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writing-essence · 4 years

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It Ate My Cat

Chapter One: Sheet Faced

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader

Warnings: language, underage drinking, sexual harassment (billy being an ass)

Summary: You’ve known Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington since your first days moving to Hawkins. What happens when you get wrapped up in his interdimensional babysitting adventure with your younger brother?

Author’s Note: I started writing this a year ago and it’s all I've been thinking about. Another friends to lovers slow burn you’re welcome! -Milla

Word Count: 1,756

"Hey, Y/N! Tina from my chemistry class handed me a flyer to go to her Halloween Bash. I heard it's gonna be totally bitchin!" Amber, your friend, approached you holding a bright orange paper waving in her hand.

"Well,” you sighed, “I hope you have fun but I promised my mom I'd hand out the candy this year." You shut your locker turning on your heel down the hall.

"Oh c'mon I'm sure your mom won't mind and we don't have to show up 'til 8," she started to plead. "We haven't been to a party in forever and you need to talk to someone other than me, your brother or your cat."

You rolled your eyes and groaned. "Okay fine, I'll ask if I can go out. Happy?" She nodded her head with a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. Amber was definitely more of the partier, it's not that you didn't like parties it's just too much of a gamble. Either you dance away into the night or you end up with your friends vomit on your shoes and your white t-shirt soaked by two idiots in the pool. And in your experience, it’s usually the ladder. You were unlocking your bike when Amber nudged your arm.

"So I'll meet you at your house around 7 tomorrow to get ready okay?"

"Is it a costume thing?" You asked and she nodded her blonde head. "So what are we even going to be? I don't have time to put together a costume. I still have to finish my brother's.”

"Don't worry about it, I got this. It'll be good, trust me," she winked waltzing off to the upper parking lot. She was a persuasive one.

The house was empty by the time you got home. Mom was at work and Dustin was most likely at the arcade with the party as they called themselves. "Well Mews, it looks like it's just you and me again," you said scratching under her chin. After grabbing an apple you headed to your room and pulled Dustin's costume out of the closet. After two hours of pricking your finger and pulling loose threads, you were finally finished. Dustin had gotten home about a half-hour ago from, you guessed it, the arcade.

"Dustin! I finished your costume!" You called. You heard the door next to yours open and a haphazard shuffle down the hall. He burst into your room zooming to where you sat at your desk.

"Thanks, Y/N, this is awesome!" His eyes were wide as he examined your handy work.

"Yeah sure and like we agreed you're doing dishes this month." His smile faltered but begrudgingly muttered out a confirmation and left the room still immersed in the costume.

You were helping your mom with dinner and decided now was as good a time as ever to ask about skipping candy duty tomorrow. "So mom, I finished Dusty's costume today. He loves it!" She nodded and mumbled an approving response. You cleared your throat, "ya know Amber invited me to her friends Halloween party and I know I said I'd help with candy duty but she really wants me to go," you continued nonchalantly chopping the vegetables until she replied.

"Oh sweetie, of course, you can go to a party! I didn't want you to feel left out tomorrow with Dusty going with his friends tomorrow since you’re usually the one to watch them, but now that you have plans, of course, you can go out!" She enthused.

You were taken aback as you thanked her. Maybe Amber was right, you did need to get out more. The kids were getting older and didn't need you to tag along on with them anymore. As fond, as you were of the rambunctious group, Johnathan had it covered. It was time for you to let loose for a night.

The next day flew by quick. Mom couldn't get over the costume you made for Dustin, absolutely gushing when taking pictures, the history test wasn't nearly as hard as you thought it'd be, and apparently, John and Becky were back together, at least according to Amber. Dustin had gone over to Mike’s so for the time being you were on candy duty. It was nearing 7 o'clock when there was a knock on the door revealing Amber and not a group of trick-or-treat-ers. She grabbed your arm and dragged you to your room with a bag in hand.

"Okay, I have the costumes!” She flung the paper bag across your bed. “You'll be Spock and I'll be Captain Kirk because I'm cooler." She pulled out a blue dress and tossed it to you. She had forced you to watch Star Trek a few times before and recalling what you had seen there was only a small issue.

"Woah, woah, woah does that mean I have to have weird eyebrows?" You asked. Amber simply sighed defeated.

"Okay fine you don't have to do the eyebrows!” she reasoned slowly inching towards you. “But in my heart, I know who you really are," she landed her pointer finger on your forehead. Looking up cross-eyed you pushed her hand away.

"You really are the weirdest person I know," you took the dress and changed.

You two rolled up to the party before 9 after getting ready and narrowly escaping your mother’s camera. The party was in full swing, a group of boys were in a huddle shouting what vaguely sounded like "Keg King" the boy in the middle was the new guy at school. The second you stepped in the door Amber headed straight for the punch which could only be spiked with god knows what. She handed you a cup and you swirled it around taking in your surroundings. She dragged you to the dance floor. While nursing your drink amidst the sweaty teenage bodies you started to let go. Nobody had a care in the world until Steve and Nancy made a scene by the punch bowl. As quick as the party stopped and all eyes were on them they shifted back to the music. You were finishing up your first cup while Amber was on her third.

"I hope we get arrested for underage drinking," she slung an arm over your shoulder.

"Why's that?" You asked knowing she's a lightweight, at this point in the night she was a goner.

"Because have you seen the sheriff? That ass in those pants wooo!" She lifted her cup to the air and spun around stumbling spilling some of her drink.

"Okay, that's enough for you," You snorted taking the cup from her hand and placing it down on the counter. "Let's go sit down alright?" She nodded, giggling, continuing her inappropriate comments about the chief. Pushing through the crowded hallway you managed to find an empty room. You propped her up on the couch and handed her a cup of water. After much wrangling trying to get her to sober up, you went to refill the water. As you were walking down the hall the new guy caught up to you. You kept your head down breaking any eye contact and yet there he was still blocking your path.

"I don't think we've met, you know my name?" He asked leaning against the wall too close for comfort.

"Keg King?" You quipped at the denim-clad teen.

"Damn right it is!" He shouted and started chanting the nickname towards the group of boys behind him. The gaggle of goons continued their chant to the living room, leaving their king behind. "Name’s Billy. And you?" He asked turning back to you putting his hand on your arm. You shook it off and reluctantly answered. "Well, Y/N what do you say we find an empty room?" His hand traveled to your waist. You flinched away from his grasp.

"In your dreams," you tried to push forward toward the kitchen but he closed you in against the wall.

"Let's try that again," his grip tightened to the point of hoping you wouldn't end up with a bruise tomorrow. You struggled to try to free yourself from between him and the wall. You started to panic when someone shouted from up the hall.

"Hey, asshole leave her alone!"

You turned and saw Steve Harrington making his way towards the scene. He shoved Billy off of you and body checked him into a painting opposite you. Billy steadied himself to fight back but Steve had already stormed off through the crowd.

"Hey!" You ran after him weaving through the mess of drunken teens. "Steve!" He ignored your calls rushing outside towards his car. "Hey, Harrington!" You heaved catching your breath as he stood next to his car his back turned to you.

"What?" He snapped.

"I- just wanted to say-" you hesitated at his outburst, stepping closer. Your gratitude was interrupted by sniffling, “-are you okay?"

His keys jiggled as they hit the pavement. Before you could do anything arms were thrown around you and tears hit your shoulder. Unsure of the etiquette of the position you were in you patted his back and murmured words of comfort. Quickly he pulled away running his hands through his hair mumbling an "I'm sorry"

"You know Harrington we really have to stop meeting like this," you laughed trying to make light of the situation. He just shook his head staring at the ground. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"She dumped me."

"What Nancy? I mean I know you guys had a punch incident but don't you think-" he cut you off.

