you haven't and come back here!

Let’s continue talking non-stop about my precious found family trio ❤️

***Trigger warnings for everything you can think of for this series.***

Part one was broken up into: Why You Should Check GANGSTA. Out - What's It About? - Lots And Lots of Character Analysis (And Gushing) - Where It All Began - Nicolas and Nina - "Nice vs. Kind" - Worick and Alex

This part two post will continue the character analysis and is broken up into: Nicolas and Alex - Nicolas and Worick - Nicolas - The Trio and The Scene That Had Me Bawling My Eyes Out - Brief Shoutouts to Characters I Also Want to Talk About, But This Post Is Already Long Enough

***SPOILERS UNTIL CHAPTER 56 FROM HERE ON OUT***

(Note: the manga pages/panels I included for reference are arranged from right to left reading order btw)

Nicolas and Alex

I touched on Nic and Alex's relationship a bit earlier, but let's dig deeper. We established that Nic is having trouble opening up to Alex, and she's having trouble figuring him out. Gradually though, they start to click.

I've already said that one of the ways Nic shows affection is by teasing. Early on in chapter six when the boys are rushing out the door mid-meal, Nic stops halfway out the door, turns around, and signs something to Alex. And if I'm not mistaken, it's the first time he's initiated talking to her. Alex looks up the sign in the book and realizes he said the food was, "So-so." Even though earlier in the same chapter he felt unapproachable and ate alone down in his space, he's making an effort to communicate and thank her for the food... in his own awkward Nicolas-way lol.

At Constance's shop after Alex's withdrawal meltdown with Worick, we can see Nic keeping an eye on Alex from afar. She starts recalling some memories and is on the edge of having a panic attack. At this moment, Nic comes inside the shop to ask Constance for more paint:

Be still, my beating heart.

I think he asked for the paint as an excuse to casually come closer to Alex. Whether he actually needed more paint or not, he chose this moment to get up from where he was and come inside. After he calms Alex and helps her open the pill bottle, he leaves once she stops trembling, likely to give her some air and not have her feel like he's hovering over her — so that she doesn't feel like she's burdening or worrying them. Since Nic and I have similar love languages/displays of affection, I tend to do the same. I don't like to make a big fuss over something so the other person doesn't feel embarrassed and like they have the spotlight on them. At the same time, I try to make sure they know I'm always around and can come to me when they need to/are ready to.

Next, we have these pages where Alex was helping with a job looking for a lost cat to "earn her keep" when she sees a Twilight child being beaten and about to be SA-ed by Normals. She steps in and whacks one of them to allow the child to escape, but she's up against three big guys and gets caught. Luckily, Nic comes in the nick of time hehe:

I can't believe they cut this out of the anime... Nic is a cat whisperer but Alex is not a Nic whisperer... yet, LOL. She'll get there. And him constantly pickpocketing the people he knocks out is so funny. But also it’s sad because it’s a habit he picked up as a kid to survive.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I love the casual kindness in this series. Nic saves Alex and the child, and gives her the cat and the money he pickpocketed from the men. Then he gave some to the child and walked away. The way he did all this sort of reminded me of this saying that’s found in the Abrahamic religions that goes, "Give without letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing." Except Nic is a leftie lol. This saying is about not seeking a reward for doing something good. To not “announce” your good deeds for attention. Nic does what he does, doesn't make a big deal of it, and just goes about his business (it's "nice vs. kind" again!). Alex stands against injustice even when it put her in great danger. In this case, she put herself in danger for a Twilight she didn't even know, and I'm sure Nic appreciates that.

Even though Alex is struggling to get on Nic's wavelength, it doesn't stop her from trying. She takes the initiative to learn sign language when she's alone. Before heading home from the clinic together, Alex stops Nic to convey her feelings about her situation, but in sign. It's her first attempt at signing a full conversation. Nic waits for her to finish without interrupting her, but then says, "Idiot. Your signing sucks. I can't understand it. Try again. And quit being so rough with that book. It's the only copy we have." To me, it sounds like Nic knew that Alex was studying sign, and he appreciates her effort and is teasing like he always does. They're starting to meet each other halfway more and more.

When Alex regains her memories and passes out from a panic attack, we get this scene:

This is an example of what I meant by, "I try to make sure they know I'm always around and can come to me when they need to/are ready to." He's just there, quietly watching over her when she's in a vulnerable state. He chose to read his book in Worick's room next to her instead of the living room or his room. It's such a simple gesture — a reassuring presence at a time when she's working through her trauma, waiting by her side with a comforting drink in hand.

A scene I adored was this:

Kohske-sensei, once again killing it with conveying things through wordless pages.

After comforting a grieving Nina, Nic takes her to Bastard to watch Alex sing. He leans against the speakers so he can feel the vibrations of her performance in an effort to connect to Alex since he can't hear her singing. If this isn't the cutest thing... idk what is...

Also, this:

A little bit after leaving Bastard, Nic's 'roided out on Theo's drug and is about to do some reckless shit. He's leaping over the rooftops to his destination and we get this page of him drifting in the air... humming the tune of Alex's song... AHHHH!!!

Nicolas and Worick

I talked about the Handymen and their relationships with other characters, but what about with each other? As early as the first page of chapter two, we already get hints that Nic and Worick have a... complicated relationship.

From their banter and how they bounce off each other, we can tell these two are beyond close. But the more we progress, the more we see how close. Worick usually presents a silly, charming, and laid-back attitude, so it's jarring when we see him seriously snap at the girl badmouthing Nic at the brothel. It's kind of scary to see him like that. Time and time again, we see how protective he is of Nic. When one of his clients suggests that Nic should "join them" Worick declines and is angry on the inside. He thinks to himself that Nic isn't a sex worker. While Nic couldn't join Worick in working at the brothel, Pussy, because no Twilights are allowed, I get the feeling Worick wouldn’t have let him anyway. He's traumatized by his sex work and seems to keep Nic out of it. Hell, he owns Nic and he could have made him sell himself, but my impression is that he's against it. Maybe I'm reaching, idk.

With their backstory, we learn a lot about them, how they met, why they are the way they are, and more. I love that Worick took Nic in and gave him the education he never had. They bond as children and become friends, but we can see SO MANY times, Nic bows to Worick. I've lost count of how many times he does it. I think this is because his whole life, Nic has been taught to obey his "master" which was usually his father, and now, Worick. Now, these two hurt little boys are brought together, and they need one another to survive.

Worick asks, "Why don't you run away?" and, "How can you act so calm?" There are various reasons Nic hasn't run away and acts calm, so allow me:

Worick doesn't know yet at this point, but Nic's father, Gaston Brown, has his supply of Cerebret. Nic can't source it himself and would die without it if he ran away.

He's a child. Where would he even go? He has nowhere to go.

He's acting "calm" because, to him, this is his "normal". It's not unusual for victims of abuse to not register things they experienced as abuse. If that's the only perspective they've known and have been conditioned to, it becomes their "normal". Or some believe they "deserve" that treatment. Worick's "normal" also consists of constant abuse, but he at least has a contrasting point of reference in his brother who gets treated much better than he does. Nic doesn't have that.

No matter how terrible, Gaston Brown is his father at the end of the day. It can be ridiculously hard to cut parents out, even when you hate them. This applies to Worick as well, but I'm going to expand on this point more in a bit.

I'm sure Worick was asking these questions out of frustration, perhaps asking himself those questions rather than actually directing them at Nic who he knows isn't listening.

The two are suffering abuse at the hands of their fathers, but the abuse isn't just physical. Although, that's the most obvious form that they are both experiencing at the same time:

It's common for victims of physical abuse to say, "I fell," or say they had an accident when asked about their injuries. Worick is the first to bring up the topic in chapter 13 (right page) as he's been observing Nic and his behaviors more and more. Nic pauses before coming up with a lie, saying that he, "...fell down". I wouldn't be surprised if he was told to either hide that his father was abusing him or maybe he thinks it was his fault and takes the blame for his injuries. Worick understands what he actually means though. It's glaringly obvious that Nic's arm has been stomped on by someone wearing military boots. Then in chapter 15 (left page) after Nic comes back from a battle, he asks what happened to Worick. And Worick mirrors Nic's response of, "I fell." I think Nic knows about Worick being beaten by this point, and his asking was more like, I'm the one that just came back from war. What the heck happened to you? Are you okay? Or something along those lines.

After this, the boys really start to get along, even more than before. They enjoy each other's company and feel comfortable with one another. They understand each other in a way no one else around them does. But then, Worick learns that Nic is a Twilight, and he's been taught that Twilights are monsters. At first, he's in denial when he finds out but ultimately challenges his teachings. He's spent time and shared intimate moments with this so-called "monster" and quickly works towards saving Nic from his father. So, he buys Nic's contract and a supply of Cerebret.

This scene... stomped on my heart. After being injured in a battle he, A 12 YEAR OLD CHILD, was forced to fight in, Nic wakes up, leaving the bed and assuming his spot on the floor — like he's been "trained" to do (more on this in the next section... ugh.) He rips out his IV and runs out in the rain calling after his father, clinging to the bars of the fence... only to be thrown away for money and called a monster. His expression on the last page killed me. That's the face of a child who still hoped for their parent to show them love, even after everything they had done to them. Yes, Worick has saved him from his father's tyranny, but part of him still hoped...