"She said it was bullshit, everything." There was a flicker in his eye and he turned to his car. "Bullshit!" He kicked the front tire, aggression masking the tears. Your instincts jumped in from all of Dustin’s sporadic incidents over the years.

"Hey, hey, hey,” you jumped forward. “Look I get that it sucks but breaking your foot won't be much help,” you grabbed his shoulders leading him away from the scuffed tire. "Are you sure you’re okay to drive?"

He looked up at me and nodded slowly letting out a deep breath. He unlocked his car door and looked back at you apologetically. "Uh thanks for- for that," he shrugged unsure what to call the exchange, you gave him a small smile in return.

"Stay safe Harrington," you said starting to walk backward towards the party.

"You too Henderson."

With that, he started up his car while you tracked down your very drunk friend.

#steve harrington #stranger things #billy hargrove #dustin henderson #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington series #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things imagine #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington oneshot #stranger things series

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rewolfaekilerom · 3 years

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ginny & georgia is good.

//NOTE: This was originally posted to Wordpress on 05.01.2021//

Let me start by saying that I tried to think of a clever title for this post, but all I could think of was the simple fact that I really like Ginny & Georgia. Excuse my lack of cleverness this week. I’m not sure if it’s my body responding to the first vaccine dose or if it’s the fog of seasonal allergies, but my brain is mush; my sense of smell is also not right. Also, Bug scratched the hair off of one of her ears (I’m pretty sure that’s seasonal allergies, poor thing) and I’ve spent a cumulative 15 hours this past week rendering, exporting, and uploading one single video onto YouTube for work (lost story short: I’m back at the rendering stage after I realized the audio got unsynced in the second half of the video. Ugh). It’s been a WEEK.

Excuses, excuses.

So, while I wait for my laundry and as I take a break from New Pokemon Snap (omg, it’s so good), I thought I’d brain-vomit my thoughts about Ginny & Georgia. Proving true to the portrait I gave of myself in my last post, I’m happy (or embarrassed?) to say that I watched Ginny & Georgia (henceforth G&G) twice this week. I finished episode 10 and immediately started rewatching episode 1, and it’s taking everything in me to not start rewatching for a third time. But depending on what you consider a week, I might be on week two now? ANYWAY.

I’ll start this brain-dump by saying, again, I really like this show. I described it to friends as a cross between Gilmore Girls and Pretty Little Liars or Outer Banks–maybe with a touch of Dexter. I don’t think it’s just that, but I think that’s a good way to summarize how it feels to watch the show, and those are good things in my book. GG and Dexter are probably in my top 5 favorite TV shows, and OB is up there too. I’ve watched OB through twice, and it definitely quenched my mid-winter thirst for the beach and my perpetual desire for a solid mystery/intrigue. I grew up watching the Travel Channel, so any show set in an even moderately interesting locale is immediately catching my interest. Oh, and I watched the entire PLL series with my mom while I was a teenager and even after I went away to college; it was “our show”–our way of sharing cultural ground even when I was away from home for the first time. We watched each episode together when it aired on TV, and we’d be the first to admit that the show was–at best–illogical, comically dramatic, and unrealistic to the umpth degree. But sometimes it’s fun to watch a show and laugh at its absurdity.

G&G doesn’t fall into the same traps that a lot of those types of teen shows do. It has drama and intrigue; it has sex and “teen problems” (which are really just person problems). But it also has real conversations about race and sexuality and parent-child relationships that go beyond the CW/Freeform problem-for-problem’s-sake model (hi, PLL)) or the WB squeaky-clean-problems approach (I’m talking to you, Seventh Heaven). It takes a Skins approach to issues young people face–well, if Skins was made for a puritanical US audience, but not THAT US Skins reboot. We’ll never talk about that. Shhh. Look away.

I’m not going to rehearse the plot of G&G, so look it up for yourself right now. I’ll wait.

Just kidding. I’m not waiting. Go look it up on your own time.

The similarities between G&G and GG are glaring (hell, Georgia even calls herself and Ginny the Gilmores with bigger boobs). In both, you have a young, single mom who had her daughter at 15/16 and then ran away from home. The mom is plucky, charismatic, and doesn’t always navigate the world by making the most, er, ethical choices. The daughter initially seems a bit more reserved and like she wants to play by the rules, but deep down is just a younger version of the mother, and that comes out of the course of the series. The two relate to one another as friends, but it’s complicated by the fact that they’re parent and child and that there is an inherent power imbalance there. The daughter is a little too mature for her own good and the mother is a little too immature for her own good. They butt heads, usually over the mother’s past and present choices (particularly regarding men) and the daughter’s present and future choices (also often regarding men). Their fights and falling outs are truly spectacular–they fight like only a mother and daughter could, but they also love one another–though they can’t express that love in the most logical or legible ways. They’re dysfunctional in every way you could imagine, and they really should be in family counseling.

But that’s not all. If that were it, I’d say, “oh, boohoo, they have similar types of characters. As if this is novel? Hasn’t this been done before? Get off your high horse.” NO. The parallels between these two shows go WAY deeper than that. Georgia is Lorelei and Ginny is Rory–hell, their naming practices are even similar. Georgia named herself after the state she was in the first time she had to come up with a pseudonym; this initiated a naming practice wherein she names her children after the cities/states they’re born in–hence Ginny, for Virginia. Rory is a nickname for Lorelei. (Side note: Lorelei is a hard name to type.)

Fine, fine. But we also have the tripartite relationship dynamics. Lorelei’s Big Three are Christopher, Max, and Luke; Georgia’s are Zion (Ginny’s dad and Georgia’s “penguin”–still not positive what that means, except that they can’t let go of one another?), Paul (the mayor, a white collar, public-facing profession), and Joe (the cafe/restaurant owner). If teenaged Rory has Dean and Jess, Ginny has Hunter and Marcus, respectively; Rory and Ginny obviously belong with the “bad boy”–they have infinitely better chemistry and get one another–but struggle with how good they “look” with the good guy, who’s actually kind of a judgmental jerk (as the bad guy points out).

Stars Hollow looks a whole lot like Wellsbury–hell, they’re both in New England. Wellsbury IS the most New England town name ever. Period. I love me some picturesque New England town bullshit.

Oh, and the side characters. Ellen and Sookie fill the same niche, and it’s a good one. They’re easily the most likable characters in both shows, and their husbands are genuinely funny characters in their own rights. GG has the sexually ambiguous (until he’s not) but oh-so-sarcastic Michel while G&G has Nick. Arguably, you could lump Kirk in with Michel to get Nick, but Nick isn’t as bumbling as Kirk, so maybe that point doesn’t stand. Hell, for friends Rory has the angel and devil on her shoulders in the form of Lane and Paris; Ginny has Max and Abby. And if Stars Hollow has Taylor Doose, Wellsbury has Cynthia Fuller. The list goes on.

Of course, a staple of GG is Emily and Richard Gilmore, but we glimpse that in G&G’s flashbacks to Zion’s parents, who help Georgia and Zion when the two first have Ginny. They’re similarly exasperated with their child’s choices and come off as a little overbearing but nonetheless have good intentions. They don’t have nearly as much screen time as Emily and Richard, which is a shame, but they serve a similar function.

Oh! And the flashbacks. They’re one of the charming parts of GG–they give us really important backstory on Lorelei’s life and life choices prior to the series’ start (and Rory’s birth, frankly). They’re less charming in G&G because Georgia’s background is far darker than GG ever could or would have conjured.