The next day, Worick has been beaten once again. Nic has been "freed" but not actually. As Worick says, "Great, nothing's changed at all." (This is a theme that comes up constantly.) Nic is still a child soldier who's a slave and Worick is still his father's punching bag. Nic's response? He signs, "Should I kill him?" referring to Worick's father, as it is now time to free Worick from his abusive situation. It's also the only thing he knows how to do. Nic snaps the next time Worick's father beats him, killing the whole family. Worick is in a panic, "Father, it wasn't me! Please believe me, Father..." and he seems angry at Nic. When he tells him, "I won't allow you to die that easy! You're going to hurt real bad before you die! The worst kind of pain you can imagine! That's an order!" he's taking out his frustration on Nic while also begging him to not die and leave him behind. Nic is Worick's only friend after all. The expression on Nic's face when he gets yelled at is interesting. At first his eyes are open wide, then he relaxes his face accepting what Worick says. It reminds me of his face when his father left. It's worth pointing out that Nic's previous master was a white/blonde man with an eyepatch who was bigger than him and was rough with him. And now his new master is too.

I think... Worick is ultimately glad his father is gone, but he's conflicted. The thing with some relationships, especially family/parent-child relationships, is that it's never that simple. No matter how terrible, a child will always crave the love of their parent. Somewhere inside, they hope that a crumb of affection will come their way. Often times in abusive relationships, it isn't always all bad. The abusive parent can still have moments where they are good to the child victim and show care and gentleness. The child is powerless to run away, powerless to fight back, and naturally seeks the love of the parent, so they don't have much choice other than to endure and hope for "good times" to make their appearance.

While I was writing this, I was skimming through the manga again to refresh my memory and I saw this page at the end of vol.3 that I either missed or completely forgot about that supports what I'm saying:

Apparently, Worick's picture is only in the Japanese volumes.

Gaston Brown is... hugging Nic. I think... this is the only time we see Nic smile as a child. And he did put the last name "Brown" on Nic's tag. Did he see him as his son, even a little? I want to mention that the flashback is all from Worick's POV, and we never directly see Gaston physically abuse Nic. Worick's POV could be skewing our perception of Nic's story and he might be projecting his experience with abuse onto Nic, assuming it was Gaston when it could've been the other men. I could argue points in Gatson's defense, believe it or not. Like how he actually told the guys to lay off of Nic, or maybe he sold him to Worick because they could take care of him better than he could, and so on and so forth. Still a piece of shit and not father-of-the-year or anything, and this could totally not be the case. It's something to think about but I'll leave it there for now.

The same is true for Worick. He's had nice moments with his father as well. But now, there is no chance Worick can ever hope to have a relationship with his father. While no longer being terrorized, the boys lost all hope for parental affection as well as any kind of familial support system. It's normal to feel great loss and regret. It reminds me of Ash's relationship with his father from Banana Fish, and that One Piece character who had a dedicated arc semi-recently (I don't wanna spoil anyone, but if you know, you know). Like Ash and in One Piece, Nic and Worick were failed by their parents and pushed to desperate measures to survive. But ultimately, all these characters can't bring themselves to completely hate their parents and feel nothing for them. It's harder than it seems to throw your family away even when you hate them. Whenever people are like, "Just cut your parents off! They're not the boss of you!" it's like... shut up, it's complicated.

Surely now, things will be on the up and up now that they're out of those terrible situations, right?

Wrong.

Worick is selling himself to support them, and Nic is frankly a burden. His medication is expensive, he can't work regular jobs, and all he knows how to do is fight and kill. Worick is excited to take Nic somewhere where they can get something decent to eat, and to eat together at a place that allows Twilights. But he rounds the corner and sees that his friend is beaten and bruised. And Nic says it himself, "All of it is pointless." (Again, this is a constant theme.) They're constantly stuck in a crappy situation. They're NOT free even after running away. They're still two scared little kids with no support system, fending for themselves just like before. And Twilights will always be oppressed. They'll always be slaves. The whole Three Laws is a facade to "free" the Twilights when in reality that's not the case. It's probably why Chad says he doesn't like the Three Laws and not to talk about them around him. Even if Worick didn't own him, Nic and the other Twilights would be slaves to the system.

In the current timeline, the boys are doing pretty well for themselves. Their business/home, their neutral status, and freelancer flexibility are PEAK luxuries. If you look at their current lifestyle and think, "Man, they live in a shitty place and their jobs kinda suck," then I say to you, that you haven't tasted poverty and desperation. I always get pissy when I see those, "I tried living on poverty wages for a month!" things because... fuck you. One of the worst parts about poverty is that there's no end in sight. You can slave away day in and day out and not get anywhere. There's no promise of "moving up" if you just work hard enough. But if you KNOW it's over in a month or even a year or more? You can pace yourself and stick it out. That's nothing. That's EASY. At least there's an end in sight. But even if you get out, you always live in fear of slipping and going back. Anyone who thinks poverty is caused by people being lazy or whatever is just exposing how ignorant they are. Poverty is a failure of society — all of us as a society are failing the poor and oppressed. Poverty is a form of violence, and not a failure of the individual. I don't want to harp on about this for too long, but just know, I'm proud of the boys and I love their crappy little home and wish them luck on their morally dubious jobs.

But, these two are codependent on each other while also having some awkward power dynamics. Nic needs Worick to be his contract holder to afford him as much "freedom" as he has, and to keep others from using him. Early on, he relied on Worick to provide for them. Worick needs Nic to keep him safe, and I'd argue that Worick would've been taken out for his "storage" ability being a liability ages ago if it wasn't for Nic's presence being a threat. Beyond bodily survival, they need one another in terms of emotional well-being and keeping each other in check. They're aware of their "master/Twilight" positions and for the most part, do well to thrive together despite it. It does come up though and continues to be a point of contention in their relationship.

Back to the Arcangelo family massacre, maybe part of Worick was angry at himself for not being able to do anything and Nic having to dirty his hands. Plus the way Nic killed everyone was... gruesome. It proved to Worick what Nic was capable of and that he really is a Twilight, a monster, and all of this shocked him. The boys were friends, but after the massacre, part of Worick likely hated Nic and he was cruel to him in some ways (as we see more of in the Blu-ray manga where Worick even calls Nic his dog. He was playing along with Monroe, but still...) There's definitely resentment. You could say Nic ruined his life as much as he saved him.

However, two years later (I'm assuming after the attack on Monroe), we get a scene of Worick crying to Chad as Nic is hospitalized, and I believe he starts to realize once again that Nic is just a kid and not an invincible monster. He realizes that throwing Nic into that situation with his planned attack on Monroe almost got his only friend killed for real (which might be why Monroe later says that Nic attacked him for his master's sake, that bothers Worick because he now sees them as friends). At this point, their relationship takes another turn.

The reality is that he's still technically Nic's master, but they're friends too. So now they went from friends, to master/slave, and now to master/friends. It's an awkward line to walk, and Worick is trying his best to keep it more on the friendship side. Like, when he tells Nic not to make him give orders because he doesn't like flexing his role as master. No matter what, the legal ownership of Nic is always hovering over them. It's... complicated... good lord.

I do find it interesting to think about how Worick is probably the first person who treated Nic normally at first because he didn't know he was a Twilight. Nic probably never experienced that any other time.

One last thing — I love that they got matching tattoos because it was to cover the serial numbers on Nic's back and Worick got one too. I think it was Worick's idea because Nic doesn't seem like the type that would bother. Cute...

I know I mainly talked about their past together and there's so much subtle stuff from the present like their conversation at Connie's place and Worick hitting Nic with the hammer to test his sense of pain. But maybe another time or else we're gonna be here all day. I could literally analyze this series page by page, panel by panel.

Nicolas

Now, I'd like to further break down aspects of Nic's character I have yet to cover in this section dedicated to him because he's my baby girl.

Worick's family had it coming. If only Nic took out his own dad while he was at it.

I am not deaf, nor will I pretend to truly understand what it's like for those in the deaf/hard-of-hearing community. I can only give my perspective on the portrayal of Nicolas as someone trying to relate and understand from my limited knowledge, my own experience with disability, and through my experience with a deaf relative of mine. So please keep that in mind whenever I address that aspect of Nic. If I got something wrong, please let me know! I’m always open to learning more.

Nic expresses himself differently than Worick, from his mannerisms, how he shows kindness, etc. Why is he the way he is? I've seen some people say that he doesn't show a lot of emotion. While I do think he was emotionally stunted from childhood, he actually displays a lot of emotion. He's just more subtle about it, except for when he wants to fight I guess.

From the start, he gives off a feral kind of energy. Nic has an itch for battle, yes, but it also shows in his body language in his daily life and how he acts outside of battle.

I know I call him an animal here, but I say it affectionately, I swear. I want to throw hands with his dad who treated him like a literal animal (ง’̀-‘́)ง But we'll get to that... They cut this detail out of the anime too!

A panel that stood out to me early on is this:

Nic often curls up on furniture, like when he sat next to Nina on the couch. But here when he's alone, he's hunched over his food, not even properly sitting on the loveseat. He sits downstairs alone to eat instead of joining Worick and Alex. Worick mentions that, "I've known him since we were kids, but we've only been eating together for the past two or three years." Later at the end of one of the volumes, we get a layout of the Handymen's home and it turns out Nic doesn't have a bed. His "room" is the open space by the kitchen and his "bed" is either the loveseat or he just sleeps on the floor. It's like... he doesn't know how to sit "normally" or behave in a "typical" manner sometimes.

Listen, I sleep on the floor with a Japanese-style futon and I'm that kid that has to sit cross-legged on everything — couches, desk chairs, those insufferably uncomfortable science class/art studio stools, you name it. But Nic's body language was telling me that he's been hurt and abused before I even got any info on his backstory.

Sure enough, his backstory proved me right.

We talked about the physical abuse Nic and Worick went through, but there's more to it than just that. Worick is also being emotionally abused by being othered and hated for being the result of his father's infidelity. Nic is being abused on so many levels — he hasn't been given any kind of education (abuse!), his medication is being kept from him and he's only given enough to barely function (medical child abuse), his mother was killed by his father and he was taken to be a child soldier (yikes...), and he's being treated like a literal dog! OH MY GOD!!!