This gets me to why G&G isn’t just a GG rip-off. G&G isn’t just a woke GG. It isn’t just GG with people of color, in the LGBTQIA+ community, of varied socioeconomic classes, or from outside New England. If you like GG, you might like G&G, but you also might not. G&G addresses real life challenges teenagers, women, people of colorm hell, most Americans face in 2021. It depicts the US in its multiple angles, some of which are very, very ugly. Some might say that it’s GG for 2021, and maybe it is, but if that’s true, I’m not sure it’s a bad thing. I’m just not sure it’s totally true.

I’m going to cool it on the GG-G&G comparisons for a moment and just talk about G&G because I think you get my point. Before I cool it completely, though, and as a point of departure, I’ll say that if we do go with the idea that G&G is GG for 2021, then we need to recognize what G&G does differently: it gives us glimpses into how a whole range of people experience the US, and it doesn’t look away from ugly, unflattering, hateful truths that reside just below the surface of sparkly, shiny, pretty, picture-perfect towns. It doesn’t shy away from reality, even if that reality is uncomfortable for white, middle-class, cis, het viewers.

The important things about G&G that I haven’t yet mentioned in specifics are a’plenty.

Ginny (and Hunter) is mixed-race, a subject that comes up on a number of occasions in the form of explicit conversations about how being mixed-race doesn’t necessarily mean belonging to two communities but can instead mean feeling out of place in both. It also comes up in a very hard-to-watch argument between Ginny and Hunter where the two trade insults about one another’s lack of belonging; the argument escalates into a screaming match in which the two effectively diminish not only one another’s claims to their Black (in Ginny’s case) and Taiwanese (in Hunter’s case) identities but also the prejudices they experience at the hands of a hegemonic white society that systematically denies opportunities or a sense of belonging (among other things) for those who don’t fit into readily identifiable “boxes.”

Georgia ran away from her childhood home in rural, impoverished Arkansas because she was being sexually abused by her stepfather, who then went on to sexually abuse her half-sister.

Georgia has killed people, often for “legitimate” (???) reasons, including posing threats to Ginny.

Georgia used to be in a biker gang and still has connections with at least one member, a lawyer she has on retainer to help her “disappear” her misdeeds, including said murders.

Marcus and Ginny have struggled (or are currently struggling) with self-harm and suicide ideation.

Literally every single one of the teenagers in this show is under immense pressure to over-engage in extracurricular activities that will make them competitive candidates at top universities.

Parents’ unhealthy relationships with one another, divorce, and everything else in that realm also shape the teenaged characters’ lives.

Abby struggles with an eating disorder that’s fueled in part by comments her male peers (notably, an asshole named Press) about her body. Male characters make sexist, stereotyping comments to Ginny about her body, too.

I’ll stop there, but I do so with full knowledge that I’m likely leaving something out. Hell, as I type this I remember that Austin (Ginny’s younger half-brother) literally stabs a kid in the hand and there’s a private detective trying to figure out Georgia’s past, including if/how she murdered her previous husband (the impetus for the family’s move). Like I said, there’s so much more to this show than just its similarities with GG. But I’ve also seen articles online decrying viewers who make the connection, and I don’t think that’s quite the right approach. The show clearly isn’t copying GG. Even if G&G did take inspiration from GG, it takes that inspiration in a fresh direction.

I wonder, though, about how we, the viewers, are supposed to respond to certain aspects of the show.

For instance, the show pits the US South as the source of obvious Bad Stuff ™–child abuse, incest, poverty, etc.– and the US Northeast as a place where the Bad Stuff ™ is hidden beneath a picture-perfect veneer. I get what the show’s creators are going for. They’re attempting to give us a multidimensional perspective on the US in all its prettiness and ugliness, but I wonder if associating the South with only the Bad Stuff ™ is doing a disservice to a region that has a rich cultural past and present–a past and present that’s certainly included problems like poverty, racism, and abuse but cannot be defined by those things alone because those things are not all that’s there. To tie those things primarily to just one region because those are stereotypes that are often perpetuated about that region seems a bit . . . overly simplistic? Troublesome? Dare I use the old grad-student favorite–problematic? It’s too easy–it’s lazy, in fact–to pit South against Northeast as the source of the US’s outright ugliness. It’s the rhetoric surrounding the 2016 presidential election all over again, and, frankly, we could all use a break.

The other thing that regional competition does is it makes it possible for the show to gloss over the fact that those Bad Things ™ exist in the Northeast, too. I feel silly saying that because it seems so obvious, but the simplistic portrait the show paints of the US means that it sacrifices accurate representation and complexity for the sake of–well, actually, I’m not sure what it’s for the sake of. Maybe straightforward storytelling? That might make sense if the show didn’t dwell in other complexities and commit itself to attempting to represent other identities and aspects of American life with some degree of accuracy, so I don’t know.

I can’t speak to whether the show accurately represents the experiences of mixed-race people, LGBTQIA+ people, or people with disabilities. I suspect that it represents the experiences of some people accurately but, of course, not all people because that would be impossible. I’m also not sure if I think the show’s commitment to representing a variety of experiences of US life borders on tokenism. I can’t speak for how someone who occupies one of those subject positions experiences the show because I do not occupy that subject position. My gut reaction is that the show does seem to make an effort to go beyond the whole “look at us, we cast all sorts of people in our show” by attempting to humanize all of its characters as real humans with rich, complex lives. It weaves the characters’ lives into a tight web, making clear that a character like Max and Marcus’s dad isn’t noteworthy just because he’s deaf. You don’t look at Clint and think “oh, that’s the deaf character.” You think, oh, that’s Clint; he’s Ellen’s husband, Max and Marcus’s dad, he’s deaf, he makes pithy remarks about his over-the-top daughter and slacker son, and he performs strip-teases for his wife. He’s noteworthy because he’s an engaged (and absolutely hilarious) husband and father whose deafness is one of many identities of his that influences his children’s lives as any other cultural identity would influence a family’s dynamic. The entire family is (at least) bilingual, communicating in sign language and spoken English while also teaching their sign language skills to friends and significant others. His deafness is one identity among many that the show invests him with, and he’s not in all that many scenes.

I could be wrong, but that was my experience while watching the show and thinking about it a bit afterward and while writing this post.

The show depicts mixed-race identity in a complex way, too, but it dwells on it a bit longer and with a bit more detail. I mentioned that Ginny and Hunter are both of mixed-race parentage and that their mixed-race identities become a subject of a relationship-ending argument. To back up a bit, though, the show attempts to paint a vivid portrait of the challenges Ginny in particular faces as a she navigates middle-class, white suburbia as the daughter of a Black father and a white mother. We see how she reacts when a police office walks toward her at a gas station while she pumps gas in her mother’s BMW, when a teacher tells her she’s being “aggressive” (while her classmates, who display similar behaviors, are unremarked upon), when her hair frizzes out after her friends pressure her to let another student’s white mom brush her curls into a ponytail using a boar-bristle brush, when a male friend (multiple male friends?) tells her that she doesn’t look like a stereotypical Black girl, and, among other things, when another student asks her “what are you?” in an attempt to pinpoint her racial/ethnic identities. Each instance is painful to watch because the actress who plays Ginny plays her well; the camera stays trained on her face as she responds to each of these interactions, allowing the viewer to observe the range of emotions she feels as she repeatedly navigates a community of peers and adults who can’t get their shit together and respect her existence. These interactions aren’t quirky neighbors asking silly questions about why she hangs her laundry a certain way or informing her that she needs to only mow her lawn on Thursdays. These are interactions that repeatedly undermine her sense of belonging, that tell her she’s somehow different, and that question her very right to exist. It’s heartbreaking, but I think it’s important that it’s depicted because that’s reality for many, many people.