His feet don't even reach the floor... How could you be so cruel to this child...

Multiple times, we see that Nic goes out of his way to come down off of furniture and curl up on the floor as if he was a dog that got scolded, and to take up as little room as possible. Worick realizes that Gatson Brown probably "trained" Nic to do this, so he tells him he doesn't have to do that around him. He can just sit on the chair. Nic nods in response but he keeps getting down and sitting on the floor again and again. It's like it's been hardwired and beat into him — engrained into him, and he's having a hard time breaking the habit.

When Nic wakes up after passing out, he looks startled. Normally, I'd think that he's reacting to Worick finding out that he's a Twilight, but Nic can't hear them and likely can't read their lips from where he is. Maybe he could tell from their body language? But to me, this feels like he woke up and thought, Why am I in a bed? Oh no, I should get out of this bed before anyone sees me. I'll get in trouble. I'm doing a lot of assuming here, but that's my impression because the first thing he does is jump out of bed and curl up on the floor next to the IV stand. He flips through the book and lingers on the signs for "Family/Father". Then he gets up, rips the IV out, and runs outside to chase after his father. That's when we get the heart-wrenching scene where he's abandoned that we discussed in the previous section.

The abuse that takes form in Nic's lack of education and accommodations for his disability is something that got me REAL heated. Like, yeah, the child soldier thing is horrible but I don't think I need to expand on why... I touched on education in my Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch's Life in Mongol post, but in summary, education is a human right! Access to language is a human right! A deaf child not having access to language is child abuse! Whether it's spoken or sign language, they need to be able to convey their wants and needs and communicate with those around them. Humans are social beings! I've seen firsthand a mere glimpse of what a deaf child who hasn't been given proper access to language goes through, and I raised hell over it! I won't get into details out of respect for their privacy. I can only imagine how lonely and isolated Nic must have been his whole life. His deafness and language deprivation can also be symbolic of Twilights not having a voice in society.

And I want to be clear that I'm not saying deaf or hard-of-hearing individuals need hearing aids or cochlear implants or anything like that (Nic probably couldn't get some anyways, but that's not the point). Deafness isn't something that needs to be "fixed" because there's no such thing. Whether one wants to utilize medical devices, wants to learn spoken language/speech therapy, wants to learn sign language, and how they want to use them in whatever combination is a deeply personal choice. These are all tools and some people in the deaf and hard-of-hearing community chose not to use medical devices of any kind. Some, like Nic, prefer sign language over speaking. They should be presented with their options and be able to choose what suits their needs best.

Why is he always itching for a fight? My opinion? It’s all he knew for so long and he's depressed and needs to feel something. The whole thing about the Cerebret making him numb and lose feeling reminds me of the numbness you feel when depressed so that could be symbolism or something? Also... I think Nic might be kinda suicidal... Like in a trying-to-get-himself-killed and having self-destructive tendencies kinda way if that makes sense. He's accepted his fate of dying young, of always being seen as a monster.

Seeing Nic say something so profoundly sad, echoing himself as a child, while simultaneously having people around who love him do everything they can to help is just… heartbreaking. He feels hopeless. This goes back to what I said in the previous section about how Nic knows he and the Twilights will never be free no matter what.

Despite this, he's still SO KIND!!! A scene that turned on the waterworks for me is this:

He's having seizures and is in extreme pain. Theo is about to call the test off but Nic stops him. He knocks the downer out of Theo's hand since using it would ruin the test results. Then, he grits his teeth and smiles, points to Yang indicating to Theo, I'm fine. Go help him. Now that he's accepted his death that's coming sooner rather than later, he's offering his body to help Theo figure out how to help other Twilights...

Nic is a perfect representation of what Twilights face in this world. From being born to be a weapon, being oppressed and abused, having no voice, and even the manga not having much of his perspective. The past was Worick's POV and the present is a lof of Alex's POV. Nic's POV is pretty much just his memories of Veronica. We don't get to hear from him about what he thinks very often, and most of the time we have to infer a lot of things. He fascinates me and I want to learn more about him!!!

The Trio and The Scenes From Ch 43 and 56 That Had Me Bawling My Eyes Out

Note: I read the post-vol. 8 chapters in Japanese. I'll be using my own translations for the post-vol. 8 chapters I'm referencing.

We get various moments throughout the series of the trio interacting. Most of the notable moments have been one on one — either Nic/Worick, Nic/Alex, or Alex/Worick. The scenes I want to talk about here are ones where things start to… converge (?) in a way. Like, things regarding the three of them coming together? I’m not quite sure how to put it. Hopefully, as I talk about the scenes, things will start to make sense.

Chapter 43 was relentless, from beginning to end. We check in with where the trio are mentally/emotionally. While separated from one another in this chapter, they’re all… really going through it at this point, to put it mildly.