The scene with Hunter is interesting because it shows the two turning something that was common-ground into a source of conflict for them. I’m not entirely sure how to read this scene. It’s difficult to watch because it rapidly descends into a “who is the most disenfranchised?” competition rather than a respectful conversation about each partner’s different experiences with prejudice. I wondered if the subtext here was some commentary on how members of one racial community pit themselves against members of other racial communities. (I’m not being clear here, and I’m struggling to clarify even as I go back to edit this post. I guess what I mean is that, when I initially watched this scene, I worried that this was a negative commentary on the Black community in particular and how it engages with other racial communities. I hope that makes sense.) Frankly, I’m still not sure if that’s not what’s happening there or if that’s not what was intended. What I’m fairly certain of, though, is that the scene makes clear that we, the viewer, are being told pretty explicitly that we can’t identify the two as “good partners” on the sole basis that they have mixed-race parentage in common. In other words, the scene undermines the idea that experience of racial prejudice is the only (or even the most important) factor that brings two people together and makes them good partners for one another. It also undermines the belief that experiencing prejudice doesn’t mean a person is automatically awakened to the prejudices other people also experience.

This is also one of the scenes where Ginny truly is unlikeable. Hunter is, too, but he’s unlikeable in a number of scenes throughout the show. He’s the Good Guy™ character in a nutshell–says all the right things, does all the right things, is all the right things, but maybe isn’t all those things for all the right reasons. In this scene, Ginny enacts the prejudicial treatment she’s suffered at the hands of her peers against Hunter; she questions the validity of his identity and the veracity of his experiences of prejudice at the hands of his peers. This scene is the breaking-point where the two have to come to terms with the fact that they’re not compatible even though, on some surface and by some set of metrics, they might appear to be.

Hunter sucks, but so does Marcus–for different reasons, though. Marcus is detached, withdrawn, sarcastic, unmotivated, disrespectful, and dishonest. He’s unaware–and doesn’t attempt to improve at all on this–of how his actions impact other people. He just doesn’t care about anyone but himself–until he does, a little bit. Some part of me has sympathy for Marcus and genuinely likes him; I’ll blame the show for that. Another part of me–the part that’s 30 years old and has known plenty of Marcuses–doesn’t have time for his shit. I’m conflicted, but the majority of me wants Marcus and Ginny to end up together because the things they have in common and the things that bring them together are the things that most people look for in a relationship. Marcus is a lazy shit most of the time, but he makes a genuine effort to understand Ginny. By the end of the season, we see that he also respects her and accepts her as she is–warts and all. He seems to genuinely want the best for her, which is a nice development in character from our first introduction to him, tumbling out of his mother’s minivan after having been caught smoking weed on a street corner. Again, though, he wasn’t always so respectful. His past behaviors make it hard to trust him, so it makes sense when Ginny doesn’t bring him along at the end of the season. It does, though, make you hope that he’s back in season 2 and that we get to see more of their relationship.

Speaking of which, I hope that season 2 also explores Georgia and Joe’s relationship a bit more. It seems like they’re headed in the Lorelei-Luke direction, which will make me happier than words could express, but I could also see the show’s creators flipping the script on us and setting Joe up with his own gloomy backstory–something to do with the ethically ambiguous labor situation he’s got going on at his farm and in his cafe, perhaps? Still, I think that might make him and Georgia even better suited for one another than they already are. After all, he’s one of the first people who showed Georgia true, genuine kindness after she ran away as a teenager.

And of course I want more of Ellen in season 2. The actress who plays her is hilarious and her character is just . . . really likable.

On a somewhat lighter note, one little thing I noticed while watching the show is that the characters slap their thighs a lot. This, again, might by my seasonal allergies brain, but the “[slaps thighs]” notation on closed captioning came up an infinite number of times over the course of this show. It came up so often that I started thinking you could catch the entire plot of the show if someone just spliced together every instance where a character sighs and slaps their thighs. I’d watch that video.

After all that, I still think the parallels to GG are there, but I still defend that G&G is also more than those parallels. And the “more” it offers is good. It’s intrigue; it’s gloomy realities and often-ignored truths that don’t offer viewers a sunny break from reality. But I think that’s good. I don’t like the argument that TV should be a “break from reality” or that a show is good on the sole basis that it offers us a “break from reality.” I think that argument is an excuse used to defend media that is too lazy to do the responsible thing and convey storylines that are inclusive and meaningful.

Well, my laundry is done, so I have to go deal with that. Happy Saturday, and happy initial inoculation!

XOXO, you know.

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samanthasroberts · 5 years

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Easter eggs aren’t just the delicious chocolate treats Jesus brought back from the afterlife. They’re also hidden tidbits of awesomeness for those patient enough to look in places like video games and DVDs (those pancake-shaped movie things we all used to love). Well, as it happens, even our crappy old planet has some fun pop culture goodies tucked away. Luckily for you, we’re here to save you the trouble of aimlessly wandering the globe, and simply tell you about how …

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

One doesn’t typically encounter Star Wars props out in the wild, unless you count a food court as the wild and George Lucas as a prop. But thanks to social media’s ever-watchful, Sauron-like eye on our world, fans have spotted a full-sized X-Wing chilling in a random backyard, like some alternate version of The Last Jedi wherein Luke eschewed squatting in a filthy hut on an rocky island for sipping G&Ts poolside at a swank country estate.

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Reddit users also shared photos of the iconic spacecraft, housed on private property in Oakton, Virginia. Since Star Wars enthusiasts aren’t known for their tact and reserve (see: Mark Hamill’s monthly Purell bill), some fans hiked out there to get a closer look. They at least kept a safe distance so as not to alert the homeowner’s security, which is presumably some kind of Rancor.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

It isn’t clear whether the ship is a fan-made replica or a priceless original prop that’s being left out in the rain, kind of the nerd equivalent of lighting a cigar with a $100 bill. But until the day garden gnomes pool their resources to take down a moon-sized battle station, it’s the coolest lawn ornament around.

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Movie monsters are typically found on the big screen, in the nightmares of children, and sometimes awkwardly popping by the occasional hip-hop video. So you can imagine it would be pretty unnerving to stumble across one in real life. Especially if it’s somewhere completely unexpected. Like, say, at the bottom of a lake.

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Yes, that’s everyone’s favorite hockey enthusiast turned undead murder fiend Jason Voorhees, best known for the Friday The 13th franchise. And while you might think that after seeing him in lame talk show appearances and myriad shitty sequels, Jason isn’t scary anymore, well, that’s probably because you never ran into him while scuba diving. Which is unfortunate, because some devoted fan/lunatic with access to a snorkel put a life-sized Jason statue deep in a lake in Crosby, Minnesota.

The reason, other than the fact that it’s inherently funny to give divers involuntary diarrhea? The lake in question is called “Crystal Lake,” as in the same name as the lake from Friday The 13th. And since pulling off this stunt at the original filming location would involve dragging a corpse-like dummy through a herd of impressionable Boy Scouts, going with some random Minnesota lake with the same name seems like a good strategy.

Jason has been underwater since 2013, and more recent footage shows that he’s starting to look a little waterlogged and gross, like that Sea Monkey you left to rot in your childhood bedroom. Still, he remains, complete with his machete and anchored by a chain — seemingly a reference to the end of Friday The 13th Part VI, in which he is similarly restrained at the bottom Crystal Lake, not unlike David Blaine.

Only more emotive.

Of course, in the movies, Jason is later freed from the lake, goes on several more killing sprees, and is eventually frozen and resurrected in space in Jason X. So whoever this hilarious prankster is, he’d better get some NASA credentials ASAP if he wants to keep up with canon.

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Who among us hasn’t dreamt of visiting the starship Enterprise from Star Trek? It has a big-screen TV, luxurious apartments, and in later iterations, you could get hammered at a bar tended by Whoopi Goldberg. Well, it turns out you can visit the original Kirk-era Enterprise. All you have to do is trek to … a strip mall in upstate New York.

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

Located in Ticonderoga is the “Star Trek Original Series Set Tour,” which from the outside looks like an auto body shop run by sci-fi nerds. But on the inside, you step into a shockingly detailed replica of the original Enterprise set. Exciting for fans and disappointing for family road-trippers who only stopped in to use the bathroom that doesn’t exist in the 23rd century.

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

The tour has everything from the Sick Bay to the Transporter Room, even Kirk’s bedroom — though for authenticity’s sake, they should really add a half-naked green-skinned woman hiding behind a houseplant as you enter.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

And of course, no Enterprise would be complete without the glorified man cave that is the Bridge. Guests can even take a seat in a replica Kirk’s chair. That sucker is so convincing that you can practically smell the space STDs wafting off it.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

This Enterprise was built by Trek super-fan (and professional Elvis impersonator) James Cawley, who personally, painstakingly recreated the iconic set himself. The results were so successful that the real Captain Kirk, William Shatner, is set to visit Ticonderoga this spring. And if you can’t make it there in time, keep in mind that this is William Shatner we’re talking about, so it’s possible he’ll decide to live there from now on.

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Apart from the occasional authoritarian puppet government controlled by a shadowy cabal of evil wizards, the Harry Potter universe sounds like a fun place to live in. Sadly, you can’t transport yourself to that world of witches and wizards, no matter how many filthy subway walls you run into. The closest we’ve gotten are the theme parks, which are impressive if you can imagine that all the Hogwarts students took Polyjuice Potion to make themselves look like sweaty, tank-top-clad American tourists.

Thankfully, there is one way to get a taste of the Potter-verse in your day-to-day life, thanks to an unsuspecting giant corporation. For those who want a taste of wizard food but aren’t able to schlep out to Orlando or Hollywood, fans have put together a secret Harry Potter menu for Starbucks. Of course, this isn’t an official part of the chain’s menu, but rather a kind of “hack” concocted by people who know more about syrup than computers.

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Because Starbucks employees are mandated to cater to whatever insane whims their customers demand, modifying drinks isn’t irregular. So if you look up the recipe online, you can go in and order, say, a Butterbeer Frappuccino, or a glass of Pumpkin Juice. And they totally have to make it for you. It’s like magic, if magic was powered by making customer service jobs even more frustrating.

Still, it’s a fun way to make going to a familiar chain into something magical. And unless you want to pretend that McNuggets are made of Thestral meat, it’s really your best option at this point.

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

If porn parodies have taught us anything, it’s that The Simpsons would be a brain-melting nightmare in real life, but that hasn’t stopped some from attempting to import parts of Springfield into our world. We’ve previously talked about how Simpsons fandom in Spain led to Homer-themed donut shops and the legally-in-the-clear “Krasty Burger.” Apparently, Argentina didn’t want to be left out of the copyright-infringing fun, because Moe’s Tavern totally popped up in the suburbs of Buenos Aires.

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

Even the interior was supposed to evoke Homer’s favorite watering hole. Unfortunately, it turns out that Fox is a bit of a stickler for intellectual property rights, and they put the kibosh on the project. They probably should have gone the Krasty Burger route and called it Toe’s Mavern or something. So now there’s just a Moe’s Tavern-shaped house in the ‘burbs for basically no reason.

This isn’t even the first time someone used bootleg Simpsons merch in order to get fans loaded. Counterfeit versions of Homer’s beer of choice, Duff, have been circulating in numerous South American countries for years. There was even a Duff beer festival featuring a performance from “the beautiful Duff girls”.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/02/05/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

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adambstingus · 5 years

Text

5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Only more emotive.

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182586892477

0 notes

allofbeercom · 5 years

Text

5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Only more emotive.

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

0 notes

junker-town · 6 years

Text

What’s the 1 thing you’d change about every NFL team’s 2017 season?

In the spirit of the holiday season, let’s imagine what each team would pick if Santa existed (WINK) and granted them all a do-over.

When the holiday season rolls around, it’s fun to pretend you live in the fairy-tale comfort of a Hallmark Christmas movie. (This isn’t just us, right?) It’s Christmas Eve, you’re thinking about that one big regret from this past year as you gaze out your frosted window into a perfect-looking winter wonderland that somehow exists in a world without global warming. Suddenly, a guardian angel or a loved one’s ghost or your future self appears, ready to help you change the past.

Now imagine instead of airing on your grandma’s favorite cable channel, it’s on NFL Network. What would be the one thing each team would change about this season?

Unfortunately, this film doesn’t exist, as far as we know (there are an Avogadro's number of streaming services out there now, so we’re only about 99.9 percent certain here.) But we do have our friends at the SB Nation NFL team sites, who were willing to look back and write about at what was, for most, a painful memory from 2017.

For some teams, this season has been one giant blow to the solar plexus after another, so narrowing the list to just one was difficult. For way too many of them, a major injury was the moment when everything changed.

Others thought that a certain position, player, or one specific game altered the course of the entire season. And sort of surprisingly, one shared regret was not signing 38-year-old Josh McCown.

In the spirit Tiny Tim, a few sites counted their blessings and had to reach to come up with something they’d want their teams to redo.

Here’s the one change our team sites would make if the Ghost of Christmas Past gave them a chance to do this season over again:

The cruel fate of injuries

This was an unfortunate theme of the 2017 season.

Baltimore Ravens: CB Jimmy Smith’s career season getting cut short

I’ve been a huge Jimmy Smith believer since day one. Wrote many articles about him over the past four years, and to watch his best season yet be lost to an Achilles tear is disheartening. He was in line for All-Pro recognition, awards and respect among the league, but it was taken from him due to a torn Achilles.

For more, check out the entire entry at Baltimore Beatdown.

Chicago Bears: How they handled guard Kyle Long’s injury

The one thing I would change about the Bears’ season is they should have allowed Kyle Long to get his body right before letting him play.

Long had offseason surgery on his ankle, but his labrum was also ailing after his 2016 season. He had some complications during his ankle rehab that slowed his readiness for training camp, and that also led to him deciding to put off the labrum surgery.

For more, check out the entire entry at Windy City Gridiron.

Houston Texans: Deshaun Watson tearing his ACL is the obvious (and right) answer

If DW4 hadn’t gotten hurt, he would have surely built upon the electric seven-game sample he tantalized NFL fans with. It’s also entirely possible, perhaps even probable, that he would have led the Texans back to the playoffs. In any event, Watson would have made Texans games appointment viewing again instead of the grim trudge to the finish line they’ve become since he went down.

For more, check out the entire entry at Battle Red Blog.

Indianapolis Colts: If only rookie safety Malik Hooker hadn’t gotten hurt

Hooker is a very young player who only started for a year in his final season at Ohio State. His rookie year was supposed to be all about him growing and developing into a star, all while making opposing quarterbacks pay for errant passes. This defense is being built around young players like Henry Anderson, Johnathan Hankins, Wilson, Melvin and Hooker. The more they can play together, the better it will be for 2018 when they can hit the ground running and be a really good defense. That will have to be put on hold, at least as far as Hooker is concerned.

For more, check out the entire entry at Stampede Blue.

Kansas City Chiefs: Eric Berry’s Achilles injury in the season opener

I can’t help but think what this season would be like if Berry were here. Do the Chiefs go on that losing streak? Does the defense give up 38 points to Josh “Tom Brady” McCown?

I know there’s no point in wondering about all that. It’s not going to change anything. Berry isn’t coming back his injury this year (although I have thought about what an amazing surprise entrance that would be if he did — like Sting returning to WCW in 1997).

For more, check out the entire entry at Arrowhead Pride.