First up is Worick, who has just made some WILD moves in the story. Like, holy shit, Worick!!! I trust you sweetie, but what’s going on in that big beautiful head of yours? I was anxious when he found out about Monroe's betrayal and he made a face I'm used to seeing on Nic, but not Worick himself — an unhinged grin that says, Oh, I'm about to fuck shit up. And I was nervously laughing like... haha, what're you gonna do Worick...? Oh no... I have a bad feeling about this. AND THEN HE ROLLED UP WITH MILES' HEAD IN A BAG! And wants to see Uranos Corsica! WORICK!!?! He's doing a convincing job of making everyone think that he's siding with Corsica, the notorious Twilight-hater.

While I have to say, Worick is scaring me a bit, I don't doubt him at all. He's constantly shown what a wonderful person he is. He's gone above and beyond to protect Nic and doesn't let people speak ill of his partner. And it's precisely in the midst of Worick taking frightening, extreme measures that we get this scene:

Sometimes, murder is moral, kids. But his face... the way he hesitated to hug her back...

It opens with a flashback of Worick in his teens having just stabbed a man who was cruel to Twilights and he's taking it upon himself to stand up for them. We've been shown that Worick hates the discrimination against Twilights despite having been taught to hate and fear them before he met Nicolas. And now, I'm genuinely worried for him because he could very much get himself killed. Nic's not with him. No one is. He's doing this alone. Big Mama is on his side, but she still works under Corsica.

Speaking of Nic, I don't think Worick filled him in on whatever the plan is. Nic was passed out after having a seizure when Worick decided to raise hell against Monroe. He's the next in the trio we check in with. But right before we do, we see Chad on the phone with Gina where he's forced to acknowledge that he's helpless to do anything for the suffering Twilights. He remembers what Nicolas said as a child — "All of it is pointless." I'm not crying.

Back at the clinic, Nic is still out of commission from the experimental drug's side effects. He's remembering the night he killed Worick's family and Worick yelling at him. Nina puts her hands on his shaking ones, trying to soothe him:

Just fuck me up... Don't make that face... Theo, I’m gonna need you to come in clutch and figure something out. Can we get this man a juicy research budget or something…?😩💦

Nic, once again, looks so hopeless. So defeated. He's accepted his fate. He still wants to help the other Twilights. *Punches the wall* DAMNIT STOP HURTING MY BOY LIKE THIS!

Theo says Nic's contract has been "voided" and Nic says, "My master is going to a place where he doesn't need a Twilight anymore" while looking distraught in my opinion. That line makes it sound like he may have some idea of what Worick is doing. Or a more depressing interpretation is that he thinks he's useless and has been tossed aside, but I refuse to entertain that idea. And then he says he still has an order to follow. I think this is in reference to what Worick told him that night Nic killed his family — "I won't allow you to die that easy! You're going to hurt real bad before you die! The worst kind of pain you can imagine! That's an order!" Like, You're not allowed to die on me. I also think the order might be to keep Alex safe and get her out of the city (which is why he’s looking at the blood under his nails where he accidentally scratched her). And I want to point out that even though his contract is voided, Nic from this point on keeps constantly calling Worick his master. Maybe it's a sense of loyalty, or because he doesn't want Worick to leave him behind. I honestly can't say for sure, but it hurts me... I'm holding my head in my hands right now... ugh...

Finally, we have Alex closing the chapter. She comes back to Handymen HQ with the intention of it being the last time — "Barry, you were right. I was crazy to think I'd found a place where I belonged. I've never had a home I could come back to. And I'm sure this time, I'll never come back here again." I'm NOT crying. But then, she finds a beheaded body the moment she walks through the door.

I gotta say, I laughed a little here because the first thing Alex does after realizing what she’s looking at is to lock the door and close the window shutters. Her first instinct is to try and make sure nobody finds out that one of the boys BEHEADED A MAN in their living room. I mean, yeah she was freaked out by the body, but more so than that, she didn’t want the boys to get in trouble for murder!!! Whether she thinks they did it or not is unclear, but even if they did, it doesn’t matter to her! She trusts them 100%!!! She did meet them murdering Barry and all, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Alex, you boobalicious babe, you’re such a real one!!!!! She might make a great getaway driver, tbh.

Anyways, back to the scenes ruining my life:

By this point in the chapter, I’m just sitting in front of a tissue box with a pile of used tissues in my lap… I’m reading through tears. I can’t see shit.😭😭😭

Right after she tries to cover the boys’ asses for homicide, her train of thought goes down memory lane. Her eyes wander around the room, recalling her life since Barry, and the men who saved her from the streets of Ergastulum, asking for nothing in return. We see a note from Worick and an envelope of money he left for Alex, bloody hand prints everywhere. Even in the midst of him BEHEADING A MAN IN THE LIVING ROOM, making some extremely risky moves, and heading into the lion’s den, he still thought of Alex — not wanting her to get wrapped up in their mess and the turmoil that's enveloping the city. I am bouncing off the walls, crying, screaming… I love them....... The care and love they all have for each other is... *sobbing*

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Before moving onto the scene from chapter 56 that I've literally made my desktop background, I wanted to dig a little further into whatever Worick is planning, so I'm going to jump to chapters 50-51.

I said that I don't think Worick filled Nic in on the plan, so I was wondering how Nic felt about what his partner was up to. We get a scene where he looks shocked when he's told, "Your contract holder, Storage (Worick), has committed taboo." And I'M over here like, Nic, are we freaking out? Are we chill? What’s the vibe buddy? I can’t tell if we’re in trouble or not...

But then:

He smiled. Okay, so Nic seems okay with this. Now I can breathe a little.

The flashback scenes of the boys when they were working for Monroe show that they had a good relationship with Miles. It looks like they genuinely cared for each other. Miles even says that if his son was still alive, it would be nice if he was like Worick. So while I still have faith that Worick knows what he's doing, and after being reassured by Nic's smile, I must say the flashback portion did add salt to the wound. At first, when Worick shows up with the head, I started to think if there was any possibility that he didn't actually kill Miles and that it was a trick or something. Later, however, at the end of chapter 43, we check in with Alex and see the beheaded body at the Handymen's home. Unless there's some kind of twist, I guess he really did kill him and that makes me sad after seeing these flashback pages. Now I'm wondering how Worick feels about everything. He's clearly under a lot of pressure. I'd like to see more from him in future chapters about all this.

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And now, the scenes that've been living rent-free in my head...

Captured by the Paulklee Guild, Nic and Alex have some tender af moments. In chapter 53, Alex wakes up and immediately starts asking about Nic's injuries and apologizes for not being able to do anything. He cuts her off by placing the back of his hand over her mouth and responds with this:

Nic: "You missed your chance to hightail it out of here again, slowpoke."

Alex: "...Yeah... I guess I did."

I LOVE THEM!!!🥺❤️

This is the most... what do you even call it? Tender? Loving? Casually comfortable? Whatever it is, they are totally clicking now!!! And it continues in this scene that had me kicking my feet and crying buckets in chapter 56:

Alex: "He's even got scars behind his ears..."

Nic: "...WhAT?"

Alex: "I always thought you were completely different from him."

Nic: "WhAT abOUt NOw?"

Alex: "You suck."

Nic: "Heh."

"No need for you to answer the phone anymore. So what do you wanna do now? You can go back to being a prostitute, or keep chasing after my master. If you wanna keep playing diva, that's fine too. If you wanna break out of here, I'll make it happen."

Alex: "Hm..."

Nic: "ChoOSe wHAteVer yOu WAnt, bECaUse yoU'Re diffERenT fRoM Us."

Alex: "...Yeah."

When she reaches for him, Nic's reflex is to grab Alex's hand when he feels something approaching from behind. Then he notices her hand is injured from when he hurt her during his seizure. There are panels of him before this looking at blood under his nails, probably from digging them into Alex's hand. He lets go and signs, "Sorry." I want to point out, there's NO text box for this sign. I don't know any Japanese sign language other than "thank you" because this manga taught me that one. That's a lie, I also know "kill" which is sure to come in handy. But it's incredible how I know that he signed "sorry" without knowing the sign for it. They didn't put a text box for that sign and they didn't need to! So good. Peak. This is peak fiction I say unironically. They joke and banter while in a grim situation, and it's tooth-rottingly sweet.

Nic, who’s usually on guard, is completely relaxed now. He lets Alex caress him. Worick, who usually has a calm and cool facade on, is tense after his nightmare, unable to keep his usual mask up. He too, lets Alex caress him, and we get mirrored pages of Nic in the current moment and Worick from chapter 16. They trust her and Alex is trusting them after suffering abuse at the hands of others, growing closer to them. All three of them allow themselves to have some vulnerability with one another after living such harsh lives, constantly clawing to survive.

Then, Nic tells Alex to do whatever her heart desires. Whatever she wants, he'll make it happen. She's "different" and doesn't have to be stuck in this crappy cycle like them. But she looks a bit upset when he says this. Like she's mad he thinks they're doomed to live a hopeless existence and to suggest she abandon them for her own sake. I'm hoping that now Alex is mostly recovered from her withdrawals, we'll get to see more of her kindness with the boys and helping them in their time of need like they did for her.

They're so soft.........

I personally don’t perceive any of the intimate scenes we get throughout the manga as romantic. I don’t think there’s going to be a love triangle or that Alex is going to get paired up with one of the Handymen. Especially with the mirrored pages of Nic and Worick from Alex’s point of view in chapter 56 shows she loves them the same. I can understand why people would see these scenes as romantic, because honestly, they’re more “romantic” and emotional than a lot of romances out there. While talking to my friend, I jokingly referred to this as “platonic romance/romanticized friendship” where you love your homies and family so much and feel you’re able to bare your soul to them. I’m aware that Kohske-sensei has drawn old art of Nic and Alex as a couple, but that isn’t canon so I’m not counting it. You can ship your characters and not make them a couple in canon lol. But if she does go that route, I trust her to do it well.