Minnesota Vikings: Star rookie running back Dalvin Cook’s ACL injury

The Minnesota offense is doing well without Cook thus far, certainly. But having #33 in the lineup would make this offense even more dynamic than it already is. There aren’t very many things that I would change about this season thus far for the purple and gold, but if I got the chance to change one thing, we’d still have a healthy Dalvin Cook on the field.

For more, check out the entire entry at Daily Norseman.

New Orleans Saints: They got infected with the dreaded injury bug

The injury to Alex Okafor would be the top thing many would love to take back. Injuries in general are horrible, as the Saints have lost the likes of Nick Fairley, Alex Anzalone, Delvin Breaux, Coby Fleener, A.J. Klein, Nate Stupar, and Zach Strief - to name a few. Fairley’s heart diagnosis was practically a godsend, because the alternative would have been much worse. Klein’s absence is going to be felt, and at this point of the season, there’s not much the Saints can do to to compensate for his loss. Okafor out of the mix has been noticeable on the opposite end of Cam Jordan.

For more, check out the entire entry at Canal Street Chronicles.

If only this one game had gone differently ...

These teams are all still feeling the effects of the outcome or a decision in one game.

Carolina Panthers: Losing to the Bears (wait, that really happened?!)

I’m talking about the stink job the Panthers laid in Chicago back in Week 7. If the Panthers would have won that game (like they should have), they would be 11-3 right now instead of 10-4, would have a playoff spot guaranteed, and would be ahead of the Saints in the NFC South race. This season would be much more fun to talk about had the Panthers not lost that no-good, stupid, rotten, cursed game.

And worst of all - we lost to John Fox, y’all.

For more, check out the entire entry at Cat Scratch Reader.

Dallas Cowboys: Hanging Chaz Green out to dry against the Falcons

The Cowboys insistence on playing Chaz Green at left tackle for the injured Tyron Smith in the game against the Falcons, then giving him absolutely no help, even after it was obvious he was getting destroyed. Not only did this decision lose that game, but the Cowboys were not the same team for the next few games. Only now do they seem to have recovered from that calamity.

For more, check out the entire entry at Blogging the Boys.

New York Giants: Early loss to the Eagles sucked the life out of them

For me, though, the biggest thing I would change is the Week 3 loss to the Eagles.

Desperate for a win at 0-2, the Giants played the first three quarters as though the season was already over, trailing, 14-0, entering the final quarter. Then, a 24-point outburst that saw them take a pair of fourth-quarter leads.

This felt like the kind of sudden turnaround that can change a season. Until it fell apart, with the Giants getting a crushing defeat instead of an uplifting victory.

For more, check out the entire entry at Big Blue View.

Washington: A QB sneak against the Saints could’ve saved their season

When inches are all that you need, why not the keeper? Put a different guy back there for that one play if you are that afraid of getting Kirk [Cousins] hurt. I don’t believe that is the issue, because I don’t believe Kirk would ever make that an issue. If you are worried about signaling to the other team what your intentions are based on personnel, that is ridiculous. The other team knows you need a few inches. It is about to be a fight for those inches. Put your best fighters in, but for God’s sake...get those inches.

For more, check out the entire entry at Hogs Haven.

It all comes back to this position

These teams should’ve made better choices this offseason.

Arizona Cardinals: How they built their OL

The Cardinals had one season of what you could call success along the offensive line, 2015, and changed out 3/5 of that group. Then in 2017, they changed out 3/5 of the group again moving D.J. Humphries to left tackle and Jared Veldheer to right tackle with only Shipley and Iupati remaining intact.

The most important part of offensive line play is continuity… Something the Cardinals have chosen to change to start every year in the Bruce Arians era.

For more, check out the entire entry at Revenge of the Birds.

Detroit Lions: Not addressing the running game (again)

With Matthew Stafford having one of his most efficient seasons of his career, and a pair of receivers nearly hitting 1,000 yards, it’s tragic to watch the season unfold where your quarterback is left carrying a poor defense with no help from his running game. If the Lions had paid more attention to their pass rush, they’d probably be a lot better off, but if they had paid more attention to their run game they could potentially be much better set up not only in 2017, but for the future.

For more, check out the entire entry at Pride of Detroit.

Green Bay Packers: Being unprepared for secondary injuries

Aaron Rodgers getting hurt is the easy answer — too easy. So the Acme Packing Company crew weighed in on something else they wish they had a mulligan on.

Perhaps no area of the team is as affected as the secondary. Green Bay figured to improve its cornerback depth with the additions of Kevin King and Davon House, but both starters have missed extensive time this season with injuries. After playing in 16 games both seasons in Jacksonville, House was notably hit with the injury bug once again while in Green Bay. It’s almost a curse. Without House and King, the Packers have been exposed for their lack of depth at cornerback behind Damarious Randall. Josh Hawkins has struggled in his sophomore campaign, while Green Bay has shied away from giving reps to undrafted rookies Donatello Brown and Lenzy Pipkins. Early season injuries to Quinten Rollins and the developmental Herb Waters didn’t help the situation, but it’s apparent that talent and veteran experience is needed in this unit and should’ve been addressed heading into the regular season.

For more, check out the entire entry at Acme Packing Company.

Los Angeles Chargers: Not choosing wisely at kicker

Deciding to go with Younghoe Koo over Josh Lambo. That decision alone would have given them at least possibly two extra wins. With a competent kicker, they'd have been a playoff team this year.

For more, check out the entire entry at Bolts from the Blue.

New England Patriots: The new faces at RB haven’t worked out like they hoped

This is an evaluation in hindsight because I absolutely loved what the Patriots did at running back. I loved the signings of Rex Burkhead and Mike Gillislee and thought that they would be able to form one of the best duos in the NFL. Burkhead has battled injuries all season and Gillislee has been a healthy scratch since the bye week. It hasn’t gone according to plan.

If the Patriots could do it again, perhaps they would have retained LeGarrette Blount instead of signing Mike Gillislee. The Patriots have used both players in the same fashion- they’ve been grinders between the tackles, but the coaches refused to throw them the ball to soften the run defense in the box- but Blount was a better fit just based on Gillislee’s inactivity.

For more, check out the entire entry at Pats Pulpit.

What a difference one player makes

No one could have predicted these, but still ...

San Francisco 49ers: Imagine if they had traded for Jimmy Garoppolo in the offseason

It would be mostly guess work to suggest how the 49ers would stand right now if Garoppolo had been starting from Week 1. Of the ten losses, the five single-digit games are clearly toss-ups. The second losses to the Seahawks and Cardinals were by 11 and 10 points, respectively. They are not toss-ups, but they would have been more interesting with Garoppolo in the saddle. That’s seven games right there that could have swung differently, so you’re looking at a team that could at the very least have found themselves at .500, if not better.

It’s all just speculation, but it is interesting to consider as we head toward the offseason. Barring anything unexpected, the 49ers are going to be a popular playoff pick next summer. It will be hard to really qualify them as a sleeper if Garoppolo is starting when training camp arrives.

For more, check out the entire entry at Niners Nation.

Seattle Seahawks: Malik McDowell’s ATV accident set off a chain reaction

The injury to McDowell reportedly while riding an all-terrain vehicle before the season set in motion the eventual trade for Sheldon Richardson. Not trading for Richardson again allows the Seahawks to retain a higher round pick, and in addition keeps Jermaine Kearse in Seattle. While fans and writers alike made a pariah of Kearse after struggling in 2016, he has since performed like his old clutch self for the New York Jets. Preventing the injury to McDowell, like all of these changes, has cascading effects throughout the franchise. With more cap space, better 2018 draft capital, and a receiver we know works well with Russell Wilson, perhaps the 2017 Seahawks end up better off.

For more, check out the entire entry at Field Gulls.

Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota taking a step back

Ultimately, I decided that the one thing I would change about the Titans season is the regression we have seen in Marcus Mariota. It has been a brutal year for him, and it has us all wondering what he will look like going forward- especially if there are no changes to the coaching staff. He needs to be running and up-tempo, spread-type offense. Mike Mularkey wants to run a slow, tight offense. Those two things haven’t gelled this season.

For more, check out the entire entry at Music City Miracles.

Can’t complain much, honestly

Oh, the season isn’t going well? Couldn’t be these teams.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Blake Bortles getting bit by that radioactive spider or whatever earlier

Maybe the one thing I’d change is flipping whatever switch went off in Blake Bortles’ head a few months earlier. If he had been playing all season as well as he has the last three weeks, we’d be undefeated. Easily. The early losses to the Tennessee Titans and New York Jets do not happen. The Los Angeles Rams don’t have enough fluke special teams plays in the world to overcome it. And the Arizona Cardinals don’t win on a last-second kick.

For more, check out the entire entry at Big Cat Country.

Philadelphia Eagles: Outside of Carson Wentz’s injury, not much

This Eagles season has been special. It’s simply not every year you start out 12-2 with a real good chance to clinch the No. 1 seed in Week 16.

Even with Wentz out, this team still have a legitimate chance to make a Super Bowl run. Their chances are obviously significant worse without Wentz, but hey, who knows.

For more, check out the entire entry at Bleeding Green Nation.

Los Angeles Rams: The waiting was the hardest part

We had to see a 10-win Cleveland Browns team and an 11-win Jacksonville Jaguars team in 2007. We had to see the Oakland Raiders turn things around last year. We had to constantly look upward at the San Francisco 49ers during their three-year run to the NFC Championship or the Arizona Cardinals who had periods of success under former HC Ken Whisenhunt and current HC Bruce Arians or the Seattle Seahawks who have consistently been a thorn in our sides since 2010.

Year after year after year, we waited. And hoped. And something worth celebrating has finally arrived.

I wouldn’t change anything except for how long we had to wait for it to get here.

For more, check out the entire entry at Turf Show Times.

Josh McCown, the one who got away

Maybe McCown has a future career as the love interest in a Hallmark Christmas movie.

Cleveland Browns: Besides everything? Letting McCown walk

McCown was still under contract with the Browns for 2018, but the Browns opted to let him go. He went on to have a great season by his standards for the New York Jets before succumbing to his annual injury bug. McCown had it rough last year after his injury, but the team could’ve kept him in camp this year to evaluate his health. If they had, there’s no doubt that he would’ve out-shined Cody Kessler, Kevin Hogan, and DeShone Kizer in the quarterback room. Brock Osweiler would’ve been cut right away instead of dragging that mess out for so long. I’d venture to guess that Cleveland would have a handful of wins right now too.

For more, check out the entire entry at Dawgs by Nature.

Denver Broncos: They should have signed an established journeyman QB like Josh McCown

Brock Osweiler - a journeyman quarterback now - was the only quarterback who looked like a functional NFL player out there, but the team never really seemed interested in keeping him as the starter. If they had brought in some other journeyman before training camp, maybe they would have liked that guy more.

Who knows. It’s a lot of woulda, coulda, shoulda, but a functional journeyman guy like a Josh McCown or something, probably would have guided this team into a playoff hunt instead of an eight-game losing streak.

For more, check out the entire entry at Mile High Report.

And all the rest

Like stocking stuffers, here are the ones that don’t fit neatly into a box.

Atlanta Falcons: All the little mistakes that cost them games

I’d erase the penalties which erased the interceptions which might have made a difference in the outcome of multiple games this year. I’d delete the interceptions that came off receivers bobbling and bumbling what should have been obvious catches. I’d terminate Julio Jones’ drops, especially the wide open one in the end zone against the Panthers that might have won that game. And I’d definitely send Steve Sarkisian’s decision to run a jet sweep on 4th and goal against the Patriots into the void.

For more, check out the entire entry at The Falcoholic.

Buffalo Bills: Rick Dennison was the wrong choice for offensive coordinator

Buffalo had Cordy Glenn, Richie Incognito, Eric Wood, John Miller, Jordan Mills and LeSean McCoy in 2016 and 2017 along with Tyrod Taylor. But out goes Anthony Lynn and in comes Dennison and the Bills offense drops to 23rd in scoring (down six points a game) and touchdowns. Instead of 5.3 yards per carry and 164.4 yards per game on the ground, Buffalo is averaging 4.2 yards per carry and 129.1 yards per game on the ground. So why are the same Bills players gaining a yard less on every carry and 35 rushing yards less every game?

Offensive coordinator Rick Dennison came in and changed everything about the offense, but especially changing the blocking assignments and the running game. He turned a successful offense into a bad one.

For more, check out the entire entry at Buffalo Rumblings.

Cincinnati Bengals: The youth movement should have started earlier

The Bengals started the season using none of their new young players. They relied on essentially a hollowed out version of last year’s squad to try and win. It did not go well. If I could change one thing it would be to infuse the youth of this roster into the starting lineup sooner and have prepared them better to succeed.

For more, check out the entire entry at Cincy Jungle.

Miami Dolphins: They didn’t start their season in Week 1 like they were supposed to

According to multiple reports back before Week 1, the Dolphins and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers both asked the league to allow the teams to play their season opening game in a neutral field, rather than postpone it until the shared bye week in Week 11, to avoid the dangers of Hurricane Irma. The league decided that moving the game to the bye week was the best option. That should not have been the answer.

The Dolphins (and Buccaneers) had to play 16 straight weeks this season because of that decision. Miami had to move out to California and spend a week there before playing their Week 2 game against the Los Angeles Chargers. The Dolphins did not have a true home game until Week 5, having to play in London in Week 4, a game which counted as a home game.

For more, check out the entire entry at The Phinsider.

New York Jets: Relying too much on veteran players to help win games

I don’t mind winning 5 to 6 games, but if I could change one thing about this Jets season it would be the wins resulting more from young players developing into foundational pieces than veterans having career years.

For more, check out the entire entry at Gang Green Nation.

Oakland Raiders: John Pagano should’ve been the defensive coordinator all along

John Pagano has pressed all the right buttons since taking Ken Norton Jr.’s place after week 11.

Under Norton, the Raiders gave up 368.2 yards and 24.8 points per game. Since Pagano has taken over, the Raiders have given up 304.75 yards and 19.25 points per game. Right now, that 368.2 yards per game would be good enough for No. 28 in the NFL.

If the Raiders had given up 304.75 yards per game all year, they would be No. 4 in the league. Their points per game under Norton would have them at No. 27 right now and if Pagano had the defense from the beginning of the season, they would be at No. 5.

For more, check out the entire entry at Silver and Black Pride.

Pittsburgh Steelers: They wish they could’ve toned down the drama

While I would love to change the amount of drama this team has experienced both on and off the field, it has done a tremendous job proving the mental toughness of this football team. Kudos to Mike Tomlin and company for keeping the team focused on the task at hand, especially when the outside distractions would have ripped apart an average team.

For more, check out the entire entry at Behind the Steel Curtain.

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tacky-thoughts-blog · 7 years

Text

One of my short stories.

Still getting used to this, but I guess I’ll start by posting some of my short stories. I’d post the main one, but it’s too long.

Broken Skies: Wispen

Kirk swamp is a really dark place, with tall mangroves that form a thick canopy overhead. In fact, it’s so thick that even during the day you’d be hard pressed to find the glare from the sun. Giant salamanders the size of human children drudge through the calf deep murk. Their size is unfortunate for the lost traveler because they’re the least deadly thing here. Even the trees have been known to suck the life out of you when the water level drops. In every way this place is inhospitable to foreign life, but even so I call it home.