Brief Shoutouts to Characters I Also Want to Talk About, But This Post Is Already Long Enough

Nina

I already talked about Nina in part one so I won’t say much more. But what’s up with her? Does she have some One Piece Haki powers or something??? Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Nina?

Theo

I’d like to think that Theo isn’t being as reckless with the experimental drug as it seems. We’ve seen that Theo is much kinder than he lets on. He obviously loves Nina (whenever he wraps his lab coat around her, it's so damn cute!!!) and he’s made it his mission to help the oppressed Twilights, even going as far as to make his own generic Cerebret which puts a target on his back. So yeah, Theo is great and I’m hoping he figures out a way to let Nic and the other Twilights live long, healthy lives. And there's a lot about Twilight biology that we don't know, and I hope Theo gets some answers. In particular, I'm curious about their psychology, especially after what happened with Delico and Monroe. And since a lot of the story leans towards a Worick-centric perspective, I want to know more about what Nic's thinking.

Marco and Constance

I want to say a lot but I’m still in mourning right now so I’m just gonna say — Marco, Connie, you guys were such badasses and deserved better… I know Marco was a war criminal but that wasn’t his fault and he’s a sweet guy now, so we’re going to overlook it!

Kohske-sensei, how could you… I actually thought they’d survive.

Loretta

You know the cliche line that goes like, “Someone’s gotta make the hard choices,” or whatever? Yeah, that’s basically what Gina is doing in the latest chapters when she’s refusing to open the guild’s doors to the civilian Twilights. The thing is, people who do this are never making the actual hard choice. What they’re doing is easy — just sacrifice people you don’t care about and turn the other way. Especially easy if you don't have a big guilty conscience. Yes, Gina makes some points about why, and she’s not wrong, but I stand by what I said.

But Loretta? Nah, my girl Loretta is making the real hard choices. Characters who make choices like Gina see two options: A) Help people and inconvenience myself/cause myself to fall with them. B) Oh well. It’s unfortunate but what can you do? — not Loretta though. Those options are unacceptable so she chooses “Option C”, also known as the actual hard choice.

“Option C” in any narrative (and in real life as well) is always the one that takes the most effort and the most commitment. You have to forge the path for “Option C” yourself. Loretta is going to have to put a ton of work in and stay on top of things if she’s going to have any chance of success. Thankfully, not only is she amazing, she’s wise enough to know she can’t do it alone and asks Gina to release Nic, Alex, Nina, and Theo so they can lend a hand.

LORETTA SWEETIE YOU’RE DOING AMAZING! When she was calling Gina out to “make the humane choice” with that look in her eyes, I was like, DAMN GIRL, GET HER ASS! I am rooting for you sis!!!

Veronica

Everyone seems to be blaming the Handymen, and Nic in particular for whatever happened to Veronica. We don't have much to work with, but part of me thinks that Nic and Veronica both had/have the bad habit of overdosing and it didn't end well for her. Like, she bit off more than she could chew and they both had self-destructive tendencies? Maybe... idk. When Gina shot Nic full of downers that one time, she did say, "I believe I've already told you to quit overdosing on Cerebret. Especially the uppers. Do you want to end up like Veronica?" I think Gina cares about him even if she would never admit it, dawww. There is more to it though, but we don't have enough info right now. And I need to stew on her for a while, so I don't have much to say at the moment.

Monroe

The way Monroe spoke about Delico was… a red flag. He likely did the same with Nic. In the Blu-ray extra manga, we see a bit of how he talks about Nic in a similar way when he was a child. Monroe isn’t much different than Gaston Brown. He’s a father figure who uses people, particularly Twilights, as tools/weapons. He’s abusive and manipulative. But his way of going about it is different. He’s won the affection of those he abuses because of his charm and giving a place of belonging and a support system to those who have nothing. These are common reasons why people join gangs in real life as well, but I won’t get into that here. It would be interesting to see more of how the Handymen’s relationship was with Monroe when they were younger. I wonder if they were to look back, would they start to realize signs of his manipulation from their childhoods with their current perspective?

Everyone else

Shoutout to everyone I didn’t name. I love a lot of the characters in GANGSTA. and those who I don’t love, I still find interesting. But, my shoulders hurt so let’s end it here.

I'm... Done...

I feel like I could have picked apart the characters more, panel by panel, and there's stuff in GANGSTA: Cursed, but I had to stop somewhere.

I'm super happy that I finished catching up to this series on chapter 56. I loved the chapter as I've made abundantly clear already, and I can't wait to see how things shake out. So many questions I want answered!

Godspeed, my son.

If you’ve made it this far… you’re a real one 🫡

#GANGSTA.#manga #manga recs #manga recommendation #manga discussion #seinen manga #漫画 #おすすめ #青年漫画 #ギャングスタ

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