In the morning I descend down from the tree cavity I live in, with a rope made of entwined vines. Had to de-thorn those things, they’ll make your eyes bleed. Then after sliding down twenty feet, or so, I stop by the home of one of my only friends, Burkle. He’s a canopy rat, his bite will make you delirious for about a day. I found him a few years back with a broken leg. I fed him till it healed, and he just followed me since. Unlike the other ones I’ve met, he doesn’t squeak about loudly. No, he’s really quite. I ask him how he slept, he just silently stares, like he’s saying, “The same as always.”

I climb down the rest of the way, and pat the tree, thanking it for not eating me. Such a nice tree. Once a swore I saw the leaves shake when I hugged it after a bad day. Stretching in preparation to go get some grub, the swamp birds began the great squawk. I learned the sun makes them flee into the lower canopy around this time when I climbed an unusually tall tree awhile back. The noise wakes up the salamanders, who begin the “laborious” task of scavenging for algae and carrion. I follow them sometimes to see where they go. Got my clothes from some corpse they lead me to. They use to be cautious of me, but they don’t mind anymore.

Food can be scarce. If I tried to eat one of the animals here they’d take more notice of me, so I can’t. Some travelers I overheard said that the salamanders taste like lamp oil, and vinegar though. So I usually look for edible plants. The best one is this moss with little golden flowers! It tastes great! I always spread the seeds for the plant, and eat only a portion. Have to treat the swamp properly, or you’ll have beetles in your spine. Bark bugs to be exact, they eat drifters that sleep against the trees.

Even with all the danger I still love my home. However… I would love to see more of the world. I want to meet many people! To travel free, such a lovely thought.

Caught up in my thoughts I frolicked, and strutted about for some time. Happening about I came across another friend, Scratch. Oh, mister Scratch! I have some food for you! Scratch is a Rough Wood Deer. He has antlers that make him look like a tree, and I only stand up to half his calf. I call him Scratch because he has weird scars on his sides. I pulled out some grass from my pocket. Here! He lowered his head down to look at me, turning it to its side to get a better look at me. I picked it off a swamp turtle when I cleaned its back! Go on, it tastes good! Scratch grabbed it with his prehensile tongue, then lifted his head back up. Always standing here like a statue.

What are you looking at so far away? Sigh, guess you couldn’t tell me even if you wanted to, huh. Oh well. See you later Scratch! Time to head back home, I’ve gone too deep into the swamp again.

By the time I had arrived, it was dark out. At night the trees contract their foliage, allowing the moonlight to reflect down into the swamp. Burn Beetles fly out of their holes, joyfully lighting the night with their almost glowing, palm sized bodies. They get the glow, and their name, from their acid blood. The occasional whack from a passerby’s metal stick, will show how fun that is.

Ah, there’s a new mark on Mr.Tree here. Feels shallow. Thinking nothing of it I climbed to my abode. I slept well that night. When I woke up, I stretched my arms free. Turning to my doorway I saw a child around my age standing there.

“What the hell are you doing in my house?”

“It’s cold out there.”

“So? That doesn’t sound like my problem.”

“Why are you being a yak’s ass? You were being so nice to all those animals yesterday, that I thought you might help…”

Around this time I got tired of the strange boy. Standing up, I walked toward him, and placed my hand on his chest. The brat was all flustered, saying something like why’s a girl living in a swamp? I looked him in the eyes, and said, “I don’t like people. Get out of my house.” I pushed him out the door. I’m sure he’ll be fine, had a metal stick on his side. People with those are a bit harder to kill than that. Since he clearly was following me yesterday I decided to just stay inside today.

For some time, I can’t remember how long, he climbed back up to my room every morning. I would always treat him so badly. However he always came back, then one day he didn’t come to greet me like always. It’s funny, I was so worried that day.

Where could the fly be today. He’s usually here by now. Whatever, it’s not like I care… maybe I’ll just look for him for a bit.

I climbed down the tree wandering about the swamp without direction.

“Hey fly! I’m waiting!”

“...”

“I’m completely unguarded!”

“...”

“Oh… I guess he’s gone now. It’s fine… yeah. I’ll just go visit Burkle’s house. Haven’t done that in a while.”

Even though Burkle comes to visit all the time, he doesn’t live that close. He goes through the canopy so he can get to my house pretty fast, but I have to go through this muck to get over to his. So I don’t go too often.

Burkle lives in one of those metal chests the foreigners wear. It’s covered in moss with a single yellow flower growing on top. The stem is so small it’s hard to see, and I’ve never seen it out of bloom. It probably wilts when I’m not around, there’s no way a flower can live so long.

“Ugh, the muck around your house is so much thicker! Hi Burkle! You home? Burkle~! Hmm, doesn’t seem to be around, and it took me so long to get here too!”

When I turned around I saw something I would never forget for the rest of my life. Scratch was standing there covered in wounds. His horns were broken up, and he looked straight at me. It felt so much longer than I could ever say. My friend injured without me even knowing, It hurt so much.

He rushed toward me, and reared me onto his back, and began running. I was so panicked, it felt like my heart was held back like a bowstring.

“Scratch what happened to you!? Why… why are you so hurt!? Where… what hap… happened to… to your horns”

Sobbing so loudly it echoed in the silent swamp, I hugged the back of his neck. He stopped, and nudged me slightly. His gaze at several dead people in the water being eaten by salamanders. His once mighty horns scattered as fragments in the water.

Against a tree on the far side of view was him, the boy who failed to greet me. His left arm was gone, and the metal stick usually at his side rested in the back of the corpse closest to him.

“So he was your friend, huh… It’s good he found you. You can bandage him...”

The boy became silent just like that. At first I thought he hurt Scratch, but I changed my mind when scratch kept tapping him with his hoof looking at me with a face he’s never shown. I bandaged him with plants around the area to stop the bleeding, then we took him, and his metal stick back home.

The second we got back, I sent Burkle who was nearby to get some herbs. I took an extra vine from the trunk of Mr. Tree to replace the the current bandages. We worked through the night.

As the sun rose on the most stressful night of my life so far. The boy who I had treated all night looked up at me.

“Good morning, my name’s ---- what’s yours?

All my emotions, stress, and grief came out at once as I began sobbing above him.

“Sh… shut up. No one asked.”

“Ah~, so cold. Haha… agck! You could be nicer. What’s your name?”

“Wi… Wispen.”

“How nice.”

We sat together for the rest of the day talking about trivial things. He comes from a nomad tribe. When he got separated from them he didn’t know where to go. Remembering the words of a local he entered Kirk Swamp looking for “The swamp witch” hoping she’d let him stay with her. Such a stupid idea.

“What did you eat?”

“I had some jerky, but I ran out a few days ago. On my first day here I saw a man eat a flower, and his nose exploded. Really doesn’t make you eager to eat things around here when that’s your first impression.”

“Why didn’t you ask me for food?”

“When you kept tossing me out?”

“Nevermind…”

“So… are you really The Witch of Kirk Swamp? You’re a lot nicer than they made you out to be.”

“They were probably talking about my mother…”

“Oh? Where’s she? I haven’t seen her.”

“She died…”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“It was a few years ago, she died fighting off a stone man.”

“A golem?”

“Is that what they’re called? I didn’t know.”

From that day on we lived together. Those were the happiest times of my life. If only time could’ve just stopped then.

Year 1017, Month 2 of the New Calendar, day 16. 1 year until the invasion of Kirk Swamp.

#my writing #Broken Skies #fiction #short story #still new to tumblr #Wispen #Kirk Swamp

